1. Articulate and smart and appears normal. 2. Shares her pain to ensnare, manipulate you, then uses things against you. 3. Interpersonal violence, police etc 4. Lying, cheating, stealing, callous, malicious, violating rights of others 5. Substance abuse, impulsive, promiscuous. 6. Trauma bond. With your loyalty you’ll defend her. 7. Betrayal --> revenge,vindictiveness, your destruction 8. No apology, no remorse. Childlike reasoning. 9. Unstable emotions when in love. Can’t trust. Unstable attachment. Fears abandonment. Love causes emotional distress. 10. You feel sorry for her pain and trauma but you can’t fix her. Run.
From an experienced divorce lawyer: great video! These people are everywhere. Don’t get tangled up with one. The divorce will be brutal. Keep up the great work!
I was in a long term relationship with someone I suspect strongly was suffering from BPD. The dichotomy of loving someone but hating their behavior is a torturous state to be in. Thank you for your videos.
The malignant part makes sense. It was very confusing while in it. Zero contact is absolutely the way to go once you recognize what you are dealing with.
Easy to say.. but when your daughter has MBD it’s a disaster. She filed no contact order vs entire family. My psychiatrist says, dont challenge it she wont stop till she destroy you. Shocking, shocking, scary..but out all videos she fits in this category the most. How come I didn’t see earlier?! Wouldn’t change much I guess.
@@wutwaVo542 yes, as an outsider I watch her destroy her relationships and then if I go in to assist her she makes no attempt to be cordial. Everything is an attack. It’s so so sad.
@@klenovicaklen657 wow! MBD is that metabolic bone disease? If it is I’m sorry to hear of that and her condition! 🥺 Life itself is precious! Fragile! And nothing is promised from the Universe but to return one day to the source. Be grateful for something, friend, be courageous as courage inspires those around you to do the same. I’m sorry to hear about your story. Remember, the present moment is all we ever had, have, and will have…your current state of being is all that matters. Some days are harder than others. Be inspirational, ask nothing in return, and you will know you are blessed.
Its amazing how "broadly" this disorder has its testicles (one that dealt with the toxicity of this disorder as a male from the female sex makes one want to ask: "Wait, do how do you know her ? Cant be possible!" 🤦🏼♂️ It is sohhhhhhhh uncanny how this level of vindictiveness/dark triadic pure EVIL these individuals are .
@@laurenesmith1554 so unfortunately we men that aren't up to just a "hook up" need to start learning the hook up (no thanks looks like ill just be a loner if it entails any more chaotic dark triadic female, although her red flags were glaringly Obvious she swore to actually start working on them...) so much for that. 👹
Mrs. Leblanc I had intentions in marrying a woman that fits this description. I saw the signs and overlooked them, until she finally went ghost on me. For that I'm grateful!
You’ll probably never see this, but I wish I could get him to leave. He has made it clear that if I get capable of/close to leaving him, he will kill me. They are so manipulative that the outside world doesn’t see how they are & even blames the victim.
I might have 'dated' this woman about 10 years ago. She was just a full-blown liar, manipulator, user and abuser, what even seemed like multiple personality at times. She was very dangerous, and it took me some time to reprogram myself and rid myself of her poison. The thing is, she even once told me, "I'm not very nice and I'm not very smart." *RUN* when you hear such things.
Mine did a similar thing. It really is eerie how they will try to warn you. She told me she was no good and how I would eventually hate her. Me, being the fool, didn’t heed her warning.
Thank you so much Lisa!you speak the truth,nicely explained,these type of humans are all over and around us,I’ve met a heavy one that almost ruined my life in 3 years,let them go they don’t care about it,their brain is fried no honesty or loyalty can sustain their need of more and more.it’s sicken .. but I’m free not from the trauma but the layers slowly fade away,it’s a daily progress .. om meditation and yoga helps to see things clear .stay awake
You described my evil mother here very well except she's not charming at all. Wicked and hate filled to the core. My malignant BPD mother married a grandiose sociopath. I grew up in the craziest home filled with torture and abuse. I'm 50 and still healing from all the trauma and abuse. Can't believe I'm alive and still here. I've done years of therapy, hypnosis, intense trauma therapy, UA-cam binging, read everything I could get my hands on. They will destroy their own offspring!!!!! Run, they're really demons and it can turn into scariest nightmare ever imagined.
I'm 69 yrs and had an Evil Mother, exactly the Same !!!! I'm single with 2 Dogs now, and I never got married or had children !!!! I'm happy with my Dogs and People can all go to Hell !!!! I won't tolerate anyone being nasty to me ever again !!!!
The vast majority of these people never get diagnosed. My ex-narc was so good at playing the victim that our couples therapists just wanted to protect her. She wouldn't subject herself to real therapy. She couldn't manipulate us both at the same time, though. This is how I finally was able to see through her act.
Eighteen years later and still not free from the vengeance. Gave up all possessions and a daughter whom (severely disabled) was my Heart. I am high experience, quality provider to many and just stopped any defence to malignant ten years ago. And the hits just keep on comin. People who value me have my back. I am truly blessed with miracles constantly. My MOTTO.=-I do Not believe in Miracles--I RELY on them. Wish I had discovered you Lise, 40 years ago. Blessings to all your New Years. Will
Yea, but it's so much fun ! 😄 Kinda like having the 100,000 pieces from 20 jigsaw puzzles all together in one big box and you try to assemble them together.
