When I make definite plans I feel boxed in, almost like I am trapped and so I make no plans and feel disorganized. Sometimes it feels like just thinking about what I want to do is enough. I know this is counterproductive so thank you for this video!
As an INFP I’d like to add in step #0.5, which is: Know the point of why I’m doing the dreadful task so my Fi is on board. Find a way to attach emotional value to completing your goal
Great point! As an infp the emotional aspect is very tricky. I could do exactly what Heidi suggests, sit at my desk and feel zero motivation to act. When I try to get things done, my energy drains out of me and I literally want to go to sleep. I haven't tried this exact process but I think your suggestion to know why you're attempting to do something is key. Even discovering that though is hard to clarify. I think this aspect is very complex for INFPs!
Totally agree. I’ve found that if you don’t find that emotional motivator right away, you will find it the day before a task is due. And the emotion motivating you will be panic 😂
Another gem! I’ve been procrastinating cleaning my home because I have a 100 ideas of things I want to change/build and that’s been holding me back. The visualization technique reduced my anxiety and helped me break down the task into smaller tasks! You’re our ENFP Shero!!
Thank you for another lifesaving video, I've bookmarked it to watch on my commute 💓 This is an unusual request, but please please could you do a "get productive / study / write / etc with me" video? 💜 I love those videos, especially from vloggers I like or admire! I think ENFPs are REALLY motivated by companionship, and also (just my personal theory, as I find it strongly applies to me but I haven't seen it talked much about, so it might just be me) unique role models who are essentially Ne possibilities embodied in living form. In another video, you said something like most people think you must not be a strong ENFP as you have strong Te and can churn out so many books... I think seeing how you managed to harness your ENFP strengths is a huge inspiration.
Having an SJ mother helped a lot with this unfortunately it creates a lot of pressure and stress for me then I tend to be very critical when I don't meet those times I set for myself.
I'm so happy that you are also ENFP and I can get all these amazing insights from someone who understands themselves and how all of these tools apply to their Myers brings type and can discern why that is. All of your videos are brilliant. I'm also fearful avoidant and no one has ever gotten me to understand myself and my attachment style better. Regulating through limerance, on again off again relationships, intellectual bypassing. Getting that I have CPTSD and was abused by my mother changed everything but eventually after reading dozens of books I started feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from my inner world/the healing and I felt like I didn't understand anything I'd learned anymore and started spiraling into learned helplessness and all of these have been so invaluable in reconnecting with my healing in a really productive connected compassionate way. I wouldn't understand nearly as much about myself and what I do and why and how understandable that is without your videos. Before I would have said "Oh no I'm having limerance, that's bad, my healing isn't as good as I thought it was" and now I can say "Oh I need to self regulate/maybe coregulate. Everything I want has pros and cons, including the thing I want right now. How do I address my needs/feelings." Absolute gamechanger. Totally life changing. Thank you.
Yes! I’ve kind of learned this via my very deadline based job. It makes people at work think I’m a J type because they think I’m so organised. But if I don’t schedule things in great detail, they won’t get done! 😬
as an enfp in the process of writing my bachelors thesis right now i can confirm that all u said is true. if i don't pick exact time to get ready and sit at my desk with everything that i need there's 99.9% chance i won't get anything done cuz i'll get distracted by 1000 things 😭
INTJ here. This is a fantastic video and I’m definitely going to use some of these techniques. I studied NLP back in 1988 but don’t remember this. I love it! I do this somewhat naturally already but love the idea of being even more deliberate about it, taking it to the next level! Also going to share with my 2 INFPs and 2 ENFPs as well. Thank you!
I love every single piece of advice you give in all of your ENFP videos and they’re all life changing.. have you considered that maybe just maybeeee you might be an ENFJ? You just seem so much more well rounded than the average!
I love your content about enfps and i’ve been watching and learning but I didn’t know if you had any suggestions as to where to find stuff about other types so I can help them find what’s good for them too
Thank you for making this video. Is it weird that I feel like writing a new dictionary to more aptly convey my appreciation for (and infatuation with) you?
