The Trap of Compassion: When Narcissists Play the Child Card
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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2023
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Narcs take all the best things in the world-kindness, compassion, love, empathy, hope- and twist it into something dark and cruel.
You're right! Because outside they pretend they want all those things. And then mimick those feelings, like parrots. But inside, they are shallow dark holes, who take pleasure in trickery.
That's the definition of evil
way deep
Absolutely!
Because Satan is their father!
I became totally "trapped" for years and years by someone's sob story. Don't listen to them - it will waste your life.
Me too.
It's wasting their own life too. You just aren't obligated to save them.
Me too. Too many years. Childhood parental template. How sad not to have known sooner. How could I have known better though
Don't blame yourself, my sister has a team of people telling her, it makes no difference, she stays anyway its trauma bonding there is nothing you can do they are brainwashed.@@beyondthecocun8638
Luckily, only 6 years wasted here, but unfortunately I have to "co-parent" now for several more.
Too much damn evil in this world. Where are the good people?
Paralyzed by sob stories.
Yes, I have met some evil people but I also believe there are more good people than evil people.
@@T.C.Bronart I'm sorry to say that if you think that then unfortunately you're still naive about the realities of evil in this world.
@@markusfreund6961 there's some truth to this. Because that's exactly how I feel... paralyzed!
Doing their work in the Shadows until the Lord emerges ...
Your compassion can be weaponized against you by a psychopath or a narcissist, don't fall for this charade!!
Bullshit. Regular people manipulate them right back. Especially the rich manipulating narcissists. You people are not innocent victims in the slightest.
Can and WILL be without a doubt!
They weaponize a lot of things. They seek out weaknesses. Their listening skills are very selective in that they only hear what they can use in a self-serving manner. Misery loves company.
They often will say, " You just don't listen." Translation, their not getting their way. All conversations with one are circular in a game of premeditated manipulation designed to make you question yourself (a part of their process of trauma bonding).
Our clousure, having gone through the fire, we are much better at listening to our instincts and upholding our boundaries. That is a power that they fear. Not only are they pathicalogical liars, but they live their lives as a lie. Nothing or no one is ever enough. They are their own special kind of karma.
@@resilient8788🙏🏽
They pissed the bed and blamed the blanket. Got that from the irish doc. Hes on point.
Perfect gaslighting!
Turn into an electric blanket?
@jessie.juxtapose that extra steamy piss smell is still the blankets fault. There's just no way round it
😅
Most narcs have Peter Pan syndrome refusing to grow up
My narc was so incensed his parents dared to have another child he took everything he had to be angry about on different members of his family. His claims that he was beaten badly were, in fact, him beating those family members. His parents refused to institutionalize him and his psychotic tendencies. The path was of lives he’s destroyed his entire life are mostly littered with women and children. All beaten, maimed & financially destroyed with one child raped. Narcissists need to be institutionalized as soon as they are diagnosed!!
@@lisarice4402 I had a cousin who was extremely abused, became a malignant narc/ pill /meth addict from a back injury and absolutely left a trail of wreckage of people places and things before departing this earth in a 3rd and final horrific car crash the justice and legal medical field needs a complete shift and overhaul to deal with this crisis. praying for you and family
I lost 12 years of my life the same exact way . Trying to save and help a poor pitiful person who was covertly trying to destroy me the whole time . They get away with it so long cuz they act so helpful and dumb and ignorant and incapable of anything but it’s just meant to drain your energy and distract you
Yes!!
I lost 20 years. Wish all this information about narcissists was available years ago. But, sure helps me make decisions now.❤😊
Hope you had no real child with this person. That's the worst. Have a good life now! 🙏
Yeah 20...me too... but im grateful for the three wonderful boys i have, that by the way i learned i did not give to him but he to me 😂
Oh god you re right
Oh my gosh!!! Like if you leave they won't eat or know how to breathe air, LMAO!!! 😂😂😂😂
Spot on!
I eventually faced the reality that he was a full-grown man, and I got so angry!
That anger was a blessing because it gave me the energy and resolve to leave and never look back 🎉
I had an ex tell me a sob story, just like he always did. Crying, etc. I told him to deal with it, I wasn’t interested. (He looked absolutely gorgeous, in a $1000 fur lined jacket. I was tempted.) His demeanor changed in a flash. Just evil. And he abruptly got up and left without a word. Never heard from him again.
