Jokes About EVERY Diet Ever. Dry Bar Comedy

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @nicolesummers4833
    @nicolesummers4833 2 роки тому +149

    The people that decorate the background are just awesome! They do a really good job. It's always different and cool.

    • @chrisapollo6676
      @chrisapollo6676 2 роки тому +9

      ... and here, all I was doing, was paying attention to the jokes...
      J/K. 😜

    • @atlasshrugged7475
      @atlasshrugged7475 2 роки тому +10

      Yep, that looks like such a fun job.

    • @zenleeparadise
      @zenleeparadise 2 роки тому +6

      Yeah, you can tell that Dry Bar is a real passion project for everyone involved! I wanna visit someday!

    • @strikingvikings
      @strikingvikings 2 роки тому

      Pool

    • @georgiebell2315
      @georgiebell2315 2 роки тому +4

      I've thought the same thing before!♡°♡

  • @tigq1430
    @tigq1430 Рік тому +50

    All these comedians really helped during 2020. Thanks to all✌💜

    • @maenad1231
      @maenad1231 11 місяців тому +3

      Yo relatable AF
      2020 was the year I binged more stand up comedian content more than I collectively have in my entire life before the fact.

    • @missingno81
      @missingno81 10 місяців тому +1

      A nice get away from all the political nonsense.

    • @lamondresanders9247
      @lamondresanders9247 10 місяців тому

  • @saramartin179
    @saramartin179 2 роки тому +331

    “If you’re more texan than me you’re Mexican” 😂👏🏽

  • @charleslee1879
    @charleslee1879 2 роки тому +502

    I LOVE Dry Bar! Outstanding comedians and no filth. Thanks, Dry Bar!

    • @cecemeyers6028
      @cecemeyers6028 2 роки тому +20

      It’s the “no filth” part I like. Gotta be really clever and truly funny just cleaning up their act, right?

    • @sammeyphammey349
      @sammeyphammey349 2 роки тому +11

      Dry bar only employs clean comedians

    • @johnasendorf8409
      @johnasendorf8409 2 роки тому +10

      by the looks of this video, the rules are so restrictive that they all have to tell the same tired jokes

    • @rani-pj5me
      @rani-pj5me 2 роки тому +4

      The almond milk part is quite sus tho 😂

    • @sammeyphammey349
      @sammeyphammey349 2 роки тому +5

      They only produce and promote clean comedians

  • @plumafina
    @plumafina Рік тому +22

    Bravo for the Mexican joke. A man with culture.

  • @MenelionFR
    @MenelionFR 6 місяців тому +13

    "14 plates, 12 calories, what's goin' on here?" that killed me, so true! 😂😂

  • @shygoodwin6190
    @shygoodwin6190 2 роки тому +383

    I can relate to to the guy who was vegetarian until he broke up with his girlfriend. I lived with my ex in Cali for 4 years and was vegetarian for 2 of those years. We broke up, I moved back home to Philly and one of the first things I did was buy and eat a cheesesteak.

  • @CaloBrown
    @CaloBrown Рік тому +106

    "Had to eat cereal with a fork to save on milk." I'm ded 🤣

  • @annemiller8227
    @annemiller8227 2 роки тому +167

    Thanks to the person who created this compilation.
    It's a great sampling of some really great talent!!
    I will definitely keep an eye open for additional content!!

  • @abbyvera44
    @abbyvera44 2 роки тому +84

    I was once vegan because I wanted to try it for a year, then pescetarian the next year. It was really so much fun to discover how my sense of taste change, how my body change. I am really enjoing these videos.

  • @bookwyrm247
    @bookwyrm247 Рік тому +32

    The milking almonds joke slayed me… 😂

  • @debbiedefiestheoddsdebm9604
    @debbiedefiestheoddsdebm9604 Рік тому +35

    Waterboarding the squirrels to find out when the deer arrive😂😂

  • @RaizelSX
    @RaizelSX 2 роки тому +76

    04:10 dude kills me every time, my guy went vegan and turned antianimal all at the same time lmao

  • @lisablanchard8915
    @lisablanchard8915 2 роки тому +40

    I am a Vegan and this is hysterical to me!!!! loved it

  • @staci8999
    @staci8999 2 роки тому +18

    I love that hefty giggle he has. Makes me laugh a little bit more with each joke it's awesome. Like a second wind to each joke!

  • @Lemana28021989
    @Lemana28021989 2 роки тому +22

    In Germany and some other countries it has to be labelled as Drink. So there's Almond drink, soy drink, oat drink and so on.

  • @charcoalanderson8010
    @charcoalanderson8010 2 роки тому +29

    Spirit animal guy absolutely had me rolling. And his voice sounds like Winnie the Pooh for some reason, I love it.

    • @maenad1231
      @maenad1231 2 роки тому +5

      He does give off teddy-bear vibes 😊

  • @MJLondn
    @MJLondn 2 роки тому +48

    Drybar, PLEASE do a playlist of all your awesome compilations! I love them. But they're hard for us to find now that you've done so many, unless we can remember every single topic. Pretty please! Thank you 😘

    • @cinaannie7338
      @cinaannie7338 Рік тому +2

      Have you tried "Dry bar compilations?"

