It is so easy to get the two confused, going to uni was a four year cycle of burnout and recovery that I thought was depression. I tried meds, they just made me feel flat and I hated it, since being diagnosed as autistic I understand what happened better.
I'm in uni rn and I 100% feel this. I despise everything about university: auditoriums, the crowds, the amount of people, just everything! I hate how disappointing and mediocre university has been for me so far. How much of a completely disorganised mess it is run by what I believe to be beyond incompetent people. It's just not an environment I can work in, lacking too much structure and "personal space", and I have no idea how I'm going to get through it jeez, it's all just way way way too overwhelming for me, especially when the mess they call a university gets me completely confused and overwhelmed which leads to me making dumb mistakes which are an absolute nightmare to fix in my uni. It's just too chaotic for me
For me, it’s the damn kids…. I have never wanted to yeet so many people off a bridge over the course of a day in my all life - and I worked in retail!! 🤦 I don’t know how they do it, I can just be in my own space at home, zoning out and intentionally not interacting with anyone and someone, somewhere will find some way to be offended. 🤷♂️ I’m not rude, or sad, I’m just burnt-out and I wish people would just understand without me having to explain myself every goddamn day.
Omg same here... I was so frustrated I was showing symptoms of "depression" in Kindergarten at age 3 and when I was 11 I was put in therapy (as punishment but thats a long story) and constantly treated for said depression. Since the age of 14 I was put on all kinds of antidepressants with horrible side effects and I was completely hopeless that I would ever feel better. Realizing Im burnt out and autistic is really helpful tho. Also Im on wellbutrin now cause I got diagnosed with depression again by someone who doesnt understand autism but I wanted to try it cause it boosts dopamine and we auADHD lack that in a major way. So far it hasnt done much but it also doesnt make me feel flat so Ill count that as a win
I relate to this so much. It feels really frustrating to feel like you can't do anything at all without getting burnt out, so I definitely feel that same feeling of "I don't know what to do about this." I think I had both depression and autistic burnout, because taking an antidepressant raised me up a little bit, so I wasn't totally in despair any more. Now I don't feel that depressed hopelessness so much, but I still go through cycles of feeling low and especially exhausted and fatigued and just everything feels hard. Even after graduating from college and having a lot fewer demands in my life, I still feel like I'm in a constant cycle of burnout. I hope that by gradually finding an environment and routine that works for me, I can smooth out that cycle a little more. Especially unmasking, because I think that's one of the main things that is so exhausting about being autistic and contributes a lot to burnout. But it's really hard to unmask, so that will take time. Also I think it's okay to accept that life will have cycles, kind of an undulation, and both the ups and the downs are okay. It helps me to remember that the low periods won't last, and I will enjoy things again - nothing is permanent.
I relate so hard, it's really annoying. I find the only way it doesn't happen is if I just stick to myself and isolate from people, but I don't want to do that forever either. And when I do that I get kind of manic because I haven't had to use up enough energy dealing with people. So it's impossible to manage basically
Oh my god, I'm not autistic but I have this exact problem as I am very highly sensitive. I'm searching for someone who has a similar experience because I feel lonely as fuck in the world with this. If you want to, I'd love if you reached out to me.
@MultiSuperPotato are you sure you're not autistic? We autists so often describe how we feel as "being alone in the world" or feeling like an alien. That sounds like what you are saying.
I had this exact conversation with my line manager yesterday. Since I found out about autism and being referred for a formal diagnosis I’ve realised I’m not that depressed. It’s generally just burnout
Yes and it gets worse with age. I used to think it was depression too and I was on tons of psych meds at one time but it didn’t help. It’s been impossible to have consistency in my life because of this problem. Forget stable job, and there’s an ever threat of homelessness because I can’t function like other people.
Same!! It’s rough. And I’m worried since I’m not social and I can’t be too alone when I’m struggling so much and other typicals seem so advanced in different communication styles, confidence, successful jobs, etc
Thank you so much for sharing, I had the same cycles, till about 38 them got a migraine that never went away, going for an autism screening at 46. I'm horrified at how uneducated the mental health world sadly is. Your awesome, keep sharing your experience.
All my life. And I never figured it out either unfortunately. Other than making peace with it, I have no idea how to never have those burnouts sometimes.
I relate to this. When I was "depressed " I wasn't really sad, I was just exhausted from being anxious and stressed and pretending all the time and then I just coudn't get out of bed and THAT made me sad. It used to be a cycle of - I would function kind of normal for 3 to 4 days and then I would collapse and just do the bare minimum, without washing any dhishes, missing classes etc for next 3 days and then it would start again. After getting diagnosis, therapy and SNRI i am better, I feel like the meds give me a bit more energy also I am better at managing my time. Now I try to organise my days in halves, so half of the day is doing something "productive" and other half is rest, for example, when I go to the lab where I intern i don't plan to do anything energy consuming for the rest of the day, except maybe cooking a meal, but I always try to cook more food, so it lasts me at least two days. It is frustrating that the things I have to do (uni and intern, so I can have a job and money in the future) take up so much of my time and energy, that I don't have a lot of that left for my passion projects and they progress very slowly :( but well, thats life.
Cyclical burnout is legit the story of my life.... Also starting in middle school. Diagnosed ADHD (still struggle with that) and misdiagnosed bipolar by some other condescending shrink. 13 yo me, refusing to take the meds and learning to distrust the system because I KNEW I was not bipolar. The system is just so broken and I think that facing that fact every single day ON TOP of regular daily life stress, no wonder so many are suffering. Love your videos. Thank you!!
It’s so unfair that we’re not able to trust the systems that are supposed to help us, but well done for advocating for yourself from such an early age! It’s definitely the extra stress ON TOP of things that gets me, I can really only deal with one pile of stress at a time and always seem to have at least three 😅 Thank you for commenting!
