@@Bluesonofman [QUERY] Why is data subject /MEATBAG\ disparaging --MODIFIER=HOLIEST Deus Mechanica & SUBJECT=/MEATBAG\ Praising Omnissiah? Conclusion = retreivable FROM corpse.
@@masterzoroark6664 I agree with ya. Mechanicus is how Tech Priests truly sound like, exactly how I pictured them when they're not using their flesh voice.
@@bigguygamer733 Well, it's a debated issue. There's never been a stated case of a marine dying of old age, and it's mostly seen as a moot point--they'll die in battle, even if they have to fight for 1000+ years before it happens. And even then, the chapter will likely plug them into a dreadnought to just keep on fighting.
"There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal." "There is no strength in flesh, only weakness." "There is no constancy in flesh, only decay." "There is no certainty in flesh but death."
In all seriousness, if I was given the opportunity to, in real life, replace most of my fleshy bits with awesome machines that did awesome things on the caliber of what the Mechanicum's elite equip themselves with, you can bet that I'd sign up in a heartbeat. It's not like I'll ever have a girlfriend, and who the flying fuck with wings needs emotions anyway?
No you fools so he can convert it into a weapon to toast anything... even robots... and Robots?? do i hear you ask?? Well only a genius can pull that off... and the Adeptus Mechanicus is full of them
His accent combined with the voice modification is pretty much the perfect voice for a techpriest. Imagine meeting someone who seriously sounded like that in day-to-day life.
"Where did you get these 'relics', anyway?" "A venerable Space Marine Chapter gifted them to me. They are known as the Blood Ravens. These are relics of their Chapter."
Heresy! Our relics are relics of all Chapters and we guard them well. These must come from reliquary of some other chapter. But we will be sending someone to retrieve them just in case.
This needs to be a character. In an RP, in a book, in a miniseries, whatever. Techpriest Flimmius Flammius, purveyor of restored relics! Yes, that Chimera IS brand new. It is not assembled from the remains of four other chimeras from the Seige of Vraks! The charge of Hades Hive was not my fault. Armaggedon's sandstorms just have a tendency to ruin my perfectly functional servos. It was the imperal knight's fault for failing to properly apply the sacred oils I swear! Only 1000 lightyears on this space hul-I mean, Dauntless Light Cruiser! A real bargain!
Barley Sixseventwo my friend has this thing he does when he GMs, and it’s called the "wack pack". This includes characters such as Steve the pacifistic Space Marine, Oscar the Ork, who walks around talking with a Posh accent, suit top hat and monacle, and embarks in fine dining and calming pass-time events, and my personal favorite Ned the Necron, who is a friendly, lively, and hilarious figure. I believe that a little comic relief is appropriate every now and then.
The equipment is what matters to the Ad Mech, as its technology. They could care less about the people using it as long as they use it the correct, non tech heresy way
How many goblins does a ork need to figure out a bolter??? Thirty. five to eat 15 to mash in rage and ten in a line to explain the step for step of the mechanics
There will never be nothing funnier to me than a techpriest screaming at a vending machine or just going around to random hive world citizens asking for samples.
Legit thought they were going to say "It served its previous master quite well. When he took it off he was shot in the head, which would not have happened had he been wearing it!"
+DLShadowwolf Alas I do not have the time and/or money to do something like this and if I was going to cosplay I would want it to be the best it could be. D; But still I want to do this so bad D;
This Tech priest is so good that I got interested in becoming a servitor. Being strong, having melta guns for arms and never having to worry about stuff. And the best part, it is all free! There is literally no downsides to it!
The costume is not at all what entertained me doing this video, but the guy wearing it. This is exactly what i imagine the Ad Mech forces to be like to be honest xD
Every techpriest knows the best way to flex on others is to install as many mechadendrites as possible. You sir, are flexing on everybody with one, actually functioning mechadendrite. The Archmagos would be proud.
"Is he questioning my religion?"
I thought he was talking about the vending machine at first.
