Mental Health & Autism: My Experience with Depression

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  • Опубліковано 26 сер 2024
  • Today's video is serious, heavy, and emotional. If that's not your cup of tea, save yourself 30 minutes.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 83

  • @karaschmidl2713
    @karaschmidl2713 5 років тому +35

    Oh girl!!! You have NO idea how much this meant to me. I've been dealing with the same things recently. While it sucks you're dealing with this, it's amazing to have 'my' words coming out of your mouth. I never thought I could describe it. It has filled me with hope knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you for doing this. You have an amazing ministry!

    • @StephanieBethany
      @StephanieBethany  5 років тому +6

      ❤❤ Thank you and I am so grateful for you being here and hope that you continue to know that you're not alone. ❤

  • @melewis66
    @melewis66 3 роки тому +15

    Gosh, friend, I realize this was almost two years ago, but I sure hope someone gave you the most rib-crushing hug after you recorded this. Excellent. Thanks for being so courageous and so transparent.

  • @lindalambert8727
    @lindalambert8727 2 роки тому +4

    Your story broke my heart. I have been there too. People who don’t get depressed don’t understand.

  • @FirstmaninRome
    @FirstmaninRome 5 років тому +19

    I feel ya stephanie, it's a depressing lonely experience being autistic, frustrating being undiagnosed and also once diagnosed, it's depression inducing , hang in there.

  • @SezFrancis1
    @SezFrancis1 5 років тому +19

    You've been through a lot Stephanie; I highly respect you for being brave and speaking out about mental health. I know three people who have depression and one of them had to be in a mental health unit in a hospital. It was really shocking to see and hear she had been treated - and this truly opened my eyes. My boyfriend also has depression but since we started dating, he's noticed that he in the last few months, he didn't need his anti-depressants and I am so proud of how far he has come.
    Talking about mental is important as many creators on the spectrum have started discussing it a lot more and I massively praise everyone who has spoken about it. Stephanie, you are truly brave ; I honestly have massive respect for you. I really do.

    • @StephanieBethany
      @StephanieBethany  5 років тому +3

      I truly appreciate that ❤ and I'm glad to hear about the improvement for your boyfriend!

    • @flyingfalcon8999
      @flyingfalcon8999 5 років тому

      Thank you

  • @selisa86
    @selisa86 5 років тому +15

    I didn't know that I was sometimes experiencing depression and anxiety for a long time, either. In my teen years, people thought I was just shy and awkward and often told me, "oh, I used to be shy too, you'll grow out of it, don't worry." Only, I never did. In fact, it got harder to go out and maintain relationships and even function in my everyday life. It's taken me a long time since I started isolating myself to actually see a doctor (and even then it was for fatigue from iron deficiency anemia, not mental health related. In fact, I tried to hide my dysfunction, anxiety and anything that I thought wouldn't be socially acceptable from even the doctor).
    But I decided to share with her a list of my observations (of my symptoms and difficulties) that I had written when asked about it by a family member who was seeing a therapist about mental health. Right away, my doctor said, "Asperger's," and suggested that I research it and see if I fit or related to the traits, etc. So I researched (a lot, because that's what I do lol) and along the journey, I have felt like so many things describe me and my life that it's shocking.
    At first, I didn't realize depression and anxiety could be so closely connected with autism. I had been aware of my anxiety for a while because I've experienced panic attacks for a number of years now and sometimes a constant, but lower, level of anxiety that doesn't ease up for hours to days.
    But the depression was harder to spot. I had to realize that when I experienced thoughts like, "I don't want to be here" or that "I don't feel that I deserve to take up my 'space' in this world," that these were suicidal thoughts. I thought that because I never went deeper into considering suicide or attempting suicide, that I wasn't truly depressed. But the depression affected my ability to function and my self esteem (usually starting from similar things to what you described like continually not being able to start or complete tasks, feeling worthless, unproductive, not fitting in society, not being able to keep up with friends or life, feelings of failure, etc.) I have felt hopelessness, but more often the feeling is, "living is exhausting and hard to cope with, but I do want to live." So I still don't know if what I experience may be more mild. To me, it seems like it might be.
    Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing this part of your story! I have a hard time even sharing these kind of feelings with my family and allowing them to see me crying and emotional (I used to never let anyone see me cry, when I had more control over that). But, you are really brave to share your experiences and I'm sure it will help those who see it. It helped me in thinking about actually talking to a therapist about this topic (which terrifies me). I'm so glad that you've found help and things that work for you and make life more livable! That's awesome. God bless you! 💖💕😊

