The Worst 'Home Alone' Sequel To Date (w/@BurstAngel15, @SinglePlayerCarl, and @Jack!)

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  • Опубліковано 15 лис 2024

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  • @JLongbone
    @JLongbone  2 роки тому +165

    Disney's robbing me, of course, so if ya want...
    ►Become a Patron!
    www.patreon.com/JLongbone OR
    ►Donate!
    www.paypal.me/BoneyLong

    • @matthewcherrington2634
      @matthewcherrington2634 2 роки тому

      Hes from jojo rabbit

    • @heyyo966
      @heyyo966 2 роки тому +1

      Could you look at the last of the zootopia Borba comic trilogy PLEASE (as well as the extra pages). Never Say Goodbye is on deviant art.

    • @betterlatethannever4529
      @betterlatethannever4529 2 роки тому

      Any chance you guys go back and watch the first two since one of you hadn't seen them?

    • @joshuagross3151
      @joshuagross3151 2 роки тому +2

      Because I like seeing you torture your friends with shitty movies, can you convince them to watch more shitty movies?

    • @doolittlecraftsmann302
      @doolittlecraftsmann302 2 роки тому +2

      I'm new here but I dig the Batwoman picture ♡

  • @joinsideke
    @joinsideke 2 роки тому +883

    You can't make the robbers sympathetic and then have the kid fire thumbtacks into their faces.

    • @valentinegonsalves7322
      @valentinegonsalves7322 2 роки тому +163

      Like Disney understands character and story telling at this point...
      They made a dog-murdering bitch a strong female protagonist you're supposed to love or else you're a misogynist.

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 2 роки тому +10

      @@valentinegonsalves7322 Are you referring to Cruella? Because in the new one she never killed any dogs unless that's your point, I'm not sure.

    • @cartooncritique6625
      @cartooncritique6625 2 роки тому +114

      @@RedRoseSeptember22 She might not have killed any dogs in the new film, but its still aping the old character that wanted a fur coat made out of puppies.

    • @oneandonlysound3453
      @oneandonlysound3453 2 роки тому +60

      @@cartooncritique6625 They seriously need to find something else to do besides take a villain and make them another "Wicked." As someone who still really enjoys "Malificient" (and less so Frozen which same thing really it's like the nice sympathetic version of the snow queen adaptation we never got really) enough is enough.
      Not to mention she doesn't truly commit to it at the end of the film making it stupid af that "Ella" would ever go full "Cruella" when she basically 2/3 quit on it in her own "origin story."

    • @darwinxavier3516
      @darwinxavier3516 2 роки тому +14

      @@RedRoseSeptember22 We all know where that character arc was going. They made way too many references to the better movies for Cruella to be anything but an attempt at an origin story. Even if its not an origin story and she's Cruella in name only in a standalone universe, she's still a completely unsympathetic bitch no matter how much transparent manipulation the movie throws at us.

  • @michaelstrong5383
    @michaelstrong5383 2 роки тому +783

    "Yeah, the first Home Alone movie was good and all, but you know what it needs? It needs to make Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern's characters really sympathetic and nice." *-No one except Disney*

    • @camarokidbb4347
      @camarokidbb4347 2 роки тому +127

      They also tried to make a puppy murderer sympathetic, so it’s not like this was completely implausible for Disney.

    • @randomwhittyname41
      @randomwhittyname41 2 роки тому +30

      Hollywood trying to make people sympathize with evil?
      Imagine My Shock

    • @shanedaley6236
      @shanedaley6236 2 роки тому +17

      Just no common sense anywhere in this entire movie Just no

    • @Darkshizumaru
      @Darkshizumaru 2 роки тому +17

      It didn't work though. These people refused to actually call the cops to clear it up. If it's this important why not?? They are too polite to call the cops but insane enough to break and enter a home with a child alone like this is a thing you do???

    • @mrdropkicker1
      @mrdropkicker1 2 роки тому +10

      “… and also turn Kevin into a sadistic psycho…”

  • @electricbayonet2
    @electricbayonet2 2 роки тому +134

    35:32 "Hey, kids! Remember when Joe Pesci did that funny noise and made a goofy face after his hat was set on fire?"
    "Yeah!"
    "Well, here's a closeup shot of Ellie Kemper sobbing in pain!"
    "Is...is she the bad guy in this one?"
    "She and her husband are trying to save their home."
    "B...By stealing?"
    "No, by recovering their own stolen property."
    "......"
    "Merry Christmas!"

  • @michaelstrong5383
    @michaelstrong5383 2 роки тому +470

    This main character is way more likely to grow up and become Jigsaw than Kevin.

    • @greatclubsandwich5612
      @greatclubsandwich5612 2 роки тому +35

      And that's something considering Macaulay Culkin...

    • @amyrat151
      @amyrat151 2 роки тому +39

      There's something seriously wrong with that kid.

    • @Acesahn
      @Acesahn 2 роки тому +20

      You're assuming Kevin didn't grow up to be Jigsaw.

    • @dontcare3
      @dontcare3 2 роки тому +9

      @@Acesahn maybe a dark sequel where kevin grew up to be like that lol, i'd watch it.

    • @Acesahn
      @Acesahn 2 роки тому +12

      @@dontcare3 Watch "The Good Son"

  • @kylefrank638
    @kylefrank638 2 роки тому +330

    Remember that movie where the two despicable thieves get outwitted by a plucky kid? And like, the thieves had cartoony, slapstick reactions to the traps, even if the traps seemed really dangerous? Well, the remake really aught to have it so the "thieves" are trying to reclaim stolen property, and they're being assaulted by a monstrous little gremlin child. One of the thieves should full-on cry, in real anguish, after suffering one of his traps! It'll be a scream!

