I think personally my desire to get into a relationship mainly stems from never being in one, not even a date, so it also partially stems from a giant feeling of curiosity too not just plain romantic desperation. i been trying to work on my confidence recently, i now dont really have trouble talking to people that much, although i still feel that i dont have too much to talk about unless it's someone i know well to delve into topics that they won't find boring.
I hear you. That's me too. I'm only 16 and I know everyone says but that's so young you have plenty of time. But people don't know what I go through. I see teen couples all the time. At school,at the amusement parks,on the internet and it already feels like I'm so behind and everyone's in a relationship but I have to remind myself such is not the case. Influencers say have standards,don't be desperate but how can you when you've never been in a relationship. Maybe I am a bit desperate but for a person whose never been in a real life relationship and seeing them constantly flashed before your eyes it's kind of hard.
relationships are like black magic to me, how does a girl get so interested in you or me that thay want to be in a relationship... thay is a spelling bee but fuck it 💅
I’m 24 and I haven’t even been on my first date yet. It's challenging not to feel anxious when you've been single your entire life and all you want is to find someone to love and be loved by. I worry about ending up alone. At this point, I feel like I've over-improved myself.
I feel the same but idk I'm hopeless Romantic... Btw overly self improved ain't a bad thing tho? Maybe try to be grateful and enjoy the little things u do
The self acceptance part was so refreshing to hear. We put so much pressure on ourselves and that's probably what is stoping us from getting what we want. Thanks for this video💕
Also it's important to know that if some man can't accept you unless you act a different way that's not someone you want in your life. He'll cheat on you the instant you don't meet his standards and that's just not real love
That's my problem. I had a goal for myself at the start of my junior year that I'd learn to be confident. But I put so much pressure on myself that now that it's summer and I'm soon to become a Senior I feel like just as much of a failure as I did last year.
@@shimmer410-o2isame girl same. i’m litteraly about to be a senior in highschool and had the desire each year to be in a relationship and often told myself that next year i’ll get a bf or be more confident and it’s just like not happening lol. i’ve never talked to a boy romantically, held hands, kissed,hugged and all that good stuff so it’s like so awkward and i feel like i’m just falling behind 😍
You can also earn secure attachment. I have, and I had hot and cold/abusive parents. My self acceptance and improvement, while in progress (forever), has led me to a healthy and fulfilling place. I'm satisfied, and I absolutely have found the one.
This is some good gender neutral advice everybody should take. I like self improvement as most men, but I think we can benefit from this viewpoint as well. I like it! I’ve caught myself being in some of those bad mindsets and it had definitely played a part in the end of my last relationship. Good video!
I unfortunately kinda am wasting my single era. Not only an I single but also pretty lonely. And I have ADHD. So it's really not great. Sometimes for days I'm on my phone and even forget to eat. It's sometimes hard to concentrate when I'm not with others. I do try to go out and meet new people but often times I meet amazing new folks and then I can't spend so much time with them cuz everyone is occupied and on the phone. Meanwhile the only places where I can go to hang out actually regularly and socialise usually are places where you need to pay a lot of money to go to. Like the sports things. I hate this world and I feel lonely.
i'm so sorry u feel this way, it sounds like you're being really hard on yourself. you don't have to be perfect all the time or even most of the time. we should be allowed to exist and mess up. we are human after all. we all make mistakes + self sabotage :(( you're not alone in feeling like your efforts aren't appreciated, i've felt that way too, we just have to keep showing up, and keep being ourselves, so when the right people come around we'll be ready 🙏🏽 finding the right people is a game of patience i've noticed 🌿
@@ChristinaAaliyah I'm not wasting my single years anymore. I went to a summer camp. Even tho I'm like 20 ans most people were like 5 years younger honestly it was still just simply amazing and unbelievable and it's so cool and so much positive emotions it's insane man.
