My best (undiagnosed) autistic child moment was in music class one day, the teacher got fed up with all of us and snapped "If you don't want to be here, then there's the door!" I thought "Oh, sweet!" and got up and left. I spent the rest of the lesson just sitting outside by myself in the sun and it was wonderful. My friend informed me afterward that the teacher was really shocked I'd done that, but I guess she'd thought she'd brought it upon herself because I didn't even get in trouble. I still don't understand why you'd say that to anyone if you weren't inviting them to leave.
The lack of justice still upsets me, these cruel people cause such long lasting damage to others whilst they get to move on with their lives and forget about it and the people who say get over the pain are just ignorant and have no understanding of the damage childhood abuse causes
Omg i had completely forgotten about the feeling of everyone else knowing everything and me just being confused about who told that, when, and why the fuck everybody was able to retain that piece of information and i seemingly never heard it
I'm 58 and autistic and like your channel. You make me feel less alone. I feel as if everyone else knows what to do but me. Teachers used to be exasperated with me as well. I also found some teachers seemed to victimise me and a counsellor, a few years ago, before I was diagnosed said they saw me as vulnerable.
I had selective mutism in grades 2 and 3. My 3rd grade teacher made a point of always calling on me even though I never put my hand up. She'd make me stand there unable to speak for what felt like forever while the rest of the class laughed at me. Grade 7 teacher called me lazy and stupid and said I'd never amount to anything but a parasite to society just because I'd forgotten to bring my homework in. Yeah, teachers can be the best.
Like, I just can’t imagine what would drive a person to behave like that towards another person in general, never mind a child. Frightening that so many teachers seem to entirely lack empathy
We all had that one teacher at school. Mine was the maths teacher. I will never forget her name. Her name was Mrs. E. Moss. Right little bitch she was. This was 33, 34 years ago so there is a good chance she is now dead. I think she bullied at least 1 kid in every year group she got.
11:12 You're talking about how much you loved egg-mayo, and all I can think about is how much I hate egg sandwiches. Makes me wonder how much of "you can't just eat the same thing every day" is just autistic parents saying "your safe food is my nightmare food".
Faaaah you're describing my highschool years in Canada. I was always in the wrong place or at the wrong time and somehow everyone else knew where to be. It was embarrassing and I just started ditching because I couldn't stand looking stupid. Blerg.
Relatable! I asked a lot of questions when I was a kid and it annoyed people big time. I got banned from Sunday School for asking the Priest too many questions about the bible and its many contradictions and plot holes, which made him uncomfortable lol
That's religion for you. Ask too many questions and the whole lie falls apart. This is why I never liked religion, you can't ask too many questions. Obey or else.
I disliked a lot of the teachers in my schools, they way they forced students to respect them while disrespecting them every chance they got was insufferable. I still have a huge dislike for people who think themselves above others.
Basically when people get a lick of power, even over kids, they like to "excise" that power, at least thats my theory because the rules some of these people enforce are so pointless 🙃
omg my husband and I were just in the car asking each other "Can you imagine ever saying 'because I said so' to a child? What was wrong with our parents?" >.
So many of my teachers were neurotic maniacs that had no business being around children, especially neurodivergent ones. I was assaulted by different teachers on multiple occasions including as a 12 year old being picked up off my feet by my throat whilst my teacher explained that I was the worst pupil ever to then being punished by standing in the main hallway during the rest of the lunch break whilst other teachers walked by saying I probably deserved it or they laughed at my tears or the time my headmaster kicked my legs until I bled because my legs were not under the desk which was too small to fit into comfortably. It was awful being bullied by both teachers and other kids at once. School was a living hell and a sensory nightmare. All I could manage in the evenings was to sit alone in my room in the dark (I wasn't diagnosed with AuDHD until I was 42). School is the best time of your life? Laughably ridiculous.
Roald Dahl's book "A Boy" shows how horrible the UK schools were, just in terms of sadism. As a rule, it isn't anywhere near as bad in the U.S. His book Matilda comes out of his own experience in British schools.
About everyone but you knowing where to go. The process usually looks like that: 1)teacher/director/other student gets info 2)they proceed to the place where most of other students are 3) along the road and on arrival they tell people there has been change in plans 4) everyone, who was there to hear, proceed to another destination So if you were not there, you wouldn’t know. Ways to prevent the situation: 1)stay close enough to any subgroup of the group you belong to (doesn’t matter which one exactly, just one big enough for people to remember it exists) 2)or stay in the destination you’re supposed to be according to the plan all the time (if there are any changes, those who are there will be informed firsthand) 3)nowadays, get yourself into a group chat as soon as possible, usually everyone gets info from it Whom to ask and what to ask if you still got lost: 1) If there is someone else in the destination you were supposed to be, ask them something like “According to the plan *** lesson was going to be here, do you know where everyone is?” 2) If they have no idea or there is no one there, then go find any other teacher/responsible person and ask them for help (usually those people have their own rooms, so it is good to know in advance where those are)
My friend group had this incredible moment when we got old enough to drink and started sitting around yappin in a way we hadn't done as much before that age. One person was explaining the exact thing at 1:55 where a teacher had totally lost their temper and then during a meeting with the family said it never happened and she couldn't understand why the child was making up lies about her. Someone else in the room was shocked because the same lady had done the same thing to him and his family the year prior to the other incident being described. She would totally lose her temper and then lie to the parents, it was a pattern but each person thought they were totally alone.
