Why Men Cheat According to Psychology

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  • Опубліковано 26 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 140

  • @SaveTheMessenger
    @SaveTheMessenger  5 місяців тому +3

    Please support our UA-cam channel by Subscribing -
    ua-cam.com/users/SaveTheMessenger
    It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.

  • @theologyofthesoul
    @theologyofthesoul 2 місяці тому +15

    Thank you for covering this topic Ismael. "Falling out of love", means falling out of LUST. Because Love is a repetitive daily virtuous choice, NOT an attraction, NOT a spark, NOT a hormone, and NOT an emotion. As Ismael said, all the reasons given for cheating, in research studies, listed in this video are simply blaming rationalized excuses....Excuses of selfish using people who don't know how to Love or communicate properly. Part of Love are dozens of other virtues such as but not limited to: Commitment / Fidelity, Faithfulness, Respect, Honesty, Integrity, etc. A man or woman who chooses not to have and live these virtues, needs to stay far away from all intimate relationships.

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  2 місяці тому +1

      "Love is a repetitive daily virtuous choice." I like your choice of words. Thank you.

  • @chuntathecat4222
    @chuntathecat4222 5 місяців тому +141

    If he cheats he’s for the streets 😅🤣🤣🤣

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 5 місяців тому +6

      Agreed!

    • @LoveLife-oo9cz
      @LoveLife-oo9cz 5 місяців тому +6

      😅😅😅. Those men are always for the streets lol.

    • @edp3202
      @edp3202 4 місяці тому +1

      Says Dr. Seuss. 😂

    • @manzchello4752
      @manzchello4752 2 місяці тому +2

      Everyone is a player if they can get away with it

    • @chuntathecat4222
      @chuntathecat4222 2 місяці тому

      @@manzchello4752 not someone who is real with themselves

  • @Joo20231
    @Joo20231 5 місяців тому +78

    If you fall out of love why not just leave 😅 that simple!

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 5 місяців тому +5

      It’s really not that simple there’s usually children involved, a house to sell, an actual divorce process, which is expensive…

    • @Joo20231
      @Joo20231 5 місяців тому +3

      @@Gotoworkkk so just try to relive your love then if you can not go through this process ... what life showed me is nobody is special , nobody is someone s soulmate , we create a bond with someone and we can uncounciously or deliberaltely break it ... even after living with a new person you will experience the same because falling out of love is within the person and he will keep do it with everybody , quitting is his way to keep up with a life challenge ... And I am not talking about toxic and psychopatic behaviours because if your partner is too toxic you should leave then .

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому

      @@Gotoworkkk It is that simple. You men make more money, you will be fine. Unlike her.

    • @ddnn959
      @ddnn959 6 днів тому

      Because man mostly like to seat on two seats, to have safe spot untill feeling the other option out untill that option becomes firm than they leave- that is why women get shocked when suddenly are left after thinking they are in fairly good relationship
      Long explanation short- Because they are more selfish

  • @alefaj.afalava8090
    @alefaj.afalava8090 5 місяців тому +38

    Thank you for this! A married man I used to work with actually reached back out to me to see if I would be someone he would cheat with. He and I used to be friends at that job, and it sucked to learn that he was being unfaithful to his partner of 10 years. But I told him no, and wished him the best

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  5 місяців тому +10

      Much respect to you for making that decision.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 5 місяців тому +1

      I have had that happen too! They want a sugar baby! 😂. See ya and so gross

    • @JKNat9004
      @JKNat9004 5 місяців тому

      Good choice!

    • @victorial5141
      @victorial5141 4 місяці тому

      As u should

  • @ShopgirlNY182
    @ShopgirlNY182 4 місяці тому +9

    When I found out my ex was going behind my back and I asked him about it he said “we should take a break, you’re questioning things, I’m hiding things from you and trust is at an all time low.” I said, “we shouldn’t take a break, we should just break up.”

