My husband walked in a Walgreens May 8th, 2024. He told the cashier he wasn't feeling well. He collapsed onto one knee and a retired paramedic and a nurse who was off the clock helped him to the floor. The nurse said she couldn't find a pulse. He walked out of our home at 11:20 am only to never come back home to me. We missed our daughter's college graduation 2 day later. We missed telling each other how much we love each other. We missed getting to do things together during retirement. He was 57 years old, no Will. He left me with a son and a daughter. His parents are devastated, and they are in their 80s. We were supposed to be helping take care of them. I am still reeling. I miss him so much and I feel sick to my stomach. We were married almost 31 years. I love him and miss him so much. Everyone has been so wonderful. I feel so empty.
I’m so sorry this happened! It’s so unfair for you, the kids and parents. Let the Grief Inspired community help you. There are other people here who understand. We can walk this journey with you.
My wife died of a sudden heart attack on 2nd May, at the age of 49, two months before the 50th celebrations we had planned. My 20-yr-old daughter and I found her body after four hours - we'd been to get the final diagnosis of my kid's autism/adhd after a five-year wait... I don't think either of us will ever recover from the shock, her contorted state (and more horrific aspects). I'm having bereavement counseling, and trying to make sense of what my future holds without the woman I'd been with for 30 years. Every day can seem meaningless, but I'm hanging on.... trying to make sense of where I go from here. Good luck lass. We need it. x
2 years ago, I found my husband of 38 years. Cardiac arrest, I believe. Totally unexpected. We got through the dam pandemic only to have him die at 59. I feel cheated for him and me. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact he’s never, ever coming back. People are crappy. I’ve been alone. Death changes people and you see their true colors. I just want him back!
Im sorry 😢 i kno exactly how u feel! The ppl i thought would really b there for me, weren't there and it made me very angry for along time.. ill be praying for u my friend!
You are right about the colors. And who's there and not there for you. I've learned that a 25yrs friendship does NOT matter. People are self absorbed leaving no room to care for the brokenhearted 😢 My sister hasn't talked to me since the beginning on Nov, 2022 bc of the Will. My mom passed in Sept, 2022. I never thought that money 💰 would come in between us bc we're "Christians" guess what, it doesn't matter. She has shut me out of her life. There is more to the story but this isn't the place for it. Let's go back to colors. 👍
This is called life your allowed to feel how you want. And also be smart and strong for your kids and him. That’s why he loved you cause you prob were an amazing mother.
Oh Natasha! How devastating you must be. Inhale deeply, exhale fully. Put your right arm on your left shoulder. Put your left arm on your right elbow. Squeeze. Check out my new to grief videos and email me when you want to talk.
This last Friday, Jan 5, 2024, my wife of 20 years said she was feeling a little tired and was going to nap a bit. She was in her favorite recliner with our cat Mandu in her lap and our dog Tyson at her feet. I tucked her in with her new blanket that she got for Christmas, got her a glass of water and went into the other room to hang out with our 14 year old autistic son so that she could rest. When I went to take the dog out a couple of hours later I noticed that her lips where white. She was gone. She was 52 years old. She had a long term heart issue, she had a pacemaker/defibrillator since she was 28 but she had been so healthy the last several years. She had been taking yoga classes and was very active with her friends. She was fighting a little cold but that was it. There was no warning.
Tomorrow will be one week and here I sit watching video's, hoping to find some kind of life preserver to get me through another night. I can try to keep busy in the day time with all the paperwork, notifications, texts, emails, housework, cooking, planning, pets, our son, etc but the nights are the times when I'm struggling to breathe. I can't close my eyes without seeing the images of trying to perform cpr on her when she was clearly gone. How can I feel so numb and empty but so full of pain at the same time. I'm empty, I'm angry, I'm broken, I've never been wounded like this before. It feels like I woke up in an alternate reality where nothing will ever be right again. How do I explain that Mama is never coming home to a severely autistic teen? I can't breathe but I have to appear calm, soothing and normal to our son. I'm so lost right now. If I could draw breath I'd scream but there's nobody there to hear me.
Your words are so real and honest. Stay in this place of honesty and let them out when you can. Journal or go to your car and scream or cry. It won’t be this terrible forever, i promise. This is a season of deep pain for you. Focus on love for your wife and son.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty I've been given a strange gift today. I have been so angry at myself for not noticing that she was really sick and I've been angry with her for not telling me or calling an ambulance. I've been slogging through my days wondering if I was a self absorbed a-hole for not knowing that she was dying. What if she had tried to call me for help but I hadn't noticed? Then earlier today I was working on consolidating our electronics so that we didn't lose any pictures or video's of her. Our son is severely autistic and one of his obsessions is filming everything with his iPad. I would frequently complain that it was like living with a narc, you had to check for the camera before going to the bathroom or taking a shower and he really loved to film you when you just woke up and your hair was sticking in a dozen different directions. While backing up his iPad I saw that he had filmed me making him his dinner, getting my wife in her chair, tucking her in with her new blanket, getting her meds, setting up a humidifier, etc. I saw her smiling and thanking me, I could feel the warmth and affection. I saw that there were no obvious red flags, she just looked a little tired but was happy and normal. I saw that I didn't have to hate myself or be angry with her. We have a long way to go but some weight has been lifted from my heart. I can breathe a little. Our son saved me from a lifetime of doubt and self loathing with that video. I'll never complain about him recording me again. I feel like I was given a touch of grace by seeing his video.
My fiance passed away last jan 1o in heaet attack we are in.lonh distance relationship so when i called him in his morni g and he didnt answer his phon i know something happen, so i messaged his brotjer to chek on him,its been 1 momtn now but no single day that i dont cry i want to scream i felt guilt i could have done somethibg to change situation i feel anger why he didnt call ambulance why he didnt go to hospital i felt like evrything has no meaning to me, waking up evryday nothing to look forward, and i miss his laugh his smile his voice and i lose interest in all the things that i lovr to do i develop anxiety i dont wana go out i mighy se somthibg outside that mighy hurt me i remov facebok as it trigers my depression evryday i wake up in pain sadness and lonliness and i felt like life has no meaning and evrything is pointless losing someone u love is the most painful felt like my heart is beimg stab again and again
@@barbieparone2610 I can feel your pain. I'm probably the last person who should be giving anyone advice in this area, all I can do is say what has been helping me. The first thing that helped was my 27 year old son from a prior marriage came to stay with me for a week. That helped with having someone to just be around, and I put him to work on chores that I wasn't functional enough to handle. Second was gathering as much information as I could through reading and video's. I read a lot about losing a spouse and poured my heart out in several video comment sections. The responses from people that have been there helped me not feel so alone. The third thing that helped was finding an online weekly zoom meeting dealing with the grief of losing a spouse. I'm the youngest by at least 15 years but again, it helps to hear the stories of others who are going or have gone through it. For me it was the devastation of being 'alone' in the process that dragged me down the most. I guess I'm saying don't try to go it alone, even if you don't have friends/family close by there are online resources with some amazing people. I was lucky that my son had filmed us within an hour of her passing. It let me release the anger and guilt that I had towards me and my wife. I was able to see that neither of us knew what was going to happen. Both of us would have done something if we had a clue. And I was reminded of her last words to me, 'thank you'.
I lost my beautiful daughter in February 2023 at age 23 from fentanyl poisoning. One night we were at dinner laughing and enjoying our family time and within hours she was gone. What makes it even more painful is she didn’t use drugs and let her guard down by trusting an associate that led her to believe that she was taking Percocet but it was all fentanyl which killed her within minutes. I can’t get my mind off how she was poisoned and died. She was an Angel with so many great things going on in her life. I miss her all day every day. This type of pain is unbearable and hurts so much. I cry out loud and even when I’m silent I’m crying. Please pray for me. Thank you for this video!
My heart breaks for you.❤ Please hang on. For me, it's not one day at a time, but one moment at a time. But don't give up. Im sure she loved you, and she would want you to hold on. Your pain is from the love you have for her. The more we love, the more it hurts. Then I sometimes ask myself, would it have been better to never have loved him (my husband of 46 yrs)so that i would not have to go through this awful pain? The answer is absolutely NO!❤
Jesus said there is going to be a resurrection. John 5:28-28, psalms 37:10-11, 29; Revelation 21:3-4. I lost my precious husband of 17 years unexpectedly on 2/16/23. I'm hanging on each moment. My heart is completely broken and I'll never be the same ago. If God wills, I'll see him again in the resurrection of dead ones back to life on earth. Miss and love you so much Handsome😢
Please, I'm so sorry you lost him. I told my husband I wanted to go first, but it didn't work out that way. He died and now I'm bereaved like you. Please be kind to yourself and take care. God bless.
My father had a massive heart attack at my home Jan 28 2024 and I am traumatized from watching him die. He was my heart and I just wanted to take care of him and make sure he was ok. He had been at my home for two weeks and I am so thankful for those two weeks.
Yes, grief and trauma are two separate things, that in your case, go together. It would be hard not to feel some trauma at watching someone die, even in the best of circumstances. Give yourself time and grace to heal. Don’t beat yourself up needlessly. It’s hard enough! ❤️
I have experienced a traumatic sudden death of my family, all I have left is my two baby boys who are 5 and 6 years old. On Saturday, June 25, 2022 at 7:25 pm my 19 year old daughter, my son in law and my husband were on their way home from the store, a Drunk Driver hit my husband's truck head on going 100 to 120 mph. On impact my husband's truck flipped backwards, rolled several times, slid off the road on its side, caught fire and was facing the opposite way they were traveling. My baby boys lost their daddy, sissy and brother in law and they are not to young to not remember this trauma. The sheriffs came and told us at 12:16 am that there was an accident. I am still numb. Nothing can even come close to the pain of loosing a child alone and then loosing my brother in law and husband at the same time the pain is unbearably numbing. I have nobody but my 2 baby boys now. Everyone else has turned away from us and people can be so cruel. I found it's best just to be alone. Thank you for posting this video. ❤
Crystal, my heart breaks for you. It was exactly 2 weeks after your loss that I lost my beloved wife of 21 years to a sudden heart attack, leaving me a single dad to two teen daughters. She was only 47. It’s been devastating and I still cry daily. I can’t imagine losing your spouse and child at the same time. The cross you have been asked to bear is enormous. I don’t know why we have to suffer like this in this world. You find some happiness and then it’s taken from you and your life is shattered. May God watch over you, strengthen you, and send you comfort. The day is coming when we shall look our Creator in the face, and He "shall wipe every tear from our eyes. And there shall be no more death nor suffering nor sadness nor pain nor grief, for the former things have passed away." And we shall be loved for all eternity. We must hang on to that thought! Lord Jesus Christ, only Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Amen.
I lost my mom 09/30_2023. It came as such a shock. I found her. The imagine I will also have it in my head. She was my best friend, my only friend. Prayers are always welcomed. God bless
I'm so sorry this happened and I'm so glad you found me so I can help! Focus on how you remember all the times you spend together rather than that last day. Fill your mind with good, happy memories.
I too lost my sweet Momma who was my very best friend on 09-09-23 suddenly. I'm an only child and we were inseperateable. She was my person, my angel and my rock. She had copd, asthma and empheysemia and she had a breathing episode that threw her into Cardiac arrest and had a heart attack. My daddy isn't healthy. We always thought he'd be the first to pass. Momma took such care of him. They were married 52 years. When the EMS called me at 130 am that night, and told me to get there immediately, that it was my momma, I felt something just hit me in the gut. When I walked up and saw the sheet pulled over her face, my heart stopped for a second. I can't close my eyes to sleep without reliving that vision and the thought of, did she suffer, was she scared? It haunts me. I can't ask my daddy, I don't know if I can handle the answer he might give me. When she passed, I feel like half of my heart and soul left with her and I'm only half a person now. I don't know how to get passed this. I don't know if I will ever be the same again. My faith in God is all that's got us through this so far. I'm trying to accept that God needed her more than we did, but it's so hard. I am left to take care of my daddy now. I'm trying to make momma proud of me. My daughter is an only child as well. She helped me with all of the arrangements and she and I even did mommas makeup and hair for her. We knew how she liked it, and we didn't want her to not look like herself. I pray that these horrible feelings, thoughts and visions of worry will pass. I constantly worry about my family now, and that something will happen to them, or me. I decided to, and will be starting grief counseling on December 11th. I pray that this helps me with this battle. Thanks for your video. Please keep myself, and my family in your Prayers 🙏, so that we can find peace, comfort and understanding during this unbearable time of our lives.
