Velma: Nobody Trusts Hollywood and We're All Very Tired

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  • Опубліковано 15 лис 2024

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  • @JLongbone
    @JLongbone  Рік тому +123

    Velma stunned me to silence
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    • @Hinatachan360
      @Hinatachan360 Рік тому +6

      Thank you for this wonderful birthday gift. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @cynicalperson161
      @cynicalperson161 Рік тому +8

      The woman was too stunned to speak.

    • @fallous
      @fallous Рік тому +1

      Sure Velma is a shit-show, but at least you got to reference The Thing!

    • @ayethein7681
      @ayethein7681 Рік тому

      @@Hinatachan360 Dammit I solved the mystery. Velma is the killer. When she aciuses Fred (who doesn't even know her) of chearing on her, it shows she is so narcissistic that she could do murders and not know it. When it comes out , she will be excused as the vics. were attractive to straight white males and so had it coming.

  • @mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901
    @mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901 Рік тому +1334

    “It’s an unfuckable force vs an unscrewable object”
    That one caught me off guard.

    • @eriktatos
      @eriktatos Рік тому +23

      Fire 🔥 …tis true comedy

    • @dronefury
      @dronefury Рік тому +15

      I laughed into a coughing fit. Fucking 🪙 Gold 🪙

    • @mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901
      @mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901 Рік тому +14

      @@oolbean1123 Yes.

    • @ab-gail
      @ab-gail Рік тому +9

      Same. Some actual funny in spite of the show Velma.

    • @reginaphalange9417
      @reginaphalange9417 Рік тому +8

      "What happens when the nonexistent bumps against the decrepit?"

  • @rockjockcanada
    @rockjockcanada Рік тому +510

    I accidentally called Velma a "Mindy Sue" and now I want to stand by it.

    • @KlutzyNinjaKitty
      @KlutzyNinjaKitty Рік тому +81

      Honestly, Mindy Sue works great for all the politically charged Mary Sues. Like Batwoman (both of them,) She-Hulk, that one Elf from Santa Inc., etc.

    • @phantomgoblin5540
      @phantomgoblin5540 Рік тому

      Mindy sue is just everything a Mary sue is just y'know raceswapped to steal its credit. Thank you so much i will now use this in every RS endeavor

    • @CRIMI0N
      @CRIMI0N Рік тому +51

      That's just your Truthlexia coming out.

  • @ember2.031
    @ember2.031 Рік тому +426

    Friendly reminder: Fred is 15 in this show. In fact all of the characters are minors.

    • @Jack-uo7gz
      @Jack-uo7gz Рік тому +48

      I can't wait to see them react to episodes four and six with that in mind.

    • @frug5629
      @frug5629 Рік тому +50

      And good lord does it make the 'humor' that much more creepy.

    • @sayxxdx
      @sayxxdx Рік тому +60

      They're minors and they have sexually subjective scenes. The fact the show is more focused on its weird agenda it completely has this *_wooosh_* moment.
      Also what's with this awful trend with adult cartoons where characters are self centered douche bags? The jokes are literally centered around those traits and it's supposed to be relatable somehow. It's relatable if you're a narcissistic sociopath with zero moral ambiguity.

    • @RoseDeDax
      @RoseDeDax Рік тому +12

      Classic Hollywood

    • @thejasminedragonmerchant6843
      @thejasminedragonmerchant6843 Рік тому +27

      Yep. Fred is depicted as 15 and gets socially crushed for the apparent crime of late puberty (an issue entirely out of his control, no less) and that's not even taking into account the court case humiliation, Velma's entire... EVERYTHING, the emotional and mental infantilisation by his parents, etc.
      Honestly, considering that other characters on the show get similarly unhealthy treatment I have to wonder if the writers just have no idea how to write for functional, actual teenage characters instead of extremely edgy, traumatised adults using the script for a therapy substitute with the characters reskinned for convenience. There's a lot of lines that feel VERY specific in how they get worded.

  • @AkiraLionPilot
    @AkiraLionPilot Рік тому +338

    Velma: *is rude to everyone*
    Also Velma: “NOBODY LIKES ME 😭😭😭”

  • @NotALiberalSoSkipTheScript
    @NotALiberalSoSkipTheScript Рік тому +363

    “We’re all tired” is a great sentiment.
    It’s not hatred. It’s not vitriol. It’s exhaustion.

    • @DemonicRemption
      @DemonicRemption Рік тому

      @killyournostalgia7552
      Says you, I'm just filled with apathy at this point.

    • @NotALiberalSoSkipTheScript
      @NotALiberalSoSkipTheScript Рік тому +2

      @@DemonicRemption Then why did you bother to comment? The “I’m above all this” schtick is equally exhausting.

    • @DemonicRemption
      @DemonicRemption Рік тому

      @@NotALiberalSoSkipTheScript
      Sorry, I wasn't clear. My apathy is due to overexposure, not my massive ego... See I made the mistake of exposing myself to fake leftist rhetorics since 2012.(I call them "fake leftists" because unlike the far right loonies they combat, they don't mean what they say as they just want attention...) But as a result since they repeat the same talking points over and over and over I'm just apathetic at this point. I just don't care enough to give the usual criticisms, because what's the point at this point?

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Рік тому +2

      Then comes apathy.

    • @NotALiberalSoSkipTheScript
      @NotALiberalSoSkipTheScript Рік тому

      @@chazzitz-wh4ly We’ve passed that. We don’t even care that people get shot up schools, die of preventable illnesses, and work more hours for less pay and higher housing costs than anytime in the world.
      But this is what we focus on. Not to lecture. I’m sure I’m part of it.

