Having it all - for working mothers everywhere | Julie Ellison | TEDxDerryLondonderryWomen
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- Опубліковано 15 гру 2020
- Julie is a Barrister at Law and passionate about representing clients and providing high quality legal advice and representation. A former graduate of Queens University Julie is a leading female Barrister in Northern Ireland with some passionate views about the challenges doing so. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
As a working mother of a 5 year old, I found my life is so exhausting. I am mentally tired. Last year, he started school, he got sick, take a a week or two to recover, and sick again in 4-5 days. This cycle repeat for the whole year. He also share the disease with me. I was sick and also caring for a sick kid and also working. I got RSV during RSV wave last year, imagine I have trouble breathing at night while I care for a sick child too. I have 15 minutes sleep every night. I am a career and thought I am strong, but during this time, I got depressed and almost suicidal. This year, he get sick less but he get crazy tantrum. Few days ago, I go to bed early at 9pm, I stare at the ceiling for 3 hours, I am emotionally exhausted.
I realized, when I don’t work, I can handle motherhood. I realized, we cannot have it all. Our modern society expect too much from mother. We are a mother, worker, cook, home worker, nutritionists for our kid, financier, 24/7 nurse to our kid, etc… No wonder new generation do not wish to have kids. Society as a whole need to appreciate mothers.
Oh my god. I thought I was the only one going through this. It really throws everything off when they get sick. It’s like how are we supposed to work and do this at the same time?!! Our daughter’s school also makes them pick them up early from school.
I'm a working mom of 4.5 yo and 2 month old. This drives me nuts 🤬. I can't handle it. What should I do does anyone know?
This speaks to me. I’m a nine year lawyer with two kids. I own a law firm with nine employees. I find the baby years fine, but my four year old exhausts me. I feel like I’m failing in multiple areas and it’s hard. Just too much stress and never all in anywhere. It’s just really hard.
You are incredible. I’m a new mom and a new nurse practitioner and am struggling with this internal conflict right now. Thanks for your advice !!!
I am career woman, a wife and a mother. My son didn’t talks yet when he get to the daycare at 18 months. His first language or what we should call « mother tongue » is english and we speak french at home. It hit me at first and my husband rationalize it: « it’s good he learn another language as we will definitely speak french anyway. » yes, I had few moments of guilt but kids grow up fast and i am glad that i had not gives up my professional career coz now, I willl wonder what else I can do now that he is at school.
Exactly. Kids grow up fast, now that he is at school.. soon after he'll graduate then find work. After that he will have his own family. I guess you kinda missed those days that you're supposed to be with him and enjoying his childhood. and spending time with you kid. To each his own, but I had to comment coz while it's not wrong that you never give up your career but I just feel sad as mom that you don't seem to regret it, though you feel little guilty however it appears to me that you thought you just made the best decision ever.
@@mayannedeguzman4668Everyone has their own thoughts no need to demean her for that
Words cannot express how much I needed to hear this!
Loved loved loved this. Speaks my heart ❤
Really loved this, thank you Jule.
This has further conflicted me. I really don’t know that I want my career more than I want to be a full time mother. 😩
Being a full time mother is for me more important, or being a working from home mom , it is my choice till my kids grow up enough to be at school. Nowadays, there is lots of remote jobs and for that I am grateful , not saying it is easy but I think it is what I find best for the family currently. So maybe write down what you think is important to you and be courage and forgiving when you make a choice, I know it is really hard. I wish you luck
Your response is so kind and helpful. Just want to point out that it helped me in just reading it.
GET JOB. Get married then have a baby.
@@lylky - I totally relate! I made the same choice! And you put it so clearly! And now that my son is in school, I still want to be available whenever he's not in school, so I still only work part time. But I find that to be the most satisfying scenario. (And BTW, I used to be a health and wellness public speaker. I was only accepting one speech per month, two in high season, but now to avoid even the occasional travel, I'm trying to build a YT channel, and I'd be very grateful if you paid me a visit!😉 )
Same 😢 I struggle every morning handing him over to my mother to babysit. Drive to work with tears and ponder on how much I’m missing. He’s 8 months old and I’m a full time LVN and full time college student it’s been tough.
Fantastic talk! Resonates so strongly and what a key message. “To Have it all, you don’t have to do it all” . Spinning those plastic plates. Brilliant
Its quite sad for working class mothers. If you want work and be a complete mother, make sure to get out of the 9-9 labour class, thats your best bet and with today's internet a huge possibility that others didnt have. goodluck!
Dads need to help out in home.
It's both what moms expect and what society expects
I am a small business owner at the stage of life where I need to decide wether I’m going be become a mother or not. I’m used to putting everything into what I do and doing it well. This talk was very poignant for me.
What are you thinking?
I feel you, @rarcher382. I used to feel exactly the same. But I decided to be a mom, and I wouldn't have it any other way! I work part-time, when my son is in school and sometimes after I put him to bed. I found my own balance - and I still find time to sit down for meals and to exercise! So now I try to help others do the same. Maybe my channel can bring you solutions? 😉
I was like that too. I love my business. Iv achieved so much but I asked myself is this all there is , just lots of Moët and success? I realised I would love to experience being a mom and bringing someone into this life and hopefully make difference in it. Planning financially is also very important,it takes away some of the anxiety. But no matter what you choose, let it come from your hearts. ❤❤❤
sattu bhai op
i have qualified jee advance,YES !
op bhai
Two teachers. Parents working full time. We found high ticket, affiliate, marketing, too late in the career world. You should start now!!!!! 💲💲 in your pjs!
Her long pauses are super annoying
Lol I thought that
sattu bhai op