5 Uncomfortable Truths about Losing Weight | Half of Carla
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- ❤5 Uncomfortable Truths about Losing Weight | Half of Carla
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When we're overweight we think everything will be better when we've lost weight. "I'll be happier when I'm skinny" used to be one of my mantras. As someone who's los 180 lbs, I wanted to share some of the uncomfortable truths about life after losing weight.
As always I am not a medical professional/therapist and you should always seek medical advice prior to making changes to your diet. The content of this video is my experience only and in no way should be a replacement for professional advice.
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One horrible truth is how the dynamics of friendship change. How many preferred the you who hid in corners
Yikes, this. It’s disconcerting how some people seem to be threatened by others’ thriving and happiness.
Because when you're overweight it made them look better. Now the attention is on you
How did you loose the weight you did ? Congratulations on losing the weight you did !
I had the opposite, I lost friends as I gained weight. I was very fit all of my life, then became disabled and so stopped excersizing aged 19 and since have almost doubled my weight in 8 years. As a plus size woman though, I have many new friends (had for a few years now) and I'm now beginning a weightless journey. I do wonder if I am successful in loosing the weight, how my now friends will react having only know me to be very overweight. My partner has been with me since I was thin and healthy aged 19, and stayed with me throughout my gaining weight, so it will also be interesting to see how he reacts to this (hopeful) change of becoming slim again.
Thank you for this comment.
I have gained 50 pounds and I am definitely treated differently. It’s sad.
Sending love you will lose it and also will know the good people after all this ❤
same. I don't feel the same either its hard to find cloths that are cute
How so?
yohimbine before walks really helps. And unlike caffeine, the body doesn't overcompensate for it over time.
I Gaines 150 pounds and yep
When others complement my 'new' body, I feel self-conscious. I remember a specific instance when after church, someone said to the Pastor, "Does she look great! She is so skinny!" I was so embarrassed. I started regaining weight. After a lifetime of large-ness, I was comfortable there. Being ignored is safe. I get it! Thank you for stating (what for many of us is) the obvious. We just don't know who to express it.
I actually struggle more being overweight. I feel like everyone is always internally judging me and thinking how fat I am. I want to lose weight, so I don't feel like my size makes people think negatively about me.
This is literally a child's mindset. Grow the hell up. Yeah, be embarrassed cause someone complements you, then regain weight cause you have no self-control and can't move on from a single interaction. Then you go online and try to blame the people complimenting you like they are the problem. Yeah, totally healthy way of behaving. At least you found some like minded individuals to pat you on the back for your garbage behavior.
I hate the sexual harassment i get when i am skinny & pretty. Men treat me like i am fresh meat for them to eat whenever they want. This makes them attempt to try to rape me or coerce rape me. Many pretty women experience this. They know what I’m talking about
Wow. I hope that someone is a person who knows you really well. I don't get how people who barely know/don't know you at all can speak to you like your their kid/significant other/long-time friend, etc. People aren't taught how to be polite anymore and think that they can talk any ole kind of way with total strangers/people not close friends. It really frustrates me. I consciously try to speak appropriately to people, based on how close I am to them. The general public is so worried about how other people talk with them that they don't notice that they have to be the ones that have to rein in their language towards others.
I see how people speak with each other at work. At times, they even exchange vulgarities. It's awful. I've been at my job about 7 months now & it's taken some time, but they seem to understand that they can't get away with speaking to me in the same tone. They are my colleagues, not my buddies from home.
The most uncomfortable truth I'm experiencing is from my BFF who has never had a weight issue and who eats whatever she likes but insists on sabotaging or derailing my weight loss efforts by offering sweets, bread, food when I've explained that I'm taking care of my health and being more mindful about what I eat. The other thing she does is insist that she's lost 'her eating buddy' and no longer 'recognizes' me. It pains me to realize that my friend my be feeling jealous of my commitment to myself and my health or that she feels that I will somehow 'compete' with her when I've reached my goal weight but I forgive her and understand that even those close to us are simply afraid of 'losing' us once our bodies change. Nevertheless, I keep pushing through and I am strong and the more weight I see coming off, the more determined I am to reach my goal.
that person is not your friend
Practice making some new friends, you might need them.
I can tell by your words that you are wise and committed to your highest good 😊 you don't have to let her go if you don't want to, but consider spending less time with her and getting closer to supporting friends. We are social creatures, and we are very influenced by the few people we spend the most time around, they better be on our side. You deserve people who genuinely want your highest good, over 'my eating buddy' ❤️
Stay on your path! Your health is more important than a friendship. Even though it’s sad. Maybe you can do fun outdoor activities. If she doesn’t support you make new friends. Maybe there is someone out there who could use an exercise buddy or a support buddy to loose weight. I hope your friend comes around! Good luck and hang in there!
I love this because you obviously looked way too deep into this and now think your friend is actually jealous. What a toxic mindset way to just immediately assume the worst of someone you're supposed to be friends with.
Holy cow, the part about grieving the years you spent being your own worst enemy 😣. Ouch, I felt that one. Living in Los Angeles, California where so many women waste their youth complaining and believing that they are fat when they are in fact, thin or healthy is time so wasted. I know so many women who grieve picking themselves apart and spending so much time thinking that they are unattractive because they don’t conform to a beauty standard. What a waste of time. I grieve any moment I spent not enjoying my life because I was being too hard on myself or self critical.
The greatest gift of turning 60 is no matter what I can no longer fit the standard beauty look. I love being healthy with my nature hair color, wearing what I want, trying lots of new things because nobody is paying attention. I am finally free at 60. How absolutely sad is that?
Wow, I don’t think that’s sad, I think that’s empowering.
its wired into your biology, theres no fix until you hormone levels go down
@@spikesgirl9371 I think of it as empowering - after holding loved ones' hands as they pass away, along with other life changes (including a 12-step group for food issues), I reached the IDGAF stage of what other people think of me.
⭐️⭐️⭐️I had an uncomfortable situation since I've lost 80 lbs. I had a new doctor rudely comment saying "...well you don't know what it's like to be heavy, so please don't act like you understand my situation. " I was shocked then assured them I had been heavy all my life until now. People make a lot of assumptions.
🌟I love these real talks. I held anger towards my parents for raising me obese but they're obese themselves so how could I truly expect someone to give me what they can't give themselves.