That too,
He knows the vending machine is skeptical of his faith,
He has doubts that he is a true believer
It's cannon, change my mind
Lol same
Same
I have become you 3,000th like
"I'm sorry I'm weak I can't..."
"But we can fix that."
This is why the mechanicus is the best faction.
They are Heretics. Prase the Man Emperor of Mankind
@@Bluesonofman [QUERY] Why is data subject /MEATBAG\ disparaging --MODIFIER=HOLIEST Deus Mechanica & SUBJECT=/MEATBAG\ Praising Omnissiah? Conclusion = retreivable FROM corpse.
Right next is the orks
@@Bluesonofman They literally serve the emperor and worship him...thats who the omnissiah is..
Xplosion787 The Man Emperor of Mankind has Deemed them Heretics just like the inquisition
This isn’t a cosplayer. He’s a real tech priest.
Honestly, that’s how I’d imagine the highly cybernetic ones to sound.
Ya played or watched warhammer 40k: Mechanicus?
But i guess they just tone down the binary so fleshlings can understand
@@masterzoroark6664 I agree with ya. Mechanicus is how Tech Priests truly sound like, exactly how I pictured them when they're not using their flesh voice.
@@someorclad9738 *Angry beeping at the guardsman*
Kacper Bywalec *BEEPS WITH INTENT TO PURGE*
@@fatbastard9147 R2D2’s beeping makes more sense now
"we have to take away your cognitive function, but that's nothing you were using anyway" LOL brutal
Roast of the 41st millenia
Are you ready for cyberpunk 2077?
I bet he set up that entire conversation just to roast the guy, after he questioned the techpriest's religion.
@@javierguardiola7122 my body is ready
@@Erfierazgzb0ss4u welp
"It refuses me my sugary products."
I lost it right here.
Alex Hackett I wanted to give him my sugary products
Well of course it does! Did you say 100 prayers to machine spirit, or try turn it off and on again?
Thou hast angered the Machine God!
Would've been more appropriate for him to describe them as "recreational glucose supplements."
Alex Hackett the machine spirit got mad at him for some reason
"Have you considered cybernetic augmentation and servo-slavery?"
Why yes I have would you happen to be able to tell more about it?
Sultan I feel like I see you everywhere, you watch Arch a lot?
Ferrus Manus disagrees
top 10 pick up lines in anime
This servo slave has a bad motivator, look!
I really like the idea of disgraced Techpriest hawking wares in the depths of a void station.
Now for some reason I want to see a series based on rouge trader
Early years of a Dark Mechanicum member
I think that's just the sort of types you find inside the organisation, like with any other large organisation.
Named brother "May-the-Omnissiah-break-me-down-for-spares" Dibblius
When the local Techpriest joins the Blood Ravens
Trying to sell a Space Marine's helmet:
"It served it's previous owner well, since he died in his sleep of old age!"
Which worries me more, because I don't think space marines can die of old age.
Exactly
Owuld Aije is the guy who killed him
@@Thomas-fz9xw I'm pretty sure only the primarchs are immune to aging. But don't quote me on that, I'm not a lore junkie.
@@bigguygamer733 Well, it's a debated issue. There's never been a stated case of a marine dying of old age, and it's mostly seen as a moot point--they'll die in battle, even if they have to fight for 1000+ years before it happens. And even then, the chapter will likely plug them into a dreadnought to just keep on fighting.
"I'm not really very strong, you know?"
-Places hand on shoulder- "We can fix that."
Walker Rollins
*to be continued*
Walker Rollins top 10 pictures taken right before disaster struck
Queue Seinfeld opening
*I'll be your roundabout...*
And this is the story of how I became a Kataphron Destroyer.
I've always figured there where techpriest equivalents to used car salesmen. Now I've been proven right.
More like boot car salesmen
Car boot salesman?
@@DMS_Knighted_Drifter its a reference to "If the Emperor had a text to speech device"
@@nickrohrer2892 Why ack like we bof wetnt'd dare budder? I MIGHT HAV'TA SHANK YA GIT!
