Danish my heart goes out to you for having to had grown up with a parent like that. My ex is 💯 as you explained in this video and would actually boast that he causes havoc. I use to think he was joking until I was stuck in his sick world. Thank God 🙏 I've escaped and I hope you have too.
Every word you said is so true I went through the same trauma with this monster I had for 28 years it drained me totally and have high blood pressure now because of all the stress I went through I kicked him out last year but he's still trying his manipulation he wanted to stay friends with me so now he tells everyone he still looks after me and they all think the sun shines out of his arsh ha ha he's got a new girlfriend (supply) lately and tells me he's so in love with her just to stick it up me again so I said have a happy life with her and our ties are cut forever good luck to his new girlfriend this selfish snake will never change I told him very often a Leopard doesn't change its spots 😂
narcissists wake up everyday and think: 1-how can i use other people to advance my interests? 2-how can i mentally and physically destroy other people for my amusement? 3-make sure that my mask doesn't slip off so people don't see that i am really a swirling vortex of darkness, with no core identity. 4-how many lies do i need to tell myself that i am smarter, better and more entitled than everyone else? cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
I used to ask my mom, "Is someone paying you to act this way"? She would just look a little surprised and confused. Then other times down the road, she would just give a quick little sheepish grin.
That is so true. My next door neighbor is a full blown Nar and also a witch. She once said, I get done what I need to get done. She's talking about her evil and witching because her whole life is centered on doing just that. At 6 am she is out in the street putting on a show and I ain't kidding. I have never seen her go to a job in the whole 23 years she has lived on this street.
I couldn't help but laugh at the start when the narc went "Let me hydrate myself - after all it requires a lot of energy to create chaos" . Accurate description, btw.
Yes they hydrate themselfs, no joke. Is there any posibility they only drink certain brand or type of water like pure, or spring or alcaline... and that their food has to be expensive and organic and so on...?
100% accurate. My father would go into a rage, terrorize the household, then fall asleep like a baby as if nothing happened. When in public with the outside world the mask would come on where he would be sweet and kind so much so they would comment on such a wonderful husband my mother had. It was a disguise so complete no one would ever suspect what a monster he was and if we were to confide in someone outside the home, no one would believe us and think we are the liars. It's very devious game they play all to their benefit. Growing up that way , I did pay the price but luckily I was smart enough to observe how other families were and I knew my father was nuts. That's what made me know what I was experiencing was not normal. He's now dead 17 years and I promised myself I would never shed one tear when he died. I kept that vow. Up until that point I shed tears my whole life and I wasn't about to shed one for him. The death was more of a relief than anything else.
Our story aligns Everday misery He sit and watch you trying stir something Like ‘ you haven’t said anything to me yet, are you mute, what am I invisible.. you like ignoring your parents? Ungrateful and raised you and paid for you, You owe me. I was scared of him bc he was verbal physically violent Humans were dirt to him
It may sound bad but truthfully I'm looking forward to the day my extreme Narc mother passes. I can't wait for that relief you got. But with my luck, she'll live to be like 100.
Living with them is absolute hell. So much noise & chaos, even walking they make the floor shake. Slam every door, coughing, snoring on & on. Total nightmare 😮
There was a small channel a while back that did a piece on Narcissists and snoring-this is something so many of them do its crazy. It's like even when they actually do sleep subconsciously they still have to punish their targets somehow.
Excellent and very accurate video. My narcissistic father would barge into my room or bang on the door anytime of the day that he wanted. He never let me rest or have any privacy in my room. And there was no such thing as a normal meal at the dining table. Meals were his lecturing platform. I got to the point where I couldn't even sit at the dinner table with my father. I would eat after everyone had eaten and have to take the food into my room to eat in peace.
I hear you. Being around a narc, one is never at peace physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, or intellectually. It's constant walking on eggshells. They feel entitled to snoop into other's people's rooms, and go through their things, having no respect for personal boundaries. The only time a victim can have peace temporarily is when the narc is sleeping and permanently when the narc is no longer on the planet.
Yup that's right one must leave the house in order to relax and that's a life long situation or you can fully relax once they've split! Mom got a great kick out of yelling "What are you doing?" At any given time "Nothing" I'd answer "Well stop it" was her reply, very funny, see ya never mom, guess it's mail an Xmas card time soon but it's really for the staff!
The narc barging into peoples rooms seem to be a common practice of the narc - perhaps to "catch" the "prey" off guard. And as a kid - what are you going to do ? Stuck until you are of age to escape.
@@HuHWhat-yi8cp "Stuck until you are of age to escape" - This reminds me of a conversation I had as a 13 year old with a really good friend of mine. Please let me know if i can share this experience.
@@HuHWhat-yi8cpyep. It’s basically what I dealt with as a child. I had a female narcissistic frenemy during the early 2000s who would always be the first to arrive at the house for parties thrown by my narcissistic parents.. one time she went into my bedroom, and looked through my things… at the age of 10 already I was thinking “the s she stealing something?” She also treated me like dirt while we were growing up, and did rotten stuff to me such as taking photos of me being sexually assaulted by a young boy then showing me the photos in 2009. Today, she LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE THE VIETNAMESE AMERICAN VERSION OF JAMIE LYNN SPEARS AND ALSO THE FEMALE VERSION OF COUSIN MIKE. Karma is a B! lmao my narc mother would compare me to her and triangulate me with her for over reason during my formative years.
The morning wash my hands of responsibility for yesterday, and changing masks throughout the day based on what "victim" I'm talking to: Bravo!! Nailed it. Plus, loved the theater!
Could not agree more! Always more intelligent, more important, more more more. So bothered by others inability to be as smart. Never a good morning morning, never positivity...
My mom would wake up at 5 also and her mom. Both my mom and dad would barge in my room at anytime of the day and yell at me over anything. Even if it had nothing to do with me or something wasnt my fault. Or yelling at me to do something. I never had rest. My dad even broke my door lock when i locked the door so everyone would quit barging in to bother me. I was always tense, scared and unsure what would happen next. Im a ENFJ-T and highly empathic. So i absorbed the negative emotions way to strongly when my parents (mom mainly) and siblings ganged up on me. Im so glad to be 6 years no contact and free. My life is so much better and im slowly healing. ❤
My dad was similar, he broke my doorframe once banging on the door bc I was taking too long to get ready (I had it locked bc I was changing, and it had been MAYBE 3 minutes). I'm an INFJ and also felt the negativity very intensely. Still working through the PTSD 10 years later.
@@SqueakySassy my bff is INFJ-T. been friends since I was 9. She is 16 years older then me and I'm now 32. We are roommates I joke our relationship is like a married couple. That's how close we are in knowing each other (we are both straight just for context)
I'll bet your startle response (at one point) was off the charts. I don't remember all those personality identifiers is it Empath for the E? Your situation sounds a lot like mine. So much later in life I HAVE to have a ton of alone time or Im stressed.
So true, my husband sleeps so fast like nothing bathers him. It hurt to grow up by a narraisst mother and then married to a narraisst man lord have mercy on me
I don’t understand how I went from narc parent to narc husband either I think that initially I recognized I strong character that could overthrow and shut down my parent if it came to that. But I found that the attitude was more.. it was narcissistic
Same here. Narc mom to narc husband. Unfortunately, I didn't know he was one untill just recently. He's already chased away one of our sons and has totally blamed me for it
Danish, your example of the breakfast misery with your father reminds me so much of sit down dinners with my first husband. Always picking a fight with me or one of the kids, making them feel bad about themselves or making up rules about the food, then daring me to intercede on the kids behalf. After many years of the fighting I finally started to withdraw myself during the meal so the kids could have a more enjoyable meal without overt fight between their parents. I started to eat my meals in my room or eat after everyone was finished. Then once we got a divorce and to this day, the kids say to me "remember how you never wanted to eat dinner with the family"? No matter how many times I explain it was to save them from overt hostility at the meal time, they still don't believe me. My husband would pick fights with me on the way to church or at church, so eventually I stopped going, because I didn't want it to be a horrible experience for my children. Still to this day, they say to me "Mom, you never wanted to be with us at church". This fed right into their father's narrative, that he was the only one who wanted a close knit family, it was me who was stopping that from happening. smh.
How old are your children? I've been happily divorced for several years now, but in the beginning, my children would say/feel/do the same things you mentioned (we shared them 50/50). Then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, they came home from school and decided they were done. They refused to leave with him. The police were even called and they told them they were scared of him. Which they were! They finally SAW him for who he REALLY WAS! It wasn't some notable incident or anything crazy. They were just done. They were old enough to realize who was the problem. I pray that happens for you too! Children are very intuitive. They know who is genuine and who is putting on a show. Put your trust in God. Praying for you, UA-cam friend!! Don't lose hope! These videos saved me! Xoxo
@@shandi1102 My oldest is 31. It has been almost 17 years since my divorce. And "yes", they do see certain things about their father like certain behaviors, but they brush it off and make excuses for it. His alcoholism, same thing. They try to make excuses for it. Cognitive dissonance maybe, not sure. Recently they were at his house for Thanksgiving and he took one of my sons aside and told him that he only cheated on me, so I would divorce him and he could get custody of the children. My son called me up and asked me about this right afterwards. I was astonished. Why? Other than just to get inside my son's head and cause chaos. I said "how would that even work?' "that's not how that works". But the point was to make it look like he all along wanted a family and kids, but I didn't. 17 years after the fact. I am so thankful for these videos. It is certainly helping me unpack my trauma. Thank you for your prayers, I know the truth, and I have that on my side.
I hope you have found it in yourself to understand that eventually, your children will see and understand on their own. If not, please don't spend the rest of your life trying to prove yourself. You did what you could with the cards you were dealt. And even if they never believe or understand you, know that there are those of us out here that feel and understand what you've gone through. You deserve to live the rest of your life with as much joy and peace as possible.
Your life with Narcissist becomes nothing but one big " Chaos". You have beautifully explained their behaviour here. Its like a horror story getting mapped to your real life ....
It’s so true what you said about the narcissist not letting us sleep. I lived with a narcissistic aunt for 18 years of my life, she’s a covert narcissist. It’s interesting that she would do “landscaping” at odd hours just outside my window to mess with my rest. She would also slam the cabinet next to my bedroom. I just got chills thinking about all the stress I lived with for almost 2 decades. I’m 35 now and I just moved out about 2 weeks ago (after a narcissist discard). I went no contact (took advantage of the discard lol).
I get the opposite which I'm up for (one fully no contact with and didn't she go into being an even crappier wife and mom than ours, bro's just blocked and as an adulterer he didn't fair much better but I'm truly sick of hearing it!
@@GGVanilla Let them be. If they seem to have only aspect to the good memories is because their psyche cannot look at it for what it is. This is a trick of the brain for them to survive. Don't try to push your vision of it on them. You might break their psyche for real. You know what happened, you don't need their validation. It's frustrating, but don't shatter the illusion. They need the illusion to hold it together.
@@makutumafwa7496oh you bring up an interesting aspect. In my adventure growing up in a narcissist controlled train wreck of a childhood my siblings wont ever talk about any of it to anyone. And that is especially between ourselves as it's done and it's over and that was a long time ago and to say that I have never gotten over it and that I am the problem for being like that. And that is truly terrible that I've never grown out of it. Especially like to tell me 'you know how you've gotten over it'. The hidden can never be open because that would be the cause of bringing them down way too hard. It's really hard to accept what you said but it really has got to be done. Let them be. Thank you!
