I Am Here....Now - BAD MOVIES!
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- Опубліковано 5 чер 2016
- A review of Neil Breen's I Am Here....Now!
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Neil Breen interview:
• VHS Massacre Radio: In...
Fan art done by UnofficialSkeleton:
unofficialskeleton.deviantart....
#neilbreen #fatefulfindings #iamherenow - Комедії
It doesn't matter that you've been away for a long time. All that matters is that you are here... Now.
Boobalopbop this is a great comment
You forgot a dot.
You jack fraud, there's suppose to be four dots
Boobalopbop I looked for comments like this. These were some Fateful Findings.
Well it ain't hard to find these comments, especially if you just Pass Thru.
Women in tank tops and no bras. License-free special effects -- check. Lots of laptops -- check. Wooden acting -- check. A late-middle aged naked man -- check. Yep. It's a Breen film.
I come from seven years in the future and I’m here to say: 1. Skip 2019 and beyond. And 2. Mark is still here reviewing bad movies!
I love how Neil sees his character as a benevolent being, however he can’t see how sleeping with a young distraught drug addict who just witnessed the loss of her boyfriend is problematic.
"...God pulls up in his pick-up truck..."
That's honestly a statement I didn't think I'd hear today.
Wait ‘til you see this guy’s review of The Apple. God pulls up in a Rolls Royce.
You must not listen to much country music.
Captain Kirk: What does God need with a pickup truck?
@@projectmayhem6898 Nothing. He just stole it for the lols.
God must be from the south😆😆😆
The #1 mistake amateur filmmakers make is including scenes that do nothing to move the plot forward. Breen, being the avant garde genius that he is, has turned this common faux pas into an art form. He makes entire movies which don't move the plot forward, or even ever make clear what the plot is supposed to be.
So he's made crappy movies into an artform?
@@spankynater4242 No.
@@CursedShrine yes
Wanted: actors.
Skill set: must be unable to act.
I love how all the women wear the same top just in different colours. Neil probably got a set of those in a sale for 3 bucks or sth.
I came here to comment the same thing 🤣
And he hates Bra.
@@mirmina4643 Bras are just another face of oppression.
@@xxMpEGxx oh God,i got it now.
Neil is a legend.
That’s another thing I noticed! 😆
The most depressing thing about this movie is that man's make a wish was to see the Las Vegas sign.
The gang in this movie makes the Samurai Cops Gang looks like an actual gang
This movie makes Samurai Cop an actual masterpiece!
19:51 "I'm an environmental activist, and it's getting me nowhere." Neil Breen is actually spitting truth here.
Being a full time activist in any capacity is not typically a sustainable way to make income. However, I'm pretty sure what she means by "activist" is that she works in the renewable energy sector. Just not explained very well. There you are 100% WRONG. Renewable energy is actually one of the fastest growing job sectors. In just one year renewable energy jobs rose by 700,000 to nearly 13 million. There are plenty of opportunities in renewable energy resources. Regardless of what the fossil fuel industry tells you.
@@ryno202 No such thing as "fossil" fuels. Underground petroleum reserves are continually renewed, not made from one batch of dinosaur bones like your 3rd grade teacher said. You're free to driver a battery powered car if you want, but commies are ruining society for the rest of us. Drill, baby, drill.
@@ryno202 Petroleum is a source of renewable energy
Or maybe their company just makes shitty solar panels that no one wants to buy?
@@ryno202 It's a scam, and you bought it. And your data is proven nonsense.
I like how the guy is better at not running into people after he's blinded
Neil Breen and Tommy Wiseau doing a movie together, the universe would explode due to the pure awesomeness!
gud mädz not really cause the great thing of tommy wiseau is cause it was meant to be serious but I feel like it would turn into samuricop 2
I think I would actually die of laughter if I saw that.
With Samurai Cop cast with vintage mustaches and mullets
i dunno bout that LoL, shit + shit doesn't make "better" shit, you just end up with a bigger pile ...
Put Nguyen and Bole in there and you will have the four horseman of the apocalypse.
The fact he lives and works in Las Vegas (Atlantic City's pretty sister) but utterly lacks the ability to portray Gang Violence, The Cartels Illegal Immigration Exploitation, Party Drugs or Prostitution remotely accurate always adds more to his films for me.
