MY COMING OUT STORY
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- Опубліковано 28 кві 2016
- It took me a long time to build up the courage, but I finally made my own Coming Out Story. Watching other Coming Out Stories on UA-cam has really impacted my life, so I wanted to give back in hope that I could impact someone else's life. If you are struggling with your sexuality and need someone to talk to, I am here for you!
Also, ignore the fact that I misspelled the word "recording" at the end of this video.
Follow me on Instagram: / bgmohr10
Music: "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry
Good for you, Benja. It is always an ordeal that we gay people have to go through, but it is always worth it to come out. You are a hero.
Way to go Benja, Accepting and living your true self so early in life will only make your like so much more enjoyable. Now go spread your love and acceptance
Congrats for starting the process and having the courage to make and post this. The more people that post things like this the more that it will become a "no big deal" issue. Your video has already helped one person and it will help more!
You are a good looking guy, full of confidence. Keep holding your head up and hold onto that confidence and you''ll have a great life! Love yourself. :)
Thanks for making this video. I think a lot of people will draw strength from it. It takes a lot of courage to put this out there, but it's definitely for the greater good.
honestly this is so inspirational I've got friends going through the same thing and they're so scared but I know videos like this help them feel better
Your story is very touching. And real. Brave of you to share this and how you struggled. With understanding and accepting yourself. And coming out. Thank you!
Great story dude. Thanks for sharing your personal experiences !
Congrats on making it this far in living your authentic life. A couple of tips/warnings when coming out to your parents. Not sure from you vid if you parents are super religious or not. If not you'll have an easier time with them. We gave up church when I was 13 so my parents did not have any moral/religious issue when I came out. Always remember two things: It took you a good bit of time to accept yourself so you'll need to give your parents the same consideration. Also, the day you were born your parents imagined an ideal life for you, just like theirs or even more idealized. Wife, beautiful kids (i.e their grand kids), white picket fence etc. You know the American dream. But the dream did not include you being gay and bringing home your boyfriend for Thanksgiving. So when you come out to them, suddenly all of those things they imagined are gone in an instant. Now of course you really can have all of those things but it will take time for your parents to come around to that new reality. Btw, if you parents are super conservative/religious consider coming out by default. No big moral confrontation, just live you life openly and let them draw their own conclusions. That's what we did with my husband's Dad. He's a super conservative Catholic but we have a great relationship that grew over time. We even get the king size bed when we visit now. So no big sit down and moral confrontation. If you decide not to have "the talk" make sure you don't closet yourself for them. So if they visit at college and you have a boyfriend don't hide him from them. Besides lying to your parents it will also stress your relationship with your boyfriend. There are lots of great stories on UA-cam of very accepting parents but that is not always the case. So if you have any doubts about your parents I'd wait until your fully independent just in case they would cut you off. Of course only you know your parents so that's a call you'll have to make. Best of luck.
I second Jim Kohn's suggestions. The loss of their dreams for you and your life will be something like a death in the family to them. Perhaps you can judge from how they've dealt with actual "deaths", such as loss of their parents, siblings, close friends, other loved ones, or loss of a job or something else that was very important to them. If they handled those things with equanimity and thoughtfulness, even while grieving the loss, I think their dealing with coming to know you are gay has a chance of meeting with a more supportive response. As Jim said, if one or both of them is highly religious, especially if they attend a church that has intentionally preached against the mythical "gay agenda," and if they seem to have accepted that what the church teaches in that regard is true, then living authentically to who you know yourself to be and letting them learn over time is more likely the better path to follow. If you yourself have and value faith in Christ, it is important for you to know that He will be with you to guide you and provide you with support as you live fully the life of a loving, caring gay man. There is a growing number of churches that provide a supportive community for gay Christians - more so in urban and suburban areas than in rural areas, obviously; but one can never discount the possibility of finding gay-friendly folks even in rural areas. (I served as pastor of a church in the farm country of northwest Illinois, and the community had had a school superintendent who had been married and had a family but had come out as gay in the middle of his career, divorced his wife, and had his lover come to live with him; and the community continued to accept him, because he was a good administrator of the school system. And that all happened in the 1970s and '80s, when being openly gay was still rather unusual outside of a few urban areas in the country. All that said, keep true to who you know yourself to be in all respects, and you will discover that the One who created you will also sustain you through thick and thin.
I remember 20 years ago suggesting to a very flamboyant (16 year old) young guy that he "just come out". He replied by standing with his hand on his hip, and in his flamboyant voice with attitude saying "I'm not gay"...which actually made me laugh out loud. He stayed in Narnia for six more years, dated women and had a son. Now his son is 12, he is finally out and he produces drag shows in a nearby city.
