Are INFPs Boring? (4 TRUTHS About "Quiet" INFPs)
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- Boring INFPs? Let's talk about it.
When these Dreamers are uncomfortable, they can be quiet and aloof, making people think INFPs are boring. But when these Dreamers are with nonjudgmental friends and people they trust? It's a different story.
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Fellow INFP here. As I've gotten older, I've come to find that our emotional and verbal intelligence can actually make us extremely skilled in that one thing we all hate doing: interacting with strangers. In one-on-one interactions especially, there are things we do naturally that many other types do not: I feel like my sense of empathy is in overdrive and I'm hyper-aware of the other person's emotions, facial expressions, tone of voice, word choices, etc. Emotional mirroring is also as natural as breathing to INFPs. I'm always thinking of the right words to say in the right tone at the right time. Finally, I think INFPs find it natural to present themselves with real sincerity, which is pretty much always well received. It's still tiring to talk to strangers, but if I'm honest I'm extremely good at it. So hang in there fellow INFPs-- in my experience people actually do like us from afar, but when they get to know us they really really like us.
I'll never forget my fifth grade end of the year field trip. We went to a theme park. Well, my teacher chose our group and I was placed in my grade's "popular girl's" group. But the girl started crying when she saw I was placed in their group and screamed at her mother to replace me because I was "SO BORING." I felt awful as a kid that this girl felt the need to scream and cry and beg her mother to tell the teacher to replace me for one of her actual friends who were not boring. It was kind of traumatic and did a number on my self-esteem.
Aaah. . . The "popular girls" group. . . We never fit in! Always gossiping and talking of superficial things. They are the real boring people! But, yes, it's very hard.
That must have been hard on you. It must have been horrible. 😢
I'm here for you, whenever you need.
Yeah I feel bad for you I get low self system to. one-time I was in home ec and I was with the popular girl's and I got nerves and they were Being mean and I cried in the bathroom the only places to cry in School is embarrassing to cry in class and I feel sorry for you and just so you know your Amazon and sometimes stranger's don't know the real you and I bet your Amazon person and your not boring and yeah the popular girl's is nerves to be around them you feel like your getting judge and is about you but I know I sound stupid but
I felt that too back in college, there are group of friends who don't seem to like me around them because obviously they didn't invite me to their hangout even when I'm just so near them. But it's fine and in the positive side,I avoided drama.😅
Forgive me, but someone having an emotional breakdown over their teammate being too boring is so petty (even for a kid) that honestly it's a hysterical mental image.
It is so frustrating to not find the kind of friends where you can be yourself with. It's always like putting a show where you have to exert more social energy to keep up with that. I have two friends whom I feel comfortable with like that but we rarely get to see each other so im stuck with other friends that im not as comfortable with and honestly it feels a bit suffocating
Omg that is exactly the same for me
You should try to find friends especially online (because its easier) that have the same way of thinking, or hobbies, as well as similar type of personalities mostly found in infj, or intp and that will brighten your life.
@@johnmeyer69 thank you! I had taken the personality test a few weeks after I posted the comment and my type has changed to intp as of now. It's not hard for me to make friends irl, but to build a deep connection with them is what i find hard bc I don't feel emotionally connected with anyone on a personal level probably bc our vibes don't match and i have a fear of getting judged. So i end up creating superficial personalities to match with the other person's vibes. Although finding and making friends online is easier, I still struggle bc i cant keep a conversation going. Plus I tend to let people approach me first than initiate a conversation with them. But as someone who's hard to read and seems unapproachable, that rarely happens to me. Sorry if that seemed like a vent but i appreciate your reply
@@rawr1580 That just sounds like Infp to me, or just me in general lmao 😂
@@johnmeyer69 i wouldn't be surprised if it does. But I've never fully related with the traits of either infp or intp, it feels like I'm a mix of both
I am also an INFP but also have OCD, CPTSD and social anxiety disorder, so it's hard to talk to people. I don't like to go out of even my room except walks very early morning 3-4 AM when no one is out. I don't have any friends either so it makes it even harder. So I just talk to people in the youtube comments but that can only go so far. Anyway great video and very relatable.
Relatable. But i have friends whom i talk through phone only.