  • @dreylane
    @dreylane 5 місяців тому +42

    You cant "steal" a man who wants to cheat. Put the blame on the cheater! The cheater ruined his home.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 5 місяців тому

      This!!!! ❤❤❤ women get dumb and blame women!!!! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

    • @ΘΘΝΘ-β5ξ
      @ΘΘΝΘ-β5ξ 10 днів тому

      But getting with someone, knowing that they already have a partner is not okay either

  • @TheDiamondEdge1
    @TheDiamondEdge1 5 місяців тому +22

    If you’re single, probably best to stay single rather than waste time and end up being cheated on. 🙄

  • @desireeperham7093
    @desireeperham7093 5 місяців тому +13

    Because (for many, obvious reasons), we doubt our feelings and instincts all the time. 😢

  • @KaiyaKN26
    @KaiyaKN26 5 місяців тому +11

    I'm so shocked that women are more likely to ask a friend for advice on whether she should stay with the person she's with or not after he has cheated. That's putting an immense amount of trust in your friend over your own judgement. I mean it is always nice to have selected friends but to trust them to that level over your own understanding and over your own mindset is crazy and I just would not do that. I feel I can make the best decision for myself and no one can understand my needs and my own values more than I can. If I was confused I think asking or seeking help from a relationship coach is better than asking a friend as your friend might be biased or implement their own thoughts into their advice.
    Anyhow, a huge Thank you, Ismael, for your continued advice and guidance for us all. It is always enlightening to watch your videos.

    • @user-dv9xx3yy8v
      @user-dv9xx3yy8v 5 місяців тому +1

      Right, the friend's own thoughts based on what they would do if they were on that situation as well or based on their experiences. They want you to follow what they would have done.

    • @tanyamadgwik7482
      @tanyamadgwik7482 4 місяці тому

      Thank you so much….🙏🌸🩵

  • @INOD-2
    @INOD-2 5 місяців тому +22

    Says women tend to listen to their friends about whether to leave or stay, so "You'd better make sure you have amazing friends who give you healthy advice so you don't destroy your relationship." Well, the MAN destroyed the relationship when he cheated, so not sure the friends' opinion matters....

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  5 місяців тому +1

      This was reported by men and women that their friends and family's opinion influenced the decision.

  • @astridhanl4861
    @astridhanl4861 5 місяців тому +1

    This first quote hals my heart so much! I wrote it down and have it inside a book for weak days, wh n I feel like I was replaced for not being enough or wrong. I've been and am practicing on letting it go and leave the betrayal and lying and secrets where they belong: with him. His issues. His insecurities. And practicing to dermanticise him and get him off this podium where I put him by loving him but also what he shows to the outside world. A fit, strong , passionate, positive, eager r guy that lives his life and moved on. But ppl who r good with themselves don't hurt their partners and themselves how he did. I will be so hurt to see him move on his ith someone else, it still triggers me so much to see him with other women and not only did he bring am my trust in him and love per se, but also in other women who never deserve d this. So I love that quote. Because if someone lies and cheats, he will do it again. And you couldn't have stopped them. It's not you. And you do not want this.

  • @jennifergonzalez7005
    @jennifergonzalez7005 3 місяці тому +1

    My husband cheated on me. Knowing them well, I asked 2 friends for advice; the one who I knew would tell me to leave AND the one I knew would tell me to stay. Immediately after finding out, I knew I wasn't in any way to look at the situation objectively. Ultimately, I chose to enforce the boundary that I wouldn't be a backup relationship so if he wanted to be with her then he should go. I caught him a month later at her house and kicked him out. We are still married but separated. There was a tragic loss just before his affair... Not an excuse.... We lost our 4 year old nephew who we were both super close to. I chose therapy to work through the grief, he did not. I've separated the behavior from the person and we get along pretty well. We also have 4 children together (3 are adults, 1 teen) so there is a parenting relationship here as well. Tough stuff to be sure. Thanks for making the videos easy to listen to. I haven't multitasked through any of them...yet.

