I feel the sorriest for this guy's wife, you know those are some nightmares in-laws and this guy sounds like he doesn't have a lot of spine when it comes to them.
He has had a lifetime of giving into them and accepting what they say and how they think of him. Hard to get out of that loop. Hopefully he will. Otherwise, every time he hits an obstacle, he will hear that awful paralyzing voice inside saying, ‘See? I told you you couldnt do it.’ Hopefully he will get someone to help him overcome this. I like what John said to him. ‘I just want you to see what you’re worth, my Brother.’❤️
Being worth over a million doesn't mean much, just a few paid off tractors would be worth that for a farmer. MAKING over a million dollars per year makes his pay insultingly low, since he isn't just doing them a favor until things turn around.
I worked for my mom for a while running a daycare center for her. She promised me when I started she would give me a raise to do it since I was making 16/hr she would give me a raise to 20/hr. I did it and when I got there she not only didn’t give me a raise she made me work basically 14hrs a day and only got paid for 6hrs. I was constantly working and dealing with issues while having 3 kids to raise at home. When I asked a second time she said it wasn’t in the budget and I needed to increase profits to achieve it. When I did she made more excuses and said she would just pay my rent for me to avoid the raise which in the end she also stopped doing and also not giving a pay raise. I eventually quit and found a different job.. as soon as I did she got a new director and paid her 25/hr… it has caused lots of tension in our relationship
Taking family for granted is extremely common. Goes both ways, kids take their parents for granted a lot too. I.e the kid will throw a massive fit over being asked to pay $600 / mo rent ... so they go rent a new place in the same town for $1400.
She really, shamelessly exploited you. And hasn't even apologized yet or tried to make up for it. The way she treats you must hurt a lot. I wouldn't be seeing much of her if I were in your shoes.
It really hurts when your own mother basically treats you as if you’re worthless. That’s what she was telling you. She has probably been telling you that for most of your life. I hope you don’t believe it, because you obviously are worth a great deal more than what she thinks. Stand up for yourself, and be proud. i’m sorry this happened to you.
Just got out of this exact situation with my folks! After 3 months at a new company I got a MEGA raise. Ran my parents entire company for them and didn’t get a raise for 3 years. Should have left sooner!
The parents should be giving him free rent in this extra house they own. That's fairly common when big farmers hire a someone, they include housing as part of pay.
Farming is hard, unless you own the farm, and debt free, I might add. I lived it. Nothing ever went the way you'd think. When an employer says "we treat you like family", this is what they mean.
Farming has largel expenses! Just because he knows the value of the cattle than if they were all sold than like money to build up the herd back up would take a lot of money that is the rainy day fund for the farm. His parents bills are probably huge to operate the business he lives there and they pay the taxes if they were willing to pay his loan than they would be flexible on the income.
He is a well-mannered son who is being forced to confront an obstructive parental mentality. I hope they clear their vision in a timely enough fashion, so as to re-evaluate a situation which is not even remotely necessary.
This is pretty common in family business. But what’s also common is the son gets married and the wife shows and brings out the real value of her man. Women, you have a important role in what a wife and woman can do when it comes to her husband. This wasn’t only John checking with Dave on what to do, this was John checking to see if the value his wife sees is real.
That's actually kind of sad. I was just telling my wife today that what most impressed me about the biography of John Adams is that I learned that the only counsel he sought was his wife's and no one else's. I try to emulate that.
@@JerryStevens Not all men are like John Adams. Most men learn over time. Just like my husband. I am glad I am not the only wife who deals with this. Lol.
This is very common in farming families, a brother, uncle, cousin etc will “overtake” the business and pay the hardest workers in the family scraps compared to the profit margin
this guy's parents are ganstas. dude got 45k student loans and his parents make $1 million dollars a year. didn't pay for his education says alot about the parents.
@@sebastianzx6r Expect? No. But since they had the money, they should have. We paid all of our kids' college except for a few thousand so they would have to pay something. And we make nowhere near a million.
Working for my Dad's business destroyed the relationship between my brother and sister in law with my dad and step mother. They took advantage and my brother and his wife lived on nothing for so many years with so many promises never kept.
I feel bad for this man because his wife is going to be blamed no matter what happens. Can't imagine them not paying for his college. I don't think he has much chance of being fulfilled in the family business because there's too much history of being outmaneuvered his whole life. It's obvious he has a lot of respect for them but he will never be treated like an adult until he acts like one.
I was taken advantage of financially by my parent as a teen into young adulthood. It was extremely damaging to our relationship, and this parent died with that division between us. It was really awful, and I suggest he puts his family ties first by separating family and finances. I hope he can put the resentment behind him before it becomes a seething, open wound.
He should get employed as a ranch manager for a ranch that will pay him fairly. If his parents are controlling him now there is no guarantee that they won't cut him out of the ranch inheritance when they die.
@@superblump87 he’s right I grew up with many many farmers sons. They work for their dads hate it and don’t make squat but they will ultimately inherit and “earn” the farm which winds up being worth it
LOL hes not in a bad situation. Granted everything he said was true, his parents ranch has to be worth at least 100 million dollars to clear a million in annual revenue being that its near San Antonio. He stands to inherit millions from his parents.
@@renwhite1809 Yeah but usually the sister who moves to the city gets 1/3 anyway. Go live your life if nobody falls for this inheritance has to go somewhere
I did the same thing and when parents were gone, I had to buy out my siblings to own the property. I'm in my 70s and still owe on the mortgage. No fun.
How is he going to buy out his siblings? A million a year in revenue and its a ranch near San Antonio, Texas. The land alone is worth 100 million to keep that many cattle. Ranch land around San Antonio goes for 30 to 40 thousand per arce and we're talking about many thousands of acres of land.