  • @Gurbo8
    @Gurbo8 Рік тому +196

    "They call me the thief"
    "What are you in for?"
    "Murder"
    There, I made the scene funnier

    • @DemonicRemption
      @DemonicRemption Рік тому +12

      @DutchKirby
      Yes. Yes you did... I read your comment before I made it to the end, and when I saw that seen I was like:"That one comment I read where Fred should've replied with 'murder' did make this funnier... That's just sad..."

  • @michaelstrong5383
    @michaelstrong5383 Рік тому +527

    Velma has a lower IMDB score than Batwoman.
    Let that sink in.

    • @StanleyNumber427
      @StanleyNumber427 Рік тому +55

      It even managed to be lower than Dragon Ball Evolution and Santa Inc.

    • @asdf12369
      @asdf12369 Рік тому +33

      Batwoman is fucking hilarious though

    • @insulttothehumanrace3807
      @insulttothehumanrace3807 Рік тому +15

      A lower score than High Guardian Spice... after about 30x the votes, mind you.

    • @isaiahgarraway5568
      @isaiahgarraway5568 Рік тому +10

      Of course Batwoman is cinema

    • @sherlock7898
      @sherlock7898 Рік тому +5

      sink like hbo's velma ratings

  • @genebaker511
    @genebaker511 Рік тому +89

    Velma - "Do you want to know why I wear these glasses?"
    Me - "Because you have poor eyesight."

    • @shcdemolisher
      @shcdemolisher Рік тому +9

      Or rather, "Because the world hasn't made you blind out of spite from ripping your eyes out!"

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Рік тому +4

      That’s a better explanation than what the show gave us. Apparently, they belonged to her mother, whom VeLmA and her Father mistreated, before she disappeared.

  • @sinjin8576
    @sinjin8576 Рік тому +30

    "I was genetically engineered to be a K-pop star but the western Gene's won out."
    Had me fuckin rolling

  • @anonnyanonymous4800
    @anonnyanonymous4800 Рік тому +678

    This raceswapping for Velma is just one of many examples that disproves that complete lie that, “They just cast the best person” when it comes to raceswapping in live action media. Why change the color of a cartoon character? Why couldn’t she voice a white character? Because they specifically set out to change the race of the character going into it. They never even gave a white voice actor a chance to audition for the role.

    • @TheRisky9
      @TheRisky9 Рік тому +97

      I think about Elden Ring and Malenia, who is everyone's favorite character and the "face" of the game. She is a white red-headed woman. She's voiced by a black woman. And the moment she coldly says, "I am Malenia, Blade of Miquella" you're wanting to use your "curl into a ball" gesture. I can't even imagine anyone else voicing that character. Not even vets like Jennifer Hale or Laura Bailey could come close to the level of intimidation Pippa Warner pulled off. And I am hoping to see Pippa in many, many other roles afterward and hope she becomes a legend in game voice acting.
      Another favorite of mine is Kimberly Brooks. She voiced Rei in Fatal Frame III and probably did a bunch others. In that role, she was able to convey empathy, fragility, femininity, and strength. It's very hard to dub a voice from Japanese to English, and she pulled it off.

    • @kingbash6466
      @kingbash6466 Рік тому +48

      @@TheRisky9 Bro, Melanie was black the entire time? Damn! That's crazy. This is why I love voice acting. You'll never expect talent like this.

    • @kodybuffettwilson
      @kodybuffettwilson Рік тому +61

      Don't settle for merely calling it a "race-swap", it's a skin-suit. Nothing in this show has anything to do with Scooby Doo beyond names and outfits.

    • @xtremegamer7198
      @xtremegamer7198 Рік тому +5

      @@kingbash6466 Honestly I would not mind if Malenia was black, may not fit, but she is a really good character.

    • @RanMouri82
      @RanMouri82 Рік тому +4

      @@TheRisky9 Only played a teeny bit of Elden Ring (so far), but I've played a lot of Dark Souls, and just remember curling into a ball to make a giant bird carry me off. What's the context for the gesture here?

  • @kingbash6466
    @kingbash6466 Рік тому +303

    Burstangel's laugh alone is funnier than the entirety of Velma so far.

  • @mikeyjamieson4715
    @mikeyjamieson4715 Рік тому +109

    I will give this show credit for one thing: it brought people regardless or gender, race, sexuality, religion or political affiliation together to talk about how this show makes a complete mockery of the Scooby Doo IP.

  • @grandarkfang_1482
    @grandarkfang_1482 Рік тому +341

    The fact that people keep complaining that the film is getting a Season 2 because of all the "hate-watching" don't know how contracts work.

    • @TrueBuddhaCat
      @TrueBuddhaCat Рік тому +39

      Plus, it's similar to how the Netflix Castlevania series started out with 4 episodes but then the second season had 8 episodes or basically it was the rest of the episodes for season 1 because they were not sure if the show was going to work or not(though with Castlevania it actually was good)
      Here, it's clear this already has a contract all set up and they ordered a certain number of episodes but given the absolute HORRENDUS reception/reputation this show has this is only going to have 2 or 3 1/2 seasons and that's it

    • @RanMouri82
      @RanMouri82 Рік тому +32

      Heck, this is the first show in a while I'm glad is getting a 2nd season because of how terrible it is. It's also reminding folks of how great original Scooby Doo was.

    • @PhantomOfTheKnight
      @PhantomOfTheKnight Рік тому +29

      It’s not just contracts but also the fact animation takes MUCH longer to make than live-action productions: what they call “season 2” may just be another batch of episodes they already had down the pipeline. Best example is the She-Ra reboot: the entire show got dumped in less than 12 months because the show was green-lit for specific amount of episodes and they just chopped them up into “seasons” to try to pad out distribution.

    • @kingbash6466
      @kingbash6466 Рік тому +23

      On one hand, I'm pissed that this show was greenlit a second season long before it even came out compared to the numerous other shows that got cancelled after one, but on the other hand, I'm not the one being blamed for "hate-watching" this show into succeed (not that I'm actually paying for an HBO Max subscription for this fucking show.)