    • @StephanieBethany
      @StephanieBethany  5 років тому +4

      Thank you so much for sharing! It's interesting how we convince ourselves it's nothing, yet are aware enough to try to hide it from people and professionals. If you do choose to bring it up, I hope it goes well and that you'll find something that helps, too! Much love and God bless 💕

    • @joanae8189
      @joanae8189 3 роки тому +3

      Oh Wow!!! Thanks for sharing. I very much relate. It's like what am I going to add??💖

  • @johniversen1539
    @johniversen1539 2 роки тому +4

    I find that now that I am older with autism, my mental health is getting worse than it was before, but that can be expected with all of the tragedies going on all at once right now. I don't think that I am as depressed as I was when I was younger, and that was pretty bad because I was a day away from leaving this earth, and I had nobody who would care about whether, or not I left. My Dad actually offered to shoot me. for almost four years I went from being bullied at school to coming home to abuse, and the cycle continued every day, but the depression started early on in elementary school because I felt unloved and unloveable I thought that it was my fault that my parents were divorced and that my dad wanted nothing to do with me. It was as I was coming home from school that I said that if there was a god, I needed help, and I needed the cycle to end, and I needed a support group that cared about me, and I needed the bullying to stop along with the abuse or else I would hang myself in my closet the next day. When I got home, there was a student from school playing with his family in the pool in the front yard. I talked with them, and these people would become family friends and my best friend. I stuck around because I had hoped that things would change because of my new friend, and they invited us to church. God touched my family and fixed what was broken through going to that church. I grew closer to my family because of what God did, but now they are all gone, and I am left here alone again. I'm afraid of my mind sometimes because I do have depressing, and suicidal thoughts sometimes, but I try to drown it out by focussing on my school work. The adventure that my mom, and I were on two years ago really helped with me being able to somewhat control my thoughts because we were living in a cold summer cabin through the winter. We had very limited food, and I lost 50 pounds with only being 150 pounds while only being 17. the plumbing didn't work, and it was just not a fun time. I thought that I was probably going to die from several different things, but I was able to focus my mind on school work that I got in the mail, and it really helped me out. My mom was going through another divorce at the time, and she fell victim to some scammers In Nigeria to whom she would give her money. Now she is going to Africa, and that is why I am alone again more than I've ever been. My grades are pretty good, and I might be able to go to college, but if I live my life alone, I don't think that is a life that I would want to live even if I am successful in making money. I don't want to live the rest of my life alone, and being autistic, I don't think that I am going to have much success in making new relationships. If you add on top of this that the world is ending, and other people have been dying, it really isn't fun. I do find that I am experiencing a lot more anxiety than I used to, or maybe that I have noticed because they don't seem to be things that should make me anxious because they didn't make me this anxious before. I find it harder to talk to people now than I used to, and I am agitated a lot more easily than I used to be. It seems that I will either feel a lot more anxiety or a lot more depression than I used to. Maybe that is because of age, but I think that it might be because I am still processing everything that is going on, and I can't handle all of the things that have been going on the last few years. Thank you for sharing your story about depression. I thought that maybe I should share my story in case somebody cares about what is going on right now.

