We Wuz Wahmen Kangz: The Woman King REACTION
Вставка
- Опубліковано 7 тра 2023
- Poe - @DigitalBlackface
BurstAngel - @ncala
Carl - @SinglePlayerCarl
_______________________________________________
►Comment! ►Like! ►Share! ►Subscribe!
►Join SubscribeStar!
www.subscribestar.com/jlongbone
OR
►Donate!
www.paypal.me/BoneyLong
►Rumble
rumble.com/c/c-2367322
►Twitter
/ jonslongs
_______________________________________________
#thewomanking #reaction #movie - Фільми й анімація
"Lets not be an empire who sells its people, let us be an empire who loves its people"
Sub, follow, donate to make me forget this line 🤣🤣
►Join SubscribeStar!
www.subscribestar.com/jlongbone
OR
►Donate!
www.paypal.me/BoneyLong
►Rumble
rumble.com/c/c-2367322
►Twitter
twitter.com/JonsLongs
You hate to love it.
we wuz da homies n sheeeit!
I haven't laughed this hard since the Interview With the Vampire reviews. Bless y'all, J. !
Bless you Lauren ❤❤❤
Did you say Catholic Church?
"The real Kangz were the friends we enslaved along the way"
Amen, brother.
"The Kang Piece is reaaaal!"
Sounds like a banned episode of My Little Pony
@@ninjaartist1235 It was the season 5 opening
I did not want to laugh to that, I'm going to hell.
"Let us not be an empire that sells its people".
They were not. They were a kingdom that sold other kingdom's people.
When you’re a Hollywood writer who thinks all black people are the same, the difference is minimal.
@@purpleemerald5299 Right
They sold other kingdom’s people after enslaving them :3
The ones that they didn't either use for personal slave labor, or mass slaughter as human sacrifices for their barbaric religious festivals worshipping their past dead kings.
Okay corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures. (Holds up a picture of Malian and a picture of a Rwandan.)
Hollywood: They're the same.
"She will now understand pain of being surrounded by nothing but other women." 💀
So good.
I was not expecting that line and lost my shit laughing 😂
I was friends with groups of women in my youth and let me tell that it is a headache! I also almost got into fights from other men hitting on them. There are some perks but the headaches are not worth it especially when people thought I was gay lol.
I was blindsided by that sentence and lost it.
The guy who betrayed his country and let his best friend die ended up getting used by a girl he likes, being left alone to die in a strange land and didn’t get a girl in the end.
That’s what he got for being a simp.
Textbook definition
That's what they want
It’s not about being a SIMP but doing the right thing. Him romantically liking her is irrelevant to his morals, but y’all act like men can’t do anything good without the incentive of pussy.
Textbook Jake Sully moment.
@JonJohJameson Except Jake Sully actually got the girl in the end.
"Run! They're coming for the child support!" 😂
I was laughing for a whole minute 😂
Wouldn't a Woman King just be a Queen?
Yes, but shut up, Queen is a bad word.
@@grandarkfang_1482 I’m…. sorry
Yes but there were Women Kings... or at least 1 in Poland
The term Queen belongs to Gays in drag now.
Yes, but a male title makes her power more legitimate of course
Poe's utterly defeated "FUCK" when the Briona moment finally ran into his brain is the highlight of my day.
Your commentary in this review was gold. 🤣
You're always great
I'm curious, what is your nationality ?
@@kairos_fluent Cuban
@@ncala Ah I see, for some reason it sounded Eastern European to me, appreciate the reply.
"People call me racist... I can't even drive."
-Bilbo Baggins
There is only one race on this planet. Nascar.
@@crimsonpotemkin Amen.
Favorite part of lord of the rings was when Gandalf challenged sauron to a race to see who was the true drift King of middle earth
Also what's funny is that, this film takes place in 1823. The French banned the slave trade in 1818.
Iirc the US has stopped the slave trade itself back in 1808.
@korickarmstrong3468 Plus the _Arab_ slave trade was still going on, and was arguably _WAY_ worse than anything the Europeans did.
Imagine a "historical" movie about plantation owners saving slaves from the evil Underground Railroad.
they had their music
What is the big deal?
and burning Levi Coffin for saving thousands of lives 🤣🤣
American History with Uncle Rukus would be the best show on television.
I would love to see one on the Roman government trying to save their slaves from the corrupting clutches of Spartacus.
considering the "underground railroad" is completely fictional, id watch that
Let's say, hypothetically, I am a barbie girl. Okay let's even say I'm in a barbie world. Right so, in this scenario, I would obviously know from personal experience that life in plastic is fantastic. Wouldn't it be reasonable to assume you could brush my hair and undress me literally everywhere? Imagination; you can derive from the fundamentals of basic logic that life is your creation.
I fucking love you LMFAO
@@autisticscreechling4950 I love you too, brother.
Dankeschön.
I made a video essay about Wet Ass P-Word and won the "Boy Meets World Win a Trip to Meet Mr. Feeny" contest
''sniiff'' Itss so betiful...... 🥲
I say, let's go party!