I recently lost my wife after being married for nearly 23 years due to illness. The worst bit was feeling that your on an emotional roller coaster and seeing them in hospital dieing that there nothing that you can do when the drs tell you thay have tried all the options and there's none left .friends and families come to your aid but you still miss your loved ones like mad all you want is to hear there voice once again .but faith is what's keeping going at this moment in time knowing that thay are free from there pain and suffering ❤
I will never forget the phone call from my middle son to say that my older son passed away, he was staying with his younger brother who found him on in the floor dead from a seizure! I kept screaming No,No,No, as i fell on my knees and the phone dropped on the floor beside me! I don’t fit into this planet called Earth, i got thrust into an unfamiliar place with no directions! My life is nothing but a painful existence for the last 2.5 years! My heart cries for every parent that is living the loss of the child! My son died 5 days before his 36 th birthday! 💔💔💔💔😢😢😢
Hi Natalie! I’m so sorry this has happened….my heart hurts for you. Do you feel stuck….if so I’d like to help you find a path forward to bring you comfort.
My brother passed last Tuesday a day before his 30th birthday. We don’t know if it was a stroke or seizure. He was a very health conscious person .. didn’t smoke or drink. I’m still in shock. My condolences for your son. I’m just looking for understanding but sometimes you just have to accept that they have transcended even if you don’t know why or how.
I know how you feel. I found my son after he didn’t answer calls and texts one day. The pain gets worse daily! My oldest son. He was a month before his 47th bday. It doesn’t matter how they die. Only that they are gone. Forever. God is my only help… and a great husband. Much love… ❤💔 October 2021
Ohmygosh 😭 I am so sorry 😞 I feel that comment "I don't fit into this planet called Earth" ... since my mom passed on, life doesn't look or feel the same. I'm not sure how to stay soft hearted when all this life is is one beat down after the next. Lean on your faith, God is walking with you, that's what I've leaned on the majority of my life, so that's what I do. I look forward to being with my mom in glory. I live life doing the next right thing one day at a time. Currently, I'm working on the phase of grief called anger.
@@lynnettemartos6699Thank you,yes if it wasn’t for my faith I don’t know where I’d be! Part of me yearns for my children that are alive and part of me yearns for my dead child! 😢😢
The love of my life, died in a car accident 3 days ago and I can’t stop looking at photos and messages. He was only 39 and we had our whole lives together to live
Hi annie ,im from Tunisia i just lost my husband 2 months ago in a car accident he was just 32 ,we were married last year ,i loved him and still love him but my heart is broken , i wish for us to find peace in our lives cause true love can be very painful after the death of your love one.
The same thing happened to me. My love died in a plane crash in 1979 aged 35. I know it’s a lifetime ago, but I think of him every day and relive memories over and over. People say closure is needed, but he was the best thing that ever happened to me and will live in my heart forever.
Hi Catherine. I cried all through this. Your words are so true. When it is sudden and unexpected, it sends you reeling. And you are so right, everything in your entire world changes. It's like you woke up and are in a completely different world. Nothing is familiar anymore. And you are not so sure that you want to be part of this new world. Thank you so much for your insight.
Thanks for sharing this. I feel exactly how you described it in your vedio. I loss my fiance only two months ago suddenly from a massive heart attack and he was only 40 years old. I felt like I am waking up from a deep dream. I still can't believe this has happened. He will always remain close to my heart ❤️ forever. I now cherish the special moments we share together and just wish I can relive those moments. ❤❤❤
Catherine- You are totally correct in everything you say. I lost the LOVE OF MY life (MY ITALIAN STALLION) we were together for 42 years. He died suddenly while he was out of town. I received a call at 3:00am on the East Coast that my husband was DEAD. I remember screaming and crying uncontrollably. It was the worst day of my life 10/31/22. I hate this world without him. I keep asking why him? He was never sick. He was only 58! He had the widow maker and we never knew it. I am still very sad and depressed. I miss and love Joe so much. I have cried every day and every night for him since 10/31/22. I feel like I am in a NIGHTMARE-and will never wake up from it. I feel for anyone who has lost a spouse or loved one. It is the worst pain I have ever felt.
I'm sorry this was so traumatic for you! How heartbreaking to have this happen so suddenly too. Remember that the intensity of the pain you feel is only temporary and it will lessen in time as you do the work....
I know what you mean about the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Having lost my beloved wife of 21 years to a sudden heart attack, I have to say that I didn’t even know suffering like this was possible. I would have thought suffering at this level would kill a person. The pain and agony are indescribable.
Going through the comments, I find my grief of losing my father at 77 so small compared to most of the people here! Except that its not! Its been almost 2 years I lost my best friend and mentor, but the sadness, the anger, the guilt never goes away. You somehow manage to just hang in, but happiness is still far away! Another sad thing about losing someone so precious is that all the wonderful moments spent when the person was alive also turn into melancholy now. Good memories torment you!
This past Friday, February 2nd 2024, I just received the most horrific news that my middle brother was found unresponsive at a house, paramedics tried to revive him but he pronounced deceased. My mother told me that it was a sudden death and he was only 31. I have never been this shaken up in my entire life, I am dealing with the loss of my father 7 years ago, a pet a year ago, a best friend 2 years ago and now my brother. The sudden passing of a family has torn me down and I wish I could bring him home. Now I just don't know what to say or do. I lost my best friend and my rock. My brother is always my angel but I am only 27 years old going to be living in a world without my brother and I am feeling empty. I just want him back. Why does all the good ones have to go? I wish we knew. Forever remembered
My 29 year-old daughter just recently passed away on April 30th 2023. It was quite unexpected. My world as I once knew it will never be the same I am heartbroken and feel that life is played a huge trick on me my prayers for all parents who have lost their children. It is something no parent should have to go through
3 weeks ago, my dad fell down the stairs. 4am, he had emergency brain surgery. He ended up in a coma and passed last Monday. 3 weeks of pain, I am broken 💔 inside. He was 83, and he was so healthy and strong. I will be following you because I don't know how to come to terms with this. I have my mom. She's all alone. I have to go back to work (I been out 3 weeks), but thank you. My dad was amazing. Everyone loved my dad.
That sounds so sudden and unexpected. Definitely can’t be easy on you. Now is the time to ease back into work slowly, do only what is necessary and spend as much time as you can taking care of yourself.
thank you for this video. The way my mom died suddenly in jul 2022 iam still not able to come out of it completely. She was healthy and had slight chest pain and two days later suddenly died early morning . I saw her two hours before her death and she was all ok walking. Till tday my life has changed tremendously.Thank you for motivating us
Me and my dad always crashed heads. But I loved him so immensely that that didn’t matter. Saturday he got back from work, hugged me and told me he loved me. He danced around and was very joyful. Sunday my brother woke up to find my dad dead in the front porche. He woke me up to those news. I miss you so much dad, and it’s just the second day. I love you eternally dad. I wish I could’ve told you I loved you more, but you know I did and I know you loved me too.
I lost my 33yr old son in a car crash 42days ago... I dont want to survive this. I dont want a life without him. But I wont ever hurt myself. Life is sacred. So I live in nowhereland. I am not with him but I am not where my body is either. But thank you so much for your sincerity and trust in this process.
Hello Catherine lost my son Jayden 5yrs old through tonsillectomy where he succumbed in the procedure room am soo.defeated in life and the pain is unbearable please pray for me
Every day for the last 9 months in have cried since my 30 yo daughter died . Its just hell and it feels like you are just waiting to die and be where they are .
My mother flew to Mexico to visit her extended family members, and she passed away there. She went for vacation and never came back here to the USA, and it has been hard. It was unexpected and traumatic.
Yes…it does soften and the pain lessens as you process your grief….the key is in letting yourself feel your grief and pain. The only way out is through.
my husband died in a motorcycle accident 5 weeks ago…. i am completely devistated… i can not function… i will never be the same… 😢😢I don’t know where time has gone… all i do is cry… I know i am still in shock… There are no comforting words… as hard as people try to ease my grief… this is so terrible 😢😢
I’ve lost my son and now my husband suddenly. It’s been 1 year last week for my husband and I feel like I still have this “widow fog” and that he will be coming home any day.
This is so true. In just 4 days, it will be exactly 1 year since my husband of 22 years passed away VERY suddenly and unexpectedly from sepsis. I had been with him since I was only 18. As the 1-year anniversary of his death approaches, I have been reflecting back on that horrible day. The news of his passing hit me like 20 freight trains all at once and I was in a state of paralyzing shock for several months. It just didn't seem real. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye, tell him I loved him one last time, or say any of the things that I would have wanted to say. He was just gone so quickly. The night before, we had ordered pizza and were talking about the new house that we were in the process of buying. Everything was normal. Then, the very next day, he was suddenly gone forever. My life a year ago compared to my life today is not even recognizable. I did buy the house that we had started the process of buying only days before he passed, bought a new SUV, started a new career, and, for the past almost 4 months, I've been dating an incredible guy, who I have fallen really hard for; however, I still miss my husband terribly. We spent 22 years together. I had been with him my entire adult life and my life with him was the only life I knew. I literally had to pick myself up and rebuild my entire life pretty much from scratch. Never in a million years did I expect to become a widow at only 40 years old.
I’m glad you touched on this subject, it’s been 17 months since my Son Matthew of 37 years was murdered, now awaiting trial for the girl that did it, court continuances every 2 to 3 months, which creates having to revisit the horror of what’s happened to my Son, also the hurt and devastation for his sisters, the court system needs to change
Stay strong…I agree that the court system is difficult and the dragging things out prevents closure which is what you need. Grace and surrender are needed for sure!
Thank you for this video. My healthy 42 year old husband passed away 2 months ago and I'm devastated and heartbroken. The first month I was in complete denial, just now I'm starting to feel like I'm waking up from the nightmare. However at the same time I'm realizing people around me have moved on, their lives continue without a change while me and my children feel as we have been paralyzed. So sad and surreal feeling all around me. Blessings 🙏
Hi Virginia! Thank you for sharing! He is gone far too young and I’m so sorry. Know that your experience is completely normal even though it doesn’t make it easier. Give yourself space to grieve, even if others don’t. It is necessary. Keep sharing what’s going on with your kids to give them permission to grieve too.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty thanks again. I’m hoping that videos like this will bring some peace and comfort. I can’t believe how out lives changed in a split second. Blessings 🙏
On (JAN 31 24) My dad just had a Sudden asthma attack in front of me and i witnessed the whole thing as he turned blue and went down never to awaken again... im 24 and he was 56, i lived as a complete shut in and he loved and took care of me anyways, we did everything together. He was my best friend, my hero and my dad. I feel so unprepared for adult life without him.
I’m so sorry this happened. You may feel unprepared but you can do it! It will be hard but give yourself grace and just do the best that you can. Live for him!
This literally just happened to me, I lost my mother in the exact way you described. I’m feeling so LOST and don’t even know how to put the event into words! It is the worst time of my life… thank you for doing this video
I've lost my mom, my treasure, 31 aug.. it was sudden, bc of an accident, after a brief stay in hospital.. I can't express my devastation enough. It's so hard. Sending a big hug..
My sister lost the love of her life unexpectedly 5/20/24. The hardest thing for me has been to see, hear and feel her pain and not being able to take it away. I loved my brother-in-law and still do. He left three wonderful young men and a beautiful, funny and heartfelt memories behind. He is dearly missed and I pray that my sister is able to feel joy I her life again after almost 30 years of experiencing true and indescribable love. RIP C.Orta 🙏🏽
I think your sister is so blessed to have a sister who cares so much. Having you on her side will help for sure. Making yourself available to be with her, to witness her grief, so she doesn’t have to do it all alone will make a huge difference. Remind her often that she can do this, and that she is not alone. Please let me know how I can help you both
Yes. Try to focus on finding other people who understand rather than how many that don't. It will make it less painful. One day at a time . You CAN do this!
I lost my husband 7/19/23 in a sudden and tragic car accident. He kissed and hugged me that morning. Told me he loved me and would see me in a few hrs. 25 min later he was gone, just like that. A man crossed the centerline. My husband ran off the road to avoid running over him. In the process he struck a tree and died of blunt force trauma to his chest. I am having a very difficult time dealing with his death. Almost 25 years together, now he’s forever gone. All I do is cry.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty I would like that very much. People have quit asking how I am and checking on me. I understand that they have their own lives. I am so lonesome. I cannot quit sobbing. I feel like I might die of a broken heart. It is the absolute worst feeling.
