I went to a dentist in Oahu who specialized with children. I was blown away. Besides sunglasses to offer, He talked very quietly, had low lighting and offered a blanket. He used a small light on his forehead to see his work. It was very calming!
My dental office (I’ve been their patient for over a decade and my family has been with them for over 25 years) has posters on the ceiling and dangly visual distractions for kids to focus on.
Ha! When I was very young, I bit my dentist. I was normally a quiet and obedient child. He was too scary and the opposite of the dentist you describe. Wrong kind of stims.
@@laraelixirs Treated me like a human being rather than an object. He was just doing a mechanical process, so being gentle and aware would have worked. I've had wonderful dentists as an adult and they all pay attention to their patients. As a child I didn't understand this, but even as an adult I wouldn't return to a dentist like this.
This just reminded me of my high school biology class. I was always doodling or fiddling with something under the table while the teacher talked. One day she called me out and told me "stop that and pay attention" and I recited word for word everything she'd said in the past ten minutes, and then told her "look, I promise you if I look like I'm paying attention, I haven't heard a word you said. If I look distracted, I'm hearing you." Thankfully she was understanding and only got on me a couple times afterwards when she forgot.
My teacher when I was like 11 told me to stop doodling when she was explaining stuff, bc, even if I was able to focus on what she was saying while doing it, others could not (?) so I could be a good example for other kids (wtf actually)
@@ssoffigra woulda told her “ok that’s fine as long as you’re good with me not remembering a single word you’ve said” that’s BS. so glad i was homeschooled i probably would’ve gotten this a lot
I was banned from doodling or fidgeting in 5th grade and they refused to believe that I found either of those things helpful. I was told I couldn't bring fidget toys with me anymore because it was "distracting to other students." After that I pretty much immediately developed trichotillomania, something my eyebrows have never recovered from although thankfully the hair on my head is no longer really thin in the back.
Another "sense" that is not included in your worksheet is the vestibular system. It's really important to some people, so I wanted to mention it here. The vestibular system is our sense of balance and spatial awareness. If you absolutely love or hate things like swings, roller coasters, trampolines or spinning around, you might have hyper- or hyposensitivities in that area and might want to explore that further. (but you may mention that somewhere in your video, idk, I had to get this info out otherwise I won't e able to focus on your words)
i feel like swings can be so chill but as soon as it starts getting too fast or too high i can feel that force pulling on my body and it freaks me tf out lmao
Omg the air smell! Yes! I’m super sensitive to the smell of air and I categorize seasons by how the air smells. I can always tell when the seasons are in the process of changing too because each season has their own scent.
one of the reasons i feel so uncomfortable during summer is because of the smell. the air smells so dense, whereas in winter it smells loose. i know that probably sounds crazy haha
I can smell worms when they come out of the earth after the rain 🫣 It smells different when there are no worms. Anyway, I’m totally like this. You can catch me saying things like “it smells like winter” hahahaa. Ppl always made me feel weird about it, so I’m glad to see this happens to others too.
I have issues with high pitched noises or unexpected sounds it truly registers as fear in my mind . I use music to stem , and lining things up , reorganizing my purse . “taking inventory “ . Your voice is calming ; it’s exciting to see someone being an advocate for adults on the spectrum who don’t have the resources.
@neopio3869 I like to organize my purse collection 😂 each purse has its own makeup, sunglasses, lip balm. So all I need to add is my wallet when I need one
I have felt so invalid bc when I discovered my neurodivergence and my hypersensitivities, I didn’t know what they were already. I had to figure it out through trial and error and paying really close attention to my body’s signals. This is the first time I’ve heard someone acknowledge that that’s the case for some people and I just want to say thank you. 💕
I’m going through the same process! I feel like I’ve made some progress in trying to understand which stimuli make me feel overwhelmed, but I often still find myself wondering why I’m so snappy and nervous all of a sudden… my poor interoception doesn’t help either 😭 It’s a long and hard journey of self-discovery, but it feels nice to get the accommodations I need 😊
@@spaghetto9836 I think it probably is, although chances are that even before we know, we've already got a few. But, especially for those of us that are used to extensively masking, it can be tough to figure out what we're already doing to stim.
@@kat7659 I feel this. I’m trying to uncover all of my stims. So far I know one of my biggest ones is pacing. I pace to let off “energy” in my body and I do it when I am ranting/talking to myself.
I am a teen and I think I might be autistic, unfortunately, my family doesn't think I'm "autistic enough" or just trying to be "different", but I came to this video to help myself out a bit, and figure out comforts n discomforts. I found this very helpful! I want to try making a list like this, I think regulating my body and mental health and listening to my body can improve my daily life ^_^, so thanks a lot for helping the community!
Your positive attitude is so heart-warming 🥺 Sometimes parents need some time to process things, maybe one day they will slowly come to accept that part of your experience. Lots of older people are afraid of diagnoses like that because back then, psychological treatment was very flawed and even abusive. So your parents maybe don't want to admit your autism because they might be afraid that you'll get treated badly by doctors. But maybe they'll learn that things have changed. 😔 I wish you all the best!
It may be that your family will never accept it (as mine hasn’t) but just know that you know you better than anyone else ever could and if you feel like something isn’t right, you resonate with autistic traits, and autistic coping mechanisms help you and identifying with the label helps you to do more research to make your life better and more livable, it doesn’t really matter if you truly are autistic or if other people think you are. You are valid and you’ve got a whole community supporting you here ♥️
I absolutely hate being stuck in a group of women taking about their boyfriends or whatever. To me it feels like being in jail performing a soul sucking task for eternity. There’s zero upside and an infinite amount of downsides if I don’t perform correctly. I am so relieved I have control over my life now as an adult with a full time income. Being a teen was hell on earth.
Going on a trip with a group of people, being stuck in a noisy restaurant or pub is horrible too. I’m only starting to realize the extent of pain I experienced as a child and younger adult.
I'm literally talking to somebody on Twitter about this right now in huge paragraph forms about how literally nobody in our Neurotypical friend group has fucking any idea how to be interesting in a conversation like a literally all they talk about their work or a boyfriend like do not have hobbies or interests
ohmygod literally. GIRLTALK. (omg random but the caps reminded me. one time i replied to someones comment on instagram in capital letters and she responded “why are you shouting at me” lol i was like damn okay i was excited but uhh LOL anyway girltalk) i swear i could just never relate to anything the girls were saying and of course they couldnt relate back lmao so i really struggled with female friendships until literally last year. ive met a lot of people in less forced environments thankfully and now im very satisfied with my friendships.
@@Atlasintokyo I hate small talk personally but I don't think it's fair to insult others for finding it engaging at all or that they find it interesting. Others could say the same about you if had a special interests they considered boring you know 😅
When I and my husband were attending church with my mom, the church had a youth lockdown party at the county's swim center. Besides swimming you could play racket ball and there was a basketball gym with a track around the edge. So one of our daughters has Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheelchair. So I went along to help her. We went swimming for a while, that was pretty good. Some of the women chaperones for the event had been students that my mother had taught Sunday school to when they had been in 8th grade. I was about 4 years younger. All they talked about all night long was our NFL football team and how to get stains out of their laundry. I thought I was in hell. I used to follow college football so I wasn't out in left field (to mix a metaphor), BUT REALLY! Football and laundry is the only thing they had to talk about! Me and my daughter just hung together and entertained each other with a more varied conversation than that. Still they nattered on and in between chaperoning talked on those 2 subjects for a collective 3 hours. We enjoyed the swimming but I told my daughter if I ever got that boring to smack me.
I can relate to the auditory stims and always having the headphones on. Always got like 50 things in the "watch later" list to listen to whenever I'm doing something that doesn't require my full attention, and now this channel is the latest addition...
Same!!! I love looking at my podcast playlist, waiting to listen to something while doing chores, or walking my dog. My favorite thing right now is cleaning up broken glass from the nearby hills, while listening to a podcast. A repetitive chore, with interesting information on the side. 😅
I literally made a Listen Later playlist, to sort between the videos... cos the Watch later was getting out of hand, and for many I didn't require the visual component
I've had suspicions that im autistic and I'm slowly realizing all my stims and I'm like omg I've been doing this the whole time it just felt so normal and ordinary.
If you're an adult, or even a teenager and haven't been diagnosed, you'd likely be surprised at just how much of your time and energy goes into masking. I've been allowing myself stim time on breaks at work and I actually get some measure of rest when I'm back to work. I always kind of wondered what the real point of breaks are when you just come back and have that much more stuff piled up.
Thank you for bringing up the fact that no diversity can be very uncomfortable for poc. I’ve always felt this way but wasn’t sure if it was autistic related or just me being weird about it.
No, I totally feel the same way, and I'm a white woman. I grew up in a small all-white Midwest town, so when I enter a setting where there's no diversity, it reminds me of that and all the bigoted, garbage attitudes that go along with it. In my adult life it's seemed like even if events have not explicitly excluded POC, if they have not made a point of deliberately INCLUDING POC (and LGBT+, disabilities, etc), they're probably not going to align with my values and I get preemptively anxious. Does that make sense? I can imagine that "preemptive anxiety" is even worse for POC entering those settings.
I'm not diagnosed (though thinking I might be ND) and the need to listen to something while doing things and needing to do things while listening/watching something is really, really resonating with me. And yay for my workplace letting me knit or do another small craft during meetings (also helps me not fall asleep from my hypersomnia).
