And May I add that Pema has written countless books that have helped people greatly. My favorites were When Things fall apart, Start where you are, Taking the leap, No time to lose. When I was in a terrible situation, Buddhism helped me to be quiet. Even if I couldn’t find compassionate words, at least I learned not to react.
I may add that she enabled the sexual abuse of children, shamed the victims, protected the abusers and then didn’t take responsibility for it and still doesn’t…so much for that Fierce Grace or whatever.
Pema is a National Treasure! Thank you. In a world of Spiritually arrogant people and Teachers her humility and humanness is so valuable. For anyone new to Pema I recommend any and all her books. So grateful to hear her health is better. ❤🎉
@@ravenofthewild 🐟 25. THE ROLE OF FEMALES: Women are fortunate because they are BORN with a job: Daughter. Wife. Mother. Females normally have no role in public life. Exceptions to this rule are relatively rare. For instance, women may work in the arts (singers, actors, and dancers, which often demand female players), or as maids or nurses, both of which are feminine duties, providing it has no detrimental effect on their PRIMARY function, as daughters, wives, and mothers. So, a female’s fundamental role is to serve her MASTERS (any man in her family circle), even from a relatively young age, by performing domestic duties and raising her children. Barren women (heterosexual or otherwise) are extremely unfortunate, but can still devote their lives to serving their husband, father, grandfather, uncles, or in the event that none of those men are extant, adult male cousins. Studies have shown that the more a woman deviates from this innate societal function, the less she is fulfilled. The phrase, “Cat Lady”, says it all. As a general rule, women should be protected in the home, and never wander-out alone. They should FULLY cover their bodies in the presence of post-pubescent males outside the family circle. Even the prostitutes in some nations wear veils in public, even if out of fear of reprisal. Having lived the eremitic life of a monastic priest for a few decades, I can attest to the importance of keeping one’s home clean and tidy. It is obvious to me that housekeeping is very much a full-time occupation, and that if I were to neglect my domestic chores, my health and comfort would greatly diminish. As would be expected of a person in my position, I follow a strict diet and am obsessive in regards to hygiene. Without a spouse, the onus is on me to maintain my residence in a prim and proper manner, even though it results in me spending less time teaching religion as a member of the Holy Priesthood (The World Teacher, in my particular case). Therefore, the role of a housewife is of PARAMOUNT importance, and must never be discounted by anybody, particularly feminist ideologues. The following chapter deals with feminism. The ONLY reason I have resided alone for most of my adult life is due to the fact that there is a severe scarcity of decent women in my country, and indeed the entire world, what to speak of holy and righteous women. Unfortunately, few women, particularly in the more affluent nations, any longer receive adequate training in the connubial arts. In my former marriages, I was forced to perform most household chores. In recent centuries, due to various factors (FEMINISM, in particular), women have become so degraded, that is it practically impossible to find an example of an ideal woman. Therefore, in order to reference examples of such a woman, one is forced to refer to figures from ancient myths. Mariam, the mother of Lord Jesus Christ, and Devī Sītārānī, the wife of Śri Rāja Rāma, King of Ayodhya, are the epitome of womanhood, and ought to be the role models for each and every girl born on this planet. That is assuming, of course, that those two women were, in actual fact, the gentle, refined, humble and submissive goddesses they were portrayed to be in the archaic scriptures. Obviously, this teaching receives an ENORMOUS amount of scorn, contempt and derision from a certain proportion of women (and also many "men"), but that is perfectly fine, because, such foolish feminists are destined to die lonely and alone, with no family surrounding them, and hopefully not transfer their adulterated genes to forthcoming generations. In some locations in the world, STRAY COWS freely wander the urban streets, displaying their teats. Similarly, in most locations, women wander the dangerous streets alone or in groups, displaying their bosoms and other bodily parts. Such loose women are no better than STRAY COWS. The TRUTH is very difficult to accept, right, Slave? “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the TRUTH.” Siddhārtha Gautama (AKA The Buddha), Aṅguttara Nikāya 3.131 (Paraphrased). Paṭicchanna Sutta “...encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.” ************* “Yet women will be saved through childbearing, provided they continue in faith and love and holiness, with modesty.” ************* “Women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says.” St. Paul of Tarsus, Titus 2:4-5. 1 Timothy 2:15. 1 Corinthians 14:34.
I think that “putting others above our own needs” is generally unhealthy. Maybe it’s a good practise for people who have practised being selfish the majority of their lives but for someone like myself who put everyone else’s wants before my own needs and ended up burning out and getting panic attacks, it’s been a necessary process to learn how to listen to my inner guidance and honour my own needs ❤ my devotion is to doing my inner work for “the highest good of all” and the “all” is an understanding (experiential deep knowing) that when I heal myself, I’m healing the world because we’re all connected ❤
I agree. It does no one any good to put one's self last. I burned myself out on that. Got very exhausted & came down with all kinds of chronic woes. Now I'm highly agitated & turning into a bitter old hag, griping & lashing out in explosive anger. It's very hard to be kind when you feel physically, mentally & emotionally tortured. I was a big- hearted, sensitive giving & loving human being who was taking care of everyone but myself.
@@lynne3989 Buddhism is said to be the Middle Way. I find that altho that is a philosophical stance based on samadhi realization,, holding both relative and ultimate views of reality simultaneously, still, on the ordinary level of ordinary reality, it is also the Middle Way. Sometimes we have difficulty seeing which way that is, but when it comes to a point like this, it does NOT mean that you put yourself last. "If Momma ain't happy, nobody is happy." So self-care and self-understanding is important from the beginning. That is what meditation is, self-care.! Joy just comes out of contentedness with the inside and the outside appearance. You can't help others if you haven't taken care of your own trips first. Venerable Ani Pema speaks of this when she speaks of staying still and just relaxing into it. Being still, listening, staying steadily at the heart center and moving out from there. I have also found it very helpful sometimes to yell "Fuck you!" with all my righteous indignation! into the listening silence of the empty living room! Then I feel fierce and capable and I can't help laughing . The ridiculousness of situations just breaks open. The appearance of the moment and my stance in it disappears into laughter.
I think core to this concept of taking care of someone is that our person ecology is taken care of first with establishment of strong boundaries. The boundaries don’t need to be so strong that they are reactive. But when our personal ecology is well-maintained by ourselves, we know what we can give which does not deter from ourselves and we know what our boundaries are which is a part of we know what we can give.
Finally someone one said what I thought when first heard it, because there are people who want others to alter truth for their needs, alter what others want for their needs
Pema has saved my life many times. She embodies the teachings and is a boddisatva. Her presence and voice is so kind and caring and humane. I love you, Pema. Thank you for all you have done.
