New Relationships: Your Partner’s ‘Ever-Present’ Ex
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- Опубліковано 28 лип 2024
- Karla writes, “Dear Susan, I recently met a guy who I really like and I believe there is potential for a relationship. My concern is his ex. They broke up 3 years ago, but they have a business together, and she stays at his house often 'cause they're friends and have pets together. I don't want to be insecure, but I also don't want to be a fool. Should I say something at all, or move on?”
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I literally just walked from this same scenario. I told him that I can’t be a 3rd party with your “best friend.”
There’s 3 types of relationships that are no-no’s.
1) Any person who is physically or mentally abusive.
2) A person who is flirtatious and/or promiscuous.
3) A person who’s ex is still on the scene.
Susan is always spot on! ❤️
@@SentStarrQueenOFLight-yp8cx scam artist!!
@@sj3601 Agreed. Sorry for this- it's like whack a mole. They are everywhere on the internet. Do our best to remove them but can't possibly keep up with each and every scam artist.
Yes sir ree
Amen
Amen
The emotional connection, the friendship and the companionship are there. Every time you two will have an argument he will run to her bitchin' about you. You will forever be second. It doesn't matter if they have sex or not, what they have is a relationship, plain and simple. Run.
OH HELL NO! MOVE ON! WHY GIVE YOURSELF ANXIETY IN THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP/SITUATION?
Agreed
This is disgusting
Shared custody of pets are a MASSIVE red flag for me.
Oh Jesus that IS RICH😂😂😂😂😂😂 what an excuse
Amen
Im 57. Ex in your picture equals major red flag!! No excuses! Go find another!
I would NOT be able to handle that! Id say the dog is being used to keep each other in eachothers life....just like a child would be.
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
@@godstimejohn6184 you cant recover a relationship that doesnt exsist. If the person is still in love with the ex then there is no counselor on the planet that can change that.
@@modurosaro5927 i do not want my ex back lol he is the ex for a good reason!
The problem is, they HAVE an emotional intimacy that's solid, maintained, and years ahead of anything you might offer. You will never be the first one he calls with news, you will never be The Most Trusted... These PARTNER duties are already fulfilled. Even if they are absolutely platonic... They are already committed. L
Weak inconsiderate boundaries hit home.
I've been working on growing and healing a relationship and then the x came back around again and he wasn't able to let her know that were working on moving forward together he just played it off like we're all friends and then told me he's having issues with having other attractions...
For a year he told me he was moving on from his ex had no more feelings &it was toxic and so when the ex came back I assumed he would have no problem in telling her where he was with me...
This was a huge red flag that he's not clear with himself can't set healthy boundaries and it creates way too much confusion ,,again!and so I am walking away,going no contact and my heart is broken because I have invested a lot of time energy and emotion and we have a very special soul connection. 🦋
Move on. Bye.
You never fail in giving the best advice, it is so eye opening! The statement about boundaries, not having them and not being considerate of the other person! It’s worst is when they lead you down the path that they want a relationship with you but hid the fact they still have a relationship with their EX. Like paying her bills and taking her on trips and to events. But, that great KARMA comes around and their EX meets their new person while at a event with them!
Hi there! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! It makes me very happy to know that my work resonates and you find it helpful!
She stays at his apartment/ house? Nooooo. Very weird
I would NEVER allow my significant other to be friends with their ex/s or have female friends. These are the primary reasons for relationships/marriages ending. Hence work wives, & online ones as well.
Thank you, Susan, for answering my question, ❤️ and for your always timely and wise advice. I love how you empower us, especially with what you said at the end: potential doesn't mean we want them in our lives. I am autistic and have a bit of trouble grasping the idea of people being dishonest or not totally fair, and you are always so helpful in your advice. Thank you for giving me guidance on how to navigate the dating world. This made my day. Much love from Mexico 🇲🇽.
PS. I did run and never looked back.
I can recommend you of a man who can help bring your ex back within 24-hour. 💞💞💞💞
What sap him**
I can recommend you of a man who can help bring your ex back within 24-hour. 💞💞💞💞
What sap him**
Oh my goodness! that was you! I love it when i get direct feedback from the writer. Thank you Kar
Wow. When I left my ex husband’s house to divorce him, much as I love my cat and hated to have to leave her behind, we both knew the idea of pet custody/visitation/support arrangements would’ve been preposterous.
But he had a different ex before me who kept finding lame excuses to interfere in his life. She needed to get a life and back off! I was miserable.
Lovely coloured top on you today. Great advice thanks
Thank you very much!