It's worth noting that there are degrees, and even if you are outside the spectrum, that doesn't mean that you wouldn't have enough going on that you'd need to stim. It's entirely possible to be technically not autistic, but still have pronounced autistic traits that dictate they be cared for.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade yes. And I do have quite a lot of autistic traits but there are also some significant ones I don't have, hence wanting to discuss it with a professional.
I love that your workplace let’s you do that! I have been considering incorporating something physical during meetings (I teach and work in a sewing school/production studio so we’re constantly sewing and working on patterns). I have so much to get done (doing two peoples jobs rn) that I think I could use that as a reason to keep working during meetings… but which may make me less anxious and help me focus.
i knew life was hard for me as an AUDHD person but seeing you talk about every aspect of our sensory struggles was like a slap in the face. like wow … we really have to deal with so much that neurotypical ppl don’t. we are actually so strong and such superstars for living everyday
Going through this helped me realize that knitting is one of my top stims. It's repetitive and deeply calming for me. Portable so I can bring it to appointments, running errands, travelling, socializing. It's also a great icebreaker for others and I'm comfortable answering questions since I get asked the same things over and over like "what are you making?", "how did you learn?", etc. I love knitting and I'm so grateful for this hobby-stim!
My dentist has a comfort menu that you fill out as you check in. You may choose from glasses, neck pillows, bite guards, Netflix, music, noise canceling headphones, 3 different essential oils options to be diffused, blanket (both weighted and not) drinks and snacks while you’re waiting, ear plugs, fidget cube, lights off, heated towel after your procedure. It is so nice to walk in and have it be normal to receive such supports. I don’t have to bring these items with me or explain about my medical ptsd and feel weird for wanting and needing extra comforts in order to stay on top of my dental health. And as ritzy as the accommodations sound, it doesn’t cost me more than other dentists.
My mum and I like the describe our ND as DJ sliders (like, the remix boards), and our environment pushes the sliders around and we have to, somehow, make the music sound good
Hello. I just wanted to say that yesterday I had a super difficult day at work and I was very stressed. I went into one of our „thinking pods“ which is a slightly darker and noise proof room which we use for meetings and I allowed myself to stim (rocking back and forth, slapping my thighs, tapping my feet, flapping my hands, humming) and I really REALLY needed that. I felt a little better afterward. I am still embarrassed about my stims and I even suppress them at home, but in that moment I was so overwhelmed and it helped so much.. What I am trying to say is that I am thankful that you make content about stimming
keep in mind there are more senses than just those 5, theres balance, temperature, pain, proprioception, spatial awareness, hunger, thirst, and probably more i for one get anxious when walking on paths that are sometimes slanted, sometimes straight because it throws off my balance
I know the sun smell, but I really enjoy it! Particularly a car that has been sunbathing or if someone's hair has been in the sun. I hate the smell of plastic that's been sitting in the sun though.
Omg yes baths! A hot bath settles and calms me the way nothing else does and is often also helpful when I have stomach issues or when something has me all out-of-whack... a bath just does it for me. Fixes all the problems if given enough time.
Cold showers calm my anxiety or when having a panic attack, I just stand under the 🚿 cold as it can... And it works warming me .. normally I'm a cold feet and hands kinda person/ weighted blanket during summer!😅
33:52 I also stim to express positive emotions (apparently to get rid of extra energy generated from positive emotions) like excitement, happiness etc. or just sometimes to stop boredom.
One of my ultimate favorite smells is earth after rain/ or wet eart/soil.. red earth/soil! I smell differentiate between different types of soil .. also the sound of raindrops calm me deeply, I used to put on long hours audios of rainforest with rain sounds and birds when I felt overwhelmed or depressed.. never knew these were kinds of stims.. Wow I'm discovering so much about my differentness and potential autism/ADHD and I'm loving it and super grateful ❤
Hey there I'm an autistic person who was diagnosed as a toddler and b/c my parents discontinued services, I didn't get the help I needed, let alone even realize I was autistic until now. I now have the blessing of treating kids like me as an Occupational Therapy Assistant but I don't have resources for myself. So thank you. I'll be binging these vids. 💖
It's worth mentioning (apologies if you mention this later on, I'm at 5:50 ) that people can experience both hypo and hypersensitivity. Combined or fluctuating, alternating. This is common in AuDHD folk but also presents among all Neurodivergent people, it can be super challenging! I personally ind it difficult to pin down what I find comfortable or uncomfortable because it can change so drastically depending on other factors. Like a shower can sometimes even be simultaneously sensory heaven and hell at once 😬
To wash dishes I always watch favorite UA-cam channels, stand on a jute rug over a more cushioned rug, scented candle, a different scent meyers cleaning day dish soap to enjoy. Plus I watched Rajiv surendra’s video “ how to wash dishes like a pro” video. All these things help me enjoy it now. When I fold laundry I lay a fleece blanket over my living room rug and sit there and fold on it while watching a movie plus scented candle. This all is for autism or adhd. Also having a drink like a kombucha or Gatorade helps.
omg when you mentioned no diversity as a visual discomfort - that really hit me! as a hairstylist i sometimes experienced being in an environment full of blonde cis women & remember saying thats funny but looking at it in retrospect i realize how uncomfortable i actually was with that + knowing that i feel comfortable when theres a diversity of people around feels good
You know white cis blonde women can be neurodivergent too right? Some of them may have been masking, especially in that kind of environment. Please don’t judge us all so harshly. It’s hard for us to keep up with that sort of act as well tbh so I just avoid the culture of visiting beauty salons or having a circle of girlfriends.
I felt that way when visiting my cousins. They are the perfect American nuclear family picture perfect and lived in a neighborhood soooo white that I thought I stumbled TrumpCity. I’m Poc so I felt so paranoid there trying to make myself invisible bc of this uhhh
@@Maria7Mariathey weren’t saying that blonde cis women can’t be ND they were just saying it makes them uncomfortable when there’s no diversity. it’s just a visual thing. it has nothing to do with the ppl as individuals tho
I have unfortunately found that alcohol is my social loophole to avoiding the burnout from masking/scripts… if I’m drinking enough I can stop masking and nobody can tell if I’m Different™️ or just too drunk (hopefully). The downside to being an extrovert with this strategy is the alcoholism
This is freaking me out because a lot of what you are listing in the beginning is identical to me lol. EVERYTHING you have described it what I like and don't like. I am not diagnosed with autism. I have been told that I should get tested, but the Veterans Administration doesn't cover it where I live, or they just can't find anyone to do that sort of testing. I do have Bipolar II, PTSD, and BPD. The smells of the air was 100% spot on. Always seems like the different light spectrum of the day has a weird smell to it. Especially if it's mid-day and rain is coming in. It always makes me a bit unsettled maybe a bit hyper because it's not the normal warm smell. Like, the world is at it's peak heat absorption lol. The afternoon always smells like the earth has cooled off. It's like when cookies get done baking and they are left out to cool off. You can smell them really strong when they come out, then it just slowly dissapates later on and the smell in the afternoon going into the evening is sort of like that. It just tones down I guess. To be clear, I know that when rain is coming grass emits a particular sent, I forget why, but it does that, just like the smell of cut grass isn't actually the cut grass. It's the chemicals the uncut grass emits warning the other grass that it's being cut lol, it's weird, but it's true lol. Anyway, it's just really odd that the first part of this I related to strongly. The rest gets more in-depth and I don't think i've actually thought about my senses that much before. I probably need to though. You mentioned the way people talk as well. I also don't like hard S sounds and I can't STAND people that are LOUD lol. That makes me so uncomfortable lol. Anyway, just very, very, strange that I can relate to that beginning part. I've just never thought about it much.
I love that you record yourself doing the worksheet yourself and explain each of the prompts/lists. Makes it so much easier for me to understand what is being asked!
This is the first time I've ever heard it put into words- the buzzing trapped inside of my body feeling. Like this scratchy fuzzy clawing thing wanting to turn my skin all inside out. It feels like I will just implode if something doesn't change RIGHT THEN. I bought the work book, I'm going through it with you. I was diagnosed at 26, and haven't had much opportunity to do any foundational work like this. I am really grateful. I noticed something on Etsy, there are so many "ADHD planners" and "autistic workbooks" that were in the 'relevant' category after searching yours, but they all seem to be hundreds of pages of all monotone black and white or the officey blue scales. The art work and color in yours makes me feel really comfortable, and genuinely happy about doing it. The others feel intimidating and like I would get lost and confused if I wasn't in a state of hyper fixation. Which, maybe they are for hyper fixation? All I know is that I can really feel how much care and attention was put into this workbook and I want to express that to you ❤
I've been trying to replace the words "meltdown" and "shutdown" with "overload" or simply say or signal that I'm too overwhelmed to function in those extreme moments. I personally hold a strong distaste for the use of "meltdown" after realizing the connection it has with an imagine of a small child throwing a tamper tantrum because their parents wouldn't give them something they wanted. I feel like it's infantilizing for a grown autistic adult to be equated to such a concept, especially when it isn't even accurate -- it's just that my sensory inputs have been taking in far more than they can handle and I need everything to stop before I can begin to process and calm down from everything. So, that's my personal take on preferring to say sensory overload over things like meltdown or shutdown due to the connection that the latter two have to screaming children, even if only on a subconscious level.