Except my last used car salesman never tried to replace any of my organs or enhance me with cybernetics.
"Barely used"
"IT IS A RELIC OF A THOUSAND BATTLES!"
Haha, I love this guy!
In 40k, that is barely used.
A fine merchant using his tongue well.
Oh sweet summer child ^^
LKVideos a thousand battles- damn brand new huh?
@Gruntzy They use a white dragon head for a symbol? Why not... y'know.... use a salamander head?
"The flesh is weak, the machine is strong" has got to be the best line I've heard all week.
"Shut your ghost face Ferus. You are no friend."
Yes, all are weak.
the perfect distraction! works every time i get caught worshipping a soda machlne.
"There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal."
"There is no strength in flesh, only weakness."
"There is no constancy in flesh, only decay."
"There is no certainty in flesh but death."
Viktor approves.,
The idea of a tech priest encountering a vending machine for the first time is actually comedy gold
imagine a techpriest engaging a bugged self-checkout machine
Being as the primitive machine spirit refuses him his snacks I’d say he must have insulted the spirit and thus the machinations of the Omnissiah.
The "We can fix that....Yes, yeeeeees, the flesh is weak but the machine...is strong !" is magic; best part of the video.
Noh! "It refuses me my sugary products." :D
Magic is heresy.
@@nikokareno4156 Typical fleshbag denial.
@@nikokareno4156 The Machine is immortal, fleshbag. Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.
@@bergonath8851 there are many ways to achieve similar goals.
One day I wish to have cybernetics as good as this Tech Priest.
In all seriousness, if I was given the opportunity to, in real life, replace most of my fleshy bits with awesome machines that did awesome things on the caliber of what the Mechanicum's elite equip themselves with, you can bet that I'd sign up in a heartbeat. It's not like I'll ever have a girlfriend, and who the flying fuck with wings needs emotions anyway?
I already do as I am a necron
As you will it, so it shall be
I want the mechanical arm from the video, then I will be happy with my life.
the guys from the adeptus mechanicus are very old because of their stuff.
Someone give this man a toaster!!!
jackisme 1993 but never ask for it back...
So he can... f#ck it?
JCDenton 2012 the joke is that the Mechanicus all have toasters as their waifus
Can the Emperor be made entirely out of Cyber Dongs?
No you fools so he can convert it into a weapon to toast anything... even robots... and Robots?? do i hear you ask?? Well only a genius can pull that off... and the Adeptus Mechanicus is full of them
"Haha lol now do it in binary"
*proceeds to do it in perfect binary*
That was beautiful
But what he said really could be translated?
@@darthrincus nope. it's just a bunch of gibberish according to the subtitles.
@@notgray88 so what he said was nothing?
@@raywez1771 according to google, ?24??2
His accent combined with the voice modification is pretty much the perfect voice for a techpriest. Imagine meeting someone who seriously sounded like that in day-to-day life.
"A thousand battles of the....space marine of the white dragon head" hahahahaha just marvelous
Salamanders are very angry I think
The Salamanders, they're the Salamanders, Vulkan wouldnt stand for this god damn heresy
Something about more flesh people. Acknowledged, but not recorded. Please report for servitor-transition surgical implantations immediately.
Bruno Merotti back to the line guardsmen
Sir, yes Sir!
"Only 99 prayers to the Emperor"
Pffff what a heresy! I can get Flamers for half the prayers!
Why would you want to say less prayers to the Emperor, citizen? That sounds ultra-heretical!
~query: "where is this manufactorum located?" [Suspicion runtime] ~execute
sounds like someone isn't praying enough.... luckily there aren't any inquisitors round right now ;) *hides my aquila*
ЧЕРЕПА ТРОНУ ИЗ ЧЕРЕПОВ КРОВИ БОГУ КРОВИ FOR KHORN!!!
@@HelghastStalker I'm pretty sure there are several taxes you are ignoring that crank it up to 1,000
"Where did you get these 'relics', anyway?"