Reminds me of a movie I saw about the black movement for equality in America (I’m in Australia) and the black men and women went into the cafes, buses, everywhere there was segregation, sat down and refused to move. They got spat on, kicked, abused and they stood their ground without reacting, without violence. And they soon after won ❤ Love eventually wins. Another note, one of the first spiritual lessons I adopted was self- responsibility- being responsible for your own reactions, wounds, sensitivities, hurts and dealt with them first before ever bringing any issues up with other people. It has been the forefront to my healing/awakening journey. ❤
dhamma: the Pāli cognate of “dharma”. However, in this case, it invariably refers to the teachings of Gautama Buddha, rather than the eternal law (“sanātana dharma”, in Sanskrit). In this book, it is used in the former sense, that is, of “holy and righteous concepts and deeds”. Therefore, the term “Buddhist dhamma/dharma” is somewhat nonsensical, since dhamma/dharma is fundamentally non-sectarian. Despite being the most atheistic human being to have ever existed, I often PRAY that I am not in the process of consuming a meal whenever I hear a Buddhist monk or lay teacher referring to his or her lecture as being a “dhamma talk”. If you have carefully read the entirety of this Holy Scripture, “F.I.S.H”, and you have listened to many Buddhist sermons, you may have already guessed the reason for my fervent prayer. This is because the assertion that the overwhelming majority of Buddhist monks are teaching authentic dharma is so excruciatingly cringe-worthy and laughable, I am genuinely fearful of choking on my food upon hearing such silly claims! First of all, the founder of Buddhism himself, Siddhārtha Gautama was hardly a paragon of virtue, having abandoned his family in order to become a mendicant monk, being an animal-abusing carnist, and encouraging females to become loose women (so-called “nuns”). In my half a century of life, I have only ever encountered one or two Buddhists who adhered to (actual) dharma, so in that sense, they were factually SUPERIOR to Gautama himself! For instance, the abbot of the largest Buddhist society in my homeland, Australia, believes that it is dharmic (legitimate) for men to insert their reproductive organs inside the faeces holes of other men, and of course, like his idol, Gautama, he is a murderer of poor, innocent, defenceless animals, and a filthy feminist. Furthermore, despite being an indigenous Englishman, and a graduate of one of the most prestigious universities on earth, University of Cambridge, he is entirely unable to coherently speak his native tongue! Should not a supposed “spiritual leader” be an exemplar in at least his own language? Of course, no human being (including so-called “Avatars”) who has ever lived was morally perfect, but those who claim to be spiritual masters ought to be beyond reproach in respect to their own ethical practices. In the aforementioned case, Gautama should have returned to his family as soon as he understood the immorality of his actions, just as I, when I began adhering to dharma, repaid two persons from whom I had stolen goods and cash. Furthermore, assuming that Gautama was really a carnist (and knowing the typical diet of Bhārata, it would be safe to assume that he was at LEAST a lacto-vegetarian, and therefore an animal-abusing criminal), he was certainly sufficiently intelligent to understand that it is unnatural for an adult human to suckle the teats of a cow or a goat, and that human beings are fully herbivorous. Otherwise, how could he possibly be considered a member of the priestly class of society (“brāhmaṇa”, in Sanskrit) if he was not able to even comprehend some of the most basic facts of life? Make no mistake, carnism (see that entry in this Glossary) is a truly abominable, horrendous, wicked, hateful, evil, immoral, sinful, demonic ideology, as is feminism and unlawful divorce (in the case of Prince Gautama, the abandonment of his wife and son would be considered an act of divorce). When a so-called Zen Buddhist priest asks another MALE so-called Zen Buddhist priest (as occurred in a video interview I just watched on the Internet), "Do you and your husband have any kids?”, one can be fully assured that the lowest point in the history of humanity has been reached. The fact that both the aforementioned so-called priests are American men, is not coincidental, since the most decadent religionists seem to be of Western/first-world origin. I don't believe I have come across a single Western Buddhist monastic who is not at least slightly left-leaning (“leftism” being a common term in the English-speaking world for “adharmic”).
I'm sooo grateful for this interview, Dan. Pema Chodron offered me life-saving teachings when I was very sick and depressed many years ago. She's such a genuine, powerful, loving, and humble teacher. Joseph Goldstein was my first dharma teacher - also wonderful. Dan, I resonate with your sincere, no BS interview style - so much more trustworthy than anything fawning. Heartfelt thanks!
Skillful means. When Garchen Rinpoche gave us the Boddhisattva Vow, we had to visualize the people we love & feel that feeling within. Then we had to visualize a person we intensely disliked, and generate the same amount of love for them. It melts the ice block in our hearts. In 12-step recovery we have to pray for the people we resent. Transforming, healing, and neutralizing negative, traumatic events, is work. It demands diligence and gentleness too.
Almost twenty years ago a coworker gave me “Don’t bite the hook” by Pema Chodron and that was my introduction to Buddhist thinking. Eventually I got to a dharma group and on that first day a monk was there and people were taking refuge vows. Boy, did I not know what I was getting into! 😊I still struggle daily with not saying the angry, sarcastic, snippy thing, but at night I have a place of meditation and calm to return to. Thank you, Pema and so glad to see that you are looking well!
Thank you for sharing. Your comment was helpful to me. I struggle with my anger due to childhood traumas, but I appreciate you mentioning that you're constantly working on yourself and you go back to meditation at night for your calm.
I was listening to Pema's video podcasts and noticed this at the end so decided to watch. I enjoyed this so much...your interview with her was excellent. Thank you. So now I've subscribed to 10% Happier, as well!
Pema is beautiful. Her books have made a profound difference on my journey. She is so down to earth, and kind. I adore her. 😇 And is there anything else you wish to say?
Pema Chodron is so real and down to earth. I read many of her books and hold them dear. Like many, her teachings get me through hard times. So grateful the world has someone like her. Thank you Pema.
I just loved this interview view with pema chodron. She is the epitome of wisdom imho. I will go over this many times and glean over the nuggets she has shared. Thank you Jordon. You are a great interviewer. 🙏. The end was brilliant.
Yes I concur whole heartedly - great interview. Very generous (from each other), much gentleness with strength, Loving, deep insight, honesty, wisdom and so very humorous too!! Thank you 🙏 xx
Ever since I read When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron, she has been a big help in starting my meditation and way of seeing life. If we start every day with the first principle non harm, what then must we do? Well-- over 2500 years people have been saying what works via the 4 Noble Truths. I'd love to see 10% interview teachers in shorts format to speak about how they cope with genocide, climate chaos, overpopulation, migration-- the whole project of finding out there are no others. Calm joy is at the center of each of us, if we can bear sitting in silence to find out. I think this meditation is a construct of people moving all day, and vast periods of boredom. Today I think our devices make sitting and being bored so difficult. And if we can't stand being bored, can we cultivate a mind full of peace?
There's a huge difference between helping someone from a place of confidence, self love and a familiarity with their suffering, and doing it to look good or numb out from my own issues. It can be subtle, especially if a person has never stopped to look at why they do what they do. It gets easier!
I have often reached out to Pema Chodren’s teachings, she is a true light 💫 Greg Boyle is also a an incredible spiritual being whom exudes love and compassion.❤️
My personal vocabulary has been upgraded as a result of this marvelous interview: "Positive selfishness, cheezie upward spiral, and toxic generosity" are now added. Long a follower of the teachings of Pema, and a new devotee of Ten Percent Happier . . . this is a very good morning. Thank you most genuinely. Oh and I want to add one more thing. Ten years ago I became a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor. In the State of Oregon, self-care is an ETHICAL MANDATE of licensure for this discipline. This has since stuck with me that I cannot teach what I do not know and demonstrate.