"God pulls up in his pickup truck". Must be a great movie
17:04. Oh my god, she just bonks her head off the side and they're all just like "keep filming, this take is gold!" XD
His face looks exactly like a Michael Myers mask.
Michael Myers mask is modeled after William Shatner.
I thoght it looked like the main character from the game Planescape Torment.
Stop it. The man is gorgeous.
@deetgeluid That’s why he finds every excuse to be naked in his movies.
That's doing William Shatner a disservice.
Red Letter Media did Double Down.
YMS did Fateful Findings.
And now Mark's done I Am Here...
Now.
THE TRILOGY IS COMPLETE.
YASSSS
I just saw Red Letter Media's Double Down review today and now Mark does the other films? What are the odds?!
Now we neef IHateEverything to hop on the Breen Train 😆
+JohnMigle I honestly wondered the same thing...........
The Breenpocalypse is upon us!
'Maybe to put on a shirt that's not inside out'
Brilliant😂
''The Being'...
Neil Breen...
The Breeing...
Please no
Supreme Breen
Im a human Breeing.
Lmfao
DragonMaiden77 That sounds more like Brie Larson.
In defence of the actors, a bad director and writer can destroy any skill they might have. But still... they might just be bad.
very true
Well, watch 22:23 again if you have any doubt about blondie in white tank top. She doesn't even TRY to hide her smile!
Edit: To be completely fair her script is so preposterous and idiotic that I would probably crack up, too!
the prequels are a testament to that. grade A actors for the most part. only two of them were really able to slightly be convincing.
zbrown02 Prequels to what? Be specific.
Anime Tomboy Enthusiast star wars
Is saying "Oh, hi Mark" appropriate now?
Only I can say it.
+Tommy Wiseau Are you the real Tommy Wiseau?
+Tommy Wiseau you must be kidding me arnt you!
+deathpresent101 hahahahaha
Tommy my main man
The first 4 minutes of this video had better acting than all of Neils films put together.
Ha, I agree💯
You know what it is - Mark has the air of a really stoned dude looking at his surroundings and realizing he's somehow still the only person who makes any sense.
Yes
I don't know how Neil Breen did it but this film makes The Room, Birdemic and Troll 2 look like they have Shakespeare quality acting and writing when compared to this.
Oh God, that's....so true. Why? Why?!
They have fantastic quality in the laughs per minute department.
You are tearing me apart, Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!
+Moby Dick "I did not hit her, this is all a lie I DID NAAAAHHHHT"
"Oh hai Mark."
Wait a minute... Long driving scenes, stilted acting, audio mistakes, AND a really bad environmental message?
This movie is Birdemic.
CowabungaWo101 don't you dare compare anything to that masterpiece, shame on you
I'm pretty sure the blonde girl quit the film halfway through, and Neil just gave the rest of her story to Amber. That's why you never see blondie again and Amber suddenly also gets fired from the same job. It's like Neil panicked and had to reshoot the gets fired scenes with Amber instead because blondie had left. I think it's pretty clear that blondie was going to fall apart in the drug and prostitution world she'd been introduced to and then get redeemed, which is what we see happen to Amber. My guess is that blondie refused to do the sex scenes at the end with Neil.
Wouldn't surprise me. I've also read that the woman at 10:52 told Neil that she didn't want to do nudity, but Neil wanted her to expose her breasts in that scene. That's why there's that awkward unbuttoning her button and then they stop. The other awkwardness no doubt because it's just badly done.
At 6:08 you can see that he uses the exact same picture of himself on all the covers.
Real human Breen...
And a Neil hero
lmfaoooo YMS
drive?
Well done, sir. 10/10
MadelineTopper
Wait, he stole this from YMS without giving him credit?! 0/10
MadelineTopper
There are no coincidences. Haven't you seen "Signs?"
Do his posters use the same face shot? lol
xisumavoid hahaha he does!!!
Was thinking the same thing, lol.
“I’ve been working on a new look called Magnum”
Hes a fucking genius... These movies are hillarious!
@@bradysmith4245 looks kinda like blue steel to me..
Poor guy, my uncle had "cancerchemo" too.
I love how Neil freezes time…..except for the cars whizzing by constantly.
Wait, the shot of the girls sunbathing on the floats is used in the driving scene before. So basically the scene was used before it actually happened. WHAT?!