Being tortured by my exremely narcissistic mother for my entire lifetime, finally I realize why I could not live peacefully ever. It was an attempt to solve the unsolvable problem! Yes!!!! Somebody had to say this and Danish, you are doing this great act of healing!!!! May God Bless You Danish with all the love and happiness! My entire life has been revolving around trying to make peace with my extremely narcissistic mother who has made all the possible attempts to control every single act of my life, and your advice comes so much important and as a savior! I have realized that it is impossible to work towards changing the behaviour of the narcisstic and now I have taken the courage to stay away from the narcissistic mother! She had always taken undue advantage of my efforts towards filfilling my duties as a son towards her.... But not anymore!!! Gone are those days now!!! I pray that God Bless You Danish ❤
One of the cruelties of this is that narcissists are so charming and likeable to the outside world. If you're unaware of people like this, you can be sucked into such a damaging relationship and by then it's too late. You're entrapped. In your case, there was nothing you could do as an innocent child. How you have come through and do what you do now is commendable. The trauma that the one on the receiving end requires patience, time, therapy and healing. I still have triggers, realisations, memories and suppose it will always be there and something to be aware of for the rest of my life. Your work on these talks are incredibly helpful. Thank you so much. ❤
You’re spot on Danish, I’m certain my narcissistic next door neighbour spends his nights planning the chaos he can cause the next day. He’s relentless even though my wife and I haven’t reacted in any way to his antics for two years ( even though sometimes we’ve wanted to ) It appears there is no end to his despicable anti social behaviour, he’s claims to be an ontraporneau but appears to do NOTHING all day but target us while his wife works long hours ! So sorry to hear what you went through growing up Danish, I sincerely hope you’ve found happiness now and have escaped your abusers ❤️❤️ Thank you Danish, love your channel 👍
I lived in a neighborhood once where a nasty neighbor was harassing an Elder parent with their disabled Vet son. Well, overnight that son put up nice straight wall of mirrored squares on nasty neighbors side. When they came out with their latest plan, all they saw was their ugly mug. 🤝🤣
Oh let me guess retired or some lame excuse why he can't work? Sadly the best part of his wife's day is probably leaving for work. Been there. You can't even enjoy any aspect of your own home. Nothing is sacred.
Hey Danish, I recently found your channel and I have say your videos have been so highly therapeutic for me. Thank you for spreading your knowledge and experience helping others on their path to healing. Let it begin indeed 🌻
DEAR Daniella In Agreement with you Hun.thank you so much.may God Grant you your Hearts desires and may Your Dreams come TRUE Sweetheart in JESUS NAME With MUCH LOVE 💕 From Somewhere in OKLAHOMA 🙏🌹🙏
My husband now. We’ve been together 36 years. Married 33. If he died today I don’t know if I could cry. He terrorized the family, beat me, cheated, and is financially abusive. He won’t do anything at home or for the family but if a neighbor, friend, or even stranger needs help he will spend all day helping them. He would wake in a bad mood and wake the whole house! Going room to room to yell at the kids and me. His family was terrified to make him mad. He tried to turn our kids against me once they were older. He was never there when I was raising them. It’s been pure hell! I tried to divorce him twice. He hurt himself called the police and had me thrown in jail! They have zero empathy. I’m now receiving vengeance because I contacted an old girlfriend he cheated with and she confirmed it. He is now giving me the silent treatment (one of several through the years) he told me I am the one who went too far looking at his past when he was gaslighting and abusing me. Never ending. I wish I had left 36 years ago.
Danish, you are brilliant in the way you present the narcissist. After any one of you reads this, please know I am open to suggestions. As a young adult, I've gone to doctors to figure out what was wrong with my mother. I never had motherly love, could never be my true self, endured emotional torment as well as physical abuse, and now I'm expected to take care of my mother in her old age. What's worse, or just as bad, is she has hurt my husband and son. My dad just passed away, and he was my protector growing up. Narcissism is a deadly disease, as it kills the person one is trying so desperately to be. It can take hold of one's immune system as well, and cause chronic illness. So sorry that so many people are hurting. Love to all ❤.
DEAR Leslie Bless you're ❤. thank you very much.may God Grant you your Hearts desires and may Your Dreams come TRUE Sweetheart in JESUS NAME With MUCH LOVE 🙏🌹🙏 from somewhere in OKLAHOMA 🙏💖🙏
OMG, I started laughing, and couldn’t stop. Not because what you are saying is funny, but that I remembered from my childhood, that my narcissistic father would do the exact same things! sometimes it feels good to laugh. Otherwise one would just cry living that way.
Woah your act is almost EXACTLY the words my father uses about us. My sister went no contact ten years ago and is thriving and has a loving family. Now its my turn.
It never ceases to amaze me, it’s like these people play from the narcissistic playbook. I just wonder how it is that the narcissist, no matter who they are always does the same things that is just a mind blowing thing for me. 5:29
Becuase it’s a spirit that dwells in them and control their behaviour .. that’s why Jesus said “you must be born again “, become born of the spirit of God ..
Very true but they all put their own twist on it. The one i know claims he falls into his wife's bedroom door at night making it slam against the wall waking her up and scaring her. They are both elderly and have their own rooms. He cannot sleep, he's up in his room at night banging around and dropping things. Or he is shouting out claiming he has fallen but he never has any injuries.
This gave me flashbacks & the video had barely started. My Mom would kick my bedroom door open & start ranting before my alarm went off scaring the Hell out of me. By the time I was 10 I dreaded sitting down at the breakfast table with her. I cried all the way to elementary school most days. She'd bitch about me, her young daughter, long and loud to anyone who would listen. She drained the life out of me but fooled outsiders soooo easily who thought she was a sweet, kind woman. 🙄 And yes, my Mom's favorite activities were gossiping, badmouthing others & fighting with family members.
omg, I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom was such a monster! And the devastating effect her behaviour had on you! I can empathize because I know my Mom bitches about me behind my back. She also fools others into thinking that she's such a nice person, but really, she's not. She has toxic personality traits: she constantly criticizes other people behind their back, she's very judgemental and can be spiteful and vindictive. I recently cut her out of my life due to her appalling behaviour towards me and I have NO regrets. Life is already so much better without her.
Wow.. the voice change was so accurate, specially the change when speaking to a colleague.. the false gentle, concerned, sweet , syrupy voice speaking about having missed them (gag)..... all so clear when u know the word narcissist or psychopath... but so very baffling when one does not know about these disorders and is witnessing these different masks ... which leads the victim to believing that the narc is a good person because he behaves so well with others and somehow it is their own (the victim's) behaviour which enrages the narc and hence they, the victim, must be at fault somehow...so on point!! Their glee at battering their family is not just at psychological battering which is almost an everyday routine, of course, but sometimes even physically battering their small helpless children and even spouse (if situation permits)..
I know this is an extremely serious subject. I myself am recovering from narcissistic abuse, so I know the pain and the agony. But I have to take time out to give Danish props for the video he made illustrating a narcissists day. I especially loved the loud obnoxious coffee slurping, the casual plotting self talk, and the masks and phone calls. So, so true. BTW, yesterday I was blamed for being the one to set the boundary. Of course, I wrote a very lengthy heartfelt reply and received an answer of “OK” in return. 🙄🙄🙄
I agree. The video of the narcissist's day was extremely entertaining. I literally laughed aloud. Around such a serious subject, it is imperative to introduce occasional humor to break the tension. I'm sharing these videos on social media.
Narcissists must be putting a lot of effort to make people suffer around them. Sometimes I try behave the same way like my narcissistic mother as type of vengeance... not only she cant handle 5 minutes of it, I find these behaviors exhausting and uncomfortable to do.
Hello Danish. I had to do my foreign language homework under the covers with a flashlight, due to my Father insisting that I go to sleep early. After I learned, for hours, a dialog of 4 people, to recite in class, I couldn't speak a word at school. My throat closed up. I was required to prepare for college, throughout all of those years, acc. to my Father and had to begin right away, after a strenuous time, in school and out, throughout High School. I left home at 17 to leave, with the help of an older family member, to a college elsewhere. I battled for that. I didn't want to do household chores and try to study in that noisy, stressful place, a combat zone, called 'home.' I basically, never lived at home again and visits were not easy, as I awoke to loud piano music, which my Mother proudly played, despite my Jet lag. My Brother joined the Navy. An Officer said something to all of the young men standing there, before him. My Brother laughed. The Officer singled him out and asked why was he laughing. ' Was something that funny?' My Brother replied, 'you know, this is the most peaceful place I have ever been.' The Officer didn't expect that answer at all. There's more that I have learned from my Siblings lately. I wish that I would have been there for them. My Sister was beaten by my Father, for coming home too late. I had no phone or TV as a student. They couldn't contact me. Later, I was once even told by my Mother, that I had deserted my Sisters. Maybe my Siblings missed something during my absence, but they did, after all, have a Mother. I was older than them. I just was living my life and I was still doing what they wanted, by going to college. One of my Sisters called me 'Mama.' Actually, earlier, my Brother and I decided to 'adopt' our little Sisters. Then we'd see who would be more successful. We disregarded our Parents, who disregarded us, to battle each other and we carried out our plan. They didn't even notice. My Sister recently told me that she always did so well in school, because I had told her everything. As a child, I saved my Brother from drowning in the lake, me at 3 , he was 2, one Sister from being run over in a parking lot, me at 9, she was 3 and the other from drowning in a ditch filled with black, thick sewer water, at age 10, she was 2. Those aren't the only events. Where were our Parents, somewhere but not by our side. They left it to me I suppose. Later, my Father liked it, that I was far away and my Mother wanted me to return home. I once visited and applied for jobs, in her city, but then the side of town, where I had applied, didn't suit her at all. I was puzzled, shocked and very hurt. Wasn't I doing what she asked? My Brother always said that I had done the best thing and said, 'no wonder she moved 8000 miles away.' In fact, they all moved out of the city, but not as far as me. By the way, our 2 little Sisters are both extremely successful, with career, their own home and family. They did 'better' than us. Yes Danish, your videos hit like a metal hammer, on a tuning fork. It resonates for a while. It helps to mentally understand, what the heck happened. Thank you. ❤
Each n every word you said is correct. He never let me sleep. He sleeps in seconds. He can't see me sleeping and wakes me up with all the silly reasons. If he can't do that then he makes all types of sounds. Very energetic and my energy vampire as u said. Danish , literally u seem like a God to me. Thq u. God bless u with abundant amount of health, energy n courage.
You are so clairvoyant in your video I learned narcissism 10yrs after I escaped from my home Someone said narc. Behave as though demon possessed I believe that. They find your weakness and cause distress and misery and feed on it Nothing was me He was a monster 😥 My mother suffered Siblings I could tell you everything jaw dropping He always wanted your money I got in trouble many times for being sick( bedridden) I always broke I have fear of banks bank cards phones people knocking on doors in house. House bell ring Cars coming in driveway I prayed for help
I didnt know my sister was a malignant narissist when i took her with me moving out of my malignant mothers home. 9 years of hell. So many horror stories there would not be enough books to fill. This was my little sister that i loved and was always there for & she knew it. The last thing she told me when the mask completely came off after I grey rocked her for 3 months giving her no more 'supply'. Her last words were. Said not in a rage but directly & coldly "I hate you. Ive always hated you". "I always knew i was like mum". Like she confessed at the end. I asked a male friend to come over to remove her from the home that day never to return. He said to her. "You dont get to live with someone you hate"
It sounds like she was so seething with jealousy of you all along and was 'comparing' herself to you all along and comparing the relationship with your mother to the point that she even came to 'imagine' herself as the mother. I'm glad you have a friend that is willing to back you.