    • @chesterstevens8870
      @chesterstevens8870 Рік тому +1

      I don't think your prognosis holds water: there are plenty of shows with just as much name recognition as the Scooby Doo franchise that got squashed midway through their first season -- Cowboy Bebop and Resident Evil, just to name two. Unless you have some insider knowledge from HBO regarding Velma's contractual obligations, I really don't see how it would play in here.

  • @anthonysaylor8120
    @anthonysaylor8120 6 місяців тому +5

    18:31 "I am looking at a picture of Scrappy-Doo tenderly now and going 'perhaps I DID treat you too harshly.'"
    In light of Velma's Season 2 finale, this aged spectacularly.

  • @KelShu
    @KelShu Рік тому +21

    I hate how unlikable they made Velma in this show; she's rude to everyone, racist, a selfish & inconsiderate friend, an unapologetic body-shamer, literally eats out of the garbage, and is just downright unpleasant

    • @jeremyallen5974
      @jeremyallen5974 6 місяців тому +2

      Not to mention she pisses in the shower and doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom.
      Wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if Kaling actually does that

  • @RogueFox2185
    @RogueFox2185 Рік тому +265

    So there’s a plot point further down the line in EP5 that brings “Scoobi” into this show in the form of a secret government project, given that Gigi will technically be the fifth member of the gang and the method that the other previous victims end up being murdered with their brains removed…
    Well given this show, I wouldn’t put it past them to do it.
    Also it should be noted that Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (A kid’s film mind you) pulled off showing what a panic attack actually looks when Puss himself is coming to terms with the literal personification of Death hunting him down and compare that to Mindy’s self insert who’s “panic attacks” look like she’s just having a bad trip.

    • @lorddolamite6141
      @lorddolamite6141 Рік тому +71

      That scene with Puerrito resting his head on Puss to calm him down was amazing. For a second, I thought they were going to the modern movie thing and undercut it with a dumb joke, but nope, they actually let the moment sit.

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 Рік тому +61

      When an animated family movie with a talking cat deals with a sensitive topic way better than your """adult""" cartoon, pack up, go home, you're through.

    • @RanMouri82
      @RanMouri82 Рік тому +39

      I wouldn't even consider Velma as having panic attacks but hallucinating.

    • @icycrusader1947
      @icycrusader1947 Рік тому +9

      @@RanMouri82 Panic hallucinations perhaps? Hallucinatory attacks? Not sure what you call this.

    • @RealTrishUna
      @RealTrishUna Рік тому +28

      Saw that Puss in Boots movie this week just for kicks and was SO not prepared for how great it was going to be. I was super impressed.

  • @okami-chan9772
    @okami-chan9772 Рік тому +107

    Thanks to this show, people are now realizing how Hollywood is so obsessed with Meta jokes to the point it no longer becomes funny...
    And of course thanks to the backlash Mindy is getting, she dug herself in a deeper hole when everybody on social media are digging up all the shady things that she said and done in the past; especially a clip of her on the Conan show admitting she assaulted and threatened the actor Lee Pace years ago when they were working on The Mindy Project.

    • @petergriffin-tu6ug
      @petergriffin-tu6ug Рік тому +11

      good

    • @xFlareLeon
      @xFlareLeon 7 місяців тому

      If you look into her relationship with her father, things make a lot of sense for the way she acts.

  • @austin9568AuraMasterDX
    @austin9568AuraMasterDX Рік тому +500

    If I had a nickel for everytime an unlikable female protagonist decided to twerk in a "comedy" show, I'd have two nickels.
    Which isn't alot but it's weird that it happened twice.

    • @mechanicpluto2430
      @mechanicpluto2430 Рік тому +71

      And it's happened two times more than I'd care for it to

    • @sangheiliwarrior86
      @sangheiliwarrior86 Рік тому +52

      They also did it in "turning red"

    • @TheBlackAntagonist
      @TheBlackAntagonist Рік тому +26

      @@sangheiliwarrior86 He said an unlikeable character, not a somewhat relatable dork.

    • @johannesseyfried7933
      @johannesseyfried7933 Рік тому +64

      Doofenschmirtz: "Man, if I had a nickel every time somebody quoted me, I could probably *buy* the Tri-State Area by now."

    • @mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901
      @mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901 Рік тому +55

      Turning Red, Velma, Powerpuff Girls, She-Hulk…
      That seems like more than just 2 nickels.

  • @RanMouri82
    @RanMouri82 Рік тому +193

    Thank you for joining the merry crew skewering this horror. "Is she trying to be Daria?" Yes, she is. And failing super hard.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one Рік тому +4

      1000% THIS

    • @frug5629
      @frug5629 Рік тому

      And annoying enough for me to wanna headbutt solid concrete.

  • @themetallicblur1315
    @themetallicblur1315 Рік тому +49

    "They can't keep getting away with it! They CAN'T keep getting away with it!!" - Jesse Pinkman

  • @TheChildofAuraReborn
    @TheChildofAuraReborn Рік тому +128

    Somebody already pointed this out, but if you want to make an adult-themed murder mystery/detective cartoon… You already have that Mike Tyson show, that proves that you can make something original and successful without having to appropriate a beloved IP meant to be enjoyed in a family setting.

    • @ember2.031
      @ember2.031 Рік тому +10

      Exactly, like this didn't need to be made.

    • @Shockguey
      @Shockguey Рік тому +21

      Or use one of the other Hanna Barbera IPs.
      Imagine the Chan Clan solving the mystery of all the local Asian Hate crimes in Oakland.