Dear friend in the helping profession seemed to be caring and responsible but always ended up being the #2 person where she worked (and she really did work very hard), but then always found fault with the #1 person/owner/director. It took years to figure this out because the stories always seemed so true, but when it's the same thing no matter what and where it finally dawned on me. The same thing with friends, goes overboard with helping and it's genuine, but then it goes overboard and the helping was supposed to own you somehow. When your appreciation doesn't match what she expected, too bad! That's when she talks about you with other friends. It happened with me too with much subtly, slight name calling like "how noble of you" when I said I couldn't betray my conscience. I didn't confront her. Best to simply let it go. She's like the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead...
18 months of this crap and I walked away. There is NO happy ending unless in the bedroom. She was the best sex I ever had but not worth losing my soul. Deluded, and irrational.
The exceptional street smarts and charm to outsiders is spot on. And the oversharing to self-victimize, and calling the police and authorities about everything to stack their arsenal. Then they will flip like a switch into a literal demon. Saying the most horrific things. Hair pulling, slapping, chasing with a broom, slamming doors, blowing cigarette smoke in the face, throwing full cups of coffee, pretty much any violence that doesn’t leave an actual mark so they can keep their persona going.
Thanks Lisa, this is so informative. Just ended my relationship with a malignant BPD, wow what a ride in Hell was that. Nasty, intoxicating, sexbombing, aggressive behavior versus ultrasweet and kind moments exchanged with anger and aggressive attacks. It was all there. Thank God, you are here to educate us all.♥️
Absolutely. And don’t forget the triangulating, using your own relatives to attack you, with guiltless skill. Particularly as you excel in your career, every promotion or professional recognition will result in an equal but opposite reaction. Offering her gifts resulted in accusations of my supposed guilty conscience. While I grant that she had her childhood traumas, the stories she offered lacked conviction. I don’t believe the stories were in fact her actual trauma. You deserve a sane partner, there are sane women out there, please leave this damaged person ASAP. It only gets worse.
Most people seem to be like that !!! I live with my 2 Dogs !!!! I don't bother with People and now I'm 69 yrs old I'm really Happy !!!! At least I'm not a Monster like my Mother and Sister, and I've Devoted my whole life to being Happy !!!!
Well if it was a male it was probably malignant covert NPD, if it was a female it was likely BPD with some CPTSD. The CPTSD was the times when seemed like a little kid and was triggered unexpectedly and emotional flashbacks took over. The BPD was the more calculated times. Now if the male is very effeminate then could be either and if female seems more like Asperger's or Autism spectrum or an INFJ personality or the community altruistic type, then could be NPD. These are tendencies based on statistics, anecdotal experiences and research but not set in stone. The thing is the diagnoses only matter if the person is selling to get help or if you are trying to decide if there is any hope for improvement in the relationship and are trying to decide your future direction like to go or stay. There is much more therapy options / success for BPDs and CPTSD, Schizo Effective disorder and Bipolarity, which can look like all the above but there is very little hope for NPD AND ASPD (antisocials) tbh. The thing with malignants, whether Cluster B's or Dark Triads, is lack of desire to change or assess themselves and get awareness and empathy. BPDs usually know something is off and wrong and want to change whereas NPDs don't. But the follow through matters and each person with them tends to be on a codependent spectrum so they need to do work on themselves too. It's not an either or but it doesn't mean you have to dot he work in group or couples or even stay with that person...but never forget to look at yourself or you will be right back in similar situations with different disordered people. The issues probably have to do with childhood dynamics and tolerance levels. Work on boundaries and honest self assessment as well as communication tools if you have been around toxic people no matter what their issues were rooted in. Blessings, healing and growth to all
💯The cruelty, sadism and flip flopping between domination and playing the broken little girl victim keeps telling you everything is wrong, but you are stuck in saviour mode until you finally expose their lies or discover videos like this. This is one of the best videos on the saidistic borderline/psychopath. They are evil personified.
@Roger McMillan lol, dinner?😆 in all seriousness, I wish normals had a more broadened understanding, we will definitely never be cookie cutters, and that my friend is okay💘
I have been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and I'm currently on antidepressants and antipsychotics. I just want to say to everyone in the comments: we're not all wicked. Please, I'm trying my very best to get better and reading people saying so many mean things just really makes my heart sink. I'm not a monster, I just want to feel loved like everyone would. I don't want to hurt anybody.