Feel so sad for your suffering as a child... it is really wonderful you have used all that pain to educate and heal other survivors.. may God bless you!
This video made me feel so bad for Danish. He genuinely seems to be such a kind person I hate to imagine how his father did that awful stuff to him and his siblings I’m sure. Even though he is an expert on the subject we should continue to pray for healing for Danish too because it may take an entire lifetime to recover.❤
I lived this, he would Never let me rest or sleep. He was loud, rude and obnoxious when he would get ready for work, or come home. If he wanted to keep me in the house while he watched tv, then he would want me to be asleep so I wasn't on a call or talking to anyone but him. Escaping that became my goal. Im so glad I did. Thank you for all of your wisdom Danish!
I'm happy for you Danish that you survived and are here now: supporting us all who have gone through hell and not understanding this challenging phenomenon. ❤
You are absolutely correct ! It seems like they only want to do others dirty , tell lies on them and treat them like crap , mental abuse , they treat those who they have fooled into thinking their perfect really good and do favors for them but that's only to have a supply of people who will say how great they are ! They treat others like crap and verbally engage with them only for the purpose of making them mad ir insulting them ! It's absolutely crazy , and they are too ! But yet they KNOW what their doing and are psychopaths and constantly need attention ! I didn't know there were people so demented and evil out there but there are !
My mom would wake up early at 4:30am every morning to turn off the hot water heater when I was a kid just to make sure my shower was as cold as possible ❄👌 That's how much the narcissist hate us and Enjoy inflicting suffering to others as their 1st thought on their mind. Thank you so much for everything you've done in helping everyone this past year 💛🙏Many many Blessings to you! 💛
Warm greetings to all! Around the 12 minute mark when he talked about narcissists making noise on purpose when you are entitled to sleep, I thought: what about when they wake you up to ask if you’re sleeping 😮😊
The wicked cannot sleep at night without causing someone else grief. Disturbing peace is their entire purpose. I don’t understand how a self aware narcissist could continue serving the devil.. tell them what they are, tell them to repent, and leave! Vengeance is the lords and these narcissists hate God. Their dupers delight will surely be their downfall.
From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA DEAR DANISH… thank you so much for these awesome really well done, hilarious videos. Keep them coming. You are such a blessing and we love you so much.
@xDanishBashir01-xq7qk letting you know that Danish has told us that this is not him AND TO REPORT YOU…so I have reported you. You are a and a con artist.
Their routine is to abuse you while they obsessively clean the house and pretend they are perfect lol😅..❤this was a perfect video...love the 😷 🎭 masks 🎉
Holy shit…you too, huh?? But it’s not actually clean here…it’s all just my & my son’s belongings all shoved into closets & corners. And he steals stuff as he goes…
After watching many of your videos I am convinced my mother is a narcissist. I think a covert one. We were raised to be in fear of her though. That’s how she kept us in line. Emotional, mental, and physical abuse. Now that I’m 51 and she’s 70 she has a tendency to rewrite history A LOT. Almost everything you talk about fits her. The one thing she doe’s constantly now though (she did not do it while my sister and I were growing up) is self deprecation. She will say “I’m not smart” or “if I could just think, I would’ve thought of that, but I can’t”. However, if anyone else put her down, she would be raging mad. Even if she THOUGHT someone was condescending towards her she would get raging mad. She used to tell my sister and I that our smarts (it was demanded we do well in school) came from her. She and my father divorced when I was a baby and she never had anything nice to say about him. I guess my question is (if someone has experienced this) does a narcissist put themselves down repeatedly maybe looking for someone to disagree and build them up? It is so irritating and I just ignore it most of the time. God bless you Danish. I’m so glad I found your channel. Prayers to all that have dealt with or are dealing with a narcissist in your life. Once you realize it and see it, it is glaringly obvious. I’ve only really realized this about my mother in the last 7 months or so. It’s hard to navigate 😕
I have realized over the past year or so that my mom is probably a covert narcissist. She knows she is doing wrong towards others. She doesn’t do everything that Danish talks about, but she is so competitive and always fishing for compliments by saying how old she is going to be next birthday. It sounds like your mom is fishing to by saying she’s not that smart. I think if you want to shit her up and make her stop using this tactic, you can probably just say, “Sorry.” Nothing else. One word answers are the best in dealing with people like this. No point in ever defending yourself against accusations, you’re just going to wear yourself out.
@@patnelson2091 that is the best idea. I have learned to really control my emotions bc I can see she loves any kind of emotions out of me. The self deprecation isn’t REAL self deprecation I don’t believe bc she didn’t always do this. She used to run her own business for crying out loud. And she will still talk about that even tho it was 30+years ago. I think she is fishing for compliments also. “Sorry” is a good response. Thank you 👍
Hello Aleigha, Yes - they’re actors- they want you to feel sorry for them- (when they cause ALL the problems/ chaos…) I know exactly what you are saying… I noticed they Want Sympathy and also to agree how they think, When they PLAY those Evil Games… For myself, I went No Contact(.)!!! One Great thing out of All of this evilness-- I have gotten Even Closer to Our Heavenly Father!!!!! 🙌❤️🤗 Thank you, JESUS!!!!! John 3:16 KJV Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV Get Saved now- Time is short. Hugging you and will Pray for you and your Family, right now. Have a Blessed Weekend!!! ❤❤❤
They do that so you will sympathize and they can think look how weak you are for loving me when I degrade you.,but constant lying and dismissing good dietary advice takes its toll on the most Machiavellian of brains and they find themselves using the only neuron superhighway they remember abusing you.
My mom would yell at me to wake up for school, she would never be kind to wake me it was always open the door and yell to wake up no matter my age, she would shame me if I needed to nap yet she would nap all the time so relatable
Your video reminded me when I was a child growing up with an N-Mother. She was a night owl and would make it impossible to get to sleep with all of her banging and stomping and TV high volume until 2 or 3:00am. Then us-kids would have to wake up at 5:00 to do farm chores before getting ready for school. If we made one single peep that woke her up she would come flying out of her room in a rage and beat the first kid she could reach!!! Bathroom power was a big manipulation tool she always used too. We were allowed to use the bathroom ONLY when she said, and Number 2 was always the biggest delight of torture in her day! In the middle of this very private time in our day, she would whip the door open with a bang and scream "hurry up, hurry up". Then a barrage of insults about how nasty, stinky, filthy and shitty we were for having to use her precious toilet for our unclean rottenness. She would then inspect while we cleaned ourselves and humiliate us as loudly as possible even when we were meticulous. All of us 3 now-elderly-kids have suffered life-long digestive issues due to having to hold and go depending on the whims of an evil manipulator.
As you've probably learned, that's a lot more mental illness than just Narcissism. Sexual abuse for one, invading personal physical privacy, inspection privates, abusive comments about your body, functions. As a child gets all mixed up the abuse settles in that entire area of the body. I went thru it too first 14 years only. Now in my seventh decade, with same tum issues. But, great free life 🦋
Back then when i lived with my malignant alcoholic narc father and my overtlishy narc grandmother i got waked up at 6/5 am from yelling and screaming when they got in fight for some trivial matter, it was as if someones really going to be killed, particularly my grandmother. I never understood why she had to provoke him every day when he used to grab the knife i got severe anxiety and panic attacks because of my worry for her safety. After some time i noticed that though they fight she didnt seem affected at all able to vontinue her day and routine as if nothing happen but i felt worse and worse. That was their usual routine. Evening was almost the same, when he got drunk he liked to start some controversial topic or discuss some relatives to provoke my grandmother, it never changed until she got bedridden and started forgetting things.
That's 100% accurate, thanks, Danish. My mother's the same, has the same routine since I know her for 41 years, wake up, call the only relatives who didn't go no contact with her, gossip, complain about those who went NC, gossip about other relatives, talk about food, food, food and personal needs and devise plans on how to meet those personal needs (usually, at the expense of other people), eat, eat, eat, gossip with her husband, watch TV and sleep. Next day is the exact same thing almost like a copy of the previous day. It's scary and thank God I'm not like her :)
This is so accurate! You are describing all that is so painful that, while it was happening to me, I was unable to fight back. Now I am widowed and although I work with a grade A bully I can create boundaries and maintain my privacy and respect. Thankyou for your excellent advice in all your videos. I watch avidly. ❤
So relatable subject. And allthe comments here from everyone is the same experiences i had with narc mother. She was crazy as hell and i still have no idea how im still alive. One example is when i used to live with her, i used to sleep in a small room with big windows she created in the living room because i had two little sisters who had their room and i didn't care to sleep in that tiny room. The house is very small so everything is very close to each other. She used to watch the TV untill around 3am every night with the sound extremely high. And it was almost above my head because the place is small. I sometimes tried to test what she would do and how cruel she really is so i would turn back and forth on bed because it was hard to sleep. And she would do and say nothing just laughing at the TV. Only when i would yell at her cruelty and tell her to turn down the volume then she would do so. She always knew i was figuring her out, always called her bluff and sociopathic behaviors. She never liked it that i was doing well like holding down a job and pretty much very simple and regular things that most of us have.. she always seeked total control even if it comes with the destruction of others mental health. They actually want others to be mentally exhausted and unhealthy since its easier to control them that way. Sick! All these comments here are bringing tears to my eyes its so similar its scary. Must be demonic like i always felt and said
Danish, I LOVE your playacting - I LOVE the split screens, the acting, honestly, the makeup (when you were the devil and the angelic one). this helps me laugh and lighten up even while it is confirming my experience. in my current experience, I am seeing such subtleties - no one can believe, it is so hard to tell anyone, they probably are being polite while you tell them so I am no longer trying to be heard. so I come here. this video is absolutely true. even the nuances of "concern" after sabotaging something for me. I know for a fact, so devious. in this way, they are "smart" but I am no longer pretending and being "polite". What I am doing is.......responding in a dispassionate way, not being social, polite, just distancing. absolutely true, this video. I have so many stories growing up. something I also notice is "raising their voice in a sweet way and laughing" to make sure I hear it to "prove to me" how popular and happy they are when they are on the phone but I know they run to tell everyone they know (as well my mother was 10000000% like this) about how I "wronged" her, how "bad it is" that I "did this and am this way". but I know now. this particular narc sleeps with headphones and netflix, a constant barrage of noise, tv always on........talking on the phone LOUDLY so I hear how "popular" she is. I can tell the difference. she tries though to engage me in some innocuous way but I stay stone cold and dispassionate and keep walking. I want to move but haven't been able to - yet. then I will do it while she is at work...........I will disappear. is a porn addict, tv every moment, or like you said, bangs things, looks in my stuff, digs in my trash, always the victim. I'm with you, Danish. so boring.......
