So many years I tried to ignore it. Even when she told me with her own words. I guess I didn't belive, I've always tried to see the good in people. That's the reason I was targeted.
Palpitations, dermatitis, extreme insomnia (something i never dealt with before this relationship), acid reflux, weight fluctuations, depression, anxiety, and the list goes on. Time to find the way out of this maddening maze.
@@mamadoom9724 Narcs literally make people ill. And then discard the person who’s got health issues as a result of the stress of being with them. Hope you can get yourself free and begin the healing. ❤️🩹
I have fibromyalgia, reproductive issues, an autoimmune disease, frequent headaches, armoured muscle tension, constant fatigue and feel burn out no matter how much I sleep…
They're definitely split, fragmented, and dissociated but they sure can switch it on or off like a light switch when someone else unexpectedly appears on the scene. My x could go from raging psycho monster to charming, calmer than a cucumber when the cops appeared. What a GIG!!
You're exactly spot on about being able to follow the switch up through a text thread. And personally in my case, I wouldn't even have to respond to anything, he would quite literally be texting with himself, going from fighting mode (devaluation) to fawning mode (love bombing) without a single response from me, and it would go on for hours and days. Also it is this very thing that forced me back into reality. I was able to look at all the endless text messages from him and clearly recognize that he's fighting and fawning his own ego. I wasn't needed and it was NEVER about me. Once you're able to recognize and understand that truth you're healing from it will become easier. I love you guys! Stay strong 🤍
Aren't the text threads INSANE? I get anxiety even reading old ones so I'm able to process the persistent never ending fights, always the same fights, totally circular, never a resolution but it's literally him going in this circle where he attacks, devalues, then gaslights, then plays the victim, then rationalizes, etc etc. It's so crazy. And responding to it just makes it continue. What sucks is there's never any resolution. That's what really drives me crazy. He's delusional. Richard is right, there's no normal adult conversation. I experience that "lunacy" all the time. I feel crazy.
His text messages used to give me anxiety attacks. I used to not even be able to open my MSG's ..the anxiety it caused me was crazy. Once I learnt to not respond to the MSG's at all ..well the relationship started to die . The weird thing was he used to text me when we were in the same house! He had no time to talk to me but endless time to text. Toxic, toxic texts. I never get sick. Haven't even got a GP and don't even keep a headache tablet in my house. Yet while with him I kept getting colds and flu constantly.
These responses are so spot on, i always had anxiety and thought something was wrong with me, see my mother was a narcissist, so i was groomed from a child, and i have been a narc magnet all my life, and omg, those text msg's wil literally drive you crazy, if you let them, i learned to just ignore them too, and it definitely saved my sanity, but overtime it will affect your health in some way, just being around these energy vampires❤
Just had it happen to me, it felt like hey, here are some toys lets have fun! When i was finally trusting and having fun he just took them away literally as though i overstayed my welcome...
Oh wow, I've had eczema for 13 years on my nose that I could not get rid of. Almost a week after I left the 13 year narcissistic relationship, the inflammation just disappeared.
I ended up with autoimmune thyroiditis due to the malignant narc I was married to. This was from 1969 to 1990 when I divorced him. I've still got the thyroid disorder and weight issues, hair loss, insomnia and more, but I am working on it all.
I didn't correlate the two , wow! weight loss, pulse off the charts, goiter, graves disease ect... I went into a thyroid storm. Not realizing the severity of it at the time...I've had my thyroid removed now, I'd say it's 1 of the worst things I've ever been through to be honest... anywho enough of my waffle , I hope you're feeling tons better , hang on in there lovely 💞
Extreme eczema and skin allergies, severe rheumatoid arthritis. I had both before meeting the narcissist partner, but they flared up to debilitating levels. It was during the pandemic so I attributed it to the stress of lockdown and losing my job. Over and over I B hear stories of folks who develop these conditions through involvement with narcissistic abusers. I’m almost one year out and still struggling.
I think i experienced the split personality when they didn’t remember some of the toxic things they said to me in the rage moments. It was bizarre. Either that or just really effective gas lighting.
Watch police bodycam videos. During an arrest, you watch this in real time. Especially if they're drinking. They're laughing and mocking the cop, then suddenly crying and pretending to need medical attention, then suddenly they're kicking and threatening to kill the cop, then suddenly crying and howling because "I can't go to jail what about my kid don't you care about my kid ??!" They switch in minutes.
You don’t need to be a narcissist to have a drunk and disorderly episode. Let’s not also forget how many cops have been exposed for winding people up when they think they’re not being filmed.
Autoimmune disease here too. Our Mitochondria can't run hot for years and not run out of resources and start flipping on and off our systems trying to stay running. I lost 5ft of my gut when I was married to an NPD psycho for 15 years. Even with my most recent ex, I couldn't be around any heavy electrical grid without having massive nerve pain and demylenation and fatigue. I kept ignoring what I know I shouldn't have, and it was burning me out again, despite being basically a pro at health and biohacking. We can't out kale or out meditate ignoring our own internal compass. In related news, I find NPD-trending peeps really don't like Richard Grannon 😂.
My dad created a narcissistic family cult. My earliest memories are him being arrested and sent to a mental hospital. His diagnoses were Capgras syndrome and psychopathy, two intertwined, major delusional disorders. Inside the family, he bragged of killing two or more people, stealing princely sums from drug traffickers, and rising in their ranks. Outside the family, he represents himself as a simple accountant who wrote a book about integrity and stalking bad guys. The whole family worships him, while being obsessed with me, “because you are so stupid, you believe in the Ten Commandments.” A funny thing he used to say is, “Robin Hood was a jerk because he gave the money back.”
Fear is the emotion in the dog which causes both submission & attack. Gentle leadership is the key - he wants to be in the new pack but doesn't know his place . I learnt so much from a lady called Jan Fennel known as 'The dog listener' formally a traditional dog trainer but who went on to study wolves in the yellow stone park which revolutionised her approach. Able to turn around even the most traumatised dogs & teaching people these new gentle & simple techniques. Much easier than people though Richard! Thanks for explaining this - my NM & brother flip from one to the other all the time , never know where I am but am getting better with my boundaries & low contact gives me the head space & healing time I need.
I had depression and anxiety before meeting my narcissistic ex but was doing ok. A little over a year after we started dating I noticed I was loosing hair, low energy, weight gain, my depression was back and I felt like I was going crazy! I went to see my doctor and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, it’s truly mind blowing what our bodies go through when in a relationship with someone like this. 😢
I strongly believe I got cancer due to his Machiavellian ways , the drama , the swap change mind and mood swings , the blame passing , the arrogance , the complete lack of consideration and the perpetual torment including messing up purposely immediately after thoroughly cleaning . Playing music really loud or making benign phone calls with the loudspeaker on full volume as he’d shout to some spurious company on the receiving end of that call whilst standing close to me in the room where I would be sleeping . Very antagonistic . Highly coercive and painfully arrogant . Random rages even during a pleasant conversation ( may I add those pleasantries would be from myself ) Moaning incessantly feeling entitled … ( that is a daily occurrence ) The list of negativity and drama is off the scale . I live with this insidious behaviour though as time as gone on I manage it considerably well . I have found , give them very little or no reaction when able . In a way it’s sad as I came to recognise through my own personal experience of 6 years that he would be vehemently predictable , I could almost wrote the script. After time I could actually sense his energy of shame and mental pain therefore I would know when a episode is about to unfold. Exactly one week before my major operation to hopefully rid the cancer I had, he threw me out into the street knowing I was weak and had nowhere to go. That was January 2023. The great news is I shall be housed soon and I will not look back . Is he a narcissist , I believe so from reading relevant literature and listening to your videos and podcast interviews . Your explanations and elaborations I believe are the most accurate .. Irrelevant really narcissist or not , what is relevant is you helped me so much through the emotionally and mentally challenging journey I had to hideously endure . Thank you so much for all your time and effort it truly was highly appreciated. Sent from UK.