John Boyega definitely found his niche in feminist Hollywood - supposedly playing a big role, while really being a useless buffoon to make generic strong female characters look good!
He chose to live by the typecast, he will die by the typecast.
Sequel incoming: "Attack the Black 2, Electric Boogaloo"
He failed to learn his lesson when he got harassed by these same people, and he will live with the consequences
I hope he can truly break out some day. Because he's a legitimately great actor who I believe deserves more.
@thecapedcritique
If you hadnt completely wooshed on that joke and then explained it, the rest of idiots that didn't pick up on the reference would have missed it!
Much obliged good sir o7
So the gay man is historically accurate :”in the Dahomey Kingdom in Ghana, males who were castrated during rituals served as royal wives within the upper courts. These eunuchs were regarded as more female than male and occupied influential positions in the courts, thus granting them extensive power over the Kingdom.” I figured he was a eunuch lol
Ugh, that is concerning.
You know the fantasy trope of the pale, clean shaven (although they wouldn’t have to shave), sinister advisor to a ruler? It’s eunuch-coding.
*_Literal femboy Jafar._*
Damn, so sissies have been a black thing for a lot longer than I thought...
..oh ogd... A SASSY BLACK FEMBOY!° OH NOOOOOOOOO WHAT DA FUCK
We've been asking for a historical film about a precolonial African kingdom for years and hollywood answers with "this."
Keep your expectations low. And you'll never be disappointed.
@@frug5629 well there are low expectations and then there are basic expectations of not glorifying ruthless slavers twisting the history and portraying them as "heroic" when they were anything but that ...
if this is the best they could come up with as "inspiring part of the black history" then its about the same as white guy trying to glorify certain austrian painter ...
Tell the “African Americans “ for hating white people so much they re-wright history for diversity lol
Kind of telling, if you ask me.
"Be careful what you wish for, Parker."
I’m glad I’m far from the only one who thought that Wakanda looked more like an overpopulated shanty town than anything even remotely close to being Afrofuturistic.
Oh wow, your one train system runs on magnetic rails. _WwwwoooooOoOoOoOoOo_
You mean like most of South Africa?
It would honestly be accurate to call it afrocyberpunk.
@CEWIII9873 Yes.
"ever since slave times"....
So, right now? There are more slaves in the world NOW than ever before in known history.
Thank Islam.
And India and China
Wow, I've been living under a rock. I didn't know Islam still practiced slavery.
@@AdonanS you can see footage of slave auctions online in many Muslim countries.
And Obama. The Libyan slave trade owes its existence to Obama destroying the country.
That's okay because it's being run by rich Israelis which is TOTES different than the slave trade of the Americas which was run by... rich jews cosplaying as Portuguese, French, English, etc... Damn.
Am I crazy or did Poe say someone ate his rabbit and dumped the bones on his dad's porch? Wtf kinda anime villain origin is that bro LMAO.
yes, yes he did
Crazy shit goes down in Nigeria
Eh, surely you mean Finn right?
Viola Davis: You do not remember me?
African Mark Henry: I don't even know who you are?
As an African i have a hard time taking this film seriously. It's just ridiculous.
Your commentary makes it so much better.
Glad someone ain’t buying this movies woke narrative and historical inaccuracy.
Recently, many people have suggested Disney make some original movies based on African folklore, instead of, you know, pointlessly race-swapping characters from Danish or English fairy tales. But I say, between Wakanda Forever and The Woman King, African history and cultures have suffered enough! Would be interesting if normal people did it though - without all the ignorance, bigotry, condescension, and ideology…
@@alexfriedman918
You know what was good disney movie based on tale but with black lead? Princess and a frog as that was not directly based on the story but was based on later time period and instead of retelling a story it used the story as a way to set up a narrative for a movie instead of copypaste it.
Also main characters' race did not matter as their personalities were more of what sold the movie and their interactions as well. Same with stuff like animated Aladdin and Mulan.
Heck as finnish lerson i have seen only 2 instances of representation in media in Jormungandr anime in a form of muscular pale war woman who acts as personal bodyguard of the main character and hetalia which inherently has all countries that more so characterizes finnish people poorly.
So i am kinda happy that finnish folk are mostly white since we dont get horrible hollywood reps.
@@Veryfreshveryflourish24 Yes, I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard from a number of people that The Princess and the Frog is good! I might check it out, despite my ever growing disdain for Disney - I mean, they did make some good movies, once upon a time…
This is how Americans see Africa 😂😂
Woman King: The movie that proved that you could make a movie glorifying literal slaveowners, if those slaveowners were black women. and nobody would care.
Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.
But together we can stop that...
Africa had its chance.
@@Kernwadi As someone who was born and raised in Africa and still resides there, I support that Statement
@@davidm.3795 I'm glad you've opened your eyes, brother.
Yes, clearly we must destroy time to help the poor people of Africa!
This might even effect other countries.
@@johannesseyfried7933 It's the only choice.