I just realized that as I got into my twenties I let go of so many of my comforts. Most because I had this sense and was told that I was grown and needed to let those things go. The less and less comforts I had the more I actually registered the wild and crushing discomfort at like literally everything in life.
I am obsessed, for a variety of reasons!!! One, at first I wasn’t sure how this would go since it’s a longer video but halfway through (and I’m hooked the whole time mind you even with ADHD) I realized it’s like body doubling! I’m going to order and go back through it with you so I’ll actually work on it instead of seeing it as “another task to do.” Two, I have had such a good time following along as you wrote out your sensory likes and dislikes, even seeing as you uncovered new realizations about yourself. I laughed and nodded along like you were really talking to me 😂 thank you so much for this and great job designing it - I’ll be purchasing for sure. I recently realized I didn’t cook with garlic or onions, even though they’re crucial, because of the smell and touch factor so I’m going to get a little mincer so I don’t have to touch them. Your video helped me see I could apply that thinking to a lot of stuff in my life.
I discovered I have autism this year and it’s been such a freeing experience. uncovering my stims and unlearning things I’ve done to hide myself my whole life has been amazing. I had a test today and just felt awful and bad and I just starting shaking my head like crazy for a few seconds and immediately felt better like I knew I couldn’t do my normal stims right then so it was just really relieving to know this stuff now :)
This was so validating to hear. I constantly feel like I need something to listen to too when I'm doing work/tasks around the house. I thought maybe it was just an anxiety thing, but it's validating to know that it's more about what helps me stay focused and having something I can keep my attention on that is helpful. ♥
Talking about wanting to run around in the theater. There's a puppet center near me that has sensory friendly showings. It allows for Neurodivergent folks to get up and walk around or leave and come back. The lights also aren't completely off, they're just very dim. I know a couple of my local movie theaters have sensory friendly showings as well, but they're specifically catered to kids :// I wish more places would have sensory friendly showings. Oh! And the puppet theater has sunglasses, earplugs, and headphones all available at request! They also have a story map and I LOVE IT. I really really wish more places would create story maps.
11:50 It feels really good to hear someone else talk about this, my stress really increases when I notice I'm the only "representation" of a community in the room, and the social roles get confusing.
One sound that makes me want to scream is the hum of fans installed in a house/apartment, etc. Where I live now, they hooked the bathroom fans to the light switch, so if you turn on the light, the fan automatically turns on, too. Omg. Almost as bad as being in a room with a droning fan is being in a nearby room, and hearing the fan humming thru the walls. Argh!
I honestly love musky sents like, City Rain, (Strong perfume/lotion/hand sanitizer/etc), old books, dusty rooms, and specifically "mahogany wood" sented hygiene products.
I was diagnosed at a young age, but I’ve never really had the proper support nor teaching about stuns and all the nitty gritty about being autistic, so I really appreciate this as it feels like I’m uncovering my real self in a way
I can’t even explain how invaluable this video is 😭🙏🏽 .. I wouldn’t have known how to fill this out nor would I have thought of the things you wrote down and I literally resonate with practically every single one on every sheet. So so grateful!!! 💖
This workbook is so great. An idea for future workbooks may be to include the vestibular sense (movement), as I find that with my Autism, many of my stims can be seen with that. Overall it is a great product I just bought and am so excited to work through.
04:50 - You just described me. Literally - i just recently discovered that I'm likely autistic (Thank you to everyone who put their late-life diagnosis stories out there - i found you at the time in my life where i was grasping at straws to keep my shit together) and I am always tense, always on edge, always worried, always just pushing through this that or the other thing.
I haven’t watched the video yet, but I just wanted to say that your channel is amazing! Watching your videos is helping me gather more information and learn more about autism and ADHD :) Thank you so much for providing high-quality content like this!
Thank you so much for going thru this yourself. As someone who also has ADHD but is coming to the realization that I am autistic I feel like I don't know what my stims are bc I've been masking for so long (32 years old) and with having rapid fire thoughts when trying to answer a question that I've never really asked myself is overwhelming and would take so much more time and energy to complete. Your channel has been helpful and comforting. Thank you!
Immediately bought 4 of your workbooks!! This is such a fun way to get to know yourself and tbh I feel like you’re an angel because I’ve been asking for something like this for so long 😭 I was diagnosed with ADHD and unofficially with bipolar disorder but I really think the bipolar might be either a misdiagnosis or a side effect of being treated and expected to act neurodivergent my whole life and constant burnout. I feel like a disappointment because I was supposed to grow up and be a successful adult yet I’m still a kid and I don’t understand how to do adult things like others do, I really can’t. I tried and I ended up having daily panic attacks because I just couldn’t study or produce after being in a cold sterile and bright classroom with people that make me uncomfortable for 4 HOURS 4 DAYS A WEEK. I used to go out and do fun stuff with my friends every weekend and even go out to loud bars and clubs but my burnout got to a point where all I wanted to do in my free time was sleep, play escapist video games and FaceTime my friend who was also playing escapist video games for similar reasons. It’s so fun and we still like to do it sometimes but I wanted to excel in my field and create yet I couldn’t… I couldn’t even eat or take care of myself and my pets properly. I got medicated and it helped to stop the panic attacks and make me think more like neurodivergent people in the way of “yeah I feel horrible and disgusting but it is what it is” but I really just want to be able to work and create without feeling bad because I deserve better, my loved ones deserve to see me happy and because my art reflects how I feel and I don’t want to do dark depressive art forever. I hope these workbooks help me (and I know they will) cope in healthier ways so I can love myself better and be the artist I deserve to be. Thank you :))
Ahh! The temp/weather based stuff😌 I used to work in a freezer warehouse, and with the right thermals and simple clothes under the insulating suits the company provided, it was THE BEST possible feeling! Like i could just curl up and nap right there in that freezer! And the feeling of the warmth of the sun on my bare skin with a chilled breeze🥰👌 Best Afternoon Ever! 💛🤍💜🖤
Good info for sensory sensitivity, but nothing on emotional regulation? The biggest trigger for stimming, for me, has always been emotional overload from masking, social interactions, relational misunderstandings or communication breakdowns, trauma, loss of control or order, etc. Some stimming is also unconscious, and self-harming, and can depend on the intensity of the trigger. Just wanted to note this as a shout-out to those who have other triggers and stims.
Being in a car for longer periods of time always sucks - unless I am the driver and can control when and where to stop and how fast we go. Also we have this rule that the driver has the power over what music is played and how loud it is played. So on longer trips I'm pretty much always the driver by choice and for example my best friend really appreciates that cause driving will usually stress him out after a while.
For taste, I'm not sure if it's a stim exactly, but I love and almost require acidity in most if not everything I eat. I'll add lemon or lime or a bit of vinegar to most things I cook.
One thing I can say is I feel most free and me at music festivals. People for the most part are extremely nice, and I usually don't mask. I always have a trusted friend and some earplugs. The biggest downside for me is the visual aspect. Sometimes the lights are too much and I end up just dancing with my eyes closed.
i love your content so much!! it comforts me a lot and you break things down in a really concise way that isn't too overwhelming so i can help regulate myself and my autism in much more healthier ways
I just want to say how much I not only appreciate your knowledge, ability to convey concepts and how well spoken you are, but I also love your aesthetic and editing style. It makes someone like me, who’s very visual and creative, even more drawn to your content. I subscribed and have been binge watching your videos. Thank you so much for your hard work and guidance💛
I'm not autistic but I've been super interested in autism this past year and I love to learn new things about it. This video is very informative and it rises so many questions in my mind. Could stimming even benefit neurotypical people ? I don't know any autistic person (at least not that I know of) with who I can talk about that kind of things so it's an honor for me to listen to you guys exchange about your experiences. I feel like I'm learning so much about what it is to be human thanks to that.
yes it does actually! stimming is a behavior that everyone actually engages with. it's just that the intensity/frequency and what it is used for changes when someone is autistic or adhd. most everyone tends to stim in some way when their system registers a need for some self soothing. in neurotypical people this can look like hair twirling, foot tapping, etc.
This video is so very validating. At 63, and misdiagnosed as bi-polar 9 yrs ago, I have self diagnosed as autistic and ADHD. The more I learn, the more I own it! Thank you for providing your personal experience to help us repair the torn segments of our own tapestries. I love you ❣️🌞🤗🙏🏼
My favorite comfort stim is the tactile feel of fidgeting with folding knives, driving with a manual transmition, and a good mechanical pen or pencil is also great.
U hit on something that ive tried to find out online, passive overstimulation, i was really curious if things subconciously set me off like sounds or lights, things that i didnt realise were stressin my brain out because they ddidnt bother me, u just covered that after me searching for months thank you, my workplace went from having very bright lights to having LED lights that are motion sensored so most of my stockroom is in darkness until u walk down an aisle so there are lights going off and on forever, and some timers are different so one aisle will have a light that switches off after a minute and another 30 seconds, the day they were installed i felt like crying and i later thought maybe it was because of the lighting change
Hi! As a recently (at age 40) diagnosed ADHDr, with a strong suspicion that I am also autistic. I have loved the first few of your videos I have watched. Already subscribed and will be binging a lot of your previously published videos. Thanks for sharing your voice and story!!