Seems so. :-)
Maybe he foresaw the future. Y'know, he's a god-alien.... -guy after all. :-)
Foreshadowing.........
freewilliam93 He doesn’t know how it works lol
I knew it! Tommy Wiseau took another human host!
Lobo Neiner yeah this seriously makes the room not seem that bad lol
@@bradysmith4245 It's been a while since I have watched The Room and sure, the sets look cheap and the camera work isn't outstanding but the movie itself still would be passable for a made for tv film. No, the "magic" of the Room is in its Star: Tommy Wiseau himself! I mean, the other actors don't seem that bad but honestly I can hardly tell becauseTommy blinds the viewer with such ineptitude that they could suddenly turn into mannequins that I wouldn't notice the change...
And then there's the story. Boy... I'm no director or movie maker but I have rarely seen a film where the first and second act alternate multiple times before the third and final one! 1) Characters are introduced. Motivations are established. Exposition is given. 2) Conflicts. 3) Climax/resolution. But if you watched the movie you know that 1 and 2 loops 4 or 5 times, and sometimes with such redundancy that you might ask yourself: "wait... we've been through that already, haven't we?" But we did! What a marvelous piece of cinematic anomaly this is. ; )
anik monette yeah it’s definitely bad. But not as bad as this stuff. This stuff is so bad it went beyond being funny to just making me mad that anyone could make a movie this terrible.
I AM CONFUSED......NOW
I'm five years late, but that opening monologue was hilarious. Y'all are fine actors💯🙏🏼
Do you know what a monologue is?
@melonie_peppers do you know dramatic asides are asshat? It all falls under the same umbrella as monologues. Didn't think dramatic asides sounded right, but since you're here to eff with people with your genius I'll let you be the know it all.
For anyone wondering, the music he uses in the background of his videos is called, "Happy go lively".
Thanks!!
Preciate that
Used in the Spongebob episode “Squidville”
I'm so glad Neil Breen is getting some attention. His movies are masterpieces
Good one. You almost made me spit out the water I was drinking while reading your comment. xD
Well they're pieces of something :D
all joking aside I love his movies :3
masterpieces of flawlessness might i add.
Yeah, forget Casablanca or Taxi Driver, there's a new masterpiece around...
Masterpieces of shit
16:59
That chick hit her head against the pool edge pretty hard lol. Also this is the same back yard from faithful findings isn't it?
Respect nature while ur driving aimlessly around in ur giant fuel guzzler.
Did anyone else notice that Amber has angel wings tattooed on her back?
Get it? Because Alien God Guy falls in love with her and saves her? Get it? Because she's a beautiful soul who has fallen from grace? Get it? Get it?! It's on the poster, did you see it??? SYMBOLISM!
@SomethingScanning Oh God, that burn.
Mary Magdalene was a hooker too. I don't think you're getting the symbolism...
I chuckled and snorted. That was so funny
🤣🤣🤣
Nah, I don't see it. Still could've been more clear haha
Dude looks like a cross from Mr. Spock and Gary Shandling. Mark you give us......everything!
I thought of Richard Gere. :-)
Everything?
For anyone who is interested the long haired gangster is played by Gunter Nezhoda who is the dad of René Nezhoda from Storage Wars. I've spoke to him a few times about his role in this film. He has a UA-cam channel too.
This movie was made because that dude wanted to nail the twins
Matthew Conrad It was more about his “No Bra” policy on set. Watch the other reviews, no woman, but massive DD cups, wear bras, and it’s usually very thin shirts even on obviously cooler days.
How does he get these women to play these parts? I'm guessing that's where the vast majority of the budget goes.
@@jaywunder13242
There's no shortage of people that'll sell themselves for 15 minutes to fame my man
Well, that's a pretty good reason.
@d
Found the incel... again. This is like the third video and seventh comment you're writing this crap on.
People aren't saying this because they're women, if his movies had an absurd amount of topless men they'd be writing similar comments.
I can also assure you that none of the women in this or his other films are doing porn, so I don't know why you're generalizing women as "they would do porn" just because they appeared without bras in some crappy movie.
Get a life.
I didn't know that "I Am Here.... Now" was the title of the bad movie. I thought it was an announcement from Mark LOL
Huuuhh, I need more coffee.
kira38ify 😂😂😂
Funny how, no matter how bad his films are, Neil Breens movies are inspiring to wannabe film-makers like myself.