Hey Christina ! I just wanted to leave a comment saying thank you for posting this video. I was feeling really down today seeing all my family members and friends getting into relationships meanwhile I have never been in one, this video really cheered me up and made me realize that being single for now is okay. A relationship won’t magically solve all my problems and I should be confident in myself before even thinking about starting one. ❤
literally!! you've got this alex ❤ 🥹i also think we can only really enjoy a relationship when we're fully happy + content with ourselves. if we still have anxieties and insecurities they can pop up and possibly self sabotage the relationship, & like you said being single means we can work on our confidence so when the time is right we are ready 💘
This is a great video analysis. It’s refreshing to see videos like this since there’s so many “self help videos” in UA-cam now days saying the same repeated advice when all we need to improve on is our own self acceptance than focusing 80% of the time doing self improvement
hey christina! i never comment on youtube videos, but i just wanted to hopefully brighten your day. you are one of my favourite youtubers and although this isnt relevent to the video i thought id say i really love your content, i am a very confident social person but i resonante with your videos still being an overachiever, perfectionist and hugeeee people pleaser. im working on myself and find your advice so true from the heart and so helpful and i wanted to thank you for giving it to the world. listening to you is addicting, you really speak with so much expression and if i knew you in real life i know we would click, you are the exact sort of person i want to be friends with, and want to be seen like to others. so thank you once again for everything you do you really do make a difference in people's lives, well done for all the growth you most definetely deserve and hopefully much more is on its way.
georgia!! you've literally made my day 🥹 not me tearing up over a yt comment 💀 thank you so much this literally means the world, just from this comment alone i know we would click too 😭 **the biggest virtual hug** 🤗 🤗
haven't gotten your videos recommended to me until today, and omg the algorithm never fails! I'm on a binge watch of your videos and honestly they help me feel soooo much better about dating and not being alone.
Girls listen up. I was despreadly in love with a man who strung me along, never comitted, cheated on me and dumped me. For a long time I was shattered. Then I decided to stay single. I discovered Tango. Fell in love with it and it became my new exiting life. I started acting. I got an exiting job. I started my self love yourney. My life is soooo much better! My standarts are so high because I respect myself and have clear boudaries. Bad men stand no chance. Use your single times girlies! Milk it for all its worth. Dont sit miserable at home....watching his social media and being sad and lazy. Laziness is a silent killer
Love this for u!! I'm all for people have a life outside of dating, via hobbies/fun activities!! There is os much more to life than people validating you on the dating apps 😭
how to THRIVE (not survive) in your single era 💘✨🪩 📌 timestamps 0:00 - intro 1:22 self acceptance over self improvement 4:11 attachment styles 8:21 your standards don’t matter but your self worth does 11:35 people aren’t as put together as you think 15:18 work on your confidence not on your looks 18:21 being interesting over being attractive 19:28 outro
I'm struggling to get through a recurrence of depression now, after one partner completely fucked with my head and then I dated someone who came on really strong but also seemingly healthier and it just didn't work out. I'm trying to attract a good partner and I think I am doing well with that, but I don't know how to hold someone's interest for long. I've been working on finding fulfillment in my own life but I can't help but compare how much better I handle life with a partner.
your channel is gonna keep becoming bigger and bigger bestie! you’re helping us all so much and so consistent. keep doing ur thing will forever support🙂↕️🥳☝🏾❤️🔥‼️
People that are in relationships who give advice to single people are always saying you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else and I hate that quote so much. It's more easier for me to love someone else because they don't have the flaws that I have. While I do believe it's important to be confident in who you are and stable on your own I believe the saying can go both ways. You can love someone else but not love yourself because you obviously see them as perfect compared to yourself.
yeah it's a very popular quote and i don't think it's 100% true either. bc even in platonic or family relationships. for me, i know FOR SURE i love my mom wayyy more than i love myself. and i think my mom probably loves me more than she loves herself too. i think as long as you have some element of self love that's fine, you just need to start there. and it's very common for us to love partners, friends and family more than we love ourselves
Just out of curiosity: you mentioned being insecure of your height, is it more like "I'm so tall, no one's gonna date me because guys like shorter girls" or more like "I'm so tall, there are so few guys above this height, my options are limited"?
this is advice primarily for women and I understand that's your demographic. But as a man if you don't improve constantly and aren't mindful of your position in the hierarchy and constantly strive to be better, no matter how many friendships you have , you won't be able to get any romantic relationships.