@AntonyReed Would you think maybe it might make sense though? If indeed your claim is the case, the fact is an INTJ has a Te secondary function while ENFP and INFP have Te as a tertiary function. In my listening to Personality Hacker, they like to describe function stacks with a car model primary and secondary functions as the parent driver functions while the back seat tertiary and inferior are the 10 year old and 3 year old functions. So you could potentially use this fact to develop a 10 year old tertiary Te function by learning from the example of a Secondary parent-like Te from an INTJ, and technically there's nothing saying that this is bad for getting an idea across or really trying to understand ourselves especially if an INFP has Ne and Te to gather data from the external world and learn from others in order to enhance one's awareness of their own function stack. So in some regard, your comment really further supports her approach, if indeed the fact is that she is prescribing what you claimed.
[6:53] Step 1. Get a very strong visual image in your mind...of what it's going to be like in your environment when you're doing the [intended thing.] Visualize what it's going to look like at that specific time when I'm doing it. [8:20] Step 2. Bring into your body the feeling you will have when doing the thing. ... [10:45] What is the visual process but also the kinesthetic, felt experience of doing this thing? Get clear on that inside your mind and body. [11:00] Step 3. Differentiate between 'maybe's and 'definitely's. ... If you struggle with indecisiveness (for decisions big and small), it's often because you don't know if you're serious about the decision. You have a feeling of "I don't know if I can trust myself." NLP gives us language for figuring out when we can trust ourselves and when we can't. To do that, we have to be extremely good at mindfulness. ... Tune into the mental and physiological sensations that come with "knowing" vs. "hoping" you'll do something. ... When I know for sure I'm doing something, my inner experience is...I do not picture any possible alternatives for what I could be doing [during that time/allotted time block]. I have not come up with a single other alternate possible plan that I'm even remotely considering because I see a schedule of my day in my mind where those hours are blocked off. And everything else is a little more moveable/debatable. But those hours are not. [15:30] Think about what your visualization looks like for something you're certain about doing. Observe what it feels/looks like inside your own mind when you're sure about what you're going to do, vs. when you still feel like there are alternate possibilities. Then you can start visualizing the thing you hope/want to do as if it is as solid as the things you know you'll do. ... making the deliberate choice to eliminate other possibilities that you (may or may not realize) are being distracted by. [17:00] Step 4. Have an anchor for what will happen when The Thing is done. Identifying with this set point in the future allows you to think backwards and visualize what steps led us there. ... Sometimes when we avoid doing/consenting to something, it's because we can't picture the experience of that task being over. We feel like the stress will last forever. So it's important to visualize our feelings/experience after The Thing is done/over. It gives your Introverted Sensing (Si) an internal map of what's going to happen & can self-regulating around that. Ex) visualize yourself turning in the finished project, or emailing a client. Or visualize finishing smaller parts of it. [23:00] As Perceivers who struggle to structure our time, it helps to know concretely/unambiguously when things are going to happen.
I'm either an Infp or an enfp, however I'm very good at being on time and approximating how long tasks will take. Once I decide I'm going to do something I'm generally very systematic. It really helped throughout school and college. 😊😊
I figured she'd talk about deadlines and working backward in order to know when to start something. I try to explain this to my bf who is never on time, but I guess it's not as simple for everyone
When I make definite plans I feel boxed in, almost like I am trapped and so I make no plans and feel disorganized. Sometimes it feels like just thinking about what I want to do is enough. I know this is counterproductive so thank you for this video!
As an INFP I’d like to add in step #0.5, which is:
Know the point of why I’m doing the dreadful task so my Fi is on board. Find a way to attach emotional value to completing your goal
Great point! As an infp the emotional aspect is very tricky. I could do exactly what Heidi suggests, sit at my desk and feel zero motivation to act. When I try to get things done, my energy drains out of me and I literally want to go to sleep.
I haven't tried this exact process but I think your suggestion to know why you're attempting to do something is key. Even discovering that though is hard to clarify. I think this aspect is very complex for INFPs!
