I have one female student that hits everyone (including teacher and assistant when things do not go her way). No matter the time: before breakfast, during circle time, outdoor play. She knows her classmates do not want to play with her because of the hitting and that does not stop her. She keep asking if she is behaving good and demands stickers (we do not give rewards). We are implementing conscious discipline but so far nothing seems to work. We reached out to mom and she said that the child acts the same at home hitting little brother, then crying, then asking for hugs after what she did. The center where I work asked mom if she wanted to be referred for services to find out if she qualifies due to behavior. So far, nothing has worked.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I know how frustrating it can be. I love that you don't give rewards...I don't give rewards for normal expected behavior either...it doesn't make sense. One thing I have done in the past with other kids that has actually worked it I ask the parent if there is an item that is important to the child...it could be a lovie or something like that...(in one of the cases it was a chapstick! ) At the beginning of the day I would say "mom is going to ask me if you can have your chapstick today at the end of class time. In order to get your chapstick back, you cannot hit anyone. I'll give you 3 chances...for your reminder I'll say "chapstick"...and if at the end of the day you haven't hit...mom can give you your chapstick back". For that girl, it took one day of not getting her chapstick back! I had another girl where that didn't work at all...It really depends on the child. I'm gong to try "1-2-3 magic" with a different child in my pre-k this year...Its ROGH! I'm here for support and ideas...share some with me too...sometimes I seriously don't know what to do!
My son is almost 5 and he is hitting and biting (this is a really new one) and his teacher can’t figure out why. She says she doesn’t see any build up to it. For example, he said that a boy pulled on his arm so that’s why he threw him to the ground and hit him. I think the boy might be on the spectrum (I observed at his school to see what could be happening) and their outside space to play is small and pre-k, kindergarten, and 1st grade play together. All the boys play rough and I did see some boys throw others down, push, etc. The boy he said pulled his arm, i did see him grab his arm and the teacher immediately intervened. I don’t believe he hits for no reason. He is fine at home (no siblings) and when we do play dates. I feel defeated because I’m one week I’ve been called by his school three times. I’ve suggested so many things to his school but it doesn’t feel like they are listening. They keep telling me to talk to him but i already talk to him everyday because he tells on himself on the way back home. I don’t know how I’m supposed to help him when this only happens at school.
I'm wondering if this is defensive in nature. I think a good place to start is to find out if he feels scared or powerless. I had this with a boy in my class a few weeks ago, and it was because his brother was ratcheting up their rough play and he was feeling powerless and defesnsive. His parents helped the boys get through it and everything smoothed out. If your child is feeling powerless at school though, you won't have that much control. You can talk to his teacher and see what she knows. You are doing the right thing. Get to the root of it and it will resolve faster. Good luck to you. it can be so tough figuring out preschoolers sometimes. Your son is fortunate to have such a good mom
I have one 2 year old kid that hits, kicks and throws toys, especially when he gets frustrated with stem toys. He also gets angry when he can't control his friends during free play or when they disagree with him.
When a child is two...I expect a little of that kind of behavior because it kind of fits their age, but it is a good time to start putting up some solid boundaries and talking to the parents to see what they do when these things happen at home. Sometimes kids get angry/frustrated easily when they feel like they are in charge at home. It's too scary for a 2-5 year old to be in charge! They act like they want that, but it is boundaries that make them feel safe. When they can do whatever they want ...they feel out. of control and they are not ready for the responsibility of being in charge! good luck to you...a lot of parents of 2 year olds have no idea what they are doing and are very receptive to suggestions
I have a Kinder in my class that none of these tips would help. He’s basically a Tasmanian devil, constant moving and hitting, kicking, and cussing his way around my classroom. He doesn’t hear his name when I try to get his attention, he keeps going until he finally elopes. Never had this happen before. It is exhausting!
He sounds like my pre-k kid. so much trauma, anger, and destruction. It is exhausting, nerve wracking, and sometimes scary. Have you met with the parents? is it possible they can or will help? I work in a private school and if the parents were not on board with this child we would have had to turn him away. He is above my paygrade. I love him so much and he can be sweet....but unpredictably the anger comes out...and we have to do our best. I hope it gets better. Does your principal know? Is your Pricipal offering any help or solutions. It sounds like too much for one person!
Sounds like he needs an individualized behavior modification program. Choose one particular behavior and devise a token chart towards the goal. Positive reinforcements can hopefully improve his behavior and make for a happier child. Good Luck!