My Grandparents and parents owned a dairy farm together. Everything, down to the most minute of income and expenses, was 50/50. After they dissolved the farm, and sold the land, debts were paid off and each had 50/50 of the equity to split. And we didn’t live beyond our means. I hope he takes Dave’s advice because his parents are defrauding him of a life.
Yes, that evil "this is all yours one day" comes after your life is spent and assuming no catastrophic events or illnesses drain it all away. If that happens, you've ended up trading your life for literally nothing. This is an awful thing to do to children.
If they aren't paying him a proper wage now, I can almost guarantee that when the time comes to hand over the ranch, they will sell it on to someone else. It is what happened to a family business in my local area. The daughter was working for free, (with the knowledge/promise from the parents that the business would be passed onto her), but when her parents retired, they sold up the business to a developer. It was in the news that she had to sue her parents for years of wages. So sad.
He should be asking for a percentage of the family farm for every year he works there. What often happens when the parents pass away, all the siblings get an equal share of the farm. The child who has worked on the farm for pitance their whole life can't afford to buy out the other siblings. So the farm gets sold to a big corporation. And the farm boy has to start a new career at age 45/50 in the city, because physically they can't/don't want to be the new hired hand on the old family farm working for the new owner continuing to work for very little $.
This is a big ranch in an area where land prices are relatively high. Easily a 100 million dollar ranch. I wonder how his siblings will feel if he gets the entirety where one percent ownership equals a million dollars. Maybe not so good.
As a mom of an adult son, I don't think it's worth it to discuss with your parents. If they didn't value you up to now, especially since they know that you are saddled in college debt. I would never treat my son that way and I only make 1/10th of their salary.
That's $15/hr working 40 hour weeks...I don't know anyone working a ranch working 40 hours weeks. You could be an undocumented farm hand and they would probably pay you that or a little more. I'm with Dave there a plenty of places around (I'm from SA) that could use a good right hand and would pay you $65-75k without even thinking twice about it and if it was a big enough operation probably six figures look around the outer loop (north to Highway 46, west to 173 and south to 97). If your parents say we want you to inherit the business the only way I would accept it without a significant pay jump and is make them incorporate the ranch with you as a partner maybe at 5-10% since you aren't buying in (that way they can't change their mind later) then after so many years they bump up the percentage...all this assuming your wife has a decent job.
Definitely. If he stays, there need to be some serious negotiating to where his pay is commensurate with his experience, skills and contribution to the whole operation.
If you know this much about the area and about ranching, then you also know that the acreage we're talking about to bring in a million in revenue annually on the Edwards Plateau is probably worth at least 100 million dollars given today's land prices.. That to me is the issue being ignored. Is the caller doing this because he's expecting ahigher percentage of this inheritance? I'd guess so. And if he expects to take the property instead of his siblings, he's actually getting millions per year in a later inheritance.
Those parents should be ashamed of themselves. It is disgusting behavior. That is very hard work and they treat their own son like trash. No respect for their own child - that says a lot for the quality of humans they are. If I knew who they were, I'd never buy their produce or meats. I hope the son finds a good ranch to work at and leaves the family business forever.
i make more than him as a hospital housekeeper with no degree so this is so sad. and i’m not saying that as a flex, i’m saying there’s no way he should be making less than me. my job is generally pretty easy, albeit tedious sometimes. his parents are cruel for paying him so little.
His parents are cruel not only for paying him so little, but for tricking their own child into believing he's not worth more. That's giving him a mindset that's setting him up for failure and taken advantage of. Thankfully he's breaking out of that.
$45K is small change when you consider how much salary each year this guy has been underpaid. He himself said he could be making double doing the same job elsewhere.
We lived this scenario. It wasnt worth it in the beginning or the end. My husband kept the farm going and his father and uncle took advantage of him. You may lose your wife if you don't unhook from the family farm.
Like you, I lived this scenario too. My husband kept the farm going until he had a breakdown and had to quit. His brother was furious and wanted to know who was going to take care of the farm now? It still affects our marriage to this day. So sad.
I would ask them to show him the tax returns and business spreadsheets to see how much the business is really making including any debt servicing etc. If they won't show their own son the business records especially for his input with a business degree, the family relationship has a lot bigger problems than mentioned here. Possible they are even in enormous debt and implying/silent-promising him a big inheritance when in fact there is nothing. How would he even know if they really even own the prompt they are ranching on instead of just leasing it from another landowner. Something fishy going on here with too many secrets.
The guy should leverage and threaten to work for a competitor and have the conversation with them. The parents sound like they would sell the ranch and cash out leaving him with barely nothing.
It absolutely does, if you work without passion for long time, your life would be truly miserable. And if you can monetize passion, you will be the happiest person on the planet
His parents make a great living doing the same thing.... doesn't seem that far fetched to me that with a business degree he could make something similar happen.just needs capital.
Sounds like a heck of a guy. One you want as a best friend. Hope he finds another ranch to work on and it doesn’t ruin his relationship with his parents
I knew a guy in Montana with the same situation. His uncle owned the family farm. He could live in one of the houses free but did not own it. He was in his 30s making the equivalent of minimum wage even though he bore most of the responsibility in day to day operations. It was sad. And he didn’t want to leave because he loved the farm. He loved the land. He lived there all his life. And he knew if he left it would cause a major rift in the family. Also, it sounds like one or both of the parents in this caller’s case is a narcissist or covert narcissist. I would not be surprised if they went berserk when he tells them he is leaving.
Been there done that. Worked on farms my whole life. Family will take advantage of you as well as any farmer you work for. But I preferred it over corporate BS. Paid off now that I am nearly at retirement age and farming for my self. His parents might make a million a year but input cost could be taking 80 percent of it easily. That is how farming and ranching works. Ramsey is clueless to this fact.