“The Woman King will Return, in the Colonizer Saga.” -Marvel Studios
Why is it so damn hard for Hollywood to accept that not all African empires should be idolized? WHYYYYYYYYY????
I already knew what to expect: girlbossification, men bad women good, slavery very bad (except when we do it because of reasons that totes aren't hypocritical in any way). But when that chick at the end said "Breonna," that was when I rolled my eyes hard enough to see my suspension of disbelief get sucked away into a black hole.
I am always down to see representation of African and African-American people in the media. What I am NOT down for is some sanitized, sparkly-safe version of "history" that won't get the Twitter Gremlins up in their fee-fees. As we all know, history is brutal. Some historical figures did some shit that would make the likes of the KKK turn the bottom of their white robes brown (I still shudder when I think of what the Aztecs, Mongols, and yes, even the Dahomey, did to their victims).
All in all, this reaction made me gigglesnort. You four had more chemistry than everyone in the movie combined. Can't wait for the next one!
Empires....
With no colonies...
Yeah, sure.
At least, you can do something about Hannibal and the Punic Wars. But I’m not sure that the known history of Carthage (which those clowns probably never even heard of) has what they want as far as women soldiers, or Cleopatra-type figures….
@@alexfriedman918 Why can't we talk about ALL history instead of battling about what history we should talk about. Not everybody in the worst empires were bad people. Knowing about those tribes are instrumental in understanding modern American history...because they sold the black slaves to the Europeans. This movie isn't about Carthage. Carthage needs it's own movie.
Idk its weird... I'm a white dude very very conservative in family values. Etc. Anyways same bs in every culture the least attractive and intelligent create the most bullshit. I live in central Florida my wife is a sexy smart black woman. Very fit and feminine. She's great but still a women and as a man I will protect her and my family. But that ends to an accent because women love and need to be put in place. But also need comfort I will provide and protect are kids. But she will raise them right because she's a good woman. We don't have a ethnic issue we have a weak men issue.
If you think those guys were bad, wait until you hear about the assyrians.
I never knew Africans mastered lucha libre and MMA before they were even invented. Another banger for the kangs in Hollywood.
Reality is they fought to prolong the slave trade and were wiped out almost immediately in their first battle. Nothing about them deserves praise.
TBF, I appreciate the free labor...
“And the Americans have seen if you want to hold a people in chains, one must first convince them they are meant to be bound.” -King Ghetto, Slave Lord
Were they not fighting the French?
They need to be enslaved by whips and chains with whips and chains.
So the black Americans whose ancestors were slaves are the ones that were "convinced they were meant to be bound"? And since his people captured slaves, were they the ones who convinced them? For a slaveowner and slave seller to say such a thing sounds more like he's laughing at America's slaves... Well, it might be truer to history if he did feel they deserved it...
@@vlo4829 funny thing, african and arab slave owners castrated their slaves to prevent them from becoming the usa
If you sail far enough west eventually you'll get to Africa. Manifest destiny.
8:30 "no, she will now understand the pain of being surrounded by nothing but other women"
*dies* XD
I didn't die, but I did start laughing up blood.
28:13 Note they also portray feminine Black women (The Queen) poorly too. There’s only one narrow view of Black women this movie supports. 🤔
Yes. Hollywood either wants black women twerking or being aggressively angry.
I pine for the movie that has black princess peach instead of princess Fiona again.
Hollywood loves masculine black women.
Black women are only powerful till they step in to defend a black man I guess.
@@newhappythoughts1628 A younger “black friend” can also be super sassy - I think that’s still a thing.
I’m still blown away by the fact the love interest threw away his life, ensured he could never go home, let his best friend be murdered, and made himself a traitor to his country and possibly others for a ONE NIGHT STAND! Even if he was taken in as a consort or something for the small girl(since mama is the ruler now and they do whatever they want) that would’ve been better than “Welp we fucked so uh…bye forever.”
Not to mention that he was still actively trafficking slaves until the girl he liked got captured. Not only is he a simp, he's also a hypocrite
R-select with no impulse control
Modern Hollywood ideals:
Woman throws her life away for a man she barely knows = bad
Man throws his life away for a woman he barely knows = good
It's worse than Avatar because Jake Sully had nothing to really go back to but poverty on a dying planet, while he actually gets into a serious relationship with his love interest and raises a family.
What people get wrong is a lot is that the Dahomey women soliders did, in fact, try to suggest selling palm oil instead of slaves, but ultimately either didn't make a convincing argument or just dropped it because they kept selling slaves regardless. To assume the Dahomey were the ones to end slavery in their kingdom instead of the French is crazy.
To sell palm oil instead of slaves would have required completely uprooting and rebuilding their entire society and the means by which it functions from scratch. Not just on a legal or philosophical level, but on a very technical level. The American South just had to replace its labor force for cotton, the Dahomy effectively needed to build an entire society around a cash crop and all the needed infrastructure, planning, investment, skills, etc needed to do it. They couldn't realistically do that in the context of their society, so they took the easy way and just continued the far simpler and already established means of abducting and selling people as slaves.
weren't the slaves using the palm oil as cocoa butter anyway?