The ironic part of this story is that I was still in the closet, and only came out in February 2015. I realized that I was attracted to guys back in 1978 when I was 12. It was that year when I first experienced most of the sexual activities that gay life has to offer. I would have thought that bottoming at that age would have been painful, but it wasn't, even though the guy was older.
I had experiences on the DL through my teen years, but then stopped when I was 17. I lived a heteronormative life through my 20s and 30s, even dating women in my late 30s, and having a child. A year after my father passed away, I finally came out. Of course, being overweight and nearly 50, my options for dating someone my age are very limited.
I sometimes think back and wonder how life would have been if I had come out in my teen years. However, the culture was MUCH different back then, and many people still considered gay people to be mentally ill, criminals or perverts. I am glad that I survived my time in the closet, because so many have not.
It is important for young people to acknowledge the efforts and sacrifices made by the previous generations. It is vital that the names and events that lead to our freedom not be forgotten. The Stonewall Riots, Harvey Milk, and the death of Matthew Shepard had a major impact on how society saw/treated the whole "gay issue".
Please take time each year to honor those who have died as a result of homophobia, either at the hands of others, or their own.
Congratulations on your courage and fortitude to come out, inspiring others, including me! Although still difficult, it's much easier to come out now-a-days than it was back prior to 1980, when I was in my teens, 20s. Back then it was much more dangerous to do so, for a variety of reasons. I was living a double life (only partially out). To this very day I still have one foot jammed in the closet, but your video, and other similar coming out videos, gave me the courage to (finally) come out to two long time close Straight friends, just this past week, and another I plan for next week. Benja, you're a beacon of Light and an angel sent from up above! :)
Really enjoyed your coming out video dude. I'm 18 and just came out to my parents and close friends last year and luckily all of them have been supportive. I graduated from a small high school so I didn't really have the opportunity to meet anyone else whose gay so I'm really hoping I will get to when I start college at KSU in the fall. I hate feeling so lonely all the time but KSU is a big school so I'm sure I'm bound to meet more people in the LGBT community there. Good luck with coming out to your family! You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders with everything so I'm sure you'll handle it fine and I hope you receive a positive reaction back from them :)
Hope you made lots of new friends at KSU. I know I'm 3 years late. Anyway, hope you are doing amazing
Not bad at all! For your first video, the production value and quality was really good. Thanks for your efforts and I look forward to more of your content. Thumbs up!
As many comments below I feel inspired and happy from your video. Very clear, very easy to follow. I am pretty sure your life is unfolding in a good way. Thank you. Best wishes. Martin
I don't know why but I love watching coming out stories on youtube because it's very inspiring and builds up my confidence of my sexuality at school. I am confident and have a great self-esteem but i still have trouble. Thank you for this!
I can totally relate to being very secretive. Very beautiful story, you are an amazing person!
you're a wise young man. loved your story.
I am so proud of you!! best of luck going forward
Oh, the mix of frustration and happiness and fumbling and greatness in this, comedy and tragedy mixed. Different story for me, yet also relatable and, yeah, similar at times. Good for you. So much better when you can be out. I wish I'd come out sooner.
4 months dating and the happiest you've ever been. Gotta admit, happiness is pretty addictive, isn't it? Happy for you. Best wishes.
Your video will probably help many people
This is your story to tell. Nobody else s. Best to you!
Benja, Mark and Ethan are awesome. Yes, check them out. Good for you, Benja. It takes a lot to admit it to yourself and to tell other people. It's such a great feeling to be out. Thanks for sharing your amazing video! I get so happy when I see people do this. You'll do great with your family and your parents. The reality of it is most people don't care and they may not be receptive at first but stick to it. It's new to them just as it is new to you. My mom was not as receptive as i would have liked her to be at first but once she understood the reality of being gay as opposed to what she has seen in the media or online, she has progressively gotten better. It's no different than a man loving a woman; it's just love. The label doesn't matter. Believe me, you won't have any problem finding anyone, that is for sure! I know you will do great but if you have questions about coming out to your parents, I would love to answer any questions you have. Best of luck to you! :)
If people don't accept you, kick them out of your life. Surround yourself with people who do accept and care about you.
You seem like a very nice guy. Always be true to yourself. Being gay is no big deal. God loves you just as you are. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Good luck to you.
God will judge and condemn him for his deeds!
Someone had to bring up God, ugh
Dude congrats , what a nice video!!!!
Lil. Great video. Happy for you. Went thru the same shit, only havent dated yet. Ive been out for 2 yrs. Hope your family is ok with it. I lost what was left of mine.