I have one female student that hits everyone (including teacher and assistant when things do not go her way). No matter the time: before breakfast, during circle time, outdoor play. She knows her classmates do not want to play with her because of the hitting and that does not stop her. She keep asking if she is behaving good and demands stickers (we do not give rewards). We are implementing conscious discipline but so far nothing seems to work. We reached out to mom and she said that the child acts the same at home hitting little brother, then crying, then asking for hugs after what she did. The center where I work asked mom if she wanted to be referred for services to find out if she qualifies due to behavior. So far, nothing has worked.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I know how frustrating it can be. I love that you don't give rewards...I don't give rewards for normal expected behavior either...it doesn't make sense. One thing I have done in the past with other kids that has actually worked it I ask the parent if there is an item that is important to the child...it could be a lovie or something like that...(in one of the cases it was a chapstick! ) At the beginning of the day I would say "mom is going to ask me if you can have your chapstick today at the end of class time. In order to get your chapstick back, you cannot hit anyone. I'll give you 3 chances...for your reminder I'll say "chapstick"...and if at the end of the day you haven't hit...mom can give you your chapstick back". For that girl, it took one day of not getting her chapstick back! I had another girl where that didn't work at all...It really depends on the child. I'm gong to try "1-2-3 magic" with a different child in my pre-k this year...Its ROGH! I'm here for support and ideas...share some with me too...sometimes I seriously don't know what to do!
My son is almost 5 and he is hitting and biting (this is a really new one) and his teacher can’t figure out why. She says she doesn’t see any build up to it. For example, he said that a boy pulled on his arm so that’s why he threw him to the ground and hit him. I think the boy might be on the spectrum (I observed at his school to see what could be happening) and their outside space to play is small and pre-k, kindergarten, and 1st grade play together. All the boys play rough and I did see some boys throw others down, push, etc. The boy he said pulled his arm, i did see him grab his arm and the teacher immediately intervened. I don’t believe he hits for no reason. He is fine at home (no siblings) and when we do play dates. I feel defeated because I’m one week I’ve been called by his school three times. I’ve suggested so many things to his school but it doesn’t feel like they are listening.
They keep telling me to talk to him but i already talk to him everyday because he tells on himself on the way back home. I don’t know how I’m supposed to help him when this only happens at school.
I'm wondering if this is defensive in nature. I think a good place to start is to find out if he feels scared or powerless. I had this with a boy in my class a few weeks ago, and it was because his brother was ratcheting up their rough play and he was feeling powerless and defesnsive. His parents helped the boys get through it and everything smoothed out. If your child is feeling powerless at school though, you won't have that much control. You can talk to his teacher and see what she knows. You are doing the right thing. Get to the root of it and it will resolve faster.
Good luck to you. it can be so tough figuring out preschoolers sometimes. Your son is fortunate to have such a good mom
I have one 2 year old kid that hits, kicks and throws toys, especially when he gets frustrated with stem toys. He also gets angry when he can't control his friends during free play or when they disagree with him.
When a child is two...I expect a little of that kind of behavior because it kind of fits their age, but it is a good time to start putting up some solid boundaries and talking to the parents to see what they do when these things happen at home. Sometimes kids get angry/frustrated easily when they feel like they are in charge at home. It's too scary for a 2-5 year old to be in charge! They act like they want that, but it is boundaries that make them feel safe. When they can do whatever they want ...they feel out. of control and they are not ready for the responsibility of being in charge! good luck to you...a lot of parents of 2 year olds have no idea what they are doing and are very receptive to suggestions
@teachpre-k101 Thank you, I might suggest this video to some of my parents so they can try it at home.
I have a Kinder in my class that none of these tips would help. He’s basically a Tasmanian devil, constant moving and hitting, kicking, and cussing his way around my classroom. He doesn’t hear his name when I try to get his attention, he keeps going until he finally elopes. Never had this happen before. It is exhausting!
He sounds like my pre-k kid. so much trauma, anger, and destruction. It is exhausting, nerve wracking, and sometimes scary. Have you met with the parents? is it possible they can or will help? I work in a private school and if the parents were not on board with this child we would have had to turn him away. He is above my paygrade. I love him so much and he can be sweet....but unpredictably the anger comes out...and we have to do our best. I hope it gets better. Does your principal know? Is your Pricipal offering any help or solutions. It sounds like too much for one person!
Sounds like he needs an individualized behavior modification program. Choose one particular behavior and devise a token chart towards the goal. Positive reinforcements can hopefully improve his behavior and make for a happier child. Good Luck!
So if my student is looking for a reaction and he is scratching a child, what do I do?
I'm so glad you emailed me...your situation is tough!