Is this sick? I felt great doing it.
Good for you, lol!!!😂😂😂😂😂🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏✌✌✌✌✌
Sick of you? No way, very smart and successfull.
Sick of him, to change that quick in someone evil? Absolutely.
So true - both hardcore narcissists that I've lived with told me their "sad story". And I reciprocated to that as to the invitation for relationships, and didn't understand (on that time) why tens of others around know that stories but simply don't pay too much attention to these poor ones. Now I now why - they were smarter than me with active sense of self-defense, and I was mentally weak and arrogant enough to think that I can "save" them. So, 11 years and both of them destroyed me inside out, one left me with a child, another drained me awfully, beat me and left scars (real ones), and I lost my growing professional career. Note: one of them was a woman, so indeed, narcissists have similar tactics regardless of biological sex.
is anyone who tells you a sad story is a narcissist? many people tell sad stories. Many people also drink water. All narcissists who I know, drink water. So true
@@Wasp239Don't be so smug. She said she was physically abused. Labels aside, she experienced abuse and who knows what else. We can abandon the narcissist term and replace it with "toxic" or "abuser", how's that for you?
@@Wasp239 Tell us you don't have an actual counterargument without telling us you don't have an actual counterargument.
I had seen my mother achieve impossible things with her manipulation...I knew she would be fine and carry on as she always had. I still felt tremendous guilt and shame leaving her, some was the trauma she put in me and the rest was based mainly on other people's opinions specifically those of my family. I went no contact and went through the hell fire and now I am finally healing and moving towards thriving for the first time in my life...completely worth it 😎
True. Evil comes disguised as good and pretending to be a victim is the perfect trap a predator constructs. Devil always comes pretending to be Angel of light and friend of humanity.
Amen to that.
Amen
Incredible. The stuff I learn about how my relationships worked (and screwed my personal life) is mind boggling. I wish I’d understood this 20 years ago when it was time.
It’s heartbreaking to understand that the thing I thought was good: compassion, self-sacrifice, support… are the very things that were leveraged against me at every turn. It’s amazing there’s anything but psychopaths on this planet when you realize anyone who isn’t one is basically cattle for the rest.
Wow. Truth.😢
Yup.
Don't let them, play on your empathy.💯💯💯 I feel that
"Sob story" - yes, this is exactly what it is.
They were always the "victim".
At some point i wondered how that is statistically possible.
And then it becamw clear: these are fantasy stories to evoke my compassion - they were NOT real
Absolutely. My ex ended up getting a woman pregnant he adamantly said he would never date. He knew her for three months, knew me for 25 years (had also told me he couldn't have kids, said by his doctor). I found out after a year of no contact. She took their son and her other kids out of state and he played the jilted daddy. He'd send screenshots to show how toxic she was and it was HIM that looked terrible, she said he was a deadbeat and was going to get the courts involved. I found out later he was also dating a THIRD woman that he'd told me he'd broken up with months before. The audacity is unreal.
That's exactly how I became trapped. It worked. He was always the bird with the broken wing. It took me months to deprogram myself after I divorced him. I'm not stupid by any means. But, I was empathetic to a lie. Narcissists are grade A liars.
Richard, I love when you talk from experience. You lived it and you know it. I wish you had been there to teach me then. He hoped I would die right in front of him.
That's how my narcissist half siblings are.... They act like they are lost in this world without me... Like their world is going to take a nose dive if i leave. But treat me right.... No way.
“You know who else had a sob story? Ted Bundy.” Sorry I laughed - hard! Thank you
So sick of sob stories that I now wear a shirt that just says "NO" and I put a "NO." sign on my front door --it works great!
100% truth. Thank you,Richard, for expressing it so succinctly and directly.
Predatory personality types…according to the legal guidelines that are required to be met in order to charge someone with a crime is intent…how are these people able to commit crimes and victimize people without consequences. If someone intentionally tries to cause harm in any way by whatever means they can but in a covert way that can eventually be proven…then why does the law say it’s not illegal for someone to do this crap to others….there’s an injured party and intent…they gain assets and status by causing harm to their victims…leaving them penniless and alone with no support…and do so by means of conniving and fraud…we really need to get the laws and the people who work in law knowledgeable about this problem…but I have a feeli that most in those professions are narcissistic people as well
My ex would send me pictures of him as a little boy to tug at my heart strings after telling me all the abuse he suffered
That he caused in the first place - they have no understanding of cause and effect.
so strange...mine too. The very first days we met, he told me about a phisical injury that occoured to him and then he started to send me pics of his childhood. We were almost strangers and it seemed awkward to me but also sweet and that became my weakness. After four years of being used and abused, I'm still there.
