The 7 Things The Narcissist Will Do When You Go No Contact
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If you've experienced narcissistic abuse, you may feel like you're dealing with lasting damage to your mental health. Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling powerless, confused, and deeply hurt. But there is hope for healing and recovery. In this video, we'll explore the brain damage caused by narcissistic abuse and show you how to reverse its effects.
Check out my website where you can contact me to talk about one-to-one coaching and therapy - www.carolinestrawson.com
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I look forward to helping you on your journey to not just survive after narcissistic abuse but THRIVE
Love Caroline Strawson xoxo
#NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #Narcissist
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I think you'll love it!
This is exactly what happens.
Is the link still available
Man, I miss who I was before I let this person get in my head...
Same here i forgot myself and selfneglect no empathy at all no remorse
Wasted years is the worst
AWARNESS, THATS GREAT !!!
We're actually better people afterwards bc we have gahtered knowledge we didnt have before.
Your not alone @jaleel I lost myself
I miss me . I used to workout everyday. Felt & looked Amazing
I can’t get back in it . Idk 🤷♀️
It’s been a year now .
However he still is relentless
My emails are Obsessive
So Angry 😡 😤 😠 saying evil things .
Everything I trusted him with
My childhood. Or family stuff
He twist it so ugly & damaging
I refuse to read his emails any longer.
The past 7 years. He goes back to his ex girlfriend.
In his eyes he’ has said “ to make me jealous & so I would have him come back home 🏡 smh 🤦🏻♀️
Horrible.
As of last night. I found out he’s back again with her .
I message them both & said
I’m happy you guys are together
I’m free . I was so happy 😁 LOL
😂
Yet today I’ve been so sad 😞
I want to heal . I MISS ME SO MUCH
❤️💯💯💯
How do they all have the same behaviors? It’s so amazing that their behaviors are so classic.
They are copycat just like their father Satan. They are demons I believe put here to destroy good.
Satans time is almost up......he uses his children to seduce innocent by fake love.
All NARCISSISTS ARE 5 yrs. Old emotionally.
Blessings
They read all the same Book "Essentials of a Psychopath."
@@ronfirek5824 They are under bondage by demons and why they live their lives following the values of all the 7 deadly sins. They need Jesus.
FACTS... smh
I thought that same thing! I listened to one of her other videos describing thier behaviors and things they say and patterns and was just in complete awe bc she was describing my life with a narc to a T.
Its better to be alone then to be with a person like this.
8 months no contact and life time to go!
Yaaa
Way to go!!! Related on my no contact feel like I’m back at square one like we freshly broke up. How’s u stay so strong ??
well said--i could write a book on my ex---i might just do that!!!
You can do it! Your life will get better. I have been no contact with my mother for almost 21 years. I didn't even know what narcissism was 21 years ago but I knew I could not be around her anymore. She was slowly killing me. I am happy and healthy decades later. Good luck to you!
@@carmensandiego9843 trust that you will get better and you will be able to look back and reflect. You will be very proud of yourself when some time passes. You can do it!
21 days no contact always has them coming back with the best apology and “epiphanies”. That moment of clarity lasts until you accept their apology, then right back into the abuse you’ll go.
Yes...my ex always came back with "epiphanies"... he never followed through with them though.all fake.
U r right
Exactly. Such demons.
Very true smh
Absolutely. Stay strong and remain vigilant always. They are not your friend - ever 🙏
Going No Contact will guarantee excellent results....
No need to explain anything to them.
Healing is much better and faster!
Complexion looks amazing!!
No Drama!
Relaxed and Happy!
You deserve the Best!!
Love yourself💖💖💖
Carol Loraine no contact is key to healing and Thankyou 🙏
Carol Loraine Exactly
Carol Loraine thank you how i always see it.
Carol Loraine No contact and never ever look back!
#CHOZAN
Complexion immediately clears up, incredible.
The smear campaign hurts the worst. On your voicemail, they're vowing their love for you. But behind your back they're ripping your character to shreds to anyone who will listen. They do this to psychologically force themselves to blame you so that your abandonment hurts less & keeps them emotionally afloat for their next round/batch of supply. Are they faking the separation anxiety? No! They really do feel pain when they're abandoned. BUT, it's "I hate you, don't leave me" selfish pain. It's "How dare you refuse to tolerate my abuse" pain. Your sudden dose of strength & backbone is repulsive & offensive to them. They throw themselves a big pity party, not b/c they're empathizing with how they've hurt you (and deserved to lose you), but b/c they can't believe that yet another person in their lives woke up & finally saw them for the empty manipulators they are. They're grieving the loss of supply, NOT you as an actual person. That's why it's crucial you don't fall for their tears, pleading, begging or attempts to contact you. Go no contact, not to hurt them, but to save yourself.
Jesus you described my ex wife to a tee!!!
The h
Living w/ a NARC for past 7 years & she has sucked the very life out of me! I went no contact, took over our bedroom. Changed flowery/girly bedding to more manly. Bought my own separate toothbrush holder, wrote my name via Sharpie on my food in frig, TP, leaving seat-up purposely on toilet, and began parking my truck in her spot in our driveway. I completely shut off her supply. She would poke and provoke me until one day, I finally snapped/lost my shit... No abuse but, broke a window when I slammed a door. She cut herself picking up glass then called police & received a protection order via lies...
The smear campaign began long before this. She made me feel ALL negativity was my fault. I’ve lost very-very old friendships because she went through my friend’s spouses and ruined my reputation telling her lies. I’m sooooo biter and hurt. Only been 2 months since I moved out... Just now figuring out all the damage she caused me I had her on a pedestal...
I had 40 voicemail messages my abusive alcoholic ex BF left.