  • @theaspiebridge
    @theaspiebridge 2 роки тому +3

    So many excellent recommendations- without the emotion you would not have alerted the women who needed to understand the severity. I am right behind you. Keep up these very necessary videos so others know it is Autism related

  • @nimrodgrrrl
    @nimrodgrrrl 5 років тому +9

    I’m going through a lot of the same stuff right now, and suspecting highly that I’m on the spectrum (I have two members of my family on both sides that are, one is nonverbal and requires constant care, and the other is high functioning but mentally is not the same age as he is physically). Finding your videos has made me realise that maybe what I’ve been dealing with my entire life isn’t “normal”. Thank you for helping to open my eyes, even if it turns out I’m not on the spectrum. This was hard to watch, but your experience with it all was so eloquently put, and it was healing for me to know I’m not alone in the gloom ❤️

    • @nimrodgrrrl
      @nimrodgrrrl 4 роки тому +1

      Coming back a year later. I’m really relating to this video even more so than before. The depression has gotten pretty bad as of late (holding on, being strong, and seeking more professional support, so don’t worry; it’s just tricky due to a lack of insurance and access to a psychiatrist). I’ve done a lot of research on autism and I’m now fairly confident that I’m autistic. My whole life just makes sense now. I was trying to get on the path to diagnosis before the pandemic, but unfortunately it’s come to a bit of a stop. Regardless, I just want to say thank you so much for your vulnerability and openness. Your videos have helped me so much more than you could ever know. 💖

  • @flyingfalcon8999
    @flyingfalcon8999 5 років тому +5

    Thank you for making this. I've been struggling with depression, PTSD, and addiction (this is why meds scare me more than anything) for years and Tramatic Brain Injury since 02/17/18. I've have complicated suicide three times and almost put a bullet through my head twice.
    Because of this video I'm finally getting an appointment. I want to actually be happy again and I want to stop having thoughts of taking that easy step off that bridge!

    • @StephanieBethany
      @StephanieBethany  5 років тому +4

      ❤ I'm so glad to hear that you're taking a step toward help. Thank you so much for sharing such personal information. Don't be afraid to be very vocal about your concerns with medication so they can give you the best route. Much love. ❤❤

    • @flyingfalcon8999
      @flyingfalcon8999 5 років тому

      @@StephanieBethany Thank for getting help. I can't stress that enough! When I was at Cape May for USCG basic I stood a suicide watch, helped stopped a guy as he was trying to hang himself, and almost did it too. That feeling of hopelessness depression brings can and will drag you to places that I can't wish on anyone. There is one person who if I met him again I would put him in the hospital but I can't wish depression or suicidal ideation on him.

    • @flyingfalcon8999
      @flyingfalcon8999 5 років тому +2

      @@StephanieBethany I've suspected depression for months this video was the metaphorical straw that broke the camel's back. I don't have an diagnoses but Wednesday I have an appointment and I'm getting help. This video pushed me into a meltdown and when I got out of it for the first time in my life I felt relieved and not vulnerable like a naked child. Again, Thank You so much.

    • @StephanieBethany
      @StephanieBethany  5 років тому +2

      @@flyingfalcon8999 I hope that all goes well with your appointment! ❤

  • @SweetiePieTweety
    @SweetiePieTweety 4 роки тому +2

    Oh Sweetie, yes, yes, yes... if you have never dealt with anxiety / depression to this degree just don’t even comment might be wise, even if you think what you are going to say is “loving”. Like walking in a mine field.
    Thank you for being so raw (and brave) with this. It is what it takes to get through the walls of misunderstanding.
    Unfortunate medication has been communicated as being bad. It can be a life saver if you can get the right medication for you. So thankful you were able to get some help.
    You nailed this whole thing. You are such a beautiful person❤️. The selfish thing broke my 💔 SO many people say suicide is selfish and depression suicidal ideation is selfish. This is such a misunderstanding of what is happening and just makes me angry first and then filled with sorrow. You are not selfish and never ever were. You needed help and understanding. Thanks be to God you are able to find something that helped. And no, there is no miracle pill, but sometimes you can find something that can help. And ya baby, tried all that stuff too and didn’t help.