Pema is such a beloved teacher for so many of us, and we are so lucky that she's alive while we are. And the interviewer is so astute, aware and intelligent with his questions and perceptions. I really enjoyed listening to these two discourse. Thanks 10% Happier !!
I love Pema but the first thing that came to me when I saw the title is that true happiness. cannot be the result of a strategy, that all strategies are limited. You don't need to know anything or do anything in order to Be and Beingness is where it's at 😊
This is so helpful. I look forward to my continued journey in Buddhism and mindfulness. My first introduction to Buddhism was coming up on her book, when things fall apart. That book saved my life, literally. It's crazy bc I never knew Pema was a female. I'm even more intrigued by her and her teachings of Buddhism. Personally it's something about a female guru/spiritual mentor that motivates me even more. Lastly, I both appreciate and adore her personality. And the human-ness of her. Her sharing the short story about her argument with her daughter was very relatable and profound bc she's so smart, calm and mindful that one would easily perceive Pema as perfect. Her admitting that she's not, but still allowing herself some loving kindness was really awesome. This was a wonderful interview and I'm glad my spirit guides me to this video.
Thank you Dan, for this heart-warming interview with Pemba Chodran. She is such a graceful and evolved Bikkuni & you were so intuitive in asking the right questions to clarify how we can grasp the concepts of the Bodhisattva vow. 🙏
Sorry to spam your comments, Dan. Here’s some extra teachings. I hope they’re helpful to anyone curious. I took the Percepts / Bodhisattva Vow over zoom with Jetsumna Tenzin Palmo in 2021 during the pandemic. I just emailed her. I never expected her to email me back truly. At the time I had no idea what Buddhism was. I watched a Dharma Talk on UA-cam. I emailed her. A week later, I got up at 4:30 AM. We did it over zoom. Best thing ever did for myself.❤❤❤
Love the sense of humour. 😅 It really helps to lighten the "serious" topic and understand the profound-ness. For me, it also helped to embrace it. The power of oneness. A beautiful day for you = a beautiful day for me, and viseversa.
That was very good because it dealt with a tough challenge and how to work through it on the spot. Good job Dan and Pema, I say!! Thank you for this conversation! Substantial and important discussion!! for all of us! Your last question, Dam Harris, re women!! YES!! I had much resistance towards not putting yourself first for women and I am one. First we have to become whole beings, embracing both aspect of ourselves - both men and women... and then we will be better Bodhisattvas.
I feel sometimes what is missing in those teachings or the teachers forget to explain is that: Understanding is transformative. The more we do work on ourselves and dark aspects with no judgment as Pema says, the more the conditioning starts to unravels and we start to understand why we have done what we have done in the past - how the survival game has been set up. It is about survival and I think both the understanding and the acknowledgement of survival are two very important aspects of the work within. Once we start seeing our dark side little by little, the pattern starts to unravel and we develop an understanding and through that understanding we are then able to help and empower others so they maybe free and not dependent on us. Also another point missing and I know there are the brahma viharas... but still loving our own "ego' unconditionally so it may feel safe to do the work. This will also help and eventually accelerate the unravelling and we are then able to see the whole pattern of survival that we have created and start forging new pathways that are supportive of our oneness and of our diversity by teaching the principles in an effective way, where everyone is able to know them and apply them to their uniqueness but creating that better version of who they are... It could be also said, it is like dying in this reality when we are able to unravel the whole pattern. A new human is then manifested so to speak and there maybe a shift in the whole planet. when enough critical mass transforms..... That is what I see and understand. And living life will become totally new.
This was very enlightening, pun intended. This was my introduction to the lovely Pema. I thank my algorithm angel for showing me this video which answers some of my recent questions. At 41:00 ish - 44:00 when Dan asks (major paraphrase) how can the average person remain focused on compassion as their north star with the world pulling at our egos and desires? And Pema answers by reflecting back to the Vow, or in other words intention setting as a daily (or hourly!) practice and then self-evaluating later, with self-compassion (and humor!) Very good practices. And very clear instructions!! I'd like to add something that has been helping me. It's not new to the world, but bears repeating to answer their important question. One answer is the identity we assume. I have been consciously shifting my identity to the broadest possible -- I'm just a lifeform on the planet along with all the other organisms -- and as much as I can truly live in that mindset, i feel it becoming easier and easier to make choices that benefit all life. To have my thoughts shaped by compassion. My interactions, my smiles, then energy I share... all genuine but shifted to empower others rather than trying to "get" something as I go through life. And the peace that now often comes to me is a beautiful relief after my first 50 years swirling in huge reactions. Their clarity inspired me to share a bit of my own, such as it is. To me, I have come to define spirituality as inclusivity. This was a lightbulb moment when writing about world peace for my dad's memorial service. He was a theologian particularly focused on peace (and particularly in the Middle East. I wish his influence had spread farther sooner, but I'm on it, Dad.) I'm Praying for all beings to widen the circle of their identities.
Thank you so much. Such an important interview reminding us of why we take the vow, why and how we can take actions in these very troubled times, and to be gentle with ourselves when we goof up.
I have always loved Pema Chodron, and Dan, your excellent sense of humor meshed perfectly with hers, which I hadn't seen her show until today. She lives in the same center that a friend of mine, Konchog Norbu, lives in, and he's the funniest monk I know, so it does my heart good to think of him having the opportunity to crack jokes with Pema on a daily basis. (To be honest, Konchog is the only monk I know, but you get the point.) Also, your app is totally saving my ass right now. Thank you, so much.
Thank you! For the hour and 13 minutes of peace. To sit with friends. So thankful for this sangha. So far from living in total equanimity but so thankful that there are beings on this earth who strive towards this and who actually have accomplished it. Shanti peace Thank you for reminding us of the potential...... For the support for the knowledge
Surely our own needs MUST be a top priority, then we are in a much better position to help others, because we are then able to operate at our fullest potential...
I am 71 and been in and out of cultish spiritual practice, a materially successful career, alcohol abuse, self absorption, pleasure seeking and I am I feel like I have got nowhere. Listening Pema helps but also shows me want I should have been.
Countless are sentient beings I vow to liberate. Endless are afflictions I vow to eradicate. Measureless are the Dharmas I vow to master. Supreme is the Buddha way I vow to obtain. Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa 🙏🙏🙏
It’s about control. Getting triggered and wanting the source to stop triggering us. However going inside ourselves and realizing we want our fear to stop, then reminding ourselves we aren’t unsafe in the moment we can redirect our thoughts and reempower ourselves.
Interesting that she talks about the importance of breaking habits. Im reading Joe Dispenza atm and doing his meditations for exactly that...its challenging but I am seeing results. I follow Tibetan Buddhism and admire this wonderful Nun. 🙏
Thank you so much for this interview. Took some notes! Love Pema and her wisdom so much. Could listen to her for hours. Could have listen more of your conversation too! That was really great. A delight! I go back to "When things fall apart" and "Fail, Fail Again, Fail Better" from time to time, and to those who haven't read them, I highly recommend them! Regards from Paris!
Enjoyed your conversation. Dan, you are a lucky man. She is an icon. You are not. She is a rock star. You did well enough … and I thank you both for the joy of listening to your conversation.