I never played any of them. The police 🚔 did incriminating violence
Yes! So true. My husband (we r separated now) smeared & bashed my name to his entire family & turned them all against me. We have 2 children together so it hurts the kids as well because it completed divided us from the family. Including his grandma who The kids & I loved dearly. He takes partial truths & twists them into a lie making himself always look like the victim. He’s done it with the neighbors, all his friends, coworkers & family. He’s an alcoholic & a porn/sex addict. It hurts soo much that I not only lost my husband, but all what I thought was my family too.
3 months no contact and I feel back to my old self ,I honestly don’t miss them no more emotional pain
The narcissist I was with just contacted me today from a different number because i blocked him out my life. He's begging me back saying it's his fault and he loves me and he's not finish with me yet. I just want to grow healthy and love myself. I don't want to go back to him . I wish he would just let go. He says he feels lost and think about me all the time. I think he just misses his good supply. This supply ran out. I love him but I love me more now.
Yes, that's one of their tricks. Be prepared. No point in changing your own phone number, blocking etc. Set your social media to private, don't change for them and become totally paranoid. Take care.
Spirit OfLove I’m going through this now he’s abandoned me but messaged me over a week ago ‘I love you, I can’t move past you’
He left me full of serotonin as I had fallen deep
I believe he’s got another source he’s lying to manipulate me.
Now I know wtf all this was / is I’ve deleted him completely.
My energy feels numb I can’t imagine he will be back now? It’s weird I don’t know why I feel like he will contact me again?
How are you?
Spirit OfLove
Being with a Romantic Narcissist is like eating a Nectarine rotten from the inside out.
You take a bite of the seemingly normal Nectarine, the fruit is delish overwhelming, it’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted. (love bomb) ( Mirroring)
It gets you high, happy, addicted. (Serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins hormones).
You don’t even look at the Fruit you just want more, you really enjoy it, the more you have, you grow to love it.
The closer you get to the core, over time, once the fruit knows you love it, you notice something isn’t right, it begins to taste bitter, the sweetness is becoming less available.
But you keep wanting more of that thing that made you so high, the fruit is turning bitter, sour, unpleasant, you look and begin to notice the fruit is rotten at the core.
(Devaluing stage)
You can’t get rid of the Fruit, because your addicted now, you believe that sweet taste is still in there somewhere, you eat around the rot, it’s not feeling good for you anymore. (Hoover)
You keep eating, you long for that sweet bliss you had at the beginning, but its out of reach, it shows up less and less.
You get glimpses of it, but when you go to eat, it disappears (ghost) it is sour, revolting. (Devalue stage)
There is no comparison at all anymore, but still you eat around the rot, taking nibbles, you realise in shock that the fruit is now black at the core, it’s teasing you, the fruit no longer wants you to enjoy it.
The Fruit has gone to someone else.
(2nd Love source, stage) triangle.
Your now sitting with a mouldy rotten core in your life, you can hope and try to get that sweet fruit but it’s gone.
The stench is foul, your confused, traumatised the Ecos remain of how beautiful it once was, your in desperation and longing for the fruit to return, hope has left you.
(Victim)
You need to get rid of it and leave RUN, before it makes you unwell and ill.
Never ever pick it up again!
(Survivor)
I was with my first narc for 4 years, he manipulated me abused me mentally psychologically emotionally and sexually.. that time I didn’t know what a narcissist..but due to such abuse I left him and my latest ex covert narc knew all the story about him and how much I was broke..and he very smartly made me go mad for him and controlled me for one year he was the sweetest initially but my fibromyalgia was worsening up in this time and when I needed little care for myself he started showing his true colors once he got comfortable w me . I finally left this person as well a month ago... horrible shit I went through and he still asks my friends about my health to make me confuse about my decision.
LegOver Lass it’s so sad to see people like us being used and manipulated without a single fault of ours. :(((
They always have more than one as a backup for their insatiable thirst for glorification.
She studied me for months and now she has become me . She pretend to be nice , helpful, funny , friendly person, when in reality she is a shadow a human monster.
This is happening with my mil. She is imitating me with my children. :0
You are so right they watch and copy you
Yes they do copy us but they can’t be us . They are empty , ugly , horrible monster with no heart ❤️ soul , feelings , emotions etccc.
That reminds me of the movie Single White Female.
Scary, calculating perpetrators who want to consume, and destroy you.
I used to be a heroin addict. I broke up with a narcissist a little over a month ago. Can confirm the addictive state is very similar. Narcissist withdrawal is like heroin withdrawal without the flu like symptoms.
lynnthegreat10 wow Thankyou for sharing and you can do this 😊
Why is it addictive? It seems like it would be a relief.
Same.
Wow
There is a book called Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare that explains the addiction. The victim is treated like they are playing a slot machine-they see affection one time and abuse six times and back to affection one time. It is so heartbreaking and confusing that it actually changes the victim’s brain like a drug does. They can’t break free because they are trying over and over to get the good person they know is in there somewhere.
Oh ya, I’m almost 66 and just learning lol. Never to Old.
Hi Pamela, I am also 66 and have just cut my evil, destructive narcissistic son out of my life (I have three sons) and it feels great!!!!
If i told you everthing she did to me--you wouldent believe it--im HURT--and broken about it all
@@jimmcg6209 You can recover. I understand how you feel, they have a very clever ability to say/do the things that will hurt you the most.You can't believe that some on would be that way with no reason for their over-reaction. It leaves you shocked.Now you have to look after and protect yourself.
@@hilaryjones3227 Yes i will recover---through time and with the help of Family and Friends--i came back to Scotland from America with absolutely Nothing (3 years ago now ). I admire people like youself that encourage me to carry on with my life (my ex cleaned me out financially) so when i decided to leave-i basicly had to start again from scratch . I refuse to look backward
@@jimmcg6209 Good for you! Well done! You are stronger than you think.
When I discovered that my husband is a narcissist it was the best thing ,I was finally able to understand what was happening in my life I was confused about his behavior, listening to these videos on narcissist as help me to heal and move on with my life knowing I did nothing wrong and there's nothing I can do to change this person.