This feels like control. Pay them a lousy wage but give them an opportunity to inherit a million dollar business. Then offer to pay their student loans so you can hold that over them. If they get another job they risk not inheriting the business and if they let them pay off their student loans they are mentally in debt to them forever. I’m so grateful my parents aren’t like that. These things have a lasting impact on your relationship.
Well by my calculations, and if what the caller said was true (near San Antonio, livestock, a million in annual revenue) the land alone is worth 100 million dollars. If he has siblings, they might want a piece of that. Don't you think? And how in the world is he going to pay them out to keep the land? Even at a million dollars per years in revenue, it would take four lifetimes to make that kind of money from ranching.
Man, this is the position I'm in. Was making over 100K a year and got guilt tripped roped into the family business making significantly less and miserable
Holy smokes! I have been there...same situation. I waited years for the payout to find out my parents spent every penny, millions, they died broke, and left me in the same situation, BROKE. Get out while you can!!
I've always paid my children for "extra jobs" when they lived with me...I never ask them to do ANYTHING for me that I wouldn't pay someone else. My issue in that though, I know how my kiddos work. My daughter, I pay her what she asks, my oldest boy,yeah we're writing out a contract lol . .
This is one caller I'd LOVE to hear an update on,......unless you treat your children in your business fairly/professionally,.....they will find out eventually how you have been treating them!! And Parents/Family business "That is on you!!"
I might start saving up to pay Dave to speak to my husband! Brilliant post. I love how they're clever to be candid and admit that life/ psychological strings/power/families are all part of your money journey...something I WISH I had appreciated earlier in my married life.
It is normal for parents in farming and ranching communities to transfer the ownership of a business to their children. Especially the child that works the farm. That is what has happened in my family.
@@crzyruskie86 You have a point. I will suggest it differently. What is the chances he will inherit their wealth when they pass. In most families it is 100%. Second, unless Dad decides to work into his 80's I would think the son will be running the farm before too many more years.
Parents don’t OWE their children a college education! If kids want to go, then earn it through scholarships, working, etc. It is amazing that kids think they are entitled to a free ride to college on their parents’ back. If the parents can afford to do it, fine, that’s their choice, but they don’t owe it to their kids. We had five great kids, but could no way afford to send them through college and all five went on to either college or trade schools and did it on their own. Only two had student loans and they were less than $5K each. They paid them off in a fairly short time once they got out and started working full time. And guess what? They appreciated their higher education because they earned it themselves and didn’t blow it off because it wasn’t handed to them. I have seen so many friends who paid their kids’ way through college and their kids did nothing with their degrees or partied all through school and don’t amount to squat now.
Your parents make over a million a year and only pay you 30k??? Yeah bro if I found out my parents were doing that to me I would cut them off completely. How you gonna short your own child like that, ESPECIALLY when they didn’t even ask to be born? 🤦🏾♂️
Not defending the parents here, but probably 90% of their income comes back into running the farm. and maybe the wife has to work, teacher, nurse, or something in addition to farm wife, which is a full-time job itself. And we wonder why family farms are going away.
This attitude of being entitled because you “didn’t ask to be born” is so millennial, weak, and defeatist. Pathetic. And you keep repeating it. I suppose parents should keep their kids in style all their lives so they can “flex” on social media all day. Then when the parents are gracious enough to finally die, they should also somehow be able to leave their kids millions so the kids can continue to live lavishly, because they “didn’t ask to be born.”
@@genxx2724 blah blah blah. They obviously don’t care about him. Didn’t even pay for his college. They could have obviously afforded to pay for it. They simply don’t care about their child. Probably had him by accident.
We are missing pieces to this. My guess is that son is set to inherit huge portion of this business if not all of it, for his work, he's also probably getting lots of write off perks: gas, phone, insurance, ect. He could use a raise and it sounds like his parents need to put some estate planning in writing so everyone is on the same page. Also would be shocked if the million is a good number. Kids have a hard time understanding expenses without seeing the whole financials. Also no discussion on farm debt which can be a huge draw down on assets. Still good advice from Dave.
I’ve seen this play out badly. Friend of mine was paid very low wages in two family businesses and always told she would be taking it over. Then it dawned on her. She was never going to inherit the business they had played her all of her life and restricted her career choices to suit their agenda.
You can pay your kid a fair wage and still let them inherit your business. If a parent gifts money to pay off the loans with strings attached, they're not the loving type of parents to let their kid inherit their business without a fight. Just because you have good parents doesn't mean all parents are well-intentioned
This is really sad. My parents would bend over backwards to help me out if I ever needed it. I would never ask but I have no doubt that they would do anything for me or one of my siblings. I'm sorry that he doesn't have this.
The guy supposedly has a business degree. If he is 31 and his parents at least 55, then you'd expect a clear agreement for him to take over and steps now to make that happen. Presumably, they also want grandchildren, to avoid taxes, to retire in 10 years, etc. so you'd expect formal contracts, buyouts, talking with a financial planner, etc. and getting him as much cash as he can handle via taxes so they can be personally stable to start having a family and he's committed to staying.
When I was first married we worked without pay, yes without pay, for over a year on the ranch with a promise of taking over the ranch only to have them sell without us knowing it.if it is not in writing leave.
Okay, there's so much Dave did not ask. The guy did not answer what he does for work. He did not say why the situation was like it is. Dave just assumed that the guy's parents were taking advantage of him. I mean was he making 30k plus room and board for him and his wife living in a separate home all espense paid? We don't know.
I agree there was more not said out loud, but he did say he raises cattle & sheep. With Dave & John, being from Tennessee & Texas, they understood it meant everything involved to include buying, feeding, medicating, breeding, birthing, and selling livestock. $30k is below the us average of $56k annually, and Ramsey encourages people in debt to make as much as they can. In that area of TX he should be making at least $45k if not above 65k; hence them saying he's being taken advantage of. He also implied his parents would probably hold the "gift" over his head with strings attached so as they usually do, they read between the lines.