I think personally my desire to get into a relationship mainly stems from never being in one, not even a date, so it also partially stems from a giant feeling of curiosity too not just plain romantic desperation. i been trying to work on my confidence recently, i now dont really have trouble talking to people that much, although i still feel that i dont have too much to talk about unless it's someone i know well to delve into topics that they won't find boring.
omggg frikkin sameee, you said it all to a T for me 😭
ooooh i agree with this too, i lowkey wanna see what it's like
I hear you. That's me too. I'm only 16 and I know everyone says but that's so young you have plenty of time. But people don't know what I go through. I see teen couples all the time. At school,at the amusement parks,on the internet and it already feels like I'm so behind and everyone's in a relationship but I have to remind myself such is not the case. Influencers say have standards,don't be desperate but how can you when you've never been in a relationship. Maybe I am a bit desperate but for a person whose never been in a real life relationship and seeing them constantly flashed before your eyes it's kind of hard.
THIS
relationships are like black magic to me, how does a girl get so interested in you or me that thay want to be in a relationship...
thay is a spelling bee but fuck it 💅
I CLICKED SO FAST OMG I NEED THIS 💀
I’m 24 and I haven’t even been on my first date yet. It's challenging not to feel anxious when you've been single your entire life and all you want is to find someone to love and be loved by. I worry about ending up alone. At this point, I feel like I've over-improved myself.
I feel the same but idk I'm hopeless Romantic... Btw overly self improved ain't a bad thing tho? Maybe try to be grateful and enjoy the little things u do
girl, it's never too late. i always tell myself if you exist they exist. there's something looking for exactly the quality and traits you have 🦋
The self acceptance part was so refreshing to hear. We put so much pressure on ourselves and that's probably what is stoping us from getting what we want.
Thanks for this video💕
so true 🥲
Also it's important to know that if some man can't accept you unless you act a different way that's not someone you want in your life. He'll cheat on you the instant you don't meet his standards and that's just not real love
I feel so seen rn with over 200 self-improvement videos on my watch later playlist 👀
relatable 🤣 mine used to be 150+ back in the day
That's my problem. I had a goal for myself at the start of my junior year that I'd learn to be confident. But I put so much pressure on myself that now that it's summer and I'm soon to become a Senior I feel like just as much of a failure as I did last year.
@@shimmer410-o2i ikr, becoming confident feels like a never ending journey, i really hope consistency and patience will save us 🙏
@@shimmer410-o2isame girl same. i’m litteraly about to be a senior in highschool and had the desire each year to be in a relationship and often told myself that next year i’ll get a bf or be more confident and it’s just like not happening lol. i’ve never talked to a boy romantically, held hands, kissed,hugged and all that good stuff so it’s like so awkward and i feel like i’m just falling behind 😍
You can also earn secure attachment. I have, and I had hot and cold/abusive parents. My self acceptance and improvement, while in progress (forever), has led me to a healthy and fulfilling place. I'm satisfied, and I absolutely have found the one.
This is some good gender neutral advice everybody should take. I like self improvement as most men, but I think we can benefit from this viewpoint as well. I like it! I’ve caught myself being in some of those bad mindsets and it had definitely played a part in the end of my last relationship. Good video!
thanks yaadie!
There's also disorganized attachment (fearful-avoidant) a mixture of anxious and avoidant attachment styles, the hot and cold one
Thank you for introducing the self-acceptance aspect, I never really considered it enough until now. Another video that's so helpful, thank you girl💕
You're so welcome!