My boyfriend lives with his ex wife
He allowed her to stay with him and their kids when she was in an abusive relationship and in danger. But she has never moved out, and he won't push the issue. I trust that nothing is going on between them, but her time at home dictates when I can see him, and it drives me crazy. I want to marry this man someday, but I more often feel like the mistress than his girlfriend. I would never recommend to anyone to be in this situation, because you will sit around being heartbroken and wondering if you will ever be anything more than a part-time lover. It is not an easy position. 😢
Absolutely not tolerable!!
It's really pushing th boundaries of acceptability. Worse yet; often times people who do these things insist that the new mate who's bothered by this inappropriate behavior is the one at fault- they are insecure, neurotic, and reactive.
This stinks to high hell. If she only stays over once a week, they could be having sex! I'd run fast and far. Would not pass Go and not collect $200! The number of manipulators out there is insanely high. Thank you for being so kind and wise, Susan! LOVE and big HUGS!
thanks Lisa!
Run forest run.!!!😂
Adorable! Yes, that's the right advice
So nice
Sometimes not being able to stop thinking about an ex is a sign for us that we may be missing something in our relationship and aren't even aware of it. That doesn't mean that the ex is better. But we need to be honest with ourselves, and then communicate with our current partner our needs. When we have our needs fulfilled, the thoughts will disappear.
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Ooof that's a hard situation especially when your still seeing them. My 'ex' got married so that really hurt me but she changed for the worst and didn't meet my expectations so use this that it's best I'm not with her. Never seen her on social media as she doesn't have it plus thankfully haven't bumped into her yet outside.
Its not easy but time is the best healers. Been over a year hearing about her being with this guy in her family she married but know I wouldn't be happy with her after what she's done
RUN - RUN FAST - RUN FASTER !!!! DON'T LOOK BACK
Love your work! Sending love from across the pond ❤️
🤗 🙏 👋🏻 Much love back at you!
Similar territory to wanting to date potential person but I’m still in contact with my ex since we have a kid together. It’s hard breaking out of the mindset that he has this monopoly over my love life now and I honestly just want to move on and be with someone one day but I’m not sure I’ll ever get that chance…
I know it’s possible - but the confidence of a person has to be high and it’s not
dated a guy last year, that couldnˋt stop talking about his ex and on the third date was looking on his phone and told me that there is this spicy fold with naked pictures of her and laughed… this was horrible ugh
Yes it seeps through, even if the other ex is free, its awful!!!! His ex is like one of the ugly stepsisters.
Omg so well put !! 😂 that is EXACTLY the deal
" Just because there is a potential for a partner in them , you do not want them to be the partner " ...
damn , Susan .. you must copyright this stuff :)))))))
I can recommend you of a man who can help bring your ex back within 24-hour. 💞💞💞💞
What sap him**
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Much appreciated!!
It can be very difficult to distinguish if someone's over their ex ( or their ex is over them) ive found personally.
They aren’t over one another and she isn’t pretty anymore
Run run run
Not many people talk about the incompetent ex partner that is still in your life, this would be very helpful to those who are still in the process of separation & divorce. Partner is mentally abusive but more physically, so there’s no way you can just move forward with life without little bit repetitive stress caused by an incompetent ex partner because both parties share the same child (ren).
the weirdest!!! I would definitely feel like the 3rd wheel that's ready to fall off.
They probably have happy hour after work and get too inebriated to drive home😂😂😂😂😂
I just left a relationship it left me recked. Completely toxic. Soul ties do so much to us. I was walking with Jesus for a long time so close and had so much joy, happiness and peace. I went for temporary love thinking he is it. Temporary things never bring happiness. I will tell u that the happiest I ever was was when I surrendered my life to Jesus Andean from all sin. He in return gave me live. He is so real and we need him so much
Joy, sorry about the scam artists here. ignore anyone who tells you to call a number
@@SusanWinter it's ok no worries ♥️♥️
I probably get worse tryna rely on a god who never helped or replied than I do with a bf who is in love with his ex
So funny CARLA EXIT, EXIT😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤
Oh hell no, I’d run fast af in the other direction! Let’s not pretend they’re not f*****g.. come on 😒
It’s so gross
Get out
Ummmm, I’m sorry but several understatements here. I know each situation is different, but I don’t believe in sugar coating the obvious.
Also, the writer needs to admit to herself that this isn’t about being understanding and concise. She is asking herself where her boundary should be. IT SHOULD BE AT A BIG NO!! Many of us here, I’m sure, can figure this one out!!!! Seriously!!!!
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Jeez... They're cheating on you. Get out NOW. Take care.
What a headache..
Also if you are a public figure, do you see a partner representing me & making me look truly good and healthy when i want to lets say run for office. Your family status is very important. My father was running for office & lost because of well certain things unclear. Its not okay about this. Like having an idiot gain more power
my boyfriend have child with ex she is manipulative dont know what to do