  • @modelmanjohn
    @modelmanjohn 2 роки тому +1927

    The other day I choked on a carrot. I thought to myself: "A donut would never betray me like that."

  • @awarnesscarelessbn
    @awarnesscarelessbn Рік тому +8

    I can't friggin breathe! That first female comic was hysterical! 😂🤣

  • @otpyrcralphpierre1742
    @otpyrcralphpierre1742 Рік тому +8

    Funny, an ad came on while I was watching this about KFC spicy fried chicken!

  • @adrianasilitonga7335
    @adrianasilitonga7335 2 роки тому +66

    so funny... there's so such thing in my country...i mean, if we have something, ANYTHING to eat for the day, then we're all greatful.

    • @ItsFreshItsAnne
      @ItsFreshItsAnne 2 роки тому +1

      Where are you from? Makes my heart break!

    • @quickchris10
      @quickchris10 2 роки тому

      Yes, if we want to feed the world, we all need to eat grains. That's what feeds the world.

    • @kriscent1
      @kriscent1 2 роки тому +9

      Spam. If you don't have enough to eat, you definitely can't afford an internet bill

    • @factsoverfiction7826
      @factsoverfiction7826 Рік тому +4

      @@kriscent1
      In some countries, internet is a public utility or even free (government provided with taxpayer funds.)

    • @skibee421
      @skibee421 Рік тому

      internets free-@@kriscent1

  • @patriciaseaton1522
    @patriciaseaton1522 2 роки тому +45

    I love Karen Rontowski’s quirky, hilarious humor.

  • @everleighxoxox
    @everleighxoxox 2 роки тому +12

    Jeff Allen had me WHEEZING with the rice cakes 😭😭😭😭😭

    • @davidm8657
      @davidm8657 2 місяці тому

      The “kids starving in China” bit brought me back to my childhood! 😁

  • @winterabraham1667
    @winterabraham1667 2 роки тому +18

    The second guy killed me with the giggles

  • @ceebee2907
    @ceebee2907 2 роки тому +148

    Some of these were absolutely hilarious, yes, my family is vegan.

  • @maenad1231
    @maenad1231 Рік тому +31

    Heath Harmison seems like that one teacher in the school every student loved because he was cooler, more youthful, funnier and laid back and managed to get us emotionally invested in the subject we taught

  • @sonyap8253
    @sonyap8253 Рік тому +7

    My kids are preschool age, but they love nature docs. So I taught them, "animals are not mean, they're just hungry." Wish vegans could understand this about their own species. It's not "mean" to eat animals. It's just nature 🤷‍♀️ bad for the planet with mass farming, but natural.

  • @granddame1000
    @granddame1000 2 роки тому +53

    I still talk about how great the school cafeterias were. I would be so excited everyday to see the lunch lady with the cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She was a great cook

  • @morganstarchild5359
    @morganstarchild5359 Рік тому +13

    Can't even cook when the chicken is watching lmfao 😂😂😂

  • @kmh752
    @kmh752 Рік тому +13

    “My Mr. Potatohead had a face.” That one killed me. All the jokes were great, but that one caught me off guard.

  • @NapaValleyVegan
    @NapaValleyVegan Рік тому +21

    Oh, I love that this was all vegan jokes! Vegan 15 years and I laughed out loud the whole video!

    • @jackberetta1
      @jackberetta1 10 місяців тому +1

      And you’re still alive? Wow

  • @liliandixon2778
    @liliandixon2778 2 роки тому +72

    Take a shot every time someone says “they’re in here they’re just too weak to raise their arms” guaranteed to be blackout 30 mins in

    • @shateekacook7789
      @shateekacook7789 2 роки тому

      right!!

    • @NicNac13c
      @NicNac13c 2 роки тому +4

      Unfortunately for us this is Drybar. No drinking allowed!
      But your comment was funnier than this video!

    • @therealtulip
      @therealtulip Рік тому +1

      LOL totally 😂

    • @chozen_1309
      @chozen_1309 Рік тому +3

      Kiiiind of just proves the misconception of it plant diet lol yes all jokes but the fact that every other person said it really speaks volumes. Been plant based for 2 years and I am by far the healthiest and even stronger than I ever have been . All the other jokes were great but that joke is just lame and a weak attempt. O well lol

    • @tradtke101
      @tradtke101 Рік тому +1

      And boy are their wings tired

  • @rejaneflorinda6162
    @rejaneflorinda6162 2 роки тому +342

    Once I told a farmer, very humble chap, that I didn't eat meat. He thought about it for a second and then said: "It is really easy to take care of you, then. You are like a cow or a rabbit."

  • @twocyclediesel1280
    @twocyclediesel1280 11 місяців тому +3

    I actually used to play with mercury. I found a tube of it in dad’s stuff in the attic. He had a box of crap from his college days. I’d roll it around the floor. Course the house had lead paint as well.