Oh I understand your story almost matches mine to the t, there's way to many things two even try to type but I can read between the lines, I'm still here dealing with it but not for long, I must do what i have to do to get peace. Stay strong
@@johnyork6174 I agree, there are far too many things to type even remember as the continuous eggshell walking and predictability sends your mind into orbit . I desensitised as I realised just how unwell he was. I’d witness his face change in sync to his mood. It’s pitiful to witness once you finally realise just how unwell these people are. I walked out after 6 years ( almost 7 ) and with absolute honesty in my heart from me to you , I cannot believe just how quickly I felt the relief. You need to leave to appreciate just how relieved you will feel . Always remember their insidious behaviour was never personal to you, yet torturous to them hence perpetuating their repugnant ways. Please have the strength to walk away you won’t regret it … Great energy sent your way x
@@Vegan4life555 thank you for your response, it's been 8 years for me, unfortunately I can't just walk away , I have to evict her, she has made that much clear, I have worked to hard for what I have now. My eyes have been open for quite some time but I think I only recently realized that I can no longer be with her, she has pushed most people out my life so your response is big to me , healing will be hard but easier then dealing with it anymore. The hard part is knowing how much we loved, how much we gave just to be left with the feeling that it was all fake from them, the never ending spinning us around so we can't even think straight, I know it will get better, but it's so heavy right now, the feeling of so much lose. I know I need to talk to get right again, but it's so much and it's all I can muster right now, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that your response came at the very moment I needed it. Thank you
Sorry for delay my internet is playing up . Least it’s not being too abusive lol . Aww pet , she says you have to evict her, then do so as your life is far more precious than bricks & mortar . I’m sure she will find somewhere or some other victim to degrade and control . That’s something you have no control over but you have control for your own peace of mind and drama free life instead of a inconsiderate controlling tormenting using leech sucking the life out of you . Im assuming here, though if I were a gambling woman I’d bet I’m not far from the reality . She won’t change , for she can’t . But you can … Be brave make that move get her out ! Sent from a caring person who knows how these toxic people tick . Yes I pity them but your health and well being overrules the relevance of their illness . Desensitise yourself , your life is moving rapidly away .. We are all free to live how we choose non of us are free to abuse . Set yourself free whatever it takes You can do this x
@@Vegan4life555 thank you, no problem on the late response, it's all good. But if I can ask how are you doing now in life, do you feel happier? How long did it really take, the thing that scares me the most is being beating so bad for so long that any hope of a relationship is for ever gone, I can't even think about it. I know that mind sound personal but it's just a question for knowledge. I know who I am and having someone to share with and take care of gave me purpose, a goal , my self never really mattered and I know it should but it's not the cloth I was cut from. I'm in no hurry or anything I know there's much damage to self correct and that will take time. Again I really appreciate you talking to me and if something is not what you want available for all to see them I will understand that, this is a very hard road to travel
For the first five years of our marriage, my husband was either highly argumentative or highly sweet, loving and doting. There was no in between. And I hated it because I would become highly emotional in return, which did not sit well with me. After I left my husband, and he learned that he has no real support system aside from me, he repented and made a change. Our house is finally calm and peaceful.... However, I don't recommend anyone do this to themselves. I'm still traumatized and still think my husband will explode at any small request that I make, which he hasn't. Whew! But my system has a lot to unlearn before I can start fully trusting my husband.
If your husband is a narc you should never trust him. I hope you aren't staying and bringing children into this dysfunction. Hopefully you can use this time to get stable on your own and get out soon. There's nothing but heartache possible when you stay with a narc.
I agree. Bringing children into. this toxic situation would be terrible for any child. Narcs don't care about their children. They're resentful & jealous of them
Now she has lost control of several major sources of supply at once, my ex gf has imploded. She lost 2 parents, her twin, hates the rest of her family, lost me and her new bf will soon catch her cheating because loads of people know about her now. Even her daughter will leave the house soon and she will be left with no one at all. I would feel sorry for her but every time I try to help I just get more abuse, accusations, threats, personal attacks and absolutely no accountability for 3 years of lies.
None of the Narc's I have known have NEVER said "I'm sorry". Especially my superior thinking mother. Even when she was wrong, she was right, no sorry words ever. Confusing person.
I have RA and other auto-immune things going on. Narc, pretty much absent father. narc mother, then married one... My healing is an ongoing lifetime commitment. 🎉
Have just read the how to stop emotional flashbacks manual...if you havent read it i'd highly recommend it! Thank you Richard for sharing that with us...great information and techniques for moving forward. Thank you! 👍
Your the first person that has said anything about split personality, i been watching so many videos about narcissist but none of them could explain why the one im dealing with right now is so different, your video title says it all. All narcissist are not the same, they all do not fall under one rule set.
Yes! I have encountered old texts often when doing searches and sometimes take a moment to look back. OMG. How did I not see how crazy the communication was?
I feel like my ex made me so crazy that I turned into that dog. Either I am constantly defensive and aggressive or I'm utterly submissive and scared, and I'm desperate to make sure the people in my life aren't unhappy with me. I never used to be that way. Not before his abuse. But is that possible??
It's like your mind becomes mush. Becomes so horribly blank it's like your thoughts have become neutral you dint even know what's right or wrong anymore. Total destruction of the mind spirit and soul
@@hhazem67 YES!! Nothing makes sense anymore. And the harder we try to make things make sense, the more confusing things get. We even get so used to the pain and the effects of the abuse that it feels wrong to be without it. It turns us into people we don't even recognize. Or it would, but we forget who we were in the first place. It's an endless nightmare, being with such toxic people.
After what I’ve been through with my dogs this week…thank you for talking about your own….so I can continue to sit comfortably in my fantasy that I’m simply bat shit crazy, and you’re talking directly to me 😂😂🤣😂🤪🤷🏻♀️….just makes life easier to think so 🤷🏻♀️😝😘😋
This is so absolutely me. This whole thing the whole video. All these video I'm serious, it's all so bad. Everything. It's absolutely driving me nuts and insane and there is zero empathy and all destruction of my being and soul. It's like they have no soul, no moral compass. It's horrid how they supposedly loved you and turn into the worst creature on the face of the earth.
Wow this is wild. I actually got covid 3 times, had long covid & now suffer from epstein barr viruse immune & stomach issues. All the while healing from severe narc abuse.
The split is really what keeps you stuck and confused esp with a covert narc. Keep second guessing yourself that they might actually be a decent person but then forget all the bad shit they do
Matthew 10:13,14 and when you come into a house,salute it.and if the house be worthy let your peace come upon it:but if it be not worthy,let your peace return to you.".............this comes from.a position of strenght just like you said!i delight in finding your knowledlege straight out of Jesus mouth.Thanku ,so much,before the abuse I gave out of no boundries,now i give out of boundries.There are limits i didnt recognize,thanku for these vidieos,thanku Jesus for showing me ,your righteousness,not my own.