It's very relatable to me too. Even though I had few friends at school, everything changed after graduation. Now I speak mostly to one internet friend from different city, but also from my country. I don't have anyone to meet in person, and I stuck in new country, very far from home. But I'm happy that as long as we INFPs have internet, we can be social without meeting people in person. We can share everything here, on UA-cam or other platforms and find people that have same points if view and interests.
I'm saying it to you, because few years ago I would never thought that I would have this close friendship with person I never met, even closer than with people I knew for years. And I met this person online, to be honest, in UA-cam comments 😅 That's why I believe that you'll find soulmate in the right time. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that can be your friends but just never met you yet to discover it.❤
@@blackraven0_0 wow that was nice and insightful, thanks for saying that. Have a nice day
Bro get medications from a psychiatrist, any anxiety you have can be reduced, even your ocd can be treated don't suffer
@@SaikatDutta244 i was getting treatment but cannot anymore i dont want to take more money from my parents so I am preparing for a job rn, will continue medication after that. But honestly in a way I love my OCD and isolation I dont trust anyone so I hate people in general and see the worst in them (only when I see them) Only thing I need is atleast 1 person whom I can tell anything but I dont think such people exist
I think for me as an INFP a huge problem are the expectations of other people.
I feel like people in some social environments expect everyone to behave in certain ways or doing certain stuff, but INFPs from a lot of these stuff couldn't care less or these things could be against their values, so they feel judged even if a lot of times noone is judging them or even care about their existence.
Small talks are an example of this, INFPs doesn't comprehend the utility of small talks, you can have the exact same conversation with thousands of different people and you are not knowing them at all, what INFPs wants are deeper conversation that goes from the troubles of the life through the joys and successes.
This is even why we always become the psychologists unpaid of a lot of our friends.
I can definitely relate. It’s so rare that people let me express myself freely and so I just isolate myself to the point when I’m not talking to anyone. Breaks are just time for me to stare at a wall. This made me think that I really am boring af. I managed to make a friend recently and it was a huge surprise when she said I am never boring.
I can feel the same way I feel boring to people but not my friends and family
Dont wait for there prmesion u are ready have it
yup, I also have that one wall, I'm glad that u found someone
I may be a quiet INFP, but the people who know me and my hobbies know I am anything but boring. Strange yes, a bit reckless, probably, but not boring. I am the guy who is out there sailing and kayaking in all types of weather and going some distance to do it. As you said though, people have to get to know me before that comes out.
I always cut people off and avoid them so they don't find out im boring 😕
I totally relate to this! Ive been searching for friends that understands me.
Now that I’ve found them. I can express myself without being shy. We have common interests. Hobbies, Anime and etc. I love my friends, and to them I’m not boring.
Thank you for a great video!
Absolutely! I think finding the right people or "tribe" is the key. Otherwise, life can feel like one big, lonely existence. I'm still searching for mine.
People who don't know me well think I'm stuck-up. My closest friends have no idea I'm considered quiet. 🤷🏽♀️
An INFP could never be boring.
Love,
INTJs
As an INFP, this is the first time I commented on a personality type related video 😊
off-topic, but i love that you can hear a cat purring in the background of the video 😄
For an INFP, we are like a door with a key to open it. When you found the good key to open it, you will found a strong identity and a lot of thing to discover and share.
We are just people with a protective door against the outside world. Some people will don't understand, the simple reason is we don't want to injured people or injure ourselve.
The last few years, I have been coming to terms with “being boring.” I realized, and need to sit with, the fact that I cannot connect to a significant number of people. I have said this to a friend and she wholly disagreed with my conclusion, but that conversation is endorsed by your video. I am learning to not feel bad and to take the lesson about the other person when I feel like I am dull.
I have a life-long group of friends that barely get me, half their jokes just don't land on me, and vice versa. But at some point I understood they still liked having me around. What makes it work I think is that they stopped expecting me to mirror their vibes, and I stopped trying to. I've just always been... there, and that's the only thing that matters.
Now I have other INFP and INTJ friends that get me very well, but I'm not giving up my old group, they were there for me when I was too quiet and didn't have any friends.
I can definitely relate. Especially with the interests thing, but the problem with that is I will rarely bring up my interests because I feel like people just don't care about them and nobody really asks me about them either. And sometimes when I do try to talk about them, the subject will get changed so quickly and I don't bring them up again because I don't want to annoy people
I relate to this video! I'm still searching for true friends who are just like me haha. I finally found peace knowing that I'm not alone, because I get misinterpreted as boring by some people, but i am fun when surrounded by a smaller group of people i know. I always look forward to your videos, keep sharing!