I was planning on watching like maybe 10 minutes of this video while I ate dinner but I got so invested that I ended up purchasing/downloading the workbook and going through it with you. I am in awe of how eye-opening this was and how helpful it was to begin to understand why I do and don't do certain things and WHY certain activities and situations are so unpleasant for me while others are so pleasing. Thank you so much for this!
Hi, thank you for this worksheet. I feel like I can be both hypo and hyper sensitive at the same time sometimes: I can feel overwhelmed by the noises around me and need them to quiet but needing to hear the noises I make (opening something, cooking, doing things,…) to be okay
So happy you mention the mental stim! Thats why I like guided mediation to access my higher mind, because I can then relax bacause my ‘lower’ mind is being stimulated - I understand myself better now❤️
Binging on these videos and love it. VA will not recognize me as Autistic so this information helps me adapt to the reality that we are wired different than the rest of the world.
It's funny how a lot of elements of discomfort for you are comforting to me because of differing experiences. Blue light and sterility are things I take comfort in because I spent a lot of time in hospitals/clinical environments as a kid. I find artificial yellow light to be super painful though.
I also hate artificial yellow light! Especially at night, idk why it makes it so hot in the room & I immediately feel the room cooling down when I turn the light off. My boyfriend doesn’t feel it
At 10 I noticed how much more I began to hate sounds. For almost 12 years I thought I had “misophonia.” After getting my adhd diagnosis I feel that I might be Audhd. I don’t like sounds of chewing,loud televisions,balloon pops, loud clicking, loud talking. I have so many things that stress me out and I use music and headphone to stop the stresses. Ifeel so comfortable knowing why ❤
I found out about Misophonia about a year ago and thought that was my issue. But after learning that I'm Autistic 2 days ago and maybe a few other things like ocd, etc. I am now also wondering if Misophonia is just a really hard to thing to mask from and it's really a branch of Autism. Thanks for saying what I was thinking while watching this video.
I've learned our mind is also a sense organ, and it creates thought according to every specific situation. I'd say there are certain environments, people and conversations that create unpleasent thoughts in my head, and others that create pleasent ones, or even absence of thoughts, which would be a great stim
In college a classmate of mine had a voice that literally made me nauseous. He was having a debate with my teacher and I had to excuse myself from class just to get away from his voice. This was long before I realized I had autism. I had always chalked it up to some sort of weird happenstance. He ended up leaving school for his mental health and I thought maybe I had sensed it? Ha, now I think his voice just set me off. Poor guy tho. I hope he got the help he needed even if his voice drove me crazy.
Thank you so much for this video. This is a completely new understanding of stims for me. I’m on the waiting list for my autism diagnosis so that will be helpful.
I just found your channel; this is the second video I've watched, and it felt so validating. There are so many activities I have avoided in the past because they made me feel uncomfortable on a visceral level. However, the people around me who I expressed concerns to always made me feel inferior for the avoidance. There was always this undertone of 'you just need to push through, don't let those things bother you, you'll get used to it,' and just generally downplaying the severity as if I were exaggerating for dramatic effect.
Thank you for an informative video, Irene 🥰 I rewatched this episode while filling out the workbook you made, and it's funny how these sensory aversions and comforts are things I already know, but reflect on in a different way with actually writing them down, and putting them in context with situations. In a world where I feel like the ultimate goal is to be able to do everything you need to do without "distractions" and to learn to live with the silence, I feel so liberated here, with you encouraging people to utilize their stims ❤ I finally feel like the things I feel the urge to do, to make it through daily tasks are finally validated!
That's not surprising, especially if you didn't grow up consciously doing these things. There is a fair amount of wisdom in the body, and often times it knows what it wants to do and what it doesn't want to do. Most of the time, it's OK to just go with it, provided it doesn't involve harming yourself or causing social problems. I didn't realize that the reason I'm so fond of saying the name of a local Korean shop is vocal stimming. It just is a name that is fun to say over, and over again.
I never felt the same after high school. I put so much energy into coming off as an extraverted and bubbly person. I felt like a fake and I knew I was different from others. It felt like I was putting on an act and this caused me to always think I was living in a simulation and when I brought this up people would say I was weird. I became so much more aware of my true personality as I got into college and I eventually figured out my stims. Something I did a lot as a child and now was spinning or swaying my head side to side. Sometimes spinning would give me butterflies and it felt amazing and helped calm me. Spinning in chairs is a nice feeling too. I also notice that I give myself goosebumps all over my body and it feels nice too. Touching and feeling textures is something I do a lot too. Not sure if this counts but I group words in pairs of two and count them. Ex. (How was your day today?) this sentence has 2 1/2 pairs. Maybe this one is OCD related idk.
I already sort of do this, I try to pay attention to what is making me comfortable/uncomfortable in the moment. But I like how you laid it out by sense - it helped me think of some things I didn't notice before. And tying it to why we do/avoid tasks is really helpful!
one of my auditory stims is your voice actually I find that coloring canvases (idk what they're called correctly in english, in my language they're basically 'pictures by numbers') combined with listeting to your videos as podcasts make me so content and peaceful (so audio + visual + touch stims (I really like the feeling of paint being brushed on the canvas) + intellectual ? in a way - I enjoy the information and reflections you give and the thoughts all of this evokes in my brain)
Thanks for this excellent presentation of stims. I forget about smells, but that wonderful fresh smell after a summer rain is one I love. Textures of food is a big one for me, anything slippery or slimy especially. My autistic dad hated lumps in mashed potatoes. Nails on a blackboard don't bother me at all, but a sound of rough texture scraping gives me chills. So, texture, subtle sounds, smells are all things I never thought about but there it is! Of course loud sounds were obvious, especially jarring ones, bright lights. I don't like loud music unless I can dance to it and move, then it can be fun.
I just purchased your ADHD friendly weekly planner. Thank you for providing such wonderful information at such an affordable price! When I can, I will be purchasing more from you to support the work you're doing and this channel.
Haha, oh my goodness I've had your workbook saved in my etsy favorites for months and finally just bought it-I opened up the how-to link and saw you! :) It just tickled me, because I had no idea it was the same person, and I've been subscribed to you for a while now. Hehe. Anywho-I very much look forward to this workbook! And oh my gosh-100% have the same view on a Dirty vs Messy environment. I hold a way higher "value" (take comfort in?) a clean environment, even if it "looks messy." I'm so glad I found out I'm not alone in that. My partner is the exact opposite (needs it to look clean (really clean!) but doesn't care about contaminations as much as I do), it's just interesting how different we all are! Thank you for making this resource.
Looking forward to going through this and making my own lists. It's interesting to see how many sensory discomforts I actually have. At first, I thought I didn't have any sensory issues, but I'm learning more about myself every day.
I would love to hear any further reflections you have about confined spaces as you described it in this video. That's a big one for me and I'm looking for new accommodations/ways to think about it I haven't considered yet!
Romance novels on Audiobooks+ UA-cam changed my life. Also my huge perfume and lotion collection. When l have a pain flare, l go to bed, let a romance novel play, and put on a heavenly scent- and fall asleep in a flash. Recommend a sweet mix of 2 perfumes- mix Love Don't be Shy + Cheirosa 40. Cheirosa 40 has both a mist and a body lotion l rub on. Of course petting the cat. The feel and smell of his fur. Is so good
I went to a dentist in Oahu who specialized with children. I was blown away. Besides sunglasses to offer, He talked very quietly, had low lighting and offered a blanket. He used a small light on his forehead to see his work. It was very calming!
So nice 🎉 I took my dad recently to a new dentist. Loud bad music and bright god awful lights. It was hell
My dental office (I’ve been their patient for over a decade and my family has been with them for over 25 years) has posters on the ceiling and dangly visual distractions for kids to focus on.
Ha! When I was very young, I bit my dentist. I was normally a quiet and obedient child. He was too scary and the opposite of the dentist you describe. Wrong kind of stims.
@@kdcraft89 can you tell me the details and what you wished what they would have done instead ?
@@laraelixirs Treated me like a human being rather than an object. He was just doing a mechanical process, so being gentle and aware would have worked. I've had wonderful dentists as an adult and they all pay attention to their patients. As a child I didn't understand this, but even as an adult I wouldn't return to a dentist like this.
This just reminded me of my high school biology class. I was always doodling or fiddling with something under the table while the teacher talked. One day she called me out and told me "stop that and pay attention" and I recited word for word everything she'd said in the past ten minutes, and then told her "look, I promise you if I look like I'm paying attention, I haven't heard a word you said. If I look distracted, I'm hearing you." Thankfully she was understanding and only got on me a couple times afterwards when she forgot.
The same thing happened to me! After that the teacher didn't mind me doodling while he spoke.
same when i’m paying absolute attention i am not focusing lol. i might be listening but i cannot remember anything that was said lmao
My teacher when I was like 11 told me to stop doodling when she was explaining stuff, bc, even if I was able to focus on what she was saying while doing it, others could not (?) so I could be a good example for other kids (wtf actually)
@@ssoffigra woulda told her “ok that’s fine as long as you’re good with me not remembering a single word you’ve said”
that’s BS. so glad i was homeschooled i probably would’ve gotten this a lot
I was banned from doodling or fidgeting in 5th grade and they refused to believe that I found either of those things helpful. I was told I couldn't bring fidget toys with me anymore because it was "distracting to other students." After that I pretty much immediately developed trichotillomania, something my eyebrows have never recovered from although thankfully the hair on my head is no longer really thin in the back.