Thanks Dana! It is absolutely infuriating and unjust... I'm downright pissed off as I think many of us are and SUPER resonate with your frustration. And I applaud you for publicly speaking out as I appreciate how difficult creating and sharing content can be. Now trying to navigate the system as I watch my 13 yo daughter struggle with many of of the same issues... While meeting the exact same obstacles two decades later.... Is stressful but somewhat therapeutic, to be able to advocate for her like I wish my mother had been able to, AND teaching her how to advocate for herself! Using every roadblock as a teachable moment about where social change is desperately needed and how it might be achieved through a more humanistic lens. I believe with every fiber of my soul that change IS coming, and in the end folks like you, and me and our loved ones will be the catalyst. Take care, and keep up the good work Dana! ❤️
@@selfmadesarajadesame here to do you have fybromyalgia ume 43 àspergers heds add my son's 13 just diagnosed.my mum just list to severe ms àspergers heds to trying to find relief from pain is hard
@@Truerealism747 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after a car accident/whiplash at age 16. Then again at age 27 after a sudden onset that looked a lot more like MS or some kind of low grade epilepsy. I've self managed for many years but in January of 2023 had another acute very severe onset of neurological symptoms. Cut to 8 months later and I had to evaluate my house due to still unknown toxic exposure, presumably mold. I am still my own doctor and can't afford the testing of the house to pinpoint the cause, let alone alternative treatments. After loads of research I believe there may be some overlap with genetic predisposition to environmental toxin illness, chronic pain and fatigue syndromes, autoimmunity, and there's a clear and proven connection between ADHD, ASD and several physical conditions. As much as further research is needed, every we need are solutions and answers. Societally we can't expect people you term disabled to fully function in daily life AND be their own healthcare providers and advocates.
Having lived most of my adult life simply being treated for depression, I can definitely relate to this one. And, honestly, the fact that no-one considered that I might have had autism, or should consider being assessed for autism, really pisses me off. I've had more doctors, therapists, and therapy institutions than I can count on both hands. My first day on anti-depressants put me in hospital (even if, according to the triage nurse, "it's just a panic attack - you can go home"), and it took me months to begin to adjust to the really horrible side-effects (that no-one else really thought were that horrible). I was even prescribed some really addictive meds just to help me cope with said side-effects, and those came with their own really bad side-effects. I've also been in therapy for anxiety and PTSD, and all of those therapies seemed to be focused on "fixing what went wrong", rather than actually addressing the fact that I had been this way for as long as I could remember and that there is nothing to "fix". None of the therapies or explanations really seemed to fit, and that didn't seem to bother anyone I was relying on (and sometimes paying) for help. My mother even brought up the thought that I might have autism with my (now former) GP, and she just gaslit us both by saying "no, you're much too empathetic to have autism." It's only recently that I'd considered depression might be a side-effect of another condition rather than the diagnosis, and while I definitely was depressed, none of the options presented to me or considered for me were effective or even suitable.
"You have to much empathy to be autistic " infuriates me! I'm sorry for that dumb ass! Apparently, autism is hardly covered in med school which is the entire problem I swear! I was always told "you can't be autistic, you can speak/ make eye contact " or the most infuriating "you're a girl" I don't trust any medical professional from the gaslighted I've experienced.
You have laid out everything I have experienced or have thought about recently. I was actually thinking about my personality just a few days ago and I suddenly felt so hopeless and really down because I started to ponder the notion that even if I had my life just the way I wanted it I still don’t think I’d be happy. I think worry and stress would still be a part of my daily life because of how my brain is wired. I really don’t want to work any more. I’m so tired of having to engage with coworkers and their family members. It’s nothing personal toward them it’s just I find having to go outward so exhausting. I have become extremely introverted and prefer to spend most of my time alone because I just don’t have the energy to spare. I don’t have the drive that it takes to socialize or maintain friendships any more. I can understand what you’re saying perfectly. I’ll have a very full week and my performance will be very high and I will get so much done and then I crash and burn. I feel absolutely exhausted and depressed because I just don’t have the drive and the ability to maintain that focus every day so I can get things accomplished in my daily life. I know I have never have any manic episodes because it takes everything I have just to get up and function and fulfill daily obligations.
I relate to this so much. I feel quite embarrassed because whenever I’m around people I find it impossible to communicate so I’m just quiet most the time and I let any socializing skills atrophy. I also have different interests and even then my brain works differently. It’s quite a predicament on top of everything else
OOOOh! Absolutely agree! I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and take meds for quite a while (with my psychiatrist we tried different ones), but I still get these cycles. And it is not just mood swings, they really look more like periodic burnouts. I learned about autism in adults only two weeks a go, took many test (AQ, SQ, EQ, RAADS-R, TAS-20-R ,CAT-Q) and scored pretty high as a "highly functional/high masking autistic" person. The more I explore the topic, the more I'm getting sure I'm actually autistic, not bipolar. Thinking visiting my doctor and stop taking the meds. As for dealing with burnouts: first of all I try to accept myself as is, unconditionally. Then comfort myself, and take a rest, knowing that I will be productive when I restore. And learning about my triggers. Apparently, social interactions (even texting) take a lot of energy. And I believe that we, on the spectrum, are not broken, just different.
Yeah I have given my lifestyle an overhaul. Both in my habits and my outlook. It’s like because I know what’s happening I can actually surf the wave rather than not knowing what to do and being pulled under. I’m still very new to it, but I can say confidently that I have instituted helpful accommodations in my life.
I find that keeping focus as limited as possible helps a lot, though there's still all the things I "should" do that eats energy even just occupying space in my thoughts. It's easy to feel weak with that, but at the same time I can be completely calm in situations that are very stressful for others. So many things I don't really understand yet. Thank you for making videos.
In severe cases - when you start sleeping for 12-16 hours a day, taking citrulline malate can help - ADL are still hard, but it feels better as a whole. Felt the difference after one week. What cycle? Between crap and holy crap? ... have had for 2 years in a row and still going. It gets better with very small increments, or maybe I just got used to it. I don't know what else to advise in order to get out of burnout faster. But I noticed that it is very important to try to stop blaming yourself for such a condition as soon as possible - it only makes it worse, much worse.
Yes good advice and also exercising, especially yoga which will help calm the system and provide GABA directly which could be challenging bc it’s normally released through undesired substances, besides glutamine. But yoga has quite some superior benefits to other exercise that can’t be beat. But also adding in other types of exercise like cardio and weights is vital too
@@Truerealism747 No, magnesium is an element that's simply a formula of Mg2+ on the periodic table; citrulline malate has a complex formula: C10H19N3O8.
