Diane, I feel your frustration! I'm waiting for part 2 of our parent/team mtg to decide best placement for my student. I have an additional 3 in my class we are working with, as well. I have an assistant who is new to this type of learning environment. We've had lots of observations we're waiting for the recommend for services. I've been teaching 27 years in public edu and I have to say this year is in my top 5 for extream behaviors. I'm praying for you and your class to have best case resolution!
It sounds like you are really being supported. I'm glad. It is tough out there. No one fully understands just how hard our job can be! Keep me posted! I have 2nd meeting with mom and principal tomorrow. I may get on tomorrow evening and give an update...I hope it goes well. Best of luck to you too!
Ask for all the help you can get! It’s very distressing when admin doesn’t back you up. Remember that letting this kid continue in this way is not in his best interests let alone that of the other kids. We had a similar situation last year in public tk and along with all the stress it was sad to realize all the activities we were not doing because of the class makeup. Also I hated having negative feelings about the class dynamics
I taught my first preschool class 40 years ago. I loved it. I’m not bragging when I say that I didn’t have an assistant or an aide. No one in my center did. We didn’t need them. Sure, the kids acted out now and then, occasionally got into a tussle over a toy, etc… but absolutely nothing like the behaviors I’m seeing today! What have we done (or not done) with our kids that they are this problematic today? That is what our whole culture needs to address. Where I’m at today there are teachers regularly getting punched, kicked, slapped and spit on. The “greasy wheel” gets all the attention, while the other kids learn to live in fear. We are desperately failing our kids, and I don’t think slapping another label on them and hiring another aide is going to fix the problem. I’ve seen a lot in 40 years, and I’m not sure I want to live in the same world with these kids when they become adults. It’s very sad - and no one seems to want to change it. 🫤
I couldn't agree more. I often think 'gentle parenting' is a factor. I don't think kids need spanking, or harsh treatment in any way...but a more realistic approach to discipline, respect for others, and learning to take accountability for actions would really help. The world is not gentle all the time, and frankly...no one really cares about how you are feeling when you do things that harm or hurt others as we grow older. We just learn right from wrong. Most of the kids I deal with are wonderful and have very proactive parents who teach them accountability and respect for teachers and other adults. But all it takes is one and everything can fall apart. Thanks for your comment
@@EricaWay-c6x It's almost too easy to blame things on screen time. While I think it is a factor....it's what is ON the screen that matters...not just the time. Also, I think too much screen time equals checked-out parents...so it's not really the screens... it's unsupervised screens. I have no problem with age-appropriate screen time that fosters learning and adds something positive for the kids.
I appreciate you sharing this, i am struggling with this as well as a full time prek assistant teacher, i work full time at an all day center and it is challenging. I have 2 boys in the room that behave this way, the one is more aggressive and the other one has a tendency to copy, although he was not aggressive at first, he is now. I think the most challenging thing for me is that the parents of almost all of the children do not want to acknowledge or work together to make a difference for their child, and the administration is not offering much support either. I feel that almost all of the blame is being put on me and the lead teacher in the room, but we cannot do much if the parents are brushing off concerns and making excuses (I have heard "it's a boy thing" so many times and that just is not true, there are many other little boys in the room that are not throwing chairs and needing to be carried to the office regularly for hurting other children and/or teachers). The ratio at my job is 12 to 1, and we typically have 20 children per day. I am not really sure how to deal with this behavior without parental or management support as well :(. Thank you for sharing your story and experiences with this. Praying that it gets better in the years to come and that these children get the help they need because I also highly suspect that some of them are on the spectrum and/or have adhd, saying without judgement as an adult who is diagnosed with adhd as well. God bless you 🙏🏻✝️❤️
Oh my gosh! My heart is breaking for you right now. I know the anxiety that comes with this and I know that this behavior makes the other children anxious and just breeds chaos. I am lucky to have a very supportive administration who helped me along the way. I am an experienced teacher and I had to admit I was out of my depth with this child. We tried for a while to make it work, but he was just too much to handle. We had to let him go. My anxiety is gone and the class is a noisy, happy, SAFE bunch of kids now...totally workable. I want you to know it is not your fault or the lead teacher's...I am sure you know that. Some kids require a level of attention that is just not possible in a regular classroom setting-especially one of that size with just two people...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 2?...Until the country at large finds out a way to make our childcare and preschool system work better and gives us teachers and aides the help and respect we deserve, these kids will just fall through the cracks and take a lot of other kids with them. Are you going to tell me the other kids are not being traumatized by this behavior? The truth is...they are! The kids around these kids now have anxiety that will follow them as they move on through school and other situations where they are interacting with other kids. Your administration or directors need to hear this and help you two! The other parents should demand it! I am so sorry and I hope things get better or you get more help. Please email me with some updates..this is near to my heart and I will be thinking of you and your lead on a daily basis I am sure. teachprek101@gmail.com. Bless YOU! each and every day! I appreciate you and the work you do...it isn't easy and it is NOT "just playing with kids". Good thin we make the big bucks 'eh? LOL!