My mom, brother and her sister are terrible narcissists. They have done horrible things to people. My Aunt speaks to her loved ones in a horrible way but to people in public she is the "fun" one. My mom is a covert narcissist, while my brother has become a malignant narcissist and has no empathy at all and would do anything to get what he wants when he wants. I have suffered from not only thyroid and adrenal illness, but 2 Grand Mal seizures. I've lost severe weight as well. I cut them out a year ago and she sent letters and cards, and came to my house to harass my family after I told her to stay away. How can we properly heal and move on if they constantly pop in and out of our lives when we have asked them to leave us alone? Has anyone else dealt with this?
CPTSD DOESN'T EQUATE TO BEING NARC: .... 💗 Respectfully Richard 💗 ... good video, as always. And, I just have issue with ~ :37 mark in this video. There needs to be more sussing there ---- you are mixing narcissism with CPTSD... AS IF they are one and the same --- which is not the case. Any person MAY have CPTSD and certainly are NOT instantly narcissists. (I think you agree--- it just is "messy" at this part of the video.) *YIN & YANG* Yes, some narcs easily FLIP ON A DIME... from "soft" to "harsh" --- so true. All in the name of sick manipulation for the Super Ego though. Yet, this does not automatically join all those with CPTSD as being Narcs. *HEALTHY FAWNING* (just as there is a level of "healthy narcissism" to protect oneself on a scale of 0-10) ie: when a person (child, small woman/man) in fear for their life is being repeatedly raped by a family member may "fawn" or "please & appease" their perpetrator to save their own life. That does not make them a narcissist. It makes them using the only thing they have to save their life. Regarding tears: Narcs use "faux empathy for others" and their own tears of empathy for themselves as part of their manipulation tool box. Look at trauma experts like those at NICAMB, etc. Lumping those suffering from CPTSD from narcissistic abuse (or otherwise) as one and the same as being a narc is not correct. Complex PTSD and narcissism can be closely intertwined, although they're *----> not the same thing.
THANK YOU for this! I am dealing with a BPD who also has CPTSD and who is high on narcissism under stress and it's very difficult to remember that he has CPTSD. When I "treat" his CPTSD by being compassionate, he is better and his narcissistic and borderline traits are lessoned but it's very difficult.
Abso-frickin-lutely! There are other factors but I have lost my hair, can't lose weight, my brown skin sunburns very easily, I'm constantly exhausted and in pain. But I don't have a diagnosis because my husband, who is the breadwinner of the family refuses to pay for health insurance for me. He's teased me, saying his latest job will provide insurance but then yanked it away smirking and saying it's too expensive. He takes up my slack and then he intermittently shames me because I don't have enough spoons to keep up with his ADHD pace.
Heal. Get out. It's blunt, but some of us have been there, and your body is on fumes and trying to warn you. Insurance or not, use others like me who've healed ourselves and start reading how to heal your immune system. You won't be able to though if you're stuck in fight or flight and all your resources are being depleted by just treading water.
I thought you said 'Poppy' and the talk would lead to a discussion about heroin and 'Trainspotting', I quickly realised you were referring to a young dog . Puppy you pronounce is as Poppy-Liverpudian accent! 😀 Agree, giving from a place of anxiety is not healthy -learnt condition from being abused extensively. "Please don't hurt me' Minor version of the Stockholm Syndrome having been brainwashed to be a good person from the abuser. It's hard habit to break unless you are self aware and conscious of your actions.
I’d still like to know the overlap or combination between borderline and narcissistic personality disorder. I had a female friend now deceased that was very angry and would kick and occasionally punch me. I told her you don’t do that to people and she never acknowledged my comment or apologized. She was in her forties and once I had her over my home and asked her if she wanted some cheesecake. I got a scare because she had a glazed look in her eyes and nodded her head in the affirmative and somewhat panted like a dog. It was if I was asking a child if she wanted a cookie. It was a scary, red light moment for me that something clicked and was far amiss. When I’d say something she didn’t like, she punched me in the ribs and she was strong and built like a chimpanzee. I told her to get out of my home and opened the door. She buttressed her body arms and legs and I was in disbelief at her unacceptable and unstable state. When she got on other side of my door, she feigned a fall and conveniently fell onto my carpet vestibule like a baby would tumble. She knew how to fall where she wouldn’t get hurt but was if this forty-something woman was a baby. What’s that about?!!!!!!! She was angry and downright hostile and both physically and verbally abusive. What adult goes to kick you under the table at a restaurant????!!!
@@sandrathomas2893 I believe you’re correct Sandra. Her parents were divorced and I only met the father once and he seemed like an abusive, controlling narc. She had a massive debt she hid and clearly sensed her lies and manipulation irritated the father as he probably had to bail out her debts and she’d keep spending and dine in restaurants well beyond her means. I sensed she clearly had several forms of “abuse” and wondered if it was her own father. I don’t know and she never discussed it but she was verbally and physically hostile and entitled living in her own fantasy world. I was only a friend to her as I’m not interested in women but she had feelings for me which I didn’t pick up on quickly. I think she was angry and my rejection of her and had a lot of anger and resentment toward her controlling father and I have no idea of the family dynamic as I only knew her parents were divorced. I highly suspect she was Borderline as I saw the toddler childlike behavior and noticed when we once went to a comedy show she giggled like a child playing peekaboo. I was rather embarrassed .
@@OSTARAEB4 You describe my BPD sister. We're in our late 50's and I feel like I'm speaking with a toddler and she's all over the place. Never let's me finish a sentence. She never visits without a temper tantrum before leaving. It's exhausting!! She was neglected and abused and was our Mom's target. It's really sad! You can't develop properly while in survival mode. Her pride however hinders her healing. Personally, I believe it's the Jezebel and Leviathan spirits working through them. They have legal entry through unhealed soul wounds. People get delivered and are normal again! And their minds are renewed and sound. Blessings 🙏
My partner is diagnosed with BPD and conflict with him is exactly like this... Is it possible for a person for BPD rather than NPD to transition into the personality of a Narc? As he tends to become grandiose at times (especially when drinking) but inconsistently and can flip flop between traits by the minute
Theyre opposites i would say. Im autistic myself and i have been abused by people with npd and by people with cptsd. Autistics have much higher affective empathy, but "lower" in the cognitive neurotypical empathy(and thats just because our operative systems are different) autistics are npt narsisissts, but I do know a few narsisisstics like to blame it on their non existing autism.
Narcs have no empathy. Autistic people have trouble expressing their empathy. Narcs are master manipulators. Autistic people are more easily manipulated than nt people. Autistic people have some mind blindness that might look narcissistic but that's about where the similarities end.
Funny how it’s the narcissist want us to go to therapy and then the therapist tries to save us and they blame us or the therapist, and want to sit on the sessions.
Seeing him exchanging from devil to angel in front of you, even after the break up. Never had I experienced anything like that and I 'm 45. I have imposed no contact strictly to avoid witnessing this thing. And yet, I still witness it each time he breaks my no contact at work. No wonder why I haven't healed yet.