The last one pissed me off so much because it would happen all the time! The peak of it was when we had grade day, you know when all the parents are supposed to show up and talk with the teachers. And they would tell us the date and the time multiple times, I would write it down, I would tell my dad and then he showed up at that time and he was one hour early or late somehow! And then he would take it out on me because obviously I wasn't paying attention or something. And I don't know how all the other kids got it right! Like the only thing I can imagine is that their mothers called the school and asked for the information (my dad wouldn't do that), or they were in a secret club together and so when something changed they all told one another and somehow I ended up looking crazy!
Oh mannnnnn, I completely forgot about the amount of parents evenings and other school events I obsessed over getting the right time and date for, and also always somehow ended up an hour late or early 🫠 It’s still the bane of my life with events as an adult, I’ve shown up to so many things at the specified time and been way too early, but the few times I’ve left it later I’ve been the only late person 💀
The purpose of school is to condition children to be mindlessly obedient above all else. Mindless obedience and conformity does not work well for a lot of autistic people, which can get us singled out as a "problem."
2:18 this happened to me in 4th grade (9 y/o). She would literally lie in a way that made me look bad, and then I'd call her on it, and she'd get angry at me for that. She *really* resented me and it made me literally sick so I missed a bunch of school. She threatened to hold me back over my absences despite excellent grades...and then recommended I transfer to a school with a "gifted" program. I was able to change teachers the next year, thankfully
It’s a power trip for adults to pick on kids, especially ones that are noticeably different 😢 also to add I eat a egg and miracle whip sandwich almost every morning now so 😋 to all the adults saying you can’t eat the same thing everyday😂
The first one hits hard. Many of the adults from my childhood are still in my life, and they still have mysterious beef with me. Usually they'll have an outburst where they demoralize me for saying something that they just said themselves. What is happenning?! haha
You're lucky. My old school had a 6 day week system. Day 1, day 2, day 3, and so on. So the first day of the school term, usually a Monday would be day 1, Tuesday would be day 2... Friday would be day 5 and the following Monday would be day 6 with the following Tuesday being day 1 and so on. You can imagine this would be a recipe for confusion. If I had been off sick for 2 weeks I had no flipping clue what the day was. I was constantly asking my form tutor what day is it and hope I had the right books for that day's lessons. God forbid it was a day with P.E. and I had forgotten my kit.
Wow! Some of my best memories from childhood are sitting under the dining room table alone or with my cousin and sitting in the big cardboard blanket box in the hall closet with the door shut. Lights could be on or off. Family members would sometimes open the closet door to ask me where certain people were & I usually knew. 😮
it all started with the industrial revolution my dear the modern school systems were invented by factory companies that wanted to pump out good obedient workers and conformity was essential for that.
I think it's a little bit less than natural for most people to question things. The brighter among us do, but it's far from a majority... But when someone fails to properly question things it seems like they're also more likely to view change, or difference, or even a questioning attitude in and of itself as threatening... Not to mention the possibility that it's threatening to authority they happen to enjoy... I guess I'm saying it's a whole web of factors, and it boils down to a human condition where people enjoy being shitty to one another. On the other hand, if you do question things, and if you do methodically reason through them, and if you are humble about your own fallability, and if you are open to criticism... You have good license to dismiss people who like to stand on authority, ceremony, and rhetoric as unimportant.
Just started the video and literally the first thing happened to me too!! I got diagnosed when I was about 9, I think? But before that, and after it too, there were a couple teachers who just... loathed my mere existence in their vicinity. I think the worst was my year 2 teacher. Horrible woman, hated me specifically but also just seemed to not like children in general, which is still a bit funny to me. I remember in Year 3 they announced she was moving back to Scotland to be a teacher there at a big full school assembly. I'm pretty sure at least one kid cheered. The other main nemesis of mine was my Year 9 History teacher.... He just... really didn't like me. Like, I can understand being annoyed with me because I just... didn't do the work half the time, but it was in part because I genuinely could not concentrate in his class, which he actively contributed to! The layout was wrong, he explained things poorly, I couldn't see the board clearly, he got mad any time I stimmed, and would tell me I wasn't allowed to work with headphones on EVEN WHEN HE'D EXPLICITLY GIVEN THE WHOLE CLASS PERMISSION 5 MINUTES EARLIER. Like, sorry, sir. You can't complain about me being a shite, inattentive student when you also did not in anyway attempt to meet my needs as an individual and actively ignored me half the time. Like. I LOVED history. Still do. After Year 9 it was one of my top subjects, because I got teachers who understood me and actually knew how to make our lessons engaging. But he was just.... not a great teacher.