My 72 year old grandma passed away yesterday. November 14th, 2023. Her last words to me were "I love you, son! Stay safe!" as I said "I love you too! I'll see you when I get back!" and went to school. It turns out that she passed away just an hour after I arrived at class. She was more of a mom to me than anyone else was. She raised me ever since I was a baby. She'll always be in my heart. I'll never forget her. Rest in peace, Ma
This is so beautiful and what a blessing to have shared such beautiful words so close to the end! It's going to be a sad ride for you but you can do it one day at a time. Go and live everyday to make her proud!
I lost my only child my beautiful 20 year old son-car accident 8 weeks ago. I am broken I am shattered I do Not want to be here-the pain/ heartache is beyond words unbearable. I want to be with my boy.
Hi Yesmin. Thanks so much for sharing here. My heart hurts for you. 8 weeks is so recent. I’m happy to talk if you’d like. It’s not fair to lose someone so young. It feels like the weight is too heavy to carry but you can carry it with the help of others. What was his name? I’d love to hear about him!
I too lost my only child when he was 19 in 2020 on a motorcycle. I literally felt the earth shift when the police came to tell me. My heart, my soul, my everything was gone. I went into shock. Honestly I’m still there. In as bad of shape as I’m in, it’s not that daily, minute by minute horror. There have been days I’ve woken up and it takes me a minute only a minute to realize it’s all true. I cherish those minutes because I know they are possible. I am a shell of who I was. Once outgoing, multi-tasking entrepreneur, I literally have sat in a chair since that day. It’s taken it’s toll. If you’re not seeing a therapist, I would encourage you too. Friends and family get worn out what to say to us. I’ve said before, I used to time the trains by my house but knowing what it would do to the conductor, it never happened. Our spirits are bloodied. The pain is real, raw and primal. I feel like the universe has played a dirty trick on him ….and me. I sit sometimes and look at my C-section scar and I say out loud “what happened….you were right here!”I drink too much wine now and smoke too many cigarettes…..I don’t care. It’s been an awful painful journey but if I say one thing, you will have those moments, though fleeting, that you can breath and your world was the way it was.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty I still have Not looked at his photos nor say his name-it is to painful to do so. I still can Not believe it happened. Car accident In Sydney-Princess highway 6/1/23 Friday. 💔🕊
@@SpanishAngels2020I am sorry for your loss 😔 yes the pain is so raw and unbearable..I am still trying to make sense of it..life just Not feel real to me anymore. I did see a therapist-it did Not help..nothing can help this type of heartache..our brains are Not designed for this pain..dealt an unbearable blow 💔 forever broken.
Thank you Catherine❤. I lost my oldest child suddenly in a car accident on July 27,2023. I so appreciate you reminding me it will be ok, it will get better to deal with my new life.
Yes Indeed. After the loss of my daughter my life change at an instant i dont know what to do as a mother it is very painful that your happiness, strength,hope, and your half of yout heart and life is indeed gone😭 how can i move forward of my life or to live in this world when the one who give your life colorful and hope is already gone😢
Reading all the comments i realised death is something so normal that happens in life...i just experienced my first loss of my beloved boyfriend who died in an accident when he was on the way to meet me...its the what if things that hurts and haunts the most...like what if he didnt come that day.. What if we didnt dated What if i went instead of him But nothing will change the past and all i can do is cherish those happy memories we had in those 5 years😭.. I miss you dear and i love you ❤
Hi Catherine I lost my 19 year old son in an accident .He fell down from 6th storey building while chatting with his friends at his hostel on 2nd feb 2023.It’s going to be six month but the pain is unbearable.He was my Angel 😇 . Thank you for your video.🙏Please pray for my child 👦🏻 Many more to share but I have no strength to type .
Thank you 🙏🏿 I smile through my tears my Dad left me with so many great memories ❤ I celebrated my birthday on the 4th of September and woke up on the Friday the 6th to a call my little brother found our father passed away 😭 it hurts my heart writing this. He wasn't sick. I feel robbed of my time with him even though he was 84. Every day is a new day! Soon we'll fly to Jamaica to lay him to rest. I'm grateful for these videos thank you ❤
That’s exactly true a punch in the stomach, punch in the face all at once. I am on my journey of healing after losing my fiancé on vacation. We were both in the situation and some how I survived. My life has flipped upside down since and each day I am still struggling to want to be here . The only thing that’s keeping me from doing that is the pain that I know my family will feel . I don’t want them to feel this feeling that I live with now but it’s truly hard . Thank you Catherine for covering this ❤
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can relate, as even 21 months into it, and I still feel that way. When it happened, I didn't think I could survive, but that many months later and here I am. It will get better over time. But I still have my moments. They are just spaced further apart. You couldn't be in a better place to find help, then here.
I’m here if you need to talk! Send me an email @griefinspired@gmail.com. As hard as this is….you are still here and you have to believe there is a good reason for it. Let’s try and find it….
@@JayP-kd5rc Thank you so much and I am sorry for your loss too . I am so grateful I found Catherine’s page . Every support helps . I feel alone I’m my grief , but coming to this page gives me a sense of comfort.
My daughter took her life. I know without my faith in God and his mercy I don’t think I would make it, but thank God I am doing better each and every day.
I just lost my 24 year old youngest son on the 1st hour and 20 minutes of 2024. Barely 18 days ago. I remain in disbelief, in shock. There are no words for the pain I currently experience. No one is prepared for this. I don’t know how to move on. Please pray for me and my family. My son’s body remains in the coroner’s office pending investigation. My son was shot in the head. Yes, it’s so tragic. We still have a long painful process to go through. So many more heart piercing subjects to cover, casket, burial or cremation, body viewing, how do we remember or give honor to my son. So many more. How do I move on? Yes, I must offer this pain to God. I must accept.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this! it is tragic. Be kind to yourself now and let others help with the planning. Right now you just have to survive but i promise it won’t be like this forever. i am here to help.
I’m stuck in the past, stuck in the mud. I can’t move forward. Because she past away from covid, I still live in my bedroom. I’ve tried to connect to god to try and heal and fill that void by my relationship is conflicted with god. I can’t forgive because I prayed and offered to sacrifice myself for hers. I’ll never get the closure I need because I was robbed of my last rights. I’ve been in survival mode since 12/18/21. I’ll never be happy anymore and I’ll never be whole as a part of me died when she did. Counseling didn’t help. I’m just counting my days till it’s my time to go. I really don’t care if I don’t see her anymore because I don’t see her in my dreams; she’s never visit me in any way. I’ll probably end up stuck in purgatory, wondering the earth before I ever find my door or come back in a different lifetime. She’s gone and that’s it. 💔🥀
@michaelrodriguez, You are not alone, I lost my best friend and Soulmate Beth on August 31st, 2021 from Covid and the hospital protocols. I am still struggling over her death and what the hospital did to her. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression ever since
My prayers to you all, and may God bless you all. 🙏 ❤ I lost my husband in Nov 2019, and I still struggle. It was completely unexpected. It was during the night heart related. We couldn't save him. He was just one month past his 47 birthday. And we were 2 months shy of our 27 wedding anniversary. I miss him every day. This video came up in my queue to watch. Obviously, God wanted me to see it. And today just happens to be his birthday, so happy birthday, babe. I will always love you.
@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty Thank you. His name was Scott, and he was an amazing husband and father. He loved the outdoors, an avid hunter and fisherman.
I lost my sweet husband last month. It was so sudden that I didn’t get to say I love you. Today is his birthday that I won’t be able to celebrate with him. My heart is so broken I miss him so much.
Do you think he knew how much you loved him. Celebrate for you, who he was and how much he meant to you. Focus on what he brought to you during your time together
After 10yrs and 1week we were supposed to be married in two days and I took him to work and two hours later they were calling saying I needed to get to the hospital , he was gone... That was over two years ago and I still cry every day....I think my soul broke.....
I came across your channel feeling in a state of shock because of my husband passing away 11 days ago (we were together nearly 40 years). I'm brand new in this grieving journey. Have been sitting here wondering how am I going to get through the next days and months? But I will survive even if everyone else has gone back to normal. My husband had been ill with heart/lung disease but with the new meds he improved a lot, even the doctors were shocked at his sudden death. So thank you for a life-line. Feeling sad from New Zealand.
Dear Jennifer, Grief is something terrible. I do understand what you are going thru, or have gone thru. Only prayers and the Lord have helped me out of my grief and depression years ago. One feels so terribly lost and hopeless. But the Lord carries us thru the dark and hard times. He is the Light and helps us out the this darkness. Just trust in the Lord. May the Lord bless you and strengthen you. 🙏
I found my partner of nine years March 6th and still can't believe it. It's like my heart has been ripped from my chest. Now on top of that I am being laid off from my job and all I want to do is be comforted by my love and she is no longer here. My heart goes out too everyone that has lost someone 💔 I feel utterly alone and helpless while trying to go on, but I feel like giving up. Thank you so much for this video.
May 21, 2022, i got home from work, and my husband woke up. He began coughing and puking. Inly 10 minutes later, i watched him die (while on the phone with 911). He was 53 years old. It took well over a year for the shock to wear off. This past July i finally hit the stage where i can focus and figure out what to do with my life. My daughter stepped in and took care of the funeral and i am so grateful for her. Good friends stepped in and kept me going. They encouraged me to wake up e ery day and live. Otherwise, i just want to be with my husband.
@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty Thank you. Life is exhausting without him. I struggle with no energy or strength every day. Besides losing my husband there was just trauma after trauma the first 8 months so there is a lot I am recovering from. I just take each day as it comes. I try not to plan or stress over anything. I try to be kind to myself.
I'm happy to speak with you if you'd like about my course that starts on Monday. It would give you an opportunity to share what's going on and be in a space with other people who are also grieving. You will also learned a lot about your own grief and how to move through it.
Nearly 22 months ago I had the phone call that shattered me, my beloved partner passed away suddenly. I'm no stranger to grief whether humans or pets, but this is on another level, the pain is horrendous. I've been through a lot in the past but this has broken me. There will never be anyone else, he was my first, last and everything in-between, we doted on each other and I remain devoted forever. I'm like Mount Everest that's lost half its land mass, I live for me as he'd want me to, but I do more adrenaline stuff for him too so I'm honouring him. Fortunately I'm Clairvoyant, so I know he's around, how people cope without that is beyond me. Thank you 🇬🇧💔🕯️🙏
I don’t like to use the word broken because you don’t need to be fixed, you need to grieve. You sound devastated which makes sense but give yourself time to grieve and decide what’s next. The world might just surprise you !
I lost my Teresa over three years ago and the things that followed has completely destroyed my positive view of the world. I try to keep a positive and strong appearance on the outside mostly for my three children and I want them to keep a good attitude and hope for the future and I promised my wife to keep our girls safe and to keep us together as a family. And so far I have gone through some impossible situations like losing our home and having a family member try to have the girls taken away and stealing money from me . I keep pushing through every day and some days it's almost to much to get through the day and over the last few months I have not been in the best health and I worry about what if I can't keep going but all I can do is keep trying until I drop and some times i cant finish the day
Do only the things you have to right now and focus the rest on you and your health. Your daughter need you and you have to be okay mentally and physically. Pushing through doesn’t always work.
Thank you!!!!! My husband passed away suddenly last June and I've been experiencing tremendous shock, numbness, grief, etc. I've even gone to grief support groups and people just don't seem to get it, many even put pressure on me for still feeling like this or why I'm still in so much grief. I'm just trying to get through but I don't have support. Unfortunately, it's been the opposite. I thank God for my children!
I’m so sorry this happened today! The closer they are to you, the more you will grieve. The memories will live on for you, I promise! Write them down to capture them if that will help! The love you have for them will live on as well!
Your voice is so soft and words are so so soothing. I lost my dearest son 19 to accident 5 yrs ago. What u say so true. We should allow ourselves to be helped and healed. Always grateful to the countless people who cradled me thro the grief. I still find deep connection with my own small support group which i gathered.
December 10,2022 the love of my life passed suddenly in front of me. His last breath was my frantic breath giving him cpr. We were alone in a foreign country just starting our retirement dreams. He had a full physical a month prior and was a extremely healthy and fit 60 year old. It’s been almost 9 months and the fog and utter shock is lifting and all I can think of is ‘what now’. That is the worst part. We had our life mapped out and in an instant it was blown to bits
I'm so sorry this happened! What now? It's time for your healing to begin and to figure out a totally uncertain and unexpected future. I'd be honored to help in my course!