    • @heropath34.vaselisc.35
      @heropath34.vaselisc.35 Рік тому +3

      Cool to have some animated detective series... And please no more comedies! Just more serious but also cool....

    • @housewilma4904
      @housewilma4904 Рік тому +3

      or MYSTERY SKULLS though that is a musical based.

    • @simonpetrikov3992
      @simonpetrikov3992 Рік тому +2

      @@Shockguey “why are so many of these perpetrators black?”
      Note:I had to make a joke about the demographics of Asian hate crimes

  • @jordanjoestar-turniptruck
    @jordanjoestar-turniptruck Рік тому +17

    The sweetest thing is how this show has Tumblr defending the straight white male Fred as their precious boi and drawing fanart of the cast as white. TUMBLR.

  • @Kernwadi
    @Kernwadi Рік тому +29

    "I'm a beautiful, strong, intelligent, black woman."
    -Scooby Doobius

  • @brunoramos9747
    @brunoramos9747 Рік тому +72

    Funny how everybody is looking for the murderer but everybody is not looking at Velma when she clearly fits the description

    • @RanMouri82
      @RanMouri82 Рік тому +4

      As the season progressed with Velma's hallucinations, I thought it would be great if she *was* the murderer. But no, that would be cool, so they'd never do that.

  • @neilprice513
    @neilprice513 Рік тому +68

    Modern woke writing is "This happened, then this happened and then this happened" without any follow trough or setup and payoff. It's just a string of poorly thought out ideas, forced into a linear timeline and hoping a story would emerge.

    • @ubermaster134
      @ubermaster134 Рік тому +2

      This writing is encapsulated by the Memberberries in south
      "Member this thing yeah? you totally member that happening"

  • @Laarye
    @Laarye Рік тому +63

    My friend had an idea: Since ONLY actors that ARE whatever a character is can play the character, then ONLY white actors that openly admit to being racist should play racist characters
    That would certainly make things interesting

  • @normalgraham
    @normalgraham Рік тому +38

    You know why Fred is the only legit funny character in the show? Because you're supposed to be laughing at him, not with him. He's allowed to be wrong. The show wants you to like Velma, so every time she's made to look foolish it's because someone else is failing to understand how great she is, not because she's a sociopathic misandrist. I don't understand why this principle is so unfathomable to so many comedy writers. It's the same thing that separates the gentle chuckles of a show like F*R*I*E*N*D*S from the belly-laughs of It's Always Sunny

    • @axiss5840
      @axiss5840 Рік тому +10

      The idea of there being any type of humor besides 'pointing out the joke we just made' is lost on these people.

  • @cannon_tortoise
    @cannon_tortoise Рік тому +18

    The FOUR production companies that made this trash all being to closely tied to Mindy Kaling (save WB Animation) makes a lot of sense why nobody is stopping her from doing this.

  • @Kernwadi
    @Kernwadi Рік тому +32

    I love having my favourite childhood cartoons destroyed and violated just because someone had issues while growing up and decided to pour them into a script...

  • @scrungful
    @scrungful Рік тому +130

    The only good thing about this is that it brought a bit of attention to mystery incorporated

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 Рік тому +26

      This show *_WISHES_* it was as good as Mystery Incorporated

    • @dandydrew613
      @dandydrew613 Рік тому +19

      My heart goes out to Mystery Incorporated and to whichever writer wrote Fred's lines in it.

    • @kingbash6466
      @kingbash6466 Рік тому +12

      This show sorta gave Be Cool Scooby-Doo a second wind in popularity, and I'm at least grateful for that.

    • @xtremegamer7198
      @xtremegamer7198 Рік тому +8

      @@kingbash6466 Velma and Be Cool are basically polar opposites. Velma: Good artstyle and animation, shit writing and characters. Be Cool: Shit artstyle, decent writing and characters.

    • @poissonsumac7922
      @poissonsumac7922 Рік тому +1

      It worked lol, I bought all the episodes of Mystery Inc. But I just got the full collection of Supernatural too so now I'm tackling that for a LONG time first

  • @InvitalPulse
    @InvitalPulse Рік тому +230

    Please do all the episodes. This was funnier than Velma itself.

    • @Pha5ma
      @Pha5ma Рік тому +6

      I second that

    • @TheRoflcer
      @TheRoflcer Рік тому +16

      No, leave JlongBone and her friends Sanity alone!

    • @motherfreya2840
      @motherfreya2840 Рік тому +2

      I love the classic Shaggy impressions sprinkled in.

    • @frug5629
      @frug5629 Рік тому

      @@motherfreya2840 I hope Jack will return, he is always a trip on these videos.

  • @zrc1514
    @zrc1514 Рік тому +25

    They also specifically aged them all down to 15 in this show. FIFTEEN!!

  • @ScottE-2
    @ScottE-2 Рік тому +71

    "It's an unfuckable force vs an unscrewable object" I am stealing the "Unfuckable force" I also had a better time laughing with the reaction than witnessing what happened in the show itself. I don't think all of you are ready for episode 5... They ruin something so sacred I never thought my heart would feel it beat half a second slower. It's bad, hope y'all are ready for it. But BurstAngel is easily one of the more fun hosts you've had join along side you. His laugh lifted my lungs.

  • @VueiyVisarelli
    @VueiyVisarelli Рік тому +15

    "I am looking at a picture of Scrappy-Doo tenderly and now going, 'Perhaps I did treat you too harsh[ly].'" 🤣😂

  • @gwem1979
    @gwem1979 Рік тому +136

    This show is improved by commentary mainly because you can’t hear the dialogue and the commentary is invariably funnier. Also, ncala’s voice… My god it’s magnificent

  • @JadaCarlton
    @JadaCarlton Рік тому +31

    you know, 'Be Cool, Scooby-Doo' doesn't look so bad anymore.