Mine claimed that - until I dug deeper & got testimony from family members. He beat the tar out of his own father & a few family members, his coach, & every girlfriend he had. I suspected he did the same to his mother & sister, but neither would say. Be very careful of what they say, because there are tiny scraps of truth behind it - just not what they claim.
@@lisarice4402 Yes! He wasn't capable to foolish me altogether because I understand his game from the beginning. I've been his sidechick for a while after all, how could I possibly believe him?! Nevertheless I felt in love...😓
The dots are finally connecting…thank you!
Worse when it's your parent
Soo much worse.
Oh stop Mr. Grannon. They had their ego stoked by feeling powerful and in control. They enjoyed feeling as if someone was smaller than them. Until they weren't anymore then they got pissed off.
my husband, 14 years also learned me in with his victim sob story… end it really did make me want to save him and give him the love. He never got from his mother 14 years later I figured out he’s a covert narcissist, and he turned on me like never before..
Same happen to me 😢
Very true! I escaped that trap because Your videos have educated me. Thank you so much!!
OMG! This is how my husband lured me in. How did this happen?
You were probably like me a over the top empath like me and thought you could fix them with the love and kindness you have and bring light into their darkness like me and probably felt obligated to stay that's the trap I've been in. I had his childhood problems spun out for many years . I felt bad for. But over the years he had become his abusive mother in everyway himself . What he would describe in detail how she was to him violence. Controlling etc . He became that. So I had two personalities to deal with . But now getting away from soon. Sending you hugs
I'm getting the message loud and clear. The violin is playing for the wrecking ball.
Exactly what happened to me. Im not alone.
His delivery is great. The Ted reference made me laugh. I've realised I've spent over ten years in relationships with narcs although there was also my Dad as the first. I realise my ex presented himself as the victim but I projected what i was onto him. I needed saving so that's what I'm finally doing. Damn I'm so sad I'm almost 50 and only seeing this now. That really hurts.
I love this point. I’ve noticed that a lot. For me now, a potential mate/friend is one category (which requires more maturity and reciprocation) and a charity case is another category (which is always optional and at my discretion and won’t be capable of the former). Never the Twain shall meet. I’ve been saying this now for months on end. So validating. Lol. And yah. Ted Bundy always comes to mind for me as well. But esp a grown ass man toward a female regarding typical male things. Bruh. Be a real man and get your own car fixed. I ain’t ya momma. 🙄 At this stage in my life it’s such a turn off tho. Baby boys who need a mama. Ugh. No. 🤮. I already raised a real child. I don’t need another. At this point they’d test me and just see me rolling my eyes at them. Lol.
💯 accurate
Don’t fall for the manipulation
OH MY GOD!! THIS IS SPOT ON!! He would try to gain sympathy by talking about his ex fiance!
I have had this done to me to trap me and make me feel sorry to trap me emotions because woman are nuturing and emotional so this is how they trap us
Boom! My Narcy told me several times, I wish I had a mother like you, I wish I knew what I was dealing with 🙈
He still playing victim texting and demanding attention.
This time I know … I got a BS detector on my pocket.
The trigger for me to fall in love - I see the vulnerability.
Thankfullly my ex went to live with his mommy.. Narc Always finds a backup or new Supply..
I dealt with one that told me he “needed help” he said he needed help being a better person. Turned out what he really needed help with was destroying my mental health. I am now 2 months clean yall! Pray for me and may God bless each and everyone of us on the journey to recovery.
Works on judges, too. Judge feels protective. Judge feels you should be protective, instead of oppositional, when that’s why you’re in court, in the first place. Judge extends case, so defendant can continue trampling over your life.
The hell started when i reaslised i needed to get out, at around 3 month's. Told her and she already knew the hooks. "You cant leave me, my dad has just died." I eventually escaped. I still find it incredible how they can be so well defined
I copied the link to this short on my notes so I can come back and watch it whenever …👍👍👍
This is so true.