  • @Hyzentley
    @Hyzentley 4 роки тому +5

    I have the immense luck to be not only autistic but also bipolar and have social anxiety, and like you it took me so long to take it seriously. For so long I tried to just treat it in other ways, and some things helped, but they never really helped enough, and it was just getting worse and worse. Only after I had really detailed ideas of how to kill myself we went to a psychiatrist, who prescribed me serotonin-reuptake-inhibitors (I think thats the english name for them, Sertralin and that stuff?), but the depressive phases just came back. I tried to power trough it, continue university, just thought this would go away since I was taking meds now. But instead it just got so bad at some point that I thankfully didn't even remember these particular weeks, only that I nearly died.
    But only after I injured myself in the lab trough being distracted my family took me out of university, and the psychologist recommended going into an psychiatric unit, since they only really well can fine tune what medication works best. I was so afraid to go there since you hear all this stuff about psychiatric units, but I really had no other choice.
    It took me half a year there, but they finally found medication that actually worked - after lots and lots of stuff that only had side effects. By now I've been without depressive or manic episodes for roughly a year, and while I still have a lot of side effects and are not as productive as before, it slowly gets better.
    One thing that is perhaps particulary important for other autistic people with mental health issues: They told me in the clinic that most autistic people tend to not react on antidepressants that hinder the reuptake of Serotonin only, but react well on ones that hinder both Seretonin and Noradrenalin.
    Also: You really don't have to be afraid of psychiatric units. They seems super scary in all the movies, but to be honest, the one I was in was an quite relaxing place, with nice nurses, the rooms were cosy, there was always something to do in case one needed distraction and always someone to talk.

  • @ericawardsims4238
    @ericawardsims4238 12 днів тому

    Thank you so much for this raw video! I felt this so deep and relate so much. I started my journey of knowledge that I am AuDHD with PDD in Feb of this year. I have watched tons of videos learning about myself - THIS VIDEO, watching and listening to you I felt like you were telling my story. ❤

  • @lj6109
    @lj6109 4 роки тому +2

    Thanks for the video. I was diagnosed at 14 for autism and things went downhill from there for me. The last few years have been better. Before the lockdown,I started going to the gym which really helped. I am also starting to do freelance work online in exchange for getting paid and I have a new interest in IT design. Business cards, logos, etc. So things are starting to look up now.

  • @Mrfurball25
    @Mrfurball25 5 років тому +4

    Depression is a problem for me too. I’m glad you made this video. Im looking forward to seeing the next autism speaks video

  • @AlexCarson
    @AlexCarson 5 років тому +6

    You are so strong and badass, Stephanie. I'm so proud of you for speaking about it so openly and I'm always around for any support you may need

  • @janinecunningham2
    @janinecunningham2 5 років тому +4

    Thank you for sharing. It's so great that there are so many people standing together!

  • @blairechristman3386
    @blairechristman3386 5 років тому +5

    Hello Stephanie. I'm new to your videos, but I wanted to comment on this one. First of all I commend you for speaking so openly and honestly and candidly about your experiences with your Autism, anxiety, depression. I know from my own personal experiences the difficulty in expressing oneself to others and trying to explain to them what it is that you are going through. I'm nearly 59 and only just recently found some of the Autism and Asperger's Syndrome videos here and pages and groups on social media sites. I have not been officially diagnosed with Autism or ASD, but I believe that I am definitely on the spectrum just based on the scores I got from taking some online quizzes, where my scores were significantly weighed towards ASD. So, I guess you could say that I am kind of the opposite of you. In that I've dealt with Major Depression and other comorbid diagnoses for pretty much most of my life. And I've been and had those dark thoughts continually, even while medicated. I've seen many doctors over the years for mental health issues and I've been prescribed many different types of medications to deal with not only depression, but anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, DID, both audio and visual ideations, etc. It is extremely scary and especially when you are unable to truly express what is going on in your mind, your thoughts can sometimes overtake you. I've had the same issues with wondering why I'm here. Why can't I be 'normal'. Why am I such a failour at everything I attempt to do? Why can't I just get out of this funk and do the dishes, or have the energy to brush my hair or take a shower and so much more. I've been told I was very selfish. I've been told I was now the shell of the women I once was and that my own family, my children, my grandchildren don't even know who I really am, because I have never really known who I am or why I've always done the things I've done or said. Why is it that I'm always the one struggling to be accepted, to fit in? Why do I always have to pretend that things are okay with me on the outside for others to see, when inside I am a total mess. I've had those dark thoughts and tried acting on them a couple of times. Doctors, hospitals, tests, meds, interviews, questions, counseling, groups. You name it. But watching your video here, I felt like your words were my words and that you said so many of the things I've wanted to say, but could never find the courage or voice to do it because of feeling unworthy or feeling that it would be one more thing to make people reject me, leave me, ignore me, be angry with me because they want me to just snap out of it. And now with what I am sure is my self-diagnosis of ASD with comorbidity, for once I feel connected and know that I am not alone. You are not alone. I know that might sound simple and contrite, but it's true. And the only way you, or I , or anyone else will ever know or understand is that we take the chance or leap of faith and muster up the courage to be honest and open and tell them the truth and encourage them to learn about what we deal with daily and hope that they take that and learn about us and learn with us. You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you and now you have and are obtaining the tools you need to have a wonderful life because you are able to understand more and figure your way through life's mazes, where I am just starting to figure out why it has taken me nearly 60 yrs to figure out who I really am. God Bless you and bless your journey. You being here, may be exactly what I needed and perhaps others who watch your video(s) will also feel the same way. You are stronger than you realize. I apologize for the length of my comment. Thank you again. :)