My mother and brothers are npd...my mom, the pack leader hated my father and myself. She is dead now but we were tormented by her back stabbing and then fake love towards us both, cognitive dissonance to the max...I recently was talking to my oldest brother on a regular basis because I had to and it ended badly of course...I was doing so well too now I'm ruminating like mad and beating myself up...pure torture!!! I'm sure he hasn't given it a second thought...when he as telling me off I could here the sense of almost erotic pleasure he received from it, it was so strange his voice was almost demonic. My histrionic/npd mother RUINED my life.. I feel so lost, alone and humiliated to the max. You have saved my life Richard, I honestly mean that... thank you again.
my immune system became non existent. i am basically permanently sick. mostly in the respiratory system, always coughing and sneezing; especially after being with them…
When I'm around a meat suit parasite, my gut will keep going too. I lost 5ft of terminal ileum and the ileocecal valve by literally ignoring my gut. Fast forward and if I stick to clean food, no wheat or GMO junk, no roundup... and no assholes... then I have no disease. Our bodies can only take so much before they give out.
Out of curiosity, did any of you find yourself also isolated because of autoimmune diseases… perhaps making it more susceptible to this personality type ?
I was in a cult, unknowingly recruited at 15 yrs old. Got out of it and my abusive marriage, in my 60s. Im now disabled, fighting suicidal thoughts. Trying to survive and understand
Very helpful video, thank you 🙏. I finally blocked my probably NPD partner yesterday after a week of trying to negotiate a civil split. He did just as you said - cycled between victimhood, tyranny, blame, coercion, begging and lecturing- all within minutes. Your videos have helped educate me over the last year so that I have been able to step away with a true understanding of what was happening (and still is in my head!) and why. I think these people present like a Trojan horse. Seemingly ideal. Until you believe they are benign and wonderful. Then they let out the monsters from the hollow shell: the liar, the victim, the persecutor, the false sage, the preaching parent… This relationship led me to lose almost all sense of self or agency. Anxiety, fear, confusion, second guessing self, worsening of autoimmunes, loss of hope and being fed breadcrumbs of it to keep you in it… the list goes on. In the end it was destroying the shared fantasy that enabled me to leave. But first I had to understand exactly what constituted that. I feel desperately sad for NPDs - it’s not their fault. But it’s not mine either, or yours. And not ours to fix. It is important to understand, also, our own part in remaining so that we do not repeat it again.
Arye correct, I'm a retired Blackbelt kickboxer, but when I was with both my ex-npd wives when married, despite training regularly, and eating reasonably healthy daily, I would blow up in weight. When doing the same amount of training and healthy eating when I was single, the weight would fly off me. Spot on. Thanks Richard.
Hi Richard my daughter is the narcissist and dealing with her we shared a house with her and her family so they could own a house. This ultimately has made me and my husband so sick it is crazy. I have had my rheumatoid arthritis so bad we are having trouble stabilizing it and I had a chronic pneumonia for three years. My husband had his blood flow cut off when he sat down in the bathroom christmas eve and collapsed on the floor and had my son in law not moved him he would have died. We eventually had to buy a fifth wheel to put on the property to get us out of the house so we could start to heal physically,then I started therapy with your courses and outside therapist. Three years on we are starting to physically and mentally starting to stabilize but we cannot be in contact with our daughter really at all. We are at the point that we want to move to another province closer to our son and his family because it is so much healthier. Our daughter almost killed us and we are in our early fifties this is not a joke and it was so hard for us to understand what was happening.
We decided to go separate way as he had major issues “and he wouldn’t make me stay and make me isolated from my family” and on this video call, I was desperate loosing it because of the upcoming breakup, I remember him just lying on the bed as we were talking about weather - nothing in his face changed. No stress no sadness no fear. Just ice cold preparing for the “cold shower” breakup as he called it . Last breakup: same picture. Nothing in his face showed some kind of feeling. In hindsight I understand what was going on. At this time it was just crazy for me to see. But now I know he switched from one state to that cruel cold sick state of absolute emptiness in his soul.
🤔An ex would often say: "I'm VERY Black and White". Too bad I didn't know what that really meant; in terms of attitude, outlook, mindset, perception, behaviour, and personal accountability. She is _all_ for Division, Separation and Conflict - and she can have as much of it as she desires.☣
It seems to me that they are so false to the outside world that they can’t maintain it for long periods of time and it actually wears them out and sends them crazy. In my experience Narcassists need a lot of down time alone and I believe this is because they are always exhausting themselves playing their own game. They also don’t actually understand how to interact with people properly
„they don‘t want peace, they want problems, thats how they feed“- so true👍👍👍
It's a really strange experience, to have this switching happening right in front of your eyes.
Especially demonic rage when the face changes to a crazy psychotic monster
Yes it is
So many years I tried to ignore it. Even when she told me with her own words. I guess I didn't belive, I've always tried to see the good in people. That's the reason I was targeted.
Yep. And then be accused of doing the same thing. I left - couldn’t deal with that at all. Hope you’re ok?
Confusing to say the very least and often flipping from one to another in seconds and back...and repeat
Palpitations, dermatitis, extreme insomnia (something i never dealt with before this relationship), acid reflux, weight fluctuations, depression, anxiety, and the list goes on. Time to find the way out of this maddening maze.
Please leave. Please choose you. 🥰
@@aycha_1449 thank you 🙏 Since I wrote the reply I’ve gone no contact. Hardest breakup ever, but I’m already better.
@@mamadoom9724 Narcs literally make people ill. And then discard the person who’s got health issues as a result of the stress of being with them. Hope you can get yourself free and begin the healing. ❤️🩹
Yes for me a heart attack and then shingles. So damaging. I loved him not now
They really are killers run away folks
I have fibromyalgia, reproductive issues, an autoimmune disease, frequent headaches, armoured muscle tension, constant fatigue and feel burn out no matter how much I sleep…
They're definitely split, fragmented, and dissociated but they sure can switch it on or off like a light switch when someone else unexpectedly appears on the scene.
My x could go from raging psycho monster to charming, calmer than a cucumber when the cops appeared.
What a GIG!!
You're exactly spot on about being able to follow the switch up through a text thread. And personally in my case, I wouldn't even have to respond to anything, he would quite literally be texting with himself, going from fighting mode (devaluation) to fawning mode (love bombing) without a single response from me, and it would go on for hours and days. Also it is this very thing that forced me back into reality. I was able to look at all the endless text messages from him and clearly recognize that he's fighting and fawning his own ego. I wasn't needed and it was NEVER about me.
Once you're able to recognize and understand that truth you're healing from it will become easier.
I love you guys! Stay strong 🤍
Aren't the text threads INSANE? I get anxiety even reading old ones so I'm able to process the persistent never ending fights, always the same fights, totally circular, never a resolution but it's literally him going in this circle where he attacks, devalues, then gaslights, then plays the victim, then rationalizes, etc etc. It's so crazy. And responding to it just makes it continue. What sucks is there's never any resolution. That's what really drives me crazy. He's delusional. Richard is right, there's no normal adult conversation. I experience that "lunacy" all the time. I feel crazy.
His text messages used to give me anxiety attacks.
I used to not even be able to open my MSG's ..the anxiety it caused me was crazy.
Once I learnt to not respond to the MSG's at all ..well the relationship started to die . The weird thing was he used to text me when we were in the same house!
He had no time to talk to me but endless time to text. Toxic, toxic texts.
I never get sick. Haven't even got a GP and don't even keep a headache tablet in my house. Yet while with him I kept getting colds and flu constantly.