Brilliant and accurate. Bless you for your efforts to expose these devious and destructive people. I was raised terrified of my mother....eventually after 2 failed marriages with identical dominating personalities, both were tormentors/abusers and the second one murderous. Over decades of this torment I awakened to the truth. Narcissist's are actors/soul sucking, destroying personalities. AVOID when possible. Shake the dust off and forgive yourself for being deceived.
You nailed it!! ++totally messy personalities head disconnected from body lost souls emotionally unregulated If they try to calm themselves with substance abuse it makes even worse consequences is complete disregard to other people around family members suffer this is why they have to make effort to put different masks changing behaviour verbally toxic living with them like time bomb never know what to expect...
I love this. It's unsettlingly accurate. He wouldn't let me sleep unless he was going to sleep. Sleep was the only peace I had living with him and even then I often had horrible nightmares about him.
The early morning pot-banging certainly ring a few bells! And seeming to drop plates from a great height for effect… And waking one up “considerately” asking if one would like them to make coffee… and never once is there any coffee made. A strange way to “communicate.” It really is a kind of torture.
I'm amazed at how spot on this is about my narcissistic father, especially the sleep deprivation. He was a musician and when he got home at 2 am from a gig, he would pull out his guitar and start playing. I would lay in my bed in a silent rage, knowing I had to go to school the next day, unable to do anything about it because god forbid you provoked the hulking monster. He would then sleep until noon which meant we had to creep around in silence because holy hell would erupt if we made any noise that would wake him up. All I ever wanted to do was get out of the house as soon as possible.
"Ur nothing without me!" I went to university on a financial package which was based on my mother's tax return at the time (these were loans that I paid back to the gov). She'd often use it against me when angry saying that I had no university opportunities without her (though I could have claimed myself as independent at age 18). The chaos was anxiety inducing and chaotic. Kudos for the very relatable and entertaining narcissist kabuki theatre, Danish! Ur so funny! 😅
He would turn the light on and then act surprised that it woke me up. But God forbid I didn't tiptoe, using the light of my phone screen to see, while he was asleep
One thing I’d like to correct in what you said, danish : everybody is NOT the same. We all go through similar problems, have even similar features at times… but the spirit & infinite intelligence is always different for different people. This is why narcissists are born. when they are not given the due credit for their inventions or intelligence or anything that they came up with before the crowd… they turn into the villain & take the due credit in hurtful (overt or covert ways).
My father woke me up in a chaotic loud and physical ways by bouncing my bed as hard as he could, demanding loudly to get up, every morning for school and on the weekends. And during my summer days off. And I’m just realizing that is so abusive to me in so many ways. Pure monsters raised me and including my stepmothers that hated me bcs my Dad used me as his trophy daughter bcs my mother had blonde hair and blue eyes and was beautiful but she never raised me bcs drugs sex alcohol and men and money was more important than I was. She’s even more abusive now in her old age, to me and now my children and their children. I was raised by all malignant narcissists and my own twin😮soulmate husband is even worse than all of them.. thank god for divorce and justice and karma!😮😢😢😢😢😢👁️👁️👁️👁️🕊️
My mother-in-law exhibits the behavior described above, and I feel a strong urge to share this with everyone. If I had been aware of this earlier, perhaps my son wouldn't be facing the challenges associated with a cognitive impairment.The trauma caused by her in my life is not yet curable. Dear God, in this challenging moment, I seek Your guidance and strength. Please help me overcome the difficulties I am facing, and grant me the resilience to navigate through this situation. Provide comfort and solace, and guide me towards the support and solutions that will lead to healing. Amen.
I am so sorry to hear you have to ho through this. I know the pain narcissisit provide can be too unbearable . I hope you get the strength to be stronger and stand for yourself !
The skit is on point. Describes my narc Mum and the narc sibling completely. They are always a victim, “oh I gave so and so money and they are not even thankful”, I’ve come to learn that this is a form of playing victim for narcs and wanting to always be seen as good and perfect people.
My FIL is chaotic. He cannot sit his ass down. He got activities back to back and everyone is clearly exhausted. My inlaws cane to my house early as hell to play with the grandkids, attended our daughters birthday party (which was a few hours) then he wanted to meet for dinner. Dude i don't wanna be around you all damn day. Ugh he never let's you rest
Another huge part of narcissists' daily routine when they're out & about, milling around the city alone is to seek out complete strangers whose facial expressions signal that they're vulnerable (sad, depressed, introspective, tired, in pain, impoverished, worried, shy, unsure, rushing, preoccupied, lonely or just ruminating about dealing with their own narcissistic abusers)& the narc will *_stare that stranger down while wearing a HATEFUL EXPRESSION_* AKA The Stink-Eye.
Toward the end I used to cringe at its presence for the simple fact I was bracing myself for the next episode of conjured chaos and torment. It would take me days to recover but in the end I never did because it became a constant force of psychological bashing and gaslighting. I'm a shadow of myself looking to recover the loss of who I actually am.
Danish has the most peaceful, gentle, healing energy. The content of your videos is so transformative, but I feel I even receive healing just from your energy, Danish. Thank you 💕
Wow he is right on abt the sleep thing...I remember when I was student and living in a studio apt and my narcissistic mother came to visit me. She would wake up at 5 am, start banging pots and pans, cooking etc paying no attention to the fact that I had been studying till late at night and I could hear everything since there is no partition between kitchen and sleeping area in a studio apt...ultimately it became unbearable and I had to ask her to leave.
This was one of your most enlightening videos Danish. To this day I have severe sleep disorder (mine was up by 4:30 am every morning and slammed the front door upwards of a dozen times "waiting for the newpaper".) To this day one of my major self pleasures is going out to dine-alone. My friends ask me why I dont get lonely or feel weird going solo to a restaurant. They have no idea what the abuse around meals was like for us on this channel. Thank you for this particular video it was really eye opening!!!
OMG... This is soooooo satisfying and validating to watch you play this out!!! It's so... almost impossible for people who don't know, to realize that this is how these types of people actually operate in life. Thank you soooo much for this. I'm only 3 minutes in and I've already laughed out loud in solidarity.
Thank you for this video Danish. I always wondered what the narc's thought processes and behaviours were in the normal course of a day. I'm not around my narc that much but I have to see him occasionally for circumstances I can't change. But because I've finally disconnected emotionally from him, he's in a tailspin not understanding why things have changed. He complains about his health and how he's had to discard his family because they are toxic to him and are narcissists (that's the funniest part). He has to move out of his current home because it's his dad's and the house was sold to pay for his father's care in an old folks' home. So he complained he'll have to live in his car. I said to him that his car is spacious and he should be okay until he gets himself settled. He just looked at me when I said that and I could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to find the most guilt laden thing to say so I would ask him to move in with me. Nope, nope, nope. He knows things have changed but he can't adapt and is still trying the old tricks on me, but I'm not biting. I now see him as quite comical and treat him as such. I say the most outrageous, flippant things to him but he keeps coming back and talking to me, even though he says goodbye, I'm not friends with you any more etc etc. He takes great pains to point out that he's not angry at me, he's just "disappointed" that our friendship is over but he doesn't want to deal with the drama any more. I laughed so hard at that. He's said that numerous times to me over the last few months, yet he still comes back and talks to me. Before when he had all the control, I fell for it and always walked on eggshells around him because I was scared to hurt his feelings. Of course he didn't extend the same courtesy to me. But when I moved past that, it became so easy to deal with him. The more information I have how a narc operates, the easier it will be to troll him in person and over text. I'm sure eventually I'll get sick of that and just ignore him. But in the meantime, I'm having fun getting a little payback. Once you shine the light on the monster, he's not scary any more.
It was that shallow attention-seeking and always prioritising time with his supplies, more than anything else, that made me see my narcissistic ex for what he truly was and realise that we had was never real. Less than a year later, and I am happier and healthier than I ever was. Thank you for your great clips.
They're so busy controlling everyone. The 2 Narcissist that I knew were messy and they never had time for cleaning or errands. They're hobbies always are being around other people. My x narcissist would walk in the room and ask me if I was sleeping and wake me up every time I took a nap. They also want to know what you're doing in the bathroom. I quit dating but when I did I would tell them I wouldn't be around them anymore if they woke me up. I will never be with anyone again because peace is something that one of the most important thing in life to me.
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GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS
Danish so much of what you have described in this video sounds like my father and my childhood my father was extremely violent and sadistic also.
Danish my heart goes out to you for having to had grown up with a parent like that. My ex is 💯 as you explained in this video and would actually boast that he causes havoc. I use to think he was joking until I was stuck in his sick world. Thank God 🙏 I've escaped and I hope you have too.
Thank you so much I just added my email to get your free download. God bless you from Cynthia Ann.
Every word you said is so true I went through the same trauma with this monster I had for 28 years it drained me totally and have high blood pressure now because of all the stress I went through I kicked him out last year but he's still trying his manipulation he wanted to stay friends with me so now he tells everyone he still looks after me and they all think the sun shines out of his arsh ha ha he's got a new girlfriend (supply) lately and tells me he's so in love with her just to stick it up me again so I said have a happy life with her and our ties are cut forever good luck to his new girlfriend this selfish snake will never change I told him very often a Leopard doesn't change its spots 😂
narcissists wake up everyday and think:
1-how can i use other people to advance my interests?
2-how can i mentally and physically destroy other people for my amusement?
3-make sure that my mask doesn't slip off so people don't see that i am really a swirling vortex of darkness, with no core identity.
4-how many lies do i need to tell myself that i am smarter, better and more entitled than everyone else?
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@carpart. The superiority & entitlement of the narc is truly demented. 👍
LOL, too perfect!!!!😍😅😆😄😁🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏💞
Spot on!
Hi from Montreal! Sucks to be in Buffalo 🐃!
@HuHWhat-yi8cp a narcissist's delusional arrogance is their biggest strength and ironically, the biggest liability all in one.
Being a narcissist is not just who they are and how they behave; it's their vocation, a full-time job.
@Nancy . Yes. Like a snake on patrol!
Others might have fun or connect, If they aren’t watching. Control freaks!
I used to ask my mom, "Is someone paying you to act this way"?
She would just look a little surprised and confused.
Then other times down the road, she would just give a quick little sheepish grin.
Precisely
Weirdo's
That is so true. My next door neighbor is a full blown Nar and also a witch. She once said, I get done what I need to get done. She's talking about her evil and witching because her whole life is centered on doing just that. At 6 am she is out in the street putting on a show and I ain't kidding. I have never seen her go to a job in the whole 23 years she has lived on this street.
I couldn't help but laugh at the start when the narc went "Let me hydrate myself - after all it requires a lot of energy to create chaos" .
Accurate description, btw.
lol. I know, right? Apparently, Mr. Danish has jokes.
Yes😂😂 i love those little clips of him cosplaying the narcissist, it makes me smile as he is spot on and it lightens up this very sad topic.
😂😂
Yes they hydrate themselfs, no joke. Is there any posibility they only drink certain brand or type of water like pure, or spring or alcaline... and that their food has to be expensive and organic and so on...?
It takes a lot of hydration to keep on and on with their word salad.