    • @StephanieBethany
      @StephanieBethany  5 років тому +2

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share about your experiences. It breaks my heart that you have to experience so much, but I am so deeply touched that we can connect in such a way. Thank you for your encouragement ❤

  • @blitzandchitzgaming2584
    @blitzandchitzgaming2584 Рік тому

    Being a failure in life is sometimes a great thing. To lose all empathy, all morals, to become sadistic and merciless, to no longer fear even death. The path to true darkness and indifference towards madness is a beautiful path that should be encouraged and taught to the youth so that we can all become equal and use our hatred and scorn to make the corrupt and vile suffer and expunge. Everyone fears darkness because they dont understand it, and they won't understand it until they've become it.

  • @cherrystoltz1557
    @cherrystoltz1557 Місяць тому

    You are NOT crazy! I have been depressed, on and off, since I was a very small child. Depression and suicidal thoughts are a big part of feeling guilty. Housework etc are my worst tasks but, if I can't face them, i make a plan to either buy an applicable appliance or ask someone to help me. If these are not feasible, i leave the tasks or temporarily cover them up.😂 As a matter of fact - FACT - your thought processes are simply different, and superior to many other people's. Your 'auttstic' brain synapses give you an UNIQUE mix of amazing abilities that very few people possess. I am 73. I was officially diagnosed as virtually 100% autistic, 7 days ago. At first, I felt terribly vulnerable and shaky, although I've been a committed Christian for 42 years. Reflecting on all this, so many issues suddenly made perfect sense. God never makes mistakes, therefore my brain is not a mistake. I have a mix of unusual talents that allow me to think outside the box and to see and solve problems almost instantly. Yes, I have had to learn to interact with people whose brains work differently, and to keep quiet instead of blurting out solutions etc., but I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I enjoy my brain. It gives me a feeling of happiness and awe. God does not make mistakes. My positive traits outweigh the so-called negatives. I have chosen to celebrate the way God made me and to thank Him from the bottom of my heart. Much love from me to you, sweet girl. ❤🤗🤗🤗

  • @anxiousoptimism5517
    @anxiousoptimism5517 11 місяців тому

    I relate to this a decent amount. I don't know if I'm depressed, I just know I have Autism. I feel guilty when I feel down because I have a good life, even if it's hard and I at times struggle to see the point in life. Sigh. Thank you for sharing.

  • @ChristianFrates1997
    @ChristianFrates1997 7 місяців тому

    I’m autistic and I have depression and anxiety. I get sad when people don’t pay attention to obscure media and facts.

  • @Stone95-
    @Stone95- 5 років тому +3

    ❤ Thank You!!!!!

  • @BloggerMusicMan
    @BloggerMusicMan 4 роки тому +1

    I'm a male from Canada who has high-functioning autism and bipolar II (particularly marked by depression). I've loved your videos about autism, in fact I think your channel is my favourite non-medical or non-academic based medium about the subject (I view Tony Attwood or Uta Frith, for example, as just a different kind of take on autism). But this video about depression was unbelievably powerful and resonant to my own experience. You're a very lovely person who is doing a lot of good. Keep it up.