The video at the beginning mentions antisocial personality on top of borderline though, and antisocial personality is basically a psychopath. So that never ends well. Just BPD on its own is treatable ❤
Yes, I can hear you and believe you. At the same time there are others who do incredible amounts of damage to people and their stories have to be heard too. Keep up your efforts and have peace in your life.🙏
thankyou for speaking up Leatitia. i also have BPD (&CPTSD) and i watch videos like this to see if i can see any patterns that i do and how it may affect people in my life but watching these videos doesnt help. it just makes me feel horrible and sends me into a guilt spiral- even when i know what youtuber or commenters say holds no truth, this is how the world perceives me. if you know anything about BPD then you know it severely affects our emotions, so saying were doing this or that to be manipulative is just not accurate. if i'm being vulnerable, its because that's how i FEEL. simple as that. its all you "normal" people that try to overcomplicate it and see more to it than there is. it may seem like i rage for no reason, but your not in my head, i promise there is always a reason. we might seem childish sometimes- again not an act of manipulation, but a result of trauma and disruption in childhood. Leatitia, i'd highly recommend watching videos on youtube by dr fox - he specialises in personality disorders and is so understanding when he talks about them. id also like to point out that if you also have PTSD like many with BPD, then talk therapy can actually make it worse. the childhood trauma fairy is a great source for people with CPTSD
I lived with someone diagnosed with BPD. So, in my experience, the person with BPD was very possessive of the intimate partner. Also, felt threatened by his family or relatives, even his kids. In addition, occasionally, she went into severe rages, even toward someone she never even saw and rarely spoke to. In addition, at other times, she would attack someone, by being very verbally abusive. Also, she put on a persona, so to speak, of being very sweet and almost childlike.
May I ask, in what way did you feel threatened by the persons family and kids? Threats?Stalking? Was there an ex involved as well in the background pulling strings? I’ve heard about this sort of things in NPD dynamic families but not BPD (the ppl connected to the partner problems).
@@macnchessplz BPO is the baseline, so borderline style at a core, with NPD or bpd being the presentation to us and everyone else, it's simply environmental. BPD is more explosive and violent, NPD is more emotional and mind fucking style of abuse. It comes down to the lack of premeditation with BPD, or proper premeditation which cannot be done logically ujder severe emotional distress
So true! My ex wife got so bad, she purposely destroyed everything I had worked for, and caused me no end of problems. I'm divorced now, and even 20 years later am only just now calm, and still owe money to the bank. It's great to be free of it now. So exhausting.
Sorry to hear dude. Wow. Yep I think it's under reported how many women have these personality problems, which usually end up devastating their partners. Good luck to you
@@snOags Thanks, buddy. It's a learning curve for the young lads out there, hopefully the internet can head these lunatics off before they destroy more lives. Have a great day, man.
I had the unfortunate experience of being with a borderline who, up to this video, I could never quite figure out. She came on far stronger and seductive than any woman I had ever been with, doing things to ensure she knew I thought she was like hitting the lottery. But, a few months into it, the real ride began, and holy cow, what a ride it was. She *craved* the emotional intimacy I could provide her, but would, without blinking an eye, cut it off if she felt I was getting too close. Of course, this made me want her even more, and she used this to spend time with me only when I went to the furthest lengths for her. She would flake out on every commitment, and ultimately left when she met someone with more resources. It was the most difficult "relationship" I've ever had to extract myself from, namely because one half of my brain was certain we were this spectacular match, while the other knew this was going to ruin me in every way possible. That was 4 years ago, and I still have ripples in my life because of it. My confidence has never quite been the same, and I had to block her, otherwise she would open up that emotional tap when she could, take the attention, then shut it off just as quickly. It was the opposite of real intimacy, and every day I'm grateful it's one more day in the past, and that I didn't lose it all in the process. I've made mistakes in relationships. But, this one made my own frustration and anger at her total lack of follow through with any sort of commitment into an inquisition into *my* behavior. So screwed up.
@@LiseLeblanc yes..my x..would lure you in and 100 percent cutoff..all interest ..care... compassion... ultimately..she left me when I was ill with covid...2 years later I am much much better..and have a wonderful dog...who I care for dearly..and look forward to a normal relationship with a woman..glta..and thanks for all you do Lisa ❤
@@LiseLeblanc ...and thank you for making accurate content about BPD, and just how devastating it can be to someone who doesn't know what it is-- I had never heard of it before meeting her. But, every bit of information I learn about what it is, and just as importantly, what it is not, helps me put that painfully lost period of my life into perspective.
@@CalmBeforeTheStorm76You have certainly made my mind up buddy, when you actually read word for word what is happening in your own relationship,,,,,,thank you so much bud and Lise for her life changing videos Respect ❤🤙
I so badly wish I saw something like this when I was in early adulthood. I pissed away half a decade on someone that everyone I knew at the time tried to pry me off of. I eventually got out of it but with severe, permanent psychological damage and an inability to trust others. She's somewhere out there, popping out trailer park spawn and probably ruining her life elsewhere. Never forget that there is a beautiful world out there, and you owe it to yourself to experience it without someone routinely inflicting pain on you.
People suffering from this disorder often end up homeless. Especially if they have a substance abuse disorder. It's really sad. The combination or their antisocial and angry outburst often make it to where no one can stand being around them for very long.
I was that and I was homeless Yes I had many of these, but inwas stopping before the person goes down. But I recovered, stay focused and you can do it.