There is a wealth of knowledge of "what not to do" in them.
+Tony Reed
Is it because it makes you realize that there will always be someone worse?
YSV Rao i watch bad-movie clip packages from all the YT critics...it actually does help you with writing by giving you negative examples of the craft. "okay as long it doesn't read like THIS..."
What a sad admission.
This is how I pronounce the title of this movie:
I am here
(Silence for few seconds)
NOW (loudly)
I like how Neil clearly buys co2 BB guns, similar ones, and reuses them with different characters like they’re different guns or something even tho both are identical.
So it's basically a Nolan movie? Enigmatic structure that encourages the invested viewer to speculate about all the weird clues and symbols.... wait, sounds even more like a Kubrick film. Yes! Neil Breen is a genius! 127 takes -nope, not Breen, he dosen't need them, first one is just fine!
:-D
He's a Film-Maker from Bizarro world.
Lmaoooooooo "weird clues and symbols" u hv won the Internet 😂😂😂😂
😂
Bizarro Kubrick... oh jesus
17:05. That girl hits the back of her head on the concrete. Bet that sucked.
but at least it was funny. the best part of the movie wasn't planned 😂
Oh yeah!!! Really sexy stuff! 😂😂😂
@@cvspvr *Twisted Pair
I REFUSE to believe that EVERYONE in this movie has the same, consistently horrible, wooden acting ! …. I’m willing to bet that anyone reading this can act WAY better than anyone in this film. It HAS to be intentional…or at least I have to believe that it is.
@@kurtwk agreed. Breen knows making these ridiculous films is the reason he gets the attention he does so he has to be telling these actors to do this on purpose.
"I don't think I've been this bored and confused within the first ten minutes of a movie" ... you've obviously never seen begotten!
SDallstar Or Moonlight. I've watched some long movies (Lawrence of Arabia, Sacrifice by Andrei Tarkovsky, Barry Lyndon and the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy, just to name a few), but Moonlight is just boring and lacks meaningful character depth.
@@princekyle4132 ...what? Hmm an anime profile that dislikes a movie with black gay characters. There's a shocker. Not.
I think these movies are a glimpse into how Breen sees the world. And not just with corrupt politicians and the importance of finding different sources of energy, but things like how he perceives the passing of time, or how people react to situations and the way life events organically play out (like how someone ends up a prostitute; they must get fired and convinced to be one by a relative).
Breen is lacking in the common sense department though. Maybe that’s how he sees the world, but the world isn’t quite like that in reality.
Yes, he sees it in a comically simplistic and unnuanced way. Like he's 4 years old or something.
LOL when that girl puked after that cringey death scene 22:21 I could not stop laughing. Glad you're back Mark
Wiseau.......Ngyen.......Breen.....The Holy (shit) Trinity.:)
Uwe Boll
He's Satan in this analogy!:)
what about Derek Savage aka daddy Derek?
He is the Antichrist:) haha
+Mariangeles Sanhá is that the Cool Cat guy???
To paraphrase Dylan Kaiser, Neil Breen is Bizzaro Stanley Kubrick.
Neil, straight up looks like a live action Beavis!
It's not true. I did not her, it's bullshit, I did not hit her, I did not!
Oh, hi Mark.
How's your sex life?
Haha What a story mark
I will record everything...
Oh hi doggie
+dylan beesley What kind of drugs do you take!?!?
It's great to see you back. It's Breen a long time.
😂😂😂
Neil Breen reimagining Hamlet's "Alas poor Yorik" monologue as a soliloquy. 9:57
Yes we got that reference thanks.
Honestly with watching all these videos about Neil. The alien makeup is the best thing he’s done in all of these. That face doesn’t look bad and it’s about creepy
Maybe because he starts out creepy.
I screamed when I saw Mat....
Same
Me tooo!!!! Jeez, I missed him
YESSSSSS!!!!
He lost a lot of weight!
WTF? That's Matt? I liked him better as the funny fat guy. Without him being fat, Mark has to be the funny fat guy. No, sir. Not cool!