  • @Gntlplaces
    @Gntlplaces 2 роки тому +1

    I love your authenticity and willingness to share your experience. It really helps me realize that I am not all this trouble. I experience this trouble. You are beautiful! ❣️

  • @AWalkingHat
    @AWalkingHat 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you for sharing this. I can relate to a lot of it. Speaking up is very important. You are courageous.

  • @sarahmi54
    @sarahmi54 5 років тому +1

    Your so brave..I'm In this process. You make me not want to give up.

    • @sarahmi54
      @sarahmi54 4 роки тому

      Idk if you can msg or email but would like to connect with you on some things. I'm sure a lot of people say that being on UA-cam but you seem like on the same level as me with a lot. Lmk

  • @lalane5023
    @lalane5023 5 років тому +2

    You are so very brave, and the beauty of your soul is so apparent to me. Thank you so much for sharing this! It was so helpful to me, and I am sure it will help many others. God Bless you ❤️

  • @Feminazi1dc
    @Feminazi1dc 2 роки тому

    omg i put this on & im sitting here doing something then i looked over at ur video to see u rocking and i was literally rocking at the same time lmao

  • @EricBZink
    @EricBZink 5 років тому +1

    Strong share and definitely lets others know they are not alone! Keep bringing the awareness mad support for you!

  • @TwitchandMoan
    @TwitchandMoan 5 років тому

    I really appreciate you putting this out there. It takes a lot to show such a vulnerable side of yourself. I'm also glad you made mention of people assuming depression is some kind of situational sadness.
    People think depression is like being sad because you don't have a puppy. When in reality it's more like you love puppies, you own an adorable puppy who loves you back, and you're so sad that you don't care about yourself or the puppy.
    It's sadness without a direct cause or solution. A potent drink mix of apathy and anxiety.

  • @paolavargasanchieta9203
    @paolavargasanchieta9203 2 роки тому

    gracias por este video yo tengo depresion grave y soy autista y es tan dificil sobrellevar la vida muchas veces mas cuando tengo crisis gracias por abrirte en tus videos me ayuda mucho

  • @thephilosopher5799
    @thephilosopher5799 4 роки тому +1

    This is very similar to my story. Thank you

  • @matthonney
    @matthonney 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much for this video ^u^
    I really want to share my experience , your video gave me hope and encouragement to do so ❤️

  • @joanae8189
    @joanae8189 3 роки тому

    Stephanie!! I thank you so much for making this video. So many people can be helped by this. I wish there was internet and people like you when I was a teenager going through what you just described. I still go through all that. Listening to people like you who understands this... it's so extremely validating. Much Love and God Bless!!💖🙌

  • @nakreuger
    @nakreuger 2 роки тому

    I come back to this video occasionally, thank you. I'm also and autistic Christian who has depression.

  • @alexz7293
    @alexz7293 3 роки тому

    Thank you Stephanie, I'm 2 weeks out from my intake for a diagnosis and needed to hear this. I'll be bringing up a lot more than I had planned 😅

  • @deviatedspectrum
    @deviatedspectrum 5 років тому

    Hi, Stephanie. Thanks so much for your courageous video. Depression meds saved me and your video is a true public service. Btw, I'm a new subscriber. I was formally diagnosed less than a week ago - at age 62 (!). Thanks for all you do.

    • @StephanieBethany
      @StephanieBethany  5 років тому +1

      Thank you so much for being here and taking the time to share with me 💛

  • @kyleandrewsmasterson3359
    @kyleandrewsmasterson3359 3 роки тому

    Thank you Stephanie for bringing this into perspective and reflecting back to my past experiences I now understand completely

  • @brianfoster4434
    @brianfoster4434 Рік тому

    Thank you.

  • @Naturegirl1976
    @Naturegirl1976 2 роки тому +1

    Suffering from depression isn't being selfish at all. In my personal experiences being an autistic person I've always felt ignored as a young kid. This has caused me to have serious trust issues. I also suffer from severe chronic pain and it makes me question my own sanity

  • @johniversen1539
    @johniversen1539 2 роки тому

    Thank you for your courage in sharing this.