Another "sense" that is not included in your worksheet is the vestibular system. It's really important to some people, so I wanted to mention it here. The vestibular system is our sense of balance and spatial awareness. If you absolutely love or hate things like swings, roller coasters, trampolines or spinning around, you might have hyper- or hyposensitivities in that area and might want to explore that further.
(but you may mention that somewhere in your video, idk, I had to get this info out otherwise I won't e able to focus on your words)
i feel like swings can be so chill but as soon as it starts getting too fast or too high i can feel that force pulling on my body and it freaks me tf out lmao
@@dazey8706 same 😭
bro, i love spinning in circles bc its fun but swings? just no
Vestibular, proprioceptive and interoceptive are three that she's actually missing!
Good call
Omg the air smell! Yes! I’m super sensitive to the smell of air and I categorize seasons by how the air smells. I can always tell when the seasons are in the process of changing too because each season has their own scent.
one of the reasons i feel so uncomfortable during summer is because of the smell. the air smells so dense, whereas in winter it smells loose. i know that probably sounds crazy haha
Dude I thought I was legitimately insane for smelling each season differently
damn I wish I had this level of scent sensitivity
@@sweatergod5386 I can smell cockroaches and know when they're in a room 💀
I can smell worms when they come out of the earth after the rain 🫣 It smells different when there are no worms. Anyway, I’m totally like this. You can catch me saying things like “it smells like winter” hahahaa. Ppl always made me feel weird about it, so I’m glad to see this happens to others too.
I have issues with high pitched noises or unexpected sounds it truly registers as fear in my mind . I use music to stem , and lining things up , reorganizing my purse . “taking inventory “ . Your voice is calming ; it’s exciting to see someone being an advocate for adults on the spectrum who don’t have the resources.
Omg, I have the exact stims as you. Love reorganizing my bags or purses
I found my people c: i have these too!
you can hear when an old TV is on can't you?
High pitched noises are the absolute worst
@neopio3869 I like to organize my purse collection 😂 each purse has its own makeup, sunglasses, lip balm. So all I need to add is my wallet when I need one
I have felt so invalid bc when I discovered my neurodivergence and my hypersensitivities, I didn’t know what they were already. I had to figure it out through trial and error and paying really close attention to my body’s signals. This is the first time I’ve heard someone acknowledge that that’s the case for some people and I just want to say thank you. 💕
It’s wonderful to have someone acknowledge it, isn’t it? Thankful too.💕
I’m going through the same process! I feel like I’ve made some progress in trying to understand which stimuli make me feel overwhelmed, but I often still find myself wondering why I’m so snappy and nervous all of a sudden… my poor interoception doesn’t help either 😭
It’s a long and hard journey of self-discovery, but it feels nice to get the accommodations I need 😊
I thought that was just the average experience for autistic people... 😂
@@spaghetto9836 I think it probably is, although chances are that even before we know, we've already got a few. But, especially for those of us that are used to extensively masking, it can be tough to figure out what we're already doing to stim.
@@kat7659 I feel this. I’m trying to uncover all of my stims. So far I know one of my biggest ones is pacing. I pace to let off “energy” in my body and I do it when I am ranting/talking to myself.
I am a teen and I think I might be autistic, unfortunately, my family doesn't think I'm "autistic enough" or just trying to be "different", but I came to this video to help myself out a bit, and figure out comforts n discomforts. I found this very helpful! I want to try making a list like this, I think regulating my body and mental health and listening to my body can improve my daily life ^_^, so thanks a lot for helping the community!
23:59 (marking where I finished)
My family were the same. Just got my diagnosis and now they’re silent 🤫
Your positive attitude is so heart-warming 🥺 Sometimes parents need some time to process things, maybe one day they will slowly come to accept that part of your experience. Lots of older people are afraid of diagnoses like that because back then, psychological treatment was very flawed and even abusive. So your parents maybe don't want to admit your autism because they might be afraid that you'll get treated badly by doctors. But maybe they'll learn that things have changed. 😔
I wish you all the best!
Same here
It may be that your family will never accept it (as mine hasn’t) but just know that you know you better than anyone else ever could and if you feel like something isn’t right, you resonate with autistic traits, and autistic coping mechanisms help you and identifying with the label helps you to do more research to make your life better and more livable, it doesn’t really matter if you truly are autistic or if other people think you are. You are valid and you’ve got a whole community supporting you here ♥️
I absolutely hate being stuck in a group of women taking about their boyfriends or whatever. To me it feels like being in jail performing a soul sucking task for eternity. There’s zero upside and an infinite amount of downsides if I don’t perform correctly. I am so relieved I have control over my life now as an adult with a full time income. Being a teen was hell on earth.
Going on a trip with a group of people, being stuck in a noisy restaurant or pub is horrible too. I’m only starting to realize the extent of pain I experienced as a child and younger adult.
I'm literally talking to somebody on Twitter about this right now in huge paragraph forms about how literally nobody in our Neurotypical friend group has fucking any idea how to be interesting in a conversation like a literally all they talk about their work or a boyfriend like do not have hobbies or interests
ohmygod literally. GIRLTALK. (omg random but the caps reminded me. one time i replied to someones comment on instagram in capital letters and she responded “why are you shouting at me” lol i was like damn okay i was excited but uhh LOL anyway girltalk) i swear i could just never relate to anything the girls were saying and of course they couldnt relate back lmao so i really struggled with female friendships until literally last year. ive met a lot of people in less forced environments thankfully and now im very satisfied with my friendships.
@@Atlasintokyo I hate small talk personally but I don't think it's fair to insult others for finding it engaging at all or that they find it interesting. Others could say the same about you if had a special interests they considered boring you know 😅
When I and my husband were attending church with my mom, the church had a youth lockdown party at the county's swim center. Besides swimming you could play racket ball and there was a basketball gym with a track around the edge. So one of our daughters has Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheelchair. So I went along to help her. We went swimming for a while, that was pretty good. Some of the women chaperones for the event had been students that my mother had taught Sunday school to when they had been in 8th grade. I was about 4 years younger. All they talked about all night long was our NFL football team and how to get stains out of their laundry. I thought I was in hell. I used to follow college football so I wasn't out in left field (to mix a metaphor), BUT REALLY! Football and laundry is the only thing they had to talk about! Me and my daughter just hung together and entertained each other with a more varied conversation than that. Still they nattered on and in between chaperoning talked on those 2 subjects for a collective 3 hours. We enjoyed the swimming but I told my daughter if I ever got that boring to smack me.
omggg i can smell seasons and times of day too!! my absolute favourite is the end of summer where you can smell autumn coming!
You might wanna look up "petrichor" (just in case you didn't know yet), very interesting and they can make it in a lab by now!
Yes! Me too :D x
I assumed it’s the increase of negative ions (ozone) in the air which gives good feelings
I can relate to the auditory stims and always having the headphones on. Always got like 50 things in the "watch later" list to listen to whenever I'm doing something that doesn't require my full attention, and now this channel is the latest addition...
Same!!! I love looking at my podcast playlist, waiting to listen to something while doing chores, or walking my dog. My favorite thing right now is cleaning up broken glass from the nearby hills, while listening to a podcast. A repetitive chore, with interesting information on the side. 😅
I literally made a Listen Later playlist, to sort between the videos... cos the Watch later was getting out of hand, and for many I didn't require the visual component
We should all make a special interest in neurodivergency.
I've had suspicions that im autistic and I'm slowly realizing all my stims and I'm like omg I've been doing this the whole time it just felt so normal and ordinary.
If you're an adult, or even a teenager and haven't been diagnosed, you'd likely be surprised at just how much of your time and energy goes into masking. I've been allowing myself stim time on breaks at work and I actually get some measure of rest when I'm back to work. I always kind of wondered what the real point of breaks are when you just come back and have that much more stuff piled up.
Thank you for bringing up the fact that no diversity can be very uncomfortable for poc. I’ve always felt this way but wasn’t sure if it was autistic related or just me being weird about it.
I believe this is just called anxiety
I love the fact that more people can know more about themselves recently (^^) really happy for you
This. I always bring another Jew with me
No, I totally feel the same way, and I'm a white woman. I grew up in a small all-white Midwest town, so when I enter a setting where there's no diversity, it reminds me of that and all the bigoted, garbage attitudes that go along with it. In my adult life it's seemed like even if events have not explicitly excluded POC, if they have not made a point of deliberately INCLUDING POC (and LGBT+, disabilities, etc), they're probably not going to align with my values and I get preemptively anxious. Does that make sense? I can imagine that "preemptive anxiety" is even worse for POC entering those settings.
White Pride Worldwide🤍
my favourite thing is that her videos are always sensory-friendly, have calming music and she speaks softly
yes
100% the smell of warm air and of spring makes me so happy, I'm just aggressively inhaling all the time
I'm not diagnosed (though thinking I might be ND) and the need to listen to something while doing things and needing to do things while listening/watching something is really, really resonating with me. And yay for my workplace letting me knit or do another small craft during meetings (also helps me not fall asleep from my hypersomnia).
It's worth noting that there are degrees, and even if you are outside the spectrum, that doesn't mean that you wouldn't have enough going on that you'd need to stim. It's entirely possible to be technically not autistic, but still have pronounced autistic traits that dictate they be cared for.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade yes. And I do have quite a lot of autistic traits but there are also some significant ones I don't have, hence wanting to discuss it with a professional.