I'm an autistic substitute teacher (currently suspended for being autistic). When you have an annoying student that is bugging you, one hour seems like a long time.
I’m sorry you are having a tough time, I remember an hour seemingly like an eternity because my anxiety is so out of control at times, even though I have suffered because of my autism I am actually grateful for it because it stops us becoming mean spirited bullies like the people who make us suffer.
one thing that i dont get and don think i ever will get is people asking Yes or No questions and then being genuinely shocked or upset when you tell them the your answer and its not what they wanted, like if you just wanted a specific thing from it just f-ing ask that?
The other side of this is when I ask a yes or no question and they later say they only say one way or the other because they felt like they had to and like…I literally asked so you could say either yes or no? If I wasn’t giving the option of yes or no, I wouldn’t have asked the question?
I was bullied SO MUCH by teachers, parents of classmates/friends, family friends etc… it was terrible 😣 I think they could tell I was different and couldn’t stand it 🤷🏻♀️ so unfair… a lot of shitty people find themselves in positions of power where they can project all the unprocessed shit from their own childhoods onto other victims. I’m so glad the schools I went to didn’t require uniforms and we could have our own style and individuality… I would have gone mad if we had to all look the same 😬 telling me what to do with my hair?! That would have triggered my PDA so much I would have been expelled probably 😂
The experiences you (and some other diagnosed people whom I stumbled upon by pure chance) are talking about are so relatable that I've started to completely re-evalute and re-think my own experiences.
Relate. One of my teachers insisted on having a private meeting with my mum and went on about how I was "going to grow up to be a bully and a liar".. I'm 32 now and I'm just a bitch who hides in her house and is afraid of her peers 😂
There should be better screening for teachers so bullies could be excluded! I've been a primary teacher & there are a LOT of bullies, particularly in management roles & disproportionately as heads. I was bullied out of teaching in the end. My first head teacher grabbed me & shook me when I was 5, for "not listening" - I had glue ear & my hearing was intermittent 😑 It's awful that children are bullied by other children & adults too 💚
I've had a certain dream all my life, where I suddenly find out there's a final exam (usually in math), that I had no idea about. I hadn't even been going to this class. In the dream, I try to figure out where I had been and what I had been doing from 10:00 to 11:30 AM every day, and I feel very, very confused. It's an awful dream, because it underlines the fact that I have been confused all my life, especially about time.
Same thing with me and my 3rd grade teacher Mr. Dieter. he made me cry he was so scary. I would do things labeled as disruptive when it was just me trying to make myself more comfortable in an uncomfortable classroom with uncomfortable chairs and desks(putting a book on my head like a hat to block those damn florescent light bulbs) I do wonder what all my teachers thought of me. i flew completely under the radar for any kind of neurodivergency all throughout school up till about a year ago
Growing up, it was usually other children who would beef with me without me knowing why. What was really weird is that they often would eventually start to like me, but I wouldn't know why that happened either. I just kept making enemies, getting into weird cycles of revenge, and winning them over all for reasons I couldn't fathom like some kind of condused shonen protagonist.
I remember getting bullied at school and at high school I ate and drank the same food and drink at break times. I had support because I have Irlen syndrome, but was not diagnosed with autism until adulthood. Irlen syndrome you wear coloured lenses as glasses.
I’ve such similar experiences to yours, very individualistic, attention to detail, unafraid of authority/blatant disregard for it. Have you ever taken an IQ test? The need to interact with those outside of your peer group and the hatred toward your preciousness is oh so familiar.
You're fortunate! By grade six, five of my teachers had an obvious dislike for me. And one of my son's teachers hated him, put hateful comments in his permanent school record. I was blessed to realize the problem wasn't me, I hadn't done anything to provoke them. I figured they were dealing with issues in their own life, so i didn't let it bother me.