    • @ajsouza3720
      @ajsouza3720 2 роки тому +63

      Yes, EXACTLY!!! Slapstick does not work without comical over the top performances. If you show a person weeping on the ground obviously acting as though the pain they felt was real, then it's not slapstick. It's even worse if that character is sympathetic. It's so enfuriating how wrong *everything* is in this movie.

    • @michaelreyes9283
      @michaelreyes9283 2 роки тому +4

      You right about everything other than the stolen property. The kid never stole it but he did try to kill them

    • @cranberryrosebud
      @cranberryrosebud 2 роки тому +11

      @@michaelreyes9283 Yes, but the point is the thieves here had a clear, understandable motivation. The audience doesn't know he didn't steal it until the end either.
      Anyway, this movie's one of the worst things I've ever seen (or what I saw of it in this video).

    • @criticalsurria6773
      @criticalsurria6773 2 роки тому +2

      For we must all appear before “the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” (2 Corinthians 5:10)
      We will be judged for every deed we do whether is be good or bad. This isn’t something to worry about even if our bad deeds out weigh our good. Because none are good before God, all have sinned against Him and cursed His name, but He in His tender loving mercy hath given us His Son as our ransom. When Jesus was dying all of Gods wrath and judgement was poured out onto Him even though He was sinless. He was sacrificed and tortured on our behalf though we are sinful and carnal. Christ payed our sin debt with His perfect sinless blood so we may escape judgment and have everlasting life. But this great gift is only for those who accept it and accept Him ❤️

    • @kylefrank638
      @kylefrank638 2 роки тому +5

      @@criticalsurria6773 "Gods" needs an apostrophe in there, or it looks like you're blaspheming. I hope you are ready for your judgement.

  • @YT1300MF
    @YT1300MF 2 роки тому +237

    I’m actually offended they were reusing the music from the two good movies, like bitch you didn’t earn those heartfelt John Williams cues.

    • @darwinxavier3516
      @darwinxavier3516 2 роки тому +25

      The theme was redone, but I could still tell they were nostalgia baiting the original, except it was worse. It was like hearing OG Star Wars themes slightly tweaked in Force Awakens. It made me mad too.

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 2 роки тому +19

      >"REMAKES SUCKS! LEAVE THE CLASSICS ALONE!!"
      *>(plays "Somewhere in my Memory" seconds later)*
      It's amazing how this film tried to be self-aware for one second, but then did the exact thing they jabbed at afterwards.

  • @RogueFox2185
    @RogueFox2185 2 роки тому +477

    “Here’s another Home Alone Remake; you may not have asked for this but here it is.” -Extra Credit

    • @daveholland6293
      @daveholland6293 2 роки тому +43

      "If you play the Germans in a WW2 video game you are a N*zi" - Extra Credits

    • @austin9568AuraMasterDX
      @austin9568AuraMasterDX 2 роки тому +26

      Everyone: Wait, there's another one?

    • @AnimaVox_
      @AnimaVox_ 2 роки тому +33

      @@austin9568AuraMasterDX My reaction when I found out this was the sixth Home Alone movie. I didn't even know there was a fifth.

    • @youdarnweebsgetoffmylawn
      @youdarnweebsgetoffmylawn 2 роки тому +41

      "Here you are on Christmas day, preparing to watch the original Home Alone. And all of a sudden, a new terrible Home Alone sequel came out. You didn't ask for this, you didn't choose this, but here it is."

    • @scottydu81
      @scottydu81 2 роки тому +5

      @@AnimaVox_ Did you know that there were seven total Robocop movie films?

  • @KelShu
    @KelShu 2 роки тому +442

    Compared to this new one, the first Home Alone was more heartfelt, Kevin's feelings towards his family being gone developing into missing his family, the mom's journey home, and the Old Man Marley scenes, and it all comes together in the end quite nicely.

    • @MrOrcshaman
      @MrOrcshaman 2 роки тому +15

      I went out and brought the OG home alone on bluray after seeing this review, just so I could be reminded of happier times, and just incase disney gets licencing rights to home alone and alters the original to make it up to their standards 🤮

    • @harry426
      @harry426 2 роки тому +21

      Add to this the character development for both Kevin AND his mother, how he became more self-reliable and how she realises how she treated him. What a good, well-made movie.

    • @MrOrcshaman
      @MrOrcshaman Рік тому +8

      @@harry426 only downside is how no karma is served to uncle Frank. I mean buzz has his room destroyed so karma, but Frank, the most deplorable bastard in the two movies, never gets karma

  • @LilLadyAy
    @LilLadyAy 2 роки тому +224

    This brat doesn't even keep his distance from them and all of his traps just seem like something he did because he was bored. Killer origin story.

  • @phyzarel1845
    @phyzarel1845 2 роки тому +191

    The reason why the originals Kevin was sympathetic is because he WAS treated poorly even if it was just little stuff like his cousin calling him incompetent, his oldest cousin trying to scare him, and his mom actually being rude to him made him not seem bratty but rather reasonably pissed. This… he’s just complaining and they never gave us a good reason to care. Also the plot with the robbers is so unintelligibly not clever I could dig a hole and take a dump in it and come back a month later and have more developed plot than this garbage.

    • @reginlief1
      @reginlief1 Рік тому +15

      …more developed plot.
      Genius analogy.

    • @elvickRULES
      @elvickRULES 11 місяців тому +12

      His brother outright abused him, and ate all his pizza on purpose just so he wouldn’t have any and he gets punished for standing up for himself.