My parents are obese and raised me that way but oddly I’ve never held anger towards them about my own weight but actually theirs as I grew up scared of losing them. My sister on the other hand (the only skinny one in our family) holds a lot of anger towards them about MY health and childhood. I always remind her of exactly what you said “we can’t expect them to give me what they can’t give themselves.” I’m happy to report that we are all on track to get healthy as a family and I’m very excited and hopeful about it.
I agree I’ve always had that anger towards my parents for that. Apart from letting me getting obese from such a young age (around 8-9) they were/are the best parents I could ever ask for. But being obese absolutely ruined my teenage years and my early twenties and I resent them for it. Of course I could have lost the weight as a teen but I was never learnt not to over eat, they let me eat whatever i wanted when I wanted and went out their way to over feed me even though I was huge, food was a comfort for me I developed a massive binge eating disorder and I still struggle to this day with it (I’m 30 now).
Always interesting and analytical and thoughtful. Very educational. Thank you
24:06
Because no one should be having kids if they can't take care of them. That's the honest answer. But the grace you're giving them is commendable. It's kind of you.
I can’t let my childhood dictate my present. Teach yourself what your parents couldn’t and change your life to what you want it to be.
Being overweight is a good way to hide but not a great way to live. I lost a significant amount of weight several times. When I was young the attention freaked me out, when I was older that lessened but I did not know how to soothe myself without food and always slowly gained it back. This time will be the last time and my rate of weight loss is secondary to making sure I can handle it emotionally. I think I can. Thanks to you and your sister for being an inspiration!
🖤🖤🖤🖤
I can relate to the attention freaking me out. A man in my Sunday school class said in front of the entire class that it was a praise that I had lost so much weight.
It was not the only emotional trigger that led to me gaining most of the weight back, but it definitely made me feel self-conscious and even somewhat mortified.
I cognitively know he didn’t mean to negatively affect me, but emotionally it was hard to deal with.
I started gaining at the end of 2016 for a total of 50 pounds by 2020.
I am just now trying to move in a better direction.
I’m glad you mentioned the anger. The way men are nicer to me now versus actively ignoring me and treating me like a nuisance made me really angry and distrustful. I still struggle with that especially since I feel like my body fluctuates and I want to be with someone who likes me as my body changes since all bodies will change with age
I relate to those. I’m holding on tight to the men I was friends with before I lost the weight.
Same
It's sad when you realize most men don't think of women as people. Remember that if you ever feel bad about ignoring them to protect yourself.
You're receiving more respect in a sense. Same thing with men. When you lose your muscle mass, women don't notice you. Sub-consciously nobody wants an unhealthy looking sicklet. And we can't blame women or men for it, it's rooted in mating preference and it's natural. Going against nature is often a losing battle.
I think that's part of the reason I freely admit I don't like men as a group. I like my family members and friends, and I like my husband and his male family members, but the group in general gets side eye from me because I only realized after I lost weight, just how much men are raised to not like women who don't present as feminine ideals
My family is all obese and many of my coworkers are obese as well. In December 2023 I was 296 pounds, as of today I am 230 pounds. I went from a size 44 Mens pants down to a size 36 inch pants. Once my weight loss began to show, the reactions were at first very positive, but as I continue to lose weight the reactions from some are becoming envious and I know some people want to see me fail.
People sometimes get envious of what they feel they can't have. In your case, it's discipline. ❤ But keep it up, nothing improves your life like taking care of yourself.
Dont let them win, you are not a failure . You are getting great results
Good; if the crabs are trying to drag you down, that means your efforts are working.
Those I love the most are the ones that sometimes actively try to sabotage. That’s an uncomfortable truth
It’s the same for me☹️
Agree completely.
I agree. And I wish I knew why they try to do so.
What I have found is that strangers, people who don't know me at all, tend to be nicer to me at 190 lbs than they did at 260 lbs. I don't know if it's because of the way I look or have I changed the way I behave? I don't feel that I've changed, but perhaps I have. My journey did not start out as intentional. I literally thought I was having a stroke, went to the doctor, and it turns out that I was dangerously deficient in vitamin D to the point I was symptomatic. I also had crossed the line into type II diabetes and my cholesterol was high, but not too bad. Anyway when I started to eat a little better and supplement the vitamin D, I found that the weight just started to fall off. I then decided to take the whole process more seriously. I'm feeling much more healthy and am working to lose another 30-40 lbs. My weight loss has slowed, I'm attributing that to the stress of my long term partner having been diagnosed with a particularly aggressive cancer. But it is still moving in the downward direction so I've decided that I will be kind to myself and if I only lose a pound a month that's OK for now. Thank you for the inspiration, I know I've rambled a bit here, but taking away the idea that I need to grant myself grace is a reminder that I need right now.
This video made me cry. Life is hard. Weight loss is hard. Thanks for being so honest.
Yeah, it's simple but it's not easy. Oh well, bad hand dealt, can only play it to the best od one's ability. Keep it up bro, we'll get there eventually.
The prejudice in medicine is also profound. Years of multiple doctors being lazy and blaming weight for issues that were clearly not weight related. Yes, weight can create medical problems, especially over a long period of time, but they aren't the cause of everything. Also weary of unnecessary testing because of assumptions based on weight, when I have no symptoms and completely untreated to why I'm seeing the doctor in the first place. It's like they're looking for a way to blame me for their refusal to diagnose. Bias against women is bad enough, but being overweight makes it a lot worse.
My best friend had cancer twice because of this and passed away at only 38. It still makes me angry and upset now when I think about how traumatised she was by doctors constantly telling her everything was weight related, to the extent that she ended up needing a radical hysterectomy and a couple of blood transfusions at 30 after being told her late stage endometrial cancer was just heavy periods due to her weight. Later when she turned out to have metastatic brain cancer, she lived just 2 weeks after her diagnosis god bless her, after being shouted at at work for having falls and forgetting things. Never did any doctor get to the root of the obvious hormonal issues that meant she starved herself at times and somehow did a very physical job all day, and remained over 20st no matter what she tried. I absolutely abhor fat shaming so much….to me it’s almost as if when some kind of problem or vulnerability is physically evident, it’s perfectly okay to comment on it, while all the people with similar issues who manage to hide behind something else are given instant approval. She passed over 15 years ago now, and her compassion and acceptance of people who treated her with such little grace was incredible. On the flip side, when I had a substance issue and bowel cancer and was definitely somewhat below a healthy BMI, the doctors couldn’t praise my “healthy weight” enough. There’s something very wrong with this picture for everyone! I’m so sorry you went through this and I pray for a less judgemental, agendised, blame driven world 🙏🏻❤️
@@HotFlushSummer So sorry your friend went through such a painful journey. It is an all too familiar experience for so many women. Gyn pain is the most difficult thing get a doctor to take seriously. We're not "making it up", "lazy", "just fat", "looking for meds", "malingering", or whatever other nonsense incompetent, sexist practitioners want to invent.