I did the same as this man because family farm had mortgage payments. Eventually I got a pay check through the inheritance. My brother and sisters got inheritance having not worked for family businesses.
@@davisholman8149 I would imagine those parents had a tough time and didn't want there kids to do the same. Just like anything that is a possibility. When you look at america there is the concept of "you are on your own when your 18" no where else in the world see it that way. Definitely a poor person mentality and is more common that what you have witness.
What kind of parents pay their own child half of what he could receive elsewhere? Especially since they're making a million a year!! They're ripping-off their own kid!! Unbelievable. They have a grown child who is working hard for them, loving what he does, and obviously doing a great job, and they're paying him a pittance compared to what his competitors would pay him. I feel bad for this man...how many times did they undervalue him while he was growing up?
The more I listen to these shows the more I think I was not earning my worth. But they beat you down into accepting the position with a certain pay. You always hope you'll get a little more and you inch of gradually but it's never commensurate.
Literally 99% indian parents taking advantage of their children😢😢😢. I worked my whole life for family. I'm 37 and nothing on my name, not even a vehicle. Time to do something for myself saperately. Thank you for this video. I mean it, thank you very much.
The moment when the parents offered to pay off the student loans instead of giving him a raise would be a red flag for me. They're attempting to negotiate, knowing that they're not paying him his worth and he's onto them. And if he accepts the loan payoff, there will ALWAYS be strings attached. They're trying to stay in control of him. If I were him, I'd line up a new job offer for another ranch, then tell the parents I'm leaving unless they would more than match said offer. Turn that power around.
I don't agree that the caller should let his parents know anything about his plans. They are NEVER going to pay him what he's worth. He should find that job that will pay him what he's worth and give the parents one day's notice and just be GONE the nest day.
If the parents have enough to pay off the student loans I say let them do it. No written contract on future promises working for them though. Then find a better job and cut them loose. If they have that much money they should've paid for his college expenses to begin with so the student loans wouldn't exist
They are holding him hostage with the inheritance
The second he said he works for family, I been there and felt his pain.
Dude, leave and find a different job.
I feel the sorriest for this guy's wife, you know those are some nightmares in-laws and this guy sounds like he doesn't have a lot of spine when it comes to them.
He will grow.
Nope she is causing more problems because she is cutting her own husbands throat.Wealthy people don't think the same as poor or middle class people.
He has had a lifetime of giving into them and accepting what they say and how they think of him. Hard to get out of that loop. Hopefully he will. Otherwise, every time he hits an obstacle, he will hear that awful paralyzing voice inside saying, ‘See? I told you you couldnt do it.’ Hopefully he will get someone to help him overcome this. I like what John said to him. ‘I just want you to see what you’re worth, my Brother.’❤️
Bera male nothing more.
Exactly what I thought when I heard this… yikes
I heard this live, and when he said he thinks his folks make (or are worth) over a million dollars, I said "WHAT?" and almost drove off the road.
Yeah, I almost spit out my omelette. 🤣🤣
Being worth over a million doesn't mean much, just a few paid off tractors would be worth that for a farmer. MAKING over a million dollars per year makes his pay insultingly low, since he isn't just doing them a favor until things turn around.
My parents farm, 80-90%+ of the income goes to the farm.
Make (or are worth) are two vastly different things. Having a violent reaction to the latter is pathetic.
What his parents are worth is irrelevant. It’s about what HE is worth.
I worked for my mom for a while running a daycare center for her. She promised me when I started she would give me a raise to do it since I was making 16/hr she would give me a raise to 20/hr. I did it and when I got there she not only didn’t give me a raise she made me work basically 14hrs a day and only got paid for 6hrs. I was constantly working and dealing with issues while having 3 kids to raise at home. When I asked a second time she said it wasn’t in the budget and I needed to increase profits to achieve it. When I did she made more excuses and said she would just pay my rent for me to avoid the raise which in the end she also stopped doing and also not giving a pay raise. I eventually quit and found a different job.. as soon as I did she got a new director and paid her 25/hr… it has caused lots of tension in our relationship
Taking family for granted is extremely common. Goes both ways, kids take their parents for granted a lot too. I.e the kid will throw a massive fit over being asked to pay $600 / mo rent ... so they go rent a new place in the same town for $1400.
She really, shamelessly exploited you. And hasn't even apologized yet or tried to make up for it. The way she treats you must hurt a lot. I wouldn't be seeing much of her if I were in your shoes.
It really hurts when your own mother basically treats you as if you’re worthless. That’s what she was telling you. She has probably been telling you that for most of your life. I hope you don’t believe it, because you obviously are worth a great deal more than what she thinks. Stand up for yourself, and be proud. i’m sorry this happened to you.
@@LovesLakes yeah it is what it is, I just consider myself a solo family with no parents 😁
@@calebclark5615 And that’s sad. I hope you find a family in your friends.
I love that Dave was immediately able to use his business as an example of fairness. I hope he means it and it's true.
Just got out of this exact situation with my folks! After 3 months at a new company I got a MEGA raise. Ran my parents entire company for them and didn’t get a raise for 3 years. Should have left sooner!
The parents should be giving him free rent in this extra house they own. That's fairly common when big farmers hire a someone, they include housing as part of pay.
Maybe they are already giving him free rent, but not in the extra house, we don't really know.
@@BrianW211 we know they said they wanna sell the house to them.
@@renwhite1809they should just give it to him, but they clearly just want to use him
He is an indentured servant.
everything aside, i love the passion in his voice when he said he loved his job. that's so rare these days.
Farming is hard, unless you own the farm, and debt free, I might add. I lived it. Nothing ever went the way you'd think. When an employer says "we treat you like family", this is what they mean.