  • @dannphan
    @dannphan 2 роки тому +57

    this movie is the epitome of "nothing matters"

    • @ajsouza3720
      @ajsouza3720 2 роки тому +10

      I swear all the youtubers I watch watch each others content lol

    • @UmbraMan1
      @UmbraMan1 2 роки тому +6

      I can’t even just turn my brain off and laugh at the pranks

  • @WarGhoulKharas
    @WarGhoulKharas 2 роки тому +288

    Funny fact, the guy who played Buzz McAllister just got arrested for strangling his girlfriend a week ago.

    • @ajsouza3720
      @ajsouza3720 2 роки тому +33

      😶

    • @cartooncritique6625
      @cartooncritique6625 2 роки тому +61

      Damn, and I thought Macaulay Culkin hit rock bottom after his fame dried up. :/

    • @ajsouza3720
      @ajsouza3720 2 роки тому +119

      @@cartooncritique6625 Nah man Macaulay Culkin is doing great, he got to meet Hollywood superstar Rich Evans!

    • @dimitriwarchief301
      @dimitriwarchief301 2 роки тому +16

      I like that this is hearted
      Oh it’s “funny” becomes his a cop
      Oh that is dark that is

    • @fantasticmrmonk
      @fantasticmrmonk 2 роки тому +32

      Shame to hear, but the irony is certainly amusing.

  • @naterivers6107
    @naterivers6107 2 роки тому +217

    Okay, so the Wet Bandits fully deserved everything that happened to them, and it was kept well within the realm of slapstick comedy. They never cried, they never took lasting damage, and when they did get punished, it was kept as slap stick.

    • @dimitriwarchief301
      @dimitriwarchief301 2 роки тому +12

      Yes

    • @flowerpatchtoons1101
      @flowerpatchtoons1101 2 роки тому +22

      No there not the wet bandits anymore there the sticky bandits! Don't you remember home alone 2?

    • @naterivers6107
      @naterivers6107 2 роки тому +5

      @@flowerpatchtoons1101 I try to forget it, stop impeding my progress.

    • @stevenschnepp576
      @stevenschnepp576 2 роки тому +7

      They absolutely took lasting damage.
      They just were portrayed as villains all the way through, and came off as more sinister and menacing rather than pitiful as Kevin's traps harmed them and made them angrier and angrier.
      Also, it was funny.

    • @naterivers6107
      @naterivers6107 2 роки тому +21

      @@stevenschnepp576 Okay, let me rephrase, take medically significant damage and appear to be suffering after. Like if Marv took that iron to the face and went blind in that eye and looked visibly dizzy it's not going to be nearly as funny has he gets, sorta wails for a moment and then the only thing remaining a moment later is a red mark on his face. That's what I mean by lasting damage. Being worn down still does fallow this rule, but the key is not to convey suffering. For more on this, look at what happens to Marv when he steps on a nail and then broken glass versus when John Mclain from Die Hard stepped on broken glass.

  • @MrNinjaBurger
    @MrNinjaBurger 2 роки тому +188

    I don't understand how or why the "villains" would stay in contact with that family after their kid tried to legit murder them. Like misunderstanding or not I'm pretty sure I ain't chilling or keeping those people on my xmas card list.

    • @michaelreyes9283
      @michaelreyes9283 2 роки тому +4

      They invited him to their house lol but he did basically give them 20k

  • @silverscorpio24
    @silverscorpio24 2 роки тому +61

    "Give my luggage a tuggage."
    -- "Kid-friendly" Disney movie, 2021

  • @greatclubsandwich5612
    @greatclubsandwich5612 2 роки тому +253

    This movie would make more sense if the kids family had the doll to begin with and didn't know it's value, and the other family was trying to steal it because of greed... As it stands the kid is in the wrong entirely and the only mistake the other family made was to not call the cops and instead go "B&E? Naw It'll be fine..."

    • @dimitriwarchief301
      @dimitriwarchief301 2 роки тому +7

      Why wasn’t this the movke

    • @michaelreyes9283
      @michaelreyes9283 2 роки тому +2

      I don't see how he's in the wrong, he never took the doll and just tortured the family that tried to break in. I think in the end it showed that that the brother's kid took the doll and was playing with it throughout the movie until throwing down the stairs

    • @appleglassjuice11
      @appleglassjuice11 2 роки тому +15

      @@michaelreyes9283 He's in the wrong because he's a fucking shithead the entire movie and tried to murder them without even talking to them.

    • @greatclubsandwich5612
      @greatclubsandwich5612 2 роки тому +17

      @@michaelreyes9283 So he thought that they were trying to kidnap him and traffic him... So instead of calling the cops, or just leaving... He literally does his best to MAIM and/or MURDER them... Like there are limits to castle doctrine... I don't think toying with them for his amusement is fair game. And thats all besides the point that the twist ending just makes everyone involved look like absolute idiots.

    • @greatclubsandwich5612
      @greatclubsandwich5612 2 роки тому +12

      @@dimitriwarchief301 Like I could write a better script in 5 min on a napkin... Kids family has the doll and the parents are selling the house. The couple are doing an open house and spot it on a shelf. Have the mother talk about how its a family heirloom from her grandmother and it has sentimental value. Have the couple decide to stage a burglary to cover that they are only after the doll. The kid is actually old enough in this movie to have being home alone not be a problem so no convoluted bullshit necessary, just have the mom be away visiting an aunt before Christmas or something and have a snowstorm snow them in so they can't be home for Christmas and knock out the power. Have the kid play on his phone while bored until it is out of battery (justifies not calling cops) and have it be a blizzard outside (justifies not simply running away.) Have couple break in and have him make traps quickly and improvised. End movie with the kids creepy neighbor coming by to check on him and saving him from the couple (who have gone full on murder from the bullshit) revealing he's not that creepy after all (Macaulay Culkin cameo). Have them go to the local church for a big Christmas charity dinner and force in that Christmas whimsy... Boom better script.