When I saw the posters and trailers my first thought was "Finally they make a movie about African history! I might actually see this one!"
Then I looked up the history, and wished I had never been so optimistic.
And of all the things too. Like a similar thing is happening with that Cleopatra movie, where they're portraying her as a black woman instead of just making a movie about an actual African queen. There's tons of African history and folklore Hollywood could use but they always do shit like this instead, it's baffling.
I heavily sighed. I knew it was going to be garbage. It's always garbage now
I mean, the oxymoronic title gave itself away. "Woman KING"?
I agree
Especially the best history in Africa ever which played out in Rwanda?
I want to point out that the French lost basically nobody during the campaign against the Dahomey people, and completely massacred the slavers in melee combat. People keep saying 'b-but guns!' and don't realize the French just laughed at them, walked up, and beat/stabbed their whole army to death.
They were so pathetic compared to French soldiers that the French didn't even want to waste ammunition on them. The French just clubbed and stabbed them down. It should be in history as one of the most disrespectful victories in warfare. To understand just how insane it was, the Dahomey lost 125 people for every 1 Frenchman that fell. The French lost a total of 16 people in the first war, and the Dahomey lose *2000.*
Between the 2 wars the Dahomey fought with the french, the French only suffered about 97 KIA at the hands of the dahomey.
Dahomey lost over 6,000.
Each french dispatched 61 da homies. Not bad for a day's work, not bad at all.
That why the french called it a day and went home to sip wine and munch foie gras on toast. The French are very much aware of their labour rights and do jackshit beyond their contractual obligations or past their working hours.
Reminds me of this chick in a class I had to take who made a presentation about how African Americans are treated in the US (her words, not mine). She talked about how she didn't understand why some black Americans were Christian because according to her, the Bible endorses slavery (I've read it, it doesn't); then proceeded to say that the cross was ripped from the Egyptian ankh, even though 1. The cross is taken from crucifixion, a method of execution used by the Romans and others, which is how Jesus was killed and 2. Egyptians aren't even of Sub-Saharan origin, like she is, so Idk what their ancient culture-which they don't even practice anymore, being a country with a Muslim majority-has to do with her. She also seemed to idolize Mansa Musa, which okay I guess-he _was_ successful at some point during his rule, but he also had hundreds, if not thousands of slaves, which totally contradicted her "message." And he was Muslim too, which I only bring up because she was promoting native Sub-Saharan religion (Idk which one, she was really vague). She went on about how they used to be kings and queens (I swear, I'm not even joking, this is 100% what happened), meanwhile I was thinking, "Actually, it's likely _the people who captured and sold your ancestors_ who were the kings and queens, and their slaves who ended up in the Americas."
I'm a history enthusiast, and you have no idea how hard it was holding my tongue (because it's not a debate class, the audience is supposed to listen and not interrupt) instead of immediately correcting all of the ahistorical nonsense coming from that girl's mouth. The whole lecture was a mess of ignorant contradictions. I wasn't angry, only perplexed and dismayed. This is how thoroughly our education system has failed us.
First off- I wanna say I agree with most of what you said- I’m just not sure if the “sold to your ancestors” thing is correct- I’m just thinking like- she could have been the child of some 3rd generation immigrants or something- I don’t know. I don’t like the assumption that just because someone is white they were the descendant of a slave owner. (I say this as someone with grandparents who all descended from immigrants from different countries, none of which were American.
but yeah you are correct in the fact that a lot of slaves were likely kings and queens- which made it more humiliating and heartbreaking for those who were enslaved.
Also, ( I just looked this up, so take it with a grain of salt) the reason why so many black Americans practice Christianity is because black churches and mosques were safe spaces for black people when segregation was a thing. Also lots of older folks say that opposing racism is essential to their religion. At least- that’s what I got from this article here:
www.pewresearch.org/religion/2021/02/16/faith-among-black-americans/
If anyone who responds to this is black and can tell me otherwise please let me know
Ancient Egyptians were BLACK get over it asswipe, it's already been proven.
@@serperiorandtheanimator9216 I made that assumption because she seemed to imply she was descended from slaves. For clarification. Idk if she was or not, I didn't do any research on her lineage-I would hope that she would've done that herself, but judging by her numerous misconceptions, it seems unlikely. It can also be difficult to find that kind of information if a person has such ancestry or lacks family records.
It's possible there were slaves who could've been rival kings and queens to the ones who captured and sold them, but to say all of them were is untrue-not everybody is a king or queen, after all, nor is everyone descended from people who were.
@@AnimaVox_ ah- forgive me on my confusion- I didn’t mean to imply that all slaves were kings and queens- it’s just that SOME of them were. I also assumed the person you were talking about was white- not that she was descended from slaves herself. My mistake- thank you for the clarification
@@serperiorandtheanimator9216
Technically white people could be descendants of slaves just not black ones. Lol
I was listening to this in my pool and nearly drowned from involuntary laughter. The part where 2 African nations fight and then completely unprompted have a conversation about America… not any of the Arab nations with FAR FAR larger slave trades was hilarious. Also 1800 Ru Paul I believe was supposed to be a Eunuch but the movie ironically also had no balls so they went with the coded approach.