It’s kinda sad that I was smiling while hearing your story. It was only because I could relate to it too well. I have 23 public school Kinders, a full time aide, and three students similar to yours. My teaching partner has 24 students, a full time aide, and two students like yours. We also each have one non-verbal on top of that that wander and get into everything. Not sure how we are going to make it through the year. We’ve been saying we can’t do this since the first day of school and, although they have tried several things, nothing has really helped yet. You are not alone!
Thank you...what are people thinking? They expect us to be miracle workers, yet don't acknowledge when we actually are! It is difficult...but at least I only have 16! BEst of luck...it is good to know we are not alone...but isn't that also kind of alarming?
You always seem to speak to my soul. I have a very similar situation going on in my room this year. It’s gotten progressively worse since Halloween and I’ve had to call for help. I can tolerate a lot but I am at my breaking point. Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed to hear every word! ❤
It sounds like we are in the same boat! Our job is so much harder than people think. It is not all sunshine, singing and happiness...there are some real behavior issues. The day to day is to be expected, but we know when we are at our breaking point...and for most of us that is much further than it would be for any other teacher. We have so much patience because we have to. Our kids are so little and so new. However, when we can't take it anymore...it's a HUGE red flag! Good luck to you! I'm glad I'm not alone, but I'm sad that anyone is going through something similar...
Thank you for sharing this. Good timing. Seems like a lot of us are struggling with this. It's tough. And yes, it IS a huge deal, and it's disrespectful to not be receiving the help you need.
I am very impressed with your post...I struggle with this very thing. Special needs kids in the public school system are especially problematic. I had to accept a 3 year old, no preschool experience (just turned 3 the Friday before) in APRIL. It completely disrupted the class. Because the child had been identified by Child Find to have special needs, there was NO choice and NO extra help.
This is the problem with Early childhood education. They think we can DO everything and handle everything...and choose to pay most of the teachers very little. It is a difficult job that few understand. I had a year where I got a troubled student mid-march and it did the same thing...I am in a private school and the parish priest wanted the mom as his secretary and the only way she would is to put her daughter in preschool...well, over quota and now a severe behavior problem...great...no boundaries...it is SO hard. We have very little choices. Thanks for commenting...we are not alone
I remembered you mention in your videos you’re having a rough year ( last year ) . I thought you were talking about the last year classroom. I’m new to Pre-K world , I’m on my second year but I experienced all the good , bad and the ugly already . I have a student like the one you described. He is hard to handle even with a Personal Aid on his side .
My really rough class was 2 years ago. I had 12 rough kids out of 16...but not one was as rough as this one single child in my class this year. I have days where I feel so defeated, but I know that this time I'm keeping admin and parents in the loop the entire time. No one has observed even after our first big meeting. Makes us feel like we, and this child just don't matter in the scheme of things...so frustrating! Tomorrow is second meeting...wish me luck!