My son likes to have the same lunch every single day. He's been this way ever since pre-school. He has the same weekly schedule in terms of dinner what time and with which parent, with some variations. Like with his dad, they get takeout from a few kid-approved places and his order is the same every time. With me, we do takeout, pizza, or a rotation of: hot dogs w/just ketchup on buns, hamburgers w/just ketchup on buns, chicken breast with steamed broccoli and basmati rice, nachos, or tacos. Every Tuesday, he prefers chicken, broccoli, and rice since that's his favorite home cooked meal. On Wednesdays, he picks one of the other 4 options. Mondays and Thursdays are with his father and Fridays are always pizza hut, same order every time. (ETA: this will continue to evolve as he gets older, as he currently eats so many more foods than he did as a young child, but I think I'm noticing that he enjoys having some rhythm to his week. He currently has 4 breakfasts he rotates for weekdays and 1 preferred weekend breakfast, and he eats a few other meals that I didn't list out when he's with his grandparents on Saturday evening and Sundays during the day). I had a similar experience as you, so by adulthood, I had tried so many things. Squishy tomatoes in soup, meat with gristle, meat with any kind of "wrong" texture, and for some amount of years, oatmeal--these were all no-gos. And no fish or clams in my case, texture issues. In addition, my mother had been bullied viciously for her weight as a child, and she developed eating disorders and passed them on to me. Her mother as well was anorexic as a teenager. I've gone through anorexia (restriction), bulimia (purging), and binge-eating disorder (bingeing but without purging). Now I think, oh no, it was this unfortunate family history passed down to how my mom raised me PLUS autism amplifying things to be so much worse. Now I take Wegovy and for me, it made my thoughts go from being 85% about food to now being about my hobbies, interests, and work. It helps me more than my ADHD medicines with regard to feeling like it's cleared my mind. I take it on the lowest dose, though, and it does make many foods give me stomach cramps now. Basically, I feel queasy if I look at bread or pasta or noodles. That's like the opposite of how my brain was before. Now I get actual cravings for vegetables instead of just candy. But yeah... as a child, I had tried lots of salads and all kinds of dishes that my son wouldn't dream of trying. He hates the way soup looks and has never once tried it in any form. He's also never tried juice or soda (arguably a good thing for the most part), only drinks water no matter what. He can be barfing up his guts and he still won't try any electrolyte drinks, so we started getting Powerade electrolyte freezer pops and he likes those. Finally at age 12, when he's sick, there's at least one "probably a placebo but hope it makes you feel better" food for him to nibble on, lol! I'm just happy to see him eating and growing up healthy. The only times we've worried about "solving a problem" with his eating were when he was getting quite restrictive about any fruits and veggies and only wanting to eat plain crackers. His overall pattern looked like a recipe for diabetes, which already runs in my side of the family. We gradually worked him up to eating some servings of broccoli each week and sometimes green beans. For fruit, he tolerates apple slices and strawberries. He takes gummy multivitamins daily to help pick up the slack, and an additional D vitamin since he has low vitamin D in the blood levels like me. I write all this just to say that there are common-sense ways to break down problems in eating (actual nutritional deficiencies, harmful eating disorders) and still allow an autistic person the comfort of safe foods and routine. The way I see it, there is so much we can't control in life, and that's even more true for a child. I need to give him opportunities for autonomy wherever I can. Giving him freedom to choose what he eats for meals is such a no-brainer. Middle school is hard, but maybe it's a little easier when you have the comfort of knowing your lunch will be comforting and right for you every day. And he gets to grow up knowing that the adults in his life CARE about him. We care about his needs. Sometimes I do ask him to stretch outside his normal food routine by offering him some baby carrots or something, and if he says no, I don't guilt-trip him or try to persuade him further. I give him the respect of accepting his answer. This is just something that is very important to me because I know there will come a day when he asks me for something and I'll have to give a firm "no" for safety reasons or logistical reasons, and when that happens, I know he'll be able to take it in stride because he has so much evidence showing that yes, I am on his side, I do want to help him build a happy life. Can't believe this is the topic that got me fired up enough to write a long comment, sheesh! But yeah I'm all about agency for my child. I don't take shortcuts with him. If I want him to respect me, I have to respect him the same amount.
Unfortunately, I recognize some of myself in this. I think independence of will is seen as insolence by adults who were harshly disciplined as children. I could be talking to my father about the weather, and he would go into a rage. There was something about me that infuriated him. I had a friend who got so angry at me in the middle of a normal conversation that he kicked a chair across the room. I stood up and said, "I may be annoying, but you are f...king psychotic." And left. I think some of these people just expect everyone to agree with them all the time. I asked a lot of questions in school, and this made a couple of teachers openly hostile to me. By questioning them, I am saying "you aren't being clear," and that interrupts their self-indulgent fantasy of being "the boss."
I remember I missed a class bus trip one time, it is funny now, but it felt embarrassed than. I think I also one time went saturday or a holiday or something and I was like where is everyone. A lot of teachers are idiots and losers, I was rather lucky in having a good mix of good ones and just some idiot or asshole teachers sprinkled in. I come from a country without school uniforms and it is very bizarre that some countries put their kids into uniforms, I mean it tells you right there anything you need to know about the institution. I wonder if you had a crush on your teacher with no bra lol.
Cute cat 😍 I'm not trying to be biased here, but teachers seriously HATE children and people whom are different than them and different to the norm. I don't understand why though. It really irks me because they are supposed to raise the children to become functional members of society...
When you said in the video that everyone in the class knew something you did not know. Is it possible that it was said verbally by the teacher in the lesson and you did not hear them ? That you were busy doing your work and you completely missed it ?
My best (undiagnosed) autistic child moment was in music class one day, the teacher got fed up with all of us and snapped "If you don't want to be here, then there's the door!"
I thought "Oh, sweet!" and got up and left. I spent the rest of the lesson just sitting outside by myself in the sun and it was wonderful.
My friend informed me afterward that the teacher was really shocked I'd done that, but I guess she'd thought she'd brought it upon herself because I didn't even get in trouble.
I still don't understand why you'd say that to anyone if you weren't inviting them to leave.