Bert, what you gonna do? They get violent when it escalates. I have bpd cluster C. I know I'm damaged goods so stay out of any love, it's very very lonely and sad but it's not fair to have a relationship unless healed etc. Good luck, but please, if you keep being put down, call her out, quietly. they need someone to stand up to them and shown its not acceptable, that's if you can do this day in and day out, day in day out, yada Yada Yada. 🤔🙏
@@tracynewton3083 relationships can heal. Mine healed me. And my husband. I had BPD too. Now I look back and see how much help I needed and how long I lived in the most dangerous fog. The right man will heal you and you will heal him.
I cannot believe how SPOT ON THIS IS LISA ! I did get out after 8 years , have been out 4 months , first 2 we VERY DIFFICULT , trauma bond ….. so you are truly very articulate and amazing Lisa !!! Thank you , God Bless you !!!!!
same here, 8 years together, 7 months apart now, done ptsd therapy, it worked, now doing talking therapy, definitely seek help to break the trauma bond, videos like this really help
I was physically assaulted beaten/ punched/ strangled literally out of nowhere 2 days ago by my so called "best friend" of 17 years... I am now VERY aware she is a narcissist with BPD it was terrifying bc she was drunk and took her rage out on me and her guy roommate who has been assaulted by her weekly she ripped his beard OFF in chunks !! she's always told me only HER side and never the whole truth well I'll NEVER trust her side again I blocked her and I'll never look back ...
Wow that sounds horrific, Alcohol is one of the triggers for my soon to be ex partner she attacked me in a similar way two months into our relationship I'm lucky I'm strong it started playful but was rapidly getting out of control . She sometimes gets aggressive trying to find my breaking point, thanks to these videos I've eventually realised I need out of this toxicity. Best wishes hope you've made a full recovery physically and mentally ❤
As I sat here listening to this video, all I could think of was why I didn’t look into this 8 months ago. My life has been so chaotic since I met her. Each day and month getting worse and with so many ups and downs. I’m accused of lying daily now, instead of every few days. I was in this for all the right reasons. Never doing anything but trying to regulate her feelings about me and her feelings about life and how much it sucks ti be her. It was a full time job. Hours upon hours of “push/pull” arguments where I get her to believe me, for her to come at me with another accusation only hours later. The worst part, she didn’t do this until after we got married 7 months ago. It’s like a switch flipped on after we signed our names. All of a sudden, “she made a mistake” and now for the last 5 months, it’s been the most horrible experience I’ve ever experienced with any woman I’ve ever been with. I married this woman. It meant a lot for me to even do that period. All for nothing. I’m so hurt. I don’t even know how to describe feeling like I was just in the worst nightmare ever. Divorce papers are on the way and, I didn’t even get to be a husband. I’m 47 and I thought I had a good judge of character. Idk anymore.
hallo my friend, i send you a big amount of stoic energy from germany. i am 44 now and i married the same demon, but 14 years ago. i am happy for you ,that you get out of this nightmare after just 8 months, so you could get a glimbs, a little preview of what would be the end of your life. ..it semms that i booked the whole party programm, because i started my trip with making her pregnant, what kept me in this relationship is on the other side the best thing that i did in my life, our daughter, maybe you know the term: for ,my doughter i would go to hell and back, well, i just did exactly that. in 2019 i nearly Died because of an accident while i was highly alcokol abusive 24/7 and depressive, i was just ready to go. Drunk at a lvl that a normal person wouldntsurvive at all , i fell several times very hard on the ground, always trying to stand up jut to smash evem harder with my head on a congrete stepstone in my garden outside the house, my wife told my that suddenly i passed out after she heard my head sounding like a peace of wood hitting concrete. i wasnt breathing for 1 minute or so she told me. everybody else would call ambulance at this point, she just called my parents later to come and take my away. later i realized how dangerous this was, i could have had an invisible injury or sth, else. .....i make it short, i dont drink alcohol anymore since 2020 when i hat 5 months rehab. i changed my state of mind, my thinking, the way i experience things and judge them. so i always say: that poor guy that yall knew died in oktober 2019. better dont mess with the guy who returned from the rehab . since then i started war against vaccination, against all people who became a danger to non vaccinated, even most ppl at my work...man and thanks to putin they stopped the fake pandemy, because i was about to buy an AK47 . you know what? at this time all lies are coming up regarding corona, and all the vaccinazis calm down prettyfast but i remember them. you must be thinkig; ok but what about the narcisstic wife etc? well since i came back she seems to know that im different, like she can sence that im no victim any more. i aalways confront her with things she messes up, she always accused me same as your wife did and i never knew why...i tell you why; because the make these things themself , always and worse, so they mirror their shit on us, and we morons think how to prove ourselfs, instead of turning all back on them, an now as i do so, the universe seem to work on my side, like karma getting in action, i nevr was religious or sth but at least i started to trust my gutts, ...i found proove that she is lieing and betraying from the beginning! itwas a Notification from one Dr to another Dr , dating 10.10.2010 - one month after mariage!!!! that : the abortion was successful with big loss of blood and some notes about treatment.... WTF what abortion? after getting first child, than buying a house together , than getting married to start the normal life thing, she makes an abortion and nobody knows it... so, make yourself hard . train yourself to change your perspective on ppl in general: stop trying to help everybody, stop fixing their problems , kick beggars and whining manipulators right in the nuts as you see them...and get rid of narcists greets, konrad ps ; maybe next time i write in german and let AI translate, sorry about that english