100% accurate. My father would go into a rage, terrorize the household, then fall asleep like a baby as if nothing happened. When in public with the outside world the mask would come on where he would be sweet and kind so much so they would comment on such a wonderful husband my mother had. It was a disguise so complete no one would ever suspect what a monster he was and if we were to confide in someone outside the home, no one would believe us and think we are the liars. It's very devious game they play all to their benefit. Growing up that way , I did pay the price but luckily I was smart enough to observe how other families were and I knew my father was nuts. That's what made me know what I was experiencing was not normal. He's now dead 17 years and I promised myself I would never shed one tear when he died. I kept that vow. Up until that point I shed tears my whole life and I wasn't about to shed one for him. The death was more of a relief than anything else.
That’s my mother for me lol she’s jealous of me and now she wants to be me (long hair, facial features, etc) it’s creepy
Somebody's absence makes you a better person
Sounds exactly like my Narc Father; but he's still going and will probably outlive all of us.
Our story aligns
Everday misery
He sit and watch you trying stir something
Like ‘ you haven’t said anything to me yet, are you mute, what am I invisible.. you like ignoring your parents?
Ungrateful and raised you and paid for you,
You owe me.
I was scared of him bc he was verbal physically violent
Humans were dirt to him
It may sound bad but truthfully I'm looking forward to the day my extreme Narc mother passes. I can't wait for that relief you got. But with my luck, she'll live to be like 100.
Living with them is absolute hell. So much noise & chaos, even walking they make the floor shake. Slam every door, coughing, snoring on & on. Total nightmare 😮
Or whistles to let you know they are near
Or walking around mumbling and making sounds!
@@duckducks649Yess, my mom did and does it.. 🧨📢🎷🎺
There was a small channel a while back that did a piece on Narcissists and snoring-this is something so many of them do its crazy. It's like even when they actually do sleep subconsciously they still have to punish their targets somehow.
@@natthebratster Yes, they never give you peace.
Excellent and very accurate video. My narcissistic father would barge into my room or bang on the door anytime of the day that he wanted. He never let me rest or have any privacy in my room. And there was no such thing as a normal meal at the dining table. Meals were his lecturing platform. I got to the point where I couldn't even sit at the dinner table with my father. I would eat after everyone had eaten and have to take the food into my room to eat in peace.
I hear you. Being around a narc, one is never at peace physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, or intellectually. It's constant walking on eggshells. They feel entitled to snoop into other's people's rooms, and go through their things, having no respect for personal boundaries. The only time a victim can have peace temporarily is when the narc is sleeping and permanently when the narc is no longer on the planet.
Yup that's right one must leave the house in order to relax and that's a life long situation or you can fully relax once they've split! Mom got a great kick out of yelling "What are you doing?" At any given time "Nothing" I'd answer "Well stop it" was her reply, very funny, see ya never mom, guess it's mail an Xmas card time soon but it's really for the staff!
The narc barging into peoples rooms seem to be a common practice of the narc - perhaps to "catch" the "prey" off guard. And as a kid - what are you going to do ? Stuck until you are of age to escape.
@@HuHWhat-yi8cp "Stuck until you are of age to escape" - This reminds me of a conversation I had as a 13 year old with a really good friend of mine. Please let me know if i can share this experience.
@@HuHWhat-yi8cpyep. It’s basically what I dealt with as a child. I had a female narcissistic frenemy during the early 2000s who would always be the first to arrive at the house for parties thrown by my narcissistic parents.. one time she went into my bedroom, and looked through my things… at the age of 10 already I was thinking “the s she stealing something?” She also treated me like dirt while we were growing up, and did rotten stuff to me such as taking photos of me being sexually assaulted by a young boy then showing me the photos in 2009. Today, she LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE THE VIETNAMESE AMERICAN VERSION OF JAMIE LYNN SPEARS AND ALSO THE FEMALE VERSION OF COUSIN MIKE. Karma is a B! lmao my narc mother would compare me to her and triangulate me with her for over reason during my formative years.
So accurate-they don’t let you sleep regardless if they know you have to be up early for work. No empathy at all.
The morning wash my hands of responsibility for yesterday, and changing masks throughout the day based on what "victim" I'm talking to: Bravo!! Nailed it. Plus, loved the theater!
As did I!
--@@01splitpea --me too!!
Could not agree more! Always more intelligent, more important, more more more. So bothered by others inability to be as smart. Never a good morning morning, never positivity...
The mask thing really is actually quite funny. It’s so true. I’ve always believed in laughter in the face of adversity, it’s good for the soul. 😊
My mom would wake up at 5 also and her mom. Both my mom and dad would barge in my room at anytime of the day and yell at me over anything. Even if it had nothing to do with me or something wasnt my fault. Or yelling at me to do something. I never had rest. My dad even broke my door lock when i locked the door so everyone would quit barging in to bother me. I was always tense, scared and unsure what would happen next. Im a ENFJ-T and highly empathic. So i absorbed the negative emotions way to strongly when my parents (mom mainly) and siblings ganged up on me. Im so glad to be 6 years no contact and free. My life is so much better and im slowly healing. ❤
Thank god
My dad was similar, he broke my doorframe once banging on the door bc I was taking too long to get ready (I had it locked bc I was changing, and it had been MAYBE 3 minutes). I'm an INFJ and also felt the negativity very intensely. Still working through the PTSD 10 years later.
@@SqueakySassy my bff is INFJ-T. been friends since I was 9. She is 16 years older then me and I'm now 32. We are roommates
I joke our relationship is like a married couple. That's how close we are in knowing each other (we are both straight just for context)
I'll bet your startle response (at one point) was off the charts. I don't remember all those personality identifiers is it Empath for the E? Your situation sounds a lot like mine. So much later in life I HAVE to have a ton of alone time or Im stressed.
@@natthebratster E means extrovert. N means intuitive/intuition, F means feeling, and J means Judging
Very sad
I'm a victim of narcissistic abuse for almost 6 years
Thank God I'm not going through this no more
My granddaughter all her 20 years has been that way. Now she is displaying the same behavior. Very sad life, always angry and dissatisfied.
I was with one for 9 years, thank god I’m free now
@@BabyHannah05Amen ❤❤❤
@@connie44533unfortunately it is very sad
I pray for all of them 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
So true, my husband sleeps so fast like nothing bathers him. It hurt to grow up by a narraisst mother and then married to a narraisst man lord have mercy on me
Mine too, most incredible thing!
Me too
I don’t understand how I went from narc parent to narc husband either
I think that initially I recognized I strong character that could overthrow and shut down my parent if it came to that.
But I found that the attitude was more.. it was narcissistic
Same here. Narc mom to narc husband. Unfortunately, I didn't know he was one untill just recently. He's already chased away one of our sons and has totally blamed me for it
Get him to fk out your life,he’s not a man
Danish, your example of the breakfast misery with your father reminds me so much of sit down dinners with my first husband. Always picking a fight with me or one of the kids, making them feel bad about themselves or making up rules about the food, then daring me to intercede on the kids behalf. After many years of the fighting I finally started to withdraw myself during the meal so the kids could have a more enjoyable meal without overt fight between their parents. I started to eat my meals in my room or eat after everyone was finished. Then once we got a divorce and to this day, the kids say to me "remember how you never wanted to eat dinner with the family"? No matter how many times I explain it was to save them from overt hostility at the meal time, they still don't believe me. My husband would pick fights with me on the way to church or at church, so eventually I stopped going, because I didn't want it to be a horrible experience for my children. Still to this day, they say to me "Mom, you never wanted to be with us at church". This fed right into their father's narrative, that he was the only one who wanted a close knit family, it was me who was stopping that from happening. smh.
All while slandering you to anyone who would listen
How old are your children? I've been happily divorced for several years now, but in the beginning, my children would say/feel/do the same things you mentioned (we shared them 50/50). Then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, they came home from school and decided they were done. They refused to leave with him. The police were even called and they told them they were scared of him. Which they were! They finally SAW him for who he REALLY WAS! It wasn't some notable incident or anything crazy. They were just done. They were old enough to realize who was the problem. I pray that happens for you too! Children are very intuitive. They know who is genuine and who is putting on a show. Put your trust in God. Praying for you, UA-cam friend!! Don't lose hope! These videos saved me! Xoxo
@@shandi1102 My oldest is 31. It has been almost 17 years since my divorce. And "yes", they do see certain things about their father like certain behaviors, but they brush it off and make excuses for it. His alcoholism, same thing. They try to make excuses for it. Cognitive dissonance maybe, not sure. Recently they were at his house for Thanksgiving and he took one of my sons aside and told him that he only cheated on me, so I would divorce him and he could get custody of the children. My son called me up and asked me about this right afterwards. I was astonished. Why? Other than just to get inside my son's head and cause chaos. I said "how would that even work?' "that's not how that works". But the point was to make it look like he all along wanted a family and kids, but I didn't. 17 years after the fact. I am so thankful for these videos. It is certainly helping me unpack my trauma. Thank you for your prayers, I know the truth, and I have that on my side.
I hope you have found it in yourself to understand that eventually, your children will see and understand on their own. If not, please don't spend the rest of your life trying to prove yourself. You did what you could with the cards you were dealt. And even if they never believe or understand you, know that there are those of us out here that feel and understand what you've gone through. You deserve to live the rest of your life with as much joy and peace as possible.
@@redpillbox1882I am so sorry that all these years later, you are still having to deal with this. What a miserable man he must be.
Your life with Narcissist becomes nothing but one big " Chaos". You have beautifully explained their behaviour here. Its like a horror story getting mapped to your real life ....
All this is so true, so accurate and so sad, isn't it? They waste your life and theirs, but for WHAT?? Thank you, Danish for your wisdom.
For kicks. That's how they get their kicks!! Pathetic creatures that they are.
Righr?! I always wondered why they would waste their OWN lives like that… 🤔
You guys Danish has said he actually believes in dark spirits/ demons behind this stuff. Makes sense because they hate us and want to destroy us.
It’s so true what you said about the narcissist not letting us sleep. I lived with a narcissistic aunt for 18 years of my life, she’s a covert narcissist. It’s interesting that she would do “landscaping” at odd hours just outside my window to mess with my rest. She would also slam the cabinet next to my bedroom. I just got chills thinking about all the stress I lived with for almost 2 decades. I’m 35 now and I just moved out about 2 weeks ago (after a narcissist discard). I went no contact (took advantage of the discard lol).
Mine will switch on the lights in the room when I try to get some sleep
Thank you for saying it like it is. I just struggle with my siblings trauma bonded when they talk about an delusional “ good childhood “
I get the opposite which I'm up for (one fully no contact with and didn't she go into being an even crappier wife and mom than ours, bro's just blocked and as an adulterer he didn't fair much better but I'm truly sick of hearing it!
I have the same problem. Their perspective is warped and they get so angry when we point out reality and call things by their name (eg. abuse).
@@GGVanilla Let them be. If they seem to have only aspect to the good memories is because their psyche cannot look at it for what it is. This is a trick of the brain for them to survive. Don't try to push your vision of it on them. You might break their psyche for real.
You know what happened, you don't need their validation. It's frustrating, but don't shatter the illusion. They need the illusion to hold it together.
@@makutumafwa7496oh you bring up an interesting aspect. In my adventure growing up in a narcissist controlled train wreck of a childhood my siblings wont ever talk about any of it to anyone. And that is especially between ourselves as it's done and it's over and that was a long time ago and to say that I have never gotten over it and that I am the problem for being like that. And that is truly terrible that I've never grown out of it. Especially like to tell me 'you know how you've gotten over it'. The hidden can never be open because that would be the cause of bringing them down way too hard. It's really hard to accept what you said but it really has got to be done. Let them be. Thank you!