Farming has largel expenses! Just because he knows the value of the cattle than if they were all sold than like money to build up the herd back up would take a lot of money that is the rainy day fund for the farm. His parents bills are probably huge to operate the business he lives there and they pay the taxes if they were willing to pay his loan than they would be flexible on the income.
@@sarahholweg9156 Why didn't Ramsey ask if they are living there for free? If so, that's part of his salary.
He is a well-mannered son who is being forced to confront an obstructive parental mentality. I hope they clear their vision in a timely enough fashion, so as to re-evaluate a situation which is not even remotely necessary.
This is pretty common in family business. But what’s also common is the son gets married and the wife shows and brings out the real value of her man. Women, you have a important role in what a wife and woman can do when it comes to her husband. This wasn’t only John checking with Dave on what to do, this was John checking to see if the value his wife sees is real.
you’re delusional frank
@@bassrooten2217 you have bad women around you, probably you mother
You are right
I mean Frank P is right
@@bassrooten2217 Frank is not delusional. The wife must be in the man's frame -or- the marriage doesn't work.
His wife told him the same thing and it took Dave Ramsey to convince him 🤣 oh men!! I’m so glad I’m not the only one!!
Lol!
As a ski instructor, sometimes the parents would come up to me and say, "I tried teaching them this for so long!"
And they get it through me. :)
That's actually kind of sad. I was just telling my wife today that what most impressed me about the biography of John Adams is that I learned that the only counsel he sought was his wife's and no one else's. I try to emulate that.
@@JerryStevens Not all men are like John Adams. Most men learn over time. Just like my husband. I am glad I am not the only wife who deals with this. Lol.
@@valerieosborne16 I know. Sorry your husband doesn't value your opinion.
This is very common in farming families, a brother, uncle, cousin etc will “overtake” the business and pay the hardest workers in the family scraps compared to the profit margin
They should be taking care of their family. Despicable people.
this guy's parents are ganstas. dude got 45k student loans and his parents make $1 million dollars a year. didn't pay for his education says alot about the parents.
Supposedly.
Paying for your kids college education is not a requirement in life. No child should expect that.
@@sebastianzx6r Expect? No. But since they had the money, they should have. We paid all of our kids' college except for a few thousand so they would have to pay something. And we make nowhere near a million.
@@sebastianzx6r the child didn’t even ask to be born, it’s the least they can do I mean it’s not like the couldn’t afford it…
@jim well maybe they had an agreement and did not pay because he didn't hold up his end. Two sides to every story.
With parents like that, who needs enemies? SEE YA!!
Working for my Dad's business destroyed the relationship between my brother and sister in law with my dad and step mother. They took advantage and my brother and his wife lived on nothing for so many years with so many promises never kept.
Thank you for sharing. I hope your brother and sister in law are much better now.
I’m so sorry
How can parents watch that happen?
I felt that. Working for my dad, going to and from work together, living in the same house...
I feel bad for this man because his wife is going to be blamed no matter what happens. Can't imagine them not paying for his college. I don't think he has much chance of being fulfilled in the family business because there's too much history of being outmaneuvered his whole life. It's obvious he has a lot of respect for them but he will never be treated like an adult until he acts like one.
I was taken advantage of financially by my parent as a teen into young adulthood. It was extremely damaging to our relationship, and this parent died with that division between us. It was really awful, and I suggest he puts his family ties first by separating family and finances. I hope he can put the resentment behind him before it becomes a seething, open wound.
This shouldn't happen.
I hope you are okay now and finding healthier relationships
He should get employed as a ranch manager for a ranch that will pay him fairly. If his parents are controlling him now there is no guarantee that they won't cut him out of the ranch inheritance when they die.
People who don't know a lot of farmers don't realize how many sons of a farmer are in even worse situations than this.
Give some examples.
@@superblump87 he’s right I grew up with many many farmers sons. They work for their dads hate it and don’t make squat but they will ultimately inherit and “earn” the farm which winds up being worth it
True.
LOL hes not in a bad situation. Granted everything he said was true, his parents ranch has to be worth at least 100 million dollars to clear a million in annual revenue being that its near San Antonio. He stands to inherit millions from his parents.
@@renwhite1809 Yeah but usually the sister who moves to the city gets 1/3 anyway. Go live your life if nobody falls for this inheritance has to go somewhere
I did the same thing and when parents were gone, I had to buy out my siblings to own the property. I'm in my 70s and still owe on the mortgage. No fun.
How is he going to buy out his siblings? A million a year in revenue and its a ranch near San Antonio, Texas. The land alone is worth 100 million to keep that many cattle. Ranch land around San Antonio goes for 30 to 40 thousand per arce and we're talking about many thousands of acres of land.
Sometimes it’s best to cut out toxic family out
My Grandparents and parents owned a dairy farm together. Everything, down to the most minute of income and expenses, was 50/50. After they dissolved the farm, and sold the land, debts were paid off and each had 50/50 of the equity to split. And we didn’t live beyond our means. I hope he takes Dave’s advice because his parents are defrauding him of a life.
Spot on happened to me
Yes, that evil "this is all yours one day" comes after your life is spent and assuming no catastrophic events or illnesses drain it all away. If that happens, you've ended up trading your life for literally nothing. This is an awful thing to do to children.
If they aren't paying him a proper wage now, I can almost guarantee that when the time comes to hand over the ranch, they will sell it on to someone else. It is what happened to a family business in my local area. The daughter was working for free, (with the knowledge/promise from the parents that the business would be passed onto her), but when her parents retired, they sold up the business to a developer. It was in the news that she had to sue her parents for years of wages. So sad.
Crazy. People enslaving their own children.