Thank you for making this video. My wife died suddenly of sepsis from just a small infection that she had. The hospital tried to say it was COVID but the last night that I saw her, She said honey, I can't remember where we live. I was working overnight so I didn't think anything of it and was like I see you in the morning.I gotta go. She died the next day when I went to go see her with the teddy bear I brought her. Her family despised me because I'm a devout Christian. I still don't have her ashes, but that's not the worst, she had amputations due to Diabetes. I was her wound care provider, the bandage changer so I took care of her for a LONG time. I don't know how to care for ME. I'm just being 100% transparent. I'm not doing good, I'm embarrassed to say it, but its true. Thank you from the depths of my heart for this video. The tears are making the words blurry.
The day my 31 year old Son died I felt a part of me die. Three years later my world is still upside down and my heart cries everyday. No one should have to bury a child. Its awful
I’m so sorry,3 years ago I lost my 35 year old suddenly! Part of you is missing and if anything it gets worse,the longing for your child is so deep and painful. I’m so sorry I truly am! Sending hugs. 🫂❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼
My ten years old daughter died in a car accident. It's been decades since she died and I grieve for her everyday. The pain of burying your child is horrific.
My husband was very attentive to changes in his health. On 15 March 2023, I accompanied him to the hospital, hoping to do tests that would have explained the pain in his back. This discomfort started around November 2022. Tests were done as he was going through so much pain. Finally, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He passed away on 16 April 2023. It was so unexpected to us, his 2 daughters, and everyone. He was only 62 yrs old and still working. It has has been a difficult silent journey. There has been too many distractions distractions that I feel I've put my grief on hold. I'm hoping I'll get to a point where I'll focus on myself and my daughters' journeys. I miss him so much.
Hi Catherine, thank you so much for making this video. It has been 4 months since I lost my fiancée and honestly it gets harder as time passes because it makes it more permanent. I do not know how to do this.
Awe. I’m so sorry. You will be okay. Will you miss your grandmother for a very long time. Yup! Let’s talk about getting you the support you need. When you are ready, send me an e-mail at griefInspired@gmail.com
A smart old man once said.... "It's better to love and lost than not to have loved at all." I'm not believing that just yet, but one day, I know I will. Thank you.
My parents passed away in 2021 nine days apart from covid. I’m still in shock and the grief has killed me from the inside out. I can’t get used my new life without my parents. I couldn’t be with them when they were Ill and dying. I was very dependent on Mum . I lived with my parents for 39 years.
😢 wow!..im so sorry. That has to be hard. Prayers 🙏🏼. its been 3 months now since my mom passed suddenly. I was kind of in shock and still in disbelief but now it's setting in and really starting to hit me and I'm struggling to cope that I will no longer see her in this life.
Losing your parents at the same time must be so devastating. Take the time you need and then use their wisdom as inspiration to be on your own. I'm sure they would be proud of you.
Wow I thank you SOO much.. I never thought I would have to look up videos like this… but I’m proud of myself for searching inside of acting upon thoughts of self harm… you are very comforting
You are in my prayers. My best friend went through almost the same thing. And my husband died unexpectedly 3/23. They believe it was a heart attack while driving.
I t, s been 8 yrs since my husband died suddenly in front of me at work. Absolutly surreal event!!!! I did hold on. I found help immediately and I,m still holding on. Everything that happens after that moment will shock you. Life changes dramatically. You have only 2 choices: stay in bed & cry or bravely face the new reality and survive. As I look around my life today, my husband of 42 years would be surprised and very proud of me. And honestly, I am still sad he,s not here enjoying this new life I have created.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNultySo odd this showed up today - tomorrow is our anniversary. I,m good, my life is pretty wonderful - it just takes holding on, being persistent and brave enough to face the fears. thank you for posting this for all of us and replying!
My best friend suddenly passed away on the 4th of July this year due to his alcoholism. He was only 54. He had gotten sober in August of 2017 after almost dying, his heart had given out, but he survived when he wasn't even supposed to. This past august would've been his 6th year sobriety. It turns out he had be secretly drinking again for the past 2 years and none of us even knew. I had just seen him exactly 2 weeks before he was hospitalized for cardiac problems. We had gone out to lunch, everything was normal. We talked every single day. Everything seemed fine. Then 5 days after being admitted (also put into a coma) he passed. I feel so lucky to have been allowed in the room with his family while they turned off the 6 different machines that were keeping him alive. Ever since he's passed though, I have felt so lost. He was my brother, he was best friend, he was my life. I don't know what to do without him. I wish I could've seen that he was drinking again. I don't know how I didn't notice it. But he's gone now, and I don't know what to do. I have days where I am totally fine, and then days like today where everything hurts and I can't breathe.
Oh this sounds so hard. This is why alcoholism is labeled a disease, just like any other illness that leads to death. Now is the time to write down all of the wonderful memories you have of him. Honor him and make your life count to show how much you love him!!!! Maybe one day you can do something to help others who struggle with alcoholism or it's repercussions????
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty I appreciate your kind words. It’s been really rough. I lost my uncle suddenly as well only 4 months prior to Miki’s passing, he was 56. It’s just been a rollercoaster of a year to say the least 😔
My mom suddenly passed away 😢 two weeks ago I live in IL. and she lived in AZ. I couldn't afford to pay my last respects. In this past year my best friend suddenly died and on New Years Day my ex-husband died suddenly. I feel so overwhelmed. I'm still in shock. Life is just surreal to me.
I bet. That is quite a bit of loss and it must feel surreal if you weren't able to be there or participate in funerals etc. I would suggest having a ceremony if you own to help allow what has happened to sink in.
I lost my daughter about a year ago she was an angel she would buy presents for all the kids and if there was a bug or a fly around the house she would tell me to take it outside
Hey my common law husband was murdered (shot) infront me and over 2 kids. On June 14 2022. He died without saying I love you or goodbye. Heartbroken until it's hard to find words that describe my feelings.
I stumbled on your channel looking for a way to cope. I lost my fiancé 3 days ago to cardiac arrest. He suddenly collapsed, I saw him at the hospital, being revived but he was gone. I'm lost and I feel my life won't move any further without him. I feel like I lost my whole world...
Oh wow, I'm sorry. Feeling like you've lost your whole sounds right, however. You are likely still in shock and will be for a while. You are now in survival mode, one day, one hour at a time.
5:38 I experienced the sudden death of my beloved brother. One day he was alive, next morning he was death. His health wasn't bad, he was successful and loving, fun. I can't tell you how I fell yet. A month later and still I am going from many stages, worse yet I seek counseling and the counselor wasn't the right one, I got more lost. I am listening listening to videos, feeling my feelings and will see. I love you and miss you brother😢😢😢
I went to work my daughter called me telling my wife her mother wouldn't wake up. I was 2 hrs away i got back in town, the paramedics had taken her to the hospital. She wasn't conscious.this is the hard part we didnt have the chance to have any communication before we took her off the life support. It's something I'll never forget till I die. To see someone take their last breath. She had a brain aneurysm that let loose.
Im so sorry. I have experienced watching my infant take his last breath and last year, my dad. It is a heavy burden to bare but Im glad I was there for them. I try to see being there as a blessing because not being there in both scenarios, for me, was not an option. You can do this. One day at a time. It is trauma on top of grief that you may want to work through to heal.
i’ll never forget the day i got the call about my mom and her brain hemorrhage. i just fell out… collapsed on the phone with the doctor. my boyfriend at the time had to pick me up off the ground. i’m the only child so it was so overwhelming for me, on top of dealing with the loss of my best friend. it’s been 4 years and i don’t think i’ll ever get over it.
My best friend, my soulmate, my forever and always was murdered dec 30 2021 and then in the end the person/persons responsible werent even held accountable and there are so many questions. He was only 32 years old. I just can not figure out how to live my life anymore. It is effecting every part of my life.
Here’s another video to help! ua-cam.com/video/ty5EJQK7xTQ/v-deo.htmlsi=yTxwZB2O0b35MDzl
Your life really does change in an instant 💔
@@notyouraverageharleyquinnstan
And forever .
My husband walked in a Walgreens May 8th, 2024. He told the cashier he wasn't feeling well. He collapsed onto one knee and a retired paramedic and a nurse who was off the clock helped him to the floor. The nurse said she couldn't find a pulse. He walked out of our home at 11:20 am only to never come back home to me. We missed our daughter's college graduation 2 day later. We missed telling each other how much we love each other. We missed getting to do things together during retirement. He was 57 years old, no Will. He left me with a son and a daughter. His parents are devastated, and they are in their 80s. We were supposed to be helping take care of them. I am still reeling. I miss him so much and I feel sick to my stomach. We were married almost 31 years. I love him and miss him so much. Everyone has been so wonderful. I feel so empty.
I’m so sorry this happened! It’s so unfair for you, the kids and parents. Let the Grief Inspired community help you. There are other people here who understand. We can walk this journey with you.
. I am so sorry for your tremendous loss.
My wife died of a sudden heart attack on 2nd May, at the age of 49, two months before the 50th celebrations we had planned. My 20-yr-old daughter and I found her body after four hours - we'd been to get the final diagnosis of my kid's autism/adhd after a five-year wait... I don't think either of us will ever recover from the shock, her contorted state (and more horrific aspects). I'm having bereavement counseling, and trying to make sense of what my future holds without the woman I'd been with for 30 years. Every day can seem meaningless, but I'm hanging on.... trying to make sense of where I go from here. Good luck lass. We need it. x
2 years ago, I found my husband of 38 years. Cardiac arrest, I believe. Totally unexpected. We got through the dam pandemic only to have him die at 59. I feel cheated for him and me. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact he’s never, ever coming back. People are crappy. I’ve been alone. Death changes people and you see their true colors. I just want him back!
Im sorry 😢 i kno exactly how u feel! The ppl i thought would really b there for me, weren't there and it made me very angry for along time.. ill be praying for u my friend!
I feel your pain, I lost everything, when I lost my hero....
I feel with you, Jade.
You are right about the colors. And who's there and not there for you. I've learned that a 25yrs friendship does NOT matter. People are self absorbed leaving no room to care for the brokenhearted 😢
My sister hasn't talked to me since the beginning on Nov, 2022 bc of the Will. My mom passed in Sept, 2022. I never thought that money 💰 would come in between us bc we're "Christians" guess what, it doesn't matter. She has shut me out of her life. There is more to the story but this isn't the place for it. Let's go back to colors. 👍
This is called life your allowed to feel how you want. And also be smart and strong for your kids and him. That’s why he loved you cause you prob were an amazing mother.
Can someone please say a prayer for me my daughter passed away on 15 Dec 2022 suddenly I'm so heartbroken
Oh Natasha! How devastating you must be. Inhale deeply, exhale fully. Put your right arm on your left shoulder. Put your left arm on your right elbow. Squeeze.
Check out my new to grief videos and email me when you want to talk.
I’m praying for you Natasha. Because He lives, you can face tomorrow 🙏
My email is griefinspired@gmail.com. My next course starts Jan 21st if you want to discuss.
I am so very sorry Natasha.
I will pray for you.
A strong prayer with all my heart.
My husband passed August 2022. I know your pain.
This last Friday, Jan 5, 2024, my wife of 20 years said she was feeling a little tired and was going to nap a bit. She was in her favorite recliner with our cat Mandu in her lap and our dog Tyson at her feet. I tucked her in with her new blanket that she got for Christmas, got her a glass of water and went into the other room to hang out with our 14 year old autistic son so that she could rest. When I went to take the dog out a couple of hours later I noticed that her lips where white. She was gone. She was 52 years old. She had a long term heart issue, she had a pacemaker/defibrillator since she was 28 but she had been so healthy the last several years. She had been taking yoga classes and was very active with her friends. She was fighting a little cold but that was it. There was no warning.
Tomorrow will be one week and here I sit watching video's, hoping to find some kind of life preserver to get me through another night. I can try to keep busy in the day time with all the paperwork, notifications, texts, emails, housework, cooking, planning, pets, our son, etc but the nights are the times when I'm struggling to breathe. I can't close my eyes without seeing the images of trying to perform cpr on her when she was clearly gone.