Doctors blamed my weight, my mental health, and worse, much worse. Severe, debilitating endometriosis and adenomyosis made it excruciating to exercise about 30% of my life starting at age 12. That's not "just cramps". I pushed through (with some serious hate daggers in my eyes at the "just cramps" idiots most days), probably causing far more damage in the long run. Cortisol always a little elevated.... hmm.. can't imagine why... (sarcasm).
Finally had surgery at 39 (took that long to find a doctor that believed me and took me seriously). Some of the damage is permanent, non-repairable, but at least that part of me is no longer in constant flux of moderate to debilitating pain.
I'm lucky, no cancer, and alive to tell the tale, to encourage other women to not give up when the doctor blows them off, to empower other women with knowledge about their gyn health and bodies so they can be in control of their health.
@@kraznia I couldn’t agree more as someone just preparing for a gynae surgery. I know my current weight has to be connected to my hormones and as you say the cramps are absolutely a 10 to 11 on the pain scale. That’s awful you had endo for so long when it can do so much damage, I really feel for you. I was recently told I was too fat for a hysterectomy at a size 18 (or, incidentally, an incisional hernia repair in a different consultation which obviously isn’t getting smaller,) and that my only option was to go on Prostap for life, so basically a chemical castration. When she saw my face she immediately said she’d organise a second opinion for me. I’m in the UK so the tabloids are constantly blaming obesity on the collapse of the NHS, when in fact it seems to me they capitalise on women’s shame around their weight to save money by avoiding referrals. Anyway I’m sure we could go on and on about this subject!! Our hormones are inextricable from our weight in our case as women and it’s partly large fibroids making me look pregnant, I suppose I’m lucky in a sense that I’ve had so much wrong with me that I’ve been forced to learn the balance between assertiveness and deference when it comes to doctors and their egos. The best advice I can give anyone is to ask any doctor that refuses to send a woman for tests to make a note on the computer that they personally have refused to refer them for necessary and preventative tests. It can very quickly change their tune. Good luck on your journey and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through so much for so long just to be taken seriously 🙏🏻💕
@@HotFlushSummer Um, how can any legit medical practitioner suggest using Prostap for more than 6 months? You could likely end up with osteoporosis. Anything longer than 6 months would require regular DEXA scans to check your bone density. To contemplate that is madness. It can be the right short-term medication for certain conditions and cancers, but it is a very serious medication with some hefty side effects to consider. I was on another brand of the same med pre-op, but only for five months. You are wise to push for a second opinion. I wish you luck in finding the best solution for your needs.
I only got medical treatment for anything when I lost weight. Before, no matter the issue, I was told it was my weight.
All I can say is, I no longer huff and puff when I work in the yard or do anything and that feels great.
I wish more women would call themselves beautiful. We're all taught that we should hate ourselves and its so sad.
I hope I will encourage others to do the same without shame x
A different approach is not not value beauty as a trait as much. I don't know but personally I am tired of everyone demanding beauty of every woman. There are so many amazing traits to have and cultivate, why is beauty forced on women? Just another perspective, I guess.
@@JustAnEmptyCageGirltrue. Beauty is a virtue but it's not THE virtue. Everyone should try to be presentable but if you don't care to put in the work to be beautiful then DON'T! It's downright hideous when charitably homely women act like others should think they're beautiful. It's like skinny guys acting like they should be seen as fit.
women are very competitive with one another too which is sad
The loose skin triggered all the body loathing I had worked to overcome when i lived in my fat body. Only skin removal gave me peace.
May I please ask: was it effective, from an external /visual perspective (sounds like it was very effective for you internally / in your mind)?
I'm trying to lose 100 pounds and thinking that I'll also deal with loose skin makes me want to cry. I can't afford surgery, so I'll most likely just have to live with it. oof.. maybe it's just better to stay fat.
I am currently on my journey at 59 yrs old. I’m grieving time lost, but grateful I’m finally headed into the right direction after many years of yo-yo dieting with unsustainable weight losses. I have now lost 46lbs, 64 more lbs to go.
Amazing result!! Soon you'll be over half way!! x
I just started doing something about my extra hundred pounds that I've been lugging around for too many years. I just turned 57 and it's now or never. It's NOW or if not it may be too late if I keep putting it off. My right hip and my feet have been bothering me. Enough is enough. I have to remind myself that I'm in control NOT the damn food!!! Congrats to you!!😊
God bless you. I fully understand the mourning for lost time. I ruined my late 20s and early 30s and squandered that time eating instead of finding a partner. Now I’m so much less desirable as a potential partner, regardless of the fact I’m now a healthy weight.
Keep going!! At first I was upset with myself for not doing this in my 20s, but as I get stronger and my clothes get looser (I've decided not to weigh myself this journey), I keep thinking of how thankful future me is going to be for the work I'm putting in now. Future you is thanking you ❤
It's had to describe eh Carla... I'm unbearably PLEASED AND HAPPY with my major weight loss, but sometimes it's scary to be in a small body... I know what you mean about feeling delicate or frail. It's lovely and exhilarating in so many many ways.... but sometimes I feel scared and shocked and like ... I dunno... hard to stay grounded sometimes when I feel so light.
Don't mean to complain... but its hard to find people who understand. Therapists say they understand, but I haven't found anyone who can really help with the occasional fear and insecurity around this.
You're definitely not alone on this.
Frail!! That’s exactly the word I was looking for!!
This gives me a perspective of what my cousin may be feeling. She was obese throughout her teenage years and moving to morbidly obese in her early twenties, so she got surgery, not sure which one and I’m not entitled to know and won’t ask. She was very sensitive about her weight loss, what people would say. I’m a bit older so I was observing these interactions with other cousins closer to her age. She’s in a better mental state. Focusing on academics and hobbies instead of constantly thinking of her body and weight.