  • @Higesgirl
    @Higesgirl Рік тому +94

    BurstAngel'ls laugh gives me Fringy vibes and I love it.

  • @mr.rich-low-pitch6570
    @mr.rich-low-pitch6570 Рік тому +34

    "We killed an oompa loompa...I don't...I-I don't know what's...I...WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" I laughed way too hard at that. 😆

  • @mercaius
    @mercaius Рік тому +27

    When the lampshade never comes off, the audience can't see shit.

  • @HanaNoMachi
    @HanaNoMachi Рік тому +11

    "Why are you Indian with a white last name?"
    **LAUGHS IN TECH SCAMMER**

  • @JustTooDamnHonest
    @JustTooDamnHonest Рік тому +180

    Episode 1: Made me want to snap my own neck
    Episode 2: Made me want to gouge my own eyes out
    This show is just a medium for Mindy to air her own grievances and low self esteem and not to mention her own fragile ego is on full display and her jokes are just as funny as taking nails to a chalkboard.

    • @frug5629
      @frug5629 Рік тому +1

      I tried to laugh man, but even with the Jlong crew in play. Holy shit this show was depressing to listen to. It's not just bad, its downright insulting.
      I know it's not worth getting pissed off over, but with this toxic sludge. I fucking can't stand it. None of the show is witty or clever. It's mean spirited, creepy, racist, and just trashy from start to finish.
      Mindy Kaling and company that worked on this atrocity, do humanity a favor, and NEVER EVER go near media again.

    • @mastermonarch
      @mastermonarch Рік тому

      did it make you want to watch another channel? that's what
      the smart choice has been since the first tv rolled off the line

    • @JustTooDamnHonest
      @JustTooDamnHonest Рік тому +5

      @@mastermonarch or the other smart choice is not watch any TV at all. Because for a long while now and with the exception of a few other shows there hasn't been that much good shows out these days.

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Рік тому

      Every show she writes or stars in is the exact same; she is always some obnoxious, eternal victim, desperate, clingy girl.

  • @SilvrSavior
    @SilvrSavior Рік тому +39

    #spitewashing is the perfect verb to describe the writing for this show.

  • @petergriffin-tu6ug
    @petergriffin-tu6ug Рік тому +37

    "velma just tried to commit murder we are just gonna ignore that"
    YES
    WE ALL SUPPOSED TO IGNORE THIS FACT

  • @DarkStarInsomniac
    @DarkStarInsomniac Рік тому +22

    Y'know what could be really fun? The Mystery Gang... but old. Has anyone gone that direction before?

    • @sarahb.7175
      @sarahb.7175 2 місяці тому

      Ooh, story idea!! But I'll use original characters.

  • @toastedbabybuns1000
    @toastedbabybuns1000 Рік тому +66

    Also it probably wasn't the show's intention but the only likeable character is Fred. He's relatable, somewhat funny and the only character I feel sympathetic for.

    • @jextra1313
      @jextra1313 Рік тому +23

      That's it, he's the only one with flaws, everyone else is a protagonist.

    • @cptndunsel2670
      @cptndunsel2670 Рік тому +10

      He reminds me a bit of Dean Venture, but I feel guilty making that comparison because Venture Bros is a way, waaaaaay better show. I don't want to tarnish it by association.

    • @kenzieuchiha1191
      @kenzieuchiha1191 Рік тому +7

      Yeah, he's meant to be the punching bag, both figuratively *and* literally. But he's the only one to feel an ounce of sympathy because his flaws and insecurities are constantly the butt of some shitty joke that doesn't land or is hardly even a joke to begin with.

  • @dilloncrowe1018
    @dilloncrowe1018 10 місяців тому +3

    7:46, he looks like a Black version of Beaker from the Muppets.
    So imagine when Beaker says "meep! meep! meep!" When he talks, except in a deep voice.

  • @VueiyVisarelli
    @VueiyVisarelli Рік тому +26

    The hallucination animations look solid. It's a shame their talent was wasted on this show.

  • @theliato3809
    @theliato3809 Рік тому +9

    “He looks like a black muppet.”
    Best description I’ve heard for norvile

  • @patrickkelmer6290
    @patrickkelmer6290 Рік тому +45

    “Indians with english last names”
    Tbf they could be anglo-indians - though anglo-indians don’t usually have actual indian first names like “Aman”.

    • @sangheiliwarrior86
      @sangheiliwarrior86 Рік тому +4

      Wouldn't one of 'em be huwite if that was the case?

    • @patrickkelmer6290
      @patrickkelmer6290 Рік тому +10

      @@sangheiliwarrior86 not necessarily, as it usually means that one of their paternal ancestors was British - anyhow the anglo-indians then married among each other only for generations, what remains are the surnames, often still speaking english, and a strong Christian faith.

    • @sangheiliwarrior86
      @sangheiliwarrior86 Рік тому +4

      @@patrickkelmer6290 I read that in Roger's voice.

    • @patrickkelmer6290
      @patrickkelmer6290 Рік тому +7

      @@sangheiliwarrior86 *Excellent*

  • @anthonyguidas2012
    @anthonyguidas2012 Рік тому +59

    Batwoman: I’m the most annoying and offensive show ever made.
    Velma: hold my beer 🍺

    • @ramiel3759
      @ramiel3759 Рік тому +5

      Batwoman is not annoying,quite the opposite its peak comedy

  • @KelShu
    @KelShu Рік тому +8

    This show is an IP parasite, the only reason that it got off the ground was because it attached itself to Scooby Doo's brand.

  • @chefboiardeeznutz9881
    @chefboiardeeznutz9881 Рік тому +20

    They're in high school...but people's legs are getting cut off, walking around with guns, and falling out of lockers with their head cut open. What the hell is going on?!?!?