"Relationships are built not found" is profound
Girl your biceps look damn toned❤😮
i am hench 😩 idk why i never go to the gym
I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and other. That meditation book called 30 Days to Stop Apologizing by Harper Daniels was helpful.
omg ill have to check this out
I unfortunately kinda am wasting my single era. Not only an I single but also pretty lonely. And I have ADHD. So it's really not great. Sometimes for days I'm on my phone and even forget to eat. It's sometimes hard to concentrate when I'm not with others. I do try to go out and meet new people but often times I meet amazing new folks and then I can't spend so much time with them cuz everyone is occupied and on the phone. Meanwhile the only places where I can go to hang out actually regularly and socialise usually are places where you need to pay a lot of money to go to. Like the sports things. I hate this world and I feel lonely.
i'm so sorry u feel this way, it sounds like you're being really hard on yourself. you don't have to be perfect all the time or even most of the time. we should be allowed to exist and mess up. we are human after all. we all make mistakes + self sabotage :(( you're not alone in feeling like your efforts aren't appreciated, i've felt that way too, we just have to keep showing up, and keep being ourselves, so when the right people come around we'll be ready 🙏🏽 finding the right people is a game of patience i've noticed 🌿
@@ChristinaAaliyah I'm not wasting my single years anymore. I went to a summer camp. Even tho I'm like 20 ans most people were like 5 years younger honestly it was still just simply amazing and unbelievable and it's so cool and so much positive emotions it's insane man.
Prove it in your actions!!!! THIS HIT ME
😮💨
Hey Christina ! I just wanted to leave a comment saying thank you for posting this video. I was feeling really down today seeing all my family members and friends getting into relationships meanwhile I have never been in one, this video really cheered me up and made me realize that being single for now is okay. A relationship won’t magically solve all my problems and I should be confident in myself before even thinking about starting one. ❤
literally!! you've got this alex ❤ 🥹i also think we can only really enjoy a relationship when we're fully happy + content with ourselves. if we still have anxieties and insecurities they can pop up and possibly self sabotage the relationship, & like you said being single means we can work on our confidence so when the time is right we are ready 💘
This is a great video analysis. It’s refreshing to see videos like this since there’s so many “self help videos” in UA-cam now days saying the same repeated advice when all we need to improve on is our own self acceptance than focusing 80% of the time doing self improvement
i agree!! some great creators out there but i feel like they all say the same stuff
hey christina! i never comment on youtube videos, but i just wanted to hopefully brighten your day. you are one of my favourite youtubers and although this isnt relevent to the video i thought id say i really love your content, i am a very confident social person but i resonante with your videos still being an overachiever, perfectionist and hugeeee people pleaser. im working on myself and find your advice so true from the heart and so helpful and i wanted to thank you for giving it to the world. listening to you is addicting, you really speak with so much expression and if i knew you in real life i know we would click, you are the exact sort of person i want to be friends with, and want to be seen like to others. so thank you once again for everything you do you really do make a difference in people's lives, well done for all the growth you most definetely deserve and hopefully much more is on its way.
georgia!! you've literally made my day 🥹 not me tearing up over a yt comment 💀 thank you so much this literally means the world, just from this comment alone i know we would click too 😭 **the biggest virtual hug**
🤗 🤗
@@ChristinaAaliyah virtual hugs back🥹🤗🤗
Your channel is the best REALLY.
you're making me shy
haven't gotten your videos recommended to me until today, and omg the algorithm never fails! I'm on a binge watch of your videos and honestly they help me feel soooo much better about dating and not being alone.