I have adhd (and maybe I'm autistic because I relate to this so much) and I definitely have cycles of burnout that I thought was depression. The only times I've ever been happy and have had a balance was in transition year of secondary school where we're not pressured to do academic stuff and instead encouraged to focus on our own interests and the other year was when I was repeating a year of college and had the time to just focus on my own passion projects guilt free. I definitely should start therapy to figure this out but I think at the end of the day, I'm not built to be capable of keeping up with neurotypical people. If I did have to do a 9 to 5 I would want to k*ll myself or at least that's what my inner monologue tells me. And at this stage I don't think it's an intrusive thought, I think it's genuinely my brain letting me know that this isn't sustainable and I need to change something or else I'm destined for burnout. But yeah, a big focus for me right now is just trying to make my life easier for myself rather then worrying about adult responsibilities. If I just focused on getting through college and stuff, I would be building a house of cards that's destined to topple. I need a good foundation and that means figuring out how to make showering, skincare, exercising and feeding myself as easy as possible. For example before, I never actually properly learned how to shave so I would just let my beard grow but then when I did shave, I would do it poorly and it would cause razor burn. So now I'm taking the time to figure out how to use the right tools and exfoliate properly to prevent causing damage to my skin. I feel like if this was something I put off until I finished college then I would just be making my life miserable for the next few years when it's something that could easily be fixed if I just took the time to address it now but if I do take that time then I won't have to to focus on college but neurotypical people can somehow do both and I just can't and it's frustrating that they can't understand that.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been misdiagnosed since age 14, I’m now 30. And I’ve just excepted the fact that I’ll always have depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder and the meds just won’t work. Seeing this makes me think because it’s literally my life cycle. And I’ve been told the depression meds make my anxiety worse because of the bipolar, so it’s not easy finding something. I’ve been on bipolar meds since 14 which do help “some” but I still feel like crap and tired and all that you said every few months, thats simplifying it tremendously, basically there’s no point to life and just why. Then there’s time when I am okay sticking to my schedule, but I’m also a stressful person all the time. I don’t make it a nicer life I just deal I guess. Oh and most recently, well a few years ago I got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, which I’ve had since I was in elementary school but went undiagnosed because I wasn’t hyper. So I’m just wondering now is it all true or a misdiagnosis in general.
It’s super tricky, I’d like to think we can trust medical professionals enough that you have the correct diagnosis, but there’s also a lot of ways and reasons for people to be misdiagnosed. I always think we know ourselves better than others can, especially people that only see us for appointments, so if it’s something you’re questioning, it’s probably worth talking to someone about! Whatever happens and whatever diagnosis fits you, I hope you’re able to find whatever you need to make life a bit easier 💕
@@DanaAndersen thank you for the kind words! I appreciate that a lot. I hope things are going well for you! I know how tough things can get, but whatever happens there will be good days, as hard as that may be to look forward to at times.
You were probably misdiagnosed. There are lots of tests you can take online that basically test for autism and if you score high on them and have any sensory defensiveness issues, it's probably almost certain that you have autism. I really don't get human's obsession with and trust in therapists.. how could a stranger know us better than we know ourselves? Being misdiagnosed happens so much, there's absolutely no reason why we should have any trust in them. Their schooling simply doesn't teach them anything about autistic people.
This sounds what I've been going through. When I get home from school, I just wanna sleep. Sometimes I can't even finish my dinner, i just fall asleep on the couch. Along with the autism, I think I do actually have depression tho. Never been on any meds or anything like that, but some days it's just hard to find a reason to keep living. Hope this didn't bum u out too much :P
Hi Dama. Thanks for this. My whole life has changed direction several times because of burnouts. I have no solution, except transcendental meditation, medication for my epilepsy, and imposing lots of controls on my daily existence, to avoid stress. By the way, I have never been depressed. No cycles.
I’ve had similar experiences!! I’ve been professionally diagnosed with ADHD at 37 and self diagnosed / free assessments at 38. I’ve been diagnosed with recurring depression starting at 16, and have tried just about every antidepressant. I’m just now on this path of realizing I have likely been going through cycles of burnout (sometimes it does turn into deep clinical depression). I’d also like to find a way to have balance in my life. I’m considering successful in the traditional sense… but as I age and my hormones change, symptoms seem to be getting worse and the burnout cycles lasting longer 😢.
I hear you on how debilitating these things are, I deal with similar things and currently it’s been an intense down cycle. I was going to suggest, if you’re interested, nettle root extract from Hyperionherbs which is a good source. I don’t take it right now but it’s supposed to balance hormones and provide energy. I take other supplements and it’s hard to not rely on them when I feel so burdened by default
This would really explain my experience with high school and (especially) college. I was never put on meds or anything, but I was always able to tell that it wasn't depression. I heard of depression as being stuck in "sad" emotionally, but I always just felt tired to the extent of feeling dead inside. It was like my entire existence was waking up, going through all the motions of sustaining my own life (eat, drink, etc.), working/attending school, then going to sleep to do it all again the next day. I've started to fall back into it in the last few months since I started the process of getting back into a university program, and I'm still looking for a way to make it more manageable if anyone has any suggestions
For me, pushing through burnout triggers depression, so both can be experienced at the same time (which made it that much harder to get an ASD diagnosis.)
For my entire adult life ive tried to explain that IM NOT DEPRESSED. Ive always had social anxiety and difficulty making friends (due to not being able to approach people and difficulty having conversations with people) and because of this and also low stress tolerance, difficulty working and keeping a job i experienced frequent meltdowns which leads to burnout. But ive always insisted i wasnt depressed yet no one ever listened to me. I was also misdiagnosed as bipolar but like you never had episodes of mania. I was put on like 3 different bipolar meds (one of which nearly literally killed me) and of course being put on lile 20 different depression medications which dont even work for me because 1) gene drug interactions...im genetically incompatible witn most SSRIs and 2) im autistic and i dont have depression but my autism problems create stress for which can make it seem like im depressed because i often feel hopeless due to no one understanding my problems and having basically no support and resources for autistic adults ...i was finally diagnosed autistic at age 35
Yes I seem to manage to mask and do many groups etc from May until around August when the weather changes. My mood plummets every autumn and I was given the Bipolar diagnosis for years prior to my ASD and ADHD diagnosis which ruled it out! I have no idea how to deal with it currently as its been very hard to even get out of bed. I made an appointment to discuss changing my citalopram to escitalopram but the earliest phone call is in April. Feeling fed up as in May I have to start reducing buprenorphine which effects my mood badly. I was hoping to be settled on the new med before having to deal with opiate withdrawal! The Joy's of life! X
Bipolar disorder and ADHD have overlap. It's important to get the diagnosis right as ADHD meds can make things worse if it's actually bipolar disorder.