@@konradu1980 Wow man! That’s a lot and, don’t worry about your English, I understood everything you said. Thank you for sharing your story. Firstly, I’d like to congratulate you on your sobriety. I’ve been alcohol free as well for going on 18 years now and, I know the struggle all too well. Alcohol is a poison, a bandage that covers a wound that never heals. I hope you stay strong and healthy. Narcissistic people, especially women, use their gender as a weapon to help push their manipulative agenda. After all, women are so sweet and innocent right? How could a woman plan, manipulate, and almost destroy a good man with no remorse? Well, as you and I know, they can and do. Since my post, I’ve almost ended my life a couple of times. Her voice in my head telling me I’m nothing, I have nothing and, will always be nothing to anyone I meet, was so loud in my head. For context, I’m Canadian and, she’s from the United States. The pandemic travel restrictions hadn’t been lifted yet and, for me to even see her in person meant, I’d have to take the chance and put one of those poisonous jabs in my body. I did exactly that just to see her. I have a diagnosed brain disease so rare that, 1 in 750,000 people get it. She knew that and knew that me putting this so called “vaccine” in my body was like Russian roulette. It was a testament to how much I loved her, needed her and, that I’d go to any length to be with her. It didn’t matter. 8 weeks after taking vows, she crushed me after I arrived back in Canada. She started a smear campaign online for all to see. I didn’t respond. She flirted with men online (my new wife) who was supposed to be my world, just stabbed me mercilessly while I became numb. I e been through so much mentally since July of last year, my life has changed. I’m not the man I was one year ago. I say very little, I don’t trust women. I feel like I’m ready to go off on someone and hurt them badly, even though I know I won’t. I mourned the loss of her like a death. I’ve cried and been angry every single day for 10 months. This has never happened to me in my 47 years of life. She completely drained me. Nothing I did mattered. Nothing I said mattered and, I now realize that I was fighting a battle that was impossible to win. I went no contact with her for the last 5 months as I tried my best to heal and get myself back together. Just yesterday……she messaged me. “I miss you and I’m sorry” were the words I got on my phone. I haven’t responded and, I don’t think I will but, it shows me that she ran out of supply with someone else and, thinks I’m weak to give her more of my energy. This woman almost cost me my life and sanity. I played with my already bad health just to touch her in person and flying out to California 3 times last year from Toronto. I’m glad you have the strength I didn’t have my friend. I’m trying to get that strength too. I know one thing is for sure, my guard is up, my pain is real, I do matter, I’m not someone that should be used and thrown away like garbage. I will never let someone destroy me like this again. An entire year of my life wasted on one person who doesn’t love me. Stay strong my friend and thank you for your story and kind words. I hope I can stay on my path of healing and, being focused while she tries to manipulate me more. Much love 💯
My mother. Things fell apart for her and then in my teen years, she became an absolute mess. It was the first time she told me she hates me and I’ve never been the same since. Of course, she denies she has ever said that to me even though it has happened at least 10 other times since. She would get me locked up in the juvenile detention center for the stupidest things (like not cleaning my room and being “mouthy”) and would file charges against me in juvenile court for unruliness (which is for children that are OUT OF CONTROL). Now I am 40, homeless, and have been diagnosed with MS and epilepsy. And everyone asks “Can’t your FAMILY HELP YOU??” Wow why didn’t I think of that?? 🙄 They are speechless when they hear that the answer is no.
My story is similar. Yeah I’m homeless and Gee I didn’t think to ask my mom who is a narcissist, etc.. I have lupus, and the story goes on and on so I feel for you too
Chronic health problems tend to surface in people with the misfortune to be close to cluster b nightmares. Technically i am also with chronic illness and homeless but I'm not doing too badly tbh. I have a van and enjoy traveling. But no mistake, my bpd and npd siblings robbed me blind when i was so sick i was near death. That's a big factor why i have almost nothing now. Life is still good though, and I hope things start to look up for you soon❤
Sounds familiar, most of these individuals never see the inside of a mental health clinic, i can't say, if they ever did they wouldn't let them out, not by todays standards, theres more on the out then in. I realised at about 5 years old after a beating, having my head smashed against the oak banister then tossed down the stairs only to be thrown outside, and told ,dont go far, ha, a 4.5 year old , dont go far, right! There was never any natural motherly connection made, she is as much a stranger to me then any homeless person on the street. I have seven in my family. I was also told i was hated, along with other in my family. Shes 93 this month and still tries to control and manipulate but the age contradicts all that other busy shit storm drama, undiagnosed she is , so my reqdings suggest strongly shes npd apd right till the last breath, rooted deep and zero chance of change. Good luck to you .
Don't be afraid of them but don't have anything to do with them. Hurting other people is a deadly sin and in the end their bitterness will prove to be their own destruction. What goes around comes around. If you intentionally sow the seeds of pain and suffering among your fellow beings through malicious behavioral tendencies that's EXACTLY what you'll reap in return.