Girl, this is exactly what I need!! AHHHH 🛐✨️
Christina you're a breath of fresh air, and I mean it. Thank u for this video, it's eye-opening!
you're gonna make me cry 😩
i needed to see this TODAY, thank you universe
amen
Girls listen up. I was despreadly in love with a man who strung me along, never comitted, cheated on me and dumped me. For a long time I was shattered. Then I decided to stay single. I discovered Tango. Fell in love with it and it became my new exiting life. I started acting. I got an exiting job. I started my self love yourney. My life is soooo much better! My standarts are so high because I respect myself and have clear boudaries. Bad men stand no chance. Use your single times girlies! Milk it for all its worth. Dont sit miserable at home....watching his social media and being sad and lazy. Laziness is a silent killer
Love this for u!! I'm all for people have a life outside of dating, via hobbies/fun activities!! There is os much more to life than people validating you on the dating apps 😭
you are changing my perspective so much.
mission accomplished! hehe
Love you girl, thank you for this video from the bottom of my heart
likewise
Gurllll I feel called out 😂😭
i'm just doing my job 😭
needed this video tysm
manifesting the best things for you
thank u queen
Girl your channel is amazing!! Thank you for all these videos and the effort you put in each of them💗
thank you so much 🥹 truly
Thank you! Loved this video 📹.
I needed to hear this.
The algorithm.
I agree it's a friendship with kissing and sex in my book 📙.
hahah this made me cackle, agreed
So smart yet so young. 💪
thanks :')
Thanks girl love all your videos you’ve helped me soo much luv ya ❤
i love u 2
how to THRIVE (not survive) in your single era 💘✨🪩
📌 timestamps
0:00 - intro
1:22 self acceptance over self improvement
4:11 attachment styles
8:21 your standards don’t matter but your self worth does
11:35 people aren’t as put together as you think
15:18 work on your confidence not on your looks
18:21 being interesting over being attractive
19:28 outro
I'm struggling to get through a recurrence of depression now, after one partner completely fucked with my head and then I dated someone who came on really strong but also seemingly healthier and it just didn't work out. I'm trying to attract a good partner and I think I am doing well with that, but I don't know how to hold someone's interest for long.
I've been working on finding fulfillment in my own life but I can't help but compare how much better I handle life with a partner.
So wise for your age
thank u Claire
Eye opener video omgg
I need this!!♡ omg are u stalking me? Like literally I was thinking about this
you told me telepathically hehe
You’ve unlocked the cheat codes to life omg lol
your channel is gonna keep becoming bigger and bigger bestie! you’re helping us all so much and so consistent. keep doing ur thing will forever support🙂↕️🥳☝🏾❤️🔥‼️
i love you
Surviving not thriving in all aspects I'll be honest 🤣
People that are in relationships who give advice to single people are always saying you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else and I hate that quote so much. It's more easier for me to love someone else because they don't have the flaws that I have. While I do believe it's important to be confident in who you are and stable on your own I believe the saying can go both ways. You can love someone else but not love yourself because you obviously see them as perfect compared to yourself.
yeah it's a very popular quote and i don't think it's 100% true either. bc even in platonic or family relationships. for me, i know FOR SURE i love my mom wayyy more than i love myself. and i think my mom probably loves me more than she loves herself too.
i think as long as you have some element of self love that's fine, you just need to start there. and it's very common for us to love partners, friends and family more than we love ourselves
@@ChristinaAaliyah Yes and loving others can remind you to treat yourself with the same love
Thank you
Great video
thanks
Just out of curiosity: you mentioned being insecure of your height, is it more like "I'm so tall, no one's gonna date me because guys like shorter girls" or more like "I'm so tall, there are so few guys above this height, my options are limited"?
You're missing a finger in your thumbnail! Regardless great videooooo
😂😂
As a male, please make more videos 😅
i'm here every sunday 😎
you're the realest person I swear, I'm sick of some of those content creators who has that unrealistic standards ( ；∀；)
Girlie can you make content for pre-meds pleaseeeeeee??? id love to know how you got into med school
check out my old vids! i made soooooo many
this is advice primarily for women and I understand that's your demographic.
But as a man if you don't improve constantly and aren't mindful of your position in the hierarchy and constantly strive to be better, no matter how many friendships you have , you won't be able to get any romantic relationships.
hot take but i think self acceptance has to come in at some point
❤
Calling me out
doing my job 😎
wig blindness
LMAOOOO