    • @shcdemolisher
      @shcdemolisher Рік тому +1

      Yeah, in real life that school would be shut down and people sent to a max security prison!

    • @chefboiardeeznutz9881
      @chefboiardeeznutz9881 Рік тому

      @@shcdemolisher I mean, not in the hood maybe 😭😂

  • @Whyexes
    @Whyexes Рік тому +8

    It physically pains me to have it revealed that Glenn Howerton is doing the voice of Fred. What an utter waste of monumental comedy talent, holy shit.
    Also its weird to watch a show that is so openly anti-white. Like its literally just openly racist. Normally they mask it A LITTLE.

  • @rinslittlesheepling1652
    @rinslittlesheepling1652 Рік тому +31

    Fred was the only funny character in this shitshow. Can we have "douchy Fred" spinoff out of this mess, with him eventually growing into Fred as we know him? That would have been hilarious.

    • @minespatch
      @minespatch Рік тому

      Cause character development is way more relatable than a snarky asshole who gets everything she wants.

    • @fantasticmrmonk
      @fantasticmrmonk Рік тому +10

      A show about character growth for a white male focus? I like to dream too but let’s be real here…

  • @MikeBarbarossa
    @MikeBarbarossa Рік тому +5

    This all boils down to " White guys, amirite?" and "lesbian kiss, hot, j'yeah!"

  • @zrc1514
    @zrc1514 Рік тому +16

    I miss Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated so much. Now that was the bomb.

  • @Noots69
    @Noots69 Рік тому +14

    I'm sorry that I can't finish watching this, it just makes me sad

  • @blissfulinsomniac5711
    @blissfulinsomniac5711 Рік тому +13

    "Why are you Indian with a white last name"? That happens all the time, actually. India was colonized by the Brits...

    • @insertnamehere5809
      @insertnamehere5809 Рік тому

      That only happens in Sri Lanka, Anglo Indians are a tiny minority

  • @toastedbabybuns1000
    @toastedbabybuns1000 Рік тому +8

    @21:46 as a mulatto myself, the new shaggy just looks straight up black. It doesn't make sense. They even gave him two tone texture for his hands which is something mixed people don't usually have...

    • @iamthewizardwhoknocks2845
      @iamthewizardwhoknocks2845 Рік тому +1

      Not sure he's supposed to be mulatto, his stepfather probably took care of another man's kid.

  • @stephenlanuto5993
    @stephenlanuto5993 Рік тому +16

    Poor jlongbone, you're going to end up with Az's rage, including the accent

  • @khfan4life365
    @khfan4life365 Рік тому +13

    The hate this show is getting is well-deserved. Taking an innocuous show like Scooby Doo and turning it into something like this is beyond the pale.

  • @EmoBunny69
    @EmoBunny69 Рік тому +11

    Velma, and their “Rocket Power” ass ending cards. 😂😂🤣🤣

  • @thisisjcgreen9646
    @thisisjcgreen9646 Рік тому +15

    Anyone who got the Hand of Evil reference can consider themselves a friend of mine.

  • @SmolStall
    @SmolStall Рік тому +13

    Ive seen more subtlety in Family Guy skits then this show.

  • @sheeplywaltz5183
    @sheeplywaltz5183 Рік тому +49

    Why does Jack want the hex girls in this show??? He knows damn well that if they were included at least one of them will be overweight

    • @hope-cat4894
      @hope-cat4894 Рік тому

      They would make them all black like they did Josie and the Pussycats in the CW Riverdale show.

    • @jextra1313
      @jextra1313 Рік тому +15

      And one would be in a burka and the other would be a lesbian. Which makes total sense because they're all minorities and would 100% get along irl.

    • @petergriffin-tu6ug
      @petergriffin-tu6ug Рік тому +5

      no
      all of them

    • @Klonoahedgehog
      @Klonoahedgehog Рік тому +1

      It'd be the blonde who'd be fat.

    • @Here_is_Waldo
      @Here_is_Waldo Рік тому

      Nothing wrong with a character being overweight, wearing a burka or being a lesbian if it's part of their personality; not ALL of their personality.

  • @TrueBuddhaCat
    @TrueBuddhaCat Рік тому +44

    Oh hell......may god help you guys
    Also Jack, don't mention the Hex Girls because they will ruin them!

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy Рік тому +1

      For the love of god please not the hex girls not my original exposure to goth girls

    • @xFlareLeon
      @xFlareLeon 2 місяці тому

      @@crawlingboy I'm sorry to say they have. Thorn has been defiled by this show.

  • @mikefidborg1
    @mikefidborg1 Рік тому +9

    Kaling probably pitched this self insertion therapy session full of hatred and insecurities to hbo with original characters but got turned down, so the solution was to sacrifice another beloved IP in the wokeism altar and piggyback her shit into the Scooby-Doo gang. So stunning and brave

  • @cranberryrosebud
    @cranberryrosebud Рік тому +39

    This show hurts. It causes me physical pain. What else causes me physical pain is that people are actually trying to have some kind of political/social issue discussion around this show (most of it coming from a place of dislike, just to be clear), but it just doesn't deserve it - it didn't earn it at all. There are people out there who actually have insight to provide on these things, who are willing to put effort into presenting it well, and the team behind this abomination definitely aren't those kinds of people.
    Also, Velma and Daphne aren't together because the writers actually wanted to create good LGBT representation, they're being deliberately provocative, if not exploitative. This show is cynical and mean-spirited and seemingly meant as a downright insult to fans of Scooby-Doo, I'm not giving it any benefit of the doubt, and you won't convince me that anyone working on it meant it as something to genuinely start a conversation or be progressive, they're just being bitter in a really obnoxious way.
    Also, most of the animation is rather bland and ugly, and I would like that trend to die soon. Encourage effort, it's really not that hard.