I was on the same SSRI for ‘Depression’ when I was 16 and was on it for 6 years. I think it really messed with my brain chemistry and I still can’t tell what ‘normal’ feels like for me and I’ve been off it for a year now.
Have been on the precipice of letting all my debts default, slowly have been unable to work as hard (Landscaping, small business) and struggle to focus on things- BUT otherwise am in great moods and spirits, just drained with certain things. I think it is this.
Hi there thank you so much for recording this video. My 10 year old son seems to be experiencing this and he doesn’t have the language to explain how he’s feeling, so it’s been really valuable for me to watch you talking about this and get an insight into how he must be feeling. Please keep posting up with your journey - as a mum I want to support him in the best way I can, and any information around autistic burnout from people who are actually living with it is really important. Thank you ❤ Edit: please excuse my name “Adventures of the fluffy sidekick” my son isn’t allowed to have his own UA-cam channel yet so he uses mine to post up shorts about our puppy lol!
I’ve never thought about cyclecle burnout, but it sounds familiar! I’ve been there. Sounds like you need to maintain a consistent low level of productivity to avoid burnout. I’m in a burnout currently that has knocked me out…but it’s healing. And I love so much about AuDHD!
I understand the cycles. I was diagnosed with double depression. Dysthymia with periodic periods of major depression. I’ve been dealing with this for 4 decades now. I’m just learning that I may be neurodivergent and suffering bouts of burnout. Trying to sort it out without diagnoses for autism and ADHD.
I have had burn out lot as a kid and again why living in Ohio due to family fighting, I did not know growing up but now relies my family most of them have mental problems My cousin brought me back home to get away from them. I never get depressed but had many burnouts due to all that drama they cause and seem to love.
How did you find an autistic therapist? I really want an autistic therapist, but I have no idea how to start looking since most don’t disclose to their employer/clients
Yiu can be bipolar without being full manic. You can have Hypomania, or even more mild than hypomsnia. Despite what the dsm says, bipolar is a spectrum disorder.
If unsure, seek another clinical opinion. I have a complex picture with more than one diagnosis. I see burnout as having some features of depression, mainly the fatigue yet not necessarily meeting the clinical criteria for a depressive episode. Depressed moods can vary in severity. So can elevated moods. A lot of neurodiversity advocates are going with "autistic burnout" because they are going with "bipolar is a misdiagnosis". I got told by multiple strangers online that I am autistic & misdiagnosed with bipolar. Do I trust strangers online or do I trust the clinicans with over 7 years of training & mainly more years of experience? A psychologist said I am on the autism spectrum yet thinks below threshold overall for autism spectrum disorder, ASD. Regardless, bipolar disorder is still a priority for me as it results in significant disability for me and I can become severely unwell at times. There are different subtypes of bipolar. I've had severely elevated mood (mania) but it's very common to have moderately elevated mood (hypomania) which seems like very productive etc. Then a period of low mood can follow. There is also cyclothymia which is subclinical to bipolar disorder but can develop into bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is like massive energy fluctations, which are disruptive to one's everyday life.
As always, entirely relate! I feel pretty doomed to just be a limited person forever now tbh 🥲 Yes, cyclical is a word and yes that's exactly what I experience too! And yes it CAN look like depression but as always, I'm just overdoing it 😅 By simply being alive with my, what I call "stress disorder", I'm somehow constantly overdoing it. Even when the calendar is blank 90% of my week I still somehow feel like that weekly 10% ...is overdoing it. I haven't been the same person since my "Great burnout of 2020". Think of it like a ball! You bounce a ball off the ground just once, it bounces and bounces until it just rolls, but naturally the bounce back gets smaller and smaller until gravity has it just rollin' lol. That's a great way to describe (a lot of) autistic people's experiences with autistic burnout. You bounce back less each time and that's okay. I mean, it sucks for us but I just mean it's a valid experience. Even though I do the bare minimum most days (4 days a week), even my basic self care feels like a LOT of spoons. It's a lot. You're valid, we're valid 🙃
Exactly. Perfect with the ball metaphor. I had a huge burnout/mental breakdown in 2020 too. The covid stuff along with all the human drama and isolation was just too much.
Can relate. I loved 2020 bc I am in solitude anyway and there was less commotion outside and I found it easier to leave the house. But I was hoping we become more resilient, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But I definitely relate!
I HIGHLY recommend this vid from Autism Crysalis for breaking the cycles if burnout! I would call these resources: Life Skills for Living with Autism ua-cam.com/video/CVtSEoof4no/v-deo.htmlsi=ApneWNjJpNb3qKys Diagnoses can be messy!! And it is SO difficult to sort it out and find a professional who actually takes the time to figure it out. I've found its more important to me to develop skills for taking care of myself regardless of diagnosis.
6:03 - "... during the periods when I'm getting shit done, it's not like, 'I'm fucking 'Thriving', ya know? ..."
RIGHT!!
It is so easy to get the two confused, going to uni was a four year cycle of burnout and recovery that I thought was depression. I tried meds, they just made me feel flat and I hated it, since being diagnosed as autistic I understand what happened better.
I'm in uni rn and I 100% feel this. I despise everything about university: auditoriums, the crowds, the amount of people, just everything! I hate how disappointing and mediocre university has been for me so far. How much of a completely disorganised mess it is run by what I believe to be beyond incompetent people. It's just not an environment I can work in, lacking too much structure and "personal space", and I have no idea how I'm going to get through it jeez, it's all just way way way too overwhelming for me, especially when the mess they call a university gets me completely confused and overwhelmed which leads to me making dumb mistakes which are an absolute nightmare to fix in my uni. It's just too chaotic for me
For me, it’s the damn kids…. I have never wanted to yeet so many people off a bridge over the course of a day in my all life - and I worked in retail!! 🤦 I don’t know how they do it, I can just be in my own space at home, zoning out and intentionally not interacting with anyone and someone, somewhere will find some way to be offended. 🤷♂️ I’m not rude, or sad, I’m just burnt-out and I wish people would just understand without me having to explain myself every goddamn day.