Now THIS is a channel I forgot I was subbed to. What a nice surprise!
the opening of the film reminds me of 2001 a space odyssey in terms of how weird it is. the difference is that space odyssey was artistically weird and this is just uncomfortable. i was expecting Neil to start reciting Shakespeare when he held the skull in his hand
18:48 I love how right after ‘god’ freezes all the people, a car specifically drives by
Neil Breen, seek help immediately.
Wow. I commend you for sitting through this entire movie and watching it in detail to write a review. I couldn't even bear the short clips you've shown us without cringing and covering my eyes. The second-hand embarassment was just too much. xD Good to have you back, man! Love your shit!
Thanks Charles!
+FanboyFlicks You came back
17:04 damn that had to hurt I can't believe they left that in
22:45
*makes look of disapproval*
*vomits*
*look of disapproval*
*vomits again*
*D I S A P P R O V A L*
is that the same friend from the twilight vids?? because if it is wow he lost so much weight he looks great
Yep it's our old buddy Matt!
Really? I did not thought he was the same. He looks totally different!
Seems like some of the weight got transfered to Mark. ^^
What?
Yeah I noticed that too! He looks really good
Welcome back dude :-)
Its so good to see you back mark. Missed your shows. I always watch them when I'm down from a bad movie. You are great at what you do, so please, never quit ! All the best bro.
There should be a challenge among directors and actors to try and make a Neil been movie actually good or seem realistic.
I thought your reviews would start getting gradually worse, but they are actually getting better in my opinion.
thanks!
Mark is back! Good to see you back dude, I've been looking forward to another review of yours for a while now, I think I need a life :)
this is my dinner show
Three screams, two vomits and one hell of a good time; that editing was almost Birdemic-bad. I feel sorry for people who have no idea how entertaining horrendous movies are. Once again, excellent video!
I literally rewatch your videos on a weekly basis, dude! Keep up the amazing work, you need more recognition.
IM SO HAPPY YOURE BACK MAN!!!!!!! You're seriously such a big inspiration for me, and seriously all these videos are the reason I want to go to film school
your the best my friend we love u and your work in iraq
Man! It is great to have this guy back! He is awesome!
UnofficialSkeleton here! Just wanted to thank you for featuring my art!
It’s so surreal that, at this point in time in 2024, this video is almost at the halfway point between when this channel started and where it is now. I still have vivid memories watching that opening skit (being genuinely scared Mark would quit) and also feeling like i was going crazy watching Neil Breen for the first time
Dude my mom and I freakin LOVE your videos. She laughs so hard at your dry matter o fact way of speaking and reviewing movies. Good to see you back!!!
Welcome back! I missed your videos.
You should really check out Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky. It may qualify as one of those so bad it's good movies.
I want him to review it
Fantastic skit on the beginning! I do skits on my channel to but I never have anybody to do any acting with me lol I knew to your channel but I really enjoy it.
Yes you're back! And we've got Mat!
I love this show. please add Miami Connection to the excel sheet
It's on there for sure
IMO, The constant negativity actually is one of the funniest things about Mark's style of comedy. Inserting himself into scenes in the movies is a close second.
If I didn't know better, I'd assume Breen escaped from an isolated religious cult where he'd spent his entire life and immediately started making movies based on the way the world had been described to him in the cult.
I've been looking forward to a new FanboyFlicks review for so long. Dreams really do come true.
"The Being" is Eddie from Iron Maiden +
:-D :-D :-D
Man, I don't know how you don't have over a million subscribers. This content is amazing.
7:24 - They have to be naked Mark, so you can see his sack.
Everybody loves a Breenbag.
Neil's gotta brag-a-breens.
"Well that's just the worst thing I've ever seen in my life"
xD
What a subtle and nuanced wordsmith mr. Breen is. He's so lucky that he was blessed with not just the face of a murderous husband on 20/20 but also incredible talent as well.
10:14 Total Shakespeare alas poor Yorick moment! High art indeed! I knew him Horatio... ha! This is priceless man! Great stuff!
22:01 that's the same dude that goes "damn, twins."
Sir I am so glad you are back making videos again. My whole family of 12 missed you so much making this series. I know it may not seem much but keep at it. You are our favorite movie critic/commentator. We love you and find you funnier than anyone else. Thank you for all the hard work in making BAD MOVIES! Please make more
Finally!! Now I can stop re watching the older videos over and over again 😟 welcome back 😊
One of the best Reviews i've EVER seen, thx for this gem, man!!!
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