@@makutumafwa7496 I have never thought about it this way. You’re right, they need this to survive. Thank you for your input 🤗
Being tortured by my exremely narcissistic mother for my entire lifetime, finally I realize why I could not live peacefully ever. It was an attempt to solve the unsolvable problem!
Yes!!!! Somebody had to say this and Danish, you are doing this great act of healing!!!!
May God Bless You Danish with all the love and happiness!
My entire life has been revolving around trying to make peace with my extremely narcissistic mother who has made all the possible attempts to control every single act of my life, and your advice comes so much important and as a savior!
I have realized that it is impossible to work towards changing the behaviour of the narcisstic and now I have taken the courage to stay away from the narcissistic mother!
She had always taken undue advantage of my efforts towards filfilling my duties as a son towards her.... But not anymore!!! Gone are those days now!!!
I pray that God Bless You Danish ❤
One of the cruelties of this is that narcissists are so charming and likeable to the outside world. If you're unaware of people like this, you can be sucked into such a damaging relationship and by then it's too late. You're entrapped. In your case, there was nothing you could do as an innocent child. How you have come through and do what you do now is commendable.
The trauma that the one on the receiving end requires patience, time, therapy and healing. I still have triggers, realisations, memories and suppose it will always be there and something to be aware of for the rest of my life.
Your work on these talks are incredibly helpful. Thank you so much. ❤
You’re spot on Danish, I’m certain my narcissistic next door neighbour spends his nights planning the chaos he can cause the next day. He’s relentless even though my wife and I haven’t reacted in any way to his antics for two years ( even though sometimes we’ve wanted to ) It appears there is no end to his despicable anti social behaviour, he’s claims to be an ontraporneau but appears to do NOTHING all day but target us while his wife works long hours ! So sorry to hear what you went through growing up Danish, I sincerely hope you’ve found happiness now and have escaped your abusers ❤️❤️ Thank you Danish, love your channel 👍
I lived in a neighborhood once where a nasty neighbor was harassing an Elder parent with their disabled Vet son. Well, overnight that son put up nice straight wall of mirrored squares on nasty neighbors side. When they came out with their latest plan, all they saw was their ugly mug. 🤝🤣
Oh let me guess retired or some lame excuse why he can't work? Sadly the best part of his wife's day is probably leaving for work. Been there. You can't even enjoy any aspect of your own home. Nothing is sacred.
Hey Danish, I recently found your channel and I have say your videos have been so highly therapeutic for me. Thank you for spreading your knowledge and experience helping others on their path to healing. Let it begin indeed 🌻
I've been sharing Bashir's videos on social media.
DEAR Daniella
In Agreement with you Hun.thank you so much.may God Grant you your Hearts desires and may Your Dreams come TRUE Sweetheart in JESUS NAME With MUCH LOVE 💕 From Somewhere in OKLAHOMA 🙏🌹🙏
My husband now. We’ve been together 36 years. Married 33. If he died today I don’t know if I could cry. He terrorized the family, beat me, cheated, and is financially abusive. He won’t do anything at home or for the family but if a neighbor, friend, or even stranger needs help he will spend all day helping them. He would wake in a bad mood and wake the whole house! Going room to room to yell at the kids and me. His family was terrified to make him mad. He tried to turn our kids against me once they were older. He was never there when I was raising them. It’s been pure hell! I tried to divorce him twice. He hurt himself called the police and had me thrown in jail! They have zero empathy. I’m now receiving vengeance because I contacted an old girlfriend he cheated with and she confirmed it. He is now giving me the silent treatment (one of several through the years) he told me I am the one who went too far looking at his past when he was gaslighting and abusing me. Never ending. I wish I had left 36 years ago.
So true! My narc falls asleep minutes after his head hits the pillow! It always perplexed me!
Because they have no conscious
This is sooooooo true. They create the crisis and then take a seat at the pity party.
Danish, you are brilliant in the way you present the narcissist. After any one of you reads this, please know I am open to suggestions. As a young adult, I've gone to doctors to figure out what was wrong with my mother. I never had motherly love, could never be my true self, endured emotional torment as well as physical abuse, and now I'm expected to take care of my mother in her old age. What's worse, or just as bad, is she has hurt my husband and son. My dad just passed away, and he was my protector growing up. Narcissism is a deadly disease, as it kills the person one is trying so desperately to be. It can take hold of one's immune system as well, and cause chronic illness. So sorry that so many people are hurting. Love to all ❤.
Your personal independence is your best revenge. Narcissism dies when shoved into the light of truth.
❤
DEAR Leslie
Bless you're ❤. thank you very much.may God Grant you your Hearts desires and may Your Dreams come TRUE Sweetheart in JESUS NAME With MUCH LOVE 🙏🌹🙏 from somewhere in OKLAHOMA 🙏💖🙏
OMG, I started laughing, and couldn’t stop. Not because what you are saying is funny, but that I remembered from my childhood, that my narcissistic father would do the exact same things! sometimes it feels good to laugh. Otherwise one would just cry living that way.
Woah your act is almost EXACTLY the words my father uses about us. My sister went no contact ten years ago and is thriving and has a loving family. Now its my turn.
It never ceases to amaze me, it’s like these people play from the narcissistic playbook. I just wonder how it is that the narcissist, no matter who they are always does the same things that is just a mind blowing thing for me. 5:29
Becuase it’s a spirit that dwells in them and control their behaviour .. that’s why Jesus said “you must be born again “, become born of the spirit of God ..
Very true but they all put their own twist on it. The one i know claims he falls into his wife's bedroom door at night making it slam against the wall waking her up and scaring her. They are both elderly and have their own rooms. He cannot sleep, he's up in his room at night banging around and dropping things. Or he is shouting out claiming he has fallen but he never has any injuries.
This gave me flashbacks & the video had barely started. My Mom would kick my bedroom door open & start ranting before my alarm went off scaring the Hell out of me. By the time I was 10 I dreaded sitting down at the breakfast table with her. I cried all the way to elementary school most days. She'd bitch about me, her young daughter, long and loud to anyone who would listen. She drained the life out of me but fooled outsiders soooo easily who thought she was a sweet, kind woman. 🙄 And yes, my Mom's favorite activities were gossiping, badmouthing others & fighting with family members.
Same😢
Same
omg, I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom was such a monster! And the devastating effect her behaviour had on you! I can empathize because I know my Mom bitches about me behind my back. She also fools others into thinking that she's such a nice person, but really, she's not. She has toxic personality traits: she constantly criticizes other people behind their back, she's very judgemental and can be spiteful and vindictive. I recently cut her out of my life due to her appalling behaviour towards me and I have NO regrets. Life is already so much better without her.
Wow.. the voice change was so accurate, specially the change when speaking to a colleague.. the false gentle, concerned, sweet , syrupy voice speaking about having missed them (gag)..... all so clear when u know the word narcissist or psychopath... but so very baffling when one does not know about these disorders and is witnessing these different masks ... which leads the victim to believing that the narc is a good person because he behaves so well with others and somehow it is their own (the victim's) behaviour which enrages the narc and hence they, the victim, must be at fault somehow...so on point!!
Their glee at battering their family is not just at psychological battering which is almost an everyday routine, of course, but sometimes even physically battering their small helpless children and even spouse (if situation permits)..
I know this is an extremely serious subject. I myself am recovering from narcissistic abuse, so I know the pain and the agony. But I have to take time out to give Danish props for the video he made illustrating a narcissists day. I especially loved the loud obnoxious coffee slurping, the casual plotting self talk, and the masks and phone calls. So, so true. BTW, yesterday I was blamed for being the one to set the boundary. Of course, I wrote a very lengthy heartfelt reply and received an answer of “OK” in return. 🙄🙄🙄
I agree. The video of the narcissist's day was extremely entertaining. I literally laughed aloud. Around such a serious subject, it is imperative to introduce occasional humor to break the tension. I'm sharing these videos on social media.
In simple terms - they wake up with the drive to prove themselves "significant" ! They work on this 24/7 and it involves lots of people !
Yeah, when they could just be themselves and accept life for what it is, trying to make some improvement like other people try to.
Narcissists must be putting a lot of effort to make people suffer around them.
Sometimes I try behave the same way like my narcissistic mother as type of vengeance... not only she cant handle 5 minutes of it, I find these behaviors exhausting and uncomfortable to do.
Hello Danish. I had to do my foreign language homework under the covers with a flashlight, due to my Father insisting that I go to sleep early. After I learned, for hours, a dialog of 4 people, to recite in class, I couldn't speak a word at school. My throat closed up. I was required to prepare for college, throughout all of those years, acc. to my Father and had to begin right away, after a strenuous time, in school and out, throughout High School. I left home at 17 to leave, with the help of an older family member, to a college elsewhere. I battled for that. I didn't want to do household chores and try to study in that noisy, stressful place, a combat zone, called 'home.' I basically, never lived at home again and visits were not easy, as I awoke to loud piano music, which my Mother proudly played, despite my Jet lag. My Brother joined the Navy. An Officer said something to all of the young men standing there, before him. My Brother laughed. The Officer singled him out and asked why was he laughing. ' Was something that funny?' My Brother replied, 'you know, this is the most peaceful place I have ever been.' The Officer didn't expect that answer at all. There's more that I have learned from my Siblings lately. I wish that I would have been there for them. My Sister was beaten by my Father, for coming home too late. I had no phone or TV as a student. They couldn't contact me. Later, I was once even told by my Mother, that I had deserted my Sisters. Maybe my Siblings missed something during my absence, but they did, after all, have a Mother. I was older than them. I just was living my life and I was still doing what they wanted, by going to college. One of my Sisters called me 'Mama.' Actually, earlier, my Brother and I decided to 'adopt' our little Sisters. Then we'd see who would be more successful. We disregarded our Parents, who disregarded us, to battle each other and we carried out our plan. They didn't even notice. My Sister recently told me that she always did so well in school, because I had told her everything. As a child, I saved my Brother from drowning in the lake, me at 3 , he was 2, one Sister from being run over in a parking lot, me at 9, she was 3 and the other from drowning in a ditch filled with black, thick sewer water, at age 10, she was 2. Those aren't the only events. Where were our Parents, somewhere but not by our side. They left it to me I suppose. Later, my Father liked it, that I was far away and my Mother wanted me to return home. I once visited and applied for jobs, in her city, but then the side of town, where I had applied, didn't suit her at all. I was puzzled, shocked and very hurt. Wasn't I doing what she asked? My Brother always said that I had done the best thing and said, 'no wonder she moved 8000 miles away.' In fact, they all moved out of the city, but not as far as me. By the way, our 2 little Sisters are both extremely successful, with career, their own home and family. They did 'better' than us. Yes Danish, your videos hit like a metal hammer, on a tuning fork. It resonates for a while. It helps to mentally understand, what the heck happened. Thank you. ❤
Each n every word you said is correct. He never let me sleep. He sleeps in seconds. He can't see me sleeping and wakes me up with all the silly reasons. If he can't do that then he makes all types of sounds. Very energetic and my energy vampire as u said. Danish , literally u seem like a God to me. Thq u. God bless u with abundant amount of health, energy n courage.