Marcia Samuels absolutely 🦋🙏
Marcia Samuels dear the absolute same happen to me i was soooo confused and i didn’t understand why is he sooo difficult to understand, ive never understood it until i dont know how but god lead me into these videos cuz i would pray for clarity and lil by lil ive learned how to let go, ignore him and just block him entirely. Some days are very difficult and i do provide him supply but im getting better. Wish u all the luck. Thanks for sharing 😊
diana madera Update?
Same!!!
“They run a smear campaign”
My ex tried to black mail me with nude photos he had and said if I didn’t quit school he would show all my classmates. I told him “go ahead, I look good in those pictures” he was soooo mad that I wouldn’t take the bait 😂🤣
Jessica Foutz 😂
Well done
Lmaoooo!
Jessica Foutz I love your response you go girl they hate being beat at there own game also you can go to the police for them blackmailing and that is serious offence
My EX narc made a horrible video of me drunk and naked passed out. I refuse to let him blackmail me. If He shares it he shares it! I look a mess, but I will press charges on his ass!!!!
Proverbs 26:20 - "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases." 16:00 in video
also another verse states...abandon the quarrel before it breaks out...Jesus ignored his naysayers he didnt placate them or waste any time or energy on them...
@@Lauren-vd4qe Exactly! Before it even gets close to fighting, get the heck out of there! Rule number one of Brazilian (Gracie) ju jitsu is to do whatever it takes to get out of a fight. The same applies when someone is waging psychological warfare against us. There's no point arguing with stupid ones. That's a verse somewhere too I think. =)
@@propagandatechniques exactly...why put energy into a dead end...like driving down a dead end street...
@@theblondesolution8797 I often thought with one foot out the door and perhaps spoke when my hippocampus was shrinking that it seemed like a one way street to a dead end where the only way out is bad. You have to chew your leg off to escape - apply for a job in another country. =)
@@propagandatechniques
The Bible also states...answer not a fool...so dont have any response to a fool...ignore them...
He regularly tried to hoover me. I said Put your Dyson away and buy yourself a new ego. No contact forever. Who wants a relationship with Satan? No thank you
Yay Clair!!
Well stated ....I’m in my divorce....we work in the same office....I wanted to explane get someone to understand. I decided to keep it simple ‘ in a divorce/ changed my schedule and let my manager know I am standing firm in no contact to keep drama out of the office. This has worked well. His crazy out bursts and request are showing himself to them directly. It’s still hard . But your statement” who wants a relationship with Satan ? “ really resonated with me. Ty
Loooooooooool right
I got discarded 5 months ago and already received several messages.
I'm keeping the rude ones and sending to my attorney. After divorce I will block him forever! He can go back to hell with his new supply...lol
They hate that you are a genuine and lovely human beings.Deep down they hate themselves, are control freaks and bullies.
The best way to get over a Narc is to find a wonderful person to share the rest of your life.
Boney James that starts with YOU
Exactly
best revenge
I disagree, broken people should be healing, not dating
My self esteem is so low. How can i be lovable when my ex Narcissist said im a dime a dozen. He will leave me for the bottom of the barrel. Im so broken still after 30yrs.
I left my narcissist husband of 21 years, 21 years ago. The funny thing is, recently my 33 yr. daughter informed me that her father is a narcissist. She believed all the things he said about me for a while, but now she knows the truth. The children have individually been discovering the truth about their father. I feel sorry for him, but there is nothing we can do. I do NOT regret leaving him.
P G,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🥀,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life
I hate it when they use the children as a weapon I MEAN WHAT TYPE OF WEAK AND PATHETIC FATHER DOES THAT! because they’re playing with their children’s emotions. I see it as (which is how my mum bought me up) no matter what bad they do “narc dad” never let the children know of your feeling because eventually they do discover for themselves just as I did with my narcissistic dad an now I thank my mother everyday for giving me every opportunity to spend time with my narcissistic dad even after the cycle of let downs it took me till mid 20’s to wake up an go “you know wot fuck u dad” and NO CONTACT AND IVE NEVRR FELT BETTER ON THAT! 12 yrs later!
I’m just sad that I hated my mum for my dads behaviours but she tells me I was just a child also now my mum is my best friend who I thoroughly rely on trust her words any days over his lies! RI’m just mortified that the cycle of abuse has happened again as I’ve been in a narcissistic abuse relationship for 10 years mad at my self for not recognising the traits sooner before my beautiful child! I hate how history repeats itself through generations so praying my daughter doesn’t go through this!
Really is nice (& heartbreaking to hear what you’ve gone through) but nice an comforting to know we r not alone and there is hope so thanks for telling your story! 🙏
I finally ended for the 3rd time with a narcissists today.. I feel lost but relieved at the same time.. I pray I can stay strong..
@@simplefamilylifeohara5318 it's hard girl when they her u back.. swear to change it doesn't last long. I pray for strength girl. We owe it to ourselves if nothing more. Lots of love..
Penny laine me too and these videos are really helping me understand
Penny laine sign up for NARP now.
@@puffdebi where do i join because I could sure use some help.. I ended up taking him back only to end it again a week ago.
You can! You did it once, you’ve already proved to yourself that your capable.
I have been no contact with the first narc for 4 years now, and a little over a year with the second narc. The nightmare is finally over.
How do u feel now?
Way to go!
I have a healthy dose of empathy but these people will use this to feast on your soul and steal your essence. No contact is the thing to do if there any chance. Best thing I have ever done👍 Different ones will keep coming along until you learn your lesson.
Spot on. I was my grandmother's victim. She hated me more than anyone else on the planet. I went NC eleven years ago and she went over the top with her smear campaign. Wrotte letters to my friends, my Dad, my hairdresser... She even testified in my divorce and tried to help my ex take custody of our Daughter. Finally this year she passed away. It's the first time in my life that a person's death has made me happy, and that in itself makes me sad.
