I LOVE hearing other neurodivergent folks tell me the specific ways they're adapting their homes to suit their needs. Like, you could make a 20 minute video just describing why you arranged the items on your kitchen counter in the exact way you did, and I'd watch the whole thing.
I think that the best space accomodation i've done for myself is having a bed in my living room, i used to do everything in my "sleeping bed" and i feel quite uncomfortable sitting on anything else (i think i just need a large soft space that allows me to sit and lay down in any weird position that i want) Having another bed instead of a couch is a big game changer for me (also english isn't my native language, idk if i'm properly explaining myself)
@@Maiden_Warrior_Crone I think it is brilliant. I asked if we could put a daybed type couch in the living room and my mom hated that idea, but if I lived alone again I would totally do it. :)
@@denisedarland3345 Totally. Should we put this on a list of things we want when we have our own space?😂 I need to lie down a LOT so a daybed sounds like the best idea ever! I'm going to look at some online now. Thank you for the idea! 😁
As a single person, I rent a 2B place and have a little yoga/relaxation room. Without the visible reminder of my yoga mat, I won’t exercise which in turn makes me super dysregulated. Cold is also dysregulating to me in the winter and I have social anxiety at the gym. Having my own space for movement and relaxation removes these barriers for me and it is a luxury I feel lucky to afford, even though neurotypical people don’t understand it.
Having a 2nd room for yoga & excerise was my dream!! I have a 1 bed flat and have made it work as best I can to do wellbeing. Good for you for knowing what u need to do to take care of yourself and double good for u for being grateful for what u got! Wish u the best ✌️
One of the biggest accomadations I made is lighting. First I changed all the lightbulbs and added multiple different light sources, even candles. I also noticed that if I have a live candle instead of a lamp when I'm about to go to bed I get sleepier, I'm guessing its because of natural vs artificial lighting. In addition to this I placed my desk directly infront of my window. It's helped with productivity so much bc not only getting sunlight, but I'm also hearing the birds outside and if my brain wants stimulus then I can have a short glance outside and look at nature. Another big accomidation for me was customization. As an autsistc person I often get really annoyed if something isnt excatly the way I want it so I've given myself the freedom to paint and customize my surroundings no matter what others might think of my choices. This includes changing outlet covers, painting walls, furiture and trimm, reupolstering seats & changing out the handels on my doors. Its made a big difference in how calm I feel in my space.
I thought I was dumb when I said that I don’t like these orangy-yellow lights in most houses, but I liked the lights turned off & a candle turned on. It sort of has the same color, but one is softer and I just discovered that I hate bright lights in general lol.
Lighting is a huge struggle for me. In the winter especially, it's horrible, I spend hours laying down with eyes closed because I can't stand the light but I also don't want to turn it off because it's not time to go to bed yet. I just waste all my nights doing that. I don't want to use candles because I don't want to risk a fire. But I fail to find lightbulbs that make a pleasant lighting.. Is it the numbers of Watts? the color of the light spectrum? the type of bulb (LED, halogen..)? should I get a dimmer? or is it because the bulb is naked and I should get a fixture (? luminaire? I don't know the word in english) ? If anyone has tips with that...
@@clayjug4893 Hi Clay! Here are some tips that might help in your quest for better lighting: When you buy a lightbulb the two most important things to look at is the Lumens and the Colour of the light. Lumens is the brightness of the light itself. Two lightbulbs can have the same amount of Watts (power requierment) but have a very different Lumens (brightness). The amount of Lumens should be stated on the back of the packaging. For reference the average lightbulb is between 800-1,100 Lumens. Anything below 400 Lumens is considered low light, you'll be able to see and walk around but it would be difficult to read. It's gonna be abit of trial and error to get the right Lumens for you. On the back of the packaging the colour of the light should also be given. This is a scale from Warm-Cold with the Kelvin scale as its measure. The simple trick for choosing which colour lighting you should have is this: Warm= softer and more yellow/orange light, Cold= harsher and more blue light. LED light bulbs tend to have a higher Lumes and are often Cold Coloured. Unfortunately, Cold coloured light (sometimes called blue light) such as LED screens and lamps can interrupt our circadian rythum (sleep pattern) The harsh blue light forces our eyes to stay alert. For me this lead to headaches and trouble sleeping. Unfortunately, many offices and workplaces uses LED lights as their overhead lights bc it makes their employees more productive, aka less sleepy (and it causes us light sensitive neurodivergent people to weep). On the plus side, most computers now days have a blue light filter in their setting so that you can change you screen to become more orange later in the day which minimises the damage done to your eyes. Now there are many different types of light bulbs. There are Dimmer bulbs which work great and can be really good for ceiling lamps. Some dimmers even have a multicolour filter meaning you can have change the colour to anything under the rainbow (OBS not the same as Warm-Cold). Another light bulb I would recommend for the cursed overhead ceiling light (sometimes called the Big Light by neurodivergent folks) is a Half Crome Bulb. This bulb is special bc the entire top part is covered in a chrome film. This film causes most of the light to be reflected backwards. Meaning that if you have it in a ceiling lamp the light reflects up towards the ceiling which reduces glare significantly. Lastly, lamp shades are really important if you want to reduce glare/brightness. Lamp shades in thicker fabric or frosted/white glass will difuse the light even more. Hope this helps in some way!
I am AuDHD person and I live on disability. I literally have no money to not skimp on things. I have to buy what I can afford. Another thing is I can't live fully alone for various reasons and I moved back in with my mother 6 years ago. So, I have to deal with her and what she wants for her house. It gets frustrating. I keep telling her about different things we could do to help me in my neurodivergence and she just doesn't like a lot of the ideas I have. It's really frustrating. Right now we are saving to put a shower in the half bath, which would really benefit us both because she's getting older and our only full bath is upstairs. But I would also bathe more if there was an easier way to do it. My mother is awesome and she is totally my best friend and living with her is easy, but not having complete control over my space and being able to afford to make myself comfortable is really hard sometimes.
I recently decided to transform my underused dining room into a playroom! I need space to play despite being a full grown adult. I work better sprawled on the floor on a nice thick carpet, I have more space for my movement practices, not to mention increased room to play with the pup and the kittens. Sometimes I just lay their looking at the Aurora Borealis that I have lighting up the ceiling at night. I can't really host dinners anymore but I hate cooking so it's win-win 😅. The idea came from a book specifically to organize your home with ADHD in mind (so helpful!). Good luck with your new space!
@@prettypanda I think it was "ORGANIZING SOLUTIONS FOR PEOPLE WITH ADHD Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized" by Susan C. Pinsky. Hope that helps!
My partner and I had to make space to make two separate bedrooms. Their ADHD and my autism both get space at the end of night. We wind down differently and we stim differently, as well as different bed time. It 's been a huge improvement in our marriage. We are also in the process of finding a bigger condo so I can have a "alone time" room where I can soundproof the heck out of it, have a rocking chair and take care of my sound sensitivity. I need to have a room where I can't hear my partner. My partner likes to move and talk a lot as part of their stim, so me having a quiet space separate from the main living area meant they can stim freely as well.
1) little key rack next to door 2) really really good mattress gives you the best sleep --> better brain function --> better life 3) no TV (got rid of all my TVs in 2015 even before i was diagnosed with ADHD, the news are just way too depressing & anxiety inducing), I have a laptop with a large screen & my phone, I get to choose what I watch, no stupid loud commercials either 4) i put my vitamins into one of those 7-day pill containers, fill it up once a week & can even throw it in my purse if I'm in a rush 5) get pre-packaged salads instead of buying 12 separate ingredients and then forgetting you have the ingredients & they go bad (i also like to add a can of tuna or chicken or shrimp to the salad for added protein) 6) i stopped using the refrigerator drawers because out of sight out of mind, everything is just visible 7) creating zones, like a large basket on top of the dog crate for all the dog stuff in one place, a hanging jewelry organizer over the door that contains all the little things that could get lost super easy 8) clear baskets for shoes and everything else too, you can see what's in it plus it makes it easier to move when it's time 9) slippers, because i don't like my feet touching the bare floor 10) a few small blankets that i put over the dog bed interchangeably, that way i wash the blanket instead of the whole bed which falls apart after 2 washed. The blankets act like sheets 11) don't skimp on bed sheets and blankets, get ones with natural fibers like cotton and linen (no polyester or microfiber), get the higher thread count, not that scratchy stuff 12) I love how comfortable my sofa is but it was too low to the ground for me so i ordered taller sofa legs and replaced them, now it is the perfect height for me PS. When you record your videos, could you pause the background music? It was distracting, i turned down the volume & read the closed captioning.
i don't use the fridge drawers either! learned it from kc davis on tt back in the day and i'm honestly so used to it by now i forgot how big of an accommodation it was when i first discovered it
I have the $3,000 couch. It's in my favorite, soothing color. It's a crushed velvet texture and the light hits it just so. It's really soothing and the experience of sitting on it is really soothing and it makes the experience of holding my favorite cup in my favorite couch and having lovely interactions with my favorite people on it really soothing. It just adds like two points to the entire experience.
I am 25 and autistic. I love this discussion! I am very sensitive to colors, the only color I can look at for a long time without feeling discomfort is pink. I recently got rid of all my furniture that I accumulated throughout my teens and college years bc I back then could not afford to choose the furniture I would have needed. Now I have the resources, so all of my new furniture is pink! I am so happy with my home now and it is soooo much easier to decrompress since everything in my home is pink.
What an amazing idea! I love the idea of a monochromatic room 🌸High contrasts (like a black tv against a white wall) is uncomfortable for me to look at, so this seems perfect, and also feels very creative/artistic.
For ages I've wanted a jungle gym hallway, transforming that transitional space into a fun, active, sensory experience and natural (for me) means of exercising. Some day!!
This is so curious, i react lretty strongly to color too, especially on myself, bright or to many or to bold colors disregulate me. I do not like high contrast... But I am less elektive then you, I am pretty ok with most dusty soft or dark colors especially if they are cool, my favorite is teal. I absolutely love your Idea of making it all pink to make you feel better! Dependend on the shade it would be to much vor me, but everyone is different and havin6found what works for you is great
This is such an interesting topic in my opinion. Neurodivergent people are so often taught to adapt to their environment in order to thrive. I believe this pattern of teaching and thinking is completely backwards! I would love to hear more of Irene’s thoughts on this matter as she continues her moving process!
I love this topic. As a late diagnosis, my masking has gone so deep I have to relearn who I am. And a big part of that is how my home functions and feels safe. It's been an uphill process but this topic definitely helps shed light in areas that help. ❤❤❤
Me too, I was diagnosed late and feel like I only just started figuring out what some of my needs may be. Even giving myself permission to dislike something for sensory reasons has been huge - I hate lawnmowers the way Irene hates the airplanes, I felt that look 100% 😅 Idk if this would be helpful to you, but I've started doing some trauma-informed yoga classes, and it's been absolutely *amazing* . After a session, it feels like I've been partially unmasked and am more aware of my body (such as what it needs or finds irritating). I wouldn't be surprised if our masks extend to our bodies - that we've shut down and disconnected from them in order to better mask or adapt to the world around us. After my very first session, when the instructor left me to process and feel, I was almost overwhelmed by being so calm, yet present and aware of my own body that I started rocking for comfort. To my knowledge, I've never rocked to stim (I don't even stim much). My body feels less like an enemy now, and more like a part of myself that I need to give positive attention to. Sorry for the long comment, but we all gotta look out for each other and help if we can 💜
i'm 43 and have adhd and i live in a tiny house (not a tiny house... my house is just really small lol) and these are the things i've done to make it more soothing: 1) neutral colors (black, grey, beige), almost no patterns or prints (they are overstimulating). 2) lots of warm, fuzzy textures to make it cozy. 3) colorful pillowcases and wall tapestries i can switch out when i get tired of the colorscheme. 4) smart lightbulbs in my bedroom and main living area - my favorites!! bc i can change the luminosity and colors. i'm highly sensitive to light and cold artificial color is something i hate! i prefer low, moody warm light. a salt lamp helps too! and some candles. 5) aromatherapy for helping with moods and anxiety. 6) a place to hang my keys right by the door to minimize losing them. 7) lots of b/matching, basic neutral-colored plastic bins/baskets to organize all my stuff. 8) cute things that make me happy, including some plushies! 9) plus i always ALWAYS have some kind of ambience playing in the background (fire, rain etc) besides calming lofi music for when i need to concentrate. and i just got a cute vintage-looking speaker that sits on my desk bc i love retro stuff!
Hi. I know there are probably better videos to say this under but I wanted to say it under this video because you posted this around the time I finally worked up the courage to ask my parents to get me an autism assessment. I started watching your videos about 4 months ago because I made a good friend who has autism and I wanted to better connect with him. After watching through a few videos, I started to realize just how much I related to some of the things you were saying. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but I kept finding myself watching your channel. After about 2 months, I finally asked my mom to set up an appointment. And now, as of yesterday, I was diagnosed as Autistic and Adhd. I'm writing this because I wanted to thank you for making a genuine impact on my life through your videos. I'm 16 years old but I think if it weren't for you, I never would have even considered that I was Autistic and may not have been diagnosed until much later in life. Thank you so much for making these videos. ❤
It didn't quite hit me until you posed your questions (thank you Editor Irene!), but I find that I build little stations for myself throughout the house. - I have a coffee station and coffee/tea related things there and a few other small things that I don't have space for in the kitchen but need it be accessible like first-aid kits and stuff there. - I have a couple of those rolly carts from Michael's so I can take them with me in different parts of the house with ease, but also each cart has a theme like "this is my art cart" or "this cart has my notebooks and journals and stickers" or "this set of drawers that roll is all the cat food supplies (including bowls)" etc. - I use a big basket in the kitchen to contain a lot of everyday things like breakfast oats and protein powders. I call it my breakfast basket! Like, everything has a small space/station for things so that they are out and I can see them and remember to do them, but also they are organized and are at least "in place" when I don't have time to clean. It also helps me focus on the thing I need/want to do in that space too.