You are so clairvoyant in your video
I learned narcissism 10yrs after I escaped from my home
Someone said narc. Behave as though demon possessed
I believe that.
They find your weakness and cause distress and misery and feed on it
Nothing was me
He was a monster 😥
My mother suffered
Siblings
I could tell you everything jaw dropping
He always wanted your money
I got in trouble many times for being sick( bedridden)
I always broke
I have fear of banks bank cards phones people knocking on doors in house.
House bell ring
Cars coming in driveway
I prayed for help
I didnt know my sister was a malignant narissist when i took her with me moving out of my malignant mothers home. 9 years of hell. So many horror stories there would not be enough books to fill. This was my little sister that i loved and was always there for & she knew it. The last thing she told me when the mask completely came off after I grey rocked her for 3 months giving her no more 'supply'.
Her last words were. Said not in a rage but directly & coldly "I hate you. Ive always hated you". "I always knew i was like mum". Like she confessed at the end.
I asked a male friend to come over to remove her from the home that day never to return. He said to her. "You dont get to live with someone you hate"
It sounds like she was so seething with jealousy of you all along and was 'comparing' herself to you all along and comparing the relationship with your mother to the point that she even came to 'imagine' herself as the mother. I'm glad you have a friend that is willing to back you.
Yes, sad truth to find out when your heart was in right place to survive and take her with not run out leaving her behind. So sorry. 🫂🙏
Feel so sad for your suffering as a child... it is really wonderful you have used all that pain to educate and heal other survivors.. may God bless you!
This video made me feel so bad for Danish. He genuinely seems to be such a kind person I hate to imagine how his father did that awful stuff to him and his siblings I’m sure.
Even though he is an expert on the subject we should continue to pray for healing for Danish too because it may take an entire lifetime to recover.❤
I really do believe that they dream about what chaos they are going to create the next day 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
I lived this, he would Never let me rest or sleep. He was loud, rude and obnoxious when he would get ready for work, or come home. If he wanted to keep me in the house while he watched tv, then he would want me to be asleep so I wasn't on a call or talking to anyone but him.
Escaping that became my goal. Im so glad I did. Thank you for all of your wisdom Danish!
I'm happy for you Danish that you survived and are here now: supporting us all who have gone through hell and not understanding this challenging phenomenon. ❤
Narcissist danish is hilarious. Regular danish is awesome
true lol😂
You are absolutely correct ! It seems like they only want to do others dirty , tell lies on them and treat them like crap , mental abuse , they treat those who they have fooled into thinking their perfect really good and do favors for them but that's only to have a supply of people who will say how great they are ! They treat others like crap and verbally engage with them only for the purpose of making them mad ir insulting them ! It's absolutely crazy , and they are too ! But yet they KNOW what their doing and are psychopaths and constantly need attention ! I didn't know there were people so demented and evil out there but there are !
Yea they literally Feed off dead energy
My mom would wake up early at 4:30am every morning to turn off the hot water heater when I was a kid just to make sure my shower was as cold as possible ❄👌 That's how much the narcissist hate us and Enjoy inflicting suffering to others as their 1st thought on their mind.
Thank you so much for everything you've done in helping everyone this past year 💛🙏Many many Blessings to you! 💛
EXCELLENT video!! This is every day. Your insights explain why it's soooooo exhausting. Thank you, Danish.
Warm greetings to all!
Around the 12 minute mark when he talked about narcissists making noise on purpose when you are entitled to sleep, I thought:
what about when they wake you up to ask if you’re sleeping 😮😊
The wicked cannot sleep at night without causing someone else grief. Disturbing peace is their entire purpose. I don’t understand how a self aware narcissist could continue serving the devil.. tell them what they are, tell them to repent, and leave! Vengeance is the lords and these narcissists hate God. Their dupers delight will surely be their downfall.
From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
DEAR DANISH… thank you so much for these awesome really well done, hilarious videos. Keep them coming. You are such a blessing and we love you so much.
@xDanishBashir01-xq7qk
letting you know that Danish has told us that this is not him AND TO REPORT YOU…so I have reported you.
You are a and a con artist.
Thank you ! You show me all the little terrible things, I have to remember!
Yea so true
For me what you are saying is like music to my ears because it is every bit of life that I have gone through
Their routine is to abuse you while they obsessively clean the house and pretend they are perfect lol😅..❤this was a perfect video...love the 😷 🎭 masks 🎉
Holy shit…you too, huh?? But it’s not actually clean here…it’s all just my & my son’s belongings all shoved into closets & corners. And he steals stuff as he goes…
@@tiffanybluetarot wow same at my moms! She swears she’s the cleanest person ever, yet it’s just piled clutter in every inch of her apartment.
Danish. Thank you. Not for me as it's too late. But for those your words save.
Even the sound of they voices changed when they are in the phone. Unbelieved
Yes, his went from masculine to a feminine voice.
Awesome video Danish! I love the acting as well!!
Yea and this really irregulates your nervous system
“Isn’t that evil? It is.” That’s it in a nutshell!
How do they have so much energy to go around doing what they do. Our energy ofc
Demonic energy.
Because they Off our energy
After watching many of your videos I am convinced my mother is a narcissist. I think a covert one. We were raised to be in fear of her though. That’s how she kept us in line. Emotional, mental, and physical abuse. Now that I’m 51 and she’s 70 she has a tendency to rewrite history A LOT. Almost everything you talk about fits her. The one thing she doe’s constantly now though (she did not do it while my sister and I were growing up) is self deprecation. She will say “I’m not smart” or “if I could just think, I would’ve thought of that, but I can’t”. However, if anyone else put her down, she would be raging mad. Even if she THOUGHT someone was condescending towards her she would get raging mad. She used to tell my sister and I that our smarts (it was demanded we do well in school) came from her. She and my father divorced when I was a baby and she never had anything nice to say about him. I guess my question is (if someone has experienced this) does a narcissist put themselves down repeatedly maybe looking for someone to disagree and build them up? It is so irritating and I just ignore it most of the time. God bless you Danish. I’m so glad I found your channel. Prayers to all that have dealt with or are dealing with a narcissist in your life. Once you realize it and see it, it is glaringly obvious. I’ve only really realized this about my mother in the last 7 months or so. It’s hard to navigate 😕
I have realized over the past year or so that my mom is probably a covert narcissist. She knows she is doing wrong towards others. She doesn’t do everything that Danish talks about, but she is so competitive and always fishing for compliments by saying how old she is going to be next birthday. It sounds like your mom is fishing to by saying she’s not that smart. I think if you want to shit her up and make her stop using this tactic, you can probably just say, “Sorry.” Nothing else. One word answers are the best in dealing with people like this. No point in ever defending yourself against accusations, you’re just going to wear yourself out.
Narcissistic people never put themselves down because they never do anything wrong😂
@@patnelson2091 that is the best idea. I have learned to really control my emotions bc I can see she loves any kind of emotions out of me. The self deprecation isn’t REAL self deprecation I don’t believe bc she didn’t always do this. She used to run her own business for crying out loud. And she will still talk about that even tho it was 30+years ago. I think she is fishing for compliments also. “Sorry” is a good response. Thank you 👍
Hello Aleigha, Yes - they’re actors- they want you to feel sorry for them- (when they cause ALL the problems/ chaos…) I know exactly what you are saying… I noticed they Want Sympathy and also to agree how they think, When they PLAY those Evil Games… For myself, I went No Contact(.)!!! One Great thing out of All of this evilness-- I have gotten Even Closer to Our Heavenly Father!!!!! 🙌❤️🤗 Thank you, JESUS!!!!!
John 3:16 KJV
Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV
Get Saved now- Time is short. Hugging you and will Pray for you and your Family, right now. Have a Blessed Weekend!!! ❤❤❤
They do that so you will sympathize and they can think look how weak you are for loving me when I degrade you.,but constant lying and dismissing good dietary advice takes its toll on the most Machiavellian of brains and they find themselves using the only neuron superhighway they remember abusing you.
Exactly !
In every detail !
My dad's and my ex's routine!
Both grandiose narcs, sadistic emotionally (I loved my dad)
My mom would yell at me to wake up for school, she would never be kind to wake me it was always open the door and yell to wake up no matter my age, she would shame me if I needed to nap yet she would nap all the time so relatable
Your video reminded me when I was a child growing up with an N-Mother. She was a night owl and would make it impossible to get to sleep with all of her banging and stomping and TV high volume until 2 or 3:00am. Then us-kids would have to wake up at 5:00 to do farm chores before getting ready for school. If we made one single peep that woke her up she would come flying out of her room in a rage and beat the first kid she could reach!!! Bathroom power was a big manipulation tool she always used too. We were allowed to use the bathroom ONLY when she said, and Number 2 was always the biggest delight of torture in her day! In the middle of this very private time in our day, she would whip the door open with a bang and scream "hurry up, hurry up". Then a barrage of insults about how nasty, stinky, filthy and shitty we were for having to use her precious toilet for our unclean rottenness. She would then inspect while we cleaned ourselves and humiliate us as loudly as possible even when we were meticulous. All of us 3 now-elderly-kids have suffered life-long digestive issues due to having to hold and go depending on the whims of an evil manipulator.
As you've probably learned, that's a lot more mental illness than just Narcissism. Sexual abuse for one, invading personal physical privacy, inspection privates, abusive comments about your body, functions. As a child gets all mixed up the abuse settles in that entire area of the body. I went thru it too first 14 years only. Now in my seventh decade, with same tum issues. But, great free life 🦋
That's awful! :(
Back then when i lived with my malignant alcoholic narc father and my overtlishy narc grandmother i got waked up at 6/5 am from yelling and screaming when they got in fight for some trivial matter, it was as if someones really going to be killed, particularly my grandmother. I never understood why she had to provoke him every day when he used to grab the knife i got severe anxiety and panic attacks because of my worry for her safety. After some time i noticed that though they fight she didnt seem affected at all able to vontinue her day and routine as if nothing happen but i felt worse and worse. That was their usual routine. Evening was almost the same, when he got drunk he liked to start some controversial topic or discuss some relatives to provoke my grandmother, it never changed until she got bedridden and started forgetting things.
That's 100% accurate, thanks, Danish. My mother's the same, has the same routine since I know her for 41 years, wake up, call the only relatives who didn't go no contact with her, gossip, complain about those who went NC, gossip about other relatives, talk about food, food, food and personal needs and devise plans on how to meet those personal needs (usually, at the expense of other people), eat, eat, eat, gossip with her husband, watch TV and sleep. Next day is the exact same thing almost like a copy of the previous day. It's scary and thank God I'm not like her :)
This is so accurate! You are describing all that is so painful that, while it was happening to me, I was unable to fight back. Now I am widowed and although I work with a grade A bully I can create boundaries and maintain my privacy and respect. Thankyou for your excellent advice in all your videos. I watch avidly. ❤
So relatable subject. And allthe comments here from everyone is the same experiences i had with narc mother. She was crazy as hell and i still have no idea how im still alive.