Lmfao 1800s RuPaul.
Somewhat related but when will this painfully stereotypical portrayal of gay men in media stop?
@@madamebkrt unfortunately, it may be a while. The goalposts got moved backwards to “representation.” When a gay showing up and being vaguely gay is enough for progressive back pats, it doesn’t matter how derivative or stereotypical they are.
Arabs didn't treat their slaves like americans.They didn't pick up black peoples skull and said they are inferiors to white people.Arabs never distinguish people by color or ethnicity.But you wont understand that because you grew up in different environment.
@@jonyhyder6506 "Arabs never distinguish people by color or ethnicity"
My friend, there isn't a single culture in the history of mankind who didn't do that.
@@jonyhyder6506no that’s right, Arabs didn’t treat Africans the way Europeans did.
Europeans freed their slaves and gave them rights, fighting multiple wars over their freedom both abroad and at home.
Meanwhile Arabs had to have it imposed upon them and before that had the nice tradition of cutting up their genitals.
So much better than craniotology am I right ?
I suspect the whole reason this movie exists is that they wanted a film that would be for black people what Mel Gibson's "Braveheart" was for Scottish Nationals. Which was a film that became basically their "symbol" of their whole movement.
Now, Braveheart has just as many historical inaccuracies and ridiculous contradictions as Woman King, don't me wrong. But when you start looking at the truth of William Wallace, he still works as a hero for the Scottish Nationals and their ideals. So, the gross inaccuracies can be overlooked.
The Woman King, not so much. The real woman behind the king is grossly against ideals that various black liberation and black national movements espouse. So, she doesn't work as a hero.
If they really wanted this to be a great movie, they could have had one of the kingdoms that were attacked and almost annihilated by Dahomey.
believe it or not, braveheart was the inspiration for this movie
Braveheart definitely has a lot of mistakes but at least it's an entertaining movie that doesn't push an agenda. The English did subjugate the Scottish and they ultimately did revolt and win. So the flower as least some historical accuracy. But this, goddamn it's like they did a 180
Yeah revisionist history at the cost of everyone's history.
@@richardsanchez5444 It's got the basic idea. And if you look at William Wallace, he wasn't so contradicting to the Scottish National movement. Woman king is a complete contradiction. So trying to make her into a hero is rediculous.
@@TheRisky9 exactly
Fun fact about the Dahomey. They actually outnumbered French forces and had more guns. But because they were primitive savages they were shooting from the hip. Whilst the French and their African Auxillaries were aiming their shots. So the Dahomeys were missing all their shots.
Yep and got slaughtered for their troubles. The French only loss like what 6 guys?
19th Century Dark Storm Troopers
the african auxillaries are a fact that is so often downplayed . hell half the time the europeans believed since with their pseudo science they believe that africans are batter at fighting in african condition and werent beaten by all kinds of sub saharan illness parially true but the auxillaries mainly had treatment for it while the europeans didnt but they had guns and a whole list of people who had an axe to grind with the old aging empires in africa and europeans were a good dealsman and less seen as a threat
Probably even held the rifles sideways too😂
@@Deltic-ce1hkSTOP😂
"I just realized she's wearing a mohawk. I want to leave." 🤣🤣🤣
Man now they're culturally appropriating an American haircut.
"I feel bad because the actress is clearly giving her best here.
It's like trying to cook a 5-star meal with dry Ramen packets."
So funny. Best line I have heard in some time.
"Delectable African chocolate and French pastry". I am deceased!
Good job all, but BurstAngel was MVP by a long way 😂
He wasn't wrong either it is a perfect fusion. Some of the most attractive people I've met in person are "eclairs" as Burstangel put it.
Could you imagine getting shot in your own apartment and literally a year later a movie about real life tribe of women that lived 100 of years ago (who also were 100% involved in slave trade) name drops you in the end credits? It be like Adolf Hitler saying George Floyd name in a movie that show the Nazi’s we’re anit racist against Jews.
was this the one about the bad rock deal in the projects?
"Let us not be an Empire who sells its people."
"Let's be an Empire that sells everyone we don't consider part of our Empire. And our Empire is a very select and small club."
When the Dora Milaje built the first space ship out of bananas and slave bones and went to the moon, I was thrilled to finally be viewing the true history of Black excellence (Edit: Forgot to capitalize Black.). But when they left that pack of Kools on the lunar surface as a tribute to Brionna Taylor, I wept guilty white tears. Da Homie (and Da Homegirl) Forever!
That Brionna Taylor tribute was so super cringe. Are we supposed to believe that the African slavers of the 1800's could magically see into the future? Also, how did selling illegal drugs to her own race make Brionna some kind of fierce warrior worthy of being honored? 🤔
what about Newports?