How can I feel so numb and empty but so full of pain at the same time. I'm empty, I'm angry, I'm broken, I've never been wounded like this before. It feels like I woke up in an alternate reality where nothing will ever be right again. How do I explain that Mama is never coming home to a severely autistic teen? I can't breathe but I have to appear calm, soothing and normal to our son. I'm so lost right now. If I could draw breath I'd scream but there's nobody there to hear me.
Your words are so real and honest. Stay in this place of honesty and let them out when you can. Journal or go to your car and scream or cry. It won’t be this terrible forever, i promise. This is a season of deep pain for you. Focus on love for your wife and son.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty I've been given a strange gift today. I have been so angry at myself for not noticing that she was really sick and I've been angry with her for not telling me or calling an ambulance. I've been slogging through my days wondering if I was a self absorbed a-hole for not knowing that she was dying. What if she had tried to call me for help but I hadn't noticed? Then earlier today I was working on consolidating our electronics so that we didn't lose any pictures or video's of her. Our son is severely autistic and one of his obsessions is filming everything with his iPad. I would frequently complain that it was like living with a narc, you had to check for the camera before going to the bathroom or taking a shower and he really loved to film you when you just woke up and your hair was sticking in a dozen different directions.
While backing up his iPad I saw that he had filmed me making him his dinner, getting my wife in her chair, tucking her in with her new blanket, getting her meds, setting up a humidifier, etc. I saw her smiling and thanking me, I could feel the warmth and affection. I saw that there were no obvious red flags, she just looked a little tired but was happy and normal. I saw that I didn't have to hate myself or be angry with her.
We have a long way to go but some weight has been lifted from my heart. I can breathe a little. Our son saved me from a lifetime of doubt and self loathing with that video. I'll never complain about him recording me again. I feel like I was given a touch of grace by seeing his video.
My heart goes out to you and your son 😔
My fiance passed away last jan 1o in heaet attack we are in.lonh distance relationship so when i called him in his morni g and he didnt answer his phon i know something happen, so i messaged his brotjer to chek on him,its been 1 momtn now but no single day that i dont cry i want to scream i felt guilt i could have done somethibg to change situation i feel anger why he didnt call ambulance why he didnt go to hospital i felt like evrything has no meaning to me, waking up evryday nothing to look forward, and i miss his laugh his smile his voice and i lose interest in all the things that i lovr to do i develop anxiety i dont wana go out i mighy se somthibg outside that mighy hurt me i remov facebok as it trigers my depression evryday i wake up in pain sadness and lonliness and i felt like life has no meaning and evrything is pointless losing someone u love is the most painful felt like my heart is beimg stab again and again
@@barbieparone2610 I can feel your pain. I'm probably the last person who should be giving anyone advice in this area, all I can do is say what has been helping me. The first thing that helped was my 27 year old son from a prior marriage came to stay with me for a week. That helped with having someone to just be around, and I put him to work on chores that I wasn't functional enough to handle. Second was gathering as much information as I could through reading and video's. I read a lot about losing a spouse and poured my heart out in several video comment sections. The responses from people that have been there helped me not feel so alone. The third thing that helped was finding an online weekly zoom meeting dealing with the grief of losing a spouse. I'm the youngest by at least 15 years but again, it helps to hear the stories of others who are going or have gone through it. For me it was the devastation of being 'alone' in the process that dragged me down the most. I guess I'm saying don't try to go it alone, even if you don't have friends/family close by there are online resources with some amazing people.
I was lucky that my son had filmed us within an hour of her passing. It let me release the anger and guilt that I had towards me and my wife. I was able to see that neither of us knew what was going to happen. Both of us would have done something if we had a clue. And I was reminded of her last words to me, 'thank you'.
I lost my beautiful daughter in
February 2023 at age 23 from fentanyl poisoning. One night we were at dinner laughing and enjoying our family time and within hours she was gone. What makes it even more painful is she didn’t use drugs and let her guard down by trusting an associate that led her to believe that she was taking Percocet but it was all fentanyl which killed her within minutes. I can’t get my mind off how she was poisoned and died. She was an Angel with so many great things going on in her life. I miss her all day every day. This type of pain is unbearable and hurts so much. I cry out loud and even when I’m silent I’m crying.
Please pray for me.
Thank you for this video!
That is so heartbreaking. Sending you healing thoughts.
I am sorry for your loss 😔🙏🏻🕊
My heart breaks for you.❤ Please hang on.
For me, it's not one day at a time, but one moment at a time. But don't give up. Im sure she loved you, and she would want you to hold on. Your pain is from the love you have for her. The more we love, the more it hurts. Then I sometimes ask myself, would it have been better to never have loved him (my husband of 46 yrs)so that i would not have to go through this awful pain? The answer is absolutely NO!❤
@@jayneweathers
Thank you for your kind words ❤. Yes, moment by moment. Hang in there as well and I’m so sorry for your loss.
@@Willowgrey31
Thank you so much❤
I ve just lost my husband this week. My heart is smashed into a million pieces. 😢
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I'm going through this now.
Sending your heart so much love❤
May everyone on this thread heal and find peace.
I suddenly lost my husband, the best husband, 5 mos ago. My heart is broken like all of you.
This is super sweet of you!
Jesus said there is going to be a resurrection. John 5:28-28, psalms 37:10-11, 29; Revelation 21:3-4.
I lost my precious husband of 17 years unexpectedly on 2/16/23. I'm hanging on each moment. My heart is completely broken and I'll never be the same ago.
If God wills, I'll see him again in the resurrection of dead ones back to life on earth.
Miss and love you so much Handsome😢
Please, I'm so sorry you lost him. I told my husband I wanted to go first, but it didn't work out that way. He died and now I'm bereaved like you. Please be kind to yourself and take care. God bless.
I have just lost my husband, we have a daughter 7 years four days ago I'm trying to navigate it
My father had a massive heart attack at my home Jan 28 2024 and I am traumatized from watching him die. He was my heart and I just wanted to take care of him and make sure he was ok. He had been at my home for two weeks and I am so thankful for those two weeks.
Yes, grief and trauma are two separate things, that in your case, go together. It would be hard not to feel some trauma at watching someone die, even in the best of circumstances. Give yourself time and grace to heal. Don’t beat yourself up needlessly. It’s hard enough! ❤️
I have experienced a traumatic sudden death of my family, all I have left is my two baby boys who are 5 and 6 years old. On Saturday, June 25, 2022 at 7:25 pm my 19 year old daughter, my son in law and my husband were on their way home from the store, a Drunk Driver hit my husband's truck head on going 100 to 120 mph. On impact my husband's truck flipped backwards, rolled several times, slid off the road on its side, caught fire and was facing the opposite way they were traveling. My baby boys lost their daddy, sissy and brother in law and they are not to young to not remember this trauma. The sheriffs came and told us at 12:16 am that there was an accident. I am still numb. Nothing can even come close to the pain of loosing a child alone and then loosing my brother in law and husband at the same time the pain is unbearably numbing. I have nobody but my 2 baby boys now. Everyone else has turned away from us and people can be so cruel. I found it's best just to be alone. Thank you for posting this video. ❤
Wow that’s a lot to deal with. There are no words. I’ll pray for you.
Crystal, my heart breaks for you. It was exactly 2 weeks after your loss that I lost my beloved wife of 21 years to a sudden heart attack, leaving me a single dad to two teen daughters. She was only 47. It’s been devastating and I still cry daily. I can’t imagine losing your spouse and child at the same time. The cross you have been asked to bear is enormous. I don’t know why we have to suffer like this in this world. You find some happiness and then it’s taken from you and your life is shattered. May God watch over you, strengthen you, and send you comfort. The day is coming when we shall look our Creator in the face, and He "shall wipe every tear from our eyes. And there shall be no more death nor suffering nor sadness nor pain nor grief, for the former things have passed away." And we shall be loved for all eternity. We must hang on to that thought! Lord Jesus Christ, only Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Amen.
I lost my mom 09/30_2023. It came as such a shock. I found her. The imagine I will also have it in my head. She was my best friend, my only friend. Prayers are always welcomed. God bless
I'm so sorry this happened and I'm so glad you found me so I can help! Focus on how you remember all the times you spend together rather than that last day. Fill your mind with good, happy memories.
I pray you find comfort. It is so tough! You'll get through it by God's grace
I too lost my sweet Momma who was my very best friend on 09-09-23 suddenly. I'm an only child and we were inseperateable. She was my person, my angel and my rock.
She had copd, asthma and empheysemia and she had a breathing episode that threw her into Cardiac arrest and had a heart attack.
My daddy isn't healthy. We always thought he'd be the first to pass. Momma took such care of him. They were married 52 years.
When the EMS called me at 130 am that night, and told me to get there immediately, that it was my momma, I felt something just hit me in the gut.
When I walked up and saw the sheet pulled over her face, my heart stopped for a second.
I can't close my eyes to sleep without reliving that vision and the thought of, did she suffer, was she scared? It haunts me. I can't ask my daddy, I don't know if I can handle the answer he might give me.
When she passed, I feel like half of my heart and soul left with her and I'm only half a person now. I don't know how to get passed this. I don't know if I will ever be the same again.
My faith in God is all that's got us through this so far. I'm trying to accept that God needed her more than we did, but it's so hard.
I am left to take care of my daddy now. I'm trying to make momma proud of me.
My daughter is an only child as well. She helped me with all of the arrangements and she and I even did mommas makeup and hair for her. We knew how she liked it, and we didn't want her to not look like herself.
I pray that these horrible feelings, thoughts and visions of worry will pass. I constantly worry about my family now, and that something will happen to them, or me.
I decided to, and will be starting grief counseling on December 11th. I pray that this helps me with this battle.
Thanks for your video. Please keep myself, and my family in your Prayers 🙏, so that we can find peace, comfort and understanding during this unbearable time of our lives.
my heart goes out to you
❤
I recently lost my wife after being married for nearly 23 years due to illness. The worst bit was feeling that your on an emotional roller coaster and seeing them in hospital dieing that there nothing that you can do when the drs tell you thay have tried all the options and there's none left .friends and families come to your aid but you still miss your loved ones like mad all you want is to hear there voice once again .but faith is what's keeping going at this moment in time knowing that thay are free from there pain and suffering ❤
I will never forget the phone call from my middle son to say that my older son passed away, he was staying with his younger brother who found him on in the floor dead from a seizure! I kept screaming No,No,No, as i fell on my knees and the phone dropped on the floor beside me!
I don’t fit into this planet called Earth, i got thrust into an unfamiliar place with no directions! My life is nothing but a painful existence for the last 2.5 years! My heart cries for every parent that is living the loss of the child! My son died 5 days before his 36 th birthday! 💔💔💔💔😢😢😢
Hi Natalie! I’m so sorry this has happened….my heart hurts for you. Do you feel stuck….if so I’d like to help you find a path forward to bring you comfort.
My brother passed last Tuesday a day before his 30th birthday. We don’t know if it was a stroke or seizure. He was a very health conscious person .. didn’t smoke or drink. I’m still in shock. My condolences for your son. I’m just looking for understanding but sometimes you just have to accept that they have transcended even if you don’t know why or how.
I know how you feel. I found my son after he didn’t answer calls and texts one day. The pain gets worse daily! My oldest son. He was a month before his 47th bday. It doesn’t matter how they die. Only that they are gone. Forever. God is my only help… and a great husband. Much love… ❤💔 October 2021
Ohmygosh 😭 I am so sorry 😞
I feel that comment "I don't fit into this planet called Earth" ... since my mom passed on, life doesn't look or feel the same. I'm not sure how to stay soft hearted when all this life is is one beat down after the next. Lean on your faith, God is walking with you, that's what I've leaned on the majority of my life, so that's what I do. I look forward to being with my mom in glory. I live life doing the next right thing one day at a time. Currently, I'm working on the phase of grief called anger.
@@lynnettemartos6699Thank you,yes if it wasn’t for my faith I don’t know where I’d be! Part of me yearns for my children that are alive and part of me yearns for my dead child! 😢😢
The love of my life, died in a car accident 3 days ago and I can’t stop looking at photos and messages. He was only 39 and we had our whole lives together to live
How terrible and how unfair. 39 is so young.
Hi annie ,im from Tunisia i just lost my husband 2 months ago in a car accident he was just 32 ,we were married last year ,i loved him and still love him but my heart is broken , i wish for us to find peace in our lives cause true love can be very painful after the death of your love one.
The same thing happened to me. My love died in a plane crash in 1979 aged 35. I know it’s a lifetime ago, but I think of him every day and relive memories over and over. People say closure is needed, but he was the best thing that ever happened to me and will live in my heart forever.