She is definitely NOT a mere mortal lol. 😇😇😇. How blessed, lucky 🍀 are we to be here on the planet, at the same time as her 🙏💚💚💚. & ALWAYS HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR 👏👍👍👍
I'm a huge fan of Pema's perspectives! To me, what's great is that she IS a mere mortal - just like Buddha was a mere mortal, and as are we! And the fact that mere mortals are capable of cultivating such awareness - is powerfully exciting! ... and challenging.... ...and loving... 🌟❤🌟
Thanks! I love Pema, have been listening to her, reading her books for years. I wasn’t familiar with this podcast or you Dan and when I opened up UA-cam this video was recommended! So of course I clicked play now! I also subscribed because I am interested in who else you interview. BTW, I have a Tshirt with the saying of the bumper sticker 😍
Dan you’re doing such admirable work ~ Pema is a blessing. I’d like to add I have not seen Dan’s face since ABC, he has a glow of happiness. He’s doing such powerful work. Another blessing in this world.
Just after you were born, no matter how bad the circumstances, a person, or people, gave you some measure of loving kindness, some amount of compassion. If not, you would not be alive now. That was your introduction to life, the implicit knowledge that loving kindness and compassionate understanding are indispensable for human life to exist. The foundation of human life, therefore, is loving kindness and compassionate understanding. As we age we are taught otherwise by damaged people. 💔 Their misdirection is rarely intentional. They are simply sick due to their own early learning experiences/trauma. Once this is understood, we can seek help to dismantle the wrong thinking that we were taught and insert, through daily practice, right thinking, and thereby right actions. The teacher that I have learned from is Thich Nhat Hahn, and the practitioners that learned from him before me. weezi-💜🙏💖🙏🤠
Thank you Pema. Feeling what I feel = tending to my own portion of the garden, of doing my share of the tasks, instead of forcing it on someone else to bear, to work through (a game of hot potato?). If I think of it that way and if I never practice, get my own hands dirty, then when there's no one left to take on my emotional responsibilities or bear some of it, I'll be weak as a kitten. Such hard work, but so worth it. Sometimes remembering is easy, sometimes it's like another human being enters my body and erases all of my experience. But I keep at it. Curious to see how it all turns out.
Yes -- thank you both, so much for Being, in the world, with us, in this kind, wise way. Dan, great interviewing and commentary, Pema, one of my favorite mentors. An epiphany (aha!) of mine, was realizing I can't offer "selfless service" (a grand idea) apart from Knowing my (the) self, my Self (the work), and coming to the realziation, "I Am, That I Am." I and other are one, how I treat either, impacts both .
Big thanks from a mere mortal 😄. Great discussion from both of you. In terms of the vows, I think it is a pre-requisite to follow the Path (any Path). Having this great resolve, right intention and commitment is necessary. I think Joseph mentioned this somewhere - on the night of Buddha's enlightenment, Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree and had this resolve not to get up till he got enlightened. He referred to another author's quote - "and the mind of the great being didn't move". I personally think that vow or the resolve is a pre-requisite. In terms of what to and how to remember, I just want to share my approach. I call them Smritis (to remember). I wrote some 6 Smritis and may be adding more. I keep remembering these or put in the WhatsApp status etc so that I am mindful of what's happening. I like Dan's question of how to remember all this in the midst of emotional chaos. Very valid question. Some techniques to remember the truths are important. Thanks again to you both. Peme got a great sense of humour too 😄
I would love to see her speak more about what helping really is…….and idiot compassion. So many think they are helping but they helping another destroy themselves.
People can walk on me but it's likely I won't know it. First have mercy on them for feeling this might bring them joy Second my reaction to the potential situation is all that matters.
It’s you being unfair to yourself and not compassionate towards yourself that is what makes you mad at the other person. Thus the step of turning your attention to how you are feeling physically and emotionally in the moment in a friendly-toward-self way as you impersonate a log. This takes enormous “self-possession”, turning concentration away from the supposed source of your rage and inward for a time.
And May I add that Pema has written countless books that have helped people greatly. My favorites were When Things fall apart, Start where you are, Taking the leap, No time to lose. When I was in a terrible situation, Buddhism helped me to be quiet. Even if I couldn’t find compassionate words, at least I learned not to react.
Thanks for sharing your journey with us!
Good Girl! 👌
Incidentally, are you VEGAN? 🌱
Thank you ❤
My favorite of her books is “Fail, Fail Again, Fail Better”. I found it a beautifully soft one-two punch to the ego.
I may add that she enabled the sexual abuse of children, shamed the victims, protected the abusers and then didn’t take responsibility for it and still doesn’t…so much for that Fierce Grace or whatever.
Pema Chodron is My North Star.😇💜
Love this.
You have your own north star 🌟
Your North Star’s career in life was to protect sex offenders and alcoholics.
Thank you Pema, Thank you Dan - Peace be with you!
Thanks for watching!
Pema is a National Treasure! Thank you. In a world of Spiritually arrogant people and Teachers her humility and humanness is so valuable. For anyone new to Pema I recommend any and all her books. So grateful to hear her health is better. ❤🎉
An International Treasure !!
@@susydyson1750Yes, thanks for correcting that...truly an International treasure 🎉
So is so special. Thanks for sharing!
@@ravenofthewild
🐟 25. THE ROLE OF FEMALES:
Women are fortunate because they are BORN with a job:
Daughter.
Wife.
Mother.
Females normally have no role in public life. Exceptions to this rule are relatively rare. For instance, women may work in the arts (singers, actors, and dancers, which often demand female players), or as maids or nurses, both of which are feminine duties, providing it has no detrimental effect on their PRIMARY function, as daughters, wives, and mothers.
So, a female’s fundamental role is to serve her MASTERS (any man in her family circle), even from a relatively young age, by performing domestic duties and raising her children. Barren women (heterosexual or otherwise) are extremely unfortunate, but can still devote their lives to serving their husband, father, grandfather, uncles, or in the event that none of those men are extant, adult male cousins.
Studies have shown that the more a woman deviates from this innate societal function, the less she is fulfilled. The phrase, “Cat Lady”, says it all.
As a general rule, women should be protected in the home, and never wander-out alone. They should FULLY cover their bodies in the presence of post-pubescent males outside the family circle. Even the prostitutes in some nations wear veils in public, even if out of fear of reprisal.
Having lived the eremitic life of a monastic priest for a few decades, I can attest to the importance of keeping one’s home clean and tidy. It is obvious to me that housekeeping is very much a full-time occupation, and that if I were to neglect my domestic chores, my health and comfort would greatly diminish. As would be expected of a person in my position, I follow a strict diet and am obsessive in regards to hygiene. Without a spouse, the onus is on me to maintain my residence in a prim and proper manner, even though it results in me spending less time teaching religion as a member of the Holy Priesthood (The World Teacher, in my particular case). Therefore, the role of a housewife is of PARAMOUNT importance, and must never be discounted by anybody, particularly feminist ideologues. The following chapter deals with feminism.
The ONLY reason I have resided alone for most of my adult life is due to the fact that there is a severe scarcity of decent women in my country, and indeed the entire world, what to speak of holy and righteous women. Unfortunately, few women, particularly in the more affluent nations, any longer receive adequate training in the connubial arts. In my former marriages, I was forced to perform most household chores.