@@CEWIII9873 Both are artifacts of worthy tribute.
@dannyknightblade4592 Because according to BLM, if you're a black person who somehow got killed by the police, you're automatically a martyr
Carl's take on Shape Of You at 48:00 was the best part of this reaction, Iaughed so hard to it! 😂😂
37:39 I feel bad for the baby actor. Not because for this "tearjearker" scene, but because they're mom forced the little one to star in this god-awful movie.
Gotta love how JLB opens a steam and her friend just IMMEDIATELY dives into a tangent about having malaria
Classic Poe moment, it could've been much worse
poe was funny tho. and i prefer hsi malaria rant rather than the "bullshit-lecturing" this movie did
What happened to that stream?
Oh, look it's that movie that tries to gaslight people into thinking the Dahomey were unwilling participants in the slave trade, and didn't actively stab their own countrymen in the back for profit! 😅
For a movie that is 100% lies and misrepresentation it's a big cherry on top to "honor" Breonna Taylor
Who?
@@LordThomasPassion just look it up - it's one of the deaths that BLM has been marching under
@donutsaplenty Pretty sure she was a black girl(or woman) that was shot by police because when they arrived on the scene she had a knife and was possibly threatening someone. Of course since its a black person killed by cops everyone assumes it was wrongfully.
@@i_s_u-c_l_o_n_e637 no you're thinking of the teenager that called the cops to her knife fight and got shot mid-swing while trying to plunge a kitchen knife into another girl's chest.
Breonna Taylor was shot during a botched raid where her boyfriend opened fire on the police and they shot a fusillade back, killing Taylor.
@@talesofgore9424i feel bad for the family. Breonna’s death will be “honored” by a bad movie.
13:35 The subtitles say "We fight for the homie" fuck i dead 💀💀
Has anyone made a compilation of UA-cam subtitles?
😂😂😂😂
You know a movie is bad when JLongbone and her friends' reaction is more entertaining to watch than the actual movie. Then again, they themselves are also actually funny in general. So maybe it's a combination of the two.
Their reading of "I'm not Starfire" is still one of the greatest things for me.
I don't think I ever laughed so much. 🤣
You ever saw her reactions and reviews of Bahwahman, She-Hulk those are classics
Perfect combination
That French guy is a fucking RIOT.
@@johannesseyfried7933 That was the only good thing that came from that comic. I remember getting on there thinking, "Oh, I'll listen for about half an hour." Nope. Stayed the whole three hours and had fun with everyone on the board.
ok so, the director of this film also did love and basketball, the story and screenplay was done by two white ladies, and viola's husband and another white lady were also the producers. just thought i bring it up cause it might explain a lot with this movie
whit ey
amirite?
I want to know how high the producer was to name this movie “The Woman King.” You’re either a king or a queen, but we all know why they went along with that title, huh.
False dichotomy fallacy
Freudian
They are testing the waters for their next movie, "The Man Queen."
That poor young man at the end, slowing coming to the realization, that a lifetime of being angry at whitey for slavery was just dashed expertly by the likelihood that his own kin contributed to said slavery was interesting to listen to. I wish him well on his journey, there are a lot of uncomfortable truths out there about how it's really been. But keep it all in mind, you are not responsible for what the past has done.
Trust me. I I was not angry.
I do trust you.
I agree
Say, I have a cotton harvest I need to be brought in.
Any ideas of a market where I can purchase the labor?
You could always hire the little rascals.
@@Baldwin-iv445 According to Moe Szyslak, they were orphans owned by the studio...
I'm just enamored by all that slashing, and yet, there's not a SINGLE drop of blood.
Kingsman would be ashamed.
Historically accurate gay dude though, the only thing he was missing was the umbrella he carried for the king.
Well, over the last 20 years the white americans got to experience european and american culture being subverted in movies to "suit a modern audience".
Now black americans can experience that as well. So maybe now we can all hold hands now and say together "maybe Hollywood is just really shit at everything".
Wait a fucking minute it tooks me 38 minute and 45 second to realize that this is not Black Panther 2
It took me that exact amount of time to realize that this film wasn't a prequel.
As an East African I also hate the media making every African sound Nigerian lol God this movie is a meme.
"East Africa?"
Aren't you more worried about where your next bag of rice is coming from or finding camel fodder?
Mumu East African
If she's trying and failing, its not 'him fumbling', it's HER fumbling.
If a man was asking a woman out and she says no, i wouldn't call that her fumbling to get a date lol. I'd say he failed.
If her material isn't landing that's her problem, not her targets.
But you have to understand, men are always wrong.
One of the worst things is that there are still people defending this movie
rotten tomatoes is suspicious 99 and 99.......
I forgot this movie existed lol
The title of this movie 'Women King' that's enough for me to not consider watching it
That's not surprising sadly. After all, there were people defending "Cuties" as well. 😒
Those same people are getting ready to go looting over the newest criminal being killed while black.
There’s no way the Breonna thing actually happened. Good God.