  • @Ruthless701
    @Ruthless701 3 місяці тому

    I went through the same thing. I was diagnosed late at 20

  • @kyleandrewsmasterson3359
    @kyleandrewsmasterson3359 3 роки тому

    Through my past experiences from past psychiatric hospitalizations coping skills a tool box of different coping skills to use coping skills before they get too intense or overwhelming

  • @kyleandrewsmasterson3359
    @kyleandrewsmasterson3359 3 роки тому

    Take care stephanie I feel the same exact way alot of the times 💖💖💖🙏🙏😢😢

  • @thevirtualjim
    @thevirtualjim 4 роки тому

    My 1st experiences with mental healthcare was when i was suicidal in college and my GF got me to go to the health center at the college (1995).
    I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and put on paxil for 3 yrs (i prob needed to be on it longer or go back to something else later on - i think i did myself a disservice in my life not going back on anti-depressants at times). then through my life would go to a therapist on and off and also have waxing and waning issues with depression. Then a few yrs ago (2015) when i realized I might be on the spectrum (cause it impacted my job and it reminded me that some therapist sin the past had asked about it in passing but it didnt seem important to them so i had blown it off) and it took me a yr to find a place that could diagnose me - besides ASD, they also diagnosed me with ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder, and my reaction to the anxiety diagnosis was almost exactly the same as yours! (and there is currently some off-again-on again on if i need to go on anxiety meds)
    My depression - i didnt know it was 'depression' but i did know it wasnt normal and not what most people experienced (although i thought that about most things i felt), and when i was diagnosed with depression I looked back in my life and i realized I had been depressed since jr high school.
    I also found out that a reason all the time getting treated (talk therapy) for depression didnt work that well was because it wasnt known I was on the spectrum, and by knowing you are on the spectrum, they way they do therapy for depression and anxiety both are different for us on the spectrum (at least from what my PsyD told me who diagnosed my ASD)
    Id tell myself the exact same stuff as you - 'you have no reason to be depressed so suck it up' was the kind of thing id tell myself for so many yrs! :( Also, I once had a therapist tell me 'oh you arent THAT depressed!' i was like 'whaaa?' - luckily that happened after I had been going to therapy for a long time (i needed to shop for a new therapist so i went to this one) so I wasnt in such a fragile state - but i think cause i wasnt expressing the depression in the 'typical' way she didnt think I had a problem. I definitely moved on from her to find another asap! Us on the spectrum seem to have issues with getting proper healthcare (both [physical and mental) because we dont 'present' in the typical ways NTs do. :(
    BTW, I feel you with all the problems trying to get yourself to get help - the combo of depression and executive dysfunction makes it so hard!
    Also, its probably not much of a help to you now, but in the US by law, mental health has parity - which means all insurance must cover mental health as well as physical health - copays have to be the same as PCP appointments AND you dont need a referral from a PCP to go to a therapist :)

  • @kyleandrewsmasterson3359
    @kyleandrewsmasterson3359 3 роки тому

    I remembered one instance where I was probably 4 or 5 yrs old I took scissors where I cut my bangs and or I spun myself into a frenzy and walked into a wall or chair and literally knocked out my front tooth.

  • @kyleandrewsmasterson3359
    @kyleandrewsmasterson3359 3 роки тому

    And in my middle school years I had to be excused for Dr's appointments e.g. eeg treatments because they feared epilepsy episodes I almost died of an drug overdose mixed with alcohol the night before Halloween on 1992 if my brother didn't break down my bedroom door that night and end up in the ICU where I had charcoal inserted down a tube down the tube down my throat I wouldn't be here now!

  • @englihswithmusic7413
    @englihswithmusic7413 Рік тому +1

    Very good and beautiful

  • @Emily-fw7lb
    @Emily-fw7lb 5 років тому +2

    My channel was used to help those people with depression or insomnia.
    Hope it can help you.

  • @mustapharouatbi1312
    @mustapharouatbi1312 4 роки тому

    I support you ❤️

  • @blitzandchitzgaming2584
    @blitzandchitzgaming2584 Рік тому

    Why would the police call her? Why would the feds get a referrel from her psychologist?