I don't know how I ended up here and why this video popped up in my suggestion bar, but Congrats dude.... good luck on your life. And btw, shout out to Katy Perry in the beginning.
Wow. This was so sweet. Thanks for sharing. I'm happy this is going well so far and that you are much happier. You seem like a sweet guy, and I'm sure you'll meet a nice guy soon. Parents can be tricky sometimes, so you shouldn't feel pressure to come out if you don't feel ready. Sending you a warm hug and kiss on the cheek.
+me Thank you :) I actually decided to come out to them a few days ago... So I will be making another video telling about how that went!
+Benja Best of luck. Remember that you've been dealing with accepting yourself for a long time to get to this point in your life; they might need some time too. I really admire you for taking this step. :-)
Thank you for sharing! Be true to yourself.
I just wanted to say what an amazing job you did on this video! I am gay also and understand everything you went through. I am so much older then you but experienced the same things you did except when I was in school I told no one I was gay. I am out now and wish I did it sooner. I must say who ever you hook up with is going to be the luckiest guy because he is getting a true GEM!!!!
+Gary Gary Thank you very much! I really appreciate what you just said. It was exactly what I need to here.
+Benja your so very welcome! I meant every word!!!👍
Congrats. Please tell the family and do a follow-up video on that. ASAP, please. When their reaction becomes positive (immediately or eventually) try to include them in a video so we can see and hear their thoughts about the matter. It would so much help those who follow, and their parents.
I enjoyed your video and I'm also in the process of telling my family that I'm bisexual and your video kinda gave me the push that I need
+Stefhon Moody I am glad I could help :) Your family will love you no matter what! As long as you are confident and honest with yourself, everything will fall into place.
Eeck! Is that a solid cinder block wall behind ya? Don't you love college buildings? LOL
You're a handsome, beautiful guy, Benja! Articulate, honest, and engaging.
It's exciting to see how you've grown-- from giving dates the silent treatment/ending friendships, to honestly telling your date it wasn't working for you and ending well, to opening up to all your friends and acquaintances honestly. College can be sooo much better than h.s. True? You'v'e done a really fine job with your coming out video and I hope to see more of you.
Now, all you need is become comfortable talking to your camera in front of others! ;P Looking forward to your next vid!
+dalmatianluvr Yes it's a cinder block wall! hahaha
But thank you very much :) College has definitely changed my life for the better.
And I just posted my second video a few minutes ago, so go check it out!
ua-cam.com/video/f5DZMcJBWpA/v-deo.html
Thanks for this video :) you're amazing
I loved the video, this is so inspiring! Also, you look a little bit like Dominick Whelton c:
I'll take that as a compliment :)
An honest account, thanks so much.
Wow I'm proud of you... Im gay myself too I came out when I was 14.. It was tough but Im glad its out its good feeling.. You are very brave to come out... :-)
Thanks for this. I can relate.
So can i, loved his story. Anyway, hope you are doing well
Don't you wish we could show the haters these coming out stories and show them that it is not a choice.
Congratulations! I admire your courage to come out at such a young age. No one who hasn’t come out could ever imagine how hard it is. I didn’t go to gay bar or do anything gay until I was 30 I feel like I got cheated out of so many years of potential happiness. I didn’t come out to any family my family until I was 67 out of fear of rejection (my parents had passed years earlier). The last thing I wanted was for my parents to be ashamed. I hop you enjoy many wonderful years ahead. You’re so handsome and personable. Good luck. I wish I was in Ukraine
You have an amazing voice and are articulate and engagingand your pretty cute too!
God made us special. To thine own self be true. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you 4 your story 💖🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌💖
I am so happy that society has evolved to permit your generation to come out so freely and openly. I came out last year after 36 years in the closet. I have yet to meet anyone, but at almost 50 my experience will be much different than yours. Please always be appreciative of those who paved the way for LGBT rights and hold a special place in your heart for those who became victims of homophobia, either at the hands of others, or their own. *HUGS*
Hi Kevin...It's been a little over three years since your reply to Benja. You were 50, I'm 70 and still can't get out! How has it been for you since you did come out? In a way, I can say I ran out of people I would have come out to. No parents, hardly any friends, or family. etc...Yes I am very lonely and unhappy. I've been wanting to come out, but I've also been looking for "excuses" to keep putting it off. It's not easy at all!
I'm wishing you the best when u come out to your family
I am glad for you, I wish I had done so I am 62 and still never had been with anyone,no dates no telling anyone,it led me to drug dependency (still a problem)and depression.this is the first time I have admitted it. any advice for an old man anyone?
good story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+MrSquareart Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it.