In recent centuries, due to various factors (FEMINISM, in particular), women have become so degraded, that is it practically impossible to find an example of an ideal woman. Therefore, in order to reference examples of such a woman, one is forced to refer to figures from ancient myths.
Mariam, the mother of Lord Jesus Christ, and Devī Sītārānī, the wife of Śri Rāja Rāma, King of Ayodhya, are the epitome of womanhood, and ought to be the role models for each and every girl born on this planet. That is assuming, of course, that those two women were, in actual fact, the gentle, refined, humble and submissive goddesses they were portrayed to be in the archaic scriptures.
Obviously, this teaching receives an ENORMOUS amount of scorn, contempt and derision from a certain proportion of women (and also many "men"), but that is perfectly fine, because, such foolish feminists are destined to die lonely and alone, with no family surrounding them, and hopefully not transfer their adulterated genes to forthcoming generations.
In some locations in the world, STRAY COWS freely wander the urban streets, displaying their teats.
Similarly, in most locations, women wander the dangerous streets alone or in groups, displaying their bosoms and other bodily parts.
Such loose women are no better than STRAY COWS.
The TRUTH is very difficult to accept, right, Slave?
“Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the TRUTH.”
Siddhārtha Gautama (AKA The Buddha),
Aṅguttara Nikāya 3.131 (Paraphrased).
Paṭicchanna Sutta
“...encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.”
*************
“Yet women will be saved through childbearing, provided they continue in faith and love and holiness, with modesty.”
*************
“Women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says.”
St. Paul of Tarsus,
Titus 2:4-5.
1 Timothy 2:15.
1 Corinthians 14:34.
Great great Master showing herself as a simple nun. She is simply amazing , humble, wise❤❤❤❤ thank you so so much
Love this interview and woman.
She's the best!
I think that “putting others above our own needs” is generally unhealthy. Maybe it’s a good practise for people who have practised being selfish the majority of their lives but for someone like myself who put everyone else’s wants before my own needs and ended up burning out and getting panic attacks, it’s been a necessary process to learn how to listen to my inner guidance and honour my own needs ❤ my devotion is to doing my inner work for “the highest good of all” and the “all” is an understanding (experiential deep knowing) that when I heal myself, I’m healing the world because we’re all connected ❤
I agree. It does no one any good to put one's self last. I burned myself out on that. Got very exhausted & came down with all kinds of chronic woes. Now I'm highly agitated & turning into a bitter old hag, griping & lashing out in explosive anger. It's very hard to be kind when you feel physically, mentally & emotionally tortured. I was a big- hearted, sensitive giving & loving human being who was taking care of everyone but myself.
We are all on the journey of figuring it out! Thank you for sharing your own insight, we truly value it.
@@lynne3989 Buddhism is said to be the Middle Way. I find that altho that is a philosophical stance based on samadhi realization,, holding both relative and ultimate views of reality simultaneously, still, on the ordinary level of ordinary reality, it is also the Middle Way. Sometimes we have difficulty seeing which way that is, but when it comes to a point like this, it does NOT mean that you put yourself last. "If Momma ain't happy, nobody is happy." So self-care and self-understanding is important from the beginning. That is what meditation is, self-care.! Joy just comes out of contentedness with the inside and the outside appearance. You can't help others if you haven't taken care of your own trips first. Venerable Ani Pema speaks of this when she speaks of staying still and just relaxing into it. Being still, listening, staying steadily at the heart center and moving out from there. I have also found it very helpful sometimes to yell "Fuck you!" with all my righteous indignation! into the listening silence of the empty living room! Then I feel fierce and capable and I can't help laughing . The ridiculousness of situations just breaks open. The appearance of the moment and my stance in it disappears into laughter.
I think core to this concept of taking care of someone is that our person ecology is taken care of first with establishment of strong boundaries. The boundaries don’t need to be so strong that they are reactive. But when our personal ecology is well-maintained by ourselves, we know what we can give which does not deter from ourselves and we know what our boundaries are which is a part of we know what we can give.
Finally someone one said what I thought when first heard it, because there are people who want others to alter truth for their needs, alter what others want for their needs
Pema has saved my life many times. She embodies the teachings and is a boddisatva. Her presence and voice is so kind and caring and humane. I love you, Pema. Thank you for all you have done.
She's the best.
Watching this on 7/7/24. I can’t do anything else. I took the bodhisattva vow more than 20 years ago and am trying to reconnect with that now.
Reminds me of a movie I saw about the black movement for equality in America (I’m in Australia) and the black men and women went into the cafes, buses, everywhere there was segregation, sat down and refused to move. They got spat on, kicked, abused and they stood their ground without reacting, without violence. And they soon after won ❤ Love eventually wins.
Another note, one of the first spiritual lessons I adopted was self- responsibility- being responsible for your own reactions, wounds, sensitivities, hurts and dealt with them first before ever bringing any issues up with other people. It has been the forefront to my healing/awakening journey. ❤
Yes. First real lesson in my own spiritual learning was indeed personal responsibility. Thanks 🙏
Wow, thank you for sharing your story.
Absolutely 💯 perfect!! So exquisitely and directly said! ❤🎉❤🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
That was practicing MLK's non-violent approach, that he got from Ghandi. Yeah, it's powerful.
Many, many thanks for this thoughtful interview with a teacher who continues to make a big difference in my life. 🙏📿
We're so glad you enjoyed it, thanks for your feedback!
dhamma:
the Pāli cognate of “dharma”. However, in this case, it invariably refers to the teachings of Gautama Buddha, rather than the eternal law (“sanātana dharma”, in Sanskrit). In this book, it is used in the former sense, that is, of “holy and righteous concepts and deeds”. Therefore, the term “Buddhist dhamma/dharma” is somewhat nonsensical, since dhamma/dharma is fundamentally non-sectarian.
Despite being the most atheistic human being to have ever existed, I often PRAY that I am not in the process of consuming a meal whenever I hear a Buddhist monk or lay teacher referring to his or her lecture as being a “dhamma talk”. If you have carefully read the entirety of this Holy Scripture, “F.I.S.H”, and you have listened to many Buddhist sermons, you may have already guessed the reason for my fervent prayer. This is because the assertion that the overwhelming majority of Buddhist monks are teaching authentic dharma is so excruciatingly cringe-worthy and laughable, I am genuinely fearful of choking on my food upon hearing such silly claims!
First of all, the founder of Buddhism himself, Siddhārtha Gautama was hardly a paragon of virtue, having abandoned his family in order to become a mendicant monk, being an animal-abusing carnist, and encouraging females to become loose women (so-called “nuns”). In my half a century of life, I have only ever encountered one or two Buddhists who adhered to (actual) dharma, so in that sense, they were factually SUPERIOR to Gautama himself! For instance, the abbot of the largest Buddhist society in my homeland, Australia, believes that it is dharmic (legitimate) for men to insert their reproductive organs inside the faeces holes of other men, and of course, like his idol, Gautama, he is a murderer of poor, innocent, defenceless animals, and a filthy feminist. Furthermore, despite being an indigenous Englishman, and a graduate of one of the most prestigious universities on earth, University of Cambridge, he is entirely unable to coherently speak his native tongue! Should not a supposed “spiritual leader” be an exemplar in at least his own language?