I also have themed carts! Game changers! It also means I can see what I've got/not got, which I think is so important with AuDHD. Like I've bought multiples of things because I couldn't see that I already had them. I also like displaying collections in nice ways and carts or bookshelves/shelving really helps with that. When I have my own place (me and my partner live with my parents) I'm probably going to have a lot of open shelving!
As someone who is still in highschool I think these videos are really useful to me personally to help me plan for my future. Love your channel and thank you for all of your advice and warm guidance
Yeah, the earlier you know you're Autistic (or neurodivergent in general), the better. I wish I'd known when I was in high school. Unfortunately, I have to work backwards from where I am to where I want to be.
@@dmgroberts5471 I’m really grateful I’ve had the internet to help me see my symptoms. I’m two weeks away from an answer on a formal diagnosis, but even if I don’t have autism I still relate to many of the experiences and traits and I think recognizing that and working around it is invaluable
Instead of a dining room, I have a room for plants and aquariums. Especially in winter when everything is bare and gray outside, it's important for me to have a space where I can enjoy nature to wind down after a stressful week.
I love this topic! Something that changed my life was swapping out my plates and bowls for plates made out of bamboo and buying these mats for rugs that stop them from slipping. Now my plates are on these mats and it really helps with my noise sensitivity! Also making everything visible in my room, it took the doors of my wardrobe and have stuff in clear containers
I just moved out on my own for the first time recently and definitely agree. Been spending a LOT of money on comfort (and storage, because the AuDHD hits hard without everything having a place to go in) and it's so worth it honestly. It's way too stressful not enjoying the one place you're supposed to be at ease. Also for the rugs, my parents have 2 dogs so they got very thin area rugs that are easy to throw in the wash, with thick rubber grip pads underneath it to still give it nice plushness- seems to work pretty well and not super expensive! Their rugs have corners that hold the mats in place too so it's not sliding off.
love this video. My partner has a climbing wall and padded floor in the living room in place of a couch which fits our lifestyle so much better, even if people are confused when they come over and don't know where to sit. We've also realized recently that the dining table is super underutilized and are now thinking about turning that space into a studio for knitting and crafting :)
Buy furniture with storage in the living room. Coffee tables with storage, end tables with storage. I have had the same ones for 30+ years. It helps store things we need.
Minimalism. Watching the play of sunlight and leaf shadow on the walls, listening to the wind, the birds. Watching the sunrise from my bedroom window. Best for me.
I’m 23 and have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and am waiting on an autism assessment. I’ve been given the opportunity to redo my room for the first time in about 15 years and it’s been so so freeing to be able to make decisions that work for me and how my brain works. Even just little things like having chest of drawers instead of a massive wardrobe I never use. But the thing that I’m most excited about (and spending the most time on) is being in control of my lighting. I’m partially sighted along with being ND and so lighting is something I’m very very picky about, and I always lived in places that had low yellow lighting and it would make me feel so uncomfortable. It hurts my head and it’s just flat out impractical. But I’m in the process of getting some lightbulbs that change colour and have more daylight style lighting and I’m so excited. It’s such a small thing to anybody else, but the idea of finally having a space that is bright enough and just comforting is so nice. Your videos have also been such a lifeline for me as I’ve been going through the motions of understanding myself and making life work for me. Thank you for all that you do ❤
yess, i recently did the same! I have audhd and I finally invested in my own room, got led lights, a cute lava lamp and a smart light bulb for my ceiling. And honestly the smart light is such a live saver bc before my family would open the light and it would hurt my eyes, but now I'm the only one who control it and the colours and brightness are adjustable
Irene, I am so glad you made this video and opened a conversation about how to accommodate to yourself in your living space. This is perfect timing for me personally as I'm now 24 and it's a first time for me to finally live alone (not sharing a room/bed with anyone) which opened up bunch of questions for me. Moreover, I can have the autonomy to curate how everything works with my routines in the apartment and it's soo liberating. I am a floor person 🌞 I love working on the floor, laying on a flat surface, reading, watching youtube, eating sometimes, I also do yoga so it's super important for me to have a fair share of empty space in my apartment where I can just be on the floor. Another thing I've been dreaming about for last 7-8 years is kotatsu. I am usually cold so a built-in heater would absolutely be a saver for me. the blankets are great and the fact it's on the floor makes it so much cozier. I would also love to have a big one in a dining room, so I could share a meal and chat with my friends. maybe without a heater tho, just a low table would be great. So yeah, thank you again for making this video and brining up this topic, creating the space to share our thought. I'm picking up a habit to read through your comments more and more often (and writing too) and it makes me feel safe and seen and connected to the community 💙💙💙
I have also been picking up the habit of readin the comment sectioj bc it makes me feel less alone! I loved your floor idea, I lovr to do yoga and sit on the floor also. I also practice jiu jitsu and gymnastics so you just gave me the idea of buying some puzzle mats so i can train freely in my own home without having to go to classes when i dont feel like leaving the house
@@thequarrywoman1 the puzzle mats sound awesome! I'm so glad my comment helped you figured it out for yourself 💙 wish you good luck and pleasant practice in all your trainings and sessions 🙌
I've actually been looking for a video like this for a while now without much success so thank you for making it :) I recently moved so I am still in the process of making my space work for me and explaining to people that I will not get a dining table because I don't want it to take a lot of space when I don't use it much and that the 2nd bedroom will not be a guest bedroom for the 3 times a year it would be used but I am instead making it a workshop/creative room so I can partake in my 100 hobbies comfortably and you'll just have to sleep on the couch lol
I absolutely love this concept! Previously, I set up our home when we first moved here how it “should be.” Because of having a child as well as going through cancer that shifted my abilities to function as I had before, this set up completely did not work anymore. Everything became out of control and chaotic. Right now I am in the process of creating our home to be appropriate for my ADHD, my disabilities, as well as functional for both our child and husband when I am not feeling well enough to keep up. One of these things is changing our extra bedroom into a game room where we can all have fun, actually use the space, and have the ability to just close the door to keep our dog out while having it be a relaxing space. I now need things organized in a way I can easily see them or labeled in a way I know what I’m looking at. This has been a game changer for all of us as it makes things easier to pass off to one another.
I know many older people for whom finding themselves sitting on the floor is their worst nightmare because they no longer have the flexibility to get up without a Lot of help!
one alternative suggestion i’ll throw out there, regarding a perfectly suited couch: shop for a good deal on something vintage, with an appealing shape & good solid bones, then get it reupholstered in colors & textures that you love. prices vary quite a bit but you could potentially save some money while getting *exactly* what you want
Commenting to say this is EXTREMELY interesting to me and validating to hear!! I’ve been reflecting on so much of the same concepts so it’s so great to hear someone say it out loud. Makes me feel like I’m on the right track and not crazy for the ways I’m obsessively planning my space and my next move. I’ve been worrying if I’m being entitled or prissy or whatever when it comes to wanting to invest in things so I love how you worded it as accommodating for our sensitivity. I just feel a lot of shame for even feeling like I “need” certain things that other people may not find to be necessities. Even something as simple as me refusing to consider an apartment without a patio because I need fresh air and sunlight or else I’ll go insane… anyway, thank you for sharing!
I am blessed to live only 1 block from a park that has a walking/biking trail along the backside that actually takes a route through a river flood plane, and ends at a Menards store. Nature (as long as you ignore houses lining the bluff formed by the river at high flood) and shopping in one go!
I am so happy this video got recommended to me bc Im hopefully moving soon and Ive got a few ideas (and now that Ive watched this video, I made changes!). Im going to add a small "station" per hobby because I am sooo unmotivated to do something if all the equipment is misplaced and Im not comfortable somewhere, Im also going to add station for sensory play, little sand pits, sensory toys, idk that kinda stuff because I've noticed it's quite beneficial for me to take the time and do these things
This is not a vote for designing your house for guests, nor setting up a dining room, but another important consideration for accommodations is disability-friendly seating. You mentioned it a bit. As someone with a physical disability, few things make me feel more welcome than friends who have comfortable seating (sometimes even for friends like me). It may seem small, but AuDHD + disability + chronic pain often means not speaking up when you’re in pain/when things cause you pain out of fear of being picky/demanding/annoying/etc. it’s a common feeling among neurodivergent people, but specifically in this context for neurodivergent people with chronic illness. This is less of a “build your space for your guests” than “what else can make my space feel safe and comfortable?” It can be as simple as getting chair cushions with lumbar support, heating pads, etc (all of which anyone can use!). I *really* love my Cushion Lab cushions and pillows (I want to get more!!)
This is something I’ve felt for a long time but I’ve struggled with because of why spaces are “normally” used for and already feeling awkward enough. I haven’t implemented it yet but I’m planning on it. For example, I love eating together as a family but it feels awkward for us at the kitchen table because we normally use the kitchen table for art. I’ve wanted to get those small individual Japanese floor table so we could just sit on the floor and eat and move our little tables wherever we want. Even outside! Also, the closets seem to be this black hole of energy lol. I’d love to change it up, make more space, add a few cushions and some fairy lights and have it be more of a moody hideaway spot to draw, read, take a nap, or just ponder things. I love your video. Thank you so much for bringing up this topic and just being you 😊
I love this video. Because of my adhd, I simply *will not* do things that my brain sees as tedious and annoying. I’ve been trying to eat more fruit instead of sweets, but I simply will not cut up watermelon, pineapple, etc…so I started buying pre-cut fruit. It costs more, I admit, but it’s the only way I know I’ll actually eat the fruit I buy, so it’s worth the extra cost for me. My family however think it’s ridiculous. It’s hard to not take it to heart knowing they think what I’m spending my money on is ridiculous.
Even if they think it's ridiculous, if they thought about it in terms of your real experience, they'd have to own that it's decidedly more ridiculous to buy and waste whole fruits that you've discovered don't work for you! So clearly, they're not devoting much thought to it, therefore, they don't get a say in what you're doing. Unless they want to come over on shopping day and chop your fruit 😅
Love this idea! My husband and I switched to individual blankets (versus a shared comforter) on our bed when we got married and it was a game changer. Maybe the bed doesn’t look “made” like in other homes, but we both sleep so much better now. No fighting for covers and can adjust blankets easily to individual desired weight/warmth.
A third on doing this! My ex and I started sleeping so much better when we got individual blankets! He likes the room really cold, too cold for me to stick limbs out of the blanket when it inevitably got too hot under the blanket from shared body heat! We also got a king sized bed despite us not being large people, so we could stretch out without feeling resentful. We got the dog pajamas to keep her warm as well! I tried to help my ex get things that would meet his needs and help us find common ground to both be happy in but... I guess he's my ex for a reason! lol
I heavily relate to not using a dining table and looking to invest in better quality tv dinner trays. I love hearing other people talk about this topic , I am in college and was doing online classes and i learned alot about myself and how to better build a space and schedule to accommodate my needs and what feels natural to me. additionally my partner and i are autistic and have a lot of tactile sensitivities , so we prioritize finding/ replacing things in our house like bowls, plates and utensils with something that feels better for us to use. 🖤
As an undiagnosed adult, I had struggled in the past with people being judgemental about my apartment an the way it looks and I always thought it has to be functional for me. For example, the table that should be a dinning table, I use it as a desk because I really need a large space to work and I can't function using a normal desk. And I need multiple chairs to put my feet up. Once I had a partner who was zero empathetic and wanted to change my apartment to her desires. I let her move things and it felt so uncomfortable. Now I do what I want, and it led me to not sharing my space at all but I'm perfectly fine like this.
Ugh it's the worst when people comment on your place like that, and what are you even supposed to say? While IN your home hosting them? "WELL thanks for coming! Ta-ta" 😂 I legit had someone make fun of our place (my husband and I are not much of the decorating type, so the only things on our walls were completed puzzles, the original blinds from the place too). This friend also lives with her grandmother, so maybe she just envied our comparatively blank canvas but... it was rude.
I love this!! I’ve spent extra money on a thick fluffy mattress pad and giant marshmallow comforter. I spend extra to get what I need visually and sensor wise in my home office: Wrist rests, a good chair, fidgets, cycle for under the desk for my feet, organization tools, shelving. I spent a TON of time looking for the best couch and coffee table. I spend up on my collections that give dopamine, like Garfield phone or giant lava lamp or beautiful glass. But the biggest system change I’ve made is with laundry. I COULD NOT get my brain to do it. I saw someone awhile back say smaller loads and that seemed like just more work. So I really sat down among my piles of clothes and figured out that the system I needed required 6 small open containers. 3 for clean, 3 for dirty. 3 categories. So, somehow for me, washing my clothes separate from kid clothes separate from linens has made a massive difference. And even if they aren’t folded, all the clean is in a tidy (see through - that is key!!) container and not on my floor. I really feel inspired to find other systems. We do eat at the coffee table though.
This is an absolutely interesting topic!! So many of us (of previous generations and assimilations) are just now learning of our neurodivergence. The very idea of "having needs" that needed meeting? 5 years ago, that was a foreign concept. In the beginning, I needed others to give me permission to "do my own thing" with my space, so it is important to see others in their own journeys. As far as couches go- I'm a thrift store lover. When my couch is too well-loved, I start the hunt for a $200 or less couch. I'm pretty fickle and like to change it out frequently. My latest came from FB marketplace for free- a red leather pottery barn couch that the owner wanted gone ASAP. This one may stay awhile because it is so easy to keep clean w/ multiple dogs and is okay as far as comfort goes.
My parents furnished their home in Assorted Garage Sale style. I still miss the heavily textured wall in what had originally 2 generations back, been intended to be a formal parlor. So great for rubbing against when I needed tactile stims!!
This is a great video. I am recently diagnosed and have been making my home more accessible for me and this validates so much for me that I never thought I was “allowed” to do.
Yes! Environment is everything to me! My fave items: wireless speaker for rain/nature sounds & music, my weighted blanket, bed warmer (plugged version), pillow topper, dimly lit lamps. My no skimp items are: bedsheets, essential oils (if they're cheaply made my nose will KNOW), headphones (again a sensory thing), and throws.