So freaking true. The narc I got rid of was being evaluated for psychopathy because I begged him to get evaluated and every time a psych suggested a cluster B personality he always made an excuse not to go back. I now think he may have already been given a diagnosis in the past and just didn't want me to know what he had. He always played the victim to anyone within ear shot. It took me twenty years and a lot of therapy to understand and believe I was being played like a fiddle. They're HIGHLY manipulative people.
The voice of common sense, reason, and damn strong healthy boundaries. 😊 I love this man!
Just leave...And if they are throwing a tantrum when you do, you tell them that their feelings don't count! Bye😂
sounds like you are a narcissist or psychopath yourself
Easy to do IF they haven’t already ripped you off and become friendly with law enforcement. You really are on your own when it comes to these types of individuals.
@lisarice4402 I get what your saying. I was ripped off by a grandiose narc. When I confronted them, they denied everything and just talked up a strom about themselves. "The me monster." They even had the nerve to say..."If I wanted to steal from you I would, but I don't" To me the was an admission of guilt and entitlement. They knew what they took had value and where it was. I was standing close by when they made a comment about it to someone prior to all this. I guess I should of thought like them and removed the stuff. But this was before what I've learned about narcissist. We just really need to manage are emotions. Or these empty pathological liars will love to see us destroyed. I've known this person for quite awhile and how they operate, but now I can put a label on them. I have proof that the narc does not know about. The time will come when I will be telling them, "I may look stupid, but I am far from it." Narcs can be pure evil. Avoid them as much as you can if possible.
They say that curiosity killed the cat. I say that sympathy killed the cat (in relation to video). I've used up half of my nine lives and I'm not giving up any more of those. Signing off, a proverbial male cat (and a Peter Criss fan!)
They use your best qualities against you.
Richard, do they or do they not feel abandoned when you leave them? The answer will help me in litigation.
Good question ❤
They simply find another prey (or already did, because they do that pretty shortly after drawing you into).
@@-Mitra-NO! INCORRECT! THEY HAVE BACKUPS AND OTHER PREY MORE INTRESTING THAN YOU READY AND AVAILABLE 99% OF THE TIME OTHERWISE YOU WOULD NOT SEE THE REAL THEM YET
@@michelleauker1162 that's exactly what I meant - they start looking for the substitute pretty soon after starting relationships with you, because this "dance macabre" is aimed at closing the childhood gestalt pattern formed due growing up with their "dead mother": attract, approach, avoid, detach, individuade, dispose.
This is the dark and diabolical truth! And ir's why many times, the victims in crime stories are lovable women who everyone loves.
Yup… 11 years lost to the sob story and victim complex
Even worse: "Nice guys" that don't have a PD envy narcs and psychopathic players and do the same and worse. Never ever go for a man with a sob story, they'll just kick you.
I was trapped my entire adult life until my daughter married and left home ... sob stories AND he would even create scenarios... self- injury .... nuts-o- coo-coo ! I sure wish I had a brother !
Oh! Slightly bent! But safe! 33+ years time to just do me! Richard Grannon every bit of your wisdom are pearls of wisdom Thank You 🙏🤓🥹💥
Well and clear spoken
We can forgive and well-wish and EXIT THE DANGER AND DESTRUCTION .
This happened to me. He's still out there after brain washing me, I had Stockholm syndrome and it was horrible to get myself back after making it out
I did leave tho, 18 yrs later. he was like a 4 y o. You read when I type, Richard? I didnt know my story was the same as others. 😑❤
Yep. And I'm a sucker.
Had to much empathy like me. I became trapped in mine for many years. With his childhood problems and over the years he became like his own abusive mother in a violent way. But waking and getting away from it soon . seeing it in a different light to what I use to see it . Being on this channel helped me see it differently.
Not a sucker- just compassionate and empathetic. Desirable qualities when shared with the right person!
All I have known since I was 18!
This is how one of the worst relationships and times of my life started. I entirely blamed myself for all of it happening because I stayed and then, being entirely honest, got toxic myself. Being aware of that even a little bit was one of the worst parts, knowing I became that way. I could use the whole “reactive abuse” thing yet the majority of me just doesn’t even want to give myself that pass…so hard on myself. I do think “reactive abuse”was an element. I’m just very careful about that coming off like I’m using it as an excuse and I haven’t even looked into it much yet, it just stuck out to me when I heard that but it did make me feel cautious because I can see how it totally can be used as a pass for more shit behavior. Accountability feels much better than anything outside of that even if it hurts. I still do blame myself sometimes. I look at my parts in it and still put the brunt of the load on myself. I thought I’d forever feel immense shame, guilt, embarrassment and like I had to hide. Broken. Tormented.