You'll need to do a Part 2 after you come out to your parents. You'll have a heavy weight off your shoulders when your honest with them.
HOWDY from the lone star state of Texas!
If you like Mark & Ethan, Check out Andrew Goes Places and Evan L, similar stories as yours. You should enjoy Matt+Blue, very positive vlogs about a gay couple raising their son. Should help you feel great about your future, may help your family accept you easier. Good Luke!!
+Dave Helms Thanks David! I will check them all out :)
+Benja Check out The Adventures of Zach and B.
andrew is really growing a lot with his channel
I am actually straight just so you would know but have you told your parents about this? If not you can do a video about that as well
for some reason its easier for me to tell people im a "raging homosexual" than actually saying Im gay
Very good explanation. I've told my story as well on my channel.
Cool you dit it. on a funny Way. Good Job . 😀
OMG I'm going through this at high school. RN
I am very happy for you living your authentic self is the most important thing you can do as a gift for yourself you were created just as you were to be don’t let anybody tell you different. There is nothing wrong. You are a normal person I had a friend of mine I was dating and his mother said hey Brian, what are you doing in bed the same thing you do mom sleep you know people have this image of gay people having sex all the time that’s just not the casewe date we get to know each other we enjoy each other’s company we live lives which just like everybody else so keep doing what you’re doing. Believe in yourself and watch the movie 1946 it will open your eyes.
*support hug* welcome to the pool, mister. ;-) happy outness.
Where are you in South Carolina? I'm in greenwood.
I liked your story and I appreciate all you had to say. I'm in the process of coming out also but it's a lot longer story than yours is . Anyway you were great and cute but you talk say to fast. Much love.
This was in my suggestions and I would consider myself in your position but I'm more or less 90 percent into men and 10 percent into women. I would try to think I was interested in girls when I wasnt. I've tried dating apps but I just dont think I'm attractive enough for a man but at the same time I live in a rural area so I've never gotten much of a chance. I go to a college that is a substantial size but I've not made much progress into dating anyone. I went on one grindr date and it was a disaster. One reason is because at the time it snowed 17 inches and he drove like 2 hours just to see me and another reason is I just wasnt as attracted to him as I thought. So thoughts on my next step? I talk to guys off and on but nothing seems to stick.
+ThePessimistAdam Don't ever say that you are not attractive enough, because that is just not true! No matter what you look like, there will be someone out there who loves you for exactly the way you are!
As for the dating... I guess I would say to not lose faith. The only reason none of them have worked out yet is because you just haven't found the right person. Maybe you will meet him/her on a dating app, or maybe you won't. Have you tried going to an lgbt event or organization on your college campus? That is a great way to meet people who are going through similar situations as you. It could be a strong community and support system for you. And who knows, maybe you'll find that special someone there!
Just stay strong and never doubt yourself. You are an amazing person and I know it will all work out in the end. :)
I died when Katy Perry came on 😭😭😂😂
it is so strange that someone needs to be acepted for what he is. you are one more guy telling it for the world to ear. you fid it well.
if MarkE Miller is inspiring try to see more couples like mallow669 or is friends lafond66. i hope the best for you. byeeee. Charles from Portugal
looks like Tom Daley lol
Good
IS IT TOO LATE? JUST NEED A KIND WORD WISH ALL OF YOU THE VERY BEST
Do yu have a gay orientated Church in your nearest big city or a gay community center that you can get to where they would have socials and meetings they gotta have that stuff now for seniors I know that on Facebook there are groups for just about all categories certainly doubt meeting anyone at a gay bar esp as a senior or older person just get inuslted or put down.
You are a nice guy, and your "coming out" story is cool, but it is real hard to believe that none of your friends in high school didn't suspected you might be gay. After all, you don't seem to be the most masculine dude around. Wish you the best!
You're so cute *-*
Just two words, Safe Sex.
im glad for your courage.im glad everyone was supportive. i made a video myself check it out :)
Great coming out video! I loved your story. I would love if you checked out my coming out video.
highschool so scared. iknow that fel, no friend. nobody have perfect Benja. U should love yourself, what ever they about LGBT. U should not care all word they say, just js they dont like gay.
Fratres, sobri estote et vigilate, quia adversarius vester diabolus tamquam, leo rugiens circuit quaerens quem devoret. (1 Petrus 5:8)
It’s so sad that the states that preach love, non judgment, acceptance, compassion, and charity...all the tenets of Jesus Christ, at least what I was taught...are the states that are the MOST hateful, exclusive, judgmental, and callous actions towards gay people.
I think Jesus Christ would be ashamed of their actions ‘cause it goes against EVERYTHING that he taught through his actions.