  • @randox124
    @randox124 2 роки тому +85

    Now I do want a black Home Alone.
    "Hood Alone" or some shit, idk lol

    • @RazorTrap
      @RazorTrap 2 роки тому +36

      "Homie Loan: Debt traps"

    • @The_Ballo
      @The_Ballo Рік тому +6

      Oh God, just imagine the cop interaction with that remake

    • @rooksclown316
      @rooksclown316 10 місяців тому +3

      Home Alone in the Ghetto

    • @ab-gail
      @ab-gail 2 місяці тому +1

      LOL Hood alone

    • @ab-gail
      @ab-gail 2 місяці тому +1

      @@rooksclown316 Ghettome Alone

  • @swiftersunite
    @swiftersunite 2 роки тому +131

    “Honestly, he seems like more of a sociopath than Kevin Mcalester” *woman gets lit on fire, as if to prove J’s point*

  • @silverscorpio24
    @silverscorpio24 2 роки тому +27

    "You've ruined my Christmas. I'm Jewish now."
    🤣🤣🤣

  • @RanMouri82
    @RanMouri82 2 роки тому +137

    14:11 No. That CAN'T be the plot. Nobody would be stupid enough to plan a home invasion around an expensive doll. Ugh, it is the plot, isn't it?

    • @oneandonlysound3453
      @oneandonlysound3453 2 роки тому +14

      I mean 5 did it over a painting but...the house wasn't owned by rich people...and they had zero idea there was even a sub-area in the house...and the leader was a criminal through and through...and...ok yeah 5: Holiday Heist was still pretty trash, just the least trash of the three dumpster fire home alone films (4, 5, and 6, 3 is underrated af)

    • @coranbaker6401
      @coranbaker6401 2 роки тому +5

      A doll that may or may not be expensive cause all he saw was the first result on Ebay.

  • @InBetweenMolecules
    @InBetweenMolecules 2 роки тому +280

    I hate that Archie Yates (the kid) is going to be known for this insufferable character, when he was so loveable in JoJo Rabbit.

    • @mrdropkicker1
      @mrdropkicker1 2 роки тому +24

      Oh shoot! Same kid? I didn’t even notice

    • @Quickdrawingartist
      @Quickdrawingartist 2 роки тому +23

      No, we must erase this trash from existence.

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 2 роки тому +59

      I feel so sorry for the kid too. He tried to add charm to an insufferable character, but it completely imploded

    • @InBetweenMolecules
      @InBetweenMolecules 2 роки тому +27

      @@mrdropkicker1 He was Jojo's best friend, Yorkie.

    • @everythingisawesome2903
      @everythingisawesome2903 2 роки тому +22

      Same, man. He was actually my favourite character in Jojo Rabbit cause he was so cute and likable there lol but it sucks how in this movie they managed to make him so unlikable. You know you fucked it up when it's the robbers who are coming across as sympathetic.

  • @ZehnWaters
    @ZehnWaters 2 роки тому +61

    What pissed me off the most was their use of John William's touching music for this piece of garbage.

    • @ZehnWaters
      @ZehnWaters 2 роки тому +2

      "Who goes to JAPAN for Christmas?" That's actually a good question. Europe has all kinds of festivities.

  • @10forthebigguy61
    @10forthebigguy61 2 роки тому +114

    Wow that was god awful. The kid was the antagonist.

  • @blankadams3120
    @blankadams3120 2 роки тому +97

    So, this movie apparently decided to merge Home Alone and Christmas Story? What with the fantasy scene from the robbers' side and then from the kid's side...
    The plate given to the father was a chicken breast, traditionally, it's a weight loss meal... suggesting the host thinks Dad there could lose some weight...

  • @sp0rkenste1n46
    @sp0rkenste1n46 2 роки тому +17

    Not since Joffrey have I wanted to see a kid get Spartan kicked into a bottomless pit so bad.

  • @AnimaVox_
    @AnimaVox_ 2 роки тому +144

    This was supposed to release to theaters? It looks more like a really low-budget TV movie. Like, not even B-movie levels of effort. Watch this be a tax write-off.
    EDIT: In retrospect, Home Alone 2 & 3 weren't that bad. They were repetitive, sure, because there's only so much you can do with this premise, but they at least had good slapstick and more heart.

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 2 роки тому +50

      Even Home Alone 3 understood that the villains have to be unlikable in order for the traps to work. And that was the one with the cyber-terrorists!

    • @evilherodiamondcat
      @evilherodiamondcat 2 роки тому +15

      2 is considered bad? Since when?

    • @AnimaVox_
      @AnimaVox_ 2 роки тому +8

      @@evilherodiamondcat Not so much bad as kind of a rehash. It has pretty much the same story beats as the first, even with the 'mysterious old person that turns out to be helpful' trope. Like I said, it's hard to do something new with this sort of premise.

    • @evilherodiamondcat
      @evilherodiamondcat 2 роки тому +1

      @@AnimaVox_ That's fair.

    • @jacknapier8201
      @jacknapier8201 2 роки тому

      What about 4 and 5?

  • @rinslittlesheepling1652
    @rinslittlesheepling1652 2 роки тому +32

    >Jlongbone on a rhino
    I just want to say that I like how rhino is everyone's EFAP-related spiritual animal at this point.