It just wears you out and wears you down doesn't it? I hate the times when I'm just counting the days until our next break! I love my job, I love the kids...I even love the one that is causing all the trouble! His problems are just too big for us to handle with 15 others in the class...it is not possible. Good luck to you! I always love to see you pop up in the comments!
It is unfortunate how behaviors can affect the entire classroom. The loss of instructional minutes is impacted by classroom disruptions and behaviors. Teachers take on far more than anyone outside of the professional will ever understand.
You are so right Kelly! Sometimes I think that because we are Pre-K, we just don't register as being important enough for notice or help. It is so frustrating!
Start praying for (incognito over ) this child. Some key words you said (we’re DESTROYING everything, changing the entire class atmosphere, growling) plus the unsupervised screen time - scary non-age appropriate language you mentioned… sounds like there could be a spiritual aspect going on as well. You teach in a religious environment, right? I would ask God for insight and wisdom into this specific situation. ❤
That child is not at my school anymore. He raged really hard one day and seriously hurt another child...as I predicted he would. My class feels secure and happy and they are a loud and joyful bunch. Trust me...prayers have been said. His mom posts on social media about him punching her in the face and being violent with her...yet somehow I was the one who wasn't equipped to handle him and I needed to lower my expectations in regards to his behavior. Plus...maybe posting about your own child like that is part of the problem? I feel for him and worry about what his life is going to look like. I ask God to bless him and his mom every day. I hope it does some good.
Well Diane, Children don't have the freedom that adults do so therefore, choices are made for them regardless if those choices make the child happy or if they set the child off. Children are forced by law to go to school or get schooling starting at a certain age and for children home life and school life are foreign to each other and for a lot of children that can turn into a problem and even a bigger problem when they are going through trauma at a level where they have no space for learning in their head and part of that requires parent involvement in the education of the child. So, yes if you need to throw the parent(s) under the bus to get them involved you do so. It is not fair to the children or to you all the schools to be bound by the laws that you all are bound under to have the adults who bring those children into the world give you no support with them. Shoutout to those who even in the most harshest of situations keep handling things like a champ. - Dwight
We think we can't which is part of the problem...everytime we let them think we csna handle the worst...they throw more at us and expect us to rise to the occasion. If you've been teaching long enough, you know exactly what I mean. I think I'm at the point where I need to let the powers that be know when I think I'm out of my depth. Not being honest never helps anyone. Will it do any good? Maybe not. But at least they know I am NOT superwoman...nor do I want to be.
Diane, this podcast was made for me! I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I am in the same boat except I have to show that my assistant and I are trying different strategies to help this child. At Parent Conferences, I was told to focus on positivity and I tried to say nice things to build rapport with the mom. I just hope that the child will have an evaluation before the end of the year. It is not a safe environment when the child is present and he has perfect attendance, of course! I wish you all the best and maybe you'll have better luck in getting an aide for your student. I have floaters that change almost daily and they have a hard time as well.
They are always the ones with perfect attendance...you hit the nail right smack on top of the head there! I am doing the same thing as you...trying the positive approach, trying different strategies and techniques...but with no admin support except for listening and meetings...how is anyone supposed to make a decision on what to do for this child? I'm so frustrated, but hoping our 2nd meeting-scheduled for tomorrow-goes well and we find some resolution. It is just not safe for the other 15 kids.
@ I am surprised your school administration is not more supportive. I agree it is not safe for the other children. Glad tomorrow there is no school! However, Mondays are harder with my student. Add another day off and I can only imagine Tuesday! Good luck!
Diane, I feel your frustration! I'm waiting for part 2 of our parent/team mtg to decide best placement for my student. I have an additional 3 in my class we are working with, as well. I have an assistant who is new to this type of learning environment. We've had lots of observations we're waiting for the recommend for services. I've been teaching 27 years in public edu and I have to say this year is in my top 5 for extream behaviors. I'm praying for you and your class to have best case resolution!