This is a very important topic as comfort is crucial to help us relax and unwind. I got rid of my dining table as I eat mostly at my desk. I’ve always liked to have a spacious and comfortable couch in my living room, in which I can have some meals, take naps and watch movies surrounded by my dogs. I’ve always spent a lot of my time making my apartments extremely comfortable, soothing lights etc…
HI! 👋 New here. I'm moving (again), and while I'm not autistic, I do hv serious mental illness challenges (w ADHD, PTSD, others are private), along with some fun physical challenges. These tips are great! My family is very "neurotypical." They aren't bothered by certain sounds, lights, etc. I tried explaining it, but it's tough, and they TRY to understand. I'm going to show my sister this video! For me, lighting is more important than anything. A yellow-tinged grey interior brings on flashbacks.😢 We fixed that w warm white lights with dimmers. This changed the entire "vibe" for me! And, it was very inexpensive. I realized I don't need an office bc my new place has a **comfortable** and functional dining area, which, like you, I'll rarely use for eating, hostessing. I certainly don't need a separate desk. Plus, it's comfortable. For me, a quality bed is crucial. I sprung for an adjustable base model finally, and it's really helpful. The couch is also super important to me. Like you, I've bought the more inexpensive ones, only to find they're shot in 6 months. ⚠️Also, if the couch isn't comfy, I'm going to stay in bed all day -- not good for mind nor body.⚠️ I don't hv the money for a couch like yours, but I dated a man who did what u did. I got to help design.😊 It lasted over a decade. I'll spend more this time than previously. Middle-ground. Finally, u inspired me! It's a really small place. Your trampoline room sounds fun! Can I come over? 😜 🎹 I've always wanted a music room w a piano. Since I can't get that, u inspired me to buy myself a keyboard and create music in a space-efficient way w a view out of my new window. Thanks again for all the tips. I'm old (Gen-Xer 😮), but u can always learn new things.😊 - just me in Palm Springs 🌴
I really appreciated you mentioning that a dining table wasn't necessary for you and your living space! I've always forced myself to have a dining set even if I didn't use one or want one and I just realized.. I only did that because it's what I perceived to be "normal" -- I never considered that it was an option to not have one. I've always disliked sitting at a dining table (dining chairs are usually uncomfortable) but felt like it was necessary if we ever hosted people. In reality, I don't host often enough for it to be a problem. At the end of the day, it's way more important for me to have a comfortable space that is visually pleasing and fits my sensory needs. In the future I'd love to curate a living room area with lots of comfy floor seating and side tables so that there's enough space for friends and family without compromising my needs.
I wanted to pop in and thank you for doing what you do as a whole on UA-cam. I'm a new subscriber, so there's a lot more to explore! Everything about this video was helpful, but I struggle a lot to put it into words how or why. Every video I've watched of yours has helped me learn to be more insightful to myself and my unique needs. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences!
I have a daughter with Autism+ADHD. So we r moving soon to our own unit. Great ideas about no kitchen table. We are both artists, so our place will incorporate our art needs instead in our living space and bedrooms. My daughter likes calm neutrals and I like bright colours. So im having to be careful juggling and planned the AESTHETICS. We need lots of open space and open boxes baskets to easily drop things into to keep it neat and tidy. We are both visual, so we need to see things out in the open but tidy.
My bedroom is a Sanrio themed dreamland. It's the room I always wanted as a kid and is not at all "age appropriate" by our cultural standards for a 33 year old lady but I could care less. I love collecting Sanrio and I feel happy waking up in my princess pink bedroom. I also have a dedicated meditation room that was originally designed to be a small bedroom.
I currently live in a furnished rental and it's better than living with my parents, but... I'm finally buying my first home! I'm fortunate enough to make good money, and I built up a lot of savings for this home purchase and furnishing by taking travel contracts for a little while. But the housing market is horrendous, so I'm just getting a one-bedroom condo to keep my payments to a less stressful amount. I was below the poverty line for a very long time (yay, autistic underemployment) and now that I can afford to make my life better, that's what I'm doing. I take care of others at work; I'm excited to take care of me at home. I'm actually hiring a professional organizer to help me unpack and create systems to reduce my executive function burden and prevent the clutter that's visually overstimulating. I'm painting a couple rooms for soft soothing color, using the dining space for crafts (my special interest), getting a hammock chair with plus-size weight capacity so I can swing in a cocoon, and storing objects at the point of performance instead of where everyone else stores them. I'm going to shop for most of my furniture (kitchen table and chairs, bookshelves, armchair) at thrift stores and make my big purchases (fridge, mattress/box springs, pull-out couch) during Labor Day sales. The best thing about this place, though, will be the dishwasher. I truly loathe dirty dishes. The sight, the smells, the feel, the wet splashes, the way my hands feel dry and tight after... Ugh. I love cooking and baking, but I rarely do those things because of the dishes. My kitchen will be a joyful place again, and the energy saved on kitchen cleanup can go towards other chores that I neglect when washing the dishes is all I can manage.
oh my gosh i love this!! I'm not even finished watching yet but I'm so stoked to see this discussed. I'm an OT and also ND and I have really been wanting to figure out how to marry my love of design with neurodivergence...it is SO important to take these things into account for our spaces and ourselves. We need our spaces to be right for US.
This is very interesting and helpful. I often feel so guilty spending lots of money to make my surroundings comfortable for me… but really it’s a requirement for my neurodivergence and neurotypical folks don’t get to decide the status quo when it comes to spending MY money ❤
You sound how i feel when your just so done feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and feel like I'd rather be healthy than normal or right. Like, I'm getting to the 'I just need to do what makes life livable'.
this is so true. We have an apartment in our garage, when my brother lived there, he slept at the loft, had a living and dining room underneath it. No space for extra things like his studying and stuff and he was alwyays complaning about the lack of space and storage. But when I moved in? I had a study area instead of a dining room, i used the loft as walk in closet and i have a bedroom in the living room and my brother and his friends are so shocked lol
I know this is an older video, but as someone who is currently in the process of diagnosis for adhd and autism and videos like this are really helping me consider how to better help myself live more comfortable. So thank you for this video! Will go through more of your videos for sure.
I moved out for the first time last year for uni and I've slowly been learning how to make my life more accommodating for myself. The main things I've changed in my room is having a mirror that's reversible, with a pin board on the back for posters and photos (since I get dysphoria a lot, this is the best). Also most of my clothes go into the draws under the desk instead of in the wardrobe, which is only for clothes I don't want to crease. The wardrobe also keeps all the kitchen equipment and large hobbies. Having lots of fairy lights and lamps in different places helped massively with how much and what kind of work I can get done since I always work at night, it can help me conceptualize the space differently. I also kept lots of cases on top of the wardrobe for different needs (e.g. makeup, random supplies, bathroom stuff) so I knew the general area to look for things but was completely free to forget it was there when I didn't need it. Finally having a reading nook was the best ever - hardly ever read in it and didn't use it how I expected but it was amazing when I did use it and 100% worth it
For a long time I slept in my big walk in closet. My mattress was just on the floor and I had soft, warm lighting. That was it. It was the best I’ve ever slept. I hope that when I move I can do that again or do something super similar.
This is a very interesting topic! I'm fortunate enough to design and build my own home. During the whole process I'm asking myself these questions. I started woth asking myself what makes a house feel like a home to me. These answers were used to remind myself what things needed to be prioritised. Then I asked myself what I will do in my house. And I ordered them in a list to importance/time I (want to) do these things. I envisioned myself using the spaces and think about what I'll need while using it. And making plans for appropriate storing places. A couple of things that came out of this: - I want to share my house with friends and I want them to feel comfortable and welcome. So it's wheelchair friendly, we have build in beds for people to stay over and a huge dining table where we can also play boardgames. - I need to have peace and quiet in my house. So we made a blind wall facing the road. And we have places where you can pull back from the busyness of the household. - television and gaming are really distracting to me and drain energy while I want to do other things. So we decided to have a seperate area upstairs for tv and computer. And the open plan livingroom/kitchen/dining area have huge glass walls facing the garden instead of screens. So I can see a lot of sky, green and wildlife. - books and reading them make me feel at home. So we have a huge central bookcase with syairs in front of them. And very deep windowsills with cushions that you can sit in with a book and a cup of tea.
I don't have my own house or apartment, so I'll just answer in terms of my room. As of right now, I haven't done any accomodation for myself yet, but I do plan to get a new bed frame and free up a small part of my room to have as a little comfy corner. With a nice fuzzy circular rug, pillows, stuffies, and a canopy to go above and kinda cover it slightly. I feel most comfortable in more dim light, smaller spaces, there would be a lot of soothing textures, and I think it'd be a nice place to retreat during meltdown or shutdown to recharge. As for necessities I can't skip out on, I find myself having to invest in a high quality bonnet because I can't stand the scratchy feeling of my braids on the pillows through the bonnet. Also thicker clothes, feeling my braids through my shirt as well makes me irrationally angry. PS: I really do appreciate all of the videos you make Irene, they have been a huge help to my relearning of myself ever since the discovery of autism. I love the amount of care and dedication you put to your videos, thank you.
I can never afford to shell out on furniture. Unfortunately, thats just the reality of many peoples' situations. However, there are small, more affordable changes that I have made to accommodate myself. Lighting is a huge thing! Many small, lights instead lf glaring overhead lights, soft blankets on the sofas and bed, lots little stims around the house where i tend to sit and having things displayed/out where i can see them. One other thing i really want to invest in is bamboo plates and bowls. Its a nightmare putting dishes away with how loud it can be so bamboo can really help if you struggle with the loud clank of ceramics.
Love this! I think it’s fun seeing how other people are breaking conventions to make spaces actually livable. I’m still figuring out how to live in my own apartment but I use an outdoor rug inside so I can clean pet incidents easier, and I’ve leave a little tray on my couch because I always eat there. I definitely agree with you on the couch- I’ve always been afraid of spending too much money on a couch but I absolutely despise mine and I’m realizing that if the texture and depth were different I would use my living room more. Looking forward to seeing what you get!!
Great video! We have moved frequently, and I am new to thinking I am on the spectrum. Only in the last few years have I really been able to take these concepts to heart and remember where/when/how/why certain living situations made me thrive and others were really crap. I think it’s important to note it’s OK to forgive yourself for having an unexpected reaction to a place. Sometimes, you *think* the situation will improve but it ends up a bit worse. In a future video, it would be fun to hear your *perfect* house and maybe collab with another creator to design a mockup or something! I would take the windows and urban location from a loft I lived in; backyard from the last place; the kitchen, bathroom, proximity to hiking and nature where I am now; and a concrete balcony for my cat like when I lived in a ‘60s apartment. Example: I had found a place with a garage to work on my car, but the combination of first needing to fully clean/gut/renovate the garage and then to earn more money for car tools/parts contributed to another burnout longer term. My intention and my belief is still that I really want a garage to work on a car & do my special interest, but now I realize it has to be easier, faster, cheaper to set up for my needs. I am now more comfortable having nothing or an empty space, vs filling a room with junk because it is “supposed to be” a bedroom/dining room/whatever…
i love to spend time at my desk watching youtube, reading, writing, eating, and making music. It's the place I spend most of my time, so I found a desk I truly loved :) lots of drawers, nice soft top, shelving, and wheels! plus it's beautiful to look at
I totally agree with you on everything. You need to make your surroundings work for you now and not for somebody that you may or may not be interacting with in the future. Also never skimp on a sofa or a mattress. If you go cheap now you will be replacing it again almost immediately because it won't hold up.
I have a small apartment with living room, kitchen and entrance in one giant room, the bedroom in a room by its own, and the bath room. One and a half year ago I relocated the bed from the bedroom to the livingroom because I figured that the actual sun in the sky is what needs to manipulate my body to get the sleep right. The sun shines into the livingroom in the morning. Moving from the sivil watch to the actual day and night in nature with the suns position on the sky, healed alot of things in my life. Got rid of winter depression etc. So I didn’t know what to do with the bedroom. So I renamed it to the hobby room. Now it has gone a year with a hobby room for special stuff like my religious alter, an indoor place for growing herbs, and a couple other things. Just for special things that make sense for me to do in another room. It took a looong time before the social workers that visits me several days a week, stopped nagging me about moving the bed back into the bedroom. It took perhaps three quarters of a year. I just repeated and repeated the story that «this is where the bed belongs because of the circadian rhydm» and «that is a hobby room». The social workers had no thoughts to what is appropriate for the building of my little nest («home»). But I just knew that eventually they will give up. And they did, after three quarters of a year. When you find those concrete things that is very appropriate for you in your home, and people are pressuring you back into normalness. Just tell them what is normal and repeat. After a long time they will get used to what is normal in your home. And then they will go ahead and talk about your hobby room, as if they always did that. At the end of the day, you have the power to define normal.