    • @IcecreamdreamChocolate-u7d
      @IcecreamdreamChocolate-u7d 15 днів тому

      Wait till the youngest becomes an adult and then leave. Most men will never forgive a cheating wife so we shouldn't forgive a cheating husband

  • @SushmaSinha-m7d
    @SushmaSinha-m7d 5 місяців тому +10

    Its not that ,they cheat with other women ,talk hours with other women,but for their wife they dont even have a second 😢

  • @WashoeValleyCollies
    @WashoeValleyCollies 5 місяців тому +3

    Wow, that's honesty! Appreciate your youthful wisdom! 😯

  • @AndyRoyal-y2y
    @AndyRoyal-y2y 5 місяців тому +13

    MEN CHEAT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO, NO OTHER REASON....😢....

    • @edp3202
      @edp3202 4 місяці тому +1

      👍 make them be adults.

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому

      Exactly

  • @spoiledwitch82
    @spoiledwitch82 5 місяців тому +5

    Remember though that with a narcissist they don't show their true colors for fear of rejection. They tell you great morals n value they have n preach a good game but what it seems is not what you get. Lol I don't think anyone would choose to take a chance on them if they were transparent from the start.
    I know some people like to cheat for funzies but I tell people I date at any time if you don't wanna be with me all you gotta do is tell me n it's fine. Simply I'm not gonna beg someone to stay if they don't wanna be with me.

  • @RR-kv1zj
    @RR-kv1zj 5 місяців тому +9

    Thank you thank you so much Ismael for this video. I told you right, that my trainer cheats girls by flirting them and make them spend money for him

  • @pariadavoudian4849
    @pariadavoudian4849 5 місяців тому +4

    Thanks a million it’s great ❤❤

  • @wandawolfe8665
    @wandawolfe8665 3 місяці тому

    I have come across your presentations quite by accident. And I must say that I am very impressed with you and the information you present. You are precise, concise and to the point. I have gained some valuable information from your comments. You are well groomed, smartly attired and very well spoken. I look forward to listening to other presentation by you. Thank you and greetings from a Polish Australian.

  • @ndyndy2785
    @ndyndy2785 5 місяців тому +104

    Sinful nature ,not Fearing God.

    • @DavidTallent-i8v
      @DavidTallent-i8v 5 місяців тому

      So people should be good out fear. You are a moron.

    • @joycarhartt
      @joycarhartt 4 місяці тому +3

      So you must fear that Ghost in the sky in order to have a meaningful relationship? Bull

    • @joycarhartt
      @joycarhartt 4 місяці тому +1

      Nothing new ,,,that happened millions of years ago, man mated with as many women as he possibly could ,,,without any fear of any man made Religion , it was to keep the cycle going,,,,

    • @ednakirkland1706
      @ednakirkland1706 3 місяці тому +1

      Amen sister

    • @Trauveria
      @Trauveria 3 місяці тому

      You are Not living in Past years.. In the 10 Commandment said: Thou shalt NOT Commit Adultery, Cheating is a form of Adultery that God's Most Hates.
      You better Read the Book my Friend so you have the knowledge. ​@@joycarhartt

  • @snehalkalkhair4014
    @snehalkalkhair4014 Місяць тому +1

    The point you mentioned about the men who goes to church or has a religious beliefs tends to cheat less I don't know should I agree with this statement or not I am an atheist and the 4 people I dated 3 of them cheated on me and the 4th guy who was an atheist ...was the loyal one..I don't think so we should determine why do ppl cheat.. on this parameters..and not only men it's about woman too loyal man and woman will never cheat even if they aren't religious or are religious....people with some ethics and boundaries are likely not to cheat on their partners...recently I came across with one belief of my friend's friend that before marriage if he is in a serious relationship which includes commitment too still he has a right to sleep with other woman before marriage but after marriage he said I'll be loyal to my wife before marriage I can't say if I find other woman attractive I'll still have a physical relationship with her...and I was so shocked to hear that statement. If person cheat once there is no point in keeping that person in our life even if he beg...