What a madlad
Ugh some adults are just so mean to kids, and they never get held accountable for the harm they are causing 😡
The lack of justice still upsets me, these cruel people cause such long lasting damage to others whilst they get to move on with their lives and forget about it and the people who say get over the pain are just ignorant and have no understanding of the damage childhood abuse causes
Omg i had completely forgotten about the feeling of everyone else knowing everything and me just being confused about who told that, when, and why the fuck everybody was able to retain that piece of information and i seemingly never heard it
Explains our hyper vigilance. I still get “attacked” randomly while minding my own fecking business.
I'm 58 and autistic and like your channel. You make me feel less alone. I feel as if everyone else knows what to do but me. Teachers used to be exasperated with me as well. I also found some teachers seemed to victimise me and a counsellor, a few years ago, before I was diagnosed said they saw me as vulnerable.
I had selective mutism in grades 2 and 3. My 3rd grade teacher made a point of always calling on me even though I never put my hand up. She'd make me stand there unable to speak for what felt like forever while the rest of the class laughed at me. Grade 7 teacher called me lazy and stupid and said I'd never amount to anything but a parasite to society just because I'd forgotten to bring my homework in. Yeah, teachers can be the best.
Like, I just can’t imagine what would drive a person to behave like that towards another person in general, never mind a child. Frightening that so many teachers seem to entirely lack empathy
We all had that one teacher at school. Mine was the maths teacher. I will never forget her name. Her name was Mrs. E. Moss. Right little bitch she was. This was 33, 34 years ago so there is a good chance she is now dead. I think she bullied at least 1 kid in every year group she got.
Ew! 😢❤
God I'm so fucking sorry. You should never have had to have gone through that and it's a failing of so much that you did
11:12 You're talking about how much you loved egg-mayo, and all I can think about is how much I hate egg sandwiches. Makes me wonder how much of "you can't just eat the same thing every day" is just autistic parents saying "your safe food is my nightmare food".
Faaaah you're describing my highschool years in Canada. I was always in the wrong place or at the wrong time and somehow everyone else knew where to be. It was embarrassing and I just started ditching because I couldn't stand looking stupid. Blerg.
Relatable! I asked a lot of questions when I was a kid and it annoyed people big time. I got banned from Sunday School for asking the Priest too many questions about the bible and its many contradictions and plot holes, which made him uncomfortable lol
That's religion for you. Ask too many questions and the whole lie falls apart. This is why I never liked religion, you can't ask too many questions. Obey or else.
I disliked a lot of the teachers in my schools, they way they forced students to respect them while disrespecting them every chance they got was insufferable. I still have a huge dislike for people who think themselves above others.
That last rant about things at school just randomly changing and everyone else knowing but you really hit home with me. Thank you for sharing that.
Basically when people get a lick of power, even over kids, they like to "excise" that power, at least thats my theory because the rules some of these people enforce are so pointless 🙃
I know right!
Yeah it sucks middle management syndrome even strikes parent and child or teacher and children dynamics
omg my husband and I were just in the car asking each other "Can you imagine ever saying 'because I said so' to a child? What was wrong with our parents?" >.
So many of my teachers were neurotic maniacs that had no business being around children, especially neurodivergent ones. I was assaulted by different teachers on multiple occasions including as a 12 year old being picked up off my feet by my throat whilst my teacher explained that I was the worst pupil ever to then being punished by standing in the main hallway during the rest of the lunch break whilst other teachers walked by saying I probably deserved it or they laughed at my tears or the time my headmaster kicked my legs until I bled because my legs were not under the desk which was too small to fit into comfortably. It was awful being bullied by both teachers and other kids at once. School was a living hell and a sensory nightmare. All I could manage in the evenings was to sit alone in my room in the dark (I wasn't diagnosed with AuDHD until I was 42). School is the best time of your life? Laughably ridiculous.
Absolutely not the best time for any of us neurodivergent adults
Roald Dahl's book "A Boy" shows how horrible the UK schools were, just in terms of sadism. As a rule, it isn't anywhere near as bad in the U.S. His book Matilda comes out of his own experience in British schools.
About everyone but you knowing where to go. The process usually looks like that:
1)teacher/director/other student gets info
2)they proceed to the place where most of other students are
3) along the road and on arrival they tell people there has been change in plans
4) everyone, who was there to hear, proceed to another destination
So if you were not there, you wouldn’t know.
Ways to prevent the situation:
1)stay close enough to any subgroup of the group you belong to (doesn’t matter which one exactly, just one big enough for people to remember it exists)
2)or stay in the destination you’re supposed to be according to the plan all the time (if there are any changes, those who are there will be informed firsthand)
3)nowadays, get yourself into a group chat as soon as possible, usually everyone gets info from it
Whom to ask and what to ask if you still got lost:
1) If there is someone else in the destination you were supposed to be, ask them something like “According to the plan *** lesson was going to be here, do you know where everyone is?”
2) If they have no idea or there is no one there, then go find any other teacher/responsible person and ask them for help (usually those people have their own rooms, so it is good to know in advance where those are)
My friend group had this incredible moment when we got old enough to drink and started sitting around yappin in a way we hadn't done as much before that age. One person was explaining the exact thing at 1:55 where a teacher had totally lost their temper and then during a meeting with the family said it never happened and she couldn't understand why the child was making up lies about her.