  • @annatardlordofderps9181
    @annatardlordofderps9181 2 роки тому +139

    So the villainous thieves are now characterized as bumbling bafoonish incompetents that only ended up in their position because of moral cowardice.
    That's *your* doll, all you have to do is ask for it back, but they don't.
    Plus the parents are made to appear as negligent. While it's still negligent for the McAllisters to forget Kevin in the original, they had over a dozen kids to keep track of and had multiple scenes setting up *how* it occurred. These parents seem like they would just leave their kids behind for little reason.
    Just more of the _New Sensibilities_ acting themselves out.

  • @jennycomelately
    @jennycomelately 2 роки тому +77

    JLongbone’s editor is my favorite character in the new Home Alone movie.

  • @papershadow
    @papershadow 2 роки тому +187

    Okay I already hated the kid because he played annoying bratty stereotypes up to 11, and had a really unsubstantiated-by-the-movie "no one cares about me!" attitude. Then we get to the traps and these things are like actual attempts to kill people. Who looked at this movie and thought that kind of sociopathy was okay in the kid?
    Example: The Nerf Turrets would be fine as a "mess with them and disorient" type of set up, maybe gets them to fall on their ass over a couch or something. Then someone decided to put thumb tacks in the thing, which could actually put an eye out at the MINIMUM on someone. It's just adding sadism to the trap for no reason despite us knowing the "thieves" in this movie aren't amoral people like the original film.
    It's a weird contradiction because making them sympathetic seems like they want to make a feel good "see, nobody has to have it that bad in the end" story, but then they up the sadism on the traps on top of them being questionably deserved in the first place.

    • @RobertMorgan
      @RobertMorgan 2 роки тому +37

      You've triggered my distraction trap, a 12 gauge shotgun aimed at your knees! How mischievous

    • @fluff6811
      @fluff6811 2 роки тому +24

      I wonder how far they could go before general audiences think they’re taking it too far with the trap’s lethality and start seeing the kid as the real villain

    • @Jesei1211
      @Jesei1211 2 роки тому +4

      OG Kevin did the thing with the nail in the staircase and the iron thing hitting the guy in the head. I hate all Home Alone movies I'm not trying to defend the new one but OG Kevins traps seems alot more lethal than the thing you described.

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 2 роки тому +32

      @@Jesei1211 Yes but Harry and Marv were actual criminals and so I feel no sympathy for them.

    • @zeldamon4420
      @zeldamon4420 2 роки тому +39

      @@RedRoseSeptember22 Hary and Marty also had loony tune physics with how they shrugged off thier injuries easily.

  • @abrahemsamander3967
    @abrahemsamander3967 2 роки тому +10

    “Tipsy bartender.” Almost thought he said gypsy bartender lol. That gives me an idea for a bar name though, the tipsy gypsy.

  • @The_mechanick
    @The_mechanick 2 роки тому +8

    “If we put our necks together we can make a single moviebob.”
    IM FUCKING DYING LAUGHING

  • @greathoundii6142
    @greathoundii6142 2 роки тому +115

    18:34 Hollywood, being self aware doesn't absolve you for the list of awful movies.

    • @kylefrank638
      @kylefrank638 2 роки тому +23

      One of the writers for this put that on a sheet of paper, and high-fived the hell out of themselves. Damn that was so clever

    • @darwinxavier3516
      @darwinxavier3516 2 роки тому +13

      Fuck you, Disney. You don't get to call it out while you're willfully doing it.

    • @dimitriwarchief301
      @dimitriwarchief301 2 роки тому +6

      This joke needs to die

    • @elvickRULES
      @elvickRULES 2 роки тому +5

      Xmen Apocalypse did something similar “the third is always the worst” and it was the third film in the soft reboot series and it was also the worst. They wanted to wink at Xmen Last Stand, but… (granted Dark Phoenix might be worse never bothered with it)

    • @cranberryrosebud
      @cranberryrosebud 2 роки тому +7

      It'd be like the princess in one of those remakes defending her original movie - the audience doesn't go, "Haha, good one, Disney!", they get even more frustrated, because it's like Disney saying they shouldn't have made the movie but they did, just for money. Admitting you're shallow and that you've lost all artistic integrity doesn't make the movie good, ffs.
      Then again, all those interviews with the remake directors where they act like they've made a masterpiece are also painful, so I guess there's no way you can win after ruining a classic.

  • @mikeyjamieson4715
    @mikeyjamieson4715 2 роки тому +7

    They would get the money from the doll for the house, until they would have to spend most of it on medical bills after all the injuries from that little sociopath.

  • @SvendleBerries
    @SvendleBerries 2 роки тому +88

    I saw "marvel" in the description and thought Marvel was involved with the making of this movie. Then I realized it was meant as a sarcastic jab lol Hollywoods blurred line between reality and satire is complete.

  • @scarfhat1
    @scarfhat1 2 роки тому +7

    "The james corden of children"
    The truthest truth i ever herd

  • @GentleGiantJoe
    @GentleGiantJoe 2 роки тому +30

    The art watermark btw is epic, def needs to be in a comic book.

    • @dimitriwarchief301
      @dimitriwarchief301 2 роки тому +5

      She should be in a parody of modern comics and fight em or something

  • @CRIMI0N
    @CRIMI0N 2 роки тому +40

    Milk is the worst thing to use to burn someone's mouth.
    Milk can pretty much get rid of spicy sensations in your mouth, it's the best thing to use.

    • @LegacyComics100
      @LegacyComics100 2 роки тому

      Is Milk flammable?

    • @MrNickPresley
      @MrNickPresley 2 роки тому +8

      @@LegacyComics100 it might be, but I’d have to question what they feed those cows, and whether the milk is safe for human consumption.