I’m so glad this helped give that perspective, it can be challenging for us 🖤
✨️ I lost a lot of weight two years ago during a marriage crisis (I've gained some back and am still with my husband), and I was totally unprepared for the huge amount of sexual attention from men - both men I knew and complete strangers, some half my age! I'm sad to say I didn't know how to act with grace and demand respect. It was shocking to me to see I didn't even know how to talk to men without all that weight.
Yes, you ARE beautiful, and I'm happy to hear you say it !
You are beautiful. And it’s okay to admit it. That doesn’t make you vain.
I have battled my weight since my teen years and I'm in my late 60s now. It always amazed me how my losing weight would/could upset other women. I was the same person but didn't get treated that way. Thank you for your thoughtful observations Cara! You are a 🌟!
A few years ago, I went to work at FedEx and ended up losing 80 lbs. My own mother, who also struggled with weight her whole life, told me she was proud, but then would clearly be upset for a few days, or start making self-deprecating comments about how ugly she is. It breaks my heart
Not the trócaire box comment 🙈 wow that one has a few layers! I'm 50lbs down out of about 150 and already the shock and disbelief from others is proving difficult for me. Most people have been so respectful but ones who haven't, seem to stand out the most. There's so much more to unpack during this jouney than I ever realised! Thanks for sharing, I actually really enjoy this sort of video. ❤
I was 138kg last year. Im thin now, I lost it with regular fasting. I noticed when I was getting thinner and thinner I was noticing haters. My sibling who I dont talk to got soo jealous that she went on ozempic and told my mum to not tell me lol. I also noticed family members telling me stop losing weight no more etc. I had a goal in place and discarded that because of what they were convincing me to do.
Another thing ill mention is I hated getting the attention from family when I was losing the weight. Id purposely wear very baggy and loose clothing everytime I'd visit them on weekends so they don't see my body. The jealous sibling on ozempic was burning inside and it felt great for me and even more so because she never broke me.( she's a very bad person, and I've cut her out my life a while ago)
My brother and I live together. He made a comment that when I was 138kg and his friend was over said behind my back after me saying hello that wow shes put on soo much weight in few weeks etc. I felt soo angry and hurt inside when my brother told me that his friend said this. How dare he comment on my body back then!
What I've noticed the most is strangers are sooo nice to me. I get smiles and people conversate with me now.
I love my new body and lifestyle now as a healthy thin woman. I just hate that what I did for me and me only has brought on haters and jealousy.
Congratulations! That's a HUGE accomplishment. We're proud of you, well done ❤
When I lost weight years ago now (before PCOS made me gain it back… I’m working on losing it again now) I had friends and family say to me “it must be nice to lose weight without even trying” in a really salty tone as if I hadn’t been counting calories and exercising to get to where I was. That was the most infuriating thing for me back then, discounting all of the work I put in to feel better within myself.
Bro, some people act like I'm starving myself, and I'm like "Incorrect, I mean technically yes but no. I'm eating more and more frequently now, than when I was over weight, I just have better habits and nutritional preferences right now" others will be like "YOURE TOO SKINNY" Like, bro I get it, I look tiny in clothes. I'm 145-148 Lbs...If you check my Bmi, I'm on the high end of normal weight, and based on SOME scales I'm im like...0.05- 3 points away lbs away from my BMI being too high lmao. There will always be someone there to give you crap. Congrats on being able to lose weight with PCOS. That IS a difficult task. 💪
Backhanded compliments by jealous and insecure people who don't put the same effort to see how much it takes to change are the worst.
I've spent way too many years being at an uncomfortable weight. I need to lose at least 100 pounds and I've found you to be so inspirational! Thank you for sharing yourself with us. 🌟
You can do it!
LET’S GO YOU CAN DO IT
Carla I love your speaking voice , so soft and soothing.
Awe thank you xx
This one brought up so many feelings! I went from 262 lbs to 135 lbs and I have experienced pretty much all of these. I still feel a huge amount of shame for having been obese, so much so that I try very hard to distance myself from it and people who have met me since mostly don't know I used to be fat. I am afraid someone will figure it out if they see the tiny bit of loose skin that I am very lucky not to have more of. I just don't want to be thought of as a weight loss story. I don't know why it bothers me so much but it really does. Like you I'm a beautiful woman and I will say it but it's funny how someone else can call me beautiful and then be so offended if they hear me say the same thing about myself -- agreeing with them isn't allowed, we're supposed to deny it I guess. But I was so ugly for so many decades and now I'm beautiful, both are true, I don't see the point in pretending. I will say that I went through a phase of being treated better but not anymore, because I eventually settled back into my standoffish cold personality, I was bubbly and sweet for a while but after a lifetime of being treated with disdain, I kind of just found my way back without realizing it. Now no one talks to me because I'm so cold.
I understand that. I did the same thing. I think it’s because when you are losing you have a sort of euphoria. Once that journey is over, there is no goal left to meet.
💫 Grieving really resonates with me because how can one not grieve lost time or opportunities? One thing I am learning is to not be afraid to feel, and not to run from my feelings.
That’s the best thing you can do for yourself xx
You’re completely right on why it feels so uncomfortable and triggering for people to comment on how much weight you’ve lost. I’ve lost 40 lbs, have about another 20 to go, and this is so stupid but it feels like fear of those kinds of comments is holding me back. It does feel like they are judging the body you used to have and it’s not welcome. My body is no one else’s business but unfortunately people cannot see what you’ve been dealing with, all they can see is the outside and feel they have the right to say something. At my lowest weight I had so many comments on how great I looked and yet people didn’t know it was because I was going through so much stress and trauma that I had very little appetite. Of course after that restriction I had insane amounts of hunger and gained weight. Now carefully and with the help of counselling and compassion for myself it is coming off. Great suggestion on how to deal with comments like that, I will definitely keep that! Great video, thank you Carla!⭐️⭐️⭐️
What you have spoken about has hit a nerve. I, too, have hated comments about my weight. It’s a shame that people can be appreciated for who they are inside, but there is no point on wishing for something that will never happen.
I'm so with you on this!❤
I had some one comment that I managed to “keep it off”. Because it has been years. But, what they don’t realize, is that I float between 10-20 pounds off that mark. So, when I get a compliment, it feels (in my head) that I “really” should be at X and I am waaay bigger than I should be if I could have stayed the course. Yeah, I have reduced by about 80 pounds, but I really should be down 100 and at my goal.