That's terrible I'm soooooo glad u r ok
I was relieved when my narcissistic grandmother passed.
Please don’t be sad......you didn’t deserve an6 of that dreadful behaviour...
She didn't hate you. She hated your parent, her child. She just took it out on you....maybe blamed you for something. Sounds like a sad bitter to the end lady.
I think the smear campaign is the worst when it comes from family. It’s fortunate that you won’t have the abuse anymore. But it so hard that aside from death you couldn’t get away from the monster.
I discarded my ex-girlfriend about two months ago, her true colors came through during the devaluation stage and I knew exactly what I was dealing with, a stone-cold narcissist and I called her out on it and she called me a narcissist. I call that the turn around, the difference between her and I was I could take criticism and I could admit when I was at fault, I could give a sincere apology whereas she was completely incapable. The only thing she was capable of was manipulation and control, great video!
Hugo Stiglitz that’s interesting. The first time I ever heard the term “empath” was my narc ex telling me how he was one. Talk about bizzarro world.
@@lizalaska5084 The narcissist is extremely clever about who they pick, I'll give you a huge red flag warning on a first date, if anybody starts asking you very personal questions on a first date you are dealing with a narcissist. They are sizing you up, people are changing because of social engineering and social media. I know, are there any normal people left in the world? To be honest Liz I'm giving up on relationships.
@@lizalaska5084 my name is Chris good to meet you, I subscribed to your page and I'll check out your videos :)
you know I'm not crazy about being single but I do have the capability of enjoying my own company. I'm not going to completely write off relationships because I do believe there are still good people out there, but people are changing, it's really scary and very very disappointing and sad.
Truth!
@@hugostiglitz4215 dont give up on relationships , just choose wisely,with your experience you will be able to recognise them from miles away
My parents were physically abusive narcissists growing up so I became one to manipulate them in letting me go at 18. I have no contact with them since then and I’ve had a difficult time transitioning myself into society at first but I’ve slowly started to regain my life. I’m alone now but happy
I've just realised every friend and relationship Ive had has been with a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, drug addict or alcoholic...
I feel like I've become a trained psychiatrist lie detector police officer 😂😂😂
Claire Ellis haha!! I felt like that but you can rebuild your life and friendships
@Midwest Mello These people chose you. But as long if you being aware you can choose to not be around them.
@Midwest Mello ive taken responsibility by self therapy with CBT to find out where all the lies thats caused my limiting beliefs and low standards came from. And NLP to vision the future. I have an empathic free living fun loving and caring personality. Its until my 30s i understand the extent of the abuse and negelect i suffered as a child and told it was my fault. That causes you to run away to other nutters (your normal)
You eventually realise it was not your fault. And when you become "awake" and you do take responsibility. Finally saying goodbye to old people and patterns of behaviour (even good ones) that were used against you is very sad but very beautiful.
Its a life of learning x
Whahahahahahasaaa!
You are the company you keep!
You are spot on about this subject. I lived it and when he admitted he had met someone it killed me BUT my response was “ I am so happy for you, I wish you nothing but love and light”. He got so angry when I did not react in an angry way. I went no contact right after that and he went on rages.
@@Anastasia11101 Well done you! Once my head started to take over the emotions of utter heartbreak and realize the game he was playing, it was mandatory he see no negative emotions from me. I figured that out without the benefit of UA-cam videos and I did not know his disorder was covert narc. My instincts kicked in and those instincts helped to reset me.
You are not in love with a narcissist. You are in love with yourself. The narcissist is mirroring you. And what you see in a narcissist is yourself.
It can look like you find your soulmate because you are like twins. But they are just mirroring you.
Go no contact is difficult to do. Because you miss your "soulmate" so much. But the narcissist was actually yourself.
It's great to love yourself. When you love yourself you can also love someone else.
So go no contact is a must for yourself. You deserve better.
Be alone is not so bad. It's better be alone than be in wrong relationship.
Better be alone than marry wrong.
Yes. I. Felt. The. Same
I just watched an episode from a series where there was a narcissist who said to his wife "We are me" and I must say that sentence is the most accurate thing to describe what It's like to be with a narcissist.
Great video. I called him out on his disorder told him I know he is a narc and I went no contact in the same house! A week later he moved in his new supply. I had a no contact, and exit strategy in placed, I left moved to new state, I'm extremely happy now. 😎
just a practicindiva Thankyou
just here very happy for you and good riddance they lost a good thing and they will realize it
They do the most disrespectful shit ever!!!!!
How did he react to the narc label? How did you feel about the new supply?
Will a narcissist ever truly miss you or regret what they did? Or wish that you hadn't left?
I have gone through a Narcissistic abuse...so so Deeply hurt. Now I'm trying to write a book about my experience...
Do the book let everyone know the devil is real
They’re evil 👿 they love to see you hurting. They want you to take responsibility for they problems.
they are not sadists. They do not AIM to see you hurt. They want attention, do not read into what is not there. watch Sam Vaknin.
I feel like my ex Narcissist goal is to make me suffer. Than he says he loves me.
Murthfucks`! ¥
Mary Hampton you’re telling lies from the pit of hell with this statement 🙄
My mother makes her problem my problem then puts me down when I can't if all her problems for her.
They are evil...
Sharon Anderson yes they are
More damaged than evil.
More than evil my dear.they are nameless
They suffer from Complex Post Traumatic Stress, just like other cluster B's. Live and learn with Peter Walker.
and insane
I finally went no Contact after a painful relationship with my Ex. I left on a serious note of him wanting to be a player and me not agreeing. I am Finally free at last and moving forward ty God! He has texted me, but I have just ignored them and will continue to do so. No more control, or a broken heart! I’m done put a fork it it !
Stephanie White Keep on strong 💜 I am one month narc free , no contact , I like the ' put the fork on it ' I will use the saying 😂 thank you !!!
I left just days ago too..... lets .pray for one another...We NEED it...😚 its an emotion rolli coaster....