These responses are so spot on, i always had anxiety and thought something was wrong with me, see my mother was a narcissist, so i was groomed from a child, and i have been a narc magnet all my life, and omg, those text msg's wil literally drive you crazy, if you let them, i learned to just ignore them too, and it definitely saved my sanity, but overtime it will affect your health in some way, just being around these energy vampires❤
Narcissistic elation Vs. Narcissistic depletion.
Just had it happen to me, it felt like hey, here are some toys lets have fun! When i was finally trusting and having fun he just took them away literally as though i overstayed my welcome...
Oh wow, I've had eczema for 13 years on my nose that I could not get rid of. Almost a week after I left the 13 year narcissistic relationship, the inflammation just disappeared.
I ended up with autoimmune thyroiditis due to the malignant narc I was married to. This was from 1969 to 1990 when I divorced him. I've still got the thyroid disorder and weight issues, hair loss, insomnia and more, but I am working on it all.
Do an elimination diet hon... sending healing vibes 🙏❤️⛑️. So many of us have been there too, and we get it 🤗
I didn't correlate the two , wow! weight loss, pulse off the charts, goiter, graves disease ect... I went into a thyroid storm. Not realizing the severity of it at the time...I've had my thyroid removed now, I'd say it's 1 of the worst things I've ever been through to be honest... anywho enough of my waffle , I hope you're feeling tons better , hang on in there lovely 💞
I got an itchy rash for 5 days after we slept together
I understood that narcissists thinking upside down from the rest of the world
They think whatever benefits them whether it’s right or wrong to the rest of the world.
Extreme eczema and skin allergies, severe rheumatoid arthritis. I had both before meeting the narcissist partner, but they flared up to debilitating levels. It was during the pandemic so I attributed it to the stress of lockdown and losing my job. Over and over I B hear stories of folks who develop these conditions through involvement with narcissistic abusers. I’m almost one year out and still struggling.
I think i experienced the split personality when they didn’t remember some of the toxic things they said to me in the rage moments. It was bizarre. Either that or just really effective gas lighting.
Watch police bodycam videos. During an arrest, you watch this in real time. Especially if they're drinking. They're laughing and mocking the cop, then suddenly crying and pretending to need medical attention, then suddenly they're kicking and threatening to kill the cop, then suddenly crying and howling because "I can't go to jail what about my kid don't you care about my kid ??!"
They switch in minutes.
You don’t need to be a narcissist to have a drunk and disorderly episode. Let’s not also forget how many cops have been exposed for winding people up when they think they’re not being filmed.
Wow, NPD seeks drama and conflict, ugh! You are spot on. Confusion, Chaos.... anger, rage, cursing.😊
Autoimmune disease here too. Our Mitochondria can't run hot for years and not run out of resources and start flipping on and off our systems trying to stay running. I lost 5ft of my gut when I was married to an NPD psycho for 15 years. Even with my most recent ex, I couldn't be around any heavy electrical grid without having massive nerve pain and demylenation and fatigue. I kept ignoring what I know I shouldn't have, and it was burning me out again, despite being basically a pro at health and biohacking. We can't out kale or out meditate ignoring our own internal compass. In related news, I find NPD-trending peeps really don't like Richard Grannon 😂.
My dad created a narcissistic family cult. My earliest memories are him being arrested and sent to a mental hospital. His diagnoses were Capgras syndrome and psychopathy, two intertwined, major delusional disorders. Inside the family, he bragged of killing two or more people, stealing princely sums from drug traffickers, and rising in their ranks. Outside the family, he represents himself as a simple accountant who wrote a book about integrity and stalking bad guys. The whole family worships him, while being obsessed with me, “because you are so stupid, you believe in the Ten Commandments.”
A funny thing he used to say is, “Robin Hood was a jerk because he gave the money back.”
Fear is the emotion in the dog which causes both submission & attack. Gentle leadership is the key - he wants to be in the new pack but doesn't know his place . I learnt so much from a lady called Jan Fennel known as 'The dog listener' formally a traditional dog trainer but who went on to study wolves in the yellow stone park which revolutionised her approach. Able to turn around even the most traumatised dogs & teaching people these new gentle & simple techniques.
Much easier than people though Richard! Thanks for explaining this - my NM & brother flip from one to the other all the time , never know where I am but am getting better with my boundaries & low contact gives me the head space & healing time I need.
There's a limit for giving.
Thank you you help me leave a relationship that was so toxic thank you
YES, I developed PTSD, Hypothyroidism, Positive ANA, Insomnia, and 20 other conditions
I had depression and anxiety before meeting my narcissistic ex but was doing ok. A little over a year after we started dating I noticed I was loosing hair, low energy, weight gain, my depression was back and I felt like I was going crazy! I went to see my doctor and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, it’s truly mind blowing what our bodies go through when in a relationship with someone like this. 😢
I strongly believe I got cancer due to his Machiavellian ways , the drama , the swap change mind and mood swings , the blame passing , the arrogance , the complete lack of consideration and the perpetual torment including messing up purposely immediately after thoroughly cleaning . Playing music really loud or making benign phone calls with the loudspeaker on full volume as he’d shout to some spurious company on the receiving end of that call whilst standing close to me in the room where I would be sleeping . Very antagonistic . Highly coercive and painfully arrogant .
Random rages even during a pleasant conversation ( may I add those pleasantries would be from myself )
Moaning incessantly feeling entitled … ( that is a daily occurrence )
The list of negativity and drama is off the scale .
I live with this insidious behaviour though as time as gone on I manage it considerably well .
I have found , give them very little or no reaction when able .
In a way it’s sad as I came to recognise through my own personal experience of 6 years that he would be vehemently predictable , I could almost wrote the script.
After time I could actually sense his energy of shame and mental pain therefore I would know when a episode is about to unfold.
Exactly one week before my major operation to hopefully rid the cancer I had, he threw me out into the street knowing I was weak and had nowhere to go. That was January 2023.
The great news is I shall be housed soon and I will not look back .
Is he a narcissist , I believe so from reading relevant literature and listening to your videos and podcast interviews .
Your explanations and elaborations I believe are the most accurate ..
Irrelevant really narcissist or not , what is relevant is you
helped me so much through the emotionally and mentally challenging journey I had to hideously endure .
Thank you so much for all your time and effort it truly was highly appreciated.
Sent from UK.
Oh I understand your story almost matches mine to the t, there's way to many things two even try to type but I can read between the lines, I'm still here dealing with it but not for long, I must do what i have to do to get peace. Stay strong
@@johnyork6174 I agree, there are far too many things to type even remember as the continuous eggshell walking and predictability sends your mind into orbit . I desensitised as I realised just how unwell he was. I’d witness his face change in sync to his mood. It’s pitiful to witness once you finally realise just how unwell these people are.
I walked out after 6 years ( almost 7 ) and with absolute honesty in my heart from me to you , I cannot believe just how quickly I felt the relief.
You need to leave to appreciate just how relieved you will feel .
Always remember their insidious behaviour was never personal to you, yet torturous to them hence perpetuating their repugnant ways.
Please have the strength to walk away you won’t regret it …
Great energy sent your way x
@@Vegan4life555 thank you for your response, it's been 8 years for me, unfortunately I can't just walk away , I have to evict her, she has made that much clear, I have worked to hard for what I have now. My eyes have been open for quite some time but I think I only recently realized that I can no longer be with her, she has pushed most people out my life so your response is big to me , healing will be hard but easier then dealing with it anymore. The hard part is knowing how much we loved, how much we gave just to be left with the feeling that it was all fake from them, the never ending spinning us around so we can't even think straight, I know it will get better, but it's so heavy right now, the feeling of so much lose. I know I need to talk to get right again, but it's so much and it's all I can muster right now, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that your response came at the very moment I needed it. Thank you
Sorry for delay my internet is playing up . Least it’s not being too abusive lol .