If I can make a recommendation, as someone who has lost 95 and has about 30 to go, I find dressing down on those difficult days really helps. I try not to wear anything that accentuates or highlights my feminine attributes. I hope that helps. ❤
I had a friend that came from a completely normal weight family. She was the only one who was fat. She exercised all the time and ate very healthy, but she was still fat. I could never figure it out until I found out she had been sexually assaulted as a teenager. It was a shield. It made her feel safer.
Normal weight family + exercise + eating very healthy =/= fat. Something's not adding up here.
@@WhatIsMisophoniaTHAT'S the takeaway comment you have to offer?
@@callmekitto call it a question if you want; Are they saying this person was a secret eater or something?
@@WhatIsMisophonia again, the fact that that's your concern to crack the weight code about someone who was assaulted is weird
@@callmekitto Oh shut up. Maybe I just have issue with people who don't think their comments through.
🌟 I understand and agree with all of your points. I also grieve and wish that I could have dropped this weight earlier in life. BUT as you also said, reaching your weight goals is not a magic wand that fixes everything.
⭐️ 70 lbs in and a long way to go, thank you for the information and the inspiration ❤️
Listened for the 3rd time and had to leave a third comment. THIS is what I needed when I lost weight before and was lost. I didn’t realize the discomfort was to be expected and did not have a clue what to do with it!
⭐️⭐️ Love and appreciate your honesty on these hard hitting topics! I have experienced sabotage from so many of my loved ones....it's nice to remember that "no" is a complete sentence and they can't make me eat something I don't want! Thanks Carla! 🖤🤍⭐️
People don’t know what to say sometimes. I find the same regarding loss and grief.
I believe that others do and say inappropriate comments out of their owns fears and insecurities. Carla, you’re an amazing lady! ❤
What I’ve found is that as I lose weight, those things that were going on when I put that weight on revisit my thoughts. I end up reliving those things and resolving the issues. Sometimes I have to sit at a weight for a bit to get my head straight. And if I lose too fast, I end up revisiting it for far longer than if I was just going at it at a sensible pace…
It’s like the memories are stored as a chemical signature in those fat cells.
I had similar thoughts as well but brushed it aside thinking that maybe I am just overanalysing it. I am surprised to hear that you felt the same way too. Wow.
As a 37 male who has spent the bigger part of his life either overweight or obese, I feel for you, stranger, and everyone going through a similar journey of self-betterment. Being self-aware is a double edged blade, but as long as we remember to be kind to ourselves, we'll weather these storms. Good luck! ☕
I’m 33, recently lost around 80 pounds. And the people in my life call me sexy in a sort of encouraging and sort of mocking way. It’s hard to describe, but I’m sick of hearing it. Y’all were never calling me sexy in any way shape of form 100 pounds ago.
@@TheKillaShow bittersweet isn't it?
There's a thin line between being kind to oneself and losing self-awareness though. It sucks, but when you see the amount of fat folk who insist they ate right and exercised but it didn't work you can't not assume they're lying to you and themselves.
I think i am a nicer person because i feel so much better mentally and physically. Thats after 50 pds. Cant wait for what is next. Thanks for the real talk and inspiration. My body now amazes me at 39. Its really nice.
While I haven't experienced weight loss like yours, I have dealt with a great deal of chronic mental illness. When you spoke about really only having this body for two years and feeling kind of like a baby that really rang true to me. I've been a whole, well, integrated person for less time than a kindergartener...there's so much that I don't intuitively know or haven't been able to do, or have had to learn to interact in healthier ways...it's been a real trip to learn to be grateful and to give myself that grace.
Grief, too, is so right. I hated myself more than anyone else could have. The things I've done to this body, the only one I will ever have, make me sad. Likewise, I've had to grieve who I might've been had I not been dealing with this illness and the side-effects of my treatment. I've had to be really gentle with myself sometimes and to really just learn to let things go.
Good on you for loving yourself enough (maybe not right off the bat lol) to do the hard thing. Good on you for persevering when it was hard. Good on you, too, for maintaining your new lifestyle EVEN when things have been comfortable -- it's so easy to backslide when things are comfortable. I'm glad you're living your life, doing your thing and, a little ironically, taking up space.
Ive just discovered you after the alcohol video popped up. Im 35 now and in the past ten years have shifted between 8 and 12 stone. When i was very small i had people tell me i looked straight out of a concentration camp which is beyond cruel. Its very bizarre behaviour why do people think its okay to say such things. Very honest video thank you
Wow, you have just explained exactly how I felt the when I lost all my baby weight and more with my first son. It was so degrading trying to talk to people and always the first things they want to talk about or mention is my weight. Our weight is not the universe!!! There's so much other things to talk about when you catch up with someone. I told my husband many times how I did not like it when people did that and I did not get flattered. I felt that they were insulting me.
🌟
I have to comment. These issyes have rolled around in my head and body for years and nobody was talking about it. Absolutely I regain because I feel so vulnerable slim. I also don't wear make up or dress well because I don't like being seen as attractive. The vulnerability kills me. Yet when I am bigger, I can't move as well so again I am vulnerable. Vile dichotomy to live in.
I know you have an ADHD diagnosis and sensory processing can be part of that. There is a sense called "proprioception" which is our sense of where we are in the world, this links to the idea of movement.
I also think the sense "interoception" may be interesting to you. I like your brain, you consider and express ideas brilliantly.
I'm an aerobics instructor and I love how my body can move when I'm slimmer. Equally it brings me down when I'm bigger so much so that I can't instruct. I love instructing.
This push and pull with my weight has been life long. Thank you for talking about all of this. Its fascinating.
I went through someone trauma over 10 years ago. Since then I gained weight from a uk size 8 to a size 18/20. I’m now married and have a child however I have recently lost 40lbs I still have 20lbs to go. I had a flashback from what happened in the past and I was so shocked! I haven’t had any issues like this for years because I’ve moved on. It hit me then my weight was my protection and I suddenly felt vulnerable around my husband of 10 years. It was a life changing moment for me to understand how my weight and health ended up in the state I was.
I have used that moment as healing and really moving forward. Weight loss is more than just the physicalities and I wish more people could understand this.
Thank you for your video, you took the words right out of my mouth. And yes you are a beautiful women inside and out. Well done for your weight loss, self healing and growth. It takes a lot of motivation and dedication. ❤❤❤
My therapist once told me that trauma is molecular. When you experience “flashbacks”, for lack of a better word during periods of bodily change, whether weight loss, training, sweat sessions, sauna or whatever, it’s your trauma breaking down and changing. Thought that was interesting.
