2:52 - need based relationships are the worst, not only in dating, but also in friendship as well. I stopped talking to a lot of people from my life because they had more interested in what I could do for them instead of having an actual friendship, and it is honestly better to treat them as acquaintances, the closest people to me are from my family, I often feel very lonely but I remember all the toxicity some "friends" made me pass through and this makes my loneliness became solitude
@user you meant intentionally. We can hurt the most the people we love the most, simply because humans make mistakes, those that are closest are directly in the path of that, we also hurt ourselves the most by hurting those we love the most. Life is a learning process, and love overcomes mistakes, it's the most powerful of the two.
@@ashton1952 ….again …if a man truly cares and loves a woman …..HE WILL NEVER HURT HER …..THIS IS THE ONLY TRUTH . WOMEN SHOULD STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR MEN’ S CARELESS BAD BEHAVIORS EVER ….
I love your content, Ismael. Nice job!❤ To answer your last question, I think that love starts as a feeling but becomes a choice when you commit to nurturing that feeling or, vice versa, killing it. You can’t help falling in love with someone but you can distance yourself from that person and slowly move on if you want to or need to.
I believe love just happens we don't choose who we love. My marriage was a choice and ended decades later. Then the pandemic hit and I met a lovely man...We waited a few years (long distance) to meet, me last summer and stayed in contact. I fell immediately ❤. We met again in the wintertime and then he canceled last minute for whatever reason. When I called him out on this he didn't like what I said. I think it was then he lost interest and after a few months of chatting he finally decided (spring time) we weren't the right fit. I'm devastated but he just got a promotion and ended it. So I refuse to stay friends. My standards are high and I'm too old for games. Thanks Ismael for making these videos.
He loved me until I got ill, then he started looking at young women and after 53 years he told me, I want something different. NOT YOU! I helped him beat stage 4 cancer of the liver and colon.
Can we chose who we fall in love with? I don't think so. I've had it creep up on me and for men that haven't treated me well. We can, however, choose wither to take their crap. I am spiritualist, and I believe we incarnate with the same people life time after life time. Its already agreed before we incarnate who we will meet and marry, within certan boundaries. I've certainly met several men that I would call soul mates and felt a past life connection with. Im actually battling one right now having come out of a toxic relationship, there is an intense attraction, but his behaviour is very concerning to me, so much so, I am keeping my distance.
# 6, and most important, the woman shows a lack of respect for her man. He can love her deeply but if she can't control her tongue or respect a request or boundary he has made of her, he will leave regardless of how much it hurts him. A normal man cannot be with a woman he feels doesn't respect him.
You are very right on this. It happens to me. He came in to my life when he has nothing. I was there for him full time. When he finally made it. He went to another woman that did not add anything to he's life. And I work away
Mine Narcissistic Abuse...and the grass was greener on the other side after all I did for him raised his 2 boys, made sure he didn't die from a stroke and 9 months of recovery from open heart surgery 30 yrs wasted ..it was all about him wham bam the red flags were always there from what I hear he us not happy at all surprised not at all..but I will never waste a day ever again as he has tried to reach out Block block and block!!!
Id suggest that all of these reasons apply equally to women. They were the death of my relationship, but he took me for granted thinking I'd never leave him. I remember the exact day I fell out of love with him. The only reason I stayed was because I thought it was better that my son had 2 parents and so long as we could get along, I tolerated a lot. Until I became ill, then I was a burden to him. The marriage vows only ever went one way, in his favour. My son even more psychology damaged than if id have left my x when my son was a young child.
My answer to your question is both. It depends on the perspective of the person and how he/ she used his/her emotions and intellect in both occasion 😊❤.
Unfortunately, you can't help who you fall in love with. The heart wants what it wants, even if it's toxic. HOWEVER, you choose whether to pursue love or abandon it. Abandoning what you know will be unhealthy is difficult and yet so REWARDING if you love yourself first. ❤
Long term love is not just about "feelings." Very often, love is a choice one makes to love the other person regardless if the emotion of love is present or not. This is the reality that many people refuse to accept. Even if all you have is respect, the potential to have ALL the elements of love are possible if the couple are committed to intentionally behaving in a loving manner.
i believe we can control who we fall in love with. In my early twenties, i was immature and fell in love with guys purely based on feelings and instincts, without thinking what am I getting myself into. Now that I am forty, and still single, I realise that loving someone is not only about what you feel for them, but also how they make you feel, their level of attachment and commitment. So it is a gradual process of understanding the other person and developing shared interest in building a relationship together.