  • @1trueloveforever
    @1trueloveforever 5 місяців тому +1

    Wish I had realised this when I was 18 but I appreciate it now and I know better .

  • @Nataliexgiselle
    @Nataliexgiselle 3 місяці тому

    Great video!! thanks

  • @MarinaM-o6p
    @MarinaM-o6p 5 місяців тому +13

    “ variety “ …every single woman has the same 🕳️ ….so what variety ??? And if a man likes this he needs NOT TO MARRY …..SIMPLE .

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 5 місяців тому +4

      AGREED!

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 5 місяців тому

      Easier said than done.

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому

      @@Gotoworkkk Sexist and wrong. Typical horrible man

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому

      @@Gotoworkkk That's why I am done with men.

  • @Fairgreentube
    @Fairgreentube 5 місяців тому +4

    Sadly, narcissism is very prevalent in our society.
    There are very few secure attached personality styles in the world due to majority of people have not had their emotional needs met.
    It’s extremely important to get to know people on an authentic basis.
    This takes years. It’s one of the reasons why high school, sweetheart relationships tend to last longer.
    These people are in the same school building for four years together they get to know each other authentically for who they are, and not for who they want to be seen as.
    When you get to authentically know somebody, you have a better idea of what their core values are based on their actions and behaviors, instead of their words.
    If the core values that are most important to you align with their most important values, then you have compatibility.
    Chemistry is just sexual desire. There is a difference between being in love, and being in limerence. Here’s an example:
    Core values for Compatibility:
    -Safety (are you able to be authentic)
    -Integrity (do the right thing when alone)
    -Consistency (reliable)
    -Transparency (able to share anything without fear of judgement)
    -Accountability (able to have adult conversations)
    -Self awareness (emotionally intelligent)
    Core values for Chemistry:
    -Self care (good hygiene)
    -Presentation (humbleness)
    -Intimacy awareness (able to read the room)
    -Good sense of humor (knows how to relax)
    Over a period of time all of these questions will be answered through actions and behaviors instead of words from someone you just met.

  • @GloriaKumbon
    @GloriaKumbon 4 місяці тому

    Thanks for your advice😊😊😊😊❤❤❤

  • @catharineclendening3660
    @catharineclendening3660 5 місяців тому +1

    I love your view on this.

  • @Bertina-f9t
    @Bertina-f9t Місяць тому

    Your the best,u teach me a lot of things..thank u.from Tanzania.

  • @alchemylab933
    @alchemylab933 3 місяці тому +1

    The reason that some women "work his infidelity out" may be: 1. laziness - well once or here or there, he can't infect me because we don't have it anyway, 2. woman cheats, but much more precautiously and she doesn't want to disturb the dust , 3. she wanted to cheat but psychological reasons didn't permit, now she has the right to do the same.

  • @Gotoworkkk
    @Gotoworkkk 5 місяців тому +8

    I personally feel like some men get married and don’t realize that the excitement eventually ends.
    Usually, the women pressure them to get married to begin with or else they will leave. Then there’s excitement of the wedding and then she wants lots of sex and babies. That’s pretty much the end of women wanting intimacy for the most part. Things get boring and the struggle of every day gets real.
    Men start missing the variety that other women offer & opportunity, presents itself to the husband… obviously divorce would be the right thing to do but it entails children, the house, splitting assets and child support for the man… that’s when things get sticky with cheating.

    • @Challenger2A7
      @Challenger2A7 4 місяці тому +2

      Right on. I also believe that many men get to an age (25 to 35?) when they think they ought to get married so they marry a decent woman they already know, even if they aren't in love with her, but, hey, she was right there in front of him. A few years later the sh*t hits the fan.

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому

      Men don't want intimacy, they want sex. So what's wrong? Then let her leave! You do have a choice! DON'T MARRY THEN!!

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому

      I'm done with men. You guys suck.