    • @lisacurtis8162
      @lisacurtis8162 6 місяців тому

      That is one Toxic house 😮😮😢

  • @SailingwithMaury
    @SailingwithMaury Рік тому +3

    As someone who needs to be gluten and dairy free I think it is wonderful that you created a whole program around this issue. It is a sad reality in todays food marketplace where almost Everything is made with dairy and wheat so to hear jokes about it helps take the edge off the challenging reality. The benefits of my limitation diet are immense. At 63 my brain works better, bloated belly is gone, the list of benefits is long, it is joyous to feel so good after a lifetime of challenges. Thank you.

    • @kathyyoung1774
      @kathyyoung1774 Рік тому

      The only people who need to avoid gluten are people with Celiac Disease or an allergy to gluten.

  • @kayeragdull217
    @kayeragdull217 Рік тому +10

    My ancestors did not claw their way to the top of the food chain so I can eat a carrot. Thank you.

  • @NapaValleyVegan
    @NapaValleyVegan Рік тому +8

    I loved to hear the UP (upper peninsula of MI) mentioned! I am a born & bred Yooper. I have been vegan for 15 years and my family is still a bit mystified by it!

  • @martinnussbaum3435
    @martinnussbaum3435 2 роки тому +84

    When I ate vegeterian, everybody got upset with me. I ate most things, never had trouble finding something on the menu within my diet, improved the planet and was constantly pressured to change my diet. Now, I eat keto which is nearly all meat, but nothing with carbs. I have trouble finding anything at the grocery store, can't go to any restaurant, have a diet that costs considerably more to the ecology and face absolutely no social pressure from anybody to change. Go figure!

    • @marywilliams9858
      @marywilliams9858 2 роки тому +21

      Aren' t you constipated?

    • @rejaneflorinda6162
      @rejaneflorinda6162 2 роки тому +14

      It seems that it's time to go back to vegetarianism. Economically it makes more sense. When I was vegan I had to be very flexible and prepared because a lot of places do not care if your chicken and your carrot were mixed up in the same frying pan. So I gave up veganism and became vegetarian, it was pretty much the same, but less worrisome.

    • @maenad1231
      @maenad1231 2 роки тому +11

      When I adopted a pescetarian diet _(predominantly vegetarian/vegan food + periodically supplementing the diet with certain kinds of seafood)_ people encouraged me, supported me, learned new recipes, and some even doted over me - still happens sometimes. You were hanging around toxic people

    • @TheRealGypsyJane
      @TheRealGypsyJane Рік тому +11

      People tell me how unhealthy and impossible keto is. Funny how i get healthier on it.

    • @MsAnchovey
      @MsAnchovey Рік тому +12

      Keto is so easy. Carnivore is a little more difficult at first but now I I wouldn change for anything. It easily weaned me from 50 years of Carbaholism and alcohol. Love it!!

  • @Merzui-kg8ds
    @Merzui-kg8ds Рік тому +22

    Almond "milk": 3 almonds blended in a quart of water sold for twice the price of milk. Just eat three almonds and chase them down with a glass of water.

  • @purfecly_impurfec
    @purfecly_impurfec Рік тому +1

    He's right!! Cap'n Crunch, searing hot pizza cheese, and bubbling gravy in a pie crust will tear your mouth up!!

  • @tanyagarcia3721
    @tanyagarcia3721 2 роки тому +11

    if you're more texan than that then you're mexican. had to laugh on that and funny thing is that i'm half hispanic living in colorado and had a good laugh at that

  • @FutureCommentary1
    @FutureCommentary1 2 роки тому +33

    43:59 To be fair a lot has evolved in agriculture. Some people say they are allergic to wheat in the USA; but then they go to Europe and they are fine.

    • @uncapabrew4807
      @uncapabrew4807 2 роки тому +9

      GMO’s

    • @markchilluffo9638
      @markchilluffo9638 2 роки тому +13

      Pesticides,GMO , herbicides and chemical fertilizers

    • @kcallaghan7839
      @kcallaghan7839 2 роки тому +9

      it's the ingredience they add. I can't eat certain ones from the same company. My girlfriends daughter was constantly being rushed to the hospital. She couldn't eat fries, cake, all kinds of odd foods. They thought she was poisoning her. Looking back now, because I and my son had food allergies at one point. I realized our bodies had too much of it and your body is reacting to it, saying to stop eating it for a while, because it has enough and doesn't want any more. That's why we crave certain foods and we have enough causing a body reaction. Corn is an ingredient found in a lot of foods. I think it has caused a lot of problems. Just like P&J that was a favorite lunch . Corn is in everything and corn surup sticks to you. Their just not aware of the added ingredients, their body is reacting to probably. Oil could be the problem, like peanut oil & corn oil used in packaged foods. This is scary, because of the reactions you can get from them can be so painful. I couldn't move because of the pain for about a day and a 1/2. That is no fun, but these jokes are!

    • @shrileiok2303
      @shrileiok2303 2 роки тому

      @@kcallaghan7839 lumess hiilonlujheu
      No ou no you be hzduiii
      Hugh T I enjoo b de my Ituiutaba
      Hupessoal de i
      MBo jig

    • @shrileiok2303
      @shrileiok2303 2 роки тому

      @@markchilluffo9638 hi uus
      Sn on
      UlO I
      Hi b
      Ok Izumi I be free

  • @thepiedish903
    @thepiedish903 2 роки тому +16

    Ok ok ok. I'm sorry I missed her name but the first woman was freaking awesome. Found out it's the fastest way to annoy people is perfect.