Thanks for the video🙏🏻 To ur question at the end of the video: I think it's both. At the beginning maybe love needs to based on something (e.g. an appreciation, respect, attraction, etc. or a combination of things) & love can grow. Definitely, because no relationship is perfect & always happiness/sunny days, to keep a relationship going, during the challenging times, people need to *choose* love, *choose* their partner above all others "in sickness & in health, for richer for poor" No one said relationships are easy, no one said choosing ur love & each other is easy, & I think that's a lot of the reason for the break ups/divorces
you do choose, but not necessary with your head. sometimes you are looking for qualities a person can poses, instead of looking for loving that person. this is where things do not last. this is where people choose to fall in love, because those qualities that the other has, you find them good for you.(mindful /head choice). heart choice s when you see attraction, or you feel physically drawn to them. so you decide that you like them. and when things change between you too, then you choose to not like it. its not intentionally head choice. its how we are programmed to be. we are ok when we approve of something.
I have a question for you Ismael ! Do you ever see yourself getting married or are you too particular ? Some men are too particular to ever get married. They get bored easy and have very high expectations. You strike me as that type of person. Anyway. I enjoy your videos. Very intelligent, helpful and thought provoking information
@@SaveTheMessenger That's awesome. Although it might be difficult to find that type of person in California. Anyway. Best wishes from the great state of Tennessee
2:52 age for women is like height for men - it's something that can't change. can't complain about gold digger if you only look for younger, the younger will want your money. well at least for me Im not straight, if it doesn't work with one gender it will work with the other :)
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2:52 - need based relationships are the worst, not only in dating, but also in friendship as well. I stopped talking to a lot of people from my life because they had more interested in what I could do for them instead of having an actual friendship, and it is honestly better to treat them as acquaintances, the closest people to me are from my family, I often feel very lonely but I remember all the toxicity some "friends" made me pass through and this makes my loneliness became solitude
IF A MAN TRULLY LOVES A WOMAN HE WILL NEVER HURT HER .🫵🏻
I have to amend that statement and put in "intentionally".
Negative you are very wrong!
@@jey.Account you really should identify who your talking to. Because if your talking to me; your an idiot! Well ALL mess up at times.
@user you meant intentionally. We can hurt the most the people we love the most, simply because humans make mistakes, those that are closest are directly in the path of that, we also hurt ourselves the most by hurting those we love the most. Life is a learning process, and love overcomes mistakes, it's the most powerful of the two.
@@ashton1952 ….again …if a man truly cares and loves a woman …..HE WILL NEVER HURT HER …..THIS IS THE ONLY TRUTH . WOMEN SHOULD STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR MEN’ S CARELESS BAD BEHAVIORS EVER ….
I don't believe men leave women they truly love. They actually make sacrifices and make it work to keep the woman if they truly love her
I love your content, Ismael. Nice job!❤ To answer your last question, I think that love starts as a feeling but becomes a choice when you commit to nurturing that feeling or, vice versa, killing it. You can’t help falling in love with someone but you can distance yourself from that person and slowly move on if you want to or need to.
Love your answer. I agree wholeheartedly.
You missed one. He doesn't want "the other woman" to find out. Get real, will you?
I believe love just happens we don't choose who we love. My marriage was a choice and ended decades later. Then the pandemic hit and I met a lovely man...We waited a few years (long distance) to meet, me last summer and stayed in contact. I fell immediately ❤. We met again in the wintertime and then he canceled last minute for whatever reason. When I called him out on this he didn't like what I said. I think it was then he lost interest and after a few months of chatting he finally decided (spring time) we weren't the right fit. I'm devastated but he just got a promotion and ended it. So I refuse to stay friends. My standards are high and I'm too old for games. Thanks Ismael for making these videos.
He loved me until I got ill, then he started looking at young women and after 53 years he told me, I want something different. NOT YOU! I helped him beat stage 4 cancer of the liver and colon.
😮
I've heard this quite a few times, I had something very similar to me...❤❤
Can we chose who we fall in love with? I don't think so. I've had it creep up on me and for men that haven't treated me well. We can, however, choose wither to take their crap.
I am spiritualist, and I believe we incarnate with the same people life time after life time. Its already agreed before we incarnate who we will meet and marry, within certan boundaries. I've certainly met several men that I would call soul mates and felt a past life connection with. Im actually battling one right now having come out of a toxic relationship, there is an intense attraction, but his behaviour is very concerning to me, so much so, I am keeping my distance.
So...we can never win....
The path to success is never a direct short line.. same with love it seems. Some folks were lucky but it's rare.
# 6, and most important, the woman shows a lack of respect for her man. He can love her deeply but if she can't control her tongue or respect a request or boundary he has made of her, he will leave regardless of how much it hurts him. A normal man cannot be with a woman he feels doesn't respect him.
Men will cheat even when u respect them necause the other woman is hot. Wake up
I like your content but I think a lot of guys u describing sound more like your guys - boys in their heart perhaps 🤔
Exactly, except for "building" something the rest of the reasons describe boys, not men. The content video contradicts the headline.
No, love is not a choice! I don’t believe you can look at someone and say “I’m going to choose to love this person.
You are very right on this. It happens to me. He came in to my life when he has nothing. I was there for him full time. When he finally made it. He went to another woman that did not add anything to he's life. And I work away
Happens to me all the time too 😢
Falling in love isn't a choice, staying in it is!