8:30 Me and my mom both laughed hysterically at this. My mom actually said, “That would be my worst nightmare!” 😂
Man I wish more pervs had your mom's point of view.
OMG that thumbnail 🤣
Terrifying.
Whips and Chaaaaains call back was gold.
So when do we get a Woman King vs Karen crossover?
Karen vs King, Dawn of Cringe
@@oscargruber8582 What we see after the Night of Cringe
I mean they coulda did a movie about the Queen of Kush that fought against Egypt and Rome. That really happened. It was a pretty interesting part of history that people gloss over. Kush lost some land, but the Queen negotiated and won her terms and got a peace and trade agreement for like 300 years. She protected her people. I think she's way more interesting than this stupid f@ckin' movie.
*The best thing is that Twitter can't even say that this video is racist.*
Twitter: "You underestimate my power!"
“Something something internalized bigotry”
@@mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901 Yes.
I can and I can also say other things about those speaking in the video if they're Black I feel sad for them especially by their remarks and how it shows their ignorance
^what do you know, it happened already
21:12 Every bullet they waste means another person they have to sell into slavery - stunning and brave!
I just assumed they made more. If you have metalwork then it's not too hard to make musket balls which was what they used at this time.
23:38 The judges would have also accepted "a combination of rich, dark chocolate and creamy French vanilla."
4:06 so my boyfriend is a former wrestler with experience in choreographing woman v man matches, specifically trying to make it believable and compelling. and when I asked him how he'd improve this interaction he said
"1: holy shit, that's a _botch!_ she didn't even clear his shoulders." and
"2: What would have worked better was a Tornado DDT. because it's flashy and easier for the woman to run at the guy, grab his arm to get UP and around his shoulders, and with her elevation, take the back of her arm around the back of his neck and make it look like she snaps her momentum downward to DRIVE HIS FACE INTO THE GROUND. It can look devastating." The back-of-the-arm-into-the-ground is the "DDT," the "Tornado" is the up and around the shoulder momentum flurish.
Me: "But she needs to keep moving forward in the scene, how would you accomodate for that?"
Him: "Does she know a kip-up?"
How did he react to the big battle scene?
“You will now understand the pain of being surrounded by nothing but other women”! 😂🤣😅
I swear J's laugh cured the cancer being exposed to mere clips of this movie gave me. She truly was the Woman King after all. And she was a good friend.
She would be a fantastic ruler.
I am so ready to see this. Didn't see the movie but if JLongbone and her friends are seeing it, then it just makes it better.
It's the only way to see it! 😂
My favorite part was when the strong waman King said "Its slavin' time" and enslaved all her tribe's enemies
I'll be in the next video where we riff on the prequel, The African Queen
I am glad you are aware of this movie's existence...
Just make sure not to riff on Humphrey Bogart.
25:18 Wait, does that big guy have the wrist of her sword-hand firmly gripped in one of his hands, so he has assumed control over the ONLY thing that makes her a threat to him, and rather than stab or slice her in a vulnerable spot while she has no means to block, he chooses to use his weapon to chop down on the sword to disarm her? The weapon he already rendered temporarily useless since he had her grappled? There are so many times in this fight where he could have easily killed her even if he wasn't a taller and broader guy with 100lbs of additional muscle over her and clearly being choreographed to be as effective a warrior as an elderly old man with Alzheimer.
We wuz kangs Kang the conqueror taught us to be empowered
The Real Ending!
Slaves Of The Woman King: DAMN THESE RUSTY CLAMS, DAYDREAMIN ALL THE DAMN TIME, INSTEAD OF ACCEPTIN DEFEAT!!!
The French: *watches the women soldiers dying on the ground and having daydreams of victory* Poor things, thinking they could win!
Woman King: BREANNA!!!
The French: WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!
C’est qui ça. Here your translation
@@alexlafond3378 Thank you, cause I didn't know the translation.
@@michaelfireheart8300 Its okay
I want the full version of “I’m in love with Dahomey”
48:12 The Shape of You joke is so hilarious.. I couldnt contain my laugh
JLB’s video is gonna be incredible and this wack movie is probably gonna make me completely insane! Remember everyone we can end racism, one historical rewrite at a time.
And replacing all white people in their own histories and myths. But it’s not a conspiracy theory that white people are being replaced or slowly ethnically cleansed after building the world we know it as today.
When I saw the first trailer I didn't know anything about the subject.
And I assumed that it would be vaguely accurate if not a bit exaggerated.
I didn't think it would be a case of serious downplaying.
Well, not even downplaying, presenting the most infamous slave-trading nation on the continent as if they opposed it is just flat-out _lying_ .
It's like the opposite of a Korean film.
the father guy is the best character in the film is so faithful to history "i'm crying what a beatiful performance"
At first when I heard you guys saying "the dance of the homies" I thought it was just a random riff, then when Nanisca said "For dahomey!" I just couldn't!! 🤣🤣Jesus, the jokes are masterful and it's not like you even have to try, the movie gives you everything, the memes just create themselves lmfao.😂
They're the good guys and they also have slaves, but white slave traders are bad guys? BlackLightJack created a term for that, but I don't remember was it called "validation bias" or "inclusivity validation."