He should be asking for a percentage of the family farm for every year he works there. What often happens when the parents pass away, all the siblings get an equal share of the farm. The child who has worked on the farm for pitance their whole life can't afford to buy out the other siblings. So the farm gets sold to a big corporation. And the farm boy has to start a new career at age 45/50 in the city, because physically they can't/don't want to be the new hired hand on the old family farm working for the new owner continuing to work for very little $.
This is a big ranch in an area where land prices are relatively high. Easily a 100 million dollar ranch. I wonder how his siblings will feel if he gets the entirety where one percent ownership equals a million dollars. Maybe not so good.
This call was a sad one......he needs to go elsewhere and grow in confidence.
He needs therapy.
I desperately need an update on this one
a narcissistic manipulative set of parents....
Probably baby boomers!
As a mom of an adult son, I don't think it's worth it to discuss with your parents. If they didn't value you up to now, especially since they know that you are saddled in college debt. I would never treat my son that way and I only make 1/10th of their salary.
Imagine having a child and not wanting the absolute best for them beyond what you have for yourself… I can’t. 😢
I sure hope he moves on, he will do much better someplace else and actually use his education so he can have a better future.
That's $15/hr working 40 hour weeks...I don't know anyone working a ranch working 40 hours weeks. You could be an undocumented farm hand and they would probably pay you that or a little more. I'm with Dave there a plenty of places around (I'm from SA) that could use a good right hand and would pay you $65-75k without even thinking twice about it and if it was a big enough operation probably six figures look around the outer loop (north to Highway 46, west to 173 and south to 97). If your parents say we want you to inherit the business the only way I would accept it without a significant pay jump and is make them incorporate the ranch with you as a partner maybe at 5-10% since you aren't buying in (that way they can't change their mind later) then after so many years they bump up the percentage...all this assuming your wife has a decent job.
Definitely. If he stays, there need to be some serious negotiating to where his pay is commensurate with his experience, skills and contribution to the whole operation.
If you know this much about the area and about ranching, then you also know that the acreage we're talking about to bring in a million in revenue annually on the Edwards Plateau is probably worth at least 100 million dollars given today's land prices.. That to me is the issue being ignored. Is the caller doing this because he's expecting ahigher percentage of this inheritance? I'd guess so. And if he expects to take the property instead of his siblings, he's actually getting millions per year in a later inheritance.
Those parents should be ashamed of themselves. It is disgusting behavior. That is very hard work and they treat their own son like trash. No respect for their own child - that says a lot for the quality of humans they are. If I knew who they were, I'd never buy their produce or meats.
I hope the son finds a good ranch to work at and leaves the family business forever.
i make more than him as a hospital housekeeper with no degree so this is so sad. and i’m not saying that as a flex, i’m saying there’s no way he should be making less than me. my job is generally pretty easy, albeit tedious sometimes. his parents are cruel for paying him so little.
When Dave said he could go work at McDonald's and earn the same money plus make deliveries on the side that was really sad
His parents are cruel not only for paying him so little, but for tricking their own child into believing he's not worth more. That's giving him a mindset that's setting him up for failure and taken advantage of. Thankfully he's breaking out of that.
Wow they could really set their son up. What a shame
Don’t ever live with the mentality that someone will set you up!!Thats horrible for everyone.
This guy has to make a decision today. Before the sun goes down it sounds like his wife is on the same path as he is. God bless them.
Parents definitely undervalueing their Son, sad its time for him to move on or them to pay him what he's worth.
Exploiting son
$45K is small change when you consider how much salary each year this guy has been underpaid. He himself said he could be making double doing the same job elsewhere.
Yeah if they had been paying him double all along, that would be paid off by now
We lived this scenario. It wasnt worth it in the beginning or the end. My husband kept the farm going and his father and uncle took advantage of him. You may lose your wife if you don't unhook from the family farm.
Like you, I lived this scenario too. My husband kept the farm going until he had a breakdown and had to quit. His brother was furious and wanted to know who was going to take care of the farm now? It still affects our marriage to this day. So sad.
I would ask them to show him the tax returns and business spreadsheets to see how much the business is really making including any debt servicing etc. If they won't show their own son the business records especially for his input with a business degree, the family relationship has a lot bigger problems than mentioned here. Possible they are even in enormous debt and implying/silent-promising him a big inheritance when in fact there is nothing. How would he even know if they really even own the prompt they are ranching on instead of just leasing it from another landowner. Something fishy going on here with too many secrets.
The guy should leverage and threaten to work for a competitor and have the conversation with them. The parents sound like they would sell the ranch and cash out leaving him with barely nothing.
Passion doesn't pay the bills.
Sometimes it does.
It absolutely does, if you work without passion for long time, your life would be truly miserable. And if you can monetize passion, you will be the happiest person on the planet
His parents make a great living doing the same thing.... doesn't seem that far fetched to me that with a business degree he could make something similar happen.just needs capital.
Sounds like a heck of a guy. One you want as a best friend. Hope he finds another ranch to work on and it doesn’t ruin his relationship with his parents
That's up to the parent. Then he will know what they are really like.
His parents should be ashamed!!
30K a year and 40K a year, yikes!! That's crazy for adults to be making, not enough, they both need to find better jobs!
No kidding. That's what the whole episode was about.
I make 40k a year and I don’t see a path where I could make more. I’m in telecommunications
@@TheMidniteAshes plenty of people in telecommunications make more than $40k per year. Or move to a different industry. The possibilities are endless.
I mean, how much os acceptable to you? It's not much less than the average income
Those parents are just plain evil. Absolutely evil.
Nah.
We don’t know the whole story. Could be large debts, even with a large income.
I knew a guy in Montana with the same situation. His uncle owned the family farm. He could live in one of the houses free but did not own it. He was in his 30s making the equivalent of minimum wage even though he bore most of the responsibility in day to day operations. It was sad. And he didn’t want to leave because he loved the farm. He loved the land. He lived there all his life. And he knew if he left it would cause a major rift in the family.