    • @electricbayonet2
      @electricbayonet2 2 роки тому +10

      Yep. It's the reason why you sometimes see people pouring milk on other people's faces at riots: it's astonishingly effective at alleviating the effects of spicy air.

  • @Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets
    @Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets 2 роки тому +61

    How to make the movie better with one simple change: "Home Alone with Competent Robbers"
    Disney made the poor people (let's face it, they risk losing their house: they're poor) villains and the rich family that forgets their kids and poisons people the heroes. Why?
    *looks at Galactic Starcruiser hotel*
    Oh...

  • @kidkatanatv
    @kidkatanatv 2 роки тому +31

    Cops everyone, showing _negligence_ to possible child endangerment...wow

  • @weirdowithacello3481
    @weirdowithacello3481 2 роки тому +46

    34:37 Mentos and coke is an instantaneous reaction. You're NOT getting the cap back on quick enough to avoid a mess.

  • @isaackane4931
    @isaackane4931 2 роки тому +102

    Does Kenan Thompson not age? I swear he almost looks exactly like he did back in the days of Nickelodeon, just with facial hair.

  • @quietone2674
    @quietone2674 2 роки тому +15

    Wait...older Buzz gets a call about a B&E and dismisses it as a prank...because of Kevin's call in the past? But...shouldn't he be *more* likely to jump to action because of that? Since his little brother had that actual experience?

    • @xFlareLeon
      @xFlareLeon Рік тому +8

      The explanation is that Kevin keeps pranking him over it every year. While trolling Buzz is in-character for Kevin, you'd think the police would fine him or start bringing him in for wasting police resources.

  • @scaryhobbit211
    @scaryhobbit211 2 роки тому +19

    16:44 Oh God, they took John Williams' theme and TURNED IT INTO A CHINESE KNOCKOFF!
    Also, why couldn't the bad guy couple just call the mom and tell her to return the doll her kid stole, and then call the cops if they refuse?

  • @morticiamorella4101
    @morticiamorella4101 2 роки тому +75

    I like the 'to date' in the title, because I wouldn't be surprised if another sequel/reboot comes out within the next couple of years and it's even worse.

  • @eldenemerald7962
    @eldenemerald7962 2 роки тому +18

    42:23 "you ruined my Christmas, I'm Jewish now"
    43:30, thank me later
    43:36 "Home Alone has made an enemy today"

  • @radf-zf7ev
    @radf-zf7ev 2 роки тому +19

    The Skeletor edit followed by "it worked for the Grinch" 'bout killed me. :)

  • @acrab6527
    @acrab6527 2 роки тому +41

    Gotta steal me that $200k doll when there's a 10 million perfect full immersion VR device as a gag.

  • @oscargruber8582
    @oscargruber8582 2 роки тому +6

    The thumbnail got me crying
    Also the other families' parents forgive Not-Kevin for not having the doll forgetting this damn pre-teen maniac tried to actively murder them. It wasn't even an accident, the fucker tried to put them on fire, pierce them with icycles, modified nerf bullets, break several bones, cause a car crash on an icy road and break their skulls by dropping them from stairs and shooting them with fucking pool balls, not to mention that many of his ''Traps'' could cause concussions or brain damage to the parents.

  • @Fatality0999
    @Fatality0999 2 роки тому +47

    I like how Ellie Kemper is named Pam in this movie when she also starred in the office as Erin, who in turn was basically a discount Pam.

    • @ajsouza3720
      @ajsouza3720 2 роки тому +13

      No way it wasn't intentional.

  • @Maddog3060
    @Maddog3060 2 роки тому +24

    Where the movie was trash, y'all were gold. Wunderbar.

  • @kidkatanatv
    @kidkatanatv 2 роки тому +45

    All of these SNL people in this movie....starting to think they think they're actually funny....

  • @TheTsugnawmi2010
    @TheTsugnawmi2010 2 роки тому +21

    "...To Date..."
    I appreciate the title's.... optimism?

  • @evilherodiamondcat
    @evilherodiamondcat 2 роки тому +23

    Why is Harry Potter holding a rocket launcher in the thumbnail?

  • @mikeyjamieson4715
    @mikeyjamieson4715 2 роки тому +32

    I love the Lego Yoda death sound for anyone leaving 😂

  • @CRIMI0N
    @CRIMI0N 2 роки тому +41

    What is with the acting in this movie? I saw EFAP's reaction to the original: the acting in that was you know, normal when it needed to be and cartoony when it needed to be. Because it knew what the tone was.
    But no, let's be cartoony and exaggerated ALL THE TIME with the acting. Look at Kevin's parents in the original and how they interacted and look these clowns who are the baddies, the guy being the worst actor.
    Also being aware that you're crappy remake does not get you off the hook that you're crappy remake.

  • @DeeRhoe
    @DeeRhoe 2 роки тому +18

    Honestly, this is my favorite group J features after watching the entire roast of I Am Not Starfire.

  • @RanMouri82
    @RanMouri82 2 роки тому +11

    And what movie ad shows up below the chat replay? Home Alone. The *actual* 1990 Home Alone.

    • @Ariel_ButNotTheMermaid
      @Ariel_ButNotTheMermaid 2 роки тому +1

      I think these cheap cash grabs are bad on purpose so people will go buy/rent the original to compare so their income is people seeing how bad the new is to review it and people re-renting the old to cleanse their soul after this shit show

  • @robinthrush9672
    @robinthrush9672 2 роки тому +10

    It's like they took the nail on the tarred steps from the first movie and decided that should be the baseline and not the worst thing done.