Omg same here... I was so frustrated I was showing symptoms of "depression" in Kindergarten at age 3 and when I was 11 I was put in therapy (as punishment but thats a long story) and constantly treated for said depression. Since the age of 14 I was put on all kinds of antidepressants with horrible side effects and I was completely hopeless that I would ever feel better. Realizing Im burnt out and autistic is really helpful tho. Also Im on wellbutrin now cause I got diagnosed with depression again by someone who doesnt understand autism but I wanted to try it cause it boosts dopamine and we auADHD lack that in a major way. So far it hasnt done much but it also doesnt make me feel flat so Ill count that as a win
I relate to this so much. It feels really frustrating to feel like you can't do anything at all without getting burnt out, so I definitely feel that same feeling of "I don't know what to do about this." I think I had both depression and autistic burnout, because taking an antidepressant raised me up a little bit, so I wasn't totally in despair any more. Now I don't feel that depressed hopelessness so much, but I still go through cycles of feeling low and especially exhausted and fatigued and just everything feels hard. Even after graduating from college and having a lot fewer demands in my life, I still feel like I'm in a constant cycle of burnout.
I hope that by gradually finding an environment and routine that works for me, I can smooth out that cycle a little more. Especially unmasking, because I think that's one of the main things that is so exhausting about being autistic and contributes a lot to burnout. But it's really hard to unmask, so that will take time. Also I think it's okay to accept that life will have cycles, kind of an undulation, and both the ups and the downs are okay. It helps me to remember that the low periods won't last, and I will enjoy things again - nothing is permanent.
I relate so hard, it's really annoying. I find the only way it doesn't happen is if I just stick to myself and isolate from people, but I don't want to do that forever either. And when I do that I get kind of manic because I haven't had to use up enough energy dealing with people. So it's impossible to manage basically
Oh my god, I'm not autistic but I have this exact problem as I am very highly sensitive. I'm searching for someone who has a similar experience because I feel lonely as fuck in the world with this. If you want to, I'd love if you reached out to me.
@MultiSuperPotato are you sure you're not autistic? We autists so often describe how we feel as "being alone in the world" or feeling like an alien. That sounds like what you are saying.
I had this exact conversation with my line manager yesterday.
Since I found out about autism and being referred for a formal diagnosis I’ve realised I’m not that depressed. It’s generally just burnout
Yes and it gets worse with age. I used to think it was depression too and I was on tons of psych meds at one time but it didn’t help. It’s been impossible to have consistency in my life because of this problem. Forget stable job, and there’s an ever threat of homelessness because I can’t function like other people.
Same!! It’s rough. And I’m worried since I’m not social and I can’t be too alone when I’m struggling so much and other typicals seem so advanced in different communication styles, confidence, successful jobs, etc
What are your symptoms
Thank you so much for sharing, I had the same cycles, till about 38 them got a migraine that never went away, going for an autism screening at 46. I'm horrified at how uneducated the mental health world sadly is. Your awesome, keep sharing your experience.
I've got migraine upper body no headpain 24/7 but I have heds to do you and is it all autism burnout
All my life. And I never figured it out either unfortunately. Other than making peace with it, I have no idea how to never have those burnouts sometimes.
I relate to this. When I was "depressed " I wasn't really sad, I was just exhausted from being anxious and stressed and pretending all the time and then I just coudn't get out of bed and THAT made me sad. It used to be a cycle of - I would function kind of normal for 3 to 4 days and then I would collapse and just do the bare minimum, without washing any dhishes, missing classes etc for next 3 days and then it would start again. After getting diagnosis, therapy and SNRI i am better, I feel like the meds give me a bit more energy also I am better at managing my time. Now I try to organise my days in halves, so half of the day is doing something "productive" and other half is rest, for example, when I go to the lab where I intern i don't plan to do anything energy consuming for the rest of the day, except maybe cooking a meal, but I always try to cook more food, so it lasts me at least two days. It is frustrating that the things I have to do (uni and intern, so I can have a job and money in the future) take up so much of my time and energy, that I don't have a lot of that left for my passion projects and they progress very slowly :( but well, thats life.
What is SNRI?
Cyclical burnout is legit the story of my life.... Also starting in middle school. Diagnosed ADHD (still struggle with that) and misdiagnosed bipolar by some other condescending shrink. 13 yo me, refusing to take the meds and learning to distrust the system because I KNEW I was not bipolar.
The system is just so broken and I think that facing that fact every single day ON TOP of regular daily life stress, no wonder so many are suffering. Love your videos. Thank you!!
It’s so unfair that we’re not able to trust the systems that are supposed to help us, but well done for advocating for yourself from such an early age!
It’s definitely the extra stress ON TOP of things that gets me, I can really only deal with one pile of stress at a time and always seem to have at least three 😅 Thank you for commenting!
Thanks Dana! It is absolutely infuriating and unjust... I'm downright pissed off as I think many of us are and SUPER resonate with your frustration. And I applaud you for publicly speaking out as I appreciate how difficult creating and sharing content can be.
Now trying to navigate the system as I watch my 13 yo daughter struggle with many of of the same issues... While meeting the exact same obstacles two decades later.... Is stressful but somewhat therapeutic, to be able to advocate for her like I wish my mother had been able to, AND teaching her how to advocate for herself! Using every roadblock as a teachable moment about where social change is desperately needed and how it might be achieved through a more humanistic lens.