  • @NaySayersRanch
    @NaySayersRanch 10 місяців тому +3

    Took me a second to get the prysism joke 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @tommunyon2874
    @tommunyon2874 Рік тому +2

    Jacksonville, Florida with no humidity outside? I always had to make sure my defroster was on before I crossed the intercoastal waterway at 5 a.m. on my drive to Neptune Beach.

  • @gen-x_dude
    @gen-x_dude 2 роки тому +6

    1:13:14 I completely forgot how much I used to love spaghetti and meatballs on white bread, it has been 30 years since I had that

    • @psychonauty2020
      @psychonauty2020 Рік тому +2

      I hope you have it here an there as you'd like now life's too short to not have the things you enjoy once in a while if you get the chance ♡

  • @gabby-248
    @gabby-248 Рік тому +10

    My favourite sandwich as a kid was a thick layer of mashed potatoes between two slices of white bread and I had four of those for lunch every day. Good times.

    • @yeah4me2
      @yeah4me2 Рік тому +2

      Mayo sandwiches were my fav

    • @RandyDuncan-x4h
      @RandyDuncan-x4h Рік тому

      I like sandwiches and mash potatoes nut that sounds gross

    • @kathyyoung1774
      @kathyyoung1774 Місяць тому

      Yeah, I take cholesterol medicine now, too.

  • @renatuspaul1347
    @renatuspaul1347 10 місяців тому +3

    Fun fact of the day: olives are native to Mediterranean areas, so they are not cultivated in Southeast Asia, which is typically too hot and humid for olives to grow well. Hence, "no Malaysian children were harmed in the making of these olives" would be true even if the olives were purchased from a non-fair trade store 😂

  • @ericafrieson3464
    @ericafrieson3464 Рік тому +7

    I really like Dry Bar-very funny! Thank you for the video and all the chuckles!

  • @FleaChristenson
    @FleaChristenson 2 роки тому +54

    I was vegan for about six months. It was for my health. It worked for about four months. Then my body was very angry. I happily went back to meat. Now we raise our own meat. Mmmm. Bacon. Steak.

    • @Panwere36
      @Panwere36 2 роки тому +2

      Not a surprise. Veganism doesn't work for everyone, and more than a few people have medical conditions that make it impossible to go vegan and they know it but still try to push it on others.

    • @Dom-De
      @Dom-De 2 роки тому +2

      @@Panwere36...but science says eating meat increases the risk of cancer, so I guess I'll skip it thanks.

    • @Panwere36
      @Panwere36 2 роки тому +11

      @@Dom-De , everything causes something. Also, I have meat eaters in my family who have never gotten cancer, nor have even had the scare.
      Some people in the "nutritional science" community have been for sale for a long time.

    • @Dom-De
      @Dom-De 2 роки тому +1

      @@Panwere36 hmmm, you think that -not- getting cancer is proof they aren't at increased risk due to eating meat? And science that doesn't conform with established beliefs is probably lies? The world was once widely thought to be flat. You know the meat & dairy industries are massive and promote things like "milk is good for you". which has been largely debunked. (most people are intolerant to dairy milk)

    • @Panwere36
      @Panwere36 2 роки тому +9

      @@Dom-De , so were the original beliefs in how "bad all fat was" that led to massive amounts of sugar added to food too. As a diabetic who has doctors i have consistently asked the question, I have been repeatedly told not to go vegan for a variety of reasons. All offense, but veganism isn't at all based on total honesty and also having the nut allergies I have as well, again, I have genuine reasons to call out the lifestyle for the tactics too many vegans use.
      Lastly.. we are not talking about genuine health reasons.. we are talking about the propaganda.. and blending fact with fiction is something certain vegans do far more than they should. Science is supposed to be questioned.. and so should that you claim "proves" what you say.

  • @ericavery3054
    @ericavery3054 Рік тому +15

    watching this on opening day of deer season as Im putting meat into freezer bags.

  • @socaldeb
    @socaldeb 2 роки тому +15

    Lots of fun, thanks!! 😀😃😄😆😅🤣😂

  • @martinsoos
    @martinsoos Рік тому +14

    I am a proud supporter of the 1/4 mile vegan marathon.

  • @ChipArgyle
    @ChipArgyle 2 роки тому +36

    I read in a very old book once that there is only one true vegan joke. We saw it here, over and over again.

    • @JohnGramer06
      @JohnGramer06 2 роки тому +11

      And you tell it to a vegan, they can’t get mad at you, they don’t have the energy to!

    • @thehousespouse
      @thehousespouse 2 роки тому

      To be fair, there are two.

    • @Kittyheavenwith21cats
      @Kittyheavenwith21cats 2 роки тому +2

      @@JohnGramer06 and not true.