Omg I've been watching your videos about BPD after breaking up with my ex and realising she had a lot of these traits. Then I seen the thumbnail of this video with Beth from Yellowstone, which my ex started watching and massively idolised that character and after I called her dysfunctional after watching her have a melt down in an episode got verbally attacked by my ex for saying what I said, almost like I was attacking her. All these dots are confirming what I have always thought, thank you for the information.
This video describes female BPD but my husband is exactly as described. I’ve never met a man who cries more than a neonate. Devil 👿 in person. He has put my life in danger so many times. Creates chaos out of nothing. I see on these comments and other forums that some male victims of Bpd abuse often find it hard to let go. I’m baffled. I can barely stand the sight of my husband. I get a knot in my stomach like I’m going to be sick physically just seeing him. Worse of all I feel so disgusted in myself that I put up with such evil for so long. I was so demoralised by drama, manipulation, gaslighting, victim hood...I’m going to need cleansing of my spirit and all parts of my body, total detox once this is over😢
This sounds the closest to my ex wife's personality. She was diagnosed bpd. I've looked a lot into narcissism with some of the behaviour but malignant bpd is pretty much nail on the head.
Me too... been sure it was narcissistic or malignant narcissist disorder cluster B looks alike to the lay person... this description nailed my ex too ... its different actually more dangerous
You've cleared up so much confusion involving my ex girlfriend, she has been diagnosed with BPD but hey cruel behaviors were so much more than just that. Thank you.
Sounds exactly like an ex-girlfriend I had "taken in" about 15 yrs ago. Everything you mentioned described the roller-coaster 16 month nightmare LOL. I knew she had issues, just didn't know how bad until I walked away from her for good. She was a valuable lesson learned!
I am experiencing all of these horrible issues right now. My soon to be ex-wife, who has been diagnosed with BPD. The relationship has been a brutal experience for me.
Be very careful. When they get distressed they can and will call the police on you. Even if you’re not arrested a restraining order is sure to follow. Don’t raise your voice, don’t argue. Just leave and carry a device to voice record her if you must talk to her
OMG - I love your videos, I spent a whole year wasting my time in marriage counselling with a 2 woman versus me situation. I am 100% certain that postpartum depression triggered Borderline Personality Disorder in my wife and for 20 years now I have had to deal with her insanity. Sad is I've asked, begged & screamed at my wife to see professional help but she refuses. I believe she refuses because she doesn't want to be embarassed with a BPD diagnosis. At the same time as being a BPD nutjob my wife is 100% functional in her job as a software engineer, her coworkers have no idea that she is crazy.
I was on the yellowstone facebook group and all the women want to be Beth because they think she is the most ideal woman and think she would be the best mother ever.. but she's just some evil drunk.. It shocked me so much how they idealize her. Thank you for bringing this up.
I know it well. Lost my kids too. And my boy is seriously messed up from it. They have nothing to do with me, their heads full of lies and false memories about me. Had to throw in my career that I worked so hard for, just to break away from what would have been a lifetime of debt repayment and whatever she could squeeze out of me. They will destroy a person, with no remorse for it. Stay well away from them.
I'm here to warn to not try to mirror the behavior back at them in hopes they see the error of their ways. They won't and even worse, they'll use it as fuel against you. Just don't do it. Also, you will feel agitated, tired, emotionally scared and worn. Don't let them convince you on the inside that you are the problem. Kindly exit yourself from the relationship and go seek help from friends, family and therapy. There's nothing to prove with these people. If they want something as their standard of living, let them have it but don't participate. They'll be having you roll in the mud with them if you do. If you do roll in the mud with them, they'll use it to try to convince you that you are the problem. If you gave into the temptation of mirroring their behavior. All hope isn't lost. Leave and heal. And know that there are people out that understand.
Even if i never clapped back, never even a snide remark, it doesn't matter, i still would be the worst abusive creature to ever walk the earth and deserved everything she gave me😂
Had to go through a divorce with a Malignant Narcissist (‘Malignant Narcissism’ term coined by Eric Fromm 1964), what a traumatic ride! Prior to leaving her, I also survived at least two covert attempts on my life by this Succubus of a ‘Woman’, after surgery for cancer. Only realised all of this once I had left her, then all of the lightbulbs went on in my head! Now I’m glad I had the experience, and managed to survive, as it woke me up to a better life. Many victims have died at the hands of these entities, often covertly; if you’re convinced that you’re in a relationship with one of these, get out of it! You are worth so much more, stop being a people pleaser and co-dependent; no matter how bad their childhood experiences were, it’s no excuse for their malevolent and deadly treatment of others.
Yes some of these women are capable of killing. Sadly my son married a Malignant Borderline. Her first husband's friends tried to warn my son and encourage him not to marry her saying that she drove their friend to take his own life. She is jealous of his relationship with his daughter from a previous relationship. She is threatened by me. My son has been isolated from his friends and has cut all ties with his Dad and me. She tracks his location and calls. He is a nervous wreck. He has been very close to a breakdown. My granddaughter is suffering due to the emotional and verbal abuse. RUN PEOPLE!! like your life depends on it!!!