Of course, no human being (including so-called “Avatars”) who has ever lived was morally perfect, but those who claim to be spiritual masters ought to be beyond reproach in respect to their own ethical practices. In the aforementioned case, Gautama should have returned to his family as soon as he understood the immorality of his actions, just as I, when I began adhering to dharma, repaid two persons from whom I had stolen goods and cash. Furthermore, assuming that Gautama was really a carnist (and knowing the typical diet of Bhārata, it would be safe to assume that he was at LEAST a lacto-vegetarian, and therefore an animal-abusing criminal), he was certainly sufficiently intelligent to understand that it is unnatural for an adult human to suckle the teats of a cow or a goat, and that human beings are fully herbivorous. Otherwise, how could he possibly be considered a member of the priestly class of society (“brāhmaṇa”, in Sanskrit) if he was not able to even comprehend some of the most basic facts of life? Make no mistake, carnism (see that entry in this Glossary) is a truly abominable, horrendous, wicked, hateful, evil, immoral, sinful, demonic ideology, as is feminism and unlawful divorce (in the case of Prince Gautama, the abandonment of his wife and son would be considered an act of divorce).
When a so-called Zen Buddhist priest asks another MALE so-called Zen Buddhist priest (as occurred in a video interview I just watched on the Internet), "Do you and your husband have any kids?”, one can be fully assured that the lowest point in the history of humanity has been reached. The fact that both the aforementioned so-called priests are American men, is not coincidental, since the most decadent religionists seem to be of Western/first-world origin. I don't believe I have come across a single Western Buddhist monastic who is not at least slightly left-leaning (“leftism” being a common term in the English-speaking world for “adharmic”).
I'm sooo grateful for this interview, Dan. Pema Chodron offered me life-saving teachings when I was very sick and depressed many years ago. She's such a genuine, powerful, loving, and humble teacher. Joseph Goldstein was my first dharma teacher - also wonderful. Dan, I resonate with your sincere, no BS interview style - so much more trustworthy than anything fawning. Heartfelt thanks!
We're so grateful for the impact and you sharing! Thank you for watching.
Peace Love Kindness Respect, the more you give the more you get. Start with yourself because you deserve it 💖 🙏
Love this!
Skillful means.
When Garchen Rinpoche gave us the Boddhisattva Vow, we had to visualize the people we love & feel that feeling within.
Then we had to visualize a person we intensely disliked, and generate the same amount of love for them.
It melts the ice block in our hearts.
In 12-step recovery we have to pray for the people we resent.
Transforming, healing, and neutralizing negative, traumatic events, is work. It demands diligence and gentleness too.
Almost twenty years ago a coworker gave me “Don’t bite the hook” by Pema Chodron and that was my introduction to Buddhist thinking. Eventually I got to a dharma group and on that first day a monk was there and people were taking refuge vows. Boy, did I not know what I was getting into! 😊I still struggle daily with not saying the angry, sarcastic, snippy thing, but at night I have a place of meditation and calm to return to. Thank you, Pema and so glad to see that you are looking well!
We are familiar with fighting the sarcasm, thank YOU for sharing!
Thank you for sharing. Your comment was helpful to me. I struggle with my anger due to childhood traumas, but I appreciate you mentioning that you're constantly working on yourself and you go back to meditation at night for your calm.
Thank you for bringing Pema to us. Your questions were excellent and really helped to clarify the Bodhisattva vow. Very inspiring!
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you 🙏
You’re sp welcome 😊
13:56 ~ radical responsibility. 100% accountable for your own emotions ~ for your own mind.
I was listening to Pema's video podcasts and noticed this at the end so decided to watch. I enjoyed this so much...your interview with her was excellent. Thank you. So now I've subscribed to 10% Happier, as well!
Welcome aboard! We're so grateful to have you.
Grateful. Amazing. Radical.
I will sit the the suffering within myself so that I can sit with the suffering of others - I translated that as ❤❤
So good!
Giving and receiving are the same.
As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our own way.
🙏♥️☮️
Love this!
Pema is beautiful. Her books have made a profound difference on my journey. She is so down to earth, and kind. I adore her. 😇 And is there anything else you wish to say?
We agree!
So glad someone gave me one of her books years ago. I have several now, and they are all worth owning.
Yes!
Pema Chodron is so real and down to earth. I read many of her books and hold them dear. Like many, her teachings get me through hard times. So grateful the world has someone like her. Thank you Pema.
I just loved this interview view with pema chodron. She is the epitome of wisdom imho. I will go over this many times and glean over the nuggets she has shared. Thank you Jordon. You are a great interviewer. 🙏. The end was brilliant.
Thanks for your feedback!
Yes I concur whole heartedly - great interview. Very generous (from each other), much gentleness with strength, Loving, deep insight, honesty, wisdom and so very humorous too!! Thank you 🙏 xx
Pema is such a beautiful person. So grateful for her.
We agree!
Thank you Pema for going on to speak to us through youtube. Love and blessings to you.
Thank you for joining!
Ever since I read When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron, she has been a big help in starting my meditation and way of seeing life. If we start every day with the first principle non harm, what then must we do? Well-- over 2500 years people have been saying what works via the 4 Noble Truths. I'd love to see 10% interview teachers in shorts format to speak about how they cope with genocide, climate chaos, overpopulation, migration-- the whole project of finding out there are no others. Calm joy is at the center of each of us, if we can bear sitting in silence to find out. I think this meditation is a construct of people moving all day, and vast periods of boredom. Today I think our devices make sitting and being bored so difficult. And if we can't stand being bored, can we cultivate a mind full of peace?
Thanks for sharing!
What a wonderful, witty, down to earth teacher she is ❤
There's a huge difference between helping someone from a place of confidence, self love and a familiarity with their suffering, and doing it to look good or numb out from my own issues.
It can be subtle, especially if a person has never stopped to look at why they do what they do. It gets easier!
That's reassuring! Thanks for taking the time to share.
I have often reached out to Pema Chodren’s teachings, she is a true light 💫
Greg Boyle is also a an incredible spiritual being whom exudes love and compassion.❤️
Yes!
My personal vocabulary has been upgraded as a result of this marvelous interview: "Positive selfishness, cheezie upward spiral, and toxic generosity" are now added. Long a follower of the teachings of Pema, and a new devotee of Ten Percent Happier . . . this is a very good morning. Thank you most genuinely. Oh and I want to add one more thing. Ten years ago I became a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor. In the State of Oregon, self-care is an ETHICAL MANDATE of licensure for this discipline. This has since stuck with me that I cannot teach what I do not know and demonstrate.
What a compliment. Thank you so much for watching and supporting us!
Pema is such a beloved teacher for so many of us, and we are so lucky that she's alive while we are. And the interviewer is so astute, aware and intelligent with his questions and perceptions. I really enjoyed listening to these two discourse. Thanks 10% Happier !!
Thank you for watching!
Hope you get Pema & Greg Boyle together to interview!! That would be phenomenal
A Super Bowl of guests! Great idea!
OMG YES❤
I love Pema but the first thing that came to me when I saw the title is that true happiness. cannot be the result of a strategy, that all strategies are limited.
You don't need to know anything or do anything in order to Be and Beingness is where it's at 😊
My heartfelt gratitude to you for this discussion. I consider Pema Chodron to be one of my teachers. This has been so helpful.