If you want to make more videos like this, there’s a new book called The Sensory Home that would be great. Also, I like to have a seating area in my kitchen (loveseat coffee table) instead of a dining table. It takes me a long time to cook and relax in my kitchen and it just improves my quality of life.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately when considering what I’d like to have in my own place if I get to move out within the next year. For instance, I don’t think I’d really need a couch or a full living room, but a table with comfortable chairs that I could use for studying, for working, for eating, etc is gonna make a big difference for me. There’s also a lot of little details that are easy to forget, but that could be important for my day to day life. It’s something I wanna consider ahead of time so I know what to look for when the time is right
I deliberately got everything second hand and when possible, from loved ones. So A) nothing's perfect and I'm okay if something gets scratched or broken or so in and B) I have a bunch of visual reminders that I have a supportive community when I'm struggling and C) helps relieve my eco anxiety about buying new
It is interesting how much anxiety dining rooms can create. It is such a formal part of the house. I like dining tables in the living room much more. It feels more casual and versatile for me and makes it easier to transition from a meal to other activities in my opinion
I really appreciate you talking about how important it is to think about what we actually need and want instead of just going with the “typical” layout, furniture, etc. Like you, I almost never eat at a table, and I also don’t work at a desk very often, both largely because I have joint pain and chronic illness that make most chairs really uncomfortable for me, and being able to lie back really helps me preserve my energy and comfort. I recently finally got a lap desk and it’s been so so nice, I wish I’d gotten one sooner! Having something to put my laptop on so it’s not getting too hot on my legs, and being able to use it for meals as well has been fantastic. My partner and I are moving into a new apartment soon, and we’re really trying to think about ways we can make it work better for us than our current apartment. We’re moving from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom, so I’m really excited for the ways we’ll be able to use the new space (it’s gonna have an office space and stuff for our hobbies - 3D printing and robotics for him, drawing and other arts and crafts for me, as well as a cozy spot for reading). My partner and I both struggle with chores, in part because of our various neurodivergencies and my chronic illness, and I think there are ways we can lay out our new apartment that will make things way easier for us, even things as simple as making sure all of the things we need to do any given task are all in the same place (making sure you can stand in one spot and have everything you need within arm’s reach). I’m thinking about ways to accommodate my back pain by setting things up in such a way that I rarely have to bend over. I also recently got house slippers (technically they’re slides because I don’t like my feet getting too hot, but they serve the same purpose) because I struggle with the sensory feeling of walking on the flooring in our apartment, particularly if there’s anything on the floor or it’s gotten a bit wet (which happens a lot in the kitchen). Your videos have really helped me to accept that I’m valid in struggling with the things I do and allowing myself to accommodate those things. Thank you so much for the work you do, and the supportive community you foster on your channel 💕
I’m currently moving into my first apartment/alone for the first time, & I’m super grateful that I found you shortly before starting the process! There’s surprisingly little information on moving as an autistic adult, & I’ve been pretty set on making the new spot a “safe space” for me. So validating & helpful. Love & appreciate your content! 🫶🏼
I dont have my own house, but in my room i did replace my closet with a built in desk, and got a coat rack for the things i couldn't put in my drawers. I it love so much, i never realy liked my closet because i would always end up just shoving thing in there and for getting about them, even before putting a desk in there i did remove the doors so i could always see inside. I also used to have desk that was way to big for me and did not work well with my brain, i really love having a much smaller desk where i can reach everything without having to stand up and lean over, and my drawers were way to deep, so i would never really know what was in them. :)
Hi, this is interesting ❤. The best thing I have done for my space in the past was using the dining room as a dedicated room for Dungeons & Dragons. I invested a good amount of money to get this huge table and I felt so happy that all my friends had room for their books, for their dice, for their papers and writing implements, as well as food, drinks, miniatures. It just takes a lot of space and I'm glad I made that choice. I don't have this table anymore, it stayed at my ex's place when I moved out into a small appartment, but if I get the space for it again, I'm likely to make that choice once more! I did use it as a dining table one time at christmas, when we had cheese fondue and we were 12 friends sitting around it. Very loud, very packed but it's still a fond memory.
I'm moving in a few months to my own apartment. There are a few things I've learned to prioritize: - lighting. The lighting in my current bathroom is so fluorescent (and I can't change it), that I used to avoid taking showers and even struggle with brushing my teeth. I added a nightlight and that made a major difference. But in my new place I will absolutely spend the money to have the right lighting. Multiple light sources, colors, safe places for candles, dimmers,... - couch. I spend most of my time in the corner of my sectional couch. I like the pressure against my back. I also dislike sitting with my back to an open space. So I know that I need to prioritize placing my furniture in such a way that when I use it, my back is towards a wall. - low table. I don't eat at a table. I only sit at my table to craft or sew; otherwise it's used to fold laundry or do ironing. In my living space I want a low table, like a coffee table, that you can comfortably sit at, so I can do my crafting sitting on the floor instead of having to sit in the same position on a chair. - swing. Once I actually live in a place I own, I am 100% getting a swing in my house. A hammock, a basket swing, a rocking chair, any and all of the above. I have been saying this for years and now it's finally going to be possible. - bunk. I want a bunk. I love when in a hostel you get your own little nook with a curtain or shutters. I've always been obsessed with the concept of beds in closets. So I'm making it happen. - floor heating. I'm still figuring it out, but seeing as I need to redo the heating system anyway, and I walk around barefoot all day every day, I will probably put in floor heating, so I don't have to wear slippers, bc that would make me very upset.
❤ this video! I have thought about this, making the house suit the family. We are getting ready to transition into a more permanent space/house. I know many who use the extra room/dinning room as a "staged room" if you will & I have been thinking there are so many opportunities in utilizing that room for a personal area or comfort area for the individuals who live there. (I hope that made sense) We did the trampoline in our extra room, for our daughters, in our 1st big house. Some people got a kick out of it & some people thought, that is a great idea. Either way, it was our house and it worked for our family.
My desk is just a cheap wooden door from my local hardware store on top of some milk crates , I sit at it in my beanbag on floor level and all my art supplies are within reach too. It’s just comfier on the ground !!
As a college student, I have a desk I never sit at because sitting on chairs has never been a pleasant experience. I used to sit under the desks at school to do my work whenever possible because it was just unbearable. I got a dog bed mat thing and have been working from the floor since a few months ago. I’m looking into a table that’s about the right height to sit at and do work at. It’s so much better.
New follower here! I started doing this with my bf who has ADHD. In our last space, we moved our TV and couch to our huge bedroom with our bed so my bf could use the living room as his office/gaming room. Since he spends most time watching shows on his computer and I like to sit on the couch or hang out in the bedroom, it made the most sense for us!
one thing i did for my partner with adhd is get a standing wardrobe to hang up clothes in. folding clothes and using a dresser was too much, the clothes would never get folded and put away. but now it is easy to just hang up a shirt with a hanger and you can also see everything at the same time. closet works too but we have limited space so this works for us. i think dressers have become standard but they arent for everyone. i also have gotten a carpet for most rooms in my house since i like to sit on the floor. this way its a better sensory experience than just sitting on wood floor. also a small thing i got motion sensing lights in my kitchen. idk why but i get very annoyed turning on and off light switches so i always have lamps on around the house. the motion light helps since i do not have a lamp in the kitchen and if i go get water or something quickly it is less overstimulating
I love this idea of using space at home to how you need it to work for you! I think this is great advice for anyone, not just neurodivergent people: in our house we don't have a dining table, but we have a big island where we eat. The area that was planned to hold the dinning table is a play area for our toddler - it's super convenient for us at our life stage, because we are able to cook and see the kids. When I was little, my parents totally redid the apartment we lived in, took away walls to make an open plan kitchen and living room, gave the "original" living room to me and my sister as our bedroom/kids playroom. I am so grateful for my parents because they are the reason I don't have these strict "walls" in my head on what rules are and can be flexible and don't care about what someone else might say
You’re on the right track and I’m in 100% in agreement with getting what works for your life. I’m in the process of moving for the millionth time and have the same sentiments. Everything I bring into my home is done with intention and purpose. It must support my ND and overall well being. ❤ thanks for sharing
loved this topic! im almost 26 and for the first time in my life im finally moving out on my own. my space has been such a source of anxiety and feeling dysregulated for so long. i dont even know what i need. but this helped me start that process in my mind so thank you!!
I just found your channel today. I had to move back home 8 years ago after many years with my own house, because of my health, and I’ve been dreaming of the day I can have my own space again. I’ve done a lot of drawing plans and such and have modified my plans to fit my health needs and low income, but never thought to modify for my sensory needs. Thank you.
You went right to the point. That was I need to hear! I am having a discussing with the home designer that we don't need a dinning table. He said the flat is big and it would look empty. I reply that is what I am looking for free spaces... to move freely without bumping into anything and less place to accumulate things. The kitchen island + a small table on the balcony is just what we need. Very good topic.
Love this video! Once I realized how affected I am by my surroundings, I decided to invest in my own comfort and embrace my unusual style when decorating my apartment. Since doing it it’s made such a positive difference in my mental health!
Hey, thank you so much for putting this down. Whenever I search online for adhd life tips, it's always the basic plan your day, use time tracker stuff. Your video is exactly what I'm looking for. Hope you'll make more like these - especially on uni life, making friends and dealing with coworkers at job if possible.
One of the best things I did for myself is getting lamps for every corner of my room so I could have soft light instead of using harsh overhead lights. Then I bought smart bulbs and smart plugs to use with them and put them on timers - the lamps turn on every morning at the same time, a few of them go out at 10:30pm to remind me that it's time to wind down, and the last lamps go out at midnight. The morning ones are really great in the wintertime when it's dark outside and harder for me to get the motivation to wake up and get out of bed. It's helped so much in maintaining a healthier sleep schedule and it's made the room much cozier, too! And I never have to worry about getting in bed and realizing I forgot to turn the lights off 😌
I know this isn't about a home, but for me clothes is always something that I've overlooked. I would always buy clothes that other people would wear, even if they made me uncomfortable. Now i always make sure that I'm super comfortable in clothes that I buy, and something that I don't skimp out on is my comfy clothes like hoodies. I recently realised that I always feel so much better with long sleeves I can hide my hands in, so I always keep that in mind now when I'm shopping. ♡ Also thank you so much for this video. :)
people are so different. i agree with making the space that it fits for the people living in it. i, personally, dream of a really big table to do puzzles on and for board games 😂.
Hello there!! here a recently diagnosed ADHDer from Argentina!!! I started trying to make my home more comfortable according to my needs since I first started looking for the diagnosis (I already suspected it was ADHD) The thing that I decided to invest on is high quality 100% cotton bed sheets. The other fabrics are so uncomfortable for me and I hate dealing with the fact that they all end being out of place after a few nights of sleep. I also bought containers to help me keep all the things in place, and make it easier for me to tidy (I struggled with it during my entire life) and try to hang as much clothes as I can, cause I just hate folding. I love everything about making a home more neurodiversity friendly!!!
this is something I've been thinking about too. I've always had a very difficult time keeping my space clean. throughout my life I've always had parts of my space unusable because its just piled up with stuff. so when i realised carpentry is something that really excites me and i love to let myself hyperfocus in it, i started building furniture to suit exactly my needs. I've still not gotten my space anywhere near what i need it to be, but atleast now cleaning up is so much easier because I know where things go and its not a difficult system to follow because i made it myself
Thank you for sharing! I love that you decided to invest in yourself and your space. I’m an interior designer and my husband is also in a creative field. We’ve been very intentional about making our space work for us and our needs. A quality sofa, bed, and office chair are items we decided to invest a bit more money into. It’s been worth it. They are all pieces of furniture that impact our quality of life - relax time, sleep, and work. We do rent, so there’s only so much we can customize, but we work with what we have and are adapting as we learn more about our unique needs for a home. A few other adaptations we’ve made that were simpler are acoustical, lighting, appliances that all support our daily routines. Also, we don’t have a dining table either. We decided to go for a folding table and chairs that we can pull out as needed when we have guests.
I truly appreciate your content. I am just starting on my journey, and you have given me different ideas of how to be comfortable and help with my sensory issues without being ashamed. Thank you so much, Irene! 💚
I have been doing this for years without really being aware of it. For instance I have a room dedicated to my art and have not been inspired to paint in some time, so I reworked the room to be my quite, sitting, and meditation room, moving the table out into the sunroom to use as a breakfast table, this has been a very nurturing and relaxing place for me now. I just love rearranging furniture and it’s a great way to clean under things. I so much enjoy and appreciate your videos on various subjects. Thank you!
I currently am living in a vintage Camper that I am still in the process of renovating. In doing so I am having to look at how I can live in a tiny space and still be able to meet my AuDHD needs. My autism needs everything organized and my ADHD needs everything visible and easy to get to. So with building my cabinetry. Instead of having anything up high other than the cat furniture on my walls. I built a loft bed so that I could have more lower space. I am building rolling cart cabinets for under my kitchen area and bedroom area. So that I can just pull it out, see and get what I need and roll it back. Standing is becoming difficult for me. So I sit on a stool lower to the ground. It is so easy. Each rolling cart is only 8 inches wide. So that I am not tempted to overfill shelves. Thus, not being able to see everything easily. I am also building a rolling bookcase for my books so that I can hang a mirror on the back. As I really want a mirror but do not have wall space to hang one. I am thinking of making a rolling pantry as well. I figured these will look more like rolling walls that I can easily move around in order to get more bang for my tiny space.
I keep a space open to hula hoop and do yoga in. My elliptical sits out where I see it and can watch tv from it I’ll avoid using it. And I did have a rebounder trampoline for decades and they’re worth having. My son adopted a 4 year old nonverbal nd and his little face just lights up when he comes over because cozy velvet sofa, jumpy trampoline, and an indoor silk yoga swing makes my place his happy quiet place. It’s amazing to see a child who is normal screaming meltdown just be allowed to decompress into a sing humming quietly in a swing or scream giggle bounce on the jumpy thing or curl up with his soft things to watch the same movie on repeat for an afternoon.
I LOVE hearing other neurodivergent folks tell me the specific ways they're adapting their homes to suit their needs. Like, you could make a 20 minute video just describing why you arranged the items on your kitchen counter in the exact way you did, and I'd watch the whole thing.
Same!
Exactly why I want more neurodivergent content creators! I need more long form explanation videos ✨
Wow I was thinking of Just This!!!! Trying to get started
Would you watch if it was well done but didn’t show the person?!
@@douxhealth-beauty3196I know I would!
I think that the best space accomodation i've done for myself is having a bed in my living room, i used to do everything in my "sleeping bed" and i feel quite uncomfortable sitting on anything else (i think i just need a large soft space that allows me to sit and lay down in any weird position that i want) Having another bed instead of a couch is a big game changer for me (also english isn't my native language, idk if i'm properly explaining myself)
Oh my gosh, that is the best idea ever!
@@Maiden_Warrior_Crone I think it is brilliant. I asked if we could put a daybed type couch in the living room and my mom hated that idea, but if I lived alone again I would totally do it. :)
@@denisedarland3345 Totally. Should we put this on a list of things we want when we have our own space?😂
I need to lie down a LOT so a daybed sounds like the best idea ever! I'm going to look at some online now. Thank you for the idea! 😁
@@denisedarland3345 when my mm divorced my step dad we had a day bed in the living room instead of a couch. I liked it.
This actually resonates deeply with me!