Totally agree. I’ve found that if you don’t find that emotional motivator right away, you will find it the day before a task is due. And the emotion motivating you will be panic 😂
That stupid part of the brain that thinks the scary task is going to go on forever...spot on!
Another gem! I’ve been procrastinating cleaning my home because I have a 100 ideas of things I want to change/build and that’s been holding me back. The visualization technique reduced my anxiety and helped me break down the task into smaller tasks! You’re our ENFP Shero!!
I literally came across this comment whilst procrastinating cleaning my house lol
Thank you for another lifesaving video, I've bookmarked it to watch on my commute 💓 This is an unusual request, but please please could you do a "get productive / study / write / etc with me" video? 💜 I love those videos, especially from vloggers I like or admire! I think ENFPs are REALLY motivated by companionship, and also (just my personal theory, as I find it strongly applies to me but I haven't seen it talked much about, so it might just be me) unique role models who are essentially Ne possibilities embodied in living form. In another video, you said something like most people think you must not be a strong ENFP as you have strong Te and can churn out so many books... I think seeing how you managed to harness your ENFP strengths is a huge inspiration.
Having an SJ mother helped a lot with this unfortunately it creates a lot of pressure and stress for me then I tend to be very critical when I don't meet those times I set for myself.
I'm so happy that you are also ENFP and I can get all these amazing insights from someone who understands themselves and how all of these tools apply to their Myers brings type and can discern why that is. All of your videos are brilliant. I'm also fearful avoidant and no one has ever gotten me to understand myself and my attachment style better. Regulating through limerance, on again off again relationships, intellectual bypassing. Getting that I have CPTSD and was abused by my mother changed everything but eventually after reading dozens of books I started feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from my inner world/the healing and I felt like I didn't understand anything I'd learned anymore and started spiraling into learned helplessness and all of these have been so invaluable in reconnecting with my healing in a really productive connected compassionate way. I wouldn't understand nearly as much about myself and what I do and why and how understandable that is without your videos. Before I would have said "Oh no I'm having limerance, that's bad, my healing isn't as good as I thought it was" and now I can say "Oh I need to self regulate/maybe coregulate. Everything I want has pros and cons, including the thing I want right now. How do I address my needs/feelings." Absolute gamechanger. Totally life changing. Thank you.
Yes! I’ve kind of learned this via my very deadline based job. It makes people at work think I’m a J type because they think I’m so organised. But if I don’t schedule things in great detail, they won’t get done! 😬
Mindblowing yet painfully simple. Thank you.
Thank you Heidi. I hope all the best for you
Having no other alternative options at the scheduling time-- what a great point! I need this for getting schoolwork done ~INFP
Thank you for always taking that extra step to explain in massive detail what you are speaking of! Makes all the difference !
as an enfp in the process of writing my bachelors thesis right now i can confirm that all u said is true. if i don't pick exact time to get ready and sit at my desk with everything that i need there's 99.9% chance i won't get anything done cuz i'll get distracted by 1000 things 😭
Thank you so much for this! Sending love 💕
INTJ here. This is a fantastic video and I’m definitely going to use some of these techniques. I studied NLP back in 1988 but don’t remember this. I love it! I do this somewhat naturally already but love the idea of being even more deliberate about it, taking it to the next level! Also going to share with my 2 INFPs and 2 ENFPs as well. Thank you!
Excellent! You have a way of presenting things in very new ways!
Heidi... From the sounds of it, you're saying ENFPs & INFPs need to train themselves to think like an INTJ as far as planning for productivity.
WoW!!! "It will never end" thought! Wooow! So true!
Heidi the way you described flow. I feel exactly the same.
Love sharpening Te aaa tysm
A superb synthesis.
The sequence of events you discussed - that's how I think as an INTJ. For everything with an objective.
Thank you for this helpful video, Heidi! ~INFP
Cheers to procrastinating Heidi! I've got a paper due as I type! Lol!