Yesss. Never give up finding our tribe! Let's do this!
Can totally relate to not having work friends - for 3 years in my case! I did not feel comfortable there and felt very isolated and excluded from everyone else. The general conversations that I overheard related to clubbing and The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and My Kitchen Rules. I don't go clubbing or watch any of those shows so naturally couldn't relate and the TV show discussions were so incredibly boring. I felt that every time I mentioned one of my interests, they would get bored to death as well. I regret not leaving there sooner, it was not a pleasant work environment and I feel that my mind is stuck with those negative thoughts even though it's been 10 years since I started working there!
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This is something I really felt with telling an ENFP friend I considered myself introverted. He considers himself introverted too, but from my perspective, he definitely seems more outgoing than me. In high school, he would often stay after class and have a chat with teachers. I did so very sparingly. There were some teachers I really liked, but most of the time, I just wanted to sit down with the boys. And we’d often just talk together. And sometimes to our own thing (watching YT videos or something). When we did the latter, my ENFP quite often left us to go do other things in break time. I would honestly like to approach people in a way he does, but I just cannot do it innately. The friendships I have were either set in motion by teachers playing 4D chess, or my friend approached me.
Both of us do need our recharging alone time. And we can connect with certain autistic traits we share, though every case of autism is shaped differently.
I think the reason he was so surprised, is because I’m the connective tissue in my friend group. Said friend group is just the four of us, and I picked up all of them in different stages of my life. All of them were initially my friends. And I felt comfortable around them before they felt comfortable around one another. And in this small little sub world where I know all the inhabitants, it’s easy, comfortable and natural to become more extroverted. But apart from my close family (parents and brother), I can’t really be like that anywhere else. Not with the same ease and comfort. And ENFP friend doesn’t nearly have as much insight into that world as I do myself. No one does, obviously.
finding this channel and binge-watching their content is like having my entire life and every encounters played back to me! and I thought getting diagnosed last year with ADHD and BPD explained alot!
Thank you for your esthetic and useful videos ❤
As a fellow INFP I can relate to those points. When I was younger, I thought that I was boring because I didn't know too much facts. However, while time has been flowing, I've realized that I just was intrested in other subjects than my surroundings. That makes me feel comfortable and more understanding that people have different interests so the worst action is judging someone for his/her passion. It's better to find out something new 👍
I didn't realize how true this was until after I graduated high school and went to college. None of my friend group came to this college with me, so I was on my own in more ways than one. Now I already knew I was picky about the people I hung out with, but my assumption back then was that I only really liked hanging out with the quirky weirdos - the kind of people who would stereotypically be labeled "outcasts" in every other high school flick. And while my main group of friends was indeed that, they were also people that I'd spent several years with - some as far back as early elementary school. When I got to college, I got along well enough with several people, but I didn't realize how hard it actually was building new connections. So I retreated back into my solitary lifestyle while trying to keep in touch with my old friends, but we all had stuff keeping us busy - both back then and well past COVID. The only genuine connection I made in college was with the campus mascot (if you know about LSU, then you know Mike The Tiger ).
I've done a lot of soul searching in the last year or so, especially in regards to my reoccuring depression. I also looked into the possibilities of my having ADHD as well as BPD. After accepting that my brain is wired more different than I first believed, then came the acceptance that I'll only ever fully be myself around certain people. I don't always know what details to look for in these people, but I guess that's where trusting my intuition comes into play :) sometimes something will just click and I'll know!
Omg I went through this stage, in high school I was surrounded by a lot of diverse people and could express myself fully and went to college for 2 years and no one really spoke to me or engaged in a conversation. I spent most of my lunch times alone and was depressed and still recovering from that.
I have only one friend and we are both so crazy when being with each other and laugh really hard at meaningless topics. But when going outside, she's the only one that keep her craziness while I'm trying to be as normal as I can.
Yeah I have 2 friends and with one of them we are crazy and funny and also try to be normal I feel the same way
Your videos are so real and comforting.