"A venerable Space Marine Chapter gifted them to me. They are known as the Blood Ravens. These are relics of their Chapter."
I wouldn't be surprised if the damned magpies stole alot of his stuff behind his back while they gifted the relics to him
@@beasthunter1516 that oooor he unknowingly gifted it to them.
relics of THEir chapter? or other chapters? ;P
plot twist: The unfortunate techpriest was part of the stolen cargo. He just hasn't realized it yet.
Heresy! Our relics are relics of all Chapters and we guard them well. These must come from reliquary of some other chapter. But we will be sending someone to retrieve them just in case.
>Shows Space Marine helmet.
"The previous owner died of old age"
*He what now?*
Since space marines fight non stop especially in crusades and deserters are, immobilized, i say that guy is really good
Really makes your toaster toast, doesn't it.
@@oz_jones where are the toasters we have been promised?
Subtly saying the owner was bodied by Hruds
Probably an euphemism for dreadnaught-ization
Half expected him to pull the robe aside and ask, "What're you buying, stranger?"
Half expected him to pull the robe aside and show his cyberdong
@@HORRIOR1 TURN PENIS INTO ROBOT!
@@phantom31017 _Can the Emperor be rebuilt entirely put of cyberdongs?_
@@TheBonesMalone I found *liquid nitrogen*
Ah... I buy that with high price
This needs to be a character. In an RP, in a book, in a miniseries, whatever. Techpriest Flimmius Flammius, purveyor of restored relics!
Yes, that Chimera IS brand new. It is not assembled from the remains of four other chimeras from the Seige of Vraks!
The charge of Hades Hive was not my fault. Armaggedon's sandstorms just have a tendency to ruin my perfectly functional servos. It was the imperal knight's fault for failing to properly apply the sacred oils I swear!
Only 1000 lightyears on this space hul-I mean, Dauntless Light Cruiser! A real bargain!
That would be a funny background character.
Like a Techpriest Crazy Hassan selling used ships and accessories?
yea maybe he joins a rogue trader's entourage that would be epic
Barley Sixseventwo my friend has this thing he does when he GMs, and it’s called the "wack pack". This includes characters such as Steve the pacifistic Space Marine, Oscar the Ork, who walks around talking with a Posh accent, suit top hat and monacle, and embarks in fine dining and calming pass-time events, and my personal favorite Ned the Necron, who is a friendly, lively, and hilarious figure. I believe that a little comic relief is appropriate every now and then.
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, but with more servoskulls.
Check:
Voice: 9
Mechanicus Crane: Moving 10
Glowing eyes: 9
Tech Priest role: 9
Holy shit
PapaKranianus Shenanigans: 11/10
Go big or go home.
Well, I guess it is ok for a tech preist to know names of every single peace of equipment, but to forget names of some marines chapters.
The equipment is what matters to the Ad Mech, as its technology. They could care less about the people using it as long as they use it the correct, non tech heresy way
syd vigue
Somehow that mirrored Navy attitude toward the Army in every first world country.
He accidentally erased that part of his memory when he was deleting his spam folder.
I dont know about you but i pretty sure I have heard of the white dragon head chapter
just needs some memory enhancement, surely there can be made room.
"We Are Not A Brick Wall,
We Are Skitarii"
"This Is True"
"Santodes: convince them."
*_"MMMMMMMMMMMM... HMMMMMMMM~!"_*
*_"MMMARSY BOYS~~~! BIONIC BABIES."_*
You do realize that *Access Denied*
@@TazVibez The. Fabricator. general. is. Currently. Providing. The. Martian. Populace. With. Oil. Margaritas.
" It refuses me my sugary products "
Best Line Ever 100/10
He should've appeased the machine spirit.
Someone give this guy a medal and his own manufactorium!
*a seal and a manufactorum
Bury Zenek *a rosarius and a manufactorum
@@nathanjora7627 * a cranial upgrade and a forge world
@@0d138*a cranial upgrade and a toaster
*Sugary products and an array of new cyberdongs.