As a single person, I rent a 2B place and have a little yoga/relaxation room. Without the visible reminder of my yoga mat, I won’t exercise which in turn makes me super dysregulated. Cold is also dysregulating to me in the winter and I have social anxiety at the gym. Having my own space for movement and relaxation removes these barriers for me and it is a luxury I feel lucky to afford, even though neurotypical people don’t understand it.
I think that’s beautiful how your taking care of your needs
I totally understand this
Having a 2nd room for yoga & excerise was my dream!! I have a 1 bed flat and have made it work as best I can to do wellbeing. Good for you for knowing what u need to do to take care of yourself and double good for u for being grateful for what u got! Wish u the best ✌️
I want my own kitchen space so I can function the smallest thing makes me Freck out and just get takeout.
@@whitsfiryellnogobyye Can you maybe make a small corner that has a yoga matt
One of the biggest accomadations I made is lighting. First I changed all the lightbulbs and added multiple different light sources, even candles. I also noticed that if I have a live candle instead of a lamp when I'm about to go to bed I get sleepier, I'm guessing its because of natural vs artificial lighting. In addition to this I placed my desk directly infront of my window. It's helped with productivity so much bc not only getting sunlight, but I'm also hearing the birds outside and if my brain wants stimulus then I can have a short glance outside and look at nature.
Another big accomidation for me was customization. As an autsistc person I often get really annoyed if something isnt excatly the way I want it so I've given myself the freedom to paint and customize my surroundings no matter what others might think of my choices. This includes changing outlet covers, painting walls, furiture and trimm, reupolstering seats & changing out the handels on my doors. Its made a big difference in how calm I feel in my space.
I thought I was dumb when I said that I don’t like these orangy-yellow lights in most houses, but I liked the lights turned off & a candle turned on. It sort of has the same color, but one is softer and I just discovered that I hate bright lights in general lol.
Oh my gosh, I agree with you 100%!
I relate so much to this! It’s legit “not just a cracked outlet” for me, it will keep me up at night.
Lighting is a huge struggle for me. In the winter especially, it's horrible, I spend hours laying down with eyes closed because I can't stand the light but I also don't want to turn it off because it's not time to go to bed yet. I just waste all my nights doing that. I don't want to use candles because I don't want to risk a fire. But I fail to find lightbulbs that make a pleasant lighting.. Is it the numbers of Watts? the color of the light spectrum? the type of bulb (LED, halogen..)? should I get a dimmer? or is it because the bulb is naked and I should get a fixture (? luminaire? I don't know the word in english) ? If anyone has tips with that...
@@clayjug4893 Hi Clay! Here are some tips that might help in your quest for better lighting:
When you buy a lightbulb the two most important things to look at is the Lumens and the Colour of the light.
Lumens is the brightness of the light itself. Two lightbulbs can have the same amount of Watts (power requierment) but have a very different Lumens (brightness). The amount of Lumens should be stated on the back of the packaging. For reference the average lightbulb is between 800-1,100 Lumens. Anything below 400 Lumens is considered low light, you'll be able to see and walk around but it would be difficult to read. It's gonna be abit of trial and error to get the right Lumens for you.
On the back of the packaging the colour of the light should also be given. This is a scale from Warm-Cold with the Kelvin scale as its measure. The simple trick for choosing which colour lighting you should have is this: Warm= softer and more yellow/orange light, Cold= harsher and more blue light.
LED light bulbs tend to have a higher Lumes and are often Cold Coloured. Unfortunately, Cold coloured light (sometimes called blue light) such as LED screens and lamps can interrupt our circadian rythum (sleep pattern) The harsh blue light forces our eyes to stay alert. For me this lead to headaches and trouble sleeping. Unfortunately, many offices and workplaces uses LED lights as their overhead lights bc it makes their employees more productive, aka less sleepy (and it causes us light sensitive neurodivergent people to weep). On the plus side, most computers now days have a blue light filter in their setting so that you can change you screen to become more orange later in the day which minimises the damage done to your eyes.
Now there are many different types of light bulbs. There are Dimmer bulbs which work great and can be really good for ceiling lamps. Some dimmers even have a multicolour filter meaning you can have change the colour to anything under the rainbow (OBS not the same as Warm-Cold).
Another light bulb I would recommend for the cursed overhead ceiling light (sometimes called the Big Light by neurodivergent folks) is a Half Crome Bulb. This bulb is special bc the entire top part is covered in a chrome film. This film causes most of the light to be reflected backwards. Meaning that if you have it in a ceiling lamp the light reflects up towards the ceiling which reduces glare significantly.
Lastly, lamp shades are really important if you want to reduce glare/brightness. Lamp shades in thicker fabric or frosted/white glass will difuse the light even more.
Hope this helps in some way!
I am AuDHD person and I live on disability. I literally have no money to not skimp on things. I have to buy what I can afford. Another thing is I can't live fully alone for various reasons and I moved back in with my mother 6 years ago. So, I have to deal with her and what she wants for her house. It gets frustrating. I keep telling her about different things we could do to help me in my neurodivergence and she just doesn't like a lot of the ideas I have. It's really frustrating. Right now we are saving to put a shower in the half bath, which would really benefit us both because she's getting older and our only full bath is upstairs. But I would also bathe more if there was an easier way to do it. My mother is awesome and she is totally my best friend and living with her is easy, but not having complete control over my space and being able to afford to make myself comfortable is really hard sometimes.
I recently decided to transform my underused dining room into a playroom! I need space to play despite being a full grown adult. I work better sprawled on the floor on a nice thick carpet, I have more space for my movement practices, not to mention increased room to play with the pup and the kittens. Sometimes I just lay their looking at the Aurora Borealis that I have lighting up the ceiling at night. I can't really host dinners anymore but I hate cooking so it's win-win 😅. The idea came from a book specifically to organize your home with ADHD in mind (so helpful!). Good luck with your new space!
what book were you reading about organizing your home with ADHD in mind? I wanna read it!
@@prettypanda I think it was "ORGANIZING SOLUTIONS FOR PEOPLE WITH ADHD Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized" by Susan C. Pinsky. Hope that helps!
How do you create an aurora on your ceiling?! That sounds amazing too.
@mentalsurfeit There are lanterns you can buy. If you search 'galaxy lantern,' plenty of options will pop up.
This is amazing!
My partner and I had to make space to make two separate bedrooms. Their ADHD and my autism both get space at the end of night. We wind down differently and we stim differently, as well as different bed time. It 's been a huge improvement in our marriage. We are also in the process of finding a bigger condo so I can have a "alone time" room where I can soundproof the heck out of it, have a rocking chair and take care of my sound sensitivity. I need to have a room where I can't hear my partner. My partner likes to move and talk a lot as part of their stim, so me having a quiet space separate from the main living area meant they can stim freely as well.
1) little key rack next to door
2) really really good mattress gives you the best sleep --> better brain function --> better life
3) no TV (got rid of all my TVs in 2015 even before i was diagnosed with ADHD, the news are just way too depressing & anxiety inducing), I have a laptop with a large screen & my phone, I get to choose what I watch, no stupid loud commercials either
4) i put my vitamins into one of those 7-day pill containers, fill it up once a week & can even throw it in my purse if I'm in a rush
5) get pre-packaged salads instead of buying 12 separate ingredients and then forgetting you have the ingredients & they go bad (i also like to add a can of tuna or chicken or shrimp to the salad for added protein)
6) i stopped using the refrigerator drawers because out of sight out of mind, everything is just visible
7) creating zones, like a large basket on top of the dog crate for all the dog stuff in one place, a hanging jewelry organizer over the door that contains all the little things that could get lost super easy
8) clear baskets for shoes and everything else too, you can see what's in it plus it makes it easier to move when it's time
9) slippers, because i don't like my feet touching the bare floor
10) a few small blankets that i put over the dog bed interchangeably, that way i wash the blanket instead of the whole bed which falls apart after 2 washed. The blankets act like sheets
11) don't skimp on bed sheets and blankets, get ones with natural fibers like cotton and linen (no polyester or microfiber), get the higher thread count, not that scratchy stuff
12) I love how comfortable my sofa is but it was too low to the ground for me so i ordered taller sofa legs and replaced them, now it is the perfect height for me
PS. When you record your videos, could you pause the background music? It was distracting, i turned down the volume & read the closed captioning.
i don't use the fridge drawers either! learned it from kc davis on tt back in the day and i'm honestly so used to it by now i forgot how big of an accommodation it was when i first discovered it
I have the $3,000 couch. It's in my favorite, soothing color. It's a crushed velvet texture and the light hits it just so. It's really soothing and the experience of sitting on it is really soothing and it makes the experience of holding my favorite cup in my favorite couch and having lovely interactions with my favorite people on it really soothing. It just adds like two points to the entire experience.
your couch sounds amazing
I am 25 and autistic. I love this discussion! I am very sensitive to colors, the only color I can look at for a long time without feeling discomfort is pink. I recently got rid of all my furniture that I accumulated throughout my teens and college years bc I back then could not afford to choose the furniture I would have needed. Now I have the resources, so all of my new furniture is pink! I am so happy with my home now and it is soooo much easier to decrompress since everything in my home is pink.
pink is the best color!!! i have ADHD and hyperfixate on pink… i have to stop myself from buying the same kind of pink shirt over and over 😂
This reminds me of the movie Legally Blonde, she had everything pink!! People have said the theory that she’s accidentally coded autistic
What an amazing idea! I love the idea of a monochromatic room 🌸High contrasts (like a black tv against a white wall) is uncomfortable for me to look at, so this seems perfect, and also feels very creative/artistic.
For ages I've wanted a jungle gym hallway, transforming that transitional space into a fun, active, sensory experience and natural (for me) means of exercising. Some day!!
This is so curious, i react lretty strongly to color too, especially on myself, bright or to many or to bold colors disregulate me.
I do not like high contrast... But I am less elektive then you, I am pretty ok with most dusty soft or dark colors especially if they are cool, my favorite is teal.
I absolutely love your Idea of making it all pink to make you feel better! Dependend on the shade it would be to much vor me, but everyone is different and havin6found what works for you is great
This is such an interesting topic in my opinion. Neurodivergent people are so often taught to adapt to their environment in order to thrive. I believe this pattern of teaching and thinking is completely backwards! I would love to hear more of Irene’s thoughts on this matter as she continues her moving process!
Agree, cutting off ties does jot make the shoe fit as even cindarella taught us!
Agree, cutting off ties does jot make the shoe fit as even cindarella taught us!
I love this topic. As a late diagnosis, my masking has gone so deep I have to relearn who I am. And a big part of that is how my home functions and feels safe. It's been an uphill process but this topic definitely helps shed light in areas that help. ❤❤❤
Me too, I was diagnosed late and feel like I only just started figuring out what some of my needs may be. Even giving myself permission to dislike something for sensory reasons has been huge - I hate lawnmowers the way Irene hates the airplanes, I felt that look 100% 😅
Idk if this would be helpful to you, but I've started doing some trauma-informed yoga classes, and it's been absolutely *amazing* .
After a session, it feels like I've been partially unmasked and am more aware of my body (such as what it needs or finds irritating). I wouldn't be surprised if our masks extend to our bodies - that we've shut down and disconnected from them in order to better mask or adapt to the world around us.
After my very first session, when the instructor left me to process and feel, I was almost overwhelmed by being so calm, yet present and aware of my own body that I started rocking for comfort. To my knowledge, I've never rocked to stim (I don't even stim much). My body feels less like an enemy now, and more like a part of myself that I need to give positive attention to.
Sorry for the long comment, but we all gotta look out for each other and help if we can 💜
Unmasking your house! Love practical content like this and the thought processes behind it. More, please.
Omg, "unmasking your house" is such a great expression 😅 Sounds like a new series...
i'm 43 and have adhd and i live in a tiny house (not a tiny house... my house is just really small lol) and these are the things i've done to make it more soothing:
1) neutral colors (black, grey, beige), almost no patterns or prints (they are overstimulating).
2) lots of warm, fuzzy textures to make it cozy.
3) colorful pillowcases and wall tapestries i can switch out when i get tired of the colorscheme.
4) smart lightbulbs in my bedroom and main living area - my favorites!! bc i can change the luminosity and colors. i'm highly sensitive to light and cold artificial color is something i hate! i prefer low, moody warm light. a salt lamp helps too! and some candles.
5) aromatherapy for helping with moods and anxiety.
6) a place to hang my keys right by the door to minimize losing them.
7) lots of b/matching, basic neutral-colored plastic bins/baskets to organize all my stuff.
8) cute things that make me happy, including some plushies!
9) plus i always ALWAYS have some kind of ambience playing in the background (fire, rain etc) besides calming lofi music for when i need to concentrate. and i just got a cute vintage-looking speaker that sits on my desk bc i love retro stuff!
Hi. I know there are probably better videos to say this under but I wanted to say it under this video because you posted this around the time I finally worked up the courage to ask my parents to get me an autism assessment. I started watching your videos about 4 months ago because I made a good friend who has autism and I wanted to better connect with him. After watching through a few videos, I started to realize just how much I related to some of the things you were saying. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but I kept finding myself watching your channel. After about 2 months, I finally asked my mom to set up an appointment. And now, as of yesterday, I was diagnosed as Autistic and Adhd. I'm writing this because I wanted to thank you for making a genuine impact on my life through your videos. I'm 16 years old but I think if it weren't for you, I never would have even considered that I was Autistic and may not have been diagnosed until much later in life. Thank you so much for making these videos. ❤
It didn't quite hit me until you posed your questions (thank you Editor Irene!), but I find that I build little stations for myself throughout the house.
- I have a coffee station and coffee/tea related things there and a few other small things that I don't have space for in the kitchen but need it be accessible like first-aid kits and stuff there.
- I have a couple of those rolly carts from Michael's so I can take them with me in different parts of the house with ease, but also each cart has a theme like "this is my art cart" or "this cart has my notebooks and journals and stickers" or "this set of drawers that roll is all the cat food supplies (including bowls)" etc.
- I use a big basket in the kitchen to contain a lot of everyday things like breakfast oats and protein powders. I call it my breakfast basket!