Inclusivity Bias. and yeah, that’s the perfect term for this movie
@@justagirl7094 Yes, that one. He also created other one in Princess' Jewels video.
I still can’t believe this movie didn’t get an Oscar - it fell off the delusional tree and ticked every box on the way down! Did they really let a little problem like rewriting history and erasing cultures stop them? Naaah, they probably just had enough of Viola Davis already - I know I have!
Maybe Cleopatra will win an Oscar. ... After Netflix deals with that pesky, little lawsuit and the possibility of never being allowed to film in Egypt ever again. 👀
I'm surprised they didn't get a Golden raspberry.
You can easily slap a Marvel Logo to this with the tagline:
"Before the Black Panther there was the Woman King"
OMF. This was entertaining.
I would love to see a commentary group watch of some South African native tribal people watching this shit and giving it a piece of their mind
This movie is about as authentic to real history as The Patriot was about the british-american war, LOL. Dahomey were slavers same as Oye, in fact they were the biggest suppliers of slaves to the europeans. They worked with the dutch, actually. And female warriors existed, that is true, they were more like bullies with privileges though. Most of them were conscripted and could not marry or have kids. They used their rights to loot and abuse lower class citizens. They then lost their first significant battle when the dutch took over, and that was pretty much it for them.
That explains why Hollywood chooses to make a movie about them
You know? I legit didn't know about the necrosis that would've happened from the tooth until Burst said something about it. Then again, I haven't seen this movie and wouldn't have considered putting a friggin shark tooth into my hypothetical child's shoulder like Viola Davis did, but hey, the more ya know I guess.
And then I looked up what necrosis looks like and I don't think I'm sleeping tonight. Thanks, Burst.
Also I noticed Poe thought of the Ice Spice lyric before the obvious Garmadon quote that woulda fit: "How could I ruin your life? I wasn't even there." Disgusting.
I'm kidding, Poe. You were great. The rest of you guys were great too, as usual.
I'm not gonna look that up, but even assuming it didn't cause an infection, that tooth likely wouldn't still have been in there. Her body would have pushed it outwards as she grew.
Ah shit … necrosis.
Look up the Russian guy, Andrey Suchilin, who was kicked off a plane for smelling _so_ bad that they had to do an emergency landing.
He had went to a doctor prior to getting on the plane, and they told him he had a minor infection from being at the beach. In reality, it was tissue necrosis. Was eating him from the inside out and no one knew until he started to perspire and the stench of rot was coming from his pores. His health deteriorated so damn fast that they went to take his clothing off and his skin was a soupy mess from it.
Necrosis is wild, they sometimes don’t know that people will have it until they cut into them for surgery and are then hit with a putrid stench.
Fascinating as hell, but enough to keep you up at night and want to be in a bubble for the rest of your life with some of the stories about it and how easily some contracted it.
this shit has 95 critic and 99 audience score on RT
how anyone trusts that site is beyond me
Because it was a decent film if you overlook the revisionist history, so the people who wanted to watch it despite the problems like it. Besides, the movie still flopped because most people didnt want to watch a movie celebrating slavers.
@@newhappythoughts1628 how is this garbage decent
It was trusted once, then money was exchanged
@@punklover99 Other than the fact it pretends its accurate, what’s wrong with it?
This video is perfect I feel like I’m watching this with my actual friends.
It’s kinda crazy how y’all don’t miss a beat at all. 😂 need more of this!!!
Honestly, I can't look past the fact that the one French guy is college Harry Styles from After (32:43)
They got some A-listers and then went, 'ah, that guy from the movie produced by Wattpad Studios isn't doing anything, let's get him involved' - but at least live-action fanfiction might not be the most embarrassing part of his career now, so there's that.
😂😂😂😂 I thought same thing lol
For.. real tho.. do Africans not feel offended? Why everyone always sound like they are from Nigeria and want to know if you know da whey😂😂😂? Is this not stereotyping???
I thought that was a Ugandan meme to show them the way.
We make fun of that shit but people still eat it up because "African Hollywood movie yay"
@@newhappythoughts1628 it is, but the film makers probably wouldn't know a difference
A Google search shows that a lot of people are saying that the post credit sequence is a tribute to Brianna Taylor.
Wahmen Kang: THE GREAT BATTLE OF DA CHILD SUPPORT AND BABY DADDIES!!!
I'm real glad this dropped *after* my mouth surgery. 🤣
Yeah i think its completely acceptable that we all say "Wakanda shite is this?" When they make awfully trash, nonsense mess films like this. Apparently viola davis wanted to be the grace jones with spears warriors so bad they wrote an awful film around the idea and didn't say so out loud lol.
The writers are aware the US stopped importing slaves in 1808, right? Right?
No they are not.
Now I need to see a full perody song by Carl, that had me dying.