It sounds like you are really being supported. I'm glad. It is tough out there. No one fully understands just how hard our job can be! Keep me posted! I have 2nd meeting with mom and principal tomorrow. I may get on tomorrow evening and give an update...I hope it goes well. Best of luck to you too!
Ask for all the help you can get! It’s very distressing when admin doesn’t back you up. Remember that letting this kid continue in this way is not in his best interests let alone that of the other kids. We had a similar situation last year in public tk and along with all the stress it was sad to realize all the activities we were not doing because of the class makeup. Also I hated having negative feelings about the class dynamics
It is so hard not to have those negative feelings...thank goodness there are a few good days mixed in...and my expectations are pretty low!
I taught my first preschool class 40 years ago. I loved it. I’m not bragging when I say that I didn’t have an assistant or an aide. No one in my center did. We didn’t need them. Sure, the kids acted out now and then, occasionally got into a tussle over a toy, etc… but absolutely nothing like the behaviors I’m seeing today! What have we done (or not done) with our kids that they are this problematic today? That is what our whole culture needs to address. Where I’m at today there are teachers regularly getting punched, kicked, slapped and spit on. The “greasy wheel” gets all the attention, while the other kids learn to live in fear. We are desperately failing our kids, and I don’t think slapping another label on them and hiring another aide is going to fix the problem. I’ve seen a lot in 40 years, and I’m not sure I want to live in the same world with these kids when they become adults. It’s very sad - and no one seems to want to change it. 🫤
I couldn't agree more. I often think 'gentle parenting' is a factor. I don't think kids need spanking, or harsh treatment in any way...but a more realistic approach to discipline, respect for others, and learning to take accountability for actions would really help. The world is not gentle all the time, and frankly...no one really cares about how you are feeling when you do things that harm or hurt others as we grow older. We just learn right from wrong. Most of the kids I deal with are wonderful and have very proactive parents who teach them accountability and respect for teachers and other adults. But all it takes is one and everything can fall apart. Thanks for your comment
Screen time is a big factor
@@EricaWay-c6x It's almost too easy to blame things on screen time. While I think it is a factor....it's what is ON the screen that matters...not just the time. Also, I think too much screen time equals checked-out parents...so it's not really the screens... it's unsupervised screens. I have no problem with age-appropriate screen time that fosters learning and adds something positive for the kids.
I appreciate you sharing this, i am struggling with this as well as a full time prek assistant teacher, i work full time at an all day center and it is challenging. I have 2 boys in the room that behave this way, the one is more aggressive and the other one has a tendency to copy, although he was not aggressive at first, he is now. I think the most challenging thing for me is that the parents of almost all of the children do not want to acknowledge or work together to make a difference for their child, and the administration is not offering much support either. I feel that almost all of the blame is being put on me and the lead teacher in the room, but we cannot do much if the parents are brushing off concerns and making excuses (I have heard "it's a boy thing" so many times and that just is not true, there are many other little boys in the room that are not throwing chairs and needing to be carried to the office regularly for hurting other children and/or teachers). The ratio at my job is 12 to 1, and we typically have 20 children per day. I am not really sure how to deal with this behavior without parental or management support as well :(. Thank you for sharing your story and experiences with this. Praying that it gets better in the years to come and that these children get the help they need because I also highly suspect that some of them are on the spectrum and/or have adhd, saying without judgement as an adult who is diagnosed with adhd as well. God bless you 🙏🏻✝️❤️
Oh my gosh! My heart is breaking for you right now. I know the anxiety that comes with this and I know that this behavior makes the other children anxious and just breeds chaos. I am lucky to have a very supportive administration who helped me along the way. I am an experienced teacher and I had to admit I was out of my depth with this child. We tried for a while to make it work, but he was just too much to handle. We had to let him go. My anxiety is gone and the class is a noisy, happy, SAFE bunch of kids now...totally workable. I want you to know it is not your fault or the lead teacher's...I am sure you know that. Some kids require a level of attention that is just not possible in a regular classroom setting-especially one of that size with just two people...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 2?...Until the country at large finds out a way to make our childcare and preschool system work better and gives us teachers and aides the help and respect we deserve, these kids will just fall through the cracks and take a lot of other kids with them. Are you going to tell me the other kids are not being traumatized by this behavior? The truth is...they are! The kids around these kids now have anxiety that will follow them as they move on through school and other situations where they are interacting with other kids. Your administration or directors need to hear this and help you two! The other parents should demand it! I am so sorry and I hope things get better or you get more help. Please email me with some updates..this is near to my heart and I will be thinking of you and your lead on a daily basis I am sure. teachprek101@gmail.com. Bless YOU! each and every day! I appreciate you and the work you do...it isn't easy and it is NOT "just playing with kids". Good thin we make the big bucks 'eh? LOL!