Aww pet , she says you have to evict her, then do so as your life is far more precious than bricks & mortar . I’m sure she will find somewhere or some other victim to degrade and control . That’s something you have no control over but you have control for your own peace of mind and drama free life instead of a inconsiderate controlling tormenting using leech sucking the life out of you .
Im assuming here, though if I were a gambling woman I’d bet I’m not far from the reality .
She won’t change , for she can’t .
But you can …
Be brave make that move get her out !
Sent from a caring person who knows how these toxic people tick . Yes I pity them but your health and well being overrules the relevance of their illness .
Desensitise yourself , your life is moving rapidly away ..
We are all free to live how we choose non of us are free to abuse .
Set yourself free whatever it takes
You can do this x
@@Vegan4life555 thank you, no problem on the late response, it's all good. But if I can ask how are you doing now in life, do you feel happier? How long did it really take, the thing that scares me the most is being beating so bad for so long that any hope of a relationship is for ever gone, I can't even think about it. I know that mind sound personal but it's just a question for knowledge. I know who I am and having someone to share with and take care of gave me purpose, a goal , my self never really mattered and I know it should but it's not the cloth I was cut from. I'm in no hurry or anything I know there's much damage to self correct and that will take time. Again I really appreciate you talking to me and if something is not what you want available for all to see them I will understand that, this is a very hard road to travel
For the first five years of our marriage, my husband was either highly argumentative or highly sweet, loving and doting. There was no in between. And I hated it because I would become highly emotional in return, which did not sit well with me. After I left my husband, and he learned that he has no real support system aside from me, he repented and made a change. Our house is finally calm and peaceful.... However, I don't recommend anyone do this to themselves. I'm still traumatized and still think my husband will explode at any small request that I make, which he hasn't. Whew! But my system has a lot to unlearn before I can start fully trusting my husband.
If your husband is a narc you should never trust him. I hope you aren't staying and bringing children into this dysfunction.
Hopefully you can use this time to get stable on your own and get out soon. There's nothing but heartache possible when you stay with a narc.
It's only a question of time...😢
I agree. Bringing children into. this toxic situation would be terrible for any child.
Narcs don't care about their children. They're resentful & jealous of them
I recognize this tactic
It’s all because narcissists are demons 💯
Yes! My Lupus and IBS was in constant flare in this crazy 2 year relationship. Thank goodness that nonsense is over!
Now she has lost control of several major sources of supply at once, my ex gf has imploded. She lost 2 parents, her twin, hates the rest of her family, lost me and her new bf will soon catch her cheating because loads of people know about her now. Even her daughter will leave the house soon and she will be left with no one at all.
I would feel sorry for her but every time I try to help I just get more abuse, accusations, threats, personal attacks and absolutely no accountability for 3 years of lies.
None of the Narc's I have known have NEVER said "I'm sorry". Especially my superior thinking mother. Even when she was wrong, she was right, no sorry words ever. Confusing person.
I have Sjogrens Syndrome and I am always having flare ups. I wish I was in a financial position to get some peace.
I'm not in crisis, but I listen to many of these just to stay on top of things. This one right here? ☝🏾 This made SO much sense
👏🏾 💣 💥 💯
I have RA and other auto-immune things going on. Narc, pretty much absent father. narc mother, then married one... My healing is an ongoing lifetime commitment. 🎉
Have just read the how to stop emotional flashbacks manual...if you havent read it i'd highly recommend it! Thank you Richard for sharing that with us...great information and techniques for moving forward.
Thank you! 👍
Wonderful analogy
Your the first person that has said anything about split personality, i been watching so many videos about narcissist but none of them could explain why the one im dealing with right now is so different, your video title says it all. All narcissist are not the same, they all do not fall under one rule set.
It was so weird. Im a strong person but I felt like I was loosing my mind when I was with him. He went from sweet to a demon right before my eyes.
its really interesting how you can study the different states in text communications. very helpful to get what is going on.
Yes! I have encountered old texts often when doing searches and sometimes take a moment to look back. OMG. How did I not see how crazy the communication was?
Thank you so much!!!
Omg...I have MS and it was always off when I was with him.
I feel like my ex made me so crazy that I turned into that dog. Either I am constantly defensive and aggressive or I'm utterly submissive and scared, and I'm desperate to make sure the people in my life aren't unhappy with me. I never used to be that way. Not before his abuse. But is that possible??
It's like your mind becomes mush. Becomes so horribly blank it's like your thoughts have become neutral you dint even know what's right or wrong anymore. Total destruction of the mind spirit and soul
@@hhazem67 YES!! Nothing makes sense anymore. And the harder we try to make things make sense, the more confusing things get. We even get so used to the pain and the effects of the abuse that it feels wrong to be without it. It turns us into people we don't even recognize. Or it would, but we forget who we were in the first place.
It's an endless nightmare, being with such toxic people.
After what I’ve been through with my dogs this week…thank you for talking about your own….so I can continue to sit comfortably in my fantasy that I’m simply bat shit crazy, and you’re talking directly to me 😂😂🤣😂🤪🤷🏻♀️….just makes life easier to think so 🤷🏻♀️😝😘😋
This is so absolutely me. This whole thing the whole video. All these video I'm serious, it's all so bad. Everything. It's absolutely driving me nuts and insane and there is zero empathy and all destruction of my being and soul. It's like they have no soul, no moral compass. It's horrid how they supposedly loved you and turn into the worst creature on the face of the earth.
Wow this is wild. I actually got covid 3 times, had long covid & now suffer from epstein barr viruse immune & stomach issues. All the while healing from severe narc abuse.
The split is really what keeps you stuck and confused esp with a covert narc. Keep second guessing yourself that they might actually be a decent person but then forget all the bad shit they do
Thank you richard for this extremely informed conversation. You are priceless.
Yep, MS.
Thak you for the perfect illustration ! 🎉❤
Matthew 10:13,14 and when you come into a house,salute it.and if the house be worthy let your peace come upon it:but if it be not worthy,let your peace return to you.".............this comes from.a position of strenght just like you said!i delight in finding your knowledlege straight out of Jesus mouth.Thanku ,so much,before the abuse I gave out of no boundries,now i give out of boundries.There are limits i didnt recognize,thanku for these vidieos,thanku Jesus for showing me ,your righteousness,not my own.
Your foundation needs to be built on Rock. Then you can give in a healthy way. Ha!!!
I knew...on some level, I bloody well knew.
Sad story about the dog.
my two npd girls both were into saving stray/shelter dogs. Second one has 5 at home. Disaster. All have become neurotic.
Thank you Richard. Very interesting information. ❤Thank you.
If the person can't get away with bullying, they probably really believe they are being victimized.
It still f**king hurts and I’m grieving and and…and I’m checking out your website.
I love the channel, so insightful and actually makes sense. Not a reflection of the content/video but why didn’t you just train the dog 😭 poor thing
If narcissistic people want drama and conflict than you just diagnosed every single woman as a narcissist.