  • @stanbai5263
    @stanbai5263 Рік тому +11

    Okay, but why is American Dad a more light hearted show??

  • @Adamguy2003
    @Adamguy2003 Рік тому +21

    I knew JLongbone would have some fun with this dungheap of a series, but being joined by her buddies bcala and thisisjcgreen9646 makes it even better and funnier!
    "Why does an Indian girl have a white last name?"
    YES! THANK YOU!
    The "Mandy vs. Velma" jokes early on had me not just howling with laughter, but even ironically enough unintentionally doing the Scooby- Doo laugh ("REE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!").
    Mandy from the overpriced toilet paper known as "I Am Not Starfire" and Velma in this abominable show are indeed cut from the same rotted, toxic, insect- infested, feces- stained cloth.
    5:55- 6:00 had me laughing so hard, too!
    Daphne was indeed the rich one in 'Scooby Doo,' not Fred.
    "Normally origin stories are about tall, handsome guys struggling with the burden of being handed even more power."
    Yeah, like Captain America!
    Oh, wait: He was a small- framed, frail, probably- poor asthmatic who was chosen to be a super- soldier due to the genuinely good, noble heart he had deep down and the fact that he was motivated by a purely selfless moral obligation to put his own life on the line in service of his country as he had seen so many others do. Never mind.
    Or, like Dr. Strange!
    Oh, wait: He was a highly- respected doctor who presumably worked and studied his butt off to gain his medical skills and reputation, only to lose all that AND every penny he had to his name in a car accident that mangled his hands, sought out mystical remedies as his last hope of regaining the use of his hands, and only gained magical abilities and became Sorcerer Supreme after AGAIN working and studying his butt off in order to properly earn that title. Never mind.
    Or, like Deadpool!
    Oh, wait: He was a mercenary with terminal cancer who joined the Weapon X program because it was his only hope of a cure, and it did give him a cure and a healing factor, but at the cost that it came about through a series of hellish, torturous experiments that hideously disfigured him and drove him almost completely insane. Never mind.
    Good observations on the "Lebron" part!
    Frank Welker must have had some SERIOUS money problems to agree to voice Fred's dad in this revolting series that completely disgraces his most well- known voice role. That, or maybe Mindy Kaling was able to blackmail him over something.
    Oh, and one more thing: If you want to see an adult take on 'Scooby Doo' that's actually GOOD, check out the live- action UA-cam fan series 'Mystery Incorporated.' It's like a cross between 'Scooby- Doo,' 'Riverdale,' and a dash of 'Supernatural,' and it was clearly made with intelligence, real effort, and a sincere desire to honor the franchise (There are LOADS of references to multiple different versions of the gang, as well as to other Hanna Barbera properties). They've only made one episode so far, but it is awesome, and episode 2 is I believe already in production. Check it out!

    • @sarahb.7175
      @sarahb.7175 2 місяці тому +1

      What about Hulk?
      Oh wait, his abilities are more of a curse that cost him dearly, physically and emotionally. Don't think that counts. And he's kinda average, IMO.
      Oh! Batman!
      Wait, no, he suffered a horrific loss at an early age and sublimated his grief and rage by channeling them (and a crap ton of his wealth) into vigilante superhero work to help people.
      Iron Man!
      Wait. Not a hundred percent sure on this, but wasn't he kidnapped by terrorists and forced to make gizmos for them and he used his brains and resources to build a suit for himself so he could do superhero stuff?
      Uh... Zorro?
      No, he's not handed any powers. He sees the oppression of the people and works and trains really hard to become an awesomely skilled fighter to help them.
      (Weird, a lot of rich guys using their time and money, and risking their reputations and their lives, to help the common folk...)
      Hmm, Thor?
      Doesn't he lose his power and have to earn it back or something by becoming a better person?
      Hawkeye?
      No, he doesn't have any powers, he just works like mad to be crazy skilled at archery.
      (Weird, a lot of these guys seem to have worked for their powers, and they're driven by a desire to help people.)
      Spiderman?
      Maybe... But isn't the whole point of his story that with great power comes great responsibility, and if you can't handle the responsibility, you don't deserve to be a hero?
      Neo/The One?
      No, he still has to work to come into his own.
      I'm running out of origin stories I know about...
      (And as a med student, I can confirm: money can buy you a med school education, but it can't buy the big brains, good study habits, resilience, and sheer bullheaded determination to get through year one, let alone four years and then four more years of residency.)

  • @genebaker511
    @genebaker511 Рік тому +5

    The shape of Norville's head looks like a glass of milkshake.

  • @elvickRULES
    @elvickRULES 8 місяців тому +1

    I've been putting this off because I never wanted to see any Velma and less than 1 minute into the video and I have to dip, because I just can't. Not even through you can I do this to myself. I refuse.

  • @ottobaron6392
    @ottobaron6392 Рік тому +4

    "Why aren't the Hex girls in this?" I don't want the Hex girls in this. I don't want any of the characters in this.

    • @xFlareLeon
      @xFlareLeon 2 місяці тому

      Too late. Thorn is now a wrinkled, has-been goth mom in this.

  • @sillyraccoon121
    @sillyraccoon121 Рік тому +10

    Wonderful The Thing reference, Lady Long of Bone.

  • @blankadams3120
    @blankadams3120 Рік тому +3

    Kaling International, Inc.
    Oh, Mindy, that's adorable! You think you're going to get work internationally after this tripe.

  • @GoldenRiderAtreyu
    @GoldenRiderAtreyu Рік тому +16

    I feel numbing yet blinding rage even from watching the small snippets of the show through this reaction.

    • @frug5629
      @frug5629 Рік тому +1

      One of the few shows that made me go from depression to livid righteous indignation.