My first clue came when she and her two sisters were all drinking together for most of a Saturday and they started talking about her first husband! I thought I was the second, but it turns out I was the third. And during their drunken gabbing she admitted she started poisoning him a little at a time but his mother suspected something was wrong and got him the hell out! It was just after this that I accidentally found out one of the sisters had been having sex with her since they were teens! And I spied on our home computer usage and found out she was screwing other people all the time, both men and women. It was mostly at lunch time. I followed her and found out she had a tiny apartment! Luckily, because I documented everything I could, we parted without much drama or monetary pain. Yet, over the years, she has tracked me and let me know she’s found me several times. She’s been married and divorced twice because both exes reached out to me! An ex girlfriend showed up where I lived (!) and poured out a litany of abuse and outright monetary theft. But then wept that she still loved her and it was the best sex ever….It seems never ending but in actuality it’s been about seven years since I’ve been contacted by any of these psychos. She love bombed me and sex bombed me and then, over 6 years, broke me. I was convinced I was nuts. People could not believe the depths of her depravity. I’m lucky I documented it.
@@forrestgossett Although painful to read about your experience, you document it with such authority, and confidence. I feel that you are in control of your own destiny now. My Succubus Narcissist was in a sexual relationship with her younger Son. I’m not precisely sure just when she started the physical incest (but I’m pretty sure she must have started grooming him from an early age)
Continued….I’m quite convinced that she started the physical side with him when he was like well underage…Incest and Peadophilia….Definite traits of a Malignant Narcissist
@@matthewdowling3866 I’m afraid this is more common than is realized. What I’ve seen/recognized even more is an emotional ‘incest’ if you will, between a mother and a son. The husband will become the whipping boy. If there is more than one son, only one will be the golden child. Works with daughters too.
No one just wants to be toxic. We end up normalizing toxicity either due to our environment or poor parenting. The rest is also part of the general abusive and narcissistic society these days. We tend to belittle honest people as weak. It’s simple but not easy.
when I left she tried to destroy me. So i went after her. I let the cops know that she was dealing meth and always high on it as she drove her kids around. not long she was in jail.
@kaw boy a narcissistic injury is when a narcissist is heavily offended from an action that targets they're fragile ego. The action can be either real or perceived.
unfortunately, you just placed the missing piece of the puzzle in this horrific time I spent attempting a band with a BPD. Reading through every book I could find on BPD, people talk of these apologizing and fawning times. I never had any of that. Looking back, what ruined me the most was that, even after publicly destroying and yelling at me in front of my friends and strangers about not being confident, not being creative, and forcefully planting a puzzle like "If you can't hear me, we can't do a band together!" (riddles that I never, ever got an answer to, apart from 'we shouldn't talk about the past, I'm not a fan".) I never got any apologies, ever. She just got a pleased look on her face when I justified her horrible treatment of me by somehow in my mind convincing myself I saw a cry for help in these episodes, and I'd say something like, "Maybe, there's some stuff I need to learn, just give me time to catch up, I'm so sorry you saw me struggle', just know that I won't let you down like the others in the past did, I'm here for you, you can trust me." She'd just say, "I knew we'd get past that" and change the subject to something trivial. Luckily I saw her turn into a little child one day when I'd unknowingly pushed back and disrupted the plot for her revenge on me for saying she should try to do vocal scales every or so if we want to be really good (I was doing them, that's what you do to get stage ready.) I worked out that night it was borderline. But why, when we didn't have a physical relationship, something that also embarrassed me, not because I was exploiting the situation, but because someone had explained to me at the end that "she's been abused and let down horribly by so many men, sometimes MULTIPLE MEN SHE WAS SEEING AT ONCE" (!!!??????????) (?????????!!!!!!!) What! this person don't see the contradiction in this??? seriously? This was only 3 months. everybody was telling me to get away, get a way. i did, but I wanted to see something first, reflecting on this. After I realized the revenge. What i needed though, was to go from that initial abuse where she accented these minor insecurities in me, which everyone has, to the point in which I could clearly see that she was a fumbling mental midget who everybody kept a firm distance away from. A stage in which I left her hanging after her revenge for weeks, saying i was sick. She'd realized I was on to her plot, and she fumbled like an idiot trying to reverse what she'd done, because she simply couldn't say "Maybe I should have....... before I...... I'm sorry, let's try again." Why was she fumbling when she clearly didn't care. Well, because she has 0 friends in reality and 0 prospect of getting on stage without me. And she could see I wasn't going to be continuing. I feel miserable obviously, and sick that I still see something in her (i guess my empathy because she is evidently very mentally sick) But I'm not sorry now that out of the blue, after we were texting back and forth in a nice way, 2 hours later I sent the text "never contact me again" and I blocked her across the board.