Someone else in the room was shocked because the same lady had done the same thing to him and his family the year prior to the other incident being described.
She would totally lose her temper and then lie to the parents, it was a pattern but each person thought they were totally alone.
Yep
The last one pissed me off so much because it would happen all the time! The peak of it was when we had grade day, you know when all the parents are supposed to show up and talk with the teachers. And they would tell us the date and the time multiple times, I would write it down, I would tell my dad and then he showed up at that time and he was one hour early or late somehow! And then he would take it out on me because obviously I wasn't paying attention or something. And I don't know how all the other kids got it right!
Like the only thing I can imagine is that their mothers called the school and asked for the information (my dad wouldn't do that), or they were in a secret club together and so when something changed they all told one another and somehow I ended up looking crazy!
Oh mannnnnn, I completely forgot about the amount of parents evenings and other school events I obsessed over getting the right time and date for, and also always somehow ended up an hour late or early 🫠 It’s still the bane of my life with events as an adult, I’ve shown up to so many things at the specified time and been way too early, but the few times I’ve left it later I’ve been the only late person 💀
The purpose of school is to condition children to be mindlessly obedient above all else. Mindless obedience and conformity does not work well for a lot of autistic people, which can get us singled out as a "problem."
2:18 this happened to me in 4th grade (9 y/o). She would literally lie in a way that made me look bad, and then I'd call her on it, and she'd get angry at me for that. She *really* resented me and it made me literally sick so I missed a bunch of school. She threatened to hold me back over my absences despite excellent grades...and then recommended I transfer to a school with a "gifted" program. I was able to change teachers the next year, thankfully
It’s a power trip for adults to pick on kids, especially ones that are noticeably different 😢 also to add I eat a egg and miracle whip sandwich almost every morning now so 😋 to all the adults saying you can’t eat the same thing everyday😂
The first one hits hard. Many of the adults from my childhood are still in my life, and they still have mysterious beef with me. Usually they'll have an outburst where they demoralize me for saying something that they just said themselves. What is happenning?! haha
You're lucky. My old school had a 6 day week system. Day 1, day 2, day 3, and so on. So the first day of the school term, usually a Monday would be day 1, Tuesday would be day 2... Friday would be day 5 and the following Monday would be day 6 with the following Tuesday being day 1 and so on. You can imagine this would be a recipe for confusion. If I had been off sick for 2 weeks I had no flipping clue what the day was. I was constantly asking my form tutor what day is it and hope I had the right books for that day's lessons. God forbid it was a day with P.E. and I had forgotten my kit.
Wow! Some of my best memories from childhood are sitting under the dining room table alone or with my cousin and sitting in the big cardboard blanket box in the hall closet with the door shut. Lights could be on or off. Family members would sometimes open the closet door to ask me where certain people were & I usually knew. 😮
The way you said "beefing with me" made me laugh so hard; I can relate! also just never knowing whats going on and everyone does; how?
it all started with the industrial revolution my dear the modern school systems were invented by factory companies that wanted to pump out good obedient workers and conformity was essential for that.
I think it's a little bit less than natural for most people to question things. The brighter among us do, but it's far from a majority... But when someone fails to properly question things it seems like they're also more likely to view change, or difference, or even a questioning attitude in and of itself as threatening... Not to mention the possibility that it's threatening to authority they happen to enjoy...
I guess I'm saying it's a whole web of factors, and it boils down to a human condition where people enjoy being shitty to one another.
On the other hand, if you do question things, and if you do methodically reason through them, and if you are humble about your own fallability, and if you are open to criticism... You have good license to dismiss people who like to stand on authority, ceremony, and rhetoric as unimportant.
Just started the video and literally the first thing happened to me too!! I got diagnosed when I was about 9, I think? But before that, and after it too, there were a couple teachers who just... loathed my mere existence in their vicinity. I think the worst was my year 2 teacher. Horrible woman, hated me specifically but also just seemed to not like children in general, which is still a bit funny to me. I remember in Year 3 they announced she was moving back to Scotland to be a teacher there at a big full school assembly. I'm pretty sure at least one kid cheered.
The other main nemesis of mine was my Year 9 History teacher.... He just... really didn't like me. Like, I can understand being annoyed with me because I just... didn't do the work half the time, but it was in part because I genuinely could not concentrate in his class, which he actively contributed to!
The layout was wrong, he explained things poorly, I couldn't see the board clearly, he got mad any time I stimmed, and would tell me I wasn't allowed to work with headphones on EVEN WHEN HE'D EXPLICITLY GIVEN THE WHOLE CLASS PERMISSION 5 MINUTES EARLIER. Like, sorry, sir. You can't complain about me being a shite, inattentive student when you also did not in anyway attempt to meet my needs as an individual and actively ignored me half the time.
Like. I LOVED history. Still do. After Year 9 it was one of my top subjects, because I got teachers who understood me and actually knew how to make our lessons engaging. But he was just.... not a great teacher.