Also, it sounds like one or both of the parents in this caller’s case is a narcissist or covert narcissist. I would not be surprised if they went berserk when he tells them he is leaving.
Aren’t you all amazed the wide variety of calls that Dave gets
This call made us all rethink and learn things we need to do and dont do
Poor guy I felt bad for him. The parents are taking advantage of him. 😞
Been there done that. Worked on farms my whole life. Family will take advantage of you as well as any farmer you work for. But I preferred it over corporate BS. Paid off now that I am nearly at retirement age and farming for my self. His parents might make a million a year but input cost could be taking 80 percent of it easily. That is how farming and ranching works. Ramsey is clueless to this fact.
Take the check… then take a new job two months later. Fair play.
Or: get direct equity in the business rather than a promise
Hilarious
This situation is breaking my heart. How cruel are his parents 😢😢😢😢
This feels like control. Pay them a lousy wage but give them an opportunity to inherit a million dollar business. Then offer to pay their student loans so you can hold that over them. If they get another job they risk not inheriting the business and if they let them pay off their student loans they are mentally in debt to them forever.
I’m so grateful my parents aren’t like that. These things have a lasting impact on your relationship.
This guy is assuming his parents are going to give him the farm. They dont have to give him anything.
they won't give him a raise so they probably won't give him the farm
Well by my calculations, and if what the caller said was true (near San Antonio, livestock, a million in annual revenue) the land alone is worth 100 million dollars. If he has siblings, they might want a piece of that. Don't you think? And how in the world is he going to pay them out to keep the land? Even at a million dollars per years in revenue, it would take four lifetimes to make that kind of money from ranching.
Man, this is the position I'm in. Was making over 100K a year and got guilt tripped roped into the family business making significantly less and miserable
Why not leave now then?
is he indian?@@aaronmurphy8796
Every decision is your own. If your working there it’s because you want to be
Well that's simply not true.@@ppusher_
Speak up and ask for a raise, know your numbers and ask for it.
WOW, THATS NOT RIGHT, PERIOD. WITH PARENTS LIKE THAT I RATHER HAVE HATERS.
Holy smokes! I have been there...same situation. I waited years for the payout to find out my parents spent every penny, millions, they died broke, and left me in the same situation, BROKE. Get out while you can!!
I've always paid my children for "extra jobs" when they lived with me...I never ask them to do ANYTHING for me that I wouldn't pay someone else. My issue in that though, I know how my kiddos work. My daughter, I pay her what she asks, my oldest boy,yeah we're writing out a contract lol . .
That's pretty unusual for parents to pad their profits by underpaying their own family. He absolutely needs to resign and they can negotiate or not.
Dad needs a wake up call. Put out your feelers for employment elsewhere.
This is one caller I'd LOVE to hear an update on,......unless you treat your children in your business fairly/professionally,.....they will find out eventually how you have been treating them!! And Parents/Family business "That is on you!!"
I might start saving up to pay Dave to speak to my husband! Brilliant post. I love how they're clever to be candid and admit that life/ psychological strings/power/families are all part of your money journey...something I WISH I had appreciated earlier in my married life.
Take it from me. I did the same thing, worked for the bare minimum and got screwed majorly. Yes to undervaluing oneself. Sadly, that’s been so true 😔
It is normal for parents in farming and ranching communities to transfer the ownership of a business to their children. Especially the child that works the farm. That is what has happened in my family.
Making such terrible money he should tell them to put it in writting because he would need to know this 100% to be sacrificing this much money now.
@@crzyruskie86 You have a point. I will suggest it differently. What is the chances he will inherit their wealth when they pass. In most families it is 100%. Second, unless Dad decides to work into his 80's I would think the son will be running the farm before too many more years.
Dave is the father / grandpa / uncle / brother / friend / coach / teacher we all need in our lives.
Papa Dave, talking the hard talk. I love it
Parents should have paid for his college a long time ago.
why go to college if you are just going to work for your parents?
Parents don’t OWE their children a college education! If kids want to go, then earn it through scholarships, working, etc. It is amazing that kids think they are entitled to a free ride to college on their parents’ back. If the parents can afford to do it, fine, that’s their choice, but they don’t owe it to their kids. We had five great kids, but could no way afford to send them through college and all five went on to either college or trade schools and did it on their own. Only two had student loans and they were less than $5K each. They paid them off in a fairly short time once they got out and started working full time. And guess what? They appreciated their higher education because they earned it themselves and didn’t blow it off because it wasn’t handed to them. I have seen so many friends who paid their kids’ way through college and their kids did nothing with their degrees or partied all through school and don’t amount to squat now.
Your parents make over a million a year and only pay you 30k??? Yeah bro if I found out my parents were doing that to me I would cut them off completely. How you gonna short your own child like that, ESPECIALLY when they didn’t even ask to be born? 🤦🏾♂️
Not defending the parents here, but probably 90% of their income comes back into running the farm. and maybe the wife has to work, teacher, nurse, or something in addition to farm wife, which is a full-time job itself. And we wonder why family farms are going away.
This attitude of being entitled because you “didn’t ask to be born” is so millennial, weak, and defeatist. Pathetic. And you keep repeating it. I suppose parents should keep their kids in style all their lives so they can “flex” on social media all day. Then when the parents are gracious enough to finally die, they should also somehow be able to leave their kids millions so the kids can continue to live lavishly, because they “didn’t ask to be born.”
@@genxx2724 blah blah blah. They obviously don’t care about him. Didn’t even pay for his college. They could have obviously afforded to pay for it. They simply don’t care about their child. Probably had him by accident.
@@Thebootyrater Those are separate issues from what you first communicated.