It’s kinda sad that I was smiling while hearing your story. It was only because I could relate to it too well. I have 23 public school Kinders, a full time aide, and three students similar to yours. My teaching partner has 24 students, a full time aide, and two students like yours. We also each have one non-verbal on top of that that wander and get into everything. Not sure how we are going to make it through the year. We’ve been saying we can’t do this since the first day of school and, although they have tried several things, nothing has really helped yet. You are not alone!
Thank you...what are people thinking? They expect us to be miracle workers, yet don't acknowledge when we actually are! It is difficult...but at least I only have 16! BEst of luck...it is good to know we are not alone...but isn't that also kind of alarming?
You always seem to speak to my soul. I have a very similar situation going on in my room this year. It’s gotten progressively worse since Halloween and I’ve had to call for help. I can tolerate a lot but I am at my breaking point. Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed to hear every word! ❤
It sounds like we are in the same boat! Our job is so much harder than people think. It is not all sunshine, singing and happiness...there are some real behavior issues. The day to day is to be expected, but we know when we are at our breaking point...and for most of us that is much further than it would be for any other teacher. We have so much patience because we have to. Our kids are so little and so new. However, when we can't take it anymore...it's a HUGE red flag! Good luck to you! I'm glad I'm not alone, but I'm sad that anyone is going through something similar...
Thank you for sharing this. Good timing. Seems like a lot of us are struggling with this. It's tough. And yes, it IS a huge deal, and it's disrespectful to not be receiving the help you need.
Thank you for your support!
I am very impressed with your post...I struggle with this very thing. Special needs kids in the public school system are especially problematic. I had to accept a 3 year old, no preschool experience (just turned 3 the Friday before) in APRIL. It completely disrupted the class. Because the child had been identified by Child Find to have special needs, there was NO choice and NO extra help.
This is the problem with Early childhood education. They think we can DO everything and handle everything...and choose to pay most of the teachers very little. It is a difficult job that few understand. I had a year where I got a troubled student mid-march and it did the same thing...I am in a private school and the parish priest wanted the mom as his secretary and the only way she would is to put her daughter in preschool...well, over quota and now a severe behavior problem...great...no boundaries...it is SO hard. We have very little choices. Thanks for commenting...we are not alone
I remembered you mention in your videos you’re having a rough year ( last year ) . I thought you were talking about the last year classroom. I’m new to Pre-K world , I’m on my second year but I experienced all the good , bad and the ugly already . I have a student like the one you described. He is hard to handle even with a Personal Aid on his side .
My really rough class was 2 years ago. I had 12 rough kids out of 16...but not one was as rough as this one single child in my class this year. I have days where I feel so defeated, but I know that this time I'm keeping admin and parents in the loop the entire time. No one has observed even after our first big meeting. Makes us feel like we, and this child just don't matter in the scheme of things...so frustrating! Tomorrow is second meeting...wish me luck!