I'm an autistic substitute teacher (currently suspended for being autistic). When you have an annoying student that is bugging you, one hour seems like a long time.
When you get disciplined for vague reasons that come out of the blue, you know that the reason is that you are autistic.
I’m sorry you are having a tough time, I remember an hour seemingly like an eternity because my anxiety is so out of control at times, even though I have suffered because of my autism I am actually grateful for it because it stops us becoming mean spirited bullies like the people who make us suffer.
one thing that i dont get and don think i ever will get is people asking Yes or No questions and then being genuinely shocked or upset when you tell them the your answer and its not what they wanted, like if you just wanted a specific thing from it just f-ing ask that?
The other side of this is when I ask a yes or no question and they later say they only say one way or the other because they felt like they had to and like…I literally asked so you could say either yes or no? If I wasn’t giving the option of yes or no, I wouldn’t have asked the question?
That rainbow button thing was genius 😂 👏
I was bullied SO MUCH by teachers, parents of classmates/friends, family friends etc… it was terrible 😣 I think they could tell I was different and couldn’t stand it 🤷🏻♀️ so unfair… a lot of shitty people find themselves in positions of power where they can project all the unprocessed shit from their own childhoods onto other victims. I’m so glad the schools I went to didn’t require uniforms and we could have our own style and individuality… I would have gone mad if we had to all look the same 😬 telling me what to do with my hair?! That would have triggered my PDA so much I would have been expelled probably 😂
The experiences you (and some other diagnosed people whom I stumbled upon by pure chance) are talking about are so relatable that I've started to completely re-evalute and re-think my own experiences.
Relate. One of my teachers insisted on having a private meeting with my mum and went on about how I was "going to grow up to be a bully and a liar".. I'm 32 now and I'm just a bitch who hides in her house and is afraid of her peers 😂
There should be better screening for teachers so bullies could be excluded! I've been a primary teacher & there are a LOT of bullies, particularly in management roles & disproportionately as heads. I was bullied out of teaching in the end.
My first head teacher grabbed me & shook me when I was 5, for "not listening" - I had glue ear & my hearing was intermittent 😑
It's awful that children are bullied by other children & adults too 💚
I've had a certain dream all my life, where I suddenly find out there's a final exam (usually in math), that I had no idea about. I hadn't even been going to this class. In the dream, I try to figure out where I had been and what I had been doing from 10:00 to 11:30 AM every day, and I feel very, very confused. It's an awful dream, because it underlines the fact that I have been confused all my life, especially about time.
If feel this. In first grade I was shut down by a teacher because I was constantly asking Questions about Jesus 😂😢 that really had an impact on me.
Same thing with me and my 3rd grade teacher Mr. Dieter. he made me cry he was so scary. I would do things labeled as disruptive when it was just me trying to make myself more comfortable in an uncomfortable classroom with uncomfortable chairs and desks(putting a book on my head like a hat to block those damn florescent light bulbs)
I do wonder what all my teachers thought of me. i flew completely under the radar for any kind of neurodivergency all throughout school up till about a year ago
Growing up, it was usually other children who would beef with me without me knowing why. What was really weird is that they often would eventually start to like me, but I wouldn't know why that happened either. I just kept making enemies, getting into weird cycles of revenge, and winning them over all for reasons I couldn't fathom like some kind of condused shonen protagonist.
I remember getting bullied at school and at high school I ate and drank the same food and drink at break times. I had support because I have Irlen syndrome, but was not diagnosed with autism until adulthood. Irlen syndrome you wear coloured lenses as glasses.
I’ve such similar experiences to yours, very individualistic, attention to detail, unafraid of authority/blatant disregard for it.
Have you ever taken an IQ test? The need to interact with those outside of your peer group and the hatred toward your preciousness is oh so familiar.
I was almost late for my music GCSE exam because I completely forgot it was that morning.
You're fortunate! By grade six, five of my teachers had an obvious dislike for me. And one of my son's teachers hated him, put hateful comments in his permanent school record. I was blessed to realize the problem wasn't me, I hadn't done anything to provoke them. I figured they were dealing with issues in their own life, so i didn't let it bother me.
I love your videos Dana! 😊
My son likes to have the same lunch every single day. He's been this way ever since pre-school. He has the same weekly schedule in terms of dinner what time and with which parent, with some variations. Like with his dad, they get takeout from a few kid-approved places and his order is the same every time. With me, we do takeout, pizza, or a rotation of: hot dogs w/just ketchup on buns, hamburgers w/just ketchup on buns, chicken breast with steamed broccoli and basmati rice, nachos, or tacos. Every Tuesday, he prefers chicken, broccoli, and rice since that's his favorite home cooked meal. On Wednesdays, he picks one of the other 4 options. Mondays and Thursdays are with his father and Fridays are always pizza hut, same order every time. (ETA: this will continue to evolve as he gets older, as he currently eats so many more foods than he did as a young child, but I think I'm noticing that he enjoys having some rhythm to his week. He currently has 4 breakfasts he rotates for weekdays and 1 preferred weekend breakfast, and he eats a few other meals that I didn't list out when he's with his grandparents on Saturday evening and Sundays during the day).