Love this video!! I HATE the “you’re getting too skinny!” Or “Don’t get too skinny!”” comments. It’s so rude. Like, what’s “too skinny” to you? And why do you feel entitled to make a request on what MY weight should be on what I look like?
Btw, you are beautiful! Don’t ever feel bad about stating a fact. If that bothers someone else that you acknowledge that fact then that’s their issue, not yours.
Thanks Carla! This was great and I really needed to hear this today. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experience, Carla. All of your videos are helpful but there’s so much depth in the emotional and psychological side that resonates deeply with me when you share these ones. I often feel stuck and start going back the other way in my own weight loss journey and it’s not only eye opening but incredibly reassuring and inspiring to hear how you process things as you learn and go along your own journey. I appreciate that you brought up ways in which we can use boundaries to help us as things inevitably change. You’re an amazing person! Thank you!
Thank you so much Natasha, I really appreciate it. 🖤
⭐️I really appreciate these videos, they have helped me realize I am not alone with some of my feelings and experiences. Bring so very close to my goal weight I am now experiencing the “your too skinny” comments (I am not even close to the bottom of my BMI). I am struggling with feeling angry at those comments and the fact that people are so brazen with their opinions about what I eat and how much I weigh. Like you said, it’s important to have healthy boundaries, and I need to learn a better way to respond, calm & confident. I have also struggled with the grief as well. Thank you again🥰, I don’t think I would have gotten where I am in this weight loss journey without stumbling across one of your videos a year ago💖
Im in the same place as you, also starting to get the comments about not losing more weight and I must be finished now.
What annoys me is that none of those people felt the need to tell me when I was very obese and at risk of diabetes and hypertension....no, now they 'care' about my health, now Im the healthiest Ive ever been!😵💫
@@catz4m8z yes, so true!!
No one talks bout this! Great video!!
✴️✴️✴️ I am going through grieving....... for age 7 to 54 as obese, overweight or thought I was. Overcoming the mind clutter, numbing, is the most challenging.
Thank you for sharing your journey❤
It's been great seeing your face more!! I'm loving all the new content. ❤
I wasted my thirties being depressed and overweight. I'm now 48 and happy with myself, but still working on me. ❤
I am in a bigger body now, I am double my body weight from before. It is quite something to experience the differences. Thank you❤
80 lbs down so far, myself! Nice job!!! I've still got 60 lbs to go, but constantly shedding!
Good for you. I'm down only 9.5 lbs but just starting out
🌟 Carla, I know you said that you don't like people remarking about how you look, but I hope you won't mind me remarking upon the way you hold and carry yourself. You emanate a beautiful feminine energy and have such a vibrant twinkle in your eyes, it's contagious! And when I see you in your dancing videos, I see someone letting themselves become powerful by being vulnerable. You're very real, relatable (and not gonna lie, I always envy your hair, lol) but I think you give so many people a big, reassuring, reminder that they can change their mindset, their health and their lives, if they really want to and are ready to do the work. Thank you for your honesty; YOU are a star! x⭐
P.S. If you ever do one of these again, I'd love you to talk about how weird it is to suddenly (well, not suddenly, but gradually, but you know what I mean, lol!) becoming really aware of your bones. Like, how it feels to bump into things and no longer have the extra padding, feeling your knees knock together when you're lying on your side, feeling freaked out by hipbones. Things that people who have always been slim don't notice, but those who have lost a lot of weight can find difficult to get our head around. xx
Being cold!
@@nettie7645 Cold like never before experienced or imagined. In May! Lol.
Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I actually don’t mind people commenting on my appearance, I appreciate your lovely complements. I just have an issue when people compare my body to before. Compare my mental health, way I hold myself in the world yes, because that’s the real transformation. So thank you so so so much!! I also want to thank you so much for your beautiful comment about my Dancing, you have absolutely described how I feel with my dancing journey, 🖤🖤🖤 I’m so delighted that you get it!!
And I’ve taken note for the next episode x
I completely understand. I put the weight on deliberately to avoid unwanted sexual advances when I was a teenager. I do regret that choice.
⭐️🌟I really enjoyed your discussion here. I appreciate your openness and honesty ⭐️🌟
Thank you for that explanation/reminder that being in such a different body is akin to a toddler, metaphorically. I found that a really helpful analogy to help myself be gentle with myself.
This is the video I’ve been looking for throughout the last 7 months on a diabetes medication that results in weight loss. I have been satisfied as a big person, and was so concerned about all the changes you list here. The backhanded compliments, especially. Everyone (especially my doctor) seems to think I would be jumping for joy to have a medication make it easier to lose weight, but I just couldn’t see it without the painful parts of change. I have adapted and feel better about it, thanks to very good boundaries. Thank you for being one of the only voices I’ve heard that talk about the things we lose when we lose weight.
Carla! Thank you so much! I love your videos! I am also excited when new one on! Because of you I have signed up for BodySlims.
Hi Carla, love dis video,U give hope 2 alot of people ,in all walks of life..Its ur honesty, ur a beautiful person inside and out..
✨️✨️ ❤✨️ Have a good weekend
I really appreciate and resonate with these wonderful videos that are focused on mental health. So appreciated Carla ❤❤❤
I'm nearly 50 yo. So having lost 85 lbs means my skin is different.
Someone said my neck now looks like the skin of a chicken whose neck has been wrung. I was so shocked I laughed but inside my heart was breaking 😔
I am sorry. People can be so cruel. I am sure you look wonderful and healthy.
I’m so sorry!! That’s awful. I had some small tweakments done which helped with that a lot 🖤
I’m so sorry that humans suck. Women in particular can’t ever win.
🌟🌟🌟You are amazing- I love these real-real conversations Thank you Carla for sharing these hard truths 🍀
You are a beautiful person, inside and out. I find your videos extremely helpful and inspiring in my own weight loss journey (which seems to be never-ending!). Thank you for your kindness, caring and compassion.🌟 🌟
"Bambi body" is so real❤
🌟🌟🌟 Thank you for telling us the truth! It means so much!!! 🤗
HalfOfCarla is so witty and brilliant for a weightloss channel name! Thank you for being so vulnerable for us Carla. You've helped me recognize my issues and how to deal with them, especially the mental aspects
When I was young I lost 13 kg. My best friend’s boyfriend had an a**hole friend who one day tagged along and when he saw me again he said: ‘Jesus! You must have lost a ton!’ I was so shocked and so young then I didn’t know what to say. Of course if it was to happen now I would most certainly give him a piece of my mind.