I believe with every fiber of my soul that change IS coming, and in the end folks like you, and me and our loved ones will be the catalyst. Take care, and keep up the good work Dana! ❤️
I relate to you both so much.. I hate the system that makes it feel like a pain just to exist, nothing is fun and it’s all sophisticated slavery
@@selfmadesarajadesame here to do you have fybromyalgia ume 43 àspergers heds add my son's 13 just diagnosed.my mum just list to severe ms àspergers heds to trying to find relief from pain is hard
@@Truerealism747 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after a car accident/whiplash at age 16. Then again at age 27 after a sudden onset that looked a lot more like MS or some kind of low grade epilepsy. I've self managed for many years but in January of 2023 had another acute very severe onset of neurological symptoms. Cut to 8 months later and I had to evaluate my house due to still unknown toxic exposure, presumably mold. I am still my own doctor and can't afford the testing of the house to pinpoint the cause, let alone alternative treatments.
After loads of research I believe there may be some overlap with genetic predisposition to environmental toxin illness, chronic pain and fatigue syndromes, autoimmunity, and there's a clear and proven connection between ADHD, ASD and several physical conditions. As much as further research is needed, every we need are solutions and answers.
Societally we can't expect people you term disabled to fully function in daily life AND be their own healthcare providers and advocates.
Having lived most of my adult life simply being treated for depression, I can definitely relate to this one. And, honestly, the fact that no-one considered that I might have had autism, or should consider being assessed for autism, really pisses me off. I've had more doctors, therapists, and therapy institutions than I can count on both hands. My first day on anti-depressants put me in hospital (even if, according to the triage nurse, "it's just a panic attack - you can go home"), and it took me months to begin to adjust to the really horrible side-effects (that no-one else really thought were that horrible). I was even prescribed some really addictive meds just to help me cope with said side-effects, and those came with their own really bad side-effects. I've also been in therapy for anxiety and PTSD, and all of those therapies seemed to be focused on "fixing what went wrong", rather than actually addressing the fact that I had been this way for as long as I could remember and that there is nothing to "fix". None of the therapies or explanations really seemed to fit, and that didn't seem to bother anyone I was relying on (and sometimes paying) for help.
My mother even brought up the thought that I might have autism with my (now former) GP, and she just gaslit us both by saying "no, you're much too empathetic to have autism."
It's only recently that I'd considered depression might be a side-effect of another condition rather than the diagnosis, and while I definitely was depressed, none of the options presented to me or considered for me were effective or even suitable.
"You have to much empathy to be autistic " infuriates me! I'm sorry for that dumb ass! Apparently, autism is hardly covered in med school which is the entire problem I swear!
I was always told "you can't be autistic, you can speak/ make eye contact " or the most infuriating "you're a girl" I don't trust any medical professional from the gaslighted I've experienced.
You have laid out everything I have experienced or have thought about recently. I was actually thinking about my personality just a few days ago and I suddenly felt so hopeless and really down because I started to ponder the notion that even if I had my life just the way I wanted it I still don’t think I’d be happy. I think worry and stress would still be a part of my daily life because of how my brain is wired. I really don’t want to work any more. I’m so tired of having to engage with coworkers and their family members. It’s nothing personal toward them it’s just I find having to go outward so exhausting. I have become extremely introverted and prefer to spend most of my time alone because I just don’t have the energy to spare. I don’t have the drive that it takes to socialize or maintain friendships any more. I can understand what you’re saying perfectly. I’ll have a very full week and my performance will be very high and I will get so much done and then I crash and burn. I feel absolutely exhausted and depressed because I just don’t have the drive and the ability to maintain that focus every day so I can get things accomplished in my daily life. I know I have never have any manic episodes because it takes everything I have just to get up and function and fulfill daily obligations.
I don't have the energy to deal with most people either. Most humans are exhausting.
(The more easy going ones are the only ones who usually aren't.)
I relate to this so much. I feel quite embarrassed because whenever I’m around people I find it impossible to communicate so I’m just quiet most the time and I let any socializing skills atrophy. I also have different interests and even then my brain works differently. It’s quite a predicament on top of everything else
OOOOh! Absolutely agree! I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and take meds for quite a while (with my psychiatrist we tried different ones), but I still get these cycles. And it is not just mood swings, they really look more like periodic burnouts. I learned about autism in adults only two weeks a go, took many test (AQ, SQ, EQ, RAADS-R, TAS-20-R ,CAT-Q) and scored pretty high as a "highly functional/high masking autistic" person. The more I explore the topic, the more I'm getting sure I'm actually autistic, not bipolar.
Thinking visiting my doctor and stop taking the meds.
As for dealing with burnouts: first of all I try to accept myself as is, unconditionally. Then comfort myself, and take a rest, knowing that I will be productive when I restore. And learning about my triggers. Apparently, social interactions (even texting) take a lot of energy.
And I believe that we, on the spectrum, are not broken, just different.
Yeah I have given my lifestyle an overhaul. Both in my habits and my outlook. It’s like because I know what’s happening I can actually surf the wave rather than not knowing what to do and being pulled under. I’m still very new to it, but I can say confidently that I have instituted helpful accommodations in my life.
I find that keeping focus as limited as possible helps a lot, though there's still all the things I "should" do that eats energy even just occupying space in my thoughts. It's easy to feel weak with that, but at the same time I can be completely calm in situations that are very stressful for others. So many things I don't really understand yet. Thank you for making videos.
You speak so much sense. I’ve spent years trying to figure out why I could also be like this.
In severe cases - when you start sleeping for 12-16 hours a day, taking citrulline malate can help - ADL are still hard, but it feels better as a whole. Felt the difference after one week. What cycle? Between crap and holy crap? ... have had for 2 years in a row and still going. It gets better with very small increments, or maybe I just got used to it.
I don't know what else to advise in order to get out of burnout faster. But I noticed that it is very important to try to stop blaming yourself for such a condition as soon as possible - it only makes it worse, much worse.
Is citrulline malate magnesium
Yes good advice and also exercising, especially yoga which will help calm the system and provide GABA directly which could be challenging bc it’s normally released through undesired substances, besides glutamine. But yoga has quite some superior benefits to other exercise that can’t be beat. But also adding in other types of exercise like cardio and weights is vital too
@@Truerealism747 No, magnesium is an element that's simply a formula of Mg2+ on the periodic table; citrulline malate has a complex formula: C10H19N3O8.
I have adhd (and maybe I'm autistic because I relate to this so much) and I definitely have cycles of burnout that I thought was depression. The only times I've ever been happy and have had a balance was in transition year of secondary school where we're not pressured to do academic stuff and instead encouraged to focus on our own interests and the other year was when I was repeating a year of college and had the time to just focus on my own passion projects guilt free.