I had a similar experience as you, so by adulthood, I had tried so many things. Squishy tomatoes in soup, meat with gristle, meat with any kind of "wrong" texture, and for some amount of years, oatmeal--these were all no-gos. And no fish or clams in my case, texture issues. In addition, my mother had been bullied viciously for her weight as a child, and she developed eating disorders and passed them on to me. Her mother as well was anorexic as a teenager. I've gone through anorexia (restriction), bulimia (purging), and binge-eating disorder (bingeing but without purging). Now I think, oh no, it was this unfortunate family history passed down to how my mom raised me PLUS autism amplifying things to be so much worse. Now I take Wegovy and for me, it made my thoughts go from being 85% about food to now being about my hobbies, interests, and work. It helps me more than my ADHD medicines with regard to feeling like it's cleared my mind. I take it on the lowest dose, though, and it does make many foods give me stomach cramps now. Basically, I feel queasy if I look at bread or pasta or noodles. That's like the opposite of how my brain was before. Now I get actual cravings for vegetables instead of just candy.
But yeah... as a child, I had tried lots of salads and all kinds of dishes that my son wouldn't dream of trying. He hates the way soup looks and has never once tried it in any form. He's also never tried juice or soda (arguably a good thing for the most part), only drinks water no matter what. He can be barfing up his guts and he still won't try any electrolyte drinks, so we started getting Powerade electrolyte freezer pops and he likes those. Finally at age 12, when he's sick, there's at least one "probably a placebo but hope it makes you feel better" food for him to nibble on, lol!
I'm just happy to see him eating and growing up healthy. The only times we've worried about "solving a problem" with his eating were when he was getting quite restrictive about any fruits and veggies and only wanting to eat plain crackers. His overall pattern looked like a recipe for diabetes, which already runs in my side of the family. We gradually worked him up to eating some servings of broccoli each week and sometimes green beans. For fruit, he tolerates apple slices and strawberries. He takes gummy multivitamins daily to help pick up the slack, and an additional D vitamin since he has low vitamin D in the blood levels like me.
I write all this just to say that there are common-sense ways to break down problems in eating (actual nutritional deficiencies, harmful eating disorders) and still allow an autistic person the comfort of safe foods and routine. The way I see it, there is so much we can't control in life, and that's even more true for a child. I need to give him opportunities for autonomy wherever I can. Giving him freedom to choose what he eats for meals is such a no-brainer. Middle school is hard, but maybe it's a little easier when you have the comfort of knowing your lunch will be comforting and right for you every day. And he gets to grow up knowing that the adults in his life CARE about him. We care about his needs. Sometimes I do ask him to stretch outside his normal food routine by offering him some baby carrots or something, and if he says no, I don't guilt-trip him or try to persuade him further. I give him the respect of accepting his answer. This is just something that is very important to me because I know there will come a day when he asks me for something and I'll have to give a firm "no" for safety reasons or logistical reasons, and when that happens, I know he'll be able to take it in stride because he has so much evidence showing that yes, I am on his side, I do want to help him build a happy life.
Can't believe this is the topic that got me fired up enough to write a long comment, sheesh! But yeah I'm all about agency for my child. I don't take shortcuts with him. If I want him to respect me, I have to respect him the same amount.
Unfortunately, I recognize some of myself in this. I think independence of will is seen as insolence by adults who were harshly disciplined as children. I could be talking to my father about the weather, and he would go into a rage. There was something about me that infuriated him. I had a friend who got so angry at me in the middle of a normal conversation that he kicked a chair across the room. I stood up and said, "I may be annoying, but you are f...king psychotic." And left. I think some of these people just expect everyone to agree with them all the time. I asked a lot of questions in school, and this made a couple of teachers openly hostile to me. By questioning them, I am saying "you aren't being clear," and that interrupts their self-indulgent fantasy of being "the boss."
you keep to yourself and be yourself and they think your stuck up it's a them problem not a you problem.
HA! First viewer AND like on a Dana Andersen video ❤ I'm Winning out here in these streets 🎉
🎉🎉
lol omg getting in trouble for writting “sex: female” HAHAHA what is this world?
Love your hairdo❤
I remember I missed a class bus trip one time, it is funny now, but it felt embarrassed than. I think I also one time went saturday or a holiday or something and I was like where is everyone. A lot of teachers are idiots and losers, I was rather lucky in having a good mix of good ones and just some idiot or asshole teachers sprinkled in. I come from a country without school uniforms and it is very bizarre that some countries put their kids into uniforms, I mean it tells you right there anything you need to know about the institution. I wonder if you had a crush on your teacher with no bra lol.
Cute cat 😍
I'm not trying to be biased here, but teachers seriously HATE children and people whom are different than them and different to the norm. I don't understand why though. It really irks me because they are supposed to raise the children to become functional members of society...
When you said in the video that everyone in the class knew something you did not know. Is it possible that it was said verbally by the teacher in the lesson and you did not hear them ? That you were busy doing your work and you completely missed it ?