You need to block in order to keep them off
block his numbers
I’m now on 7 hours of no contact and it’s having an effect already. Lol this is really helping me today. So thank you for that…
I like the heroin - Narcissist addiction analogy. I can't attest for the heroin, but I can for the NPD withdrawal. It is painful.
Nonsense person like narcs don't deserve my time. Stop wasting it. They're good for nothing.
25 years with a narcissist. His last chance was this past January. Watching tons of videos and learning. Everything that is said about a covert narcissist is so accurate 100%.
Did your narc accuse you of being the narcissist too? I used to leave up the UA-cam channels up just to see my narc’s reaction. After deciding he wasn’t in denial I knew he knew he wasn’t normal. Talk about narcissistic injury. They don’t like you once they know you know they aren’t normal.
Just be strong and let all different kinds of crazy people go their own way and ignore them.We all make mistakes letting not just narcs but a variety of nuts into our lives until we find out it's too late. Just disconnect from them once you recognize the uneasiness and the delusional sensational lies they be telling you.
You hit this subject on the nail. My Ex passed away over 10 yrs ago. We were married 15, and yes I lived in a fairy tale, trying to make it work...but eventually realized he was a narcissist --I didn't really know what that was at the time. But now I've come to realize that there is someone else in my life who I realize is not good for me. I've tried to please for years, and the manipulation --praise, then mostly criticism... never good enough... took me years but I've finally come to terms it's a toxic, substance abuse relationship--or addiction to wanting a relationship to work, and it's obvious it never will. This person doesn't deserve my love or presence in their lives. But the manipulation continues with notes being dropped off... i can only forgive, and let go... I hope eventually this person realizes I've woke up & I deserve better.
Linda Bohannon,you deserve better!
When the therapist starts to see through them, they ghost, lol.
foxiefair123 absolutely and they won’t want to return to that therapist
@@CarolineStrawsonHealing Took my wife to two therapists, two visits each and she never went back to either one.
Yep, mine did it every time, marriage counselors, psychiatrists and a Reverand. The reverand actually told him he was a asshole to his face. I was stunned!
When I was a black sheep teen the state required family therapy for my family. At the end of 6 wks of therapy sessions, 5 therapists sat at a table to meet with me and my mom and informed her that she was emotionally abusing me and she was actually the problem, not me. I could not believe it! I thought I was a bad person and a "bad seed" up until that point. My mother then proceeded to insist I get out of my chair because she could not hear these professional call her out. She is still the same person to this day. It took me a while to no contact out of guilt but my like is so much better now without her toxic and negative projections. I love my mother but sad, I do not miss her.
@@starangelsa that is awesome lol
I told my mom that I was going no contact with her, but she turned it around and said she was going no contact with me! Then she tried to tell everyone she knew that I am the crazy one. She turned all of my sisters against me. She hasn’t tried to contact me, but I did hear that one of my sisters and my mom were talking about me at Thanksgiving and said that I need mental help. They are awful and want nothing good for me!
I fell into the "reaction" phase with a narcissist. Fortunately, I felt that it was a game for her. A way to have last control before I moved on. No contact works, trust me. Fresh air is amazing.
2 yrs later and I still ask myself if I am the narcissist! Deep down I know I am not the manipulator here.
I feel the same way i wonder if i am the Narcissist . Than i know he moved on and im still broken and confused.
Well you titled yourself princess
That is part of the abuse. If you wonder if you are a narcissist too, you are not. You are the victim. Read Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare.
May I just point out some steps that survivors may need to take. If you really do not want to hear from, or see your ex narc again. Change your phone numbers,change your locks,change your email address,get CCTV around your home.change your bank card numbers etc.If they contact a family member,just pretend you forgot to get back to them. All of this may sound a bit extreme,but if it is what you have got to do,then do it now! I learned the hard way!!!!!! Good luck to all survivors.......you're gonna need it.
Doug Hewitt great additions to the video 🙏
@@CarolineStrawsonHealing thankyou Caroline for your reply. My ex female narc girlfriend got a policeman from her local station to agree to meet him for a 'chat' at the police station. How stupid I was to agree. At the end of our 'chat' he told me he had known her for many years and he thought she was very nice. I could go on and on as to what I think they might have 'got up to' in the past. I have had to learn a lot of hard lessons. Lesson no.1.......don't trust a narc. Lesson no.2.......don't trust the police. Lesson no.3.......get away,get away,get away. A part of me can laugh about it all now, but it sure wasn't funny at the time. Good luck with your channel,You've got a new subscriber!
Doug Hewitt you are right. I’m passionate about educating people like the police on this type of abuse because like you, if you met my ex husband, he would be charming. Glad you have subscribed and please spread the word 🙏
@@CarolineStrawsonHealing thankyou again. But please be careful.....our British police force is full of narcs.......especially the Male ones
Doug Hewitt small steps can lead to even minor changes and that’s a positive 🦋
While going no contact, change all locks and passwords to everything. Remember, they are control freaks!
Yesssss! Mine tried to break into my Facebook. I created a whole new email and password for it.
Thank you so much for this video. To know that you had a 14 year relationship with a narcissistic person and you have such a sunny disposition now has really cheered me up. I wish you all the happiness in the world
The fact that u make yourself available to reach out to when tempted to respond to the narc is such a excellent idea, cause sometimes you just need someone that's non judgemental that understand precisely what u are dealing with, so helpful thanks
Thank you for making this video....I have been suffering the affect of the narcissistic smear campaign recently, lost a few "friends" and wondered if it was all me. Much love all, onwards and upwards x
Thank you Caroline, this message is so important and post separation abuse is so real and damaging. I appreciate your channel so much, you are such a strong empowering woman ❤
26yrs with a narcissist, sociopath, high functioning bipolar with 5 other personality disorders. A con man, cheat, mentally abusive, manipulative the list goes on. Our life appeared glamourous, moving all the time from state to state, countries in Asia and Europe, always running from trouble. Consequently, our four children and I have ended up with mental problems. About twelve years have passed since our divorce and my world has changed irreparably. The only way I can describe it is that I have been broken, put together again but non of the pieces fit anymore, despite help from psychiatrists etc. I am usually a positive person and don't share my thoughts as no one would believe me, it even sounds ridiculous to me, but today is a bad day.