  • @SSJKamui
    @SSJKamui 3 роки тому

    Like I already said elsewhere. My doctors ignored the reasons for my mental Health Problems and gave me advice which was Pretty stupid and not really helpful. (I was depressed because I never had a girlfriend. Instead of helping me to find one, the therapists told me "think you are Beautiful, although you Always get rejected.") In the end, my therapist pressured me to undergo some programs to "help me find a Job" (I already had 3 Jobs), and this nearly caused a suicide attempt.
    Then, I stopped therapy and outright refused to visit any Kind of psychiartist. I especially distrust Cognitive Behavior Therapy. (No joke. Someone even wanted to sent me to Cognitive Behavior THerapy because I distrust Cognitive Behavior Therapy.)
    Jordan Peterson, Victor Frankls Books and the writings of Julius Evola and Alexander Dugin, and Ancient Buddhism were far more helpful in my life than any psychiartrist.
    It would be good if there would be a form of psychotherapy based on the writings of Felix Guattari and Gilles Deleuze. I really like their Approach of putting desire at the Forefront and saying that your ego and everything else is just a justification for your desires. Their ideas sounded Pretty Buddhist of me.
    And it made far more sense to me than the Cognitivist "do not think anything negative" Approach".

  • @cattiefogelsong6399
    @cattiefogelsong6399 4 роки тому

    I really hate the phrase band aid solution. First brain aids are useful and nessisary. People don’t usually envoke it correctly. Medications in general but depression and anxiety medications specifically are not Band Aid solutions. I developed depression in my preteen years. When I was 14 I tried to jelly myself twice. Later that year I helped start a suicide prevention organization. I was invoked in meeting and trainings. I learned a lot of things from the 6 years of work I did with the organization. The most important is that working for such an organization dose not cure depression... in seriousness one of our main focuses was correcting myths and misinformation about mental illness. I always brought up autism as a risk factor for mental health problem. We would over and over again that getting help dose not make you week and it is always okay to talk to people about your needs when they are not getting met. To me that was the most important take away. After my own bad experiences trying to get an autism diegnosis I am trying again.

  • @kyleandrewsmasterson3359
    @kyleandrewsmasterson3359 3 роки тому

    What about getting a autism support dog? For yourself and I'm highly considering in obtaining a autism service dog for myself as well! Hope you're doing well Stephanie! 💖💖💖🙏🙏

  • @3f9dl
    @3f9dl 4 роки тому

    من الجيد ان عندكم طبيب نفسي في بلدكم او في منطقتكم
    ❤❤❤❤

  • @flyingfalcon8999
    @flyingfalcon8999 5 років тому +1

    I had to say this, I see you're wearing "Mr Bean." 😁🤣 Yeah, your beanie was named. It's a cast member. An expert has made that clear to me.

  • @lauraamick463
    @lauraamick463 2 роки тому

    It’s not selfish, that’s false guilt. Depression is a chemical imbalance

  • @kyleandrewsmasterson3359
    @kyleandrewsmasterson3359 3 роки тому

    Identity based I leaned towards being lesbian and my mother forbade that behavior!

  • @kyleandrewsmasterson3359
    @kyleandrewsmasterson3359 3 роки тому

    I'm noticing that you're stimming right now!

  • @lindaclairesartori
    @lindaclairesartori 2 роки тому

    Please hear me.
    Stephanie.
    Your voice. When you go up at the end of a sentence. Too hard to listen to.
    Just say it. Don't doubt it.

  • @user-uk2ss6rt9c
    @user-uk2ss6rt9c 2 роки тому

    Inirerekomenda ko ito ay mahusay na spell caster *marshall spell caster,* siya ay legit at pinagkakatiwalaan,

  • @Desertphile
    @Desertphile 5 років тому

    Thank you.

  • @user-uk2ss6rt9c
    @user-uk2ss6rt9c 2 роки тому

    Inirerekomenda ko ito ay mahusay na spell caster *marshall spell caster,* siya ay legit at pinagkakatiwalaan,