Hi Catherine. I cried all through this. Your words are so true. When it is sudden and unexpected, it sends you reeling. And you are so right, everything in your entire world changes. It's like you woke up and are in a completely different world. Nothing is familiar anymore. And you are not so sure that you want to be part of this new world. Thank you so much for your insight.
You are always welcome. Love your comments….let me know what else I should cover.
💔💔💔
Thanks for sharing this. I feel exactly how you described it in your vedio. I loss my fiance only two months ago suddenly from a massive heart attack and he was only 40 years old. I felt like I am waking up from a deep dream. I still can't believe this has happened. He will always remain close to my heart ❤️ forever. I now cherish the special moments we share together and just wish I can relive those moments. ❤❤❤
Out here in tears while reading this message 😢💔lost my brother to suicide everything happened so quick
The part about wanting to be in this new world without them.
I’ll never forget the feeling of the sudden death of my toddler daughter
Of course you won’t!
Much love and hugs to you❤
Catherine- You are totally correct in everything you say. I lost the LOVE OF MY life (MY ITALIAN STALLION) we were together for 42 years. He died suddenly while he was out of town. I received a call at 3:00am on the East Coast that my husband was DEAD. I remember screaming and crying uncontrollably. It was the worst day of my life 10/31/22. I hate this world without him. I keep asking why him? He was never sick. He was only 58! He had the widow maker and we never knew it. I am still very sad and depressed. I miss and love Joe so much. I have cried every day and every night for him since 10/31/22. I feel like I am in a NIGHTMARE-and will never wake up from it. I feel for anyone who has lost a spouse or loved one. It is the worst pain I have ever felt.
I'm sorry this was so traumatic for you! How heartbreaking to have this happen so suddenly too. Remember that the intensity of the pain you feel is only temporary and it will lessen in time as you do the work....
I know what you mean about the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Having lost my beloved wife of 21 years to a sudden heart attack, I have to say that I didn’t even know suffering like this was possible. I would have thought suffering at this level would kill a person. The pain and agony are indescribable.
Going through the comments, I find my grief of losing my father at 77 so small compared to most of the people here! Except that its not! Its been almost 2 years I lost my best friend and mentor, but the sadness, the anger, the guilt never goes away. You somehow manage to just hang in, but happiness is still far away! Another sad thing about losing someone so precious is that all the wonderful moments spent when the person was alive also turn into melancholy now. Good memories torment you!
i’d love to help. The good memories should bring you joy after healing
This past Friday, February 2nd 2024, I just received the most horrific news that my middle brother was found unresponsive at a house, paramedics tried to revive him but he pronounced deceased. My mother told me that it was a sudden death and he was only 31. I have never been this shaken up in my entire life, I am dealing with the loss of my father 7 years ago, a pet a year ago, a best friend 2 years ago and now my brother. The sudden passing of a family has torn me down and I wish I could bring him home. Now I just don't know what to say or do. I lost my best friend and my rock. My brother is always my angel but I am only 27 years old going to be living in a world without my brother and I am feeling empty. I just want him back. Why does all the good ones have to go? I wish we knew. Forever remembered
I know what you mean by the good ones. It’s not fair
Much love goes out to you❤
Sending so much love your way today ❤
My 29 year-old daughter just recently passed away on April 30th 2023. It was quite unexpected. My world as I once knew it will never be the same I am heartbroken and feel that life is played a huge trick on me my prayers for all parents who have lost their children. It is something no parent should have to go through
I'm sorry you have to go through it...send me an e-mail at griefinspired@gmail.com. Join my Facebook group so we can support you.
My life changed in an Instant
I get it. I never thought my so. Would actually die even though the doctors said he would. I was broadsided in a big way. I'd love to hear your story.
3 weeks ago, my dad fell down the stairs. 4am, he had emergency brain surgery. He ended up in a coma and passed last Monday. 3 weeks of pain, I am broken 💔 inside. He was 83, and he was so healthy and strong. I will be following you because I don't know how to come to terms with this. I have my mom. She's all alone. I have to go back to work (I been out 3 weeks), but thank you. My dad was amazing. Everyone loved my dad.
That sounds so sudden and unexpected. Definitely can’t be easy on you. Now is the time to ease back into work slowly, do only what is necessary and spend as much time as you can taking care of yourself.
thank you for this video. The way my mom died suddenly in jul 2022 iam still not able to come out of it completely. She was healthy and had slight chest pain and two days later suddenly died early morning . I saw her two hours before her death and she was all ok walking. Till tday my life has changed tremendously.Thank you for motivating us
Me and my dad always crashed heads. But I loved him so immensely that that didn’t matter. Saturday he got back from work, hugged me and told me he loved me. He danced around and was very joyful. Sunday my brother woke up to find my dad dead in the front porche. He woke me up to those news. I miss you so much dad, and it’s just the second day. I love you eternally dad. I wish I could’ve told you I loved you more, but you know I did and I know you loved me too.
Oh wow! How sudden! It sounds like he knew how much you loved him. It will be hard but you can do this!
I lost my 33yr old son in a car crash 42days ago... I dont want to survive this. I dont want a life without him. But I wont ever hurt myself. Life is sacred. So I live in nowhereland. I am not with him but I am not where my body is either. But thank you so much for your sincerity and trust in this process.
Be gentle during this fragile time. Everything you are experiencing is normal and even expected. I'd love to help when you are ready.
Thank you Catharine, good to know you are there
Well put. Ditto
Hello Catherine lost my son Jayden 5yrs old through tonsillectomy where he succumbed in the procedure room am soo.defeated in life and the pain is unbearable please pray for me
Your child will be close to you. Love him in your own special way. You are in our prayers
Every day for the last 9 months in have cried since my 30 yo daughter died .
Its just hell and it feels like you are just waiting to die and be where they are .
I’m so sorry. I dont want that for you. I want you to choose to live FOR her, with her in your heart. She would want that wouldn’t she?
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty
Yes she would .
It feels like i've had my soul ripped out .
Thank you for your reply .
My mother flew to Mexico to visit her extended family members, and she passed away there. She went for vacation and never came back here to the USA, and it has been hard. It was unexpected and traumatic.
I'm so sorry 😔
The best advice I received is that the grief does soften over time. It doesn't feel like it at the time but over time it does. It's so overwhelming!
Yes…it does soften and the pain lessens as you process your grief….the key is in letting yourself feel your grief and pain. The only way out is through.
thank u for this video, im in despair, my husband passed Tuesday
There is hope, so do not despair. The pain is so real….but you can do this. It takes time to process….
my husband died in a motorcycle accident 5 weeks ago…. i am completely devistated… i can not function… i will never be the same… 😢😢I don’t know where time has gone… all i do is cry… I know i am still in shock… There are no comforting words… as hard as people try to ease my grief… this is so terrible 😢😢
I’ve lost my son and now my husband suddenly. It’s been 1 year last week for my husband and I feel like I still have this “widow fog” and that he will be coming home any day.
🙏❤️I understand your pain. Lost my son (Feb) then husband (Dec)
This is so true. In just 4 days, it will be exactly 1 year since my husband of 22 years passed away VERY suddenly and unexpectedly from sepsis. I had been with him since I was only 18. As the 1-year anniversary of his death approaches, I have been reflecting back on that horrible day. The news of his passing hit me like 20 freight trains all at once and I was in a state of paralyzing shock for several months. It just didn't seem real. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye, tell him I loved him one last time, or say any of the things that I would have wanted to say. He was just gone so quickly. The night before, we had ordered pizza and were talking about the new house that we were in the process of buying. Everything was normal. Then, the very next day, he was suddenly gone forever. My life a year ago compared to my life today is not even recognizable. I did buy the house that we had started the process of buying only days before he passed, bought a new SUV, started a new career, and, for the past almost 4 months, I've been dating an incredible guy, who I have fallen really hard for; however, I still miss my husband terribly. We spent 22 years together. I had been with him my entire adult life and my life with him was the only life I knew. I literally had to pick myself up and rebuild my entire life pretty much from scratch. Never in a million years did I expect to become a widow at only 40 years old.
Congratulations on surviving the first year. It's no small feet. What would your husband say to you?
My wife passed from sepsis today, thank you for sharing
I’m glad you touched on this subject, it’s been 17 months since my Son Matthew of 37 years was murdered, now awaiting trial for the girl that did it, court continuances every 2 to 3 months, which creates having to revisit the horror of what’s happened to my Son, also the hurt and devastation for his sisters, the court system needs to change
Stay strong…I agree that the court system is difficult and the dragging things out prevents closure which is what you need. Grace and surrender are needed for sure!
Thank you for this video. My healthy 42 year old husband passed away 2 months ago and I'm devastated and heartbroken. The first month I was in complete denial, just now I'm starting to feel like I'm waking up from the nightmare. However at the same time I'm realizing people around me have moved on, their lives continue without a change while me and my children feel as we have been paralyzed. So sad and surreal feeling all around me. Blessings 🙏
Hi Virginia! Thank you for sharing! He is gone far too young and I’m so sorry. Know that your experience is completely normal even though it doesn’t make it easier. Give yourself space to grieve, even if others don’t. It is necessary. Keep sharing what’s going on with your kids to give them permission to grieve too.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty thanks again. I’m hoping that videos like this will bring some peace and comfort. I can’t believe how out lives changed in a split second. Blessings 🙏
My God watch over you and your children
@@BUBBLESPOGO Amen, praying every day for strength, peace and patience. Thank you Diane, blessings to you and yours 🙏
@@BUBBLESPOGO thank you. Taking one day at a time. Blessings 🙏
I recently lost my brother and mother suddenly and over a year ago I suddenly lost my sister. Unexplainable shock and grief
Wow! That is a lot! Do you have support?
I'm so sorry for ur losses! I'm praying for you!
Prayers for all of us who kost our loved ones.😢
On (JAN 31 24) My dad just had a Sudden asthma attack in front of me and i witnessed the whole thing as he turned blue and went down never to awaken again... im 24 and he was 56, i lived as a complete shut in and he loved and took care of me anyways, we did everything together. He was my best friend, my hero and my dad. I feel so unprepared for adult life without him.
I’m so sorry this happened. You may feel unprepared but you can do it! It will be hard but give yourself grace and just do the best that you can. Live for him!
I'm praying for your healing in Jesus' Name. Amen.
Prayer is always the best answer!
This literally just happened to me, I lost my mother in the exact way you described. I’m feeling so LOST and don’t even know how to put the event into words! It is the worst time of my life… thank you for doing this video
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Doesn't seem fair!
I'm sorry for your loss. I also lost my mom unexpectedly 9 months ago.
I've lost my mom, my treasure, 31 aug.. it was sudden, bc of an accident, after a brief stay in hospital.. I can't express my devastation enough. It's so hard. Sending a big hug..
My sister lost the love of her life unexpectedly 5/20/24. The hardest thing for me has been to see, hear and feel her pain and not being able to take it away. I loved my brother-in-law and still do. He left three wonderful young men and a beautiful, funny and heartfelt memories behind. He is dearly missed and I pray that my sister is able to feel joy I her life again after almost 30 years of experiencing true and indescribable love. RIP C.Orta 🙏🏽
I think your sister is so blessed to have a sister who cares so much. Having you on her side will help for sure. Making yourself available to be with her, to witness her grief, so she doesn’t have to do it all alone will make a huge difference. Remind her often that she can do this, and that she is not alone. Please let me know how I can help you both
I call what you are saying Hell on earth!!! Nobody can understand what u are going thought but someone that went through it...xoxo Rob
Yes. Try to focus on finding other people who understand rather than how many that don't. It will make it less painful. One day at a time . You CAN do this!
I am in alot of emotional pain since my husband died 4mo.ago
How are you guys coping up ! I am having a similar experience
I lost my husband 7/19/23 in a sudden and tragic car accident. He kissed and hugged me that morning. Told me he loved me and would see me in a few hrs. 25 min later he was gone, just like that. A man crossed the centerline. My husband ran off the road to avoid running over him. In the process he struck a tree and died of blunt force trauma to his chest. I am having a very difficult time dealing with his death. Almost 25 years together, now he’s forever gone. All I do is cry.
Jean, I'm so sorry. How tragic and unexpected for you. I'm here if you'd like to talk.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty I would like that very much. People have quit asking how I am and checking on me. I understand that they have their own lives. I am so lonesome. I cannot quit sobbing. I feel like I might die of a broken heart. It is the absolute worst feeling.