This is so helpful. I look forward to my continued journey in Buddhism and mindfulness.
My first introduction to Buddhism was coming up on her book, when things fall apart. That book saved my life, literally. It's crazy bc I never knew Pema was a female. I'm even more intrigued by her and her teachings of Buddhism. Personally it's something about a female guru/spiritual mentor that motivates me even more.
Lastly, I both appreciate and adore her personality. And the human-ness of her. Her sharing the short story about her argument with her daughter was very relatable and profound bc she's so smart, calm and mindful that one would easily perceive Pema as perfect. Her admitting that she's not, but still allowing herself some loving kindness was really awesome. This was a wonderful interview and I'm glad my spirit guides me to this video.
Such a great discussion.Pema is sooo beautiful ! Thank you for this Dan! Highly recommend!!
Thank you for this interview 🙏
Thanks for joining!
A loving soul with beautiful, peaceful energy. Wonderful interview , questions and insights from you Dan. First time here on your channel 🙏. 🥰. 🕊️
Thank you for joining! We hope you'll come back for more episodes!
Marvellous~Light of Peace, Hope, Hope, Hope to All❤️🕊
Thank you Dan, for this heart-warming interview with Pemba Chodran. She is such a graceful and evolved Bikkuni & you were so intuitive in asking the right questions to clarify how we can grasp the concepts of the Bodhisattva vow. 🙏
Thanks for watching!
Thank you for these great conversations ❤god bless you all
Our pleasure!
Thank you - great wisdom🙏❤️
You are so welcome, we're grateful you watched!
Sending gratitude from a Daoist monastery near Seattle (USA)!
Thank you for joining!
Sorry to spam your comments, Dan. Here’s some extra teachings. I hope they’re helpful to anyone curious. I took the Percepts / Bodhisattva Vow over zoom with Jetsumna Tenzin Palmo in 2021 during the pandemic. I just emailed her. I never expected her to email me back truly. At the time I had no idea what Buddhism was. I watched a Dharma Talk on UA-cam. I emailed her. A week later, I got up at 4:30 AM. We did it over zoom. Best thing ever did for myself.❤❤❤
Let loving kindness and compassionate understanding be your motivation 🙏💖🙏
Love this!
Love the sense of humour. 😅 It really helps to lighten the "serious" topic and understand the profound-ness. For me, it also helped to embrace it. The power of oneness. A beautiful day for you = a beautiful day for me, and viseversa.
Glad you enjoyed it!
That was very good because it dealt with a tough challenge and how to work through it on the spot. Good job Dan and Pema, I say!! Thank you for this conversation! Substantial and important discussion!! for all of us! Your last question, Dam Harris, re women!! YES!! I had much resistance towards not putting yourself first for women and I am one. First we have to become whole beings, embracing both aspect of ourselves - both men and women... and then we will be better Bodhisattvas.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing.
I feel sometimes what is missing in those teachings or the teachers forget to explain is that: Understanding is transformative. The more we do work on ourselves and dark aspects with no judgment as Pema says, the more the conditioning starts to unravels and we start to understand why we have done what we have done in the past - how the survival game has been set up. It is about survival and I think both the understanding and the acknowledgement of survival are two very important aspects of the work within. Once we start seeing our dark side little by little, the pattern starts to unravel and we develop an understanding and through that understanding we are then able to help and empower others so they maybe free and not dependent on us. Also another point missing and I know there are the brahma viharas... but still loving our own "ego' unconditionally so it may feel safe to do the work. This will also help and eventually accelerate the unravelling and we are then able to see the whole pattern of survival that we have created and start forging new pathways that are supportive of our oneness and of our diversity by teaching the principles in an effective way, where everyone is able to know them and apply them to their uniqueness but creating that better version of who they are... It could be also said, it is like dying in this reality when we are able to unravel the whole pattern. A new human is then manifested so to speak and there maybe a shift in the whole planet. when enough critical mass transforms..... That is what I see and understand. And living life will become totally new.
Pema is amazing! thank you for this
Pema Chondron has inspired me since I first read "When Things Fall Apart" on the beach in 1999.
That book was epic for many of us!
When you get upset, look at the tattoo!
That's the everpresent reminder!
Yes!
Thank you Ani Pema La and Mr Dan 🙏🙏💐💐👏👍
This was very enlightening, pun intended. This was my introduction to the lovely Pema. I thank my algorithm angel for showing me this video which answers some of my recent questions. At 41:00 ish - 44:00 when Dan asks (major paraphrase) how can the average person remain focused on compassion as their north star with the world pulling at our egos and desires? And Pema answers by reflecting back to the Vow, or in other words intention setting as a daily (or hourly!) practice and then self-evaluating later, with self-compassion (and humor!) Very good practices. And very clear instructions!! I'd like to add something that has been helping me. It's not new to the world, but bears repeating to answer their important question. One answer is the identity we assume. I have been consciously shifting my identity to the broadest possible -- I'm just a lifeform on the planet along with all the other organisms -- and as much as I can truly live in that mindset, i feel it becoming easier and easier to make choices that benefit all life. To have my thoughts shaped by compassion. My interactions, my smiles, then energy I share... all genuine but shifted to empower others rather than trying to "get" something as I go through life. And the peace that now often comes to me is a beautiful relief after my first 50 years swirling in huge reactions. Their clarity inspired me to share a bit of my own, such as it is. To me, I have come to define spirituality as inclusivity. This was a lightbulb moment when writing about world peace for my dad's memorial service. He was a theologian particularly focused on peace (and particularly in the Middle East. I wish his influence had spread farther sooner, but I'm on it, Dad.) I'm Praying for all beings to widen the circle of their identities.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you so much. Such an important interview reminding us of why we take the vow, why and how we can take actions in these very troubled times, and to be gentle with ourselves when we goof up.
Such a great reminder to us too!
I have always loved Pema Chodron, and Dan, your excellent sense of humor meshed perfectly with hers, which I hadn't seen her show until today. She lives in the same center that a friend of mine, Konchog Norbu, lives in, and he's the funniest monk I know, so it does my heart good to think of him having the opportunity to crack jokes with Pema on a daily basis. (To be honest, Konchog is the only monk I know, but you get the point.) Also, your app is totally saving my ass right now. Thank you, so much.
Thanks for sharing your stories! We love her.
Thank you! For the hour and 13 minutes of peace. To sit with friends. So thankful for this sangha. So far from living in total equanimity but so thankful that there are beings on this earth who strive towards this and who actually have accomplished it. Shanti peace Thank you for reminding us of the potential...... For the support for the knowledge
Thank you for the generous feedback!
Surely our own needs MUST be a top priority, then we are in a much better position to help others, because we are then able to operate at our fullest potential...
Thankyou both for your clarity & lightness....I too like 'the cheesy upward spiral.'⭐🌸😊🌸⭐
Thank YOU for watching and for your support!
I am 71 and been in and out of cultish spiritual practice, a materially successful career, alcohol abuse, self absorption, pleasure seeking and I am I feel like I have got nowhere. Listening Pema helps but also shows me want I should have been.