I left him after 2 years. He then stalked me at my home in the middle of the woods (that he was pissed about me moving into as he stated I’ll just hole up over there, wonder why buddy), always acted different and much more irritable when still together and he was there at my new home, and then after leaving him he left hints of him being out on the property close to the house as well as tried to make me look like HIM to my own family…
After making it clear I was done and out I asked for my very recently deceased grandfathers clothes back. I was told no. He later decided to return them to me after I told him ya know what forget it you can have it 😑😑🤦🏻♀️🫠 Guess he realized he didn’t want to look bad for that…ohhhh the precious narcissist ego…so, I then told him to drop them off up the road. He did not like that at all (shocker) so he then reached out to family stating he was going to do just that because I felt like a threat to him. That he didn’t feel safe around me. It was my grandmother of all people that he texted this too. Nice, target the one who seems most naive and sweet 😑😑 Looking back I can’t help but wish I would’ve felt like a true threat to him in the way he felt to me. I’m less than half his size. Such an asshole.
I was on 130-160 something acres. A few days after I officially cut it with him something told me to go for a walk on the long winding trails. I was struggling so bad I could hardly function and never felt like doing shit as I was pretty much always in a nervous system break down yet, I followed that urge that day. Fresh new fallen snow everywhere and some BIG foot prints that I knew were his as NOBODY that would even be out there had as big of feet as him. My guy neighbor was actually the one who noticed it. I tried to rationalize it in the moment and think of anyone or any boot it could be. My neighbor was like “no man, it’s not my footprints or any boots I own, it’s definitely not yours soooooo wtf” lol….
I called anyone who might be out there. Nobody was. I also found a newer-ish looking pack of smokes laying IN THE MIDDLE of the trail not too far from the footprints we’d found days earlier. A snow storm had just come through for days. It would’ve been trashed if it were there for a little bit. We (as in crazy pants and I) also were not in that area anytime soon before that as I had cut it off for probably a couple weeks at that point maybe a bit more. The cigarettes were also a unique brand of cigarettes that nobody I knew besides him smoked.
I remember nights I felt unusually haunted and paranoid seemingly out of nowhere. Watching the windows until my tormented head could fall asleep. I didn’t like being awake yet I also didn’t necessarily want to sleep. Constantly wired, tired and fried. All I wanted was to feel safer and more calm in my body and mind. I have worked so hard and diligently to create that for myself now…
Anywho, I know I felt him out there. And why would he leave it all in the middle of the trails if he didn’t want me to see it? The cig pack was BRIGHT blue (American Spirits). I thought okay well maybe he’s out of his mind (obviously) and was hammered and sloppy not realizing he left this behind for me to see…but he was still out there regardless. And I do feel leaving things behind was intentional for multiple reasons. The way he was growingly acting and the look in his eyes especially. I just couldn’t believe he’d go to that level at first. With time passed, decompression, reflection and self care had, I see it now and go yeah…that DEFINITELY happened. My gut knew it. So many flashes of his behavior and what some people said about him started to flood my brain and I connected the dots. I don’t typically listen to what others have to say about ppl in a negative manner but this did feel different. As if my brain was helping to lead me to clarity, answers and healing. I remembered one time how “I feel like you’re the kind who’s like if I can’t have you nobody can” blurted out of my mouth. We were sitting at the table with my aunt and she said something like “wow how full of yourself”. Of course It made me feel so egotistically stupid but that thought fell out of my mouth before I even knew it and again, looking back I’m like girl…ya sensed it… 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I asked for help setting up cameras around the property after these findings. I remember someone saying “are you sure you need to do this?”…the point there is I know how hard it can be to walk through something like this, alone. Then when people question it and maybe say something like that…it can make you feel more embarrassment, shame etc. and second guess yourself after already feeling insane, awful and going against yourself amidst the abuse confusion…