Thank you Dear...I started to feel free from that whole abuse I went through
When I left my husband I moved to my mothers house and my husband kept ringing me a begged me to come home and give it another try. My mother in law rang me and was disgusted with me for leaving him She said that I I should ignore his threats and stay with the family. I felt so guilty and returned to him . He seemed more calm at first but now he is abusing me again . I am so sorry that I returned to him . I am looking for a job and then I will leave him again but this time change my mobile number as nd no contact
Louisa klimentos don’t let anyone abuse you.
Wish you all the best 💕🦋
No
U don't have to change your number just don't answer trust me u had that phone b4 him r with him it is yours
Only thing u should changed is just let him go
Stop thing start loving yourself
N trust what u did good to him
He will remember it
But when he finds a wpmen he want to b honest and faithful to
She gonna play his ass so hard
He gonna have karma worser then he played u trust me just
Do u do not talk to him bcuz u feeding him your energy
Let it go
I am so dam beautiful i was the best thing he ever had
But when he lost me i broke him down.
Do not talk
Do not listen to them
Act like u do not c them
Do not even say hi
Look good
Dress good
N flirt with his friends about how nice he look
It will burn his ass up
Bcuz what he fuck up
His friend hands up
To a good women
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😁
I got him chasing me
N i still act like i don't c him
Go out with his friends do not talk about him
Just hang out with them have lunch let him think what he done to u a women is more vicious then him
N never ever even if he say he sorry
He is not
U will break and shut his hold attitude and thoughts down
N now u acting like him
Beat hom at his own 🎮
U WON😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I wish my daughter could hear this. But ..if I send it 2 her..I'm the "bad guy", sadly. Maybe one day, I pray. Thx 4 it..& ur caring 2 educate the victims of this disorder 🙂🙂
Diana Allison my mother too had the same wish but I now see it I’m sure she will see it too
Deeply traumatised because of a covert narcissist, Caroline your real and speak volumes to me.
I’m so glad I found you. Thank you so much
There are times that people really don't realize that they are being narcissistic. I have been accused of it but never realized it until I started researching. I am not looking to be the victim ,I admit I did a lot wrong . Now I am looking for a way to correct myself.
If you admit you did a lot wrong and want to do better, you are not a narcissist!
If they the narcissist can contact u. Then u haven’t gone no contact. They need to be blocked from every aspect of ur life.
Not always possible when you have children
I’ve literally just found your channel... I’ve listened carefully and I just wanted to say Thankyou.... you said and explained something that has had me in tears. I thought it was me who was the narcissist..... I am 31 days free and today was the first day I didn’t wake up and feel those butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Thankyou so so much.
It’s been 2 weeks for me, waking up with knots in stomach and nauseated. I’m glad to know this internal pain in the nervous system ends.
Thank you, this video has been of great help. Excellent tips on a very frustrating problem that is ridiculously challenging to deal with. I was feeling fairly alone and dismayed over this topic, so thanks again, and take care!
You're wonderful Caroline! Thank you for all of your insight and support! We need more in the world like you!
I have been doing research on narcissists and came to realize I ended 2 back to back relationships which involved narcissist/borderline personality disorder. Which lasted 18 years between two relationships. The last relationship used my hardships from the first as ammunition to devastate me before she discarded me. The last time I was discarded she decided to contact me after 8 months of no contact which I fell for and got discarded more rapidly the last time. Every time the damage gets worse. Now I know she's got to be permanently removed from my life. Furthermore I know what to look for in future relationships and stop the madness right away, because there is no fixing a narcissist.
I have a t-shirt that says: How I block you from real life?
I wear it often.
D Noble haha
I stumbled across your channel last night, and I so appreciate your honesty, and humour, about something so confusing and upsetting.. stay strong and stay beautiful, thank you for sharing, it makes me feel not so alone... 🌷🦋
Omgosh. Thank you SO much for stating that we sometimes even start to think WE might be a narcissist. I’ve been dealing with someone for over a year who I now believe to be one and today I actually started thinking it might be me despite the fact I know damn well it isn’t.
In my case, the narcissist wanted to communicate only via messaging. It was about the time I figured out he was a narcissist, and we had horrible fights because we have a child together. He received all my messages that I sent to him in anger, and used them against me by showing them to everyone as a part of a smear campaign.
It is not always clear to the outsiders, who is the narcissist and who is the victim. He made me look like the narcissist, but by following these great channels I have taught myself about the narcissism. Now I am stronger and I understand what was going on. I can protect myself from the narcissistic abuse.
What comes to this video, all the 7 things took place with the narcissist exactly like you described just by modifying the contact.
Just went no contact 12 days ago from a narc-borderline. I have a 6 ft 4 son at home and many other protective people and factors that will keep him at bay. iPhone blocking feature is heaven!
Mary Pickford well done
I agree! I went no contact and never want to see him again! I was more lonesome being with him than I am now people my family and friends have gathered around me and have circle me with love so much love. The narc used to turn his back on me and play games on his computer for hours without saying a word to me and when we sat at the table to eat he wouldn’t talk to me he was a real real jerk. An asshole!
I have no idea of what height it means but I find it cute and funny; protective son 🤗🍀 (I m swiss Im not speaking feet language lol)
Thank you for this!! My narc. Ex has been saying the most horrible horrendous things to me lately, driving me insane. Your NO CONTACT advice has given me my power back :)
Thank You, for all of this wonderful information! Blessings to you for creating this website. It has helped me a great deal.