Very good !!!! 🔥
Speaking of going with the flow, hello from 04 June 😁🙏🏼
This is SO my amazing INFP wife. 😊
So helpful!!! 🙏
I love every single piece of advice you give in all of your ENFP videos and they’re all life changing.. have you considered that maybe just maybeeee you might be an ENFJ? You just seem so much more well rounded than the average!
I love your content about enfps and i’ve been watching and learning but I didn’t know if you had any suggestions as to where to find stuff about other types so I can help them find what’s good for them too
I love your content about ENFP ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for making this video. Is it weird that I feel like writing a new dictionary to more aptly convey my appreciation for (and infatuation with) you?
Nice
Merci!
@AntonyReed
Would you think maybe it might make sense though? If indeed your claim is the case, the fact is an INTJ has a Te secondary function while ENFP and INFP have Te as a tertiary function.
In my listening to Personality Hacker, they like to describe function stacks with a car model primary and secondary functions as the parent driver functions while the back seat tertiary and inferior are the 10 year old and 3 year old functions. So you could potentially use this fact to develop a 10 year old tertiary Te function by learning from the example of a Secondary parent-like Te from an INTJ, and technically there's nothing saying that this is bad for getting an idea across or really trying to understand ourselves especially if an INFP has Ne and Te to gather data from the external world and learn from others in order to enhance one's awareness of their own function stack. So in some regard, your comment really further supports her approach, if indeed the fact is that she is prescribing what you claimed.
[6:53] Step 1. Get a very strong visual image in your mind...of what it's going to be like in your environment when you're doing the [intended thing.] Visualize what it's going to look like at that specific time when I'm doing it.
[8:20] Step 2. Bring into your body the feeling you will have when doing the thing. ... [10:45] What is the visual process but also the kinesthetic, felt experience of doing this thing? Get clear on that inside your mind and body.
[11:00] Step 3. Differentiate between 'maybe's and 'definitely's. ... If you struggle with indecisiveness (for decisions big and small), it's often because you don't know if you're serious about the decision. You have a feeling of "I don't know if I can trust myself." NLP gives us language for figuring out when we can trust ourselves and when we can't. To do that, we have to be extremely good at mindfulness. ... Tune into the mental and physiological sensations that come with "knowing" vs. "hoping" you'll do something. ... When I know for sure I'm doing something, my inner experience is...I do not picture any possible alternatives for what I could be doing [during that time/allotted time block]. I have not come up with a single other alternate possible plan that I'm even remotely considering because I see a schedule of my day in my mind where those hours are blocked off. And everything else is a little more moveable/debatable. But those hours are not.
[15:30] Think about what your visualization looks like for something you're certain about doing. Observe what it feels/looks like inside your own mind when you're sure about what you're going to do, vs. when you still feel like there are alternate possibilities. Then you can start visualizing the thing you hope/want to do as if it is as solid as the things you know you'll do. ... making the deliberate choice to eliminate other possibilities that you (may or may not realize) are being distracted by.
[17:00] Step 4. Have an anchor for what will happen when The Thing is done. Identifying with this set point in the future allows you to think backwards and visualize what steps led us there. ... Sometimes when we avoid doing/consenting to something, it's because we can't picture the experience of that task being over. We feel like the stress will last forever. So it's important to visualize our feelings/experience after The Thing is done/over. It gives your Introverted Sensing (Si) an internal map of what's going to happen & can self-regulating around that. Ex) visualize yourself turning in the finished project, or emailing a client. Or visualize finishing smaller parts of it.
[23:00] As Perceivers who struggle to structure our time, it helps to know concretely/unambiguously when things are going to happen.
I'm either an Infp or an enfp, however I'm very good at being on time and approximating how long tasks will take. Once I decide I'm going to do something I'm generally very systematic. It really helped throughout school and college. 😊😊
I figured she'd talk about deadlines and working backward in order to know when to start something. I try to explain this to my bf who is never on time, but I guess it's not as simple for everyone
INFJ video please
This sounds soooo exhausting 😅
Facts, gonna have to use it sparingly for starters 🤣
Lol I thought this was ADHD problem not enfp 😂
same. imagine if you’re both?!!😮
What's TE?
Extroverted thinking
17:54