I definitely should start therapy to figure this out but I think at the end of the day, I'm not built to be capable of keeping up with neurotypical people. If I did have to do a 9 to 5 I would want to k*ll myself or at least that's what my inner monologue tells me. And at this stage I don't think it's an intrusive thought, I think it's genuinely my brain letting me know that this isn't sustainable and I need to change something or else I'm destined for burnout.
But yeah, a big focus for me right now is just trying to make my life easier for myself rather then worrying about adult responsibilities. If I just focused on getting through college and stuff, I would be building a house of cards that's destined to topple. I need a good foundation and that means figuring out how to make showering, skincare, exercising and feeding myself as easy as possible. For example before, I never actually properly learned how to shave so I would just let my beard grow but then when I did shave, I would do it poorly and it would cause razor burn. So now I'm taking the time to figure out how to use the right tools and exfoliate properly to prevent causing damage to my skin. I feel like if this was something I put off until I finished college then I would just be making my life miserable for the next few years when it's something that could easily be fixed if I just took the time to address it now but if I do take that time then I won't have to to focus on college but neurotypical people can somehow do both and I just can't and it's frustrating that they can't understand that.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been misdiagnosed since age 14, I’m now 30. And I’ve just excepted the fact that I’ll always have depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder and the meds just won’t work.
Seeing this makes me think because it’s literally my life cycle.
And I’ve been told the depression meds make my anxiety worse because of the bipolar, so it’s not easy finding something. I’ve been on bipolar meds since 14 which do help “some” but I still feel like crap and tired and all that you said every few months, thats simplifying it tremendously, basically there’s no point to life and just why.
Then there’s time when I am okay sticking to my schedule, but I’m also a stressful person all the time.
I don’t make it a nicer life I just deal I guess.
Oh and most recently, well a few years ago I got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, which I’ve had since I was in elementary school but went undiagnosed because I wasn’t hyper.
So I’m just wondering now is it all true or a misdiagnosis in general.
It’s super tricky, I’d like to think we can trust medical professionals enough that you have the correct diagnosis, but there’s also a lot of ways and reasons for people to be misdiagnosed.
I always think we know ourselves better than others can, especially people that only see us for appointments, so if it’s something you’re questioning, it’s probably worth talking to someone about!
Whatever happens and whatever diagnosis fits you, I hope you’re able to find whatever you need to make life a bit easier 💕
@@DanaAndersen thank you for the kind words! I appreciate that a lot.
I hope things are going well for you!
I know how tough things can get, but whatever happens there will be good days, as hard as that may be to look forward to at times.
They don't like diagnosis.of autism as they can't medicate
You were probably misdiagnosed. There are lots of tests you can take online that basically test for autism and if you score high on them and have any sensory defensiveness issues, it's probably almost certain that you have autism. I really don't get human's obsession with and trust in therapists.. how could a stranger know us better than we know ourselves? Being misdiagnosed happens so much, there's absolutely no reason why we should have any trust in them. Their schooling simply doesn't teach them anything about autistic people.
This sounds what I've been going through. When I get home from school, I just wanna sleep. Sometimes I can't even finish my dinner, i just fall asleep on the couch.
Along with the autism, I think I do actually have depression tho. Never been on any meds or anything like that, but some days it's just hard to find a reason to keep living. Hope this didn't bum u out too much :P
Hi Dama. Thanks for this. My whole life has changed direction several times because of burnouts. I have no solution, except transcendental meditation, medication for my epilepsy, and imposing lots of controls on my daily existence, to avoid stress. By the way, I have never been depressed. No cycles.
depression doesn't necessarily 'cycle'. Some anticonvulsants are used as mood stabilisers. I take one for bipolar disorder.
I’ve had similar experiences!! I’ve been professionally diagnosed with ADHD at 37 and self diagnosed / free assessments at 38. I’ve been diagnosed with recurring depression starting at 16, and have tried just about every antidepressant. I’m just now on this path of realizing I have likely been going through cycles of burnout (sometimes it does turn into deep clinical depression). I’d also like to find a way to have balance in my life. I’m considering successful in the traditional sense… but as I age and my hormones change, symptoms seem to be getting worse and the burnout cycles lasting longer 😢.
I hear you on how debilitating these things are, I deal with similar things and currently it’s been an intense down cycle. I was going to suggest, if you’re interested, nettle root extract from Hyperionherbs which is a good source. I don’t take it right now but it’s supposed to balance hormones and provide energy. I take other supplements and it’s hard to not rely on them when I feel so burdened by default
thank you so much for this!!!!it makes so much sense for my child and this is so incredibly helpful
It doesn't get easier, you just get better at it
This would really explain my experience with high school and (especially) college. I was never put on meds or anything, but I was always able to tell that it wasn't depression. I heard of depression as being stuck in "sad" emotionally, but I always just felt tired to the extent of feeling dead inside.
It was like my entire existence was waking up, going through all the motions of sustaining my own life (eat, drink, etc.), working/attending school, then going to sleep to do it all again the next day. I've started to fall back into it in the last few months since I started the process of getting back into a university program, and I'm still looking for a way to make it more manageable if anyone has any suggestions
Moderate depression can be exactly as you describe. Depression isn't the emotion of feeling sad. Can feel numb.
^^ agreed. it's possible to have anxiety or depression during big life transiting.
I highly recommend yoga with kassandra and just hatha or yin or regular yoga
For me, pushing through burnout triggers depression, so both can be experienced at the same time (which made it that much harder to get an ASD diagnosis.)
Same thing I experienced for the last few years
I was written off by a therapist as "non-compliant."