@ 🙏🏻
Hey! Just got the new book called “i’m not getting them ready for Kindergarten". A must read for all of u teachers.
I LOVE the title! I'll check it oout. Thanks Jen!
Im exhausted with the behaviors 😢 I have 10 boys and 3 girls. 5 boys and 1 girl gives it to me all day 😭🙏🏽
It just wears you out and wears you down doesn't it? I hate the times when I'm just counting the days until our next break! I love my job, I love the kids...I even love the one that is causing all the trouble! His problems are just too big for us to handle with 15 others in the class...it is not possible. Good luck to you! I always love to see you pop up in the comments!
It is unfortunate how behaviors can affect the entire classroom. The loss of instructional minutes is impacted by classroom disruptions and behaviors. Teachers take on far more than anyone outside of the professional will ever understand.
You are so right Kelly! Sometimes I think that because we are Pre-K, we just don't register as being important enough for notice or help. It is so frustrating!
Start praying for (incognito over ) this child. Some key words you said (we’re DESTROYING everything, changing the entire class atmosphere, growling) plus the unsupervised screen time - scary non-age appropriate language you mentioned… sounds like there could be a spiritual aspect going on as well. You teach in a religious environment, right? I would ask God for insight and wisdom into this specific situation. ❤
That child is not at my school anymore. He raged really hard one day and seriously hurt another child...as I predicted he would. My class feels secure and happy and they are a loud and joyful bunch. Trust me...prayers have been said. His mom posts on social media about him punching her in the face and being violent with her...yet somehow I was the one who wasn't equipped to handle him and I needed to lower my expectations in regards to his behavior. Plus...maybe posting about your own child like that is part of the problem? I feel for him and worry about what his life is going to look like. I ask God to bless him and his mom every day. I hope it does some good.
Well Diane,
Children don't have the freedom that adults do so therefore, choices are made for them regardless if those choices make the child happy or if they set the child off.
Children are forced by law to go to school or get schooling starting at a certain age and for children home life and school life are foreign to each other and for a lot of children that can turn into a problem and even a bigger problem when they are going through trauma at a level where they have no space for learning in their head and part of that requires parent involvement in the education of the child.
So, yes if you need to throw the parent(s) under the bus to get them involved you do so.
It is not fair to the children or to you all the schools to be bound by the laws that you all are bound under to have the adults who bring those children into the world give you no support with them.
Shoutout to those who even in the most harshest of situations keep handling things like a champ.
- Dwight
always so insightful...thanks!
Can teacher say..i cannot do this!
We think we can't which is part of the problem...everytime we let them think we csna handle the worst...they throw more at us and expect us to rise to the occasion. If you've been teaching long enough, you know exactly what I mean. I think I'm at the point where I need to let the powers that be know when I think I'm out of my depth. Not being honest never helps anyone. Will it do any good? Maybe not. But at least they know I am NOT superwoman...nor do I want to be.
Diane, this podcast was made for me! I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I am in the same boat except I have to show that my assistant and I are trying different strategies to help this child. At Parent Conferences, I was told to focus on positivity and I tried to say nice things to build rapport with the mom. I just hope that the child will have an evaluation before the end of the year. It is not a safe environment when the child is present and he has perfect attendance, of course! I wish you all the best and maybe you'll have better luck in getting an aide for your student. I have floaters that change almost daily and they have a hard time as well.
They are always the ones with perfect attendance...you hit the nail right smack on top of the head there! I am doing the same thing as you...trying the positive approach, trying different strategies and techniques...but with no admin support except for listening and meetings...how is anyone supposed to make a decision on what to do for this child? I'm so frustrated, but hoping our 2nd meeting-scheduled for tomorrow-goes well and we find some resolution. It is just not safe for the other 15 kids.
@ I am surprised your school administration is not more supportive. I agree it is not safe for the other children. Glad tomorrow there is no school! However, Mondays are harder with my student. Add another day off and I can only imagine Tuesday! Good luck!