Like, everything has a small space/station for things so that they are out and I can see them and remember to do them, but also they are organized and are at least "in place" when I don't have time to clean. It also helps me focus on the thing I need/want to do in that space too.
I also have themed carts! Game changers! It also means I can see what I've got/not got, which I think is so important with AuDHD. Like I've bought multiples of things because I couldn't see that I already had them. I also like displaying collections in nice ways and carts or bookshelves/shelving really helps with that. When I have my own place (me and my partner live with my parents) I'm probably going to have a lot of open shelving!
As someone who is still in highschool I think these videos are really useful to me personally to help me plan for my future. Love your channel and thank you for all of your advice and warm guidance
Yeah, the earlier you know you're Autistic (or neurodivergent in general), the better. I wish I'd known when I was in high school. Unfortunately, I have to work backwards from where I am to where I want to be.
@@dmgroberts5471 I’m really grateful I’ve had the internet to help me see my symptoms. I’m two weeks away from an answer on a formal diagnosis, but even if I don’t have autism I still relate to many of the experiences and traits and I think recognizing that and working around it is invaluable
I’m here to try to make my current rooms more friendly
Instead of a dining room, I have a room for plants and aquariums. Especially in winter when everything is bare and gray outside, it's important for me to have a space where I can enjoy nature to wind down after a stressful week.
I love this topic! Something that changed my life was swapping out my plates and bowls for plates made out of bamboo and buying these mats for rugs that stop them from slipping. Now my plates are on these mats and it really helps with my noise sensitivity! Also making everything visible in my room, it took the doors of my wardrobe and have stuff in clear containers
I just moved out on my own for the first time recently and definitely agree. Been spending a LOT of money on comfort (and storage, because the AuDHD hits hard without everything having a place to go in) and it's so worth it honestly. It's way too stressful not enjoying the one place you're supposed to be at ease.
Also for the rugs, my parents have 2 dogs so they got very thin area rugs that are easy to throw in the wash, with thick rubber grip pads underneath it to still give it nice plushness- seems to work pretty well and not super expensive! Their rugs have corners that hold the mats in place too so it's not sliding off.
love this video. My partner has a climbing wall and padded floor in the living room in place of a couch which fits our lifestyle so much better, even if people are confused when they come over and don't know where to sit. We've also realized recently that the dining table is super underutilized and are now thinking about turning that space into a studio for knitting and crafting :)
your living room sounds amazing and fun!
for real! living room is a room for the residents to be in most of the time.
Buy furniture with storage in the living room. Coffee tables with storage, end tables with storage. I have had the same ones for 30+ years. It helps store things we need.
Minimalism. Watching the play of sunlight and leaf shadow on the walls, listening to the wind, the birds. Watching the sunrise from my bedroom window. Best for me.
I’m 23 and have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and am waiting on an autism assessment. I’ve been given the opportunity to redo my room for the first time in about 15 years and it’s been so so freeing to be able to make decisions that work for me and how my brain works. Even just little things like having chest of drawers instead of a massive wardrobe I never use.
But the thing that I’m most excited about (and spending the most time on) is being in control of my lighting. I’m partially sighted along with being ND and so lighting is something I’m very very picky about, and I always lived in places that had low yellow lighting and it would make me feel so uncomfortable. It hurts my head and it’s just flat out impractical. But I’m in the process of getting some lightbulbs that change colour and have more daylight style lighting and I’m so excited. It’s such a small thing to anybody else, but the idea of finally having a space that is bright enough and just comforting is so nice.
Your videos have also been such a lifeline for me as I’ve been going through the motions of understanding myself and making life work for me. Thank you for all that you do ❤
yess, i recently did the same! I have audhd and I finally invested in my own room, got led lights, a cute lava lamp and a smart light bulb for my ceiling. And honestly the smart light is such a live saver bc before my family would open the light and it would hurt my eyes, but now I'm the only one who control it and the colours and brightness are adjustable
I recently splurged a bit and bought a tent for my bed and creating this safe space has been so useful for regulating.
Irene, I am so glad you made this video and opened a conversation about how to accommodate to yourself in your living space. This is perfect timing for me personally as I'm now 24 and it's a first time for me to finally live alone (not sharing a room/bed with anyone) which opened up bunch of questions for me. Moreover, I can have the autonomy to curate how everything works with my routines in the apartment and it's soo liberating.
I am a floor person 🌞 I love working on the floor, laying on a flat surface, reading, watching youtube, eating sometimes, I also do yoga so it's super important for me to have a fair share of empty space in my apartment where I can just be on the floor.
Another thing I've been dreaming about for last 7-8 years is kotatsu. I am usually cold so a built-in heater would absolutely be a saver for me. the blankets are great and the fact it's on the floor makes it so much cozier. I would also love to have a big one in a dining room, so I could share a meal and chat with my friends. maybe without a heater tho, just a low table would be great.
So yeah, thank you again for making this video and brining up this topic, creating the space to share our thought. I'm picking up a habit to read through your comments more and more often (and writing too) and it makes me feel safe and seen and connected to the community 💙💙💙
I have also been picking up the habit of readin the comment sectioj bc it makes me feel less alone! I loved your floor idea, I lovr to do yoga and sit on the floor also. I also practice jiu jitsu and gymnastics so you just gave me the idea of buying some puzzle mats so i can train freely in my own home without having to go to classes when i dont feel like leaving the house
@@thequarrywoman1 the puzzle mats sound awesome! I'm so glad my comment helped you figured it out for yourself 💙 wish you good luck and pleasant practice in all your trainings and sessions 🙌
I've actually been looking for a video like this for a while now without much success so thank you for making it :)
I recently moved so I am still in the process of making my space work for me and explaining to people that I will not get a dining table because I don't want it to take a lot of space when I don't use it much and that the 2nd bedroom will not be a guest bedroom for the 3 times a year it would be used but I am instead making it a workshop/creative room so I can partake in my 100 hobbies comfortably and you'll just have to sleep on the couch lol
I absolutely love this concept! Previously, I set up our home when we first moved here how it “should be.” Because of having a child as well as going through cancer that shifted my abilities to function as I had before, this set up completely did not work anymore. Everything became out of control and chaotic. Right now I am in the process of creating our home to be appropriate for my ADHD, my disabilities, as well as functional for both our child and husband when I am not feeling well enough to keep up. One of these things is changing our extra bedroom into a game room where we can all have fun, actually use the space, and have the ability to just close the door to keep our dog out while having it be a relaxing space. I now need things organized in a way I can easily see them or labeled in a way I know what I’m looking at. This has been a game changer for all of us as it makes things easier to pass off to one another.
For guests you could always get fold up tables, they don't take up a lot of room and usually come in a thing of 4 ❤
I know many older people for whom finding themselves sitting on the floor is their worst nightmare because they no longer have the flexibility to get up without a Lot of help!
one alternative suggestion i’ll throw out there, regarding a perfectly suited couch: shop for a good deal on something vintage, with an appealing shape & good solid bones, then get it reupholstered in colors & textures that you love. prices vary quite a bit but you could potentially save some money while getting *exactly* what you want
Commenting to say this is EXTREMELY interesting to me and validating to hear!! I’ve been reflecting on so much of the same concepts so it’s so great to hear someone say it out loud. Makes me feel like I’m on the right track and not crazy for the ways I’m obsessively planning my space and my next move. I’ve been worrying if I’m being entitled or prissy or whatever when it comes to wanting to invest in things so I love how you worded it as accommodating for our sensitivity. I just feel a lot of shame for even feeling like I “need” certain things that other people may not find to be necessities. Even something as simple as me refusing to consider an apartment without a patio because I need fresh air and sunlight or else I’ll go insane… anyway, thank you for sharing!
I am blessed to live only 1 block from a park that has a walking/biking trail along the backside that actually takes a route through a river flood plane, and ends at a Menards store. Nature (as long as you ignore houses lining the bluff formed by the river at high flood) and shopping in one go!
I am so happy this video got recommended to me bc Im hopefully moving soon and Ive got a few ideas (and now that Ive watched this video, I made changes!). Im going to add a small "station" per hobby because I am sooo unmotivated to do something if all the equipment is misplaced and Im not comfortable somewhere, Im also going to add station for sensory play, little sand pits, sensory toys, idk that kinda stuff because I've noticed it's quite beneficial for me to take the time and do these things
This is not a vote for designing your house for guests, nor setting up a dining room, but another important consideration for accommodations is disability-friendly seating. You mentioned it a bit. As someone with a physical disability, few things make me feel more welcome than friends who have comfortable seating (sometimes even for friends like me). It may seem small, but AuDHD + disability + chronic pain often means not speaking up when you’re in pain/when things cause you pain out of fear of being picky/demanding/annoying/etc. it’s a common feeling among neurodivergent people, but specifically in this context for neurodivergent people with chronic illness.
This is less of a “build your space for your guests” than “what else can make my space feel safe and comfortable?”
It can be as simple as getting chair cushions with lumbar support, heating pads, etc (all of which anyone can use!). I *really* love my Cushion Lab cushions and pillows (I want to get more!!)
This is something I’ve felt for a long time but I’ve struggled with because of why spaces are “normally” used for and already feeling awkward enough. I haven’t implemented it yet but I’m planning on it. For example, I love eating together as a family but it feels awkward for us at the kitchen table because we normally use the kitchen table for art. I’ve wanted to get those small individual Japanese floor table so we could just sit on the floor and eat and move our little tables wherever we want. Even outside! Also, the closets seem to be this black hole of energy lol. I’d love to change it up, make more space, add a few cushions and some fairy lights and have it be more of a moody hideaway spot to draw, read, take a nap, or just ponder things. I love your video. Thank you so much for bringing up this topic and just being you 😊
I love that last idea! I’ll do that soon
I love this video. Because of my adhd, I simply *will not* do things that my brain sees as tedious and annoying. I’ve been trying to eat more fruit instead of sweets, but I simply will not cut up watermelon, pineapple, etc…so I started buying pre-cut fruit. It costs more, I admit, but it’s the only way I know I’ll actually eat the fruit I buy, so it’s worth the extra cost for me. My family however think it’s ridiculous. It’s hard to not take it to heart knowing they think what I’m spending my money on is ridiculous.
Even if they think it's ridiculous, if they thought about it in terms of your real experience, they'd have to own that it's decidedly more ridiculous to buy and waste whole fruits that you've discovered don't work for you! So clearly, they're not devoting much thought to it, therefore, they don't get a say in what you're doing. Unless they want to come over on shopping day and chop your fruit 😅
Love this idea! My husband and I switched to individual blankets (versus a shared comforter) on our bed when we got married and it was a game changer.
Maybe the bed doesn’t look “made” like in other homes, but we both sleep so much better now. No fighting for covers and can adjust blankets easily to individual desired weight/warmth.
We do this too! Love it! Game changer!
A third on doing this! My ex and I started sleeping so much better when we got individual blankets! He likes the room really cold, too cold for me to stick limbs out of the blanket when it inevitably got too hot under the blanket from shared body heat! We also got a king sized bed despite us not being large people, so we could stretch out without feeling resentful. We got the dog pajamas to keep her warm as well! I tried to help my ex get things that would meet his needs and help us find common ground to both be happy in but... I guess he's my ex for a reason! lol
I heavily relate to not using a dining table and looking to invest in better quality tv dinner trays. I love hearing other people talk about this topic , I am in college and was doing online classes and i learned alot about myself and how to better build a space and schedule to accommodate my needs and what feels natural to me. additionally my partner and i are autistic and have a lot of tactile sensitivities , so we prioritize finding/ replacing things in our house like bowls, plates and utensils with something that feels better for us to use. 🖤
As an undiagnosed adult, I had struggled in the past with people being judgemental about my apartment an the way it looks and I always thought it has to be functional for me. For example, the table that should be a dinning table, I use it as a desk because I really need a large space to work and I can't function using a normal desk. And I need multiple chairs to put my feet up. Once I had a partner who was zero empathetic and wanted to change my apartment to her desires. I let her move things and it felt so uncomfortable. Now I do what I want, and it led me to not sharing my space at all but I'm perfectly fine like this.
Dont invite those kind of people
Ugh it's the worst when people comment on your place like that, and what are you even supposed to say? While IN your home hosting them? "WELL thanks for coming! Ta-ta" 😂
I legit had someone make fun of our place (my husband and I are not much of the decorating type, so the only things on our walls were completed puzzles, the original blinds from the place too). This friend also lives with her grandmother, so maybe she just envied our comparatively blank canvas but... it was rude.
I love this!! I’ve spent extra money on a thick fluffy mattress pad and giant marshmallow comforter. I spend extra to get what I need visually and sensor wise in my home office: Wrist rests, a good chair, fidgets, cycle for under the desk for my feet, organization tools, shelving. I spent a TON of time looking for the best couch and coffee table. I spend up on my collections that give dopamine, like Garfield phone or giant lava lamp or beautiful glass.
But the biggest system change I’ve made is with laundry. I COULD NOT get my brain to do it. I saw someone awhile back say smaller loads and that seemed like just more work. So I really sat down among my piles of clothes and figured out that the system I needed required 6 small open containers. 3 for clean, 3 for dirty. 3 categories. So, somehow for me, washing my clothes separate from kid clothes separate from linens has made a massive difference. And even if they aren’t folded, all the clean is in a tidy (see through - that is key!!) container and not on my floor.
I really feel inspired to find other systems. We do eat at the coffee table though.
This is an absolutely interesting topic!! So many of us (of previous generations and assimilations) are just now learning of our neurodivergence. The very idea of "having needs" that needed meeting? 5 years ago, that was a foreign concept. In the beginning, I needed others to give me permission to "do my own thing" with my space, so it is important to see others in their own journeys. As far as couches go- I'm a thrift store lover. When my couch is too well-loved, I start the hunt for a $200 or less couch. I'm pretty fickle and like to change it out frequently. My latest came from FB marketplace for free- a red leather pottery barn couch that the owner wanted gone ASAP. This one may stay awhile because it is so easy to keep clean w/ multiple dogs and is okay as far as comfort goes.