Email me at griefinspired@gmail.com
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty thank you
Sending love to your heart today❤
My 72 year old grandma passed away yesterday. November 14th, 2023. Her last words to me were "I love you, son! Stay safe!" as I said "I love you too! I'll see you when I get back!" and went to school. It turns out that she passed away just an hour after I arrived at class. She was more of a mom to me than anyone else was. She raised me ever since I was a baby. She'll always be in my heart. I'll never forget her. Rest in peace, Ma
This is so beautiful and what a blessing to have shared such beautiful words so close to the end! It's going to be a sad ride for you but you can do it one day at a time. Go and live everyday to make her proud!
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty Thank you so much. I absolutely needed to hear that. I'll do my very best to make her proud in everything I do
I lost my only child my beautiful 20 year old son-car accident 8 weeks ago. I am broken I am shattered I do Not want to be here-the pain/ heartache is beyond words unbearable. I want to be with my boy.
Hi Yesmin. Thanks so much for sharing here. My heart hurts for you. 8 weeks is so recent. I’m happy to talk if you’d like. It’s not fair to lose someone so young. It feels like the weight is too heavy to carry but you can carry it with the help of others. What was his name? I’d love to hear about him!
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I really hope you find healing and peace.
I too lost my only child when he was 19 in 2020 on a motorcycle. I literally felt the earth shift when the police came to tell me. My heart, my soul, my everything was gone. I went into shock. Honestly I’m still there. In as bad of shape as I’m in, it’s not that daily, minute by minute horror. There have been days I’ve woken up and it takes me a minute only a minute to realize it’s all true. I cherish those minutes because I know they are possible. I am a shell of who I was. Once outgoing, multi-tasking entrepreneur, I literally have sat in a chair since that day. It’s taken it’s toll. If you’re not seeing a therapist, I would encourage you too. Friends and family get worn out what to say to us. I’ve said before, I used to time the trains by my house but knowing what it would do to the conductor, it never happened. Our spirits are bloodied. The pain is real, raw and primal. I feel like the universe has played a dirty trick on him ….and me. I sit sometimes and look at my C-section scar and I say out loud “what happened….you were right here!”I drink too much wine now and smoke too many cigarettes…..I don’t care. It’s been an awful painful journey but if I say one thing, you will have those moments, though fleeting, that you can breath and your world was the way it was.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty I still have Not looked at his photos nor say his name-it is to painful to do so. I still can Not believe it happened. Car accident In Sydney-Princess highway 6/1/23 Friday. 💔🕊
@@SpanishAngels2020I am sorry for your loss 😔 yes the pain is so raw and unbearable..I am still trying to make sense of it..life just Not feel real to me anymore. I did see a therapist-it did Not help..nothing can help this type of heartache..our brains are Not designed for this pain..dealt an unbearable blow 💔 forever broken.
Thank you Catherine❤. I lost my oldest child suddenly in a car accident on July 27,2023. I so appreciate you reminding me it will be ok, it will get better to deal with my new life.
You can do this. Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve already come! Keep on living!
Yes Indeed. After the loss of my daughter my life change at an instant i dont know what to do as a mother it is very painful that your happiness, strength,hope, and your half of yout heart and life is indeed gone😭 how can i move forward of my life or to live in this world when the one who give your life colorful and hope is already gone😢
Reading all the comments i realised death is something so normal that happens in life...i just experienced my first loss of my beloved boyfriend who died in an accident when he was on the way to meet me...its the what if things that hurts and haunts the most...like what if he didnt come that day..
What if we didnt dated
What if i went instead of him
But nothing will change the past and all i can do is cherish those happy memories we had in those 5 years😭..
I miss you dear and i love you ❤
Hi Catherine I lost my 19 year old son in an accident .He fell down from 6th storey building while chatting with his friends at his hostel on 2nd feb 2023.It’s going to be six month but the pain is unbearable.He was my Angel 😇 .
Thank you for your video.🙏Please pray for my child 👦🏻 Many more to share but I have no strength to type .
I'm so sorry to hear about your son. You must really be devastated. Please give yourself time and patience and take care of yourself.
Thank you 🙏🏿
I smile through my tears my Dad left me with so many great memories ❤
I celebrated my birthday on the 4th of September and woke up on the Friday the 6th to a call my little brother found our father passed away 😭 it hurts my heart writing this.
He wasn't sick. I feel robbed of my time with him even though he was 84. Every day is a new day! Soon we'll fly to Jamaica to lay him to rest.
I'm grateful for these videos thank you ❤
www.skool.com/grief-inspired-6163. Come join me here to be part of a zoom Q&A
That’s exactly true a punch in the stomach, punch in the face all at once.
I am on my journey of healing after losing my fiancé on vacation. We were both in the situation and some how I survived. My life has flipped upside down since and each day I am still struggling to want to be here . The only thing that’s keeping me from doing that is the pain that I know my family will feel . I don’t want them to feel this feeling that I live with now but it’s truly hard .
Thank you Catherine for covering this ❤
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can relate, as even 21 months into it, and I still feel that way. When it happened, I didn't think I could survive, but that many months later and here I am. It will get better over time. But I still have my moments. They are just spaced further apart. You couldn't be in a better place to find help, then here.
I’m here if you need to talk! Send me an email @griefinspired@gmail.com. As hard as this is….you are still here and you have to believe there is a good reason for it. Let’s try and find it….
@@JayP-kd5rc Thank you so much and I am sorry for your loss too . I am so grateful I found Catherine’s page . Every support helps . I feel alone I’m my grief , but coming to this page gives me a sense of comfort.
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty thank you , I truly appreciate it
I’m happy to speak if you’d like. Send me an email @griefinspired@gmail.com
My only son was murdered an hour after we talked. The last thing he said I love you, mama.
RIP my best friend 5/7/23. I'm so heartbroken and crushed.
That's terrible and tragic for you. I'm so glad he said he loved you!!!
My daughter took her life. I know without my faith in God and his mercy I don’t think I would make it, but thank God I am doing better each and every day.
oh wow. i’m glad your faith in God helps. when did this happen? how old was she?
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty Natalie was 51 with 5 children the youngest 13 the oldest 29. She died Oct 4 2023
I just lost my 24 year old youngest son on the 1st hour and 20 minutes of 2024. Barely 18 days ago. I remain in disbelief, in shock. There are no words for the pain I currently experience. No one is prepared for this. I don’t know how to move on. Please pray for me and my family. My son’s body remains in the coroner’s office pending investigation. My son was shot in the head. Yes, it’s so tragic. We still have a long painful process to go through. So many more heart piercing subjects to cover, casket, burial or cremation, body viewing, how do we remember or give honor to my son. So many more. How do I move on? Yes, I must offer this pain to God. I must accept.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this! it is tragic. Be kind to yourself now and let others help with the planning. Right now you just have to survive but i promise it won’t be like this forever. i am here to help.
I’m stuck in the past, stuck in the mud. I can’t move forward. Because she past away from covid, I still live in my bedroom. I’ve tried to connect to god to try and heal and fill that void by my relationship is conflicted with god. I can’t forgive because I prayed and offered to sacrifice myself for hers. I’ll never get the closure I need because I was robbed of my last rights. I’ve been in survival mode since 12/18/21. I’ll never be happy anymore and I’ll never be whole as a part of me died when she did. Counseling didn’t help. I’m just counting my days till it’s my time to go. I really don’t care if I don’t see her anymore because I don’t see her in my dreams; she’s never visit me in any way. I’ll probably end up stuck in purgatory, wondering the earth before I ever find my door or come back in a different lifetime. She’s gone and that’s it. 💔🥀
Wow. We need to change your thoughts and words here....
My world is upside down and my heart is shattered. My soul is wounded.
Wounded soul? I don't know you and we've not met. But you will heal, it is a slow process
@michaelrodriguez,
You are not alone, I lost my best friend and Soulmate Beth on August 31st, 2021 from Covid and the hospital protocols. I am still struggling over her death and what the hospital did to her. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression ever since
My prayers to you all, and may God bless you all. 🙏 ❤ I lost my husband in Nov 2019, and I still struggle. It was completely unexpected. It was during the night heart related. We couldn't save him. He was just one month past his 47 birthday. And we were 2 months shy of our 27 wedding anniversary. I miss him every day. This video came up in my queue to watch. Obviously, God wanted me to see it. And today just happens to be his birthday, so happy birthday, babe. I will always love you.
Oh wow! So glad you are here! We can celebrate his memory today with you! What was his name? What was he like?
@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty
Thank you.
His name was Scott, and he was an amazing husband and father. He loved the outdoors, an avid hunter and fisherman.
@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb I am sorry for your loss. You're right. You do just learn to deal with it. I live in Michigan. Where do you live?
I lost my sweet husband last month. It was so sudden that I didn’t get to say I love you. Today is his birthday that I won’t be able to celebrate with him. My heart is so broken I miss him so much.
Do you think he knew how much you loved him. Celebrate for you, who he was and how much he meant to you. Focus on what he brought to you during your time together
After 10yrs and 1week we were supposed to be married in two days and I took him to work and two hours later they were calling saying I needed to get to the hospital , he was gone... That was over two years ago and I still cry every day....I think my soul broke.....
I'm so sorry. That must be so hard. Cry it all out until the tears fade. Focus on the love you shared and what he brought to your life!
My wife died of if stage 4 breast cancer last month, it had been miss diagnosed and I’m devastated. She didn’t deserve this.
How tragic, I'm sorry.
I came across your channel feeling in a state of shock because of my husband passing away 11 days ago (we were together nearly 40 years). I'm brand new in this grieving journey. Have been sitting here wondering how am I going to get through the next days and months? But I will survive even if everyone else has gone back to normal. My husband had been ill with heart/lung disease but with the new meds he improved a lot, even the doctors were shocked at his sudden death. So thank you for a life-line. Feeling sad from New Zealand.
I'm so glad you found this channel! We will be with you through it! Start with my early grief playlist and reach out when you have questions.
Thank you so much@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty
iam just truly truly grateful to GOD that i got to know your videos and have been part of your grief course. it has helped me immensely
Dear Jennifer, Grief is something terrible. I do understand what you are going thru, or have gone thru. Only prayers and the Lord have helped me out of my grief and depression years ago. One feels so terribly lost and hopeless. But the Lord carries us thru the dark and hard times. He is the Light and helps us out the this darkness. Just trust in the Lord. May the Lord bless you and strengthen you. 🙏
Trust
I found my partner of nine years March 6th and still can't believe it. It's like my heart has been ripped from my chest. Now on top of that I am being laid off from my job and all I want to do is be comforted by my love and she is no longer here. My heart goes out too everyone that has lost someone 💔 I feel utterly alone and helpless while trying to go on, but I feel like giving up. Thank you so much for this video.
Just hang on one day at a time. You can do this!
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty thank you!
Thank you
You're welcome
In Feb 2024 I lost both my parents. Two and a half weeks apart. They were elderly and weren’t well, but it’s still surreal. 💔Every death is sad.😪
Thank you always, dear Catherine 🙏❤️
just lost my mom today. absolutely gut wrenching. i’m going to live as happily as i can for her, but i miss her already more then words can say
I am so sorry to hear this! We’ve got you here and in my Facebook group. It won’t be easy but you can do this! I’m here to help!
May 21, 2022, i got home from work, and my husband woke up. He began coughing and puking. Inly 10 minutes later, i watched him die (while on the phone with 911). He was 53 years old.
It took well over a year for the shock to wear off. This past July i finally hit the stage where i can focus and figure out what to do with my life.
My daughter stepped in and took care of the funeral and i am so grateful for her. Good friends stepped in and kept me going. They encouraged me to wake up e ery day and live. Otherwise, i just want to be with my husband.
I'm so glad you had support. I hate that you are going through this. We are here to help...
@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty Thank you. Life is exhausting without him. I struggle with no energy or strength every day. Besides losing my husband there was just trauma after trauma the first 8 months so there is a lot I am recovering from. I just take each day as it comes. I try not to plan or stress over anything. I try to be kind to myself.
I'm happy to speak with you if you'd like about my course that starts on Monday. It would give you an opportunity to share what's going on and be in a space with other people who are also grieving. You will also learned a lot about your own grief and how to move through it.