One example is when i used to live with her, i used to sleep in a small room with big windows she created in the living room because i had two little sisters who had their room and i didn't care to sleep in that tiny room. The house is very small so everything is very close to each other. She used to watch the TV untill around 3am every night with the sound extremely high. And it was almost above my head because the place is small. I sometimes tried to test what she would do and how cruel she really is so i would turn back and forth on bed because it was hard to sleep. And she would do and say nothing just laughing at the TV. Only when i would yell at her cruelty and tell her to turn down the volume then she would do so. She always knew i was figuring her out, always called her bluff and sociopathic behaviors. She never liked it that i was doing well like holding down a job and pretty much very simple and regular things that most of us have.. she always seeked total control even if it comes with the destruction of others mental health. They actually want others to be mentally exhausted and unhealthy since its easier to control them that way.
Sick! All these comments here are bringing tears to my eyes its so similar its scary. Must be demonic like i always felt and said
That was great!!! Such a cathartic skit. thank you Danish.
Danish, I LOVE your playacting - I LOVE the split screens, the acting, honestly, the makeup (when you were the devil and the angelic one). this helps me laugh and lighten up even while it is confirming my experience. in my current experience, I am seeing such subtleties - no one can believe, it is so hard to tell anyone, they probably are being polite while you tell them so I am no longer trying to be heard. so I come here. this video is absolutely true. even the nuances of "concern" after sabotaging something for me. I know for a fact, so devious. in this way, they are "smart" but I am no longer pretending and being "polite". What I am doing is.......responding in a dispassionate way, not being social, polite, just distancing. absolutely true, this video. I have so many stories growing up.
something I also notice is "raising their voice in a sweet way and laughing" to make sure I hear it to "prove to me" how popular and happy they are when they are on the phone but I know they run to tell everyone they know (as well my mother was 10000000% like this) about how I "wronged" her, how "bad it is" that I "did this and am this way". but I know now. this particular narc sleeps with headphones and netflix, a constant barrage of noise, tv always on........talking on the phone LOUDLY so I hear how "popular" she is. I can tell the difference. she tries though to engage me in some innocuous way but I stay stone cold and dispassionate and keep walking. I want to move but haven't been able to - yet. then I will do it while she is at work...........I will disappear. is a porn addict, tv every moment, or like you said, bangs things, looks in my stuff, digs in my trash, always the victim. I'm with you, Danish. so boring.......
Brilliant and accurate. Bless you for your efforts to expose these devious and destructive people. I was raised terrified of my mother....eventually after 2 failed marriages with identical dominating personalities, both were tormentors/abusers and the second one murderous. Over decades of this torment I awakened to the truth. Narcissist's are actors/soul sucking, destroying personalities. AVOID when possible. Shake the dust off and forgive yourself for being deceived.
Yes! We need more scripted examples of the tactics, the gaslighting, and all the other typical scenarios
You nailed it!! ++totally messy personalities head disconnected from body lost souls emotionally unregulated
If they try to calm themselves with substance abuse it makes even worse consequences is complete disregard to other people around family members suffer this is why they have to make effort to put different masks changing behaviour verbally toxic living with them like time bomb never know what to expect...
I love this. It's unsettlingly accurate. He wouldn't let me sleep unless he was going to sleep. Sleep was the only peace I had living with him and even then I often had horrible nightmares about him.
The early morning pot-banging certainly ring a few bells! And seeming to drop plates from a great height for effect…
And waking one up “considerately” asking if one would like them to make coffee… and never once is there any coffee made. A strange way to “communicate.” It really is a kind of torture.
I'm amazed at how spot on this is about my narcissistic father, especially the sleep deprivation. He was a musician and when he got home at 2 am from a gig, he would pull out his guitar and start playing. I would lay in my bed in a silent rage, knowing I had to go to school the next day, unable to do anything about it because god forbid you provoked the hulking monster. He would then sleep until noon which meant we had to creep around in silence because holy hell would erupt if we made any noise that would wake him up. All I ever wanted to do was get out of the house as soon as possible.
"Ur nothing without me!" I went to university on a financial package which was based on my mother's tax return at the time (these were loans that I paid back to the gov). She'd often use it against me when angry saying that I had no university opportunities without her (though I could have claimed myself as independent at age 18). The chaos was anxiety inducing and chaotic. Kudos for the very relatable and entertaining narcissist kabuki theatre, Danish! Ur so funny! 😅
Danish you are truly the best teacher about the evils of a narcissist.
He would turn the light on and then act surprised that it woke me up. But God forbid I didn't tiptoe, using the light of my phone screen to see, while he was asleep
One thing I’d like to correct in what you said, danish : everybody is NOT the same. We all go through similar problems, have even similar features at times… but the spirit & infinite intelligence is always different for different people. This is why narcissists are born. when they are not given the due credit for their inventions or intelligence or anything that they came up with before the crowd… they turn into the villain & take the due credit in hurtful (overt or covert ways).
DEAR shalin
In Agreement with you Hun.God Bless 🙏 from somewhere in OKLAHOMA 🙏🌹🙏
You really nailed this. Very accurate.
It's sickening to watch the narc act this way.
Am crying.
You are right
Your videos are so helpful.
Love from Nigeria. 20yrs living with a narcissist
My father woke me up in a chaotic loud and physical ways by bouncing my bed as hard as he could, demanding loudly to get up, every morning for school and on the weekends. And during my summer days off.
And I’m just realizing that is so abusive to me in so many ways.
Pure monsters raised me and including my stepmothers that hated me bcs my Dad used me as his trophy daughter bcs my mother had blonde hair and blue eyes and was beautiful but she never raised me bcs drugs sex alcohol and men and money was more important than I was.
She’s even more abusive now in her old age, to me and now my children and their children. I was raised by all malignant narcissists and my own twin😮soulmate husband is even worse than all of them.. thank god for divorce and justice and karma!😮😢😢😢😢😢👁️👁️👁️👁️🕊️
Amongst the humor, this video is full to overflowing with brilliant observations. Priceless. I've shared to my social media.
My mother-in-law exhibits the behavior described above, and I feel a strong urge to share this with everyone. If I had been aware of this earlier, perhaps my son wouldn't be facing the challenges associated with a cognitive impairment.The trauma caused by her in my life is not yet curable.
Dear God, in this challenging moment, I seek Your guidance and strength. Please help me overcome the difficulties I am facing, and grant me the resilience to navigate through this situation. Provide comfort and solace, and guide me towards the support and solutions that will lead to healing. Amen.
I am so sorry to hear you have to ho through this. I know the pain narcissisit provide can be too unbearable . I hope you get the strength to be stronger and stand for yourself !
@@keepcool1604🙏
The skit is on point. Describes my narc Mum and the narc sibling completely. They are always a victim, “oh I gave so and so money and they are not even thankful”, I’ve come to learn that this is a form of playing victim for narcs and wanting to always be seen as good and perfect people.
I have been through what you have, but it was my mother we couldn't sleep nor do anything right to her
Exactly true . Everyday reviving and trying to digest and trying to escape from that chaos is the biggest task for normal people .
My FIL is chaotic. He cannot sit his ass down. He got activities back to back and everyone is clearly exhausted. My inlaws cane to my house early as hell to play with the grandkids, attended our daughters birthday party (which was a few hours) then he wanted to meet for dinner. Dude i don't wanna be around you all damn day. Ugh he never let's you rest
🤣
Undiagnosed ADHD?
Another huge part of narcissists' daily routine when they're out & about, milling around the city alone is to seek out complete strangers whose facial expressions signal that they're vulnerable (sad, depressed, introspective, tired, in pain, impoverished, worried, shy, unsure, rushing, preoccupied, lonely or just ruminating about dealing with their own narcissistic abusers)& the narc will *_stare that stranger down while wearing a HATEFUL EXPRESSION_* AKA The Stink-Eye.
Toward the end I used to cringe at its presence for the simple fact I was bracing myself for the next episode of conjured chaos and torment. It would take me days to recover but in the end I never did because it became a constant force of psychological bashing and gaslighting. I'm a shadow of myself looking to recover the loss of who I actually am.
Danish has the most peaceful, gentle, healing energy. The content of your videos is so transformative, but I feel I even receive healing just from your energy, Danish. Thank you 💕
Wow he is right on abt the sleep thing...I remember when I was student and living in a studio apt and my narcissistic mother came to visit me. She would wake up at 5 am, start banging pots and pans, cooking etc paying no attention to the fact that I had been studying till late at night and I could hear everything since there is no partition between kitchen and sleeping area in a studio apt...ultimately it became unbearable and I had to ask her to leave.
This was one of your most enlightening videos Danish. To this day I have severe sleep disorder (mine was up by 4:30 am every morning and slammed the front door upwards of a dozen times "waiting for the newpaper".) To this day one of my major self pleasures is going out to dine-alone. My friends ask me why I dont get lonely or feel weird going solo to a restaurant.
They have no idea what the abuse around meals was like for us on this channel. Thank you for this particular video it was really eye opening!!!
I could never close the door to my room. If I did, my mother would kick it open with a loud bang and enter like it was her space.
OMG... This is soooooo satisfying and validating to watch you play this out!!!
It's so... almost impossible for people who don't know, to realize that this is how these types of people actually operate in life.
Thank you soooo much for this. I'm only 3 minutes in and I've already laughed out loud in solidarity.
Finally!
I thought it was me!
My mother (RIP)you explained her to the T!!
I'm crying so much. Thank you for this video
Thank you for this video Danish. I always wondered what the narc's thought processes and behaviours were in the normal course of a day. I'm not around my narc that much but I have to see him occasionally for circumstances I can't change. But because I've finally disconnected emotionally from him, he's in a tailspin not understanding why things have changed. He complains about his health and how he's had to discard his family because they are toxic to him and are narcissists (that's the funniest part). He has to move out of his current home because it's his dad's and the house was sold to pay for his father's care in an old folks' home. So he complained he'll have to live in his car. I said to him that his car is spacious and he should be okay until he gets himself settled. He just looked at me when I said that and I could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to find the most guilt laden thing to say so I would ask him to move in with me. Nope, nope, nope.
He knows things have changed but he can't adapt and is still trying the old tricks on me, but I'm not biting. I now see him as quite comical and treat him as such. I say the most outrageous, flippant things to him but he keeps coming back and talking to me, even though he says goodbye, I'm not friends with you any more etc etc. He takes great pains to point out that he's not angry at me, he's just "disappointed" that our friendship is over but he doesn't want to deal with the drama any more. I laughed so hard at that. He's said that numerous times to me over the last few months, yet he still comes back and talks to me.
Before when he had all the control, I fell for it and always walked on eggshells around him because I was scared to hurt his feelings. Of course he didn't extend the same courtesy to me. But when I moved past that, it became so easy to deal with him. The more information I have how a narc operates, the easier it will be to troll him in person and over text. I'm sure eventually I'll get sick of that and just ignore him. But in the meantime, I'm having fun getting a little payback. Once you shine the light on the monster, he's not scary any more.
It was that shallow attention-seeking and always prioritising time with his supplies, more than anything else, that made me see my narcissistic ex for what he truly was and realise that we had was never real. Less than a year later, and I am happier and healthier than I ever was. Thank you for your great clips.
They're so busy controlling everyone. The 2 Narcissist that I knew were messy and they never had time for cleaning or errands. They're hobbies always are being around other people. My x narcissist would walk in the room and ask me if I was sleeping and wake me up every time I took a nap. They also want to know what you're doing in the bathroom. I quit dating but when I did I would tell them I wouldn't be around them anymore if they woke me up. I will never be with anyone again because peace is something that one of the most important thing in life to me.