@SaveTheMessenger4 and you are?
I would want to know what happened to the guy you coached who stayed with the girl for intimacy
Needs based and shared based... I've always been aware of these tendencies but never knew how to describe it. Good to know.
looking at the number of likes, women do not understand that this is true.
Mine Narcissistic Abuse...and the grass was greener on the other side after all I did for him raised his 2 boys, made sure he didn't die from a stroke and 9 months of recovery from open heart surgery 30 yrs wasted ..it was all about him wham bam the red flags were always there from what I hear he us not happy at all surprised not at all..but I will never waste a day ever again as he has tried to reach out Block block and block!!!
Wallahi you are talking of a true story,iam loosing hope in men😊
Cheating will get him to leave...
Because he cheats
As a married man of 40 years
This guy is full of B.S
Id suggest that all of these reasons apply equally to women. They were the death of my relationship, but he took me for granted thinking I'd never leave him. I remember the exact day I fell out of love with him. The only reason I stayed was because I thought it was better that my son had 2 parents and so long as we could get along, I tolerated a lot. Until I became ill, then I was a burden to him. The marriage vows only ever went one way, in his favour.
My son even more psychology damaged than if id have left my x when my son was a young child.
It really puts me off listening if he says "okay beautiful". It is such a condescending term, unless it comes from someone who loves you.
My answer to your question is both. It depends on the perspective of the person and how he/ she used his/her emotions and intellect in both occasion 😊❤.
Thank you so much for this information.good job.
Unfortunately, you can't help who you fall in love with. The heart wants what it wants, even if it's toxic. HOWEVER, you choose whether to pursue love or abandon it. Abandoning what you know will be unhealthy is difficult and yet so REWARDING if you love yourself first. ❤
Long term love is not just about "feelings."
Very often, love is a choice one makes to love the other person regardless if the emotion of love is present or not.
This is the reality that many people refuse to accept. Even if all you have is respect, the potential to have ALL the elements of love are possible if the couple are committed to intentionally behaving in a loving manner.
i believe we can control who we fall in love with. In my early twenties, i was immature and fell in love with guys purely based on feelings and instincts, without thinking what am I getting myself into. Now that I am forty, and still single, I realise that loving someone is not only about what you feel for them, but also how they make you feel, their level of attachment and commitment. So it is a gradual process of understanding the other person and developing shared interest in building a relationship together.
Thanks for the video🙏🏻
To ur question at the end of the video:
I think it's both.
At the beginning maybe love needs to based on something (e.g. an appreciation, respect, attraction, etc. or a combination of things) & love can grow.
Definitely, because no relationship is perfect & always happiness/sunny days, to keep a relationship going, during the challenging times, people need to *choose* love, *choose* their partner above all others "in sickness & in health, for richer for poor"
No one said relationships are easy, no one said choosing ur love & each other is easy, & I think that's a lot of the reason for the break ups/divorces
Now, I understood why he left me.
Really liking your content!
Love is both choice and a feeling that u cants control. It js both.
all the things you said are the things toxic people do to me
everyone can do anything they want but i prefer to broke up with this person
9:45 it's definitely a choice 👌
I believe that we plan to meet n fall in love, but we don't know who it will be with.
I love your UA-cam contents. You are such a good speaker.
Thank You❤
I have a question my husband said he loves me and care about me but wants to leave but he still keeps kissing and cuddling me why
Don't let him kiss or touch you anymore, he only does it because you allow it. Stop and you will see if he comes back or leaves
@@WorstDruidEU last night he out of the blue snoged and he is meant to be in a new relationship but he won't tell her
I don't think we get to choose who we fall in love with.
you do choose, but not necessary with your head. sometimes you are looking for qualities a person can poses, instead of looking for loving that person. this is where things do not last. this is where people choose to fall in love, because those qualities that the other has, you find them good for you.(mindful /head choice). heart choice s when you see attraction, or you feel physically drawn to them. so you decide that you like them. and when things change between you too, then you choose to not like it. its not intentionally head choice. its how we are programmed to be. we are ok when we approve of something.
Men cant love genuinely or unconditionally
I have a question for you Ismael ! Do you ever see yourself getting married or are you too particular ? Some men are too particular to ever get married. They get bored easy and have very high expectations. You strike me as that type of person. Anyway. I enjoy your videos. Very intelligent, helpful and thought provoking information
I believe in marriage and building a beautiful home where your children can grow and prosper. That's my goal.
@@SaveTheMessenger That's awesome. Although it might be difficult to find that type of person in California. Anyway. Best wishes from the great state of Tennessee
Thanks ❤
Thanks ❤🎉
Listening to learn English ❤
@SaveTheMessenger4 I don't get it, discuss about what??! ................
Ya
2:52 age for women is like height for men - it's something that can't change. can't complain about gold digger if you only look for younger, the younger will want your money. well at least for me Im not straight, if it doesn't work with one gender it will work with the other :)