Sees man using cams and phones
-"You dare"
this is amazing.... BRUVA ALFABUSA MUST BE INFORMED!
Yes sir!
That is Bruva Alfabusa, he needs to sell stuff cause UA-cam adrev is shit.
"Where did all the people come from?"
-Techpreist circa 3015
The emperor is pleased with this tech priest :)
"You'll lose some cognitive functions.. but you weren't using those anyway."
Tech-Priests truly are the used car salesmen of the 40k universe
I always thought they were also the IT Department.
That cybernetic arm....
Teach me, master.
Start here: facebook.com/pg/OCDcreations/photos/?tab=album&album_id=275727225925721
@@DLShadowwolf the link is down :c
@@Lesu2003 Hmm, that's wierd... It works for me.
That is a sad way for a Space Marine to die.
Not just any space marine if the helmet is anything to go by, a Black Templar! Even worse for them.
Except for the Emperor's Nightmares, that is
Actualy his head was cut off but the head inside the helmet was perfectly fine. Tho he started to sleep after that and never woke up.
Would've been even better if he would've called out that the previous owner died to a shot in the chest or something.
A black templar’s emperor’s champion no less
“We need to remove your cognitive function to serve the Emperor. But you weren’t using that, right?”
He has a point.
Tell the Omnissiah thanks for that upgraded toaster.
1:05 Have you tried appeasing the machine spirit?
Nothing some percussive maintenance can't fix.
@@HappyBeezerStudios the RITE of percussive maintenance, get it right.
@@bonogiamboni4830 Get it rite. :P
I wonder if an Ork could make use of that foam bolter...
With enough Orks they could probably make a finger gun work.
How many goblins does a ork need to figure out a bolter??? Thirty. five to eat 15 to mash in rage and ten in a line to explain the step for step of the mechanics
Dis one goes faster cuz dis one is red!
Life... uh, finds a WAAAAGH.
@midgetydeath my favourite thing is that it literally works that way (given enough orks are present and believing)
"I can upgrade you with a meltagun, all for free!"
*Insert Robbie Rotten 'FREE?!'*
Lost it at “he died in his sleep of old age”
Can you hear the machine spirit.
1:25
"A thousand battles of the...
The.... theeee.....
The Space Marines of the white dragon head!"
Spoken like someone who doesn't play Salamanders.
ooooorrrrr... spoken like a true salamander player ;P
I just waited for him to say “do you have any toasters?”
Kapek Hotep pretty sure that plasma pistol wouldn't have any trouble making toast
"Greetings Custodes. How are you this day? Have you brought me any cool ancient tech to display-ha-haaay?"
How did he get a Salamanders shield? I think this tech priest MIGHT be looting the bodies of dead space Marines lol
Imperitus and there is nothing wrong with that now move along before a skitarii breaks your legs
he must be attached to the Blood Ravens chapter
@@jamesm783
Unbeknownst to us, he was stolen by the Blood Ravens and it rubbed off on him
Ooh piece of metal...
Ooh piece if metal oh look at that another peice of metal
Correction, that was actually a Space Marines of the White Dragon Head chapter storm shield, did you even watch the video?!?!?
There will never be nothing funnier to me than a techpriest screaming at a vending machine or just going around to random hive world citizens asking for samples.
this really makes me want to start my own tech priest cosplay project
Pff, cosplay. Build the real thing!
Legit thought they were going to say "It served its previous master quite well. When he took it off he was shot in the head, which would not have happened had he been wearing it!"
I want an army of these guys following behind me all day screaming about the Omnissiah.
Magos come quickly the Fabicator General.exe has malfunctioned again
Have you tried turning him on and off again?
Butt cheeeeeeeeeee-
@@DLShadowwolf Have you tried ten prayers to the Omnissiah and the machine spirits?
That machine spirit was angry because you can't remember the salamanders.
My dream's to be a Cogboy like him
Hahahaha
What a great tech priest.