Countless are sentient beings I vow to liberate. Endless are afflictions I vow to eradicate. Measureless are the Dharmas I vow to master. Supreme is the Buddha way I vow to obtain. Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa 🙏🙏🙏
So we must be sure to love ourselves first so we can love the other.
Thank you ❤
Thank you!
It’s about control. Getting triggered and wanting the source to stop triggering us. However going inside ourselves and realizing we want our fear to stop, then reminding ourselves we aren’t unsafe in the moment we can redirect our thoughts and reempower ourselves.
Interesting that she talks about the importance of breaking habits. Im reading Joe Dispenza atm and doing his meditations for exactly that...its challenging but I am seeing results.
I follow Tibetan Buddhism and admire this wonderful Nun. 🙏
Thanks for sharing your insight!
This podcastshowed up in my feed today and the timing was spot on!❤
We're so glad!
I Vow to work on myself in order to help other people🙏🏾💕
Love this!
Pema is a gift
She is!
Extraordinary talk , learn so much to continue my practice. Thanks
Thank you for joining!
Delightful interview, thanks so much. Pema Chodron's teachings are enormously helpful to me, and it's always good to listen in again.
Our pleasure!
Very helpful thank you!
You're welcome! We're so glad.
Yes I stayed listening Thankyou
A specialised teacher 😊
Thanks for listening!
Thank you so much for this interview. Took some notes! Love Pema and her wisdom so much. Could listen to her for hours. Could have listen more of your conversation too! That was really great. A delight! I go back to "When things fall apart" and "Fail, Fail Again, Fail Better" from time to time, and to those who haven't read them, I highly recommend them! Regards from Paris!
Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for sharing.
Bless you and thank you Tsunmala
Thank you for your support!
Priceless, thanks so much ~🌟
Thank you for watching and your support!
Enjoyed your conversation. Dan, you are a lucky man. She is an icon. You are not. She is a rock star. You did well enough … and I thank you both for the joy of listening to your conversation.
Thank you for your support!
She is definitely NOT a mere mortal lol. 😇😇😇. How blessed, lucky 🍀 are we to be here on the planet, at the same time as her 🙏💚💚💚. & ALWAYS HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR 👏👍👍👍
Humor is such a precious gift of hers!
I'm a huge fan of Pema's perspectives!
To me, what's great is that she IS a mere mortal - just like Buddha was a mere mortal, and as are we!
And the fact that mere mortals are capable of cultivating such awareness - is powerfully exciting!
... and challenging.... ...and loving... 🌟❤🌟
Beautiful simple, clear and frankly super refreshing❤️🙏🏼❤️😘🌞
Thank you so much!
Thanks! I love Pema, have been listening to her, reading her books for years. I wasn’t familiar with this podcast or you Dan and when I opened up UA-cam this video was recommended! So of course I clicked play now! I also subscribed because I am interested in who else you interview. BTW, I have a Tshirt with the saying of the bumper sticker 😍
We're so glad to have you aboard! Thank you for the feedback.
❤Thank you both❤
Thank you for watching!
❤ Positive Selfishness ❤
✨️ Win Win for all ✨️
We agree!
Dan you’re doing such admirable work ~ Pema is a blessing. I’d like to add I have not seen Dan’s face since ABC, he has a glow of happiness. He’s doing such powerful work. Another blessing in this world.
Wow, thank you for such generous feedback. We'll make sure Dan knows the glow is strong!
Wow. I need this. I bit the hook while I was watching! 🙄🤣
Thanks for joining!
Pema is awesome!!!
She IS! Thanks for sharing!
Just after you were born, no matter how bad the circumstances, a person, or people, gave you some measure of loving kindness, some amount of compassion. If not, you would not be alive now. That was your introduction to life, the implicit knowledge that loving kindness and compassionate understanding are indispensable for human life to exist.
The foundation of human life, therefore, is loving kindness and compassionate understanding.
As we age we are taught otherwise by damaged people. 💔
Their misdirection is rarely intentional. They are simply sick due to their own early learning experiences/trauma.
Once this is understood, we can seek help to dismantle the wrong thinking that we were taught and insert, through daily practice, right thinking, and thereby right actions.
The teacher that I have learned from is Thich Nhat Hahn, and the practitioners that learned from him before me.
weezi-💜🙏💖🙏🤠
Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you Pema.
Feeling what I feel = tending to my own portion of the garden, of doing my share of the tasks, instead of forcing it on someone else to bear, to work through (a game of hot potato?).
If I think of it that way and if I never practice, get my own hands dirty, then when there's no one left to take on my emotional responsibilities or bear some of it, I'll be weak as a kitten.
Such hard work, but so worth it. Sometimes remembering is easy, sometimes it's like another human being enters my body and erases all of my experience.
But I keep at it.
Curious to see how it all turns out.
Thanks for sharing!
The Venerable, wanna learn about Compassion, you came to the right place
Thank you for the upload!
Thank you for watching! We're grateful for your support.
Yes -- thank you both, so much for Being, in the world, with us, in this kind, wise way. Dan, great interviewing and commentary, Pema, one of my favorite mentors. An epiphany (aha!) of mine, was realizing I can't offer "selfless service" (a grand idea) apart from Knowing my (the) self, my Self (the work), and coming to the realziation, "I Am, That I Am." I and other are one, how I treat either, impacts both
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We appreciate your personal insight! Thank you for sharing.
Great interview, thank YOU both!
Our pleasure!
absolutely beautiful interview with so many great nuggets. thanks so much...we will get there folks!
We WILL! Thank you for your support and feedback.
Big thanks from a mere mortal 😄. Great discussion from both of you. In terms of the vows, I think it is a pre-requisite to follow the Path (any Path). Having this great resolve, right intention and commitment is necessary. I think Joseph mentioned this somewhere - on the night of Buddha's enlightenment, Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree and had this resolve not to get up till he got enlightened. He referred to another author's quote - "and the mind of the great being didn't move". I personally think that vow or the resolve is a pre-requisite.
In terms of what to and how to remember, I just want to share my approach. I call them Smritis (to remember). I wrote some 6 Smritis and may be adding more. I keep remembering these or put in the WhatsApp status etc so that I am mindful of what's happening. I like Dan's question of how to remember all this in the midst of emotional chaos. Very valid question. Some techniques to remember the truths are important.
Thanks again to you both. Peme got a great sense of humour too 😄
Love this!
Such a beautiful ending! Thanks for a great video. You are both gifts to the universe.
Wow, thank you!
This is the most helpful thing ever. Thank you.
We are so grateful for the impact and for your support!
I would love to see her speak more about what helping really is…….and idiot compassion. So many think they are helping but they helping another destroy themselves.
We'd love to hear that too!
Thank you. I read a couple of your books! Jeff
Wonderful!
People can walk on me but it's likely I won't know it.
First have mercy on them for feeling this might bring them joy
Second my reaction to the potential situation is all that matters.
Love this!
2024 turned out to be a dumpster fire of a year, but we can all vow to do our best to make it better.
It’s you being unfair to yourself and not compassionate towards yourself that is what makes you mad at the other person. Thus the step of turning your attention to how you are feeling physically and emotionally in the moment in a friendly-toward-self way as you impersonate a log. This takes enormous “self-possession”, turning concentration away from the supposed source of your rage and inward for a time.
Great insight!