He would break down in hysterical tears when I tried to say early on that I couldn’t be with him. Who desires to be with someone that says they don’t want to be with you? I’m not trying to be mean here it just doesn’t add up to me. I’ve never truly wanted another who I knew did not want me. It hurts of course but damn…but I then felt awful and responsible for helping this person even though I did not feel good around them. I’ll be very honest again and say that sometimes I did not put it in the nicest way. I was very blunt at a certain point but it was like having a damn infectious monkey on my back that I already knew would fight us parting. Which should’ve told me to run even more. I didn’t. I abandon myself and stayed. The resentment and toxicity grew. I kept trying to leave over and over and almost every time it was like watching a 5 year olds total break down OR, the ice cold narcissistic act which didn’t last long ever. It got darker and darker. Major over drinking and suicide became a thing…I was going to say “eventually” but looking back it started so early on. I cannot believe I stayed yet of course I see how it happens. Yet I have a great intuition AND had JUST gotten OUT of a “relationship” with what is totally more of a covert narcissist 🤯😵💫Unbelievable…🫠 🫠
Funny too as just the other day I got an email from him. No apology just “hey you and your family have been on my mind and wanted to pass that blessing along. Might be awkward to hear from me but wanted to pass this and you guys modeled some great family values. Best wishes!” WHAT????? 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ I sat there with it like okay what is this really about? Not sincere and I realized some reasons why he might be doing that. Twisted motives. Sometimes I still second guess and go “maybe he’s not that after all or anymore…maybe it IS all my fault…” etc. but that’s probably just the aftermath rearing its ugly head still. I know I played parts in this yet I also know I am not that kind of human, heart or soul. It’s tough still sometimes…
Listen to your gut. Listen to that whisper if it’s quiet. Do NOT abandon how you feel in situations, especially if it’s resonant with this. I hope this somehow helped somebody. Love,
-Charlie
ABSOLUTELY 💯!!! He kept calling me MA!!!.... I left anyway😊
Good lord, this is accurate.
I was falling for this too many times. All you tell them they use against you. From intimate extortion to twisting simple thing you told them to narcishnikov against you.. Don't tell them anything!
This is the first time I have a vital piece to the puzzle of the how, when and where.
My bf never had a "sobstory". He was brought up to never ever talk about his father's abusive and narcistic behaviour. The shame. That damaged him beyond compare, more than the abuse itself: not being able to share it with anyone.
The part of the vulnerable child is spot on though.
I feel like I have been living for 15+ years with a 15 year old. And the reason why I haven't kicked him out yet, is exactly that feeling. That he will not be able to cope.
But hey: his choice!! I told him again and again what I wanted and needed from someone I live with. He didn't react. Awful behaviour for 13 years. The screaming and shouting at me that finally gave ME PTSD.
I'm a nervous wreck in my own house. Never know when he'll be coming or going, in what state of mind or intoxication.
YES!!!! TB always had a Ruse. GREAT Analogy👍
So true! I've seen a few of types try to feed me a sob story. It's so interesting they believe it so much then I find someone who knows them and I see the other side of the story.
Thank you Richard!! I think you just saved me from buying into his sob story!! I’ve sensed, at times, that it’s a test. Now I know. I feel stronger and smarter!! Bless you!!🙏😌
That's deep.
I recently noticed how the past narcissists would always have a sob story to tell you, they seem to all have that in common.
Not the narc I was involved with. He was jealous even from our first date when he saw me talking to my gay hairdresser. Then rushed intimacy, he was a sex fiend. Then confessed he thought I was rich...this explains why he backed off when he realised that, that wasn't the case but still visited me for sex and hoped I'd launch him in the modelling world. It was constantly me feeding his ego and being depleted financially. He did complain of his parents fighting and Dad pressuring him to work in the family business but no real sob stories. Much later I read his posts on his fb and I saw that from his young teen years he disrespected women and used them. He hated women. Then all those illuminati devil signs they do... there's much more. I can now see a demon in his pic...oh well you get the picture....
Omg! Exactly what I needed to hear. I’m dealing with two narcissists at the same time . One female “ frienemy” that’s relentless. She is acts evil , but then desperate for my attention. I have been getting panic attacks bc of the guilt I feel . I couldn’t pin point why! Is this “ I feel like I am abandoning a child “ and therefore that I am being a bad person . Ughhhh! I want to stop searching for this kinds of videos one day!