  • @austin9568AuraMasterDX
    @austin9568AuraMasterDX 2 роки тому +45

    Looks like milk and cookies are gonna catch this kid before the Sticky Bandits.

  • @BaronB.BlazikenBaronOfBarons
    @BaronB.BlazikenBaronOfBarons 2 роки тому +6

    How much of this plot would’ve been skipped if, when the two “thieves” broke into the house, the woman said doll instead of boy.
    It’s extremely jarring that it’s the only time they refer to the doll as “boy”, instead of just calling it a doll. Literally the only reason she refers it as that is so the kid can misinterpret her.

  • @tehskullmunkymedia594
    @tehskullmunkymedia594 2 роки тому +15

    that drawing of JLong riding the rhino, kept me wondering if the Rhino is a Wakandan steed.

  • @TheAnonyomusGuy
    @TheAnonyomusGuy 2 роки тому +12

    So they explain everything but how they left the main character behind. The scene is barely 3 minutes long in the first movie but it perfectly explains how they left the kid behind I mean it doesn't explain why some random ass kid was going through their car but everything else the rush to get ready because the power went out and the fact that they left a kid in charge of counting all the kids makes a lot of sense

  • @jadelee6555
    @jadelee6555 Рік тому +9

    If this is Home Alone then I'm a fucking turtle.
    Seriously, what is this.

    • @JustADemon2023
      @JustADemon2023 Рік тому +1

      “What is this?” It’s a mistake; one of many that the human race has committed without any intelligence, remorse, shame or careful consideration.

  • @hellbind
    @hellbind 2 роки тому +29

    So we're just going to ignore the cross dressing scene that came about because he got a little "curious" while Home Alone 😂

  • @ericjones9668
    @ericjones9668 2 роки тому +9

    Yoooo.. that pic of you in the Batwoman suit is awesome.. shout-out to the illustrated!

  • @abrahemsamander3967
    @abrahemsamander3967 2 роки тому +11

    “Why would someone go to japan for Christmas?” Maybe they like KFC a ton?

    • @xFlareLeon
      @xFlareLeon Рік тому +1

      That Christmas Cake they make around that time must be good too.

  • @khfan4life365
    @khfan4life365 2 роки тому +40

    Another reboot that no one asked for. The best Home Alone movies will always be the original two.

  • @narutowebby
    @narutowebby 2 роки тому +4

    That fan art of J is excellent!! It’s amazing I really didn’t mind looking at it over the video.

  • @Chocokaylarobin
    @Chocokaylarobin 2 роки тому +8

    There's only 2 Home Alone movies. The first one and New York it ends after that.

  • @Master10k2
    @Master10k2 2 роки тому +5

    39:55 ... I'll never get tired of the Ultra Instinct

  • @stevenschnepp576
    @stevenschnepp576 2 роки тому +6

    This movie was simply so terrible, so painfully slow and torturous in so many ways that I couldn't make it through to the end when it came out. I only just now learned the ending.
    That ending was just as stupid and unsatisfying as I figured it would be. They didn't have the balls to end it the way it should have: with a shot of the kid dragging a couple of human-sized bags into the woods, humming "Somewhere in My Memory". Maybe have him whack one of the bags with a shovel when it starts to squirm.
    The rest of the movie was borderline horror. Why not end it properly?
    What demented monster decided making the bandits sympathetic was a good idea? Pop culture has wasted quite a few bytes discussing how the kid in the original was a psycho. Home Alone _only_ worked because the Wet Bandits were worse than Kevin and it was all presented in a slapstick way.

  • @katawatenshu
    @katawatenshu 2 роки тому +43

    This is just plain confusing, you can just ask for the doll. Can we get movies written by humans?

    • @dimitriwarchief301
      @dimitriwarchief301 2 роки тому +8

      Nope
      Not here
      Go watch old or ones films
      Hell maybe just
      I don’t know

  • @CyberSpider35
    @CyberSpider35 2 роки тому +16

    "Nobody has a landline anymore". Actually I have. Just like all of my neithbors. I know Russia is not exactly pinacle of technical advance, but still... this movie is dumb... especially when it's trying to sound clever.

    • @elvickRULES
      @elvickRULES 11 місяців тому +1

      Nobody I know in the US has a landline anymore.

  • @ellejay5024
    @ellejay5024 2 роки тому +7

    Everyone here has such great voices, this is the first time I've ever heard Jack's and Burst Angel's

  • @FercPolo
    @FercPolo 2 роки тому +27

    How did these actors make it through filming? Nobody in the middle of ANY of these scenes asked: "What are we doing here?"

    • @stevenschnepp576
      @stevenschnepp576 Рік тому +1

      Same way the rest of us with shitty jobs do it: "Just keep quiet and cash your check. Just keep quiet and cash your check."

    • @seventycross0yt175
      @seventycross0yt175 7 місяців тому

      You obviously live in your mothers basement with no money it’s called a job dumbass you’re paid to do shit

  • @BraveSpy
    @BraveSpy 2 роки тому +6

    I feel bad for that kid actor, because he wasr really good and funny and sweet in Jojo rabbit

  • @barbarabaker1457
    @barbarabaker1457 2 роки тому +42

    The movie may be bad, but this was gold.

  • @jackusmc2542
    @jackusmc2542 2 роки тому +34

    Loved it!!!! Hate the movie, wife wanted to watch and even she hated it!! But you guys were great!

  • @Alex_Fahey
    @Alex_Fahey 2 роки тому +14

    39:55 Best part of the movie until the demon child got away.