Omg you’re talking about my wife Cynthia! She’s hurting me right now ! Cops are harassing me and I’ve been going to court due to false allegations of me harassing her ! She’s claiming to be scared of me. We just had a baby and she told me my son may not be mine but didn’t tell the cops that. She just exaggerated my reaction 😢😢 … Prior to the birth of our son my wife were each others favorite people. I have all these feelings by myself now and I haven’t been able to see my son for 122 days now 💔💔💔💔
Sadly this is my adult adopted daughter. My husband passed away fairly recently and I’m sure the stress didn’t help. I keep having to have long periods of separation from her, she charms the birds from the trees and causes her partner and myself to have constant breakdowns.😔😔😔
It's a documented fact that Borderline results form complex childhood abuse and trauma during the most vital formative years of birth through approx age 6. Almost every diagnosis of BPD is partnered with PTSD (Now being labeled as c-PTSD) what videos like this fail to do however, is speak on how with proper therapy and treatment, recovery rates for BPD are xtremely high. Up to over 90% after extended years of treatment. Instead what this "therapist" does it further stigmatize the mental health disorder of an already abused person by comparing it to a TV show character
My observation in dealing with these kinds of people (frenemies, family members, partners or colleagues) is that, behind all the facade, they hide a deeply insecure, jealous, envious and competitive person. Their mask serves them to get you fooled or caught on their web, so, later on, they will hit you behind your back with everything you shared with them. They are control freaks, revengeful and bullies. You cannot count in the face that they present to you in normal conditions. There is another aspect to them that is hidden.
This is 100 percent true in my experience. They think in such black and white extreme terms that they act like children, because they run on such pure emotion. It's really horrible to witness people who don't understand there's gray in the world.
I'm a 24 year old male, and I suspect that I might have either BPD or covert narcissism (or both, as they can overlap). To describe my symptoms as quickly as possible, I have a fear of rejection, I get angry easily, I can hold grudges for years over really petty stuff, and I can get jealous really easily. I also have a really hard time talking about my feelings because I don't like making myself vulnerable. When they do reveal themselves, they often come out as anger. I have an easier time expressing anger than I do fear or sadness. It makes me feel less vulnerable and more in control, and it also gives me a sense of superiority (that I'm right and whoever I'm upset with is wrong).
You might have had some difficulties in your past but the mere fact that you have shown some self awareness precludes cluster B personality disorder. I’m female with cptsd and in my 30s. What you describe about anger and holding onto grudges I can relate to but I never revenge or deliberately hurt anyone. These traits may be as a result of childhood trauma and being treated with injustice, growing up with disordered parents, who neglected you psychologically. In my 30s I have learned to control my anger, but what I do now is not give a F* about sick folks and go no contact when anyone violates my boundaries. You may want to seek therapy to get the validation you need. I m getting divorced from a bpd male in his 30s, if he had a fraction of the self awareness you have shown in your comment, we may have worked things out, he doesn’t believe he has a problem, he is mummy’s perfect little boy who can do no wrong, who blames the world for everything
@@galacticknight55544 TT gave a good reply. I might have exhibited Narcissistic traits in my 20's. Much of it to compensate from a lousy upbringing. I became mildly successful and continued on the way up through my 30's. Along the way, met enough jackasses to see my own ways. Business is war. I'm in my early 70's. Wisdom chills you out and gives you a better value system- fancy cars, big homes, bucks in the bank mean a lot less or nothing. Treat others like you want to be treated and be kind.
You seem to be a source of information on these issues. I would like to see a video (or 10) about what a healthy and functional relationship looks like and what behaviors and personalities are a demonstration of HEALTH!!! That would be amazing. There must be one or two. Even the magazine National Inquirer has a happy page. I'd like to see some positivity. What does that look like?
Glad you mentioned this. Thanks! Vids on having personal boundaries.. what that means, those are helpful and discerning positive signs, like reasonable reliability etc. is a good one. Green flags along with the red flags to be aware of so better choices can be made. I wish I could just be naive like a carefree kid though and be safe with that. Adulthood is a bit of work..
Thank you lise this video was the most accurate description of my diagnosed borderline x that i have ever heard. I believe borderlines are on a spectrum but unfortunately I got the malignant one. I am at 10 months total no contact which has helped alot We met in may 21when she was hired as an accountant at the company I work for we had a 8 mo relationship which ended with her leaving the company before my owner fired her. I Had never felt so trapped and in such a pressure cooker in my life bieng involved with her and am just finnaly seeing hope again for better times.I was her F.P which means favorite person (not a good thing) at first she expected me to be her prince charming, 4 or 5 months later her father figure who would quietly put up with her outrageous behavior to which I would never put up with the relationship ended around the same time as when she quit about 8 mos and since then I've stayed away from her. Criminal mentality ? Yes, convicted of embezzlng. Rage filled and controlling? Check suggesting I do illegal things? Check Got off on causing others pain? Check Could cry on a dime?Check One night I woke up in bed with her and she was punching me in the back angry that I had disturbed her sleep another time she caused a 3 car pileup with me in the passenger seat totaling her car on a major down town san francisco freeway and suggested later that day we go on a romantic overnight getaway This was the most toxic woman I have ever known "be fing nice" was a saying she had framed on her wall when I first met her I should have known better what was coming just from that saying alone thank you for someone finnaly making a video about what I went through
Wow!!! Someone told me they were diagnosed with BPD a couple of years ago,,, but she didn't mention that it was also in combination with anti social,,, because this video is exactly what the last two years have been like Exactly!!! Its hard to let a young woman down until you know some facts & it's not just what we think we see Especially when they make out that they are suicidal state of mind!
There are so many videos on strategies to deal with narcs (grey rock, no contact etc), but no videos on how to deal with borderlines effectively. I would suggest if you can start such