You are amazing. Now I want to cosplay warhammer 40k even more now xD
+LordZaxom Do it nao! :D
+DLShadowwolf Alas I do not have the time and/or money to do something like this and if I was going to cosplay I would want it to be the best it could be. D; But still I want to do this so bad D;
@@DLShadowwolf Four years late but is that an Arnold line?
From Predator?
This Tech priest is so good that I got interested in becoming a servitor. Being strong, having melta guns for arms and never having to worry about stuff. And the best part, it is all free! There is literally no downsides to it!
From what I've read the 40K universe is nothing but downsides, lol, what a bleak and depressing universe.
@@yellowblanka6058 Yeah, people usually just meme about how grim dark it is.
My brother's a mechanical engineer and he jokingly calls himself Tech priest. I should show him this video.
"no, i'm weak techpriest, i'd be of no use"
"i can change that."
Space Marines of the white dragon head. I can here Vulkans screams, even from here.
I love how it's cyberargumentations allows it to carry those weapons as if it was an astartes, trully marvels of the machine god
The vending machine’s spirit is a cruel one
I am so adding this guy to my Imperial guard army. Tech priest 'Shenanigus' shall reign supreme Great costume thumbs WAY up
The costume is not at all what entertained me doing this video, but the guy wearing it. This is exactly what i imagine the Ad Mech forces to be like to be honest xD
"I'm not very strong"
"WE CAN FIX THAT"
it feels like somebody... wants to sell me something!
every space marine when they visit mars
Hyde Matsumoto I mean, mechanicus have to make a living too
This guy does a great job being in character!
Every techpriest knows the best way to flex on others is to install as many mechadendrites as possible.
You sir, are flexing on everybody with one, actually functioning mechadendrite.
The Archmagos would be proud.
“Barely used”
“It’s a relic, a relic a a thousand battles!”
He's so proud of his creations until a Blood Raven show up...
"Lock the reliquary"
Plot Twist: He was already stolen by the Blood Ravens.
And stole everything he's selling.
I like how when he starts that binary talk, he sounds like a character right out of that Mechanicus game
Basically a Tech Priest out side of mars trying to Garage sale some old Relics to fund more Tech Priest expeditions to find more old relics.
When he is saying the the flesh is weak it sounds like he is barely containing his laughter.
“We can fix that” XD
The arm servo is actually the best part.
Every few years this shows up in my recommendations and every time I watch it and wish we had more
"Access..."
*_"...Denied."_*
At the top of my post-COVID wishlist: going to a convention and finding cosplayers who stay in character through almost any encounter
love the cosplay what voice modulator are you useing?
Callum Brereton I would be interested in that too. Possibly he did build one himself.
*Cough*
... Using.
I love\hate how abrasively incomprehensible your voice mod is, it's just like the real thing!
I approve of your humor
i really look forward to coming close to this level of shanigans when i don the robes of the machine cult next month for at animanga
So basically a Tech Priest that just got out of basic training and is on home leave. This is honestly how I see this going on in the Imperium.
Not a war hammer fan, never seen it. Makes me want to get into the lore now.
I feel like if I had a costume this good I'd just be walking around a convention petting a toaster lovingly.
"I hold the secrets of the machine"
this man has learnt the power of the cold certanality of steel over flesh
This made me way happier than I thought it would. Thank you sir.
This man...this man, right here. Give him a medal.
I don’t engage in war hammer content very often
Tech Priest: But we can fix that!
“Engage the linkage Omnissiah , our victory comes online”
3:05
A random Ork wanders over, takes it, says it's the blaster he's been missing for 5 months, and leaves.
He lives hes character RELLY Well XD
The real question is: would he like cyberdongs?
techpriests hate women. they dont buy the whole servitor, they just snap off its finger....
Unhinged Techpriest is my favorite canon 40k character
You never want to hear a tech priest say “are you questioning my religion”
His voice simulator is just amazing
THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. "The flesh is weak, but the machine is strong!"
8 years later and this guy is still a legend.
“Have you considered cybernetical augmentation and servo-slavery?”
This inspired me to start working on my techpriest robes :)