My mom, brother and her sister are terrible narcissists. They have done horrible things to people. My Aunt speaks to her loved ones in a horrible way but to people in public she is the "fun" one. My mom is a covert narcissist, while my brother has become a malignant narcissist and has no empathy at all and would do anything to get what he wants when he wants. I have suffered from not only thyroid and adrenal illness, but 2 Grand Mal seizures. I've lost severe weight as well. I cut them out a year ago and she sent letters and cards, and came to my house to harass my family after I told her to stay away.
How can we properly heal and move on if they constantly pop in and out of our lives when we have asked them to leave us alone? Has anyone else dealt with this?
CPTSD DOESN'T EQUATE TO BEING NARC: .... 💗 Respectfully Richard 💗 ... good video, as always. And, I just have issue with ~ :37 mark in this video. There needs to be more sussing there ---- you are mixing narcissism with CPTSD... AS IF they are one and the same --- which is not the case. Any person MAY have CPTSD and certainly are NOT instantly narcissists. (I think you agree--- it just is "messy" at this part of the video.)
*YIN & YANG*
Yes, some narcs easily FLIP ON A DIME... from "soft" to "harsh" --- so true. All in the name of sick manipulation for the Super Ego though. Yet, this does not automatically join all those with CPTSD as being Narcs.
*HEALTHY FAWNING*
(just as there is a level of "healthy narcissism" to protect oneself on a scale of 0-10)
ie: when a person (child, small woman/man) in fear for their life is being repeatedly raped by a family member may "fawn" or "please & appease" their perpetrator to save their own life. That does not make them a narcissist. It makes them using the only thing they have to save their life.
Regarding tears:
Narcs use "faux empathy for others" and their own tears of empathy for themselves as part of their manipulation tool box. Look at trauma experts like those at NICAMB, etc. Lumping those suffering from CPTSD from narcissistic abuse (or otherwise) as one and the same as being a narc is not correct.
Complex PTSD and narcissism
can be closely intertwined, although they're
*----> not the same thing.
THANK YOU for this! I am dealing with a BPD who also has CPTSD and who is high on narcissism under stress and it's very difficult to remember that he has CPTSD. When I "treat" his CPTSD by being compassionate, he is better and his narcissistic and borderline traits are lessoned but it's very difficult.
Abso-frickin-lutely! There are other factors but I have lost my hair, can't lose weight, my brown skin sunburns very easily, I'm constantly exhausted and in pain. But I don't have a diagnosis because my husband, who is the breadwinner of the family refuses to pay for health insurance for me. He's teased me, saying his latest job will provide insurance but then yanked it away smirking and saying it's too expensive.
He takes up my slack and then he intermittently shames me because I don't have enough spoons to keep up with his ADHD pace.
Heal. Get out. It's blunt, but some of us have been there, and your body is on fumes and trying to warn you. Insurance or not, use others like me who've healed ourselves and start reading how to heal your immune system. You won't be able to though if you're stuck in fight or flight and all your resources are being depleted by just treading water.
@@samanthabraun217 Thank you! Yes, I'm working on it but it's going to take time. We have special needs kids and I need training/education etc.
Thank you
I thought you said 'Poppy' and the talk would lead to a discussion about heroin and 'Trainspotting', I quickly realised you were referring to a young dog . Puppy you pronounce is as Poppy-Liverpudian accent! 😀 Agree, giving from a place of anxiety is not healthy -learnt condition from being abused extensively. "Please don't hurt me' Minor version of the Stockholm Syndrome having been brainwashed to be a good person from the abuser. It's hard habit to break unless you are self aware and conscious of your actions.
I’d still like to know the overlap or combination between borderline and narcissistic personality disorder. I had a female friend now deceased that was very angry and would kick and occasionally punch me. I told her you don’t do that to people and she never acknowledged my comment or apologized. She was in her forties and once I had her over my home and asked her if she wanted some cheesecake. I got a scare because she had a glazed look in her eyes and nodded her head in the affirmative and somewhat panted like a dog. It was if I was asking a child if she wanted a cookie. It was a scary, red light moment for me that something clicked and was far amiss. When I’d say something she didn’t like, she punched me in the ribs and she was strong and built like a chimpanzee. I told her to get out of my home and opened the door. She buttressed her body arms and legs and I was in disbelief at her unacceptable and unstable state. When she got on other side of my door, she feigned a fall and conveniently fell onto my carpet vestibule like a baby would tumble. She knew how to fall where she wouldn’t get hurt but was if this forty-something woman was a baby. What’s that about?!!!!!!! She was angry and downright hostile and both physically and verbally abusive. What adult goes to kick you under the table at a restaurant????!!!
They have severe arrested emotional and mental development. The child froze and an adult body grew around them.
@@sandrathomas2893 I believe you’re correct Sandra. Her parents were divorced and I only met the father once and he seemed like an abusive, controlling narc. She had a massive debt she hid and clearly sensed her lies and manipulation irritated the father as he probably had to bail out her debts and she’d keep spending and dine in restaurants well beyond her means. I sensed she clearly had several forms of “abuse” and wondered if it was her own father. I don’t know and she never discussed it but she was verbally and physically hostile and entitled living in her own fantasy world. I was only a friend to her as I’m not interested in women but she had feelings for me which I didn’t pick up on quickly. I think she was angry and my rejection of her and had a lot of anger and resentment toward her controlling father and I have no idea of the family dynamic as I only knew her parents were divorced. I highly suspect she was Borderline as I saw the toddler childlike behavior and noticed when we once went to a comedy show she giggled like a child playing peekaboo. I was rather embarrassed .
@@OSTARAEB4 You describe my BPD sister. We're in our late 50's and I feel like I'm speaking with a toddler and she's all over the place. Never let's me finish a sentence. She never visits without a temper tantrum before leaving. It's exhausting!!
She was neglected and abused and was our Mom's target.
It's really sad! You can't develop properly while in survival mode.
Her pride however hinders her healing.
Personally, I believe it's the Jezebel and Leviathan spirits working through them.
They have legal entry through unhealed soul wounds.
People get delivered and are normal again! And their minds are renewed and sound.
Blessings 🙏
Very helpful thank you
My partner is diagnosed with BPD and conflict with him is exactly like this... Is it possible for a person for BPD rather than NPD to transition into the personality of a Narc? As he tends to become grandiose at times (especially when drinking) but inconsistently and can flip flop between traits by the minute
Yes.
BPD is a spectrum disorder just like Narcissism..the Cluster B disorders overlap so there’s no ‘pure’ BPD or pure NPD or HPD etc they overlap
BPD is a spectrum disorder just like Narcissism..the Cluster B disorders overlap so there’s no ‘pure’ BPD or pure NPD or HPD etc they overlap
Bpd is like if a person was fast cycing between narc types. They're almost worse than person with nod due to the chaos.
1:16 insert African guy meme 😂😂😂
🛡️ I want problems…always!
Btw I had ITP autoimmune dealing with my family. Left all of them.
Wow makes a lot of sense
What is the difference between narcissistic vs autistic?
Theyre opposites i would say. Im autistic myself and i have been abused by people with npd and by people with cptsd. Autistics have much higher affective empathy, but "lower" in the cognitive neurotypical empathy(and thats just because our operative systems are different) autistics are npt narsisissts, but I do know a few narsisisstics like to blame it on their non existing autism.
@@itb7439 thank you for responding it does help clear up a bit .