For my entire adult life ive tried to explain that IM NOT DEPRESSED. Ive always had social anxiety and difficulty making friends (due to not being able to approach people and difficulty having conversations with people) and because of this and also low stress tolerance, difficulty working and keeping a job i experienced frequent meltdowns which leads to burnout. But ive always insisted i wasnt depressed yet no one ever listened to me. I was also misdiagnosed as bipolar but like you never had episodes of mania. I was put on like 3 different bipolar meds (one of which nearly literally killed me) and of course being put on lile 20 different depression medications which dont even work for me because 1) gene drug interactions...im genetically incompatible witn most SSRIs and 2) im autistic and i dont have depression but my autism problems create stress for which can make it seem like im depressed because i often feel hopeless due to no one understanding my problems and having basically no support and resources for autistic adults ...i was finally diagnosed autistic at age 35
Yes I seem to manage to mask and do many groups etc from May until around August when the weather changes. My mood plummets every autumn and I was given the Bipolar diagnosis for years prior to my ASD and ADHD diagnosis which ruled it out! I have no idea how to deal with it currently as its been very hard to even get out of bed. I made an appointment to discuss changing my citalopram to escitalopram but the earliest phone call is in April. Feeling fed up as in May I have to start reducing buprenorphine which effects my mood badly. I was hoping to be settled on the new med before having to deal with opiate withdrawal! The Joy's of life! X
Bipolar disorder and ADHD have overlap. It's important to get the diagnosis right as ADHD meds can make things worse if it's actually bipolar disorder.
A high quality black seed oil soothes opiate withdrawals
Thanks for identifying what this is for me.
I was on the same SSRI for ‘Depression’ when I was 16 and was on it for 6 years. I think it really messed with my brain chemistry and I still can’t tell what ‘normal’ feels like for me and I’ve been off it for a year now.
Have been on the precipice of letting all my debts default, slowly have been unable to work as hard (Landscaping, small business) and struggle to focus on things- BUT otherwise am in great moods and spirits, just drained with certain things. I think it is this.
Hi there thank you so much for recording this video. My 10 year old son seems to be experiencing this and he doesn’t have the language to explain how he’s feeling, so it’s been really valuable for me to watch you talking about this and get an insight into how he must be feeling. Please keep posting up with your journey - as a mum I want to support him in the best way I can, and any information around autistic burnout from people who are actually living with it is really important. Thank you ❤
Edit: please excuse my name “Adventures of the fluffy sidekick” my son isn’t allowed to have his own UA-cam channel yet so he uses mine to post up shorts about our puppy lol!
Same. I don't see a point in just getting through the week. This is not living.
I’ve never thought about cyclecle burnout, but it sounds familiar! I’ve been there. Sounds like you need to maintain a consistent low level of productivity to avoid burnout. I’m in a burnout currently that has knocked me out…but it’s healing. And I love so much about AuDHD!
I understand the cycles. I was diagnosed with double depression. Dysthymia with periodic periods of major depression. I’ve been dealing with this for 4 decades now. I’m just learning that I may be neurodivergent and suffering bouts of burnout. Trying to sort it out without diagnoses for autism and ADHD.
Thank you for this video.
I have had burn out lot as a kid and again why living in Ohio due to family fighting, I did not know growing up but now relies my family most of them have mental problems My cousin brought me back home to get away from them. I never get depressed but had many burnouts due to all that drama they cause and seem to love.
I go through autistic burnout a lot these days, the cycles feel more like mood swings in BPD instead of bipolar. They both can overlap
How did you find an autistic therapist? I really want an autistic therapist, but I have no idea how to start looking since most don’t disclose to their employer/clients
I think I have both
I relate to what you are saying. Im pretty feel the same way.
Yiu can be bipolar without being full manic. You can have Hypomania, or even more mild than hypomsnia. Despite what the dsm says, bipolar is a spectrum disorder.
They are different but burnout can definitely cause depression.
Anti depressants are crap. The side effects are just horrendous
OMG Big hearts
If unsure, seek another clinical opinion. I have a complex picture with more than one diagnosis.
I see burnout as having some features of depression, mainly the fatigue yet not necessarily meeting the clinical criteria for a depressive episode.
Depressed moods can vary in severity. So can elevated moods.
A lot of neurodiversity advocates are going with "autistic burnout" because they are going with "bipolar is a misdiagnosis".
I got told by multiple strangers online that I am autistic & misdiagnosed with bipolar. Do I trust strangers online or do I trust the clinicans with over 7 years of training & mainly more years of experience? A psychologist said I am on the autism spectrum yet thinks below threshold overall for autism spectrum disorder, ASD. Regardless, bipolar disorder is still a priority for me as it results in significant disability for me and I can become severely unwell at times.
There are different subtypes of bipolar. I've had severely elevated mood (mania) but it's very common to have moderately elevated mood (hypomania) which seems like very productive etc. Then a period of low mood can follow. There is also cyclothymia which is subclinical to bipolar disorder but can develop into bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder is like massive energy fluctations, which are disruptive to one's everyday life.
As always, entirely relate! I feel pretty doomed to just be a limited person forever now tbh 🥲
Yes, cyclical is a word and yes that's exactly what I experience too! And yes it CAN look like depression but as always, I'm just overdoing it 😅
By simply being alive with my, what I call "stress disorder", I'm somehow constantly overdoing it. Even when the calendar is blank 90% of my week I still somehow feel like that weekly 10% ...is overdoing it.
I haven't been the same person since my "Great burnout of 2020". Think of it like a ball! You bounce a ball off the ground just once, it bounces and bounces until it just rolls, but naturally the bounce back gets smaller and smaller until gravity has it just rollin' lol. That's a great way to describe (a lot of) autistic people's experiences with autistic burnout. You bounce back less each time and that's okay. I mean, it sucks for us but I just mean it's a valid experience.
Even though I do the bare minimum most days (4 days a week), even my basic self care feels like a LOT of spoons. It's a lot. You're valid, we're valid 🙃
Exactly. Perfect with the ball metaphor. I had a huge burnout/mental breakdown in 2020 too. The covid stuff along with all the human drama and isolation was just too much.
Can relate. I loved 2020 bc I am in solitude anyway and there was less commotion outside and I found it easier to leave the house. But I was hoping we become more resilient, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But I definitely relate!
I HIGHLY recommend this vid from Autism Crysalis for breaking the cycles if burnout! I would call these resources: Life Skills for Living with Autism
ua-cam.com/video/CVtSEoof4no/v-deo.htmlsi=ApneWNjJpNb3qKys
Diagnoses can be messy!! And it is SO difficult to sort it out and find a professional who actually takes the time to figure it out. I've found its more important to me to develop skills for taking care of myself regardless of diagnosis.