  • @levymalikebu1813
    @levymalikebu1813 Місяць тому +4

    As of now I'm a man away from my wife in a foreign country where I stayed for 5 years now and I have never once had any affair with another woman. I respect myself so much that cheating is the last thing I will do in my life. For me, it is not worth the risk to have other affairs when I know how my wife will feel if she finds out. I love my wife and she is enough for me. What can another woman offer me that my wife never gave me? She accepted me to be her husband and why should I betray her? Having sexual feelings for other women is never an excuse to cheat. A real gentle man who loves his wife cannot come close to do such an evil act. A man who is not disciplined in this area is dangerous and can cause havoc in his family and other families . I have so much to lose if I engage myself in these sexual relationships with other women as I will disrespect myself, family members, friends and mostly my wife. Sexual desire to other women is more powerful and enticing but deadly if you fall for it. Avoid it at all costs. It's not worth it. Stupid men do that and finally stupidily apologize to their wives saying that they were not thinking straight. Pathetic. Finally, I don't respect men who are promiscuous, they are deadly like snakes.

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 5 місяців тому +2

    Never look for a guy that has money and he’s absolutely good looking look for character only and that’s it and a good

  • @WildandFree4
    @WildandFree4 Місяць тому +2

    4B 🎉

  • @stephanielopiccolo8518
    @stephanielopiccolo8518 5 місяців тому +8

    You didn't blink once, Or look down Or aside, UNTIL you said that YOU never cheated. Lol. Hmm??? Just saying. Anyway, on a lighter note.. Thank you as always, for keeping it real. 👍

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  5 місяців тому +6

      Do I hear a conspiracy theory forming? haha

    • @cherylmiller7603
      @cherylmiller7603 5 місяців тому +1

      There is now some consensus in psychology that directional gaze doesn't particularly reflect truth or lie telling, kind of like they used to say that people were looking to the left when talking about the past or to the right when talking about the future. Each person is different. Also, one can't create an 8-minute video without blinking once. Statistically we blink 14-17 times per minute.

  • @purplesky3743
    @purplesky3743 4 місяці тому +9

    Moral of the story is, men just want an excuse to cheat😂

  • @gul7675
    @gul7675 5 місяців тому +5

    in conclusion if he cheats hes for the trash

  • @MsCooper75
    @MsCooper75 2 місяці тому

    28 years together, and I don't know how many times he cheated on me. Good luck to his new supply.

  • @miatrunnell8272
    @miatrunnell8272 17 днів тому

    i’ve been married for 28 yrs and my husband is a cheater with his old co worker 😢

  • @wilmalay32
    @wilmalay32 4 місяці тому +4

    Only being in love with Jesus is the answer, He alone satisfies us!❤

  • @sharonjacobs3799
    @sharonjacobs3799 16 днів тому

    i dont care nooooo more,,,,,,,,,,damage already been done and over with......im staying single ,,,,and stress freeeeeeee

  • @paulasmithson3741
    @paulasmithson3741 4 місяці тому

    😢

  • @glamberkitten
    @glamberkitten 5 місяців тому +3

    Do you still have to worry when they are 79 years old? 😮

    • @reenujose4937
      @reenujose4937 5 місяців тому +2

      Yes. They seek green pastures

    • @kaysmith5495
      @kaysmith5495 5 місяців тому +1

      No, they can’t get it up at that age.

    • @Atom-56
      @Atom-56 5 місяців тому

      @@kaysmith5495 Err……Mick Jagger springs to mind…..he must have a never ending supply of blue pills.

    • @NadiaNadia-tn4tl
      @NadiaNadia-tn4tl 5 місяців тому

      YES.... My grand father was that age and unfaithful to my grand mother 😲😞

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 5 місяців тому

      Always

  • @rachangel1951
    @rachangel1951 5 місяців тому +3

    Why is irrelevant.

  • @bakyghanem1497
    @bakyghanem1497 Місяць тому

    You are great Ismael..I am a muslim woman and I learn from you.