Narcs have no empathy. Autistic people have trouble expressing their empathy. Narcs are master manipulators. Autistic people are more easily manipulated than nt people.
Autistic people have some mind blindness that might look narcissistic but that's about where the similarities end.
❤
See Internal Family Systems
Omg!
Thank you Richard. 🎉I’m constantly learning. I have an adult child who is a narcissist.
👍👍👍
So this puppy was bred for baiting Lion/Bear hybrids? Li-Bears? Bions? Anybody?? 😂
Weight Gain. At first, the problem is non existant, then, slowly, weight gain.
Geminis?
Your dog was splitting.
SCIENCE
🙋🙋🙋
Immune system weakening effect is so true. To remedy this I started consuming Vit C and D consistently and that has been helping a lot.
❤
Richard, you helped me leave a 20 year relationship with a narcissist!!! It's been almost a year. Thank you! 💗 😊
@@hoppincin thanks 😊 🙏
Hey,he’s help me also been 2 weeks I can sleep again!!!amazing hope your future is full of peace and lots of love 💜🧡🤍
Funny how it’s the narcissist want us to go to therapy and then the therapist tries to save us and they blame us or the therapist, and want to sit on the sessions.
Seeing him exchanging from devil to angel in front of you, even after the break up.
Never had I experienced anything like that and I 'm 45. I have imposed no contact strictly to avoid witnessing this thing. And yet, I still witness it each time he breaks my no contact at work. No wonder why I haven't healed yet.
I always felt like I was married to two men. One really awful and one extremely kind
My mother and brothers are npd...my mom, the pack leader hated my father and myself. She is dead now but we were tormented by her back stabbing and then fake love towards us both, cognitive dissonance to the max...I recently was talking to my oldest brother on a regular basis because I had to and it ended badly of course...I was doing so well too now I'm ruminating like mad and beating myself up...pure torture!!! I'm sure he hasn't given it a second thought...when he as telling me off I could here the sense of almost erotic pleasure he received from it, it was so strange his voice was almost demonic. My histrionic/npd mother RUINED my life..
I feel so lost, alone and humiliated to the max. You have saved my life Richard, I honestly mean that... thank you again.
Addisons Disease = Adrenal Insufficiency caused by covert narcissist husband. It almost killed me before diagnosis, weighed 96lbs.
my immune system became non existent. i am basically permanently sick. mostly in the respiratory system, always coughing and sneezing; especially after being with them…
Yes my crohns disease triggers my immune system
My crohn’s too.
When I'm around a meat suit parasite, my gut will keep going too. I lost 5ft of terminal ileum and the ileocecal valve by literally ignoring my gut. Fast forward and if I stick to clean food, no wheat or GMO junk, no roundup... and no assholes... then I have no disease. Our bodies can only take so much before they give out.
Out of curiosity, did any of you find yourself also isolated because of autoimmune diseases… perhaps making it more susceptible to this personality type ?
I was in a cult, unknowingly recruited at 15 yrs old. Got out of it and my abusive marriage, in my 60s. Im now disabled, fighting suicidal thoughts. Trying to survive and understand
Keep going hon🙏
Elaine, I'm so sorry for what's happened to you 😢
@@starlingswallow thank you
Hang in there my friend
Very helpful video, thank you 🙏. I finally blocked my probably NPD partner yesterday after a week of trying to negotiate a civil split. He did just as you said - cycled between victimhood, tyranny, blame, coercion, begging and lecturing- all within minutes.
Your videos have helped educate me over the last year so that I have been able to step away with a true understanding of what was happening (and still is in my head!) and why.
I think these people present like a Trojan horse. Seemingly ideal. Until you believe they are benign and wonderful. Then they let out the monsters from the hollow shell: the liar, the victim, the persecutor, the false sage, the preaching parent… This relationship led me to lose almost all sense of self or agency. Anxiety, fear, confusion, second guessing self, worsening of autoimmunes, loss of hope and being fed breadcrumbs of it to keep you in it… the list goes on.
In the end it was destroying the shared fantasy that enabled me to leave. But first I had to understand exactly what constituted that.
I feel desperately sad for NPDs - it’s not their fault. But it’s not mine either, or yours. And not ours to fix.
It is important to understand, also, our own part in remaining so that we do not repeat it again.
Fantastic work Richard
Arye correct, I'm a retired Blackbelt kickboxer, but when I was with both my ex-npd wives when married, despite training regularly, and eating reasonably healthy daily, I would blow up in weight.
When doing the same amount of training and healthy eating when I was single, the weight would fly off me.
Spot on.
Thanks Richard.
Yup. Cortisol is a thing... and stress changes our gut species.
@@samanthabraun217 yep, and it's them evil guts that cause it on us.
Blessings.
Evil gits soz.
Hi Richard my daughter is the narcissist and dealing with her we shared a house with her and her family so they could own a house.
This ultimately has made me and my husband so sick it is crazy.
I have had my rheumatoid arthritis so bad we are having trouble stabilizing it and I had a chronic pneumonia for three years.
My husband had his blood flow cut off when he sat down in the bathroom christmas eve and collapsed on the floor and had my son in law not moved him he would have died.
We eventually had to buy a fifth wheel to put on the property to get us out of the house so we could start to heal physically,then I started therapy with your courses and outside therapist.
Three years on we are starting to physically and mentally starting to stabilize but we cannot be in contact with our daughter really at all.
We are at the point that we want to move to another province closer to our son and his family because it is so much healthier.
Our daughter almost killed us and we are in our early fifties this is not a joke and it was so hard for us to understand what was happening.
I know the theories around narcissism, but your story about the dog, made me wonder, if it's a trauma respond to bullying and violence?
It is.
7 months this time, how do I get past it. Full knowledge of NPD just surfaced! OMG!
@@PriscillaD-ie2jq Examples of verbal abuse:
- name-calling
- guilt trips
- gaslighting
- criticism
- threats
- blaming
- manipulation
- humiliation
- spreading lies
- minimizing someone's experiences of feelings
- screaming
Good stuff! I feel like a narcissist is more like a dog who barks behind a fence, then does nothing when the fence opens
I now have multiple sclerosis 😢
We decided to go separate way as he had major issues “and he wouldn’t make me stay and make me isolated from my family” and on this video call, I was desperate loosing it because of the upcoming breakup, I remember him just lying on the bed as we were talking about weather - nothing in his face changed. No stress no sadness no fear. Just ice cold preparing for the “cold shower” breakup as he called it . Last breakup: same picture. Nothing in his face showed some kind of feeling. In hindsight I understand what was going on. At this time it was just crazy for me to see. But now I know he switched from one state to that cruel cold sick state of absolute emptiness in his soul.
strategies:
be strong by making others weak (evil)
be strong by making others strong (holy)
🤔An ex would often say: "I'm VERY Black and White".
Too bad I didn't know what that really meant; in terms of attitude, outlook, mindset, perception, behaviour, and personal accountability.
She is _all_ for Division, Separation and Conflict - and she can have as much of it as she desires.☣
It seems to me that they are so false to the outside world that they can’t maintain it for long periods of time and it actually wears them out and sends them crazy. In my experience Narcassists need a lot of down time alone and I believe this is because they are always exhausting themselves playing their own game. They also don’t actually understand how to interact with people properly
Perfect video! ❤
Please Pin this video, Richard!
Yes, wasn't this one amazing? 🙌🏾
Hey been waiting for this