Thank you. Thank you
I’m still not 100% if I am with one. But on our first date, he told me how his drunk step dad kicked him out of home, and his mum didn’t do anything about it.
Run. Trust your instincs!!
Trust has to be earned.
The trap after knowing I'd lost my Beautiful Brave little boy Joe.
Don't leave me I've got terminal brain cancer! No way out....
All A Big Black Lie 😔
Thank you for shedding so much light on my present situation.
I seem to be immune to narcicistic people. I rarely care or even understand why its a sob story. Ive either had worse and im fine. Or its laughable. To me. I score quite highly on the sociopathy scale. Maybe the kryptonite of a narcicist is a sociopath.
True. Discernment is key.
Oh my god this is genius, and I need to teach my sons this…… The “testing” part…..not the “luring and trapping” part…😳😳🤔😘😂😂😂😉
But it may backfire. I'm suoer empathetic, but NOW I'll never give a man sympathy again for this very reason! I would assume he's looking for a target. All smart girls would be on the lookout.
I would not advice teaching this to your son. It's manipulation
Maybe teach him to be an honorable honest loyal compassionate man
Maybe If/when they came to me for help. I tyoed another message you tube deleted it.
@@AlehaDarabakayea it feels not right to me
I was so deep in saving him that he left us 3 times in 3 different ways and i still agreed to keep the relationship going. (Moved to a rental room bc of his drinking, then Stayed away first lockdown, broke promise to return after rehab) HE would never walk away. Fully.
"Aw that's so sad..... GET A THERAPIST". 😁
And my ex wife , ! Thank You ! A important piece of the puzzle !
Yep, my parents instilled this in me that now I can see I'm not attracted to men that don't need me to take care of everything for them.
I'd never encountered this in somebody until our first date. I never imagined that someone could conjure this. But he had.
Yikes! Yes he did that
Oh these assholes.can cope. All psychopaths are narcissists. Not all narcissists are psychopaths. They all fake cry when they want to weasel out of cheating on you or getting caught doing anything. If you don't fall for their sob story, sometimes they see destroying you as a challenge and still try to date you.
more than that, they also gaslight themselves as if they are forgiven by saying that
He made that history, and became his mother. Feeding til after 10 years I'm empty.
Thats exactly how i felt with my first husband.
Yeah, this makes sense. She was a poor little delicate flower who was trying to find love but had chowen bad men who mistreated her. She just wanted to feel love. And I fell for it. It was the reason I didnt leave earlier, Compassion...
Wow! I'm subscribing! Thanks for delivering this in a way I can understand!
It’s a sad state of affairs that we have to embody psychopathic traits in order to deal with these muppets. It’s exhausting. Every time I see the word narcissist I want to vomit up my A.H.
Stair lifts.
They drive me up the wall.
Wow. This hot home. I often felt my soon to be ex wife was the glue holding our family together. I put off leaving her because I felt I needed her. I then realised she’s a 56 year old child. She told me how having to do everything for herself really scares her and how she doesn’t know she will cope, how she’s useless with money and so on. Looking back to when we first got together she hooked me very early on by telling me things like “you’re only with me until something better comes along” and stories of how she’d been in abusive relationships before. I felt I had to prove to her I’d protect her snd never leave her. She showered me with amazing sex but after we were married she weaponised it and used it as a way to control me by stopping it. So many things are coming up it’s shocking.
So true. So very true.
I was tested and passed the test 😂😂, thats how i was trapped. Now i understand. But i broke free 😅
This is very true...
But it also makes people your lecture protects those who are vulnerable to being victimized by sociopaths and narcissists...
However it also makes people... Max compassion toward those who actually deserve compassion. Not everybody with the sob story is a Narcissist...
I’ve met people who definitely hid behind their legitimate trauma: their whole persona being tied up in a survivor story. Only, they're not particularly nice or compassionate people….or they're blind to their own shadow. Not quite Bundy, but definitely manipulative… exploitative at worst.
We're all encouraged to lean into victimhood nowadays, so it's more common to see yourself as a maligned, helpless person. That can lead to a lot of entitled, disordered bahaviour.
and then people who deal with them hide behind their new trauma and get rid off of all responcibility as if they are not grown adults themselves.
It’s a cycle of wankery, for sure. @@Wasp239
Powerful video
So true!!! I study criminal behavior and Ted Bundy us the perfect example for this