    • @ellenoni2431
      @ellenoni2431 2 роки тому +3

      @@JohnGramer06 lol

    • @tylerarmstrong1380
      @tylerarmstrong1380 2 роки тому +12

      Hope it's not the "vegans are too weak to...". Funny jokes are about half exaggeration and half reality, but that joke has no real basis whatsoever. I know some badass vegans, and some very weak people who eat way too much meat.

  • @tabaxikhajit4541
    @tabaxikhajit4541 Рік тому +3

    As a kid with a strict mom, sleepovers were my cheat days. I was always amazed my friends would leave a bowl of sugary, colorful cereal to get soggy. It looked like a bowl of massacred unicorns. If you are going to kill a rainbow unicorn, at lease eat it!

  • @Lavenderrose73
    @Lavenderrose73 Рік тому +14

    "Do you have an eating outfit?"
    Yes, I eat in whatever outfit I'm wearing. 😆🤣

  • @7esseanime
    @7esseanime 2 роки тому +83

    :D A whole comedy show all about my diet, yes! It's so relatable, went from being obsessed with meat, to vegan, over 3 year process.

    • @Mark-sj3xb
      @Mark-sj3xb 2 роки тому +11

      Except the animals that raid the vegetable garden. BAMM!

    • @superdave1921
      @superdave1921 2 роки тому

      I hate vegans.
      Vegans eat my food.
      Vegans eat the food that my food eats.

    • @maenad1231
      @maenad1231 2 роки тому

      *A whole twenty minutes

  • @sonjamcclain9353
    @sonjamcclain9353 2 роки тому +7

    I made cookies in my belly! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Taylorkaraoke
    @Taylorkaraoke 2 роки тому +22

    "No product contains an ingredient that comes from an animal.
    Well, that's ironic, 'cause this is some bullsh..." LOOOL!!

  • @natalieb.8548
    @natalieb.8548 8 місяців тому +1

    "So poor we ate cereal with a fork to save on milk" 😂

  • @yahwehisdead
    @yahwehisdead 2 роки тому +4

    1:01:50
    My great grandmother used to say everyone eats a pound of dirt before they die. She lived to 90 something.....

  • @Storm_Lily
    @Storm_Lily Рік тому +13

    Eating cereal with a fork to save on milk bc you're poor is real. We lived it, lol.

    • @RandyDuncan-x4h
      @RandyDuncan-x4h Рік тому

      Spon costs just as much as a fork. It has nothing to do with being poor. We had it hard but we had all of the silverware

    • @Storm_Lily
      @Storm_Lily Рік тому +3

      @@RandyDuncan-x4h no, you use a fork so that less milk is required. IYKYK.

    • @RandyDuncan-x4h
      @RandyDuncan-x4h Рік тому

      @@Storm_Lily that's not nomal

    • @Storm_Lily
      @Storm_Lily Рік тому +2

      @@RandyDuncan-x4h it's what my mom had us do to save money because we were poor, and milk is expensive. When I met my husband years later, he told me the same story from his childhood. That's why that part of the vid was so funny for some of us. We lived it.

    • @Storm_Lily
      @Storm_Lily Рік тому

      ​@@RandyDuncan-x4h15:30 is the time stamp if you need to see it again...

  • @joshuarizalforeman816
    @joshuarizalforeman816 Рік тому +5

    I don't understand the constant references to the myth that vegans are physically weak. I am vegan. When I was younger I also boxed, played rugby, soccer and squash on a regular basis. My diet never had an adverse effect on me

  • @TheUSHERKAN
    @TheUSHERKAN 2 роки тому +15

    This compilation is Gold. 👌💛

  • @kizzadeo7389
    @kizzadeo7389 2 роки тому +7

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 being vegan means you can't even cook when the chicken is watching.

  • @FirstLast-il5gt
    @FirstLast-il5gt 8 місяців тому +1

    "We're both average painters" 😂😅

  • @sistermuhammad498
    @sistermuhammad498 2 роки тому +11

    Amazing ! Funny without swearing 😊 Brilliant !!

  • @ummm.what.
    @ummm.what. 2 роки тому +16

    Apparently he's never seen cupcake wars because there's always ALWAYS one group that makes either vegan or gluten free cupcakes lol

    • @deepsixthis
      @deepsixthis 2 роки тому +4

      I assume you meant “Gluten” since no cupcake is Glutton-free! 😂

  • @LillikoiSeed
    @LillikoiSeed Рік тому +5

    Load up Nugent. That’s funny.

  • @kimberlydavis4772
    @kimberlydavis4772 Рік тому +1

    I’ll board that ark with Jeff Goldblum!! Thanks dinojesus!

  • @starcrushedalien
    @starcrushedalien 11 місяців тому +3

    I don't eat meat and I can't stop laughing.

  • @lannyfullerjr6956
    @lannyfullerjr6956 Рік тому +2

    Nice juicy greasy cheese burger 🍔 with salad . I'm both. Lol

  • @richardcline1337
    @richardcline1337 Рік тому +5

    My doctor has me on a diet to lose weight. I've eaten so many salads even the wild rabbits that run through my yard are starting to look sexy! And having to read the labels on EVERYTHING to determine what I don't like and have to eat is crazy!