  • @TrueBuddhaCat
    @TrueBuddhaCat 2 роки тому +14

    I’ll admit, I have a soft spot for the 3rd Home Alone movie (also the 2nd Home Alone movie I say is an underrated gem, at least to me); but holy Christ this is an absolute abomination!! Who was the bright spark who thought “you know, we should make the burglars from Home Alone; who in both original movies actually threaten and almost come close to killing Kevin; sympathetic”…..SERIOUSLY!!? And my god, whatever people say about the kid from the 3rd Home Alone movie he is far more likable and not a future serial killer in the making.
    Plus, in that movie the kid had a reason as to why he fought the secret agents/burglars and he risked his own life quite a few times in the movie and like Kevin he is threatened with death quite a few times but is able to keep his own and shows that yeah he’s got problems but he’s a good kid(ex: he constantly calls the police to catch the agents and is upset when no one believes him and is scared for his family when the agents find out who he is and he has the thing they want)
    I can only hope next Christmas RLM gets a physical copy of this dumpster fire for BOTW and gets the original Kevin (I can’t spell his name but know his name and he’s a cool dude) to destroy this garbage as well like the “fourth” one (hopefully Rich Evans is not assaulted like last time)

  • @kidkatanatv
    @kidkatanatv 2 роки тому +46

    Are we rooting for this MC? He is so unlikable...

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 2 роки тому +31

      Kevin in the first two films wasn't that much of a brat compared to this kid.

    • @mysteriouscapitalist4033
      @mysteriouscapitalist4033 2 роки тому +11

      I'm rooting for him to go to juvenile hall or fat camp.

    • @khfan4life365
      @khfan4life365 2 роки тому +23

      Kevin had his bratty moments but he was utterly charming and adorable.

    • @danninmatthews5640
      @danninmatthews5640 2 роки тому +3

      @@khfan4life365 Agreed

    • @mikeyjamieson4715
      @mikeyjamieson4715 2 роки тому +5

      Kevin may have been bratty, but McCauly Culkin sold the hell out of the character.

  • @chazzitz-wh4ly
    @chazzitz-wh4ly Рік тому +2

    You know what goes great after attempted murder of two people who break in your home? Sitting around the house talking about feelings with your attempted murderer.

  • @theblackswordsman5039
    @theblackswordsman5039 2 роки тому +10

    “Yeah, we know that the home alone remake we made is terrible, but who cares? If it’s good enough for kids it’s good enough for profit.”
    ~Disney

  • @EdwardENigma-cg3kt
    @EdwardENigma-cg3kt Рік тому +3

    You can’t make the robbers sympathetic but also turn the kid into young Rambo.

  • @snbsixteen6stars201
    @snbsixteen6stars201 2 роки тому +7

    Nobody can top the grasscutter scene from home alone 3 in terms of straight up scary horror movie trappings

  • @theowlcast3725
    @theowlcast3725 2 роки тому +15

    Biggest problem with alota these movies as well as alota remakes is that they are all "ACTING!". Non of the characters are believable.

  • @FirstSkilletFan
    @FirstSkilletFan 2 роки тому +10

    "It's for kids guys. They won't be able to tell if we tried or not." - Disney

  • @Sarahonwheels
    @Sarahonwheels 2 роки тому +16

    I watched this film 3x from Dylan is in trouble and microwave society and I've been blown away by how this film fucked up.

  • @oscarestrada1796
    @oscarestrada1796 2 роки тому +28

    That thumbnail 😂

  • @BaronB.BlazikenBaronOfBarons
    @BaronB.BlazikenBaronOfBarons 2 роки тому +15

    For Home Alone, there’s a certain way things go.
    You need to have the villains be unsympathetic, to be deserving of the punishments they will endure.
    At the same time, you can’t have the traps be too intense. If they reach a certain level of violence or danger, it will lose its appeal as slapstick, as well as make the child protagonist seem like they’re actually evil and sadistic (to the point where it’s not funny anymore and actively hurts the film).
    Now, it’s one thing to make your antagonists be struggling parents who are only trying to get back stolen property. It’s another to make the traps so dangerous, the kid may have actually killed them if it weren’t for some lucky breaks.
    But having both of those things in the same movie?
    It’s no wonder this reboot flopped so hard!

  • @AlienBunnyRabbit
    @AlienBunnyRabbit 2 роки тому +7

    ...the dude playing Buzz has the same teeth and his mouth is shaped very much the same...
    This is what happens when your mom is a dentist...

  • @fluffy-hellhound
    @fluffy-hellhound 2 роки тому +5

    This is now the third time I've asked "wait, they made another Home Alone movie?"

  • @Poodleinacan
    @Poodleinacan 2 роки тому +5

    15:52 that slip was not scripted. lol

  • @shadowdramon01
    @shadowdramon01 2 роки тому +7

    This movie is the very definition of an idiot plot (a story that only works because EVERYBODY makes the type of stupid decisions no rational person would make in the same situations)

  • @livinglife5295
    @livinglife5295 2 роки тому +6

    As a Jamaican I would just like to say our airports are near the sea so I don’t know what the fuck is being said here😂😂😂

  • @arnold20139
    @arnold20139 2 роки тому +52

    All I can say is that, I'm glad they tried something "new".
    BUT, This movie wouldn't have been that bad if they didn't make the "villians" into a sympathetic family.
    The whole point in watching any Home Alone movie is the traps and seeing the "villains" get hurt comedically. This movie made me feel sick seeing the married couple get hurt.

  • @ericjones9668
    @ericjones9668 2 роки тому +7

    When he caught the ball and went UI🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @baseddugalle1838
    @baseddugalle1838 2 роки тому +4

    The concept of Home Alone is probably the easiest to do, and they fuck it up