My parents furnished their home in Assorted Garage Sale style. I still miss the heavily textured wall in what had originally 2 generations back, been intended to be a formal parlor. So great for rubbing against when I needed tactile stims!!
This is a great video. I am recently diagnosed and have been making my home more accessible for me and this validates so much for me that I never thought I was “allowed” to do.
Yes! Environment is everything to me! My fave items: wireless speaker for rain/nature sounds & music, my weighted blanket, bed warmer (plugged version), pillow topper, dimly lit lamps.
My no skimp items are: bedsheets, essential oils (if they're cheaply made my nose will KNOW), headphones (again a sensory thing), and throws.
This is a very important topic as comfort is crucial to help us relax and unwind.
I got rid of my dining table as I eat mostly at my desk. I’ve always liked to have a spacious and comfortable couch in my living room, in which I can have some meals, take naps and watch movies surrounded by my dogs. I’ve always spent a lot of my time making my apartments extremely comfortable, soothing lights etc…
HI! 👋
New here. I'm moving (again), and while I'm not autistic, I do hv serious mental illness challenges (w ADHD, PTSD, others are private), along with some fun physical challenges. These tips are great! My family is very "neurotypical." They aren't bothered by certain sounds, lights, etc. I tried explaining it, but it's tough, and they TRY to understand. I'm going to show my sister this video!
For me, lighting is more important than anything. A yellow-tinged grey interior brings on flashbacks.😢 We fixed that w warm white lights with dimmers. This changed the entire "vibe" for me! And, it was very inexpensive.
I realized I don't need an office bc my new place has a **comfortable** and functional dining area, which, like you, I'll rarely use for eating, hostessing. I certainly don't need a separate desk. Plus, it's comfortable.
For me, a quality bed is crucial. I sprung for an adjustable base model finally, and it's really helpful. The couch is also super important to me. Like you, I've bought the more inexpensive ones, only to find they're shot in 6 months.
⚠️Also, if the couch isn't comfy, I'm going to stay in bed all day -- not good for mind nor body.⚠️ I don't hv the money for a couch like yours, but I dated a man who did what u did. I got to help design.😊 It lasted over a decade. I'll spend more this time than previously. Middle-ground.
Finally, u inspired me! It's a really small place. Your trampoline room sounds fun! Can I come over? 😜 🎹 I've always wanted a music room w a piano. Since I can't get that, u inspired me to buy myself a keyboard and create music in a space-efficient way w a view out of my new window.
Thanks again for all the tips. I'm old (Gen-Xer 😮), but u can always learn new things.😊 - just me in Palm Springs 🌴
I really appreciated you mentioning that a dining table wasn't necessary for you and your living space! I've always forced myself to have a dining set even if I didn't use one or want one and I just realized.. I only did that because it's what I perceived to be "normal" -- I never considered that it was an option to not have one. I've always disliked sitting at a dining table (dining chairs are usually uncomfortable) but felt like it was necessary if we ever hosted people. In reality, I don't host often enough for it to be a problem. At the end of the day, it's way more important for me to have a comfortable space that is visually pleasing and fits my sensory needs. In the future I'd love to curate a living room area with lots of comfy floor seating and side tables so that there's enough space for friends and family without compromising my needs.
I wanted to pop in and thank you for doing what you do as a whole on UA-cam. I'm a new subscriber, so there's a lot more to explore! Everything about this video was helpful, but I struggle a lot to put it into words how or why. Every video I've watched of yours has helped me learn to be more insightful to myself and my unique needs. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences!
I have a daughter with Autism+ADHD. So we r moving soon to our own unit. Great ideas about no kitchen table. We are both artists, so our place will incorporate our art needs instead in our living space and bedrooms. My daughter likes calm neutrals and I like bright colours. So im having to be careful juggling and planned the AESTHETICS. We need lots of open space and open boxes baskets to easily drop things into to keep it neat and tidy. We are both visual, so we need to see things out in the open but tidy.
My bedroom is a Sanrio themed dreamland. It's the room I always wanted as a kid and is not at all "age appropriate" by our cultural standards for a 33 year old lady but I could care less. I love collecting Sanrio and I feel happy waking up in my princess pink bedroom. I also have a dedicated meditation room that was originally designed to be a small bedroom.
I currently live in a furnished rental and it's better than living with my parents, but... I'm finally buying my first home! I'm fortunate enough to make good money, and I built up a lot of savings for this home purchase and furnishing by taking travel contracts for a little while. But the housing market is horrendous, so I'm just getting a one-bedroom condo to keep my payments to a less stressful amount. I was below the poverty line for a very long time (yay, autistic underemployment) and now that I can afford to make my life better, that's what I'm doing. I take care of others at work; I'm excited to take care of me at home. I'm actually hiring a professional organizer to help me unpack and create systems to reduce my executive function burden and prevent the clutter that's visually overstimulating. I'm painting a couple rooms for soft soothing color, using the dining space for crafts (my special interest), getting a hammock chair with plus-size weight capacity so I can swing in a cocoon, and storing objects at the point of performance instead of where everyone else stores them. I'm going to shop for most of my furniture (kitchen table and chairs, bookshelves, armchair) at thrift stores and make my big purchases (fridge, mattress/box springs, pull-out couch) during Labor Day sales. The best thing about this place, though, will be the dishwasher. I truly loathe dirty dishes. The sight, the smells, the feel, the wet splashes, the way my hands feel dry and tight after... Ugh. I love cooking and baking, but I rarely do those things because of the dishes. My kitchen will be a joyful place again, and the energy saved on kitchen cleanup can go towards other chores that I neglect when washing the dishes is all I can manage.
oh my gosh i love this!! I'm not even finished watching yet but I'm so stoked to see this discussed. I'm an OT and also ND and I have really been wanting to figure out how to marry my love of design with neurodivergence...it is SO important to take these things into account for our spaces and ourselves. We need our spaces to be right for US.
This is very interesting and helpful. I often feel so guilty spending lots of money to make my surroundings comfortable for me… but really it’s a requirement for my neurodivergence and neurotypical folks don’t get to decide the status quo when it comes to spending MY money ❤
You sound how i feel when your just so done feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and feel like I'd rather be healthy than normal or right. Like, I'm getting to the 'I just need to do what makes life livable'.
this is so true. We have an apartment in our garage, when my brother lived there, he slept at the loft, had a living and dining room underneath it. No space for extra things like his studying and stuff and he was alwyays complaning about the lack of space and storage. But when I moved in? I had a study area instead of a dining room, i used the loft as walk in closet and i have a bedroom in the living room and my brother and his friends are so shocked lol
Multi-functional or transforming furniture is something worth considering too. For example, a coffee table that turns into a dining table.
I know this is an older video, but as someone who is currently in the process of diagnosis for adhd and autism and videos like this are really helping me consider how to better help myself live more comfortable. So thank you for this video! Will go through more of your videos for sure.
I moved out for the first time last year for uni and I've slowly been learning how to make my life more accommodating for myself. The main things I've changed in my room is having a mirror that's reversible, with a pin board on the back for posters and photos (since I get dysphoria a lot, this is the best). Also most of my clothes go into the draws under the desk instead of in the wardrobe, which is only for clothes I don't want to crease. The wardrobe also keeps all the kitchen equipment and large hobbies. Having lots of fairy lights and lamps in different places helped massively with how much and what kind of work I can get done since I always work at night, it can help me conceptualize the space differently. I also kept lots of cases on top of the wardrobe for different needs (e.g. makeup, random supplies, bathroom stuff) so I knew the general area to look for things but was completely free to forget it was there when I didn't need it. Finally having a reading nook was the best ever - hardly ever read in it and didn't use it how I expected but it was amazing when I did use it and 100% worth it
For a long time I slept in my big walk in closet. My mattress was just on the floor and I had soft, warm lighting. That was it. It was the best I’ve ever slept. I hope that when I move I can do that again or do something super similar.
This is a very interesting topic!
I'm fortunate enough to design and build my own home. During the whole process I'm asking myself these questions.
I started woth asking myself what makes a house feel like a home to me. These answers were used to remind myself what things needed to be prioritised. Then I asked myself what I will do in my house. And I ordered them in a list to importance/time I (want to) do these things.
I envisioned myself using the spaces and think about what I'll need while using it. And making plans for appropriate storing places.
A couple of things that came out of this:
- I want to share my house with friends and I want them to feel comfortable and welcome. So it's wheelchair friendly, we have build in beds for people to stay over and a huge dining table where we can also play boardgames.
- I need to have peace and quiet in my house. So we made a blind wall facing the road. And we have places where you can pull back from the busyness of the household.
- television and gaming are really distracting to me and drain energy while I want to do other things. So we decided to have a seperate area upstairs for tv and computer. And the open plan livingroom/kitchen/dining area have huge glass walls facing the garden instead of screens. So I can see a lot of sky, green and wildlife.
- books and reading them make me feel at home. So we have a huge central bookcase with syairs in front of them. And very deep windowsills with cushions that you can sit in with a book and a cup of tea.
Sounds like a dream.
I don't have my own house or apartment, so I'll just answer in terms of my room. As of right now, I haven't done any accomodation for myself yet, but I do plan to get a new bed frame and free up a small part of my room to have as a little comfy corner. With a nice fuzzy circular rug, pillows, stuffies, and a canopy to go above and kinda cover it slightly. I feel most comfortable in more dim light, smaller spaces, there would be a lot of soothing textures, and I think it'd be a nice place to retreat during meltdown or shutdown to recharge.
As for necessities I can't skip out on, I find myself having to invest in a high quality bonnet because I can't stand the scratchy feeling of my braids on the pillows through the bonnet. Also thicker clothes, feeling my braids through my shirt as well makes me irrationally angry.
PS: I really do appreciate all of the videos you make Irene, they have been a huge help to my relearning of myself ever since the discovery of autism. I love the amount of care and dedication you put to your videos, thank you.
I can never afford to shell out on furniture. Unfortunately, thats just the reality of many peoples' situations. However, there are small, more affordable changes that I have made to accommodate myself. Lighting is a huge thing! Many small, lights instead lf glaring overhead lights, soft blankets on the sofas and bed, lots little stims around the house where i tend to sit and having things displayed/out where i can see them.
One other thing i really want to invest in is bamboo plates and bowls. Its a nightmare putting dishes away with how loud it can be so bamboo can really help if you struggle with the loud clank of ceramics.
I got some night lamps I really enjoy
Love this! I think it’s fun seeing how other people are breaking conventions to make spaces actually livable. I’m still figuring out how to live in my own apartment but I use an outdoor rug inside so I can clean pet incidents easier, and I’ve leave a little tray on my couch because I always eat there. I definitely agree with you on the couch- I’ve always been afraid of spending too much money on a couch but I absolutely despise mine and I’m realizing that if the texture and depth were different I would use my living room more. Looking forward to seeing what you get!!
Great video! We have moved frequently, and I am new to thinking I am on the spectrum. Only in the last few years have I really been able to take these concepts to heart and remember where/when/how/why certain living situations made me thrive and others were really crap.
I think it’s important to note it’s OK to forgive yourself for having an unexpected reaction to a place. Sometimes, you *think* the situation will improve but it ends up a bit worse. In a future video, it would be fun to hear your *perfect* house and maybe collab with another creator to design a mockup or something!
I would take the windows and urban location from a loft I lived in; backyard from the last place; the kitchen, bathroom, proximity to hiking and nature where I am now; and a concrete balcony for my cat like when I lived in a ‘60s apartment.
Example: I had found a place with a garage to work on my car, but the combination of first needing to fully clean/gut/renovate the garage and then to earn more money for car tools/parts contributed to another burnout longer term. My intention and my belief is still that I really want a garage to work on a car & do my special interest, but now I realize it has to be easier, faster, cheaper to set up for my needs.
I am now more comfortable having nothing or an empty space, vs filling a room with junk because it is “supposed to be” a bedroom/dining room/whatever…
i love to spend time at my desk watching youtube, reading, writing, eating, and making music. It's the place I spend most of my time, so I found a desk I truly loved :) lots of drawers, nice soft top, shelving, and wheels! plus it's beautiful to look at
I totally agree with you on everything. You need to make your surroundings work for you now and not for somebody that you may or may not be interacting with in the future. Also never skimp on a sofa or a mattress. If you go cheap now you will be replacing it again almost immediately because it won't hold up.
I have a small apartment with living room, kitchen and entrance in one giant room, the bedroom in a room by its own, and the bath room. One and a half year ago I relocated the bed from the bedroom to the livingroom because I figured that the actual sun in the sky is what needs to manipulate my body to get the sleep right. The sun shines into the livingroom in the morning.
Moving from the sivil watch to the actual day and night in nature with the suns position on the sky, healed alot of things in my life. Got rid of winter depression etc.
So I didn’t know what to do with the bedroom. So I renamed it to the hobby room. Now it has gone a year with a hobby room for special stuff like my religious alter, an indoor place for growing herbs, and a couple other things. Just for special things that make sense for me to do in another room.
It took a looong time before the social workers that visits me several days a week, stopped nagging me about moving the bed back into the bedroom. It took perhaps three quarters of a year. I just repeated and repeated the story that «this is where the bed belongs because of the circadian rhydm» and «that is a hobby room».
The social workers had no thoughts to what is appropriate for the building of my little nest («home»). But I just knew that eventually they will give up. And they did, after three quarters of a year.
When you find those concrete things that is very appropriate for you in your home, and people are pressuring you back into normalness. Just tell them what is normal and repeat. After a long time they will get used to what is normal in your home. And then they will go ahead and talk about your hobby room, as if they always did that.
At the end of the day, you have the power to define normal.
If you want to make more videos like this, there’s a new book called The Sensory Home that would be great.