  • @SarahKDB
    @SarahKDB 2 роки тому +48

    I work with a lot of vegans and they love Taco Bell. Apparently they have good vegan options haha. Also, oreos are vegan. You can be an extremely obese unhealthy vegan. Also there are vegan bodybuilders. And no, I'm not vegan. But I wish I had the willpower to be.

    • @mwater_moon2865
      @mwater_moon2865 2 роки тому +4

      Very true, half of Girl Scout cookies are vegan, too.

    • @Primalxbeast
      @Primalxbeast 2 роки тому +3

      I'm pretty sure their steak quesadillas are vegetarian. They have cheese, but good luck finding any steak in those things, and I don't know what's in thier beef tacos, but whatever it is has never even met a cow.

    • @kasjenkins4527
      @kasjenkins4527 2 роки тому

      Oreos are not vegan. The main ingredient in the filling is lard ... aka animal fat

    • @mimicoolwhip5991
      @mimicoolwhip5991 2 роки тому

      Haha this is a hilarious comment! Also at least we can say were vegan when we eat Oreos. Id be willing to do that every day, if thats what it takes to be vegan😂

    • @christinebenson518
      @christinebenson518 2 роки тому +1

      @@BlueNorth313 You're hilarious. The only time I didn't eat meat for awhile, was years ago. I went a month without eating chicken after helping my aunt butcher chickens. The only part that bothered me is when my aunt mistakenly cut into a bile duct. Otherwise, no issues.
      I love my steak blue, love seafood and poultry.

  • @annemiller8227
    @annemiller8227 2 роки тому +7

    I didn't realize Rob Little had been on Dry Bar (not surprising!)
    I came across an old UA-cam of him prior to pandemic where he talks about his mom being an ER nurse.
    I was happy a tough shift and eating my lunch asap.
    I nearly choked to death bc I kept laughing.
    Sound quality is bad when he interviews the audience but he does repeat the story to the audience.
    You KNOW a story is real good when his eyes get really big and he says ok... so a guy and a saw... what kind of saw... ok... a concrete saw...
    You KNOW if that's how the story STARTS it's going to get INTERESTING and he manages to take that story and make it really funny

  • @HosCreates
    @HosCreates 2 роки тому +38

    Anti animal vegan 🤣I gota fight the bunnies for my lettuce and carrots I'm waterboarding the squirrels for when the deer come to eat my garden 💀 the vegan guy with the clapback 😅

  • @BigBadBritt
    @BigBadBritt Рік тому +31

    I’ve literally gained so much weight being vegetarian lol potatoes and pasta are my sworn enemies 😅😅😅

  • @realbadger
    @realbadger 2 роки тому +61

    My father taught me how to make pancakes.
    A couple of girlfriends ago bought some gluten free flour with which for me to make pancakes.
    I did.
    Once.
    Never again.
    I'll eat pancake shaped construction paper before making gluten free pancakes again.

    • @koadnonnash
      @koadnonnash 2 роки тому +10

      I made some gluten free vegan pancakes and brought them to a pancake breakfast, nobody could tell the difference.

    • @realbadger
      @realbadger 2 роки тому +10

      @@koadnonnash Different recipe, I'd presume...

    • @christineleblond7777
      @christineleblond7777 2 роки тому +8

      Try Pamela's brand gluten free. No one can tell they are gluten free. Even the kids can't tell.

    • @slsthewriter1299
      @slsthewriter1299 Рік тому +4

      @@realbadger Plus different method. You can't treat gluten-free like it has gluten. Lol.

    • @kathyyoung1774
      @kathyyoung1774 Рік тому

      Nothing can adequately replace wheat or gluten. GF bakery products are just not as good. People with Celiac Disease must eat gluten free. Nobody else needs to.

  • @instigatedeye5941
    @instigatedeye5941 2 роки тому +20

    Always a good laugh, I get mistaken for vegan all the time, nope, not vegan, just horribly allergic to dairy, pass the oatmilk please

    • @fainitesbarley2245
      @fainitesbarley2245 2 роки тому

      Porridge juice?

    • @instigatedeye5941
      @instigatedeye5941 2 роки тому +4

      @@fainitesbarley2245 out of all the non dairy "milks", the one made from oats has the best taste, and is the best one to put in coffee, or uh, to add to oatmeal to make it into creamy porridge. This is my personal opinion though, as I cannot use normal dairy products without getting really sick.

    • @sidewalksurf800
      @sidewalksurf800 2 роки тому +3

      @@fainitesbarley2245 cattle breast milk?

    • @fainitesbarley2245
      @fainitesbarley2245 2 роки тому

      😁

    • @tylerarmstrong1380
      @tylerarmstrong1380 2 роки тому +2

      Oat milk rocks. I'm not lactose intolerant or vegan and I still use oat milk just cause the flavor is so much better than cow milk.

  • @brightlight7293
    @brightlight7293 Рік тому +2

    I was a full-fledged vegan for 6 years. I researched everything I put in my mouth. I LOVED IT. Now I am a vegetarian/vegan. I live with family and they use to be 100% vegan but then the kids were having trouble at sleep overs and going out with their friends. So they moved to a vegetarian diet. If I lived alone, I would go back to a 100% vegan diet.