We are missing pieces to this. My guess is that son is set to inherit huge portion of this business if not all of it, for his work, he's also probably getting lots of write off perks: gas, phone, insurance, ect. He could use a raise and it sounds like his parents need to put some estate planning in writing so everyone is on the same page. Also would be shocked if the million is a good number. Kids have a hard time understanding expenses without seeing the whole financials. Also no discussion on farm debt which can be a huge draw down on assets. Still good advice from Dave.
That's how I read it. He plans on inherenting the whole place.
I’ve seen this play out badly. Friend of mine was paid very low wages in two family businesses and always told she would be taking it over. Then it dawned on her. She was never going to inherit the business they had played her all of her life and restricted her career choices to suit their agenda.
You can pay your kid a fair wage and still let them inherit your business. If a parent gifts money to pay off the loans with strings attached, they're not the loving type of parents to let their kid inherit their business without a fight. Just because you have good parents doesn't mean all parents are well-intentioned
Parents with wealth could gift the young couple the needed house.
Oh man what a bad situation for that gentleman!! Hopefully it was fixed, God bless his and the parent’s situation!!!
A good story to remember when you hear ranchers and farmers pleading poverty.
Lol, every situation is different. Honestly if they own a ramch in south Texas amd it was family land, it probably has alot of oil leases also.
This is really sad. My parents would bend over backwards to help me out if I ever needed it. I would never ask but I have no doubt that they would do anything for me or one of my siblings. I'm sorry that he doesn't have this.
Take the gift money and another job. The gift will be compensation for all the time underpaid.
That’s one option.
..or at least, for one of the years he worked underpaid. Seriously.
My problem would be,I would be overpaying my kids
would love to see a follow up to this, I hope it works out for him.
This caller should find out his true worth by getting a job elsewhere. Otherwise he’s just surmising that he is worth more.
The guy supposedly has a business degree. If he is 31 and his parents at least 55, then you'd expect a clear agreement for him to take over and steps now to make that happen. Presumably, they also want grandchildren, to avoid taxes, to retire in 10 years, etc. so you'd expect formal contracts, buyouts, talking with a financial planner, etc. and getting him as much cash as he can handle via taxes so they can be personally stable to start having a family and he's committed to staying.
With many people, it's all about the coin. Shame on the parents.
When I was first married we worked without pay, yes without pay, for over a year on the ranch with a promise of taking over the ranch only to have them sell without us knowing it.if it is not in writing leave.
Okay, there's so much Dave did not ask. The guy did not answer what he does for work. He did not say why the situation was like it is. Dave just assumed that the guy's parents were taking advantage of him.
I mean was he making 30k plus room and board for him and his wife living in a separate home all espense paid? We don't know.
I agree there was more not said out loud, but he did say he raises cattle & sheep. With Dave & John, being from Tennessee & Texas, they understood it meant everything involved to include buying, feeding, medicating, breeding, birthing, and selling livestock. $30k is below the us average of $56k annually, and Ramsey encourages people in debt to make as much as they can. In that area of TX he should be making at least $45k if not above 65k; hence them saying he's being taken advantage of. He also implied his parents would probably hold the "gift" over his head with strings attached so as they usually do, they read between the lines.
I did the same as this man because family farm had mortgage payments. Eventually I got a pay check through the inheritance. My brother and sisters got inheritance having not worked for family businesses.
Unfortunately, many parents would rather take advantage of their kids, rather than help them.
Guess I am around overly ‘giving’ parents - I see more kids taking advantage of generous parents.🤷🏼♀
@@davisholman8149 I would imagine those parents had a tough time and didn't want there kids to do the same. Just like anything that is a possibility.
When you look at america there is the concept of "you are on your own when your 18" no where else in the world see it that way. Definitely a poor person mentality and is more common that what you have witness.
What kind of parents pay their own child half of what he could receive elsewhere? Especially since they're making a million a year!! They're ripping-off their own kid!! Unbelievable. They have a grown child who is working hard for them, loving what he does, and obviously doing a great job, and they're paying him a pittance compared to what his competitors would pay him. I feel bad for this man...how many times did they undervalue him while he was growing up?
The family business logic from Dave is incredibly wise and objective.
I watched Yellowstone, no money in ranching anymore
You do realize that is a TV show, right?
I know the student debt is combined, but he has his own, and it appears that they never helped him with paying for college in the first place.
Take the 45K, thank them, then go out and get a better, higher paying job.
The more I listen to these shows the more I think I was not earning my worth. But they beat you down into accepting the position with a certain pay. You always hope you'll get a little more and you inch of gradually but it's never commensurate.
Had the same thing happen to me and I quit!! I’m so glad it’s over with!!
Literally 99% indian parents taking advantage of their children😢😢😢. I worked my whole life for family. I'm 37 and nothing on my name, not even a vehicle. Time to do something for myself saperately.
Thank you for this video. I mean it, thank you very much.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the you know what to actually have the conversation with his parents or actually quit.
His parents are mostly definitely narcs
The moment when the parents offered to pay off the student loans instead of giving him a raise would be a red flag for me.
They're attempting to negotiate, knowing that they're not paying him his worth and he's onto them. And if he accepts the loan payoff, there will ALWAYS be strings attached. They're trying to stay in control of him.
If I were him, I'd line up a new job offer for another ranch, then tell the parents I'm leaving unless they would more than match said offer. Turn that power around.
Man, I really want to know how that conversation went!
me too!
I don't agree that the caller should let his parents know anything about his plans. They are NEVER going to pay him what he's worth. He should find that job that will pay him what he's worth and give the parents one day's notice and just be GONE the nest day.
If the parents have enough to pay off the student loans I say let them do it. No written contract on future promises working for them though. Then find a better job and cut them loose. If they have that much money they should've paid for his college expenses to begin with so the student loans wouldn't exist
I really hope and pray that this guy gets paid what he is worth and then some. He sounds like a nice guy with greedy parents unfortunately.