Ugh!
So sorry you had to experience that!
One more truth: it is so helpful to read through other comments and know that I am not alone. I feel watching and commenting is helping me stay centered in remembering that the opinions of those who dont understand me do not need to suck up my energy.
I will give an example: I joined a new aerobics class this week. The exercises were easy for me and I had no problem keeping up, but the instructor kept singling me out to say how great I was doing. I really don’t know if it's because I am overweight or if it was just because I was new, but she seemed to be gushing with happy surprise. It made me feel so uncomfortable that next time I want to hide in the back!
At least I realize now, I do have a right to return to the group. Maybe I will even go early to the next class and ask her not to single me out during the class.
Ugh I felt that in my soul! We’re often infantilised when we’re overweight or even when we lose it. I recently met an old friend who was so condescending. It’s a hard one to swallow 🖤 sending you love cx
@@HalfofCarla thank you so much
⭐️⭐️I thought that you’d mention loose skin, but that didn’t even come up. I found these all so interesting!🤩🤩
Just found you!! and I Love You and your truth has made me a life time follower. I love the fact that you believe you are beautiful and I totally agree that to be TRUE!!!😂 You are really a very strong and BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!! Thanks for believing in yourself!!😊 Haters will be with always!! You have HELPED ME!❤
Really appreciated this one and will listen to it again. Thanks!
As life gives you good things and bad things, and learning to accept both and everything in between is part of everyone's journey and the way we grew, and because we also need bad experiences and try to 'correct' or prevent everything robs us from that path... I see other people's opinions the same.
You have the right to state your boundaries but you have no right to police other people's opinions, comments, thoughts.
Demanding that people only say good things or shut up, it's fascist.
I'm with you, I'm against bullies. But people cannot be muzzled because they're m*rons. The risk with all the virtue signaling and censoring and 4ced good... we now know what would have happened if Gandalf had taken the ring.
Some people say mean things. A skill is to learn how to shrug it off, or just take it and move on. And it's possible even if someone is traumatized or depressed, I speak for experience.
We have different personalities and (even if I'm not a masochist and I don't like to be hurt) I cherish abrasive encounters because it's a chance to analyze myself and understand why that specific thing hurts me and not someone else (of why it hurts me now and not 10 years ago).
As you can see it's a trigger of mine when people hints on 'we need to educate others to be good' 🙃.... I really don't like it and it doesn't work for me to be surrounded by people instructed to be polite (I'm an ENTJ-a .... you? )
When I was skinny, I would walk into a to a room and turn heads. I literally couldn’t go anywhere without people trying to talk to me men and women I will get hit on constantly I would get doors held open for me. I would get my food paid for . over the last two years i gained close to 100 pounds after the death of my mother and due to major depression anxiety from that. And it’s absolutely unbelievable the way people treat FAT people. I’m invisible now. Nobody sees me. Men don’t even notice me. No one hits me anymore. IM THE exact same person. I watched people who were attracted to me become unattracted to me thats an insane feeling watching someone who once like you, but then watching them become uninterested simply because of your body. I honestly don’t give a fuck. Lol because I know as soon as I lose weight again it’ll be different but this time around I won’t pay THEM any mind. People are so vain. It’s disgusting.
I'm one week in to my most recent attemp to get the weight off. Found your channel on day one. Normally, by now i would've found an excuse to quit, but I'm watching your videos and its keeping me motivated. Also making me have hard conversations with myself that was never part of the journey before!
I was fat through my teens and 20's. Lost 60kg over the last three years and bulked up quite a bit from lifting.
I'm glad that I'm at a healthy weight again, but I'm seriously not sure if I like the social changes that followed.
Female friends and acquaintances who are showing, sometimes very obvious, interest in me even though they have a partner/husband.
Male friends and acquaintances who are acting resentful with me either for losing weight or getting a different attention from their girlfriends. Or just straight up mad that I managed to break the bonds and change. As if their ego was hurt by this.
Knowing that people only used to treat me badly because I was fat, and suddenly turn on a dime and give a fuck about me now. Like, my personality never really changed.
I'm now upheld to a social status I never had the chance to grow into, so I visibly see the disappointment in peoples faces when I'm not as assertive as they expected me to be.
And don't get me started on the restentment from other overweight people, who thinks I lucked out in my weightloss. No, took literally blood, sweat and tears to get where I am today.
That's absolutely wild to hear someone put it like that... I saw what being totally unprepared emotionally and mentally did to my younger brother who was THE guy in his highschool year that all the girls wanted. He wasn't mature enough to cope with that at 16, and it led to him making tons of awful decisions that made him really unhappy. My first girlfriend was blown away when she found out who my brother was (we have different last names), and said (semi) jokingly she wouldn't have had anything to do with me if she'd have known before meeting me, his name was that notorious even in other schools. Everyone thinks attention like he got is all fun and games, but it comes with a whole load of trouble. He turned into a really well balanced guy as an adult, and just married his long term partner this month, but I'll never forget seeing the dark side of having attention that someone can't deal with.
I had an odd experience when I lost 25% of my bodyweight in 6 months after a really bad breakup... I was doing a really intense job, working to escape and not looking after myself, which obliterated my appetite. I remember being 62kg (137lbs), which meant nothing as a number at the time, but being 6 foot 1, I looked really bad. No one said anything... I look at photos of myself back then, and can't believe the only person who ever said anything was my doctor, who was obviously concerned (I put on quite a bit of weight after joining the ambulance service, obesity is a legitimate issue in the National Health Service ironically). I've found a really good balance now, but my parents still comment on how I should eat more, despite being in the best shape I've been in since I was a retained (reserve/auxiliary) firefighter in my early 20s. Body image is a truly fluid concept, and it's truly crazy how difficult it can be to weigh up what other people see vs what I see in the mirror.
@@Corvid I'm glad to hear both you and your brother have reached a good place in life.
I've posted my experience to a comment in another video, and I got the following reply that I felt was a pretty good look at things too:
"It's still not true interest. People are just curious about the people they are attracted to, but that doesn't mean they actually care for what they say, beyond it getting them closer. It's strange to realize women/people can behave like guys do with hot women, because it looks a bit different/is unfamiliar. People crushing on you can actually be quite annoying when you want a real connection (not love, not sex, but real exchange about an actual interest)."