BRILLIANT...UTTERLY BRILLIANT VIDEO.
I have now DEALT with 5, possibly 6 narcissists...currently LAUGHING at their NOW obvious "behaviours" or more like STUPID CHILDISH ACTIONS.
Every single one of them is predictable.
God, it's actually mind-blowing just how EASY they are to deal with. One of them i went NO CONTACT with a month ago is leaving a complete trail which can be followed by their lack of knowledge of how frequently or infrequently you have these folk who they are contacting in your lives...e.g. One friend recently contacted me for the first time in 6 months...we spent two hours together and i just listened, listened, listened...awaiting the NARC'S name to be mention...but i just sensed it, that the narc had been in touch..the next day i asked my friend straight out..HAVE YOU TAKEN ANY CAĹLS FROM "THE NARC" IN THE LAST MONTH"...
"OMG YES came the answer..how did you know?
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA....HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA......all of the narc's harmful work effort undone in 10 minutes. What the stupid narc didn't realise was that this was a friend who once LIVED a STALKER situation i onced faced thirty years before...and this friend KNEW the score..plus his current girlfriend is going through the same situation.
KNOWLEDGE IS KEY.
NARCISSISTS are 7 year old in adult's bodies...and i have faced off a vile violent one of 20 stone+ with these words...
I SEEEEEEEE YOU....BYE BYE....ON YOUR WAY NOW.
I have recently got away from a narc feeling all the emotions of loss just trying to remain strong
richard grannon--youtube, intent. change intent and change your life! God Bless!
Went through the same emotional turmoil-numbness like you are now. It's even harder when you have to stay away from friends & family siding with your narcissist. Yes, they are supposed to believe & support you, but when narcissist twisted the truth badly to spite you further...oh Lord...their betrayal is what makes us depressed, hopeless & shattered.
If you have reached this stage, it is a lost cause a.k.a. don't try convince your family & friends your innocence anymore. If you do, you're helping the narcissist look better than you, and you, more villianious in their eyes. Find your peace AWAY from anyone your narcissist accessed to during this healing time. Give Time a chance to give you back your self-esteem & strength in yourself you've lost. Time will also help you be less needy for people's approval & throw away "friends" who were fake/toxic all along. Time will reveal your narcissist as the villian in the end. Reach out to narcissism survivors for support, because we all have been to there. Let's heal together ❤️❤️
Same here but im tired of his narcissist ways ,that i can just walk away ,he will show up at my door, I would hat to have him arrested.
You hit every nail on my vulnerable narcissistic mother's head. I haven't spoken to her since August and she keeps trying to make contact. I only allow her to send things to her grandkids and that's it. I wonder of sending a thank you (from them) is keeping her in control but I teach my kids to be grateful even if what she sends is nothing they enjoy. She still calls, I never answer. She has also manipulated family to get them to tell her what I've got going on. That has stopped so she has no source of information anymore. My family is on my side, so her smear campaign never goes that far. Just hope to be done with this some day.
The only way to break the cycle of contacting to argue or self doubt about breaking up with them is NO CONTACT. It’s tough but it gets easier with time.
This is really true that's why I kept coming back after several physical abuses because I still fell on his guilt trips and being sorry for him. I already left him but still struggling with it.
I walked away cold turkey
Maryanne Knox I did 2. It was like an outer body experience. I left his house with nothing and this is the 7th day but I told him be4 I wasn't coming back and I'm not plus i knew he wasn't right from the start. Stay strong🙏🏾💅🏾💪🏾
Mary Ann Knox That is the very best way to do it!!,
Yup me too been almost 2weeks now. And he has since killed the dog and taken many people i thought were my freinds and turned thrm against me
going into my Third Month!!!
This is very good information, thank you and yes they move on quickly because they need supply .
I didn't even realise I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 5 years until it was too late. Felt broken in the end because I truly loved her, took her for psychiatry, despite the abuse, betrayal, stuck with her hoping for the implausible change. Now I'm finally moving on without any heading nor intent just to find tranquility. I loved her with all of my heart until the end.
Yes he's left and I just found out hes been texting a woman for 5 months and "Loves" her etc. He just left me after 13 months of using me and my credit card debt $11,000. I am devastated emotionally and financially.
Sunny Daye I’m so sorry to read this. I know it’s hard but be glad he is out of your life. I hope you start caring for yourself.
Karma will come around on this piece of **** who did this to you....feel free to talk to me 👌
I’m a male 29years marriage.. I definitely need to get in this group. I’m still living with her.. was facing 20to life on false charges.. definitely need the support 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
PULPO Miami wow
Facts!!! I’ve experienced almost all of these since I fled from him. I am happy to be free and safe.
Loved how authentic you are Caroline
Angie Eissa,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
This narcissism has worsened since cell phones came into play. This damn messaging etc is how they control. I have a love hate for cellphones because of this.
My narc got a 2nd phone to play his game on. Freaks out like a house on fire if he can't find his "player phone" LOL.
@@divinedachosenone348 these people are truly crazy and obsessed. My ex narc has a tracker on my car. I can't find the track.
*tracker
@@michellewilliams4538 have u tried taking it to a mechanic? They could probably help u. Good luck.
Change your number and DO NOT set up your voice mail.
Hi am nancy from kenya. I have lived in the same compound with my nassistic mother in_law for 6 yrs but only found out about narcissist here recently. I could not understand what was going on coz everything i did was wrong to her. When i got married to my husband( his son) she gave me a job( in their family business) but she later fired me saying i was disrespecting her. I and my husband now knowing the truth of who she is, have started building our house and i have gone no contact. Am happy to say that its working. Thanks for this platform.
Thank you for your time to make these videos.
Everything you say hits home hard.
I feel like I have wasted so much time.
me too
Wow this is too accurate thank you feel like I'm not so alone hearing someone else put it into context
Hi Caroline, my narcissistic ex, broke up with me exactly the same way - a liar and a cheat!