I love that your workplace let’s you do that! I have been considering incorporating something physical during meetings (I teach and work in a sewing school/production studio so we’re constantly sewing and working on patterns). I have so much to get done (doing two peoples jobs rn) that I think I could use that as a reason to keep working during meetings… but which may make me less anxious and help me focus.
@@LaceyMyriah You should definitely try it!
I crochet as a stim a lot too, that's so awesome that they are understanding
i knew life was hard for me as an AUDHD person but seeing you talk about every aspect of our sensory struggles was like a slap in the face. like wow … we really have to deal with so much that neurotypical ppl don’t. we are actually so strong and such superstars for living everyday
Going through this helped me realize that knitting is one of my top stims. It's repetitive and deeply calming for me. Portable so I can bring it to appointments, running errands, travelling, socializing. It's also a great icebreaker for others and I'm comfortable answering questions since I get asked the same things over and over like "what are you making?", "how did you learn?", etc. I love knitting and I'm so grateful for this hobby-stim!
I love the smell to blown out candles cause it reminds me of birthdays as a child ❤
My dentist has a comfort menu that you fill out as you check in. You may choose from glasses, neck pillows, bite guards, Netflix, music, noise canceling headphones, 3 different essential oils options to be diffused, blanket (both weighted and not) drinks and snacks while you’re waiting, ear plugs, fidget cube, lights off, heated towel after your procedure.
It is so nice to walk in and have it be normal to receive such supports. I don’t have to bring these items with me or explain about my medical ptsd and feel weird for wanting and needing extra comforts in order to stay on top of my dental health.
And as ritzy as the accommodations sound, it doesn’t cost me more than other dentists.
My mum and I like the describe our ND as DJ sliders (like, the remix boards), and our environment pushes the sliders around and we have to, somehow, make the music sound good
Hello. I just wanted to say that yesterday I had a super difficult day at work and I was very stressed. I went into one of our „thinking pods“ which is a slightly darker and noise proof room which we use for meetings and I allowed myself to stim (rocking back and forth, slapping my thighs, tapping my feet, flapping my hands, humming) and I really REALLY needed that. I felt a little better afterward. I am still embarrassed about my stims and I even suppress them at home, but in that moment I was so overwhelmed and it helped so much..
What I am trying to say is that I am thankful that you make content about stimming
keep in mind there are more senses than just those 5, theres balance, temperature, pain, proprioception, spatial awareness, hunger, thirst, and probably more
i for one get anxious when walking on paths that are sometimes slanted, sometimes straight because it throws off my balance
I was diagnosed 8 months ago, this is one of the first times I've ever heard properly about stimming, thank you
The smell of people or certain objects after they have been out in the sun on a hot day really makes my skin crawl. I call in the “sun smell”
good thing i dont like the sun
@@randomnoob101flyhightweek I’m not particularly a fan either, that weird smell just makes it so much worse
I know the sun smell, but I really enjoy it! Particularly a car that has been sunbathing or if someone's hair has been in the sun. I hate the smell of plastic that's been sitting in the sun though.
god if I knew someone in my life hated that (but probably never shared it) I would feel betrayed lol
Me ‘you smell like outside. Outside bad. Go shower. New clothes.’ 🤮
Omg yes baths! A hot bath settles and calms me the way nothing else does and is often also helpful when I have stomach issues or when something has me all out-of-whack... a bath just does it for me. Fixes all the problems if given enough time.
Cold showers calm my anxiety or when having a panic attack, I just stand under the 🚿 cold as it can... And it works warming me .. normally I'm a cold feet and hands kinda person/ weighted blanket during summer!😅
I love smelling my cats fur too. It comforts me if I'm wound up.
33:52 I also stim to express positive emotions (apparently to get rid of extra energy generated from positive emotions) like excitement, happiness etc. or just sometimes to stop boredom.
Same. My son does the same thing
One of my ultimate favorite smells is earth after rain/ or wet eart/soil.. red earth/soil! I smell differentiate between different types of soil .. also the sound of raindrops calm me deeply, I used to put on long hours audios of rainforest with rain sounds and birds when I felt overwhelmed or depressed.. never knew these were kinds of stims.. Wow I'm discovering so much about my differentness and potential autism/ADHD and I'm loving it and super grateful ❤
Hey there I'm an autistic person who was diagnosed as a toddler and b/c my parents discontinued services, I didn't get the help I needed, let alone even realize I was autistic until now. I now have the blessing of treating kids like me as an Occupational Therapy Assistant but I don't have resources for myself. So thank you. I'll be binging these vids. 💖
When she was listing tactile comforts and said she enjoys “cool weather” I heard “full leather” at first and got shivers 🤦🏻♀️😂
It's worth mentioning (apologies if you mention this later on, I'm at 5:50 ) that people can experience both hypo and hypersensitivity. Combined or fluctuating, alternating. This is common in AuDHD folk but also presents among all Neurodivergent people, it can be super challenging!
I personally ind it difficult to pin down what I find comfortable or uncomfortable because it can change so drastically depending on other factors. Like a shower can sometimes even be simultaneously sensory heaven and hell at once 😬
If anyone has an explanation for how this works, like neurologically or whatever, I'd be super interested.
To wash dishes I always watch favorite UA-cam channels, stand on a jute rug over a more cushioned rug, scented candle, a different scent meyers cleaning day dish soap to enjoy. Plus I watched Rajiv surendra’s video “ how to wash dishes like a pro” video. All these things help me enjoy it now. When I fold laundry I lay a fleece blanket over my living room rug and sit there and fold on it while watching a movie plus scented candle. This all is for autism or adhd. Also having a drink like a kombucha or Gatorade helps.
I fold like Marie kondo. Learning exciting techniques make chores more fun.
omg when you mentioned no diversity as a visual discomfort - that really hit me! as a hairstylist i sometimes experienced being in an environment full of blonde cis women & remember saying thats funny but looking at it in retrospect i realize how uncomfortable i actually was with that + knowing that i feel comfortable when theres a diversity of people around feels good
I’m blonde and that would bother me too. I like diversity as well.
You know white cis blonde women can be neurodivergent too right? Some of them may have been masking, especially in that kind of environment. Please don’t judge us all so harshly. It’s hard for us to keep up with that sort of act as well tbh so I just avoid the culture of visiting beauty salons or having a circle of girlfriends.
I felt that way when visiting my cousins. They are the perfect American nuclear family picture perfect and lived in a neighborhood soooo white that I thought I stumbled TrumpCity. I’m Poc so I felt so paranoid there trying to make myself invisible bc of this uhhh
I personally feel unsafe in diverse areas.
@@Maria7Mariathey weren’t saying that blonde cis women can’t be ND they were just saying it makes them uncomfortable when there’s no diversity. it’s just a visual thing. it has nothing to do with the ppl as individuals tho
I have unfortunately found that alcohol is my social loophole to avoiding the burnout from masking/scripts… if I’m drinking enough I can stop masking and nobody can tell if I’m Different™️ or just too drunk (hopefully). The downside to being an extrovert with this strategy is the alcoholism
This is freaking me out because a lot of what you are listing in the beginning is identical to me lol. EVERYTHING you have described it what I like and don't like. I am not diagnosed with autism. I have been told that I should get tested, but the Veterans Administration doesn't cover it where I live, or they just can't find anyone to do that sort of testing. I do have Bipolar II, PTSD, and BPD. The smells of the air was 100% spot on. Always seems like the different light spectrum of the day has a weird smell to it. Especially if it's mid-day and rain is coming in. It always makes me a bit unsettled maybe a bit hyper because it's not the normal warm smell. Like, the world is at it's peak heat absorption lol. The afternoon always smells like the earth has cooled off. It's like when cookies get done baking and they are left out to cool off. You can smell them really strong when they come out, then it just slowly dissapates later on and the smell in the afternoon going into the evening is sort of like that. It just tones down I guess.
To be clear, I know that when rain is coming grass emits a particular sent, I forget why, but it does that, just like the smell of cut grass isn't actually the cut grass. It's the chemicals the uncut grass emits warning the other grass that it's being cut lol, it's weird, but it's true lol.
Anyway, it's just really odd that the first part of this I related to strongly. The rest gets more in-depth and I don't think i've actually thought about my senses that much before. I probably need to though. You mentioned the way people talk as well. I also don't like hard S sounds and I can't STAND people that are LOUD lol. That makes me so uncomfortable lol. Anyway, just very, very, strange that I can relate to that beginning part. I've just never thought about it much.
I love that you record yourself doing the worksheet yourself and explain each of the prompts/lists. Makes it so much easier for me to understand what is being asked!
This is the first time I've ever heard it put into words- the buzzing trapped inside of my body feeling. Like this scratchy fuzzy clawing thing wanting to turn my skin all inside out. It feels like I will just implode if something doesn't change RIGHT THEN. I bought the work book, I'm going through it with you. I was diagnosed at 26, and haven't had much opportunity to do any foundational work like this. I am really grateful. I noticed something on Etsy, there are so many "ADHD planners" and "autistic workbooks" that were in the 'relevant' category after searching yours, but they all seem to be hundreds of pages of all monotone black and white or the officey blue scales. The art work and color in yours makes me feel really comfortable, and genuinely happy about doing it. The others feel intimidating and like I would get lost and confused if I wasn't in a state of hyper fixation. Which, maybe they are for hyper fixation? All I know is that I can really feel how much care and attention was put into this workbook and I want to express that to you ❤
Anyone else feel like every stim you have is linked to a certain memory? Like it has its own origin story? Gawrsh this video was so enlightening.