You speak on beauty privilege and I agree that that’s a thing but I was treated like a threat by other women until I put on some weight.
I don’t think that my experience is rare either…
Really!! Those comments come from a place of, I don't know, not a gpod place.
You are still the same person. As a community, as a whole we are do judgemental.
Sorry, you had to experience such comments 😢❤
I beg to disagree with your first point. People do treat you differently when you lose weight. This is because your perception of yourself changes because you made the conscious effort of getting yourself healthy and that speaks for you. Your confidence shines through and people do see that.
When you're fat people see you as unattractive, undeserving of love or even attention.
I at one point lost 10kgs and people treated me better, stopped calling me fat and I instantly became attractive lol. It's the people's mindset but it's also true that people do see you in different light.
must admit that upon losing a lot of weight I found got pains and took me a wile to realise it was pulling muscles sitting up I needed more support than used to
the number of people who talk of the plus was so surprised to find the pain for what did without effort before (lost about 280lb in the last 6 years)
Great video, I see a thing that I don't logically understand. You feel resentment to close ones because they didn't point out your weight ealier yet you activelly disencourage talking about your past self as someone that was worse off because of weight. It looks like you want to have a cookie and eat too. Being fat is unhealthly and people should talk about because if we create a taboo atound this topic then we end with hurting people because we lie to them that everything is okay, it's simply toxic.
Love ❤️ your channel.
❤so well said. I have experienced all of this, especially the learning how to do things in my current body.
Wow, this really hit me deep in my soul. From my heaviest, I have lost around 120 lbs. I still have 110 to go. I was that "tough girl" too. I always had the walls up. The thing that scares me most is being vulnerable around men, and getting attention from them in a different way. I feel very uncomfortable, and it has been so long since I've been in any kind of relationship, I don't know how to act. When I was younger and fit, in the body I was meant to be in; multiple times I was attacked by men who just seemed to feel they had the right to do so. That scares the bejeezus out of me, now that I'm 30 some years older. My goal is to take martial arts classes to be able to defend myself. I am already training with a firearm, for home defense. This was long, but I felt the need to get this out. I feel this is a safe space to do that. Carla, what you said about when people talk, but it isn't necessarily the truth was a serious AH-HA moment. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you do more videos like this. Love you so much!! I can't find a star emoji, but I am sending you an entire galaxy of stars!
Omggg yes the balance! I am half way to my goal. Although my balance is okay, it's different. I'm so clumsy now, it's so strange.
I'll step wrong and my mind corrects to balance the old body and not this one. So I wobble and look like an idiot or like I'm drunk, despite having not had a drink in over a year.
Girl, this is so relatable.. I used to feel the same way when people made commentary on my weight loss
Thank you for this. I recently achieved my goal weight, having lost 120 lbs and you’re so right about these real issues
I think you're a dynamic person.
Your words really resonate with me- particularly the ‘barriers’ rather than ‘boundaries’ and the compliments that insult the pre weight loss me - as you say - I’m still the same woman - although I’ve tried to separate myself from ‘her’ the bigger version by naming her ‘Fat Lynn’ - but I appreciate the few advantages Fat Lynn gave me - curiously I felt safer from ‘the male gaze’ and welcomed the mumsie body. Best wishes - I’m now 14years down the line - it was a change of lifestyle facilitated by a breakdown rather than a plan - but no regrets - life is good. Lynn who used to be a size 22 and 110kg for 15 years plus and is now a 10 and 58kg.
I was an obese kid. Then I lost weight when I was 11. It was such a big change that it scared me. My friend's father said I finally look like a normal person🙄. My sisters tried to push me to wear revealing sexi clothes. I became a part of popular girls group at school. Then I was SA'd and it was the moment I ran back to safety of fatness. And never came out of it. But it is just miserable existence being always the biggest, ugliest, most overlooked or bullied one everywhere I go. If I could process all this feelings I would be finally free. But I don't know how.
My experience is obviously different to yours, but the bit about "If I could process all this feelings I would be finally free. But I don't know how" sounds very familiar. I wish I could tell you how, but what I can say is, for me, eventually, I got there. It took time, but I did. There is good reason to believe you will get there too. 👍
Only someone who's been there can understand this. I lost 30kg and it's truly daunting to me now how difficult movement really was.
I'm wondering how many women gain weight just to be able to move through public spaces unmolested by the male gaze. I never liked being sexualized. Being fat, I am Never sexualized now and can therefore move more freely through public spaces.
I am 45 and I am fat. I am healthy - good cholesterol, great blood pressure. I am not prediabetic. But I still get harrassed for my weight, by my mom.... She told me a few months ago - you're not ugly, you're fat and busted up laughing. We were on the freeway and for a split second, I thought, I could just swerve into the median barricade and never have to deal with this harrassment again. I am 45. I am fat. I am physically healthy. And I can't look in the mirror at myself. Because I'm not ugly - I'm fat which lives rent free in my head constantly.
I am so sorry!!!! 😢❤ please don't take your life. You are wonderful and worthy in Jesus' eyes!
@@rootlori8117 I would never do that. I'm an atheist. This is literally the only existence I will know. I'm not looking to shorten the experience.
I am so sorry… your mom is so toxic and fatphobic. No one deserves to be harassed for their size.
7:02 as person who quitted drinking, the worst is people who try yo pull you down: you won't last long; are you sick?; common just one drink...i just got rid of those people, just stoped socialising with them. Funny enough now i somehow attract people who don't drink, i meet person and "i don't drink", like three times)) so you shoul edit your circle for your own good
I’m a guy and I lost 300lbs. I genuinely hate that women are nice to me now after decades of being treated like a subhuman by them.
This explains so much, for my mother and her journey. It hit home. Cant share more, but many hugs and mch gratitude.
Just started my journey again, this was a very interesting video because I could relate- and have experienced these uncomfortable truths the first time I lost a substantial amount of weight.
I know what to expect this time around, if I can get to my goal. ❤
*When you get to your goal! 🖤
@@HalfofCarla thank you 😊 ❤️
i was once 45kg and due to a health problem I ended up with 90kg, I was treated differently by people, mostly friends and family, and everyone felt like it was right to comment on how much I gained and how ugly I got because of it. Some family members only talked to me about weight loss and bariatric surgery like being plus size was my only personality trait. It´s sad really, and I am currently trying to change that reality