My narc hoovered me eventually just so they could do the final discard and it was BRUTAL. Smear campaign, blocked on all social media etc. Narcs will do everything to have the last word and protect their ego. This narc used the birth of a baby to bring me back in, how could i not congratulate and be happy for them. Perfect time for them to ditch me in my hour of need. This person is a medic so during this crisis will have ample supply through the glory and adoration of saving lives. Which of course is great but their motive is supply and power. Simple.
All
I can on my texts to him
Now is his last words ringing out…. No response by me.. it’s empowering… keep looking at it and every time I do I get a bit more strength.. I’m just waiting for the hoovering…
Watch the last text they sent you without a response and do a happy dance…
@@frannsh5100 so true, leave them hanging without positive or negative supply is empowering and better than blocking them. Its like u are saying I'm unbothered by you and my life goes on, sit back and watch from afar.
Thank you Caroline for this video. The smear campaign is indeed a very difficult part of the process. I had never been in an intimate relationship with a narcist before my ex. A red flag about what could possibly happened to me down the road, was when he spoke badly about his ex wife and past two long-term relationships during our first date. He would continue to speak negatively about these three women to me and all his friends and family throughout our 4 year relationship. Therefore, I knew when I finally had the courage to leave, he would make himself the victim and do the same to me. Another flag was whenever I would ask him, "what do you think you could've done to have been a better partner to these women", he could never admit to doing anything wrong. The only thing he would sometimes say was "maybe I was a bit controlling". This was flag number 2. Questioning him would also make him go on the defense and cause arguments. To prepare myself for his smear retaliation, I had to really develop a strong sense of self. I had to continually tell myself I was a good person and that I had tried my best in the relationship. I had to convince myself that whatever his audience heard about me from him, and the opinions they created, were not my business and didn't matter. Also, my ex is in his 50's and I am sure that his family and inner circle are starting to catch on to his patterns and inability to take any responsibility for his actions. I walked away knowing that I had loved his friends, children and family with all my heart and pray that my time with them would ultimately leave the lasting impression.
This is so helpful, I was in a relationship for 7 years. I’m finally free from him. He was cheating on me and is seeing another girl in another country, tried to hide it from me and wanted me to believe we were just on a break and still engaged on Facebook, You’ve basically described what’s just happened to me. I am still struggling with anxiety and worry, but your videos are helping me so thank you xxx
Very informative video, thank you 💕
Lisa Paulo you are welcome
I remember about a year or so after I had left my ex, he started messaging me being sweet as anything, and asked me if we could get a coffee together and I gave in and said ok... I was shaking and felt like I was having a panic attack, I had said yes because I was scared of him. Apparently he still had that power over me, that was until I told my new partner about it and he said I don't owe him anything and he's just trying to coerce me back in. I told my ex that and you should have seen how fast he changed... calling me names, abusing me, telling me to never talk to him again because I'm a horrible person. I blocked him after that and he tried to contact me once more, attempting to get information about my new life with my new partner etc, with apologies again, trying to be as sweet as possible, but I told him I'm doing fine and that was it and I blocked him. Never spoke to him again. He sure knew how to lay on the guilt! I'm grateful for meeting my best friend now soon to be husband who helped me out of this situation.
Caroline u are one of the most amazing therapist I’ve ever learnt from. You’ve explained so many things that I’d blamed myself for which I now know is not my fault! So thank so much for enlightening me! I truly wish we could give our 16 year olds a compulsory psychology class in secondary school so that the class could explain personality disorders an therefore giving our teenagers the opportunity to choose a future partner wisely by knowing what traits to avoid in a partner! I really wish I’d of had this lesson many years ago instead of being stuck in a narcissistic relationship for almost 10 yrs made which is made harder as I have a child by this person! Your Teachings really have given me the strength to stand up for myself an show me what I’m not prepared to except any longer! Thank you!
Fascinating and informative, thanks Caroline. Researching the subject at the moment and this was an excellent place to begin.
Spot on! Thank you for doing this. So many have no clue what they are dealing with. I remember when my mind was blown when the mask fell off.
yes they blow the head away when the mask fell, you are true
No contact is very hard with my narcissistic alcoholic ex husband of 30 years. I’m going through the divorce now and I still have to co parent He purposely manipulates me to push my buttons through his lawyer and my kids
It’s such a struggle every day. But I’d rather live this way in my authentic true to myself life than another day with someone that made me hate myself
Thank you for this. I ended a toxic 6 year relationship with my narcissistic girlfriend last night. She's been ringing, texting and leaving WhatsApp messages today, but I've ignored everything. It's so hard though, because she said her mum's in hospital and she really needs my support. I feel like such a bad person, but I know she's just using the situation to manipulate me. I really hope I can stay strong. Thanks so much for all the wonderful advice.
You find much the same when you start installing boundaries with these people- I have repeated a very similar scenario after doing loads of inner work! My alarm bells have been ringing- first boundary was installed and I was faced with silent treatment (he disappeared for 3 days and I was really worried) then a big non negotiable had to come into place- well that just did it! It’s like they don’t know how to handle it- like they are the victim and they hate you but don’t know how to let you go and you can’t let go either as you have the tools and the intention to emotionally work through things - love is action right? But when you ask for action it just doesn’t happen! It’s so cowardly! Luckily I was only 6 months in- but what it has highlighted is that it’s so easy to slip back into old patterns- 🙏🏻 keep going guys! It will get easier - just remember old patterns create the same scenarios-outcomes ❤️
Really good content in this video .. Thank you so much
Absy A you are welcome
The no contact has been very difficult, especially since we are dealing with so many difficult issues. I keep getting messages from him that we need to put our differences aside and start working together. Yet any time that I do break my no contact, he gives me jabs and tries to win the upper hand and get me. Thank you for this video. I would like to join your Facebook group.
Diane Waters, you got a lovely smile
Same!
Listening to this is more valuable than gold .