  • @Louis-wc2zy
    @Louis-wc2zy 5 місяців тому +6

    You're forgetting the fact that a good proportion of women don't want to be held accountable, so it is less likely they'll admit to cheating. They will instead say their partner was not satisfying them or they weren't happy, so they did what they did, and won't label it as cheating. That's how you will find a difference in the percentage of cheaters- 20% men and 13% women who claimed they had cheated. I'm not saying men don't cheat, they do, but women have more options in the dating sphere, and as you know more option someone has, more chances of infidelity. But, having said that, you will find cheaters in both genders.
    So, it's important to choose a person with strong moral values, who maintains integrity and healthy boundaries.

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  5 місяців тому

      That's a great point. Thanks for your comment.

    • @daniellegore9279
      @daniellegore9279 5 місяців тому +2

      Women are less likely to admit to cheating because of the stigma so instead of asking there was this study of how easy it is for a women to get a married man vs a man to get a married women. Women usually don’t crave variety the same way men do so they don’t cheat as much.

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому +1

      Sexist, take a look at yourself. Men cheat more than women buddy.

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 5 місяців тому +3

    I dislike when people say they fall out of love!!! No such thing!

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 5 місяців тому

      It’s absolutely true!

  • @WingLife-u7k
    @WingLife-u7k 3 місяці тому

    Is that a fact

  • @lyndamcmullen5506
    @lyndamcmullen5506 5 місяців тому

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @karendina1284
    @karendina1284 5 місяців тому +4

    Is not always a question of infidelity. Maybe that men or woman wants somethingelse, that the wife or husband Can not longer provide.
    It is “old fashion”, imposed by old rules of society that have nothing to do with reality that the marriage or partnership should last forever

    • @GadisBaliLivesAbroad
      @GadisBaliLivesAbroad 5 місяців тому +3

      If someone is not happy in a relationship or marriage, it's time to communicate that to a partner. If it can't be fixed, then break up properly, not cheat. Cheating implies, someone is not too afraid to be alone and hold on to a failed and unhappy relationship until they find someone else without the knowledge of their partner. There is no honor in cheating. It's a cowardly move. It goes to show us what a mentally weak person someone is.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 5 місяців тому +1

      Your sick!! leaves the relationship don’t cheat

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 5 місяців тому

      @@GadisBaliLivesAbroadagreed! It shows how sick they are morally weak. We have a lot of weak men and women in this world.

  • @streaming5332
    @streaming5332 5 місяців тому +1

    No, women stay for money. There are plenty of golddiggers.

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому

      Wrong, sexist. You have issues with women, money and yourself to work on

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 5 місяців тому +6

    This is why MONEY is a BAD thing for women to look at!!! Stupid!!! Money and good looks make me super skeptical!

    • @edp3202
      @edp3202 4 місяці тому

      It's the spirit, behavior she needs to look at.

  • @carolinew9964
    @carolinew9964 25 днів тому

    So far it's their size and lack of confidence? Interesting, I think there will be a need for sexual therapists

  • @jackdeniston6150
    @jackdeniston6150 5 місяців тому +1

    He cheated because you destroyed the relationship.

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 3 місяці тому +1

      Sexist and wrong. How did she? Hm? NO, he did!!

    • @chelseashamim9148
      @chelseashamim9148 Місяць тому

      Keep that same energy when women cheat on men

  • @ETERNALEDUCATIONNETWORK
    @ETERNALEDUCATIONNETWORK 3 місяці тому

    I cheated my ex gf not for another women but for my career - I'm now a doctor then turned a state pcs officer. I've money power influence knowledge career reputation status and i really love it ... I'm happy I've cheated...

  • @yournextdoorgamerwithgames2945
    @yournextdoorgamerwithgames2945 Місяць тому

    99% the women stopped putting out or caring about him.
    Women chat more than men.

    • @IcecreamdreamChocolate-u7d
      @IcecreamdreamChocolate-u7d 15 днів тому +1

      As long as women can use that same excuse when we cheat. Men stopped rising to the occasion and can't get it up or stop caring about us so we cheat. Is that ok now?