Thank you 🙂
At the end of the highschool, my classmates, they all said that I wish I could know you earlier, i didn't know that you are funny this much :D well i like being late bloomer and yes people much more boring so I usually don't want to talk to them, idc about they think me I'm boring
Totally relate! It's also true about the stuff that happened at my place to work. I have somekind of community where these people are a volunteer for health issue. Then our relationship just keep getting better and better the next activities what we participate in. We get to get better and better until we reach the point where projects are start to come to our volunteer community, then things start to get worst. Everyday the people there just keep enjoying these never ending conflict, people talking bad of others and they just keep doing it like draining my energy so much. So bad, one by one my friends are starting to seperate in different ways. From the best friends in the world I've ever had till we're like never contact each other again even tho we're in the same city. It's kinda like the new Spider-Man 2 game by Insomniac where Peter Parker are unite with the Venom Symbiote, he became so rude he never like that before, it's start to hurting everyone close to him. The point is it's crazy how constant negativity can tear your friendship apart, totally unecessary. Like look where we are in the end. We're like Avengers breaking up 😂
Yes. Totally. So interesting finally understanding myself!😊
"2 years of faking it" did more years then that because being an INFP on building site was the same for me, i couldn't be mysef or quite some time...
Oh yes 💯💯💯💯I was thinking this today, that I can’t engage with toxic people at my work , I’m bored and I feel they think that I’m boring too.
Yeah for me now a days it's so fustrating around people even though it it's my family, but I can't open up to them. But this video makes me feel better and warm
this video was too relatable as an infp. I definitely have to feel you out and get comfortable with expressing myself around you.
Thanks.
I’m binge watching your videos right now.
Yayy! Happy watching. Thank you, Belle. 😊
Holy ship an hour early😮
Truly the relatable moment of all time
definitely agree. ive never had the experience of having true friendship and being myself around anyone but maybe one day. id say im pretty chill and a lone wolf which can appear to be boring but its all about perspective
Oh gosh, same thing happened to me. A relatively new ENFJ workmate also asked me how am i an Introvert.
very very true!
OMG YES FINALLY THE ANSWER
Yes I relate. All of it is true.
Never been this early to one of these videos 😁
Thank you.
I totally agree with this 😂
Totally true
Well. since you ask! My reflection on infp i've met . is that they are a bit self absorbed ..
Having autism, adhd, and bipolar depressive disorder makes me a quiet person too because I'm usually plain anti-social and avoid outings and interactions actively
So true!😭
I completely feel the same way
Its all damn TRUE
Yup!
I am extremely comfortable with being boring. I have accepted myself!
Yeah. I relate to those until I figured my other minds and learned how to socialize properly.
rn I feel like I'm in a wrong university and course even tho I am graduating this year. :') during highschool I'm super friendly but rn I barely have any interactions with ppl because I can't seem to fit in and pandemic happened
How I wish I find my own tribe soon. I've been very lonely for 4 yrs in engineering school.
For me I am slowly finding my group. My boyfriend I met at 19 and a half after never dating and I have one friend with similar intrests I met in school but never talked to and then caught up with last year. It takes a while but when you find the right people they seem to become deeper friends than most people.
OMG I'M AN INFP WITH A ENFJ BEST FRIEND TOOO!!!
Me tooo
Yes I'm boring when I'm bored and I'm not boring when I'm not doing boring shit. I'm going to go back to thinking about doing something really not boring for the next 5 hours and then I'm going to do nothing I just dreamed about because I'm tired now from doing all that thinking about not doing boring stuff for the past 5 hours.
.
U know there’s INFPs in the comments when there’s thousands of paragraphs 💀
Regardless, I'm INFP but I have problems of mental like depression and stress.
That's why I'm jobless in 4 years.
With this video I'm understand but they does not understand it from my country.
Why they hate INFP?
Watching infp-related videos to convince myself that I’m normal. 😂
When someone shows toxic behavior im done lol
100% this video is accurate, i used to be around good friends who cared about their passions and hobbies in highschool. But since college it's all down hill because everyone is just here to make themselves get that diploma and it sucks being an infp.
bro daydreamed watching this video hahahah
I am an INFP and I'm a massive party animal... lol.
Any infps in Africa?😢
I’m definitely a “boring” INFP. 😂 I believe not many people are boring, when you let them be who they really are, and when you find your mutual interests.