    • @tiesiai_per_aplinkui
      @tiesiai_per_aplinkui Рік тому +1

      I live with my husband, I am already 7 years vegan, (we are together 4 years), he is not vegan, not planning to change, not forcing him to change, because I become vegan purely because of my own health reasons, after that loads and loads of research.
      As for kids, idk, its hard to say how will we manage, but I said to my husband, that I won't cook 3 different meals 😂 it will be vegan or kid friendly omnivore.
      Idk I cook loads at home, I have my simple starch recipies, which makes my stomach happy, I guess if I wouldn't have such problems I would be less stricked and maybe move as well to vegetarian diet.

    • @joycediggs4617
      @joycediggs4617 Рік тому

      @@tiesiai_per_aplinkui k

    • @isabelc2131
      @isabelc2131 10 місяців тому

      ​@@tiesiai_per_aplinkui'kid friendly omnivore'? Just not for the four-legged kids that aren't yours, right? Bc your babiiiies count. Others can get raped and die, so yours can feed on them.

    • @isabelc2131
      @isabelc2131 10 місяців тому

      If you're choosing a rape and murder industry 'bc of the people' you have NEVER been a vegan!

  • @pickleballer1729
    @pickleballer1729 Рік тому +3

    7:00 My stepfather, the former Episcopalian priest would have LOVED that joke, almost as much as he loved his scotch.
    55:53 That's literally true for me, only it was my father. I played with Mercury and ran through thick clouds of DDT sprayed to keep the mosquitoes down so we wouldn't get malaria. Sure glad peanut allergies and gluten intolerance hadn't been invented yet.
    104:10 Wow, we've been in the Helicopter parent, no winners or losers world so long that he didn't even need to explain that joke.

  • @wendybutler1681
    @wendybutler1681 Рік тому

    My tablet was playing this when I woke up. Thank you, algorithm! I enjoyed it!

  • @ellasparks2488
    @ellasparks2488 2 роки тому +67

    This video should really be called "People all tell the same jokes for an hour".

    • @majoroldladyakamom6948
      @majoroldladyakamom6948 2 роки тому +10

      It's 1:55:03... almost 2 hours... 👍
      Thanks again, DB!! 👍

    • @JohnGramer06
      @JohnGramer06 2 роки тому +5

      Your point?

    • @darrenswails
      @darrenswails 2 роки тому +7

      It's because stereotypes are repeated for a reason....the element of truth

    • @terrycartwright3653
      @terrycartwright3653 Рік тому +2

      Can always tell a vegan

    • @cqt9223
      @cqt9223 Рік тому +1

      Yeah, check out Patrik Baboumian, a vegan weightlifter. And others. The same joke gets pretty old after multiple iterations.

  • @johncollins7062
    @johncollins7062 Рік тому +2

    “A philosopher named Aristippus, who had quite willingly sucked up to Dionysus and won himself a spot at his court, saw Diogenes cooking lentils for a meal. "If you would only learn to compliment Dionysus, you wouldn't have to live on lentils."
    Diogenes replied, "But if you would only learn to live on lentils, you wouldn't have to flatter Dionysus.”

  • @Natty_kitty
    @Natty_kitty 2 роки тому +43

    The vegan bakery joke was brutal (18:30). I am still crying with laughter

    • @mwater_moon2865
      @mwater_moon2865 2 роки тому +3

      Yeah, esp since vegan baking isn't that bad. Thin Mints are Vegan.

  • @starababa1985
    @starababa1985 2 роки тому +6

    I had a teacher who became a vegetarian when he was a very little kid, except for hot dogs. For some reason, he didn't consider hot dogs to be meat.

  • @ADerpyReality
    @ADerpyReality 2 роки тому +11

    I remember when vegetarian was a big deal and all it meant was no meat. Honey, dairy, yeast, eggs just no meat.

    • @joannaedwards6325
      @joannaedwards6325 2 роки тому +4

      Me too. Going father back....50s & 60s - Vegetarians ate fish, eggs, milk and cheese.
      Seems like many things have gotten MUCH STRICTER. I blame Millennials 😝😝😝.

    • @roselee4445
      @roselee4445 2 роки тому +8

      @@joannaedwards6325 vegetarian still do
      A vegan doesn't

    • @joannaedwards6325
      @joannaedwards6325 2 роки тому +2

      @@roselee4445
      Oh. Ok. Thank you. ✌

    • @uncapabrew4807
      @uncapabrew4807 2 роки тому +1

      People crying for attention! I’m so special - Good more meat for me -
      ( being sarcastic)
      Honest opinion - All the crap they put in foods these days Hormone jacked up in meat - GMO’s High FRUSTOSE Corn syrups all hidden sugars Got diabetes yet ! Alarming amount of kids ADD - Austism No wonder a lot unhealthy individuals. No DR or pharma made money off healthy people. All processed - I feel if you eat what God gave us naturally - Maybe the best way -

  • @ANOLDMASTERJUKZ
    @ANOLDMASTERJUKZ 2 роки тому +4

    In as much as as the subject is food: Two extraterrestrials sitting at a bar, one extraterrestrial speaking to the other one " it been a rough week, a couple of days ago I had to have two hemorrhoids removed ". The other answers back, " Don't feel bad, my doctor told me to chew my food better, I was having two humanoids removed !".