Nearly 22 months ago I had the phone call that shattered me, my beloved partner passed away suddenly. I'm no stranger to grief whether humans or pets, but this is on another level, the pain is horrendous. I've been through a lot in the past but this has broken me. There will never be anyone else, he was my first, last and everything in-between, we doted on each other and I remain devoted forever. I'm like Mount Everest that's lost half its land mass, I live for me as he'd want me to, but I do more adrenaline stuff for him too so I'm honouring him. Fortunately I'm Clairvoyant, so I know he's around, how people cope without that is beyond me. Thank you 🇬🇧💔🕯️🙏
I don’t like to use the word broken because you don’t need to be fixed, you need to grieve. You sound devastated which makes sense but give yourself time to grieve and decide what’s next. The world might just surprise you !
I lost my Teresa over three years ago and the things that followed has completely destroyed my positive view of the world. I try to keep a positive and strong appearance on the outside mostly for my three children and I want them to keep a good attitude and hope for the future and I promised my wife to keep our girls safe and to keep us together as a family. And so far I have gone through some impossible situations like losing our home and having a family member try to have the girls taken away and stealing money from me . I keep pushing through every day and some days it's almost to much to get through the day and over the last few months I have not been in the best health and I worry about what if I can't keep going but all I can do is keep trying until I drop and some times i cant finish the day
Do only the things you have to right now and focus the rest on you and your health. Your daughter need you and you have to be okay mentally and physically. Pushing through doesn’t always work.
Thank you!!!!! My husband passed away suddenly last June and I've been experiencing tremendous shock, numbness, grief, etc. I've even gone to grief support groups and people just don't seem to get it, many even put pressure on me for still feeling like this or why I'm still in so much grief. I'm just trying to get through but I don't have support. Unfortunately, it's been the opposite. I thank God for my children!
Are you in the Grief Inspired Facebook group?
i just lost someone very very very close to me today. 10 years of memories. gone in an instant. thank you for this.
I’m so sorry this happened today! The closer they are to you, the more you will grieve. The memories will live on for you, I promise! Write them down to capture them if that will help! The love you have for them will live on as well!
Your voice is so soft and words are so so soothing. I lost my dearest son 19 to accident 5 yrs ago. What u say so true. We should allow ourselves to be helped and healed. Always grateful to the countless people who cradled me thro the grief. I still find deep connection with my own small support group which i gathered.
December 10,2022 the love of my life passed suddenly in front of me. His last breath was my frantic breath giving him cpr. We were alone in a foreign country just starting our retirement dreams. He had a full physical a month prior and was a extremely healthy and fit 60 year old. It’s been almost 9 months and the fog and utter shock is lifting and all I can think of is ‘what now’. That is the worst part. We had our life mapped out and in an instant it was blown to bits
I'm so sorry this happened! What now? It's time for your healing to begin and to figure out a totally uncertain and unexpected future. I'd be honored to help in my course!
Thank you for making this video. My wife died suddenly of sepsis from just a small infection that she had. The hospital tried to say it was COVID but the last night that I saw her, She said honey, I can't remember where we live. I was working overnight so I didn't think anything of it and was like I see you in the morning.I gotta go. She died the next day when I went to go see her with the teddy bear I brought her. Her family despised me because I'm a devout Christian. I still don't have her ashes, but that's not the worst, she had amputations due to Diabetes. I was her wound care provider, the bandage changer so I took care of her for a LONG time. I don't know how to care for ME. I'm just being 100% transparent. I'm not doing good, I'm embarrassed to say it, but its true. Thank you from the depths of my heart for this video. The tears are making the words blurry.
Hi Matt, you are clearly a great husband. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Please join our Facebook group so we can support you.
The day my 31 year old Son died I felt a part of me die. Three years later my world is still upside down and my heart cries everyday. No one should have to bury a child. Its awful
I agree with you!
I’m so sorry,3 years ago I lost my 35 year old suddenly! Part of you is missing and if anything it gets worse,the longing for your child is so deep and painful. I’m so sorry I truly am! Sending hugs. 🫂❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼
My ten years old daughter died in a car accident. It's been decades since she died and I grieve for her everyday. The pain of burying your child is horrific.
My husband was very attentive to changes in his health. On 15 March 2023, I accompanied him to the hospital, hoping to do tests that would have explained the pain in his back. This discomfort started around November 2022. Tests were done as he was going through so much pain. Finally, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He passed away on 16 April 2023. It was so unexpected to us, his 2 daughters, and everyone. He was only 62 yrs old and still
working. It has has been a difficult silent journey. There has been too many distractions distractions that I feel I've put my grief on hold. I'm hoping I'll get to a point where I'll focus on myself and my daughters' journeys. I miss him so much.
www.skool.com/grief-inspired-6163/about. Come join us in my group and get a free coaching call so we can discuss! I’d love to help!
Thank you. I may need to lean on this channel. Just happened today. Thank you for being here.
Send me an email and tell me more of what happened. Please use this channel and my Facebook group to support you.
Hi Catherine, thank you so much for making this video. It has been 4 months since I lost my fiancée and honestly it gets harder as time passes because it makes it more permanent. I do not know how to do this.
None of us know how to deal with it when it happens to us. I get it because I felt exactly the same way. I can help you.
I needed this just lost my grandmother this morning and I just know I will not recover from it 😔
Awe. I’m so sorry. You will be okay. Will you miss your grandmother for a very long time. Yup! Let’s talk about getting you the support you need. When you are ready, send me an e-mail at griefInspired@gmail.com
A Grandmother's love is a precious thing that will remain with you always.
Thank you so very much, I needed to hear this ❤
You are so welcome
A smart old man once said....
"It's better to love and lost than not to have loved at all."
I'm not believing that just yet, but one day, I know I will.
Thank you.
That's why I say grief is a process. It takes time but I have faith that you will get there
My parents passed away in 2021 nine days apart from covid. I’m still in shock and the grief has killed me from the inside out. I can’t get used my new life without my parents. I couldn’t be with them when they were Ill and dying. I was very dependent on Mum . I lived with my parents for 39 years.
😢 wow!..im so sorry. That has to be hard. Prayers 🙏🏼. its been 3 months now since my mom passed suddenly. I was kind of in shock and still in disbelief but now it's setting in and really starting to hit me and I'm struggling to cope that I will no longer see her in this life.
I'm sorry for your loss. My mom also live with me my entire life of 41 years. She was my everything. I'm praying for you. 🙏🏻
Losing your parents at the same time must be so devastating. Take the time you need and then use their wisdom as inspiration to be on your own. I'm sure they would be proud of you.
Wow I thank you SOO much.. I never thought I would have to look up videos like this… but I’m proud of myself for searching inside of acting upon thoughts of self harm… you are very comforting
Thank you! I'm glad they help!
You are in my prayers. My best friend went through almost the same thing. And my husband died unexpectedly 3/23. They believe it was a heart attack while driving.
How difficult! Thank you for your kind words. So much love to u!
I t, s been 8 yrs since my husband died suddenly in front of me at work. Absolutly surreal event!!!! I did hold on. I found help immediately and I,m still holding on. Everything that happens after that moment will shock you. Life changes dramatically. You have only 2 choices: stay in bed & cry or bravely face the new reality and survive. As I look around my life today, my husband of 42 years would be surprised and very proud of me. And honestly, I am still sad he,s not here enjoying this new life I have created.
Im so glad he’d be proud of you! Im sure you are proud of yourself!!! ❤️❤️❤️
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNultySo odd this showed up today - tomorrow is our anniversary. I,m good, my life is pretty wonderful - it just takes holding on, being persistent and brave enough to face the fears. thank you for posting this for all of us and replying!
@@pennyjackson1699 Are you in the Grief Inspired Facebook group? We’d love to talk there!!!
My best friend suddenly passed away on the 4th of July this year due to his alcoholism. He was only 54. He had gotten sober in August of 2017 after almost dying, his heart had given out, but he survived when he wasn't even supposed to. This past august would've been his 6th year sobriety. It turns out he had be secretly drinking again for the past 2 years and none of us even knew.
I had just seen him exactly 2 weeks before he was hospitalized for cardiac problems. We had gone out to lunch, everything was normal. We talked every single day. Everything seemed fine. Then 5 days after being admitted (also put into a coma) he passed. I feel so lucky to have been allowed in the room with his family while they turned off the 6 different machines that were keeping him alive.
Ever since he's passed though, I have felt so lost. He was my brother, he was best friend, he was my life. I don't know what to do without him. I wish I could've seen that he was drinking again. I don't know how I didn't notice it. But he's gone now, and I don't know what to do. I have days where I am totally fine, and then days like today where everything hurts and I can't breathe.
Oh this sounds so hard. This is why alcoholism is labeled a disease, just like any other illness that leads to death. Now is the time to write down all of the wonderful memories you have of him. Honor him and make your life count to show how much you love him!!!! Maybe one day you can do something to help others who struggle with alcoholism or it's repercussions????
I'd love to have you join my course thy starts Monday!!!
@@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty I appreciate your kind words. It’s been really rough. I lost my uncle suddenly as well only 4 months prior to Miki’s passing, he was 56. It’s just been a rollercoaster of a year to say the least 😔
It is a lot of change and a lot of adjustment that will take time to process. Give yourself the time you need
My mom suddenly passed away 😢 two weeks ago
I live in IL. and she lived in AZ. I couldn't afford to pay my last respects. In this past year my best friend suddenly died and on New Years Day my ex-husband died suddenly. I feel so overwhelmed. I'm still in shock. Life is just surreal to me.
I bet. That is quite a bit of loss and it must feel surreal if you weren't able to be there or participate in funerals etc. I would suggest having a ceremony if you own to help allow what has happened to sink in.
I lost my daughter about a year ago she was an angel she would buy presents for all the kids and if there was a bug or a fly around the house she would tell me to take it outside
Hey my common law husband was murdered (shot) infront me and over 2 kids. On June 14 2022. He died without saying I love you or goodbye. Heartbroken until it's hard to find words that describe my feelings.
I stumbled on your channel looking for a way to cope. I lost my fiancé 3 days ago to cardiac arrest. He suddenly collapsed, I saw him at the hospital, being revived but he was gone. I'm lost and I feel my life won't move any further without him. I feel like I lost my whole world...
Oh wow, I'm sorry. Feeling like you've lost your whole sounds right, however. You are likely still in shock and will be for a while. You are now in survival mode, one day, one hour at a time.
5:38 I experienced the sudden death of my beloved brother. One day he was alive, next morning he was death. His health wasn't bad, he was successful and loving, fun. I can't tell you how I fell yet. A month later and still I am going from many stages, worse yet I seek counseling and the counselor wasn't the right one, I got more lost. I am listening listening to videos, feeling my feelings and will see. I love you and miss you brother😢😢😢
Would you like to talk and discuss joining my next course?
Omg. You nailed it
I’m crying in relief
I’m so glad you found it useful. Tell me more about crying in relief. What are you relieved about?
Thank you for this video. I lost my fiance on May 2nd, 2024, unexpectedly, and i can barely get through the day. I feel so lost and alone.
Sudden grief is in some ways even more painful. Now that you’ve found the Grief Inspired community, you dont have to be alone in your grief.
thank you for this video. My husband was killed on the job August 30 2021😢
I'm sorry you have to go through this!
I went to work my daughter called me telling my wife her mother wouldn't wake up. I was 2 hrs away i got back in town, the paramedics had taken her to the hospital. She wasn't conscious.this is the hard part we didnt have the chance to have any communication before we took her off the life support. It's something I'll never forget till I die. To see someone take their last breath. She had a brain aneurysm that let loose.
Im so sorry. I have experienced watching my infant take his last breath and last year, my dad. It is a heavy burden to bare but Im glad I was there for them. I try to see being there as a blessing because not being there in both scenarios, for me, was not an option.
You can do this. One day at a time. It is trauma on top of grief that you may want to work through to heal.
Thank you for your information
i’ll never forget the day i got the call about my mom and her brain hemorrhage. i just fell out… collapsed on the phone with the doctor. my boyfriend at the time had to pick me up off the ground. i’m the only child so it was so overwhelming for me, on top of dealing with the loss of my best friend. it’s been 4 years and i don’t think i’ll ever get over it.
Lost my mum two weeks ago... And she was my best friend... I'm still in shock that I'm never going to see her again...
Must be really hard. You can do this!
My best friend, my soulmate, my forever and always was murdered dec 30 2021 and then in the end the person/persons responsible werent even held accountable and there are so many questions. He was only 32 years old. I just can not figure out how to live my life anymore. It is effecting every part of my life.
This is a well thought out video much appreciated