I've been trying to replace the words "meltdown" and "shutdown" with "overload" or simply say or signal that I'm too overwhelmed to function in those extreme moments. I personally hold a strong distaste for the use of "meltdown" after realizing the connection it has with an imagine of a small child throwing a tamper tantrum because their parents wouldn't give them something they wanted. I feel like it's infantilizing for a grown autistic adult to be equated to such a concept, especially when it isn't even accurate -- it's just that my sensory inputs have been taking in far more than they can handle and I need everything to stop before I can begin to process and calm down from everything. So, that's my personal take on preferring to say sensory overload over things like meltdown or shutdown due to the connection that the latter two have to screaming children, even if only on a subconscious level.
I just realized that as I got into my twenties I let go of so many of my comforts. Most because I had this sense and was told that I was grown and needed to let those things go. The less and less comforts I had the more I actually registered the wild and crushing discomfort at like literally everything in life.
I am obsessed, for a variety of reasons!!! One, at first I wasn’t sure how this would go since it’s a longer video but halfway through (and I’m hooked the whole time mind you even with ADHD) I realized it’s like body doubling! I’m going to order and go back through it with you so I’ll actually work on it instead of seeing it as “another task to do.” Two, I have had such a good time following along as you wrote out your sensory likes and dislikes, even seeing as you uncovered new realizations about yourself. I laughed and nodded along like you were really talking to me 😂 thank you so much for this and great job designing it - I’ll be purchasing for sure. I recently realized I didn’t cook with garlic or onions, even though they’re crucial, because of the smell and touch factor so I’m going to get a little mincer so I don’t have to touch them. Your video helped me see I could apply that thinking to a lot of stuff in my life.
I discovered I have autism this year and it’s been such a freeing experience. uncovering my stims and unlearning things I’ve done to hide myself my whole life has been amazing. I had a test today and just felt awful and bad and I just starting shaking my head like crazy for a few seconds and immediately felt better like I knew I couldn’t do my normal stims right then so it was just really relieving to know this stuff now :)
This was so validating to hear. I constantly feel like I need something to listen to too when I'm doing work/tasks around the house. I thought maybe it was just an anxiety thing, but it's validating to know that it's more about what helps me stay focused and having something I can keep my attention on that is helpful. ♥
Talking about wanting to run around in the theater. There's a puppet center near me that has sensory friendly showings. It allows for Neurodivergent folks to get up and walk around or leave and come back. The lights also aren't completely off, they're just very dim. I know a couple of my local movie theaters have sensory friendly showings as well, but they're specifically catered to kids ://
I wish more places would have sensory friendly showings. Oh! And the puppet theater has sunglasses, earplugs, and headphones all available at request! They also have a story map and I LOVE IT. I really really wish more places would create story maps.
1:12 unrelated but the rainbow affect you had on the screen here made me feel really good, it felt good on my eyeballs
11:50 It feels really good to hear someone else talk about this, my stress really increases when I notice I'm the only "representation" of a community in the room, and the social roles get confusing.
One sound that makes me want to scream is the hum of fans installed in a house/apartment, etc. Where I live now, they hooked the bathroom fans to the light switch, so if you turn on the light, the fan automatically turns on, too. Omg.
Almost as bad as being in a room with a droning fan is being in a nearby room, and hearing the fan humming thru the walls. Argh!
Try some flannel acoustic stick on panels around your home to smooth out sounds
I honestly love musky sents like, City Rain, (Strong perfume/lotion/hand sanitizer/etc), old books, dusty rooms, and specifically "mahogany wood" sented hygiene products.
I was diagnosed at a young age, but I’ve never really had the proper support nor teaching about stuns and all the nitty gritty about being autistic, so I really appreciate this as it feels like I’m uncovering my real self in a way
I can’t even explain how invaluable this video is 😭🙏🏽 .. I wouldn’t have known how to fill this out nor would I have thought of the things you wrote down and I literally resonate with practically every single one on every sheet. So so grateful!!! 💖
This workbook is so great. An idea for future workbooks may be to include the vestibular sense (movement), as I find that with my Autism, many of my stims can be seen with that. Overall it is a great product I just bought and am so excited to work through.
... and proprioceptive.
Ugh you just get it! It feel so validating. People have asked why I live where I do and it’s the visual part of needing to see other people like me!
04:50 - You just described me. Literally - i just recently discovered that I'm likely autistic (Thank you to everyone who put their late-life diagnosis stories out there - i found you at the time in my life where i was grasping at straws to keep my shit together) and I am always tense, always on edge, always worried, always just pushing through this that or the other thing.
I haven’t watched the video yet, but I just wanted to say that your channel is amazing! Watching your videos is helping me gather more information and learn more about autism and ADHD :) Thank you so much for providing high-quality content like this!
Thank you so much for going thru this yourself. As someone who also has ADHD but is coming to the realization that I am autistic I feel like I don't know what my stims are bc I've been masking for so long (32 years old) and with having rapid fire thoughts when trying to answer a question that I've never really asked myself is overwhelming and would take so much more time and energy to complete. Your channel has been helpful and comforting. Thank you!
Immediately bought 4 of your workbooks!! This is such a fun way to get to know yourself and tbh I feel like you’re an angel because I’ve been asking for something like this for so long 😭 I was diagnosed with ADHD and unofficially with bipolar disorder but I really think the bipolar might be either a misdiagnosis or a side effect of being treated and expected to act neurodivergent my whole life and constant burnout. I feel like a disappointment because I was supposed to grow up and be a successful adult yet I’m still a kid and I don’t understand how to do adult things like others do, I really can’t. I tried and I ended up having daily panic attacks because I just couldn’t study or produce after being in a cold sterile and bright classroom with people that make me uncomfortable for 4 HOURS 4 DAYS A WEEK. I used to go out and do fun stuff with my friends every weekend and even go out to loud bars and clubs but my burnout got to a point where all I wanted to do in my free time was sleep, play escapist video games and FaceTime my friend who was also playing escapist video games for similar reasons. It’s so fun and we still like to do it sometimes but I wanted to excel in my field and create yet I couldn’t… I couldn’t even eat or take care of myself and my pets properly. I got medicated and it helped to stop the panic attacks and make me think more like neurodivergent people in the way of “yeah I feel horrible and disgusting but it is what it is” but I really just want to be able to work and create without feeling bad because I deserve better, my loved ones deserve to see me happy and because my art reflects how I feel and I don’t want to do dark depressive art forever. I hope these workbooks help me (and I know they will) cope in healthier ways so I can love myself better and be the artist I deserve to be. Thank you :))
Ahh! The temp/weather based stuff😌
I used to work in a freezer warehouse, and with the right thermals and simple clothes under the insulating suits the company provided, it was THE BEST possible feeling! Like i could just curl up and nap right there in that freezer!
And the feeling of the warmth of the sun on my bare skin with a chilled breeze🥰👌 Best Afternoon Ever!
💛🤍💜🖤
This! 100% my favorite type of day.
I just found your videos today and i love
Good info for sensory sensitivity, but nothing on emotional regulation? The biggest trigger for stimming, for me, has always been emotional overload from masking, social interactions, relational misunderstandings or communication breakdowns, trauma, loss of control or order, etc. Some stimming is also unconscious, and self-harming, and can depend on the intensity of the trigger. Just wanted to note this as a shout-out to those who have other triggers and stims.
Being in a car for longer periods of time always sucks - unless I am the driver and can control when and where to stop and how fast we go. Also we have this rule that the driver has the power over what music is played and how loud it is played. So on longer trips I'm pretty much always the driver by choice and for example my best friend really appreciates that cause driving will usually stress him out after a while.
For taste, I'm not sure if it's a stim exactly, but I love and almost require acidity in most if not everything I eat. I'll add lemon or lime or a bit of vinegar to most things I cook.
One thing I can say is I feel most free and me at music festivals. People for the most part are extremely nice, and I usually don't mask. I always have a trusted friend and some earplugs. The biggest downside for me is the visual aspect. Sometimes the lights are too much and I end up just dancing with my eyes closed.
i love your content so much!! it comforts me a lot and you break things down in a really concise way that isn't too overwhelming so i can help regulate myself and my autism in much more healthier ways
I just want to say how much I not only appreciate your knowledge, ability to convey concepts and how well spoken you are, but I also love your aesthetic and editing style. It makes someone like me, who’s very visual and creative, even more drawn to your content. I subscribed and have been binge watching your videos. Thank you so much for your hard work and guidance💛
I cant explain how helpful this has been. Wow
I'm not autistic but I've been super interested in autism this past year and I love to learn new things about it. This video is very informative and it rises so many questions in my mind. Could stimming even benefit neurotypical people ? I don't know any autistic person (at least not that I know of) with who I can talk about that kind of things so it's an honor for me to listen to you guys exchange about your experiences. I feel like I'm learning so much about what it is to be human thanks to that.
yes it does actually! stimming is a behavior that everyone actually engages with. it's just that the intensity/frequency and what it is used for changes when someone is autistic or adhd. most everyone tends to stim in some way when their system registers a need for some self soothing. in neurotypical people this can look like hair twirling, foot tapping, etc.