  • @blankadams3120
    @blankadams3120 Рік тому +22

    Okay, posting this early into the video, but, it has been bugging me that Velma's mother's name is Diya, cause, I've never run into anyone with that name. So, I looked it up. On one hand, diya are lamps shaped like lotus flowers, on the other hand, Diya is an Indian horror about a little girl born to two parents who had their first child aborted, and now she's apparently systematically murdering every member of their families. So, I'm going to go out on a limb and say Velma's mom's the killer.

  • @xedalpha1
    @xedalpha1 Рік тому +1

    Can you imagine if In season 2 the execs mandated characters could only make jokes about the race the character is from.

  • @helios-nd4qp
    @helios-nd4qp Рік тому +5

    I understand now Mindy is killing off her writing staff every time they accidentally write an actual joke.

  • @kiplingwasafurry1108
    @kiplingwasafurry1108 Рік тому +8

    You guys and Carl have the gift of turning the most unwatchable and annoying pieces of media into a comedic goldmine, that is true talent.

  • @munee3000
    @munee3000 Рік тому +4

    "Mindy Kaling herself!...... Oh two Mindy Kalings!"

  • @catus-cactus
    @catus-cactus Рік тому +602

    I hate this flat Steven Universe art style that everyone is adopting

    • @ramjet94
      @ramjet94 Рік тому +78

      Bruh this is nowhere close to Steven universe without many sharp angles and dark shadows, and completely different color pallette and backgrounds this has.
      Stop using shows you don't like as labels for completely unrelated artstylesm

    • @PatchouliKnowledge22
      @PatchouliKnowledge22 Рік тому +121

      Not "calarts" style.
      Still bland and generic though.

    • @Shockguey
      @Shockguey Рік тому +88

      @@ramjet94 No I see it.
      Velma is basically that purple character with the deformed lip.
      Also Calarts has more than one style that emerged from it.

    • @catus-cactus
      @catus-cactus Рік тому +31

      @@ramjet94 Adopting not an exact copy.

    • @Awful.Productions
      @Awful.Productions Рік тому

      @@ramjet94 it's the same thick line toon trash, it tracks, go stan your cartoon elsewhere

  • @ghostshrimp5006
    @ghostshrimp5006 Рік тому +18

    If you wanna watch something that heals your favorite Scooby Doo, then I suggest mystery Incorporated, considered the best of Scooby Doo outside of the DIRECTVHS movies

  • @AngryBootneck
    @AngryBootneck Рік тому +4

    Clearly this show should be called "Fat and Ill-Tempered"

  • @mephistopheles4910
    @mephistopheles4910 Рік тому +12

    11:56 - 11:59 a great summation of Norville.
    That observation about Velma not doing one single smart thing in the first episode is spot on. Even in the second episode, Velma does nothing that warrants the observation that she's "smart".
    This show is a vanity project where the writing does all it can to make the main character, and executive producer, look good but fails due to their inability to develop a cohesive story and develop well balanced characters with attributes to attract them to the audience.

  • @Kernwadi
    @Kernwadi Рік тому +34

    I love this show... It's memorable, it's dramatic, it's racist... things happen.
    *Literal perfection.*

  • @RanMouri82
    @RanMouri82 Рік тому +8

    7:15 How dare you remind me of ValiDate?! 🤣

  • @Sarahonwheels
    @Sarahonwheels Рік тому +14

    They really put Scooby’s laugh in a show that removes Scooby doo! 😂
    And then they got frank too. ( what’s the point)

  • @darwinxavier3516
    @darwinxavier3516 Рік тому +4

    Aww, fuck no. They dragged Frank Welker into this abortion.

  • @sherlock7898
    @sherlock7898 Рік тому +11

    "She has no brain!"
    Burst Angel: "Hey, look its one of the writers."
    Man woke up and chose violence.

  • @Mat-zf9bf
    @Mat-zf9bf Рік тому +7

    It's here.
    Oh God.
    Brace yaselves, it's gonna get messy, like Mindy's toilet bowl after some trash fries.

  • @TheCrystalBlood
    @TheCrystalBlood Рік тому +39

    It's crazy how much more entertaining the commentary is compared to the actual show. Well done guys!

  • @jamthesnitch9847
    @jamthesnitch9847 Рік тому +3

    *>She has no brain!!!*
    "Oh hey, it's one of the writers."
    That actually got me. LOL

  • @mbob4337
    @mbob4337 Рік тому +5

    I like how Velma perfectly described Rey Palpatine in her first lines.

  • @DeusNyx
    @DeusNyx Рік тому +3

    The shows' VA: "SHE HAS NO BRAIN!!!"
    "...it's one of the writers" Brilliant, effing brilliant!

  • @ErichoTTA
    @ErichoTTA 11 місяців тому +2

    This is why I hate Hari Kondabolu too much. He said Apu was devious and then we get Velma as the most devious cartoon character in all of history. Mindy Kaling is a racist. She thinks Indians are better than white people.

  • @Nabinut
    @Nabinut Рік тому +4

    15:15 Mindy Kaling and the writers were so busy trying to match the ethnicity/sexuality of their characters to the Voice Actors, that they forgot to write a decent story, which would incorporate all those "traits" naturally and not be something so obvious to the viewer.

  • @EpicJasonX9000
    @EpicJasonX9000 Рік тому +8

    this pure bile of a show makes the movie Bio Dome look like a masterpiece by comparison.

  • @hermannlagrange803
    @hermannlagrange803 Рік тому +5

    I legitimately thought the scene of Velma coming to school dressed 'normally' was a fever dream of hers.
    Someone's damn leg gets chopped off and no one seems to react to or or care...WTH is this show suppose to be?

    • @tiamystic
      @tiamystic Рік тому

      Every scene in this show is tonally jarring in some way that I’m dying to know weather this was a parody or not