Also, I like to have a seating area in my kitchen (loveseat coffee table) instead of a dining table. It takes me a long time to cook and relax in my kitchen and it just improves my quality of life.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately when considering what I’d like to have in my own place if I get to move out within the next year. For instance, I don’t think I’d really need a couch or a full living room, but a table with comfortable chairs that I could use for studying, for working, for eating, etc is gonna make a big difference for me. There’s also a lot of little details that are easy to forget, but that could be important for my day to day life. It’s something I wanna consider ahead of time so I know what to look for when the time is right
I deliberately got everything second hand and when possible, from loved ones. So A) nothing's perfect and I'm okay if something gets scratched or broken or so in and B) I have a bunch of visual reminders that I have a supportive community when I'm struggling and C) helps relieve my eco anxiety about buying new
It is interesting how much anxiety dining rooms can create. It is such a formal part of the house. I like dining tables in the living room much more. It feels more casual and versatile for me and makes it easier to transition from a meal to other activities in my opinion
I really appreciate you talking about how important it is to think about what we actually need and want instead of just going with the “typical” layout, furniture, etc. Like you, I almost never eat at a table, and I also don’t work at a desk very often, both largely because I have joint pain and chronic illness that make most chairs really uncomfortable for me, and being able to lie back really helps me preserve my energy and comfort. I recently finally got a lap desk and it’s been so so nice, I wish I’d gotten one sooner! Having something to put my laptop on so it’s not getting too hot on my legs, and being able to use it for meals as well has been fantastic.
My partner and I are moving into a new apartment soon, and we’re really trying to think about ways we can make it work better for us than our current apartment. We’re moving from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom, so I’m really excited for the ways we’ll be able to use the new space (it’s gonna have an office space and stuff for our hobbies - 3D printing and robotics for him, drawing and other arts and crafts for me, as well as a cozy spot for reading). My partner and I both struggle with chores, in part because of our various neurodivergencies and my chronic illness, and I think there are ways we can lay out our new apartment that will make things way easier for us, even things as simple as making sure all of the things we need to do any given task are all in the same place (making sure you can stand in one spot and have everything you need within arm’s reach). I’m thinking about ways to accommodate my back pain by setting things up in such a way that I rarely have to bend over. I also recently got house slippers (technically they’re slides because I don’t like my feet getting too hot, but they serve the same purpose) because I struggle with the sensory feeling of walking on the flooring in our apartment, particularly if there’s anything on the floor or it’s gotten a bit wet (which happens a lot in the kitchen).
Your videos have really helped me to accept that I’m valid in struggling with the things I do and allowing myself to accommodate those things. Thank you so much for the work you do, and the supportive community you foster on your channel 💕
I’m currently moving into my first apartment/alone for the first time, & I’m super grateful that I found you shortly before starting the process! There’s surprisingly little information on moving as an autistic adult, & I’ve been pretty set on making the new spot a “safe space” for me. So validating & helpful. Love & appreciate your content! 🫶🏼
I dont have my own house, but in my room i did replace my closet with a built in desk, and got a coat rack for the things i couldn't put in my drawers. I it love so much, i never realy liked my closet because i would always end up just shoving thing in there and for getting about them, even before putting a desk in there i did remove the doors so i could always see inside. I also used to have desk that was way to big for me and did not work well with my brain, i really love having a much smaller desk where i can reach everything without having to stand up and lean over, and my drawers were way to deep, so i would never really know what was in them. :)
Can confirm the trampoline is so nice. Also creating many small spaces in one room helps break up groups of tasks really well
Hi, this is interesting ❤.
The best thing I have done for my space in the past was using the dining room as a dedicated room for Dungeons & Dragons. I invested a good amount of money to get this huge table and I felt so happy that all my friends had room for their books, for their dice, for their papers and writing implements, as well as food, drinks, miniatures.
It just takes a lot of space and I'm glad I made that choice.
I don't have this table anymore, it stayed at my ex's place when I moved out into a small appartment, but if I get the space for it again, I'm likely to make that choice once more!
I did use it as a dining table one time at christmas, when we had cheese fondue and we were 12 friends sitting around it. Very loud, very packed but it's still a fond memory.
I'm moving in a few months to my own apartment. There are a few things I've learned to prioritize:
- lighting. The lighting in my current bathroom is so fluorescent (and I can't change it), that I used to avoid taking showers and even struggle with brushing my teeth. I added a nightlight and that made a major difference. But in my new place I will absolutely spend the money to have the right lighting. Multiple light sources, colors, safe places for candles, dimmers,...
- couch. I spend most of my time in the corner of my sectional couch. I like the pressure against my back. I also dislike sitting with my back to an open space. So I know that I need to prioritize placing my furniture in such a way that when I use it, my back is towards a wall.
- low table. I don't eat at a table. I only sit at my table to craft or sew; otherwise it's used to fold laundry or do ironing. In my living space I want a low table, like a coffee table, that you can comfortably sit at, so I can do my crafting sitting on the floor instead of having to sit in the same position on a chair.
- swing. Once I actually live in a place I own, I am 100% getting a swing in my house. A hammock, a basket swing, a rocking chair, any and all of the above. I have been saying this for years and now it's finally going to be possible.
- bunk. I want a bunk. I love when in a hostel you get your own little nook with a curtain or shutters. I've always been obsessed with the concept of beds in closets. So I'm making it happen.
- floor heating. I'm still figuring it out, but seeing as I need to redo the heating system anyway, and I walk around barefoot all day every day, I will probably put in floor heating, so I don't have to wear slippers, bc that would make me very upset.
❤ this video! I have thought about this, making the house suit the family. We are getting ready to transition into a more permanent space/house. I know many who use the extra room/dinning room as a "staged room" if you will & I have been thinking there are so many opportunities in utilizing that room for a personal area or comfort area for the individuals who live there. (I hope that made sense)
We did the trampoline in our extra room, for our daughters, in our 1st big house.
Some people got a kick out of it & some people thought, that is a great idea. Either way, it was our house and it worked for our family.
My desk is just a cheap wooden door from my local hardware store on top of some milk crates , I sit at it in my beanbag on floor level and all my art supplies are within reach too. It’s just comfier on the ground !!
As a college student, I have a desk I never sit at because sitting on chairs has never been a pleasant experience. I used to sit under the desks at school to do my work whenever possible because it was just unbearable. I got a dog bed mat thing and have been working from the floor since a few months ago. I’m looking into a table that’s about the right height to sit at and do work at. It’s so much better.
I think a video like this might be more “popular” if you could organize it into steps somehow like you do with your workbooks.
New follower here! I started doing this with my bf who has ADHD. In our last space, we moved our TV and couch to our huge bedroom with our bed so my bf could use the living room as his office/gaming room. Since he spends most time watching shows on his computer and I like to sit on the couch or hang out in the bedroom, it made the most sense for us!
one thing i did for my partner with adhd is get a standing wardrobe to hang up clothes in. folding clothes and using a dresser was too much, the clothes would never get folded and put away. but now it is easy to just hang up a shirt with a hanger and you can also see everything at the same time. closet works too but we have limited space so this works for us. i think dressers have become standard but they arent for everyone.
i also have gotten a carpet for most rooms in my house since i like to sit on the floor. this way its a better sensory experience than just sitting on wood floor.
also a small thing i got motion sensing lights in my kitchen. idk why but i get very annoyed turning on and off light switches so i always have lamps on around the house. the motion light helps since i do not have a lamp in the kitchen and if i go get water or something quickly it is less overstimulating
I love this idea of using space at home to how you need it to work for you! I think this is great advice for anyone, not just neurodivergent people: in our house we don't have a dining table, but we have a big island where we eat. The area that was planned to hold the dinning table is a play area for our toddler - it's super convenient for us at our life stage, because we are able to cook and see the kids. When I was little, my parents totally redid the apartment we lived in, took away walls to make an open plan kitchen and living room, gave the "original" living room to me and my sister as our bedroom/kids playroom. I am so grateful for my parents because they are the reason I don't have these strict "walls" in my head on what rules are and can be flexible and don't care about what someone else might say
You’re on the right track and I’m in 100% in agreement with getting what works for your life. I’m in the process of moving for the millionth time and have the same sentiments. Everything I bring into my home is done with intention and purpose. It must support my ND and overall well being. ❤ thanks for sharing
loved this topic! im almost 26 and for the first time in my life im finally moving out on my own. my space has been such a source of anxiety and feeling dysregulated for so long. i dont even know what i need. but this helped me start that process in my mind so thank you!!
I just found your channel today. I had to move back home 8 years ago after many years with my own house, because of my health, and I’ve been dreaming of the day I can have my own space again. I’ve done a lot of drawing plans and such and have modified my plans to fit my health needs and low income, but never thought to modify for my sensory needs. Thank you.
You went right to the point. That was I need to hear! I am having a discussing with the home designer that we don't need a dinning table. He said the flat is big and it would look empty. I reply that is what I am looking for free spaces... to move freely without bumping into anything and less place to accumulate things. The kitchen island + a small table on the balcony is just what we need. Very good topic.
Love this video! Once I realized how affected I am by my surroundings, I decided to invest in my own comfort and embrace my unusual style when decorating my apartment. Since doing it it’s made such a positive difference in my mental health!
Hey, thank you so much for putting this down. Whenever I search online for adhd life tips, it's always the basic plan your day, use time tracker stuff. Your video is exactly what I'm looking for. Hope you'll make more like these - especially on uni life, making friends and dealing with coworkers at job if possible.
One of the best things I did for myself is getting lamps for every corner of my room so I could have soft light instead of using harsh overhead lights. Then I bought smart bulbs and smart plugs to use with them and put them on timers - the lamps turn on every morning at the same time, a few of them go out at 10:30pm to remind me that it's time to wind down, and the last lamps go out at midnight. The morning ones are really great in the wintertime when it's dark outside and harder for me to get the motivation to wake up and get out of bed. It's helped so much in maintaining a healthier sleep schedule and it's made the room much cozier, too! And I never have to worry about getting in bed and realizing I forgot to turn the lights off 😌
I know this isn't about a home, but for me clothes is always something that I've overlooked. I would always buy clothes that other people would wear, even if they made me uncomfortable. Now i always make sure that I'm super comfortable in clothes that I buy, and something that I don't skimp out on is my comfy clothes like hoodies. I recently realised that I always feel so much better with long sleeves I can hide my hands in, so I always keep that in mind now when I'm shopping. ♡ Also thank you so much for this video. :)
Keep making content like this please, this was a lightbulb moment! Such a simple thing, but so impactful. Thank you so much
people are so different. i agree with making the space that it fits for the people living in it. i, personally, dream of a really big table to do puzzles on and for board games 😂.
I love this concept! I would love to hear examples of how people do this. I love it in theory, but I can't think of what I would do?
Hello there!! here a recently diagnosed ADHDer from Argentina!!! I started trying to make my home more comfortable according to my needs since I first started looking for the diagnosis (I already suspected it was ADHD)
The thing that I decided to invest on is high quality 100% cotton bed sheets. The other fabrics are so uncomfortable for me and I hate dealing with the fact that they all end being out of place after a few nights of sleep.
I also bought containers to help me keep all the things in place, and make it easier for me to tidy (I struggled with it during my entire life) and try to hang as much clothes as I can, cause I just hate folding.
I love everything about making a home more neurodiversity friendly!!!
this is something I've been thinking about too. I've always had a very difficult time keeping my space clean. throughout my life I've always had parts of my space unusable because its just piled up with stuff. so when i realised carpentry is something that really excites me and i love to let myself hyperfocus in it, i started building furniture to suit exactly my needs. I've still not gotten my space anywhere near what i need it to be, but atleast now cleaning up is so much easier because I know where things go and its not a difficult system to follow because i made it myself
Thank you for sharing! I love that you decided to invest in yourself and your space. I’m an interior designer and my husband is also in a creative field. We’ve been very intentional about making our space work for us and our needs. A quality sofa, bed, and office chair are items we decided to invest a bit more money into. It’s been worth it. They are all pieces of furniture that impact our quality of life - relax time, sleep, and work. We do rent, so there’s only so much we can customize, but we work with what we have and are adapting as we learn more about our unique needs for a home.
A few other adaptations we’ve made that were simpler are acoustical, lighting, appliances that all support our daily routines. Also, we don’t have a dining table either. We decided to go for a folding table and chairs that we can pull out as needed when we have guests.
I truly appreciate your content. I am just starting on my journey, and you have given me different ideas of how to be comfortable and help with my sensory issues without being ashamed. Thank you so much, Irene! 💚
I have been doing this for years without really being aware of it. For instance I have a room dedicated to my art and have not been inspired to paint in some time, so I reworked the room to be my quite, sitting, and meditation room, moving the table out into the sunroom to use as a breakfast table, this has been a very nurturing and relaxing place for me now.
I just love rearranging furniture and it’s a great way to clean under things.
I so much enjoy and appreciate your videos on various subjects. Thank you!
I currently am living in a vintage Camper that I am still in the process of renovating. In doing so I am having to look at how I can live in a tiny space and still be able to meet my AuDHD needs. My autism needs everything organized and my ADHD needs everything visible and easy to get to. So with building my cabinetry. Instead of having anything up high other than the cat furniture on my walls. I built a loft bed so that I could have more lower space. I am building rolling cart cabinets for under my kitchen area and bedroom area. So that I can just pull it out, see and get what I need and roll it back. Standing is becoming difficult for me. So I sit on a stool lower to the ground. It is so easy. Each rolling cart is only 8 inches wide. So that I am not tempted to overfill shelves. Thus, not being able to see everything easily. I am also building a rolling bookcase for my books so that I can hang a mirror on the back. As I really want a mirror but do not have wall space to hang one. I am thinking of making a rolling pantry as well. I figured these will look more like rolling walls that I can easily move around in order to get more bang for my tiny space.
I keep a space open to hula hoop and do yoga in.
My elliptical sits out where I see it and can watch tv from it I’ll avoid using it.
And I did have a rebounder trampoline for decades and they’re worth having.
My son adopted a 4 year old nonverbal nd and his little face just lights up when he comes over because cozy velvet sofa, jumpy trampoline, and an indoor silk yoga swing makes my place his happy quiet place.
It’s amazing to see a child who is normal screaming meltdown just be allowed to decompress into a sing humming quietly in a swing or scream giggle bounce on the jumpy thing or curl up with his soft things to watch the same movie on repeat for an afternoon.