This video is so very validating. At 63, and misdiagnosed as bi-polar 9 yrs ago, I have self diagnosed as autistic and ADHD. The more I learn, the more I own it!
Thank you for providing your personal experience to help us repair the torn segments of our own tapestries.
I love you ❣️🌞🤗🙏🏼
Amazing content! Its been helpful im diagnosed adhd and highly suspect autism and ive been listening to your videos all day :)
My favorite comfort stim is the tactile feel of fidgeting with folding knives, driving with a manual transmition, and a good mechanical pen or pencil is also great.
U hit on something that ive tried to find out online, passive overstimulation, i was really curious if things subconciously set me off like sounds or lights, things that i didnt realise were stressin my brain out because they ddidnt bother me, u just covered that after me searching for months thank you, my workplace went from having very bright lights to having LED lights that are motion sensored so most of my stockroom is in darkness until u walk down an aisle so there are lights going off and on forever, and some timers are different so one aisle will have a light that switches off after a minute and another 30 seconds, the day they were installed i felt like crying and i later thought maybe it was because of the lighting change
Hi! As a recently (at age 40) diagnosed ADHDr, with a strong suspicion that I am also autistic. I have loved the first few of your videos I have watched. Already subscribed and will be binging a lot of your previously published videos. Thanks for sharing your voice and story!!
I was planning on watching like maybe 10 minutes of this video while I ate dinner but I got so invested that I ended up purchasing/downloading the workbook and going through it with you. I am in awe of how eye-opening this was and how helpful it was to begin to understand why I do and don't do certain things and WHY certain activities and situations are so unpleasant for me while others are so pleasing. Thank you so much for this!
Hi, thank you for this worksheet. I feel like I can be both hypo and hyper sensitive at the same time sometimes: I can feel overwhelmed by the noises around me and need them to quiet but needing to hear the noises I make (opening something, cooking, doing things,…) to be okay
Thanks so much! 💙
Sending gratitude from a Daoist monastery near Seattle! A perfect environment for hypersensitive folks.
☯️🌲☮️
I love that you’re giving ppl practical help
Girl we have so many things in common here, this was very helpful. Thank you
Loved the section about combining stims with responsibilities because I’m listening to this while I clean out my car.
I’ve unlocked a whole layer of understanding of my self through this reflection!
So happy you mention the mental stim! Thats why I like guided mediation to access my higher mind, because I can then relax bacause my ‘lower’ mind is being stimulated - I understand myself better now❤️
Binging on these videos and love it. VA will not recognize me as Autistic so this information helps me adapt to the reality that we are wired different than the rest of the world.
It's funny how a lot of elements of discomfort for you are comforting to me because of differing experiences. Blue light and sterility are things I take comfort in because I spent a lot of time in hospitals/clinical environments as a kid. I find artificial yellow light to be super painful though.
I also hate artificial yellow light! Especially at night, idk why it makes it so hot in the room & I immediately feel the room cooling down when I turn the light off. My boyfriend doesn’t feel it
But I wonder why I have this aversion, I’ve never been admitted in the hospital (besides being born)
At 10 I noticed how much more I began to hate sounds. For almost 12 years I thought I had “misophonia.” After getting my adhd diagnosis I feel that I might be Audhd. I don’t like sounds of chewing,loud televisions,balloon pops, loud clicking, loud talking. I have so many things that stress me out and I use music and headphone to stop the stresses. Ifeel so comfortable knowing why ❤
I found out about Misophonia about a year ago and thought that was my issue. But after learning that I'm Autistic 2 days ago and maybe a few other things like ocd, etc. I am now also wondering if Misophonia is just a really hard to thing to mask from and it's really a branch of Autism. Thanks for saying what I was thinking while watching this video.
the orange glasses are so cool looking!
I've learned our mind is also a sense organ, and it creates thought according to every specific situation. I'd say there are certain environments, people and conversations that create unpleasent thoughts in my head, and others that create pleasent ones, or even absence of thoughts, which would be a great stim
In college a classmate of mine had a voice that literally made me nauseous. He was having a debate with my teacher and I had to excuse myself from class just to get away from his voice. This was long before I realized I had autism. I had always chalked it up to some sort of weird happenstance. He ended up leaving school for his mental health and I thought maybe I had sensed it? Ha, now I think his voice just set me off. Poor guy tho. I hope he got the help he needed even if his voice drove me crazy.
Thank you so much for this video. This is a completely new understanding of stims for me. I’m on the waiting list for my autism diagnosis so that will be helpful.
I just found your channel; this is the second video I've watched, and it felt so validating. There are so many activities I have avoided in the past because they made me feel uncomfortable on a visceral level. However, the people around me who I expressed concerns to always made me feel inferior for the avoidance. There was always this undertone of 'you just need to push through, don't let those things bother you, you'll get used to it,' and just generally downplaying the severity as if I were exaggerating for dramatic effect.
Thank you for an informative video, Irene 🥰 I rewatched this episode while filling out the workbook you made, and it's funny how these sensory aversions and comforts are things I already know, but reflect on in a different way with actually writing them down, and putting them in context with situations. In a world where I feel like the ultimate goal is to be able to do everything you need to do without "distractions" and to learn to live with the silence, I feel so liberated here, with you encouraging people to utilize their stims ❤ I finally feel like the things I feel the urge to do, to make it through daily tasks are finally validated!
That's not surprising, especially if you didn't grow up consciously doing these things. There is a fair amount of wisdom in the body, and often times it knows what it wants to do and what it doesn't want to do. Most of the time, it's OK to just go with it, provided it doesn't involve harming yourself or causing social problems.
I didn't realize that the reason I'm so fond of saying the name of a local Korean shop is vocal stimming. It just is a name that is fun to say over, and over again.
I never felt the same after high school. I put so much energy into coming off as an extraverted and bubbly person. I felt like a fake and I knew I was different from others. It felt like I was putting on an act and this caused me to always think I was living in a simulation and when I brought this up people would say I was weird. I became so much more aware of my true personality as I got into college and I eventually figured out my stims. Something I did a lot as a child and now was spinning or swaying my head side to side. Sometimes spinning would give me butterflies and it felt amazing and helped calm me. Spinning in chairs is a nice feeling too. I also notice that I give myself goosebumps all over my body and it feels nice too. Touching and feeling textures is something I do a lot too. Not sure if this counts but I group words in pairs of two and count them. Ex. (How was your day today?) this sentence has 2 1/2 pairs. Maybe this one is OCD related idk.
I already sort of do this, I try to pay attention to what is making me comfortable/uncomfortable in the moment. But I like how you laid it out by sense - it helped me think of some things I didn't notice before. And tying it to why we do/avoid tasks is really helpful!
Absolutely yes to cool weather
one of my auditory stims is your voice actually
I find that coloring canvases (idk what they're called correctly in english, in my language they're basically 'pictures by numbers') combined with listeting to your videos as podcasts make me so content and peaceful
(so audio + visual + touch stims (I really like the feeling of paint being brushed on the canvas) + intellectual ? in a way - I enjoy the information and reflections you give and the thoughts all of this evokes in my brain)
Thanks for this excellent presentation of stims. I forget about smells, but that wonderful fresh smell after a summer rain is one I love. Textures of food is a big one for me, anything slippery or slimy especially. My autistic dad hated lumps in mashed potatoes. Nails on a blackboard don't bother me at all, but a sound of rough texture scraping gives me chills. So, texture, subtle sounds, smells are all things I never thought about but there it is! Of course loud sounds were obvious, especially jarring ones, bright lights. I don't like loud music unless I can dance to it and move, then it can be fun.
This is extremely valuable information. I am not autistic, but I am a highly sensitive person so this applies to me too. Thank you.
I just purchased your ADHD friendly weekly planner. Thank you for providing such wonderful information at such an affordable price! When I can, I will be purchasing more from you to support the work you're doing and this channel.
Haha, oh my goodness I've had your workbook saved in my etsy favorites for months and finally just bought it-I opened up the how-to link and saw you! :) It just tickled me, because I had no idea it was the same person, and I've been subscribed to you for a while now. Hehe. Anywho-I very much look forward to this workbook! And oh my gosh-100% have the same view on a Dirty vs Messy environment. I hold a way higher "value" (take comfort in?) a clean environment, even if it "looks messy." I'm so glad I found out I'm not alone in that. My partner is the exact opposite (needs it to look clean (really clean!) but doesn't care about contaminations as much as I do), it's just interesting how different we all are! Thank you for making this resource.
Looking forward to going through this and making my own lists. It's interesting to see how many sensory discomforts I actually have. At first, I thought I didn't have any sensory issues, but I'm learning more about myself every day.
Super relatable thank you for presenting this with soft background music. Loved everything about this video. I learned a lot about myself.
I would love to hear any further reflections you have about confined spaces as you described it in this video. That's a big one for me and I'm looking for new accommodations/ways to think about it I haven't considered yet!
Romance novels on Audiobooks+ UA-cam changed my life. Also my huge perfume and lotion collection. When l have a pain flare, l go to bed, let a romance novel play, and put on a heavenly scent- and fall asleep in a flash.
Recommend a sweet mix of 2 perfumes- mix Love Don't be Shy + Cheirosa 40. Cheirosa 40 has both a mist and a body lotion l rub on. Of course petting the cat. The feel and smell of his fur. Is so good