  • @omutvtube3910
    @omutvtube3910 2 роки тому +12

    Nut Juice 😂!

  • @roberthodge7802
    @roberthodge7802 2 роки тому +17

    My great uncle Milt was a pioneer heritage Mormon believer. His favorite joke was: Why do you never take just one Mormon fishing with you? Answer: Because he will drink all your beer! Such is humanity. At least we can laugh at ourselves when we need to.

  • @jameswillis5682
    @jameswillis5682 2 роки тому +3

    21:42 I cut my teeth on jerky, don't think for a second that a baby won't at least try to eat meat.

  • @juliebaker6969
    @juliebaker6969 2 роки тому +16

    What does a vegetarian use mustard for.....soft pretzels!

    • @sweetmissypetuniawilson9206
      @sweetmissypetuniawilson9206 2 роки тому +5

      I'd use some in potato salad or mac salad.

    • @juliebaker6969
      @juliebaker6969 2 роки тому +1

      @@sweetmissypetuniawilson9206 ALSO a good choice.

    • @KB-xs4cl
      @KB-xs4cl 2 роки тому +3

      Sandwiches 😋 Bread, lettuce, cheese, mayo, mustard -- delish!

    • @juliebaker6969
      @juliebaker6969 2 роки тому +2

      @@KB-xs4cl sounds good if you like mustard on lettuce, I prefer mayo personally. I know, mayo isn't vegan, but it IS vegetarian. And since I'm NOT vegetarian, I'd have to add turkey breast and bacon to your list.....and tomatoes, can't forget the home grown tomatoes (hydroponic isn't worth bothering with). In fact I just had a turkey breast, bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayo sandwich on honey wheat toast for supper last night. I like cheese too, but I prefer to save cheese for on melts. I'm making myself hungry, I better stop before I go snag some of the leftover mushroom pizza in the fridge.😋

    • @KB-xs4cl
      @KB-xs4cl 2 роки тому

      @@juliebaker6969 hahaha, that sounds PRETTY tasty! Used to love turkey breast sandwiches. Enjoy! 😂

  • @margarettickle9659
    @margarettickle9659 2 роки тому +6

    "When I get on a plane and I look around I see a smorgasbord." 😄🤣😂😆

  • @adelejay7747
    @adelejay7747 Рік тому +1

    It’s the trachea not the esophagus😂 Made the joke even funnier😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @sharinaross1865
    @sharinaross1865 2 роки тому +4

    Exactly why im making my glazed carrots and eating my sweet potato fries plain. I drink my almond milk.

  • @onlyeatapples3166
    @onlyeatapples3166 2 роки тому +47

    funny that all of them said the same joke about vegans not lifting their arms is kinda like when a store item doesnt ring up and you say to the cashier looks like its freee huhhuhhuh.

    • @tordyclark
      @tordyclark 2 роки тому +5

      Yeah, none of them have anything original. Then one guy makes a half joke about deaf people and apologizes for comparing that joke to a vegan joke. Here's my joke about meat eaters: I would ask you to walk quietly at night cos I'm sleeping but you can't because you walk TOO LOUDLY. Ha ha ha.

    • @Mushroomstops
      @Mushroomstops 2 роки тому +4

      Yeah I thought this was miss-labeled. Diet jokes should have been vegan jokes. Yes they are tired uninspired jokes that have no basis in reality. At least be funny.

    • @freemangriffin4953
      @freemangriffin4953 2 роки тому +1

      As a vegan I hate these jokes. Everybody needs to be vegan for the well-being of the entire planet.

    • @christinebenson518
      @christinebenson518 2 роки тому

      @@freemangriffin4953 I prefer the : screw it, I'm burning it to the ground method.

    • @catlifechannel3886
      @catlifechannel3886 2 роки тому +4

      Really lame, boring and predictable stereotyping. Vegan-bashing is old-school. No-one has anything original. A lot of vegans are likely stronger than they are.

  • @incacampers1175
    @incacampers1175 2 роки тому +21

    I had a peanut allergy since the 70s thru the 80s and still. My theory is parents started using formula in 60s instead of breast feeding and then allergies appeared

    • @kathyyoung1774
      @kathyyoung1774 Рік тому +2

      That is what often happens. One of my babies was obviously fed formula in the nursery behind my back because she reacted to both cows milk and soy the first time she had them after breastfeeding ended when she was more than a year old. She had been sensitized as a newborn. Research shows there are considerable long term health benefits in maintaining a “virgin gut” (nothing but breast milk) until at least 9 months, especially in families with genetic predispositions to allergies.

  • @OmnipotentSag
    @OmnipotentSag 2 роки тому +4

    I laughed hardest so far at Larry Omaha and the people on the plane being like a buffet! OMG! So stUp!
    -=8-D

  • @lisasmith7474
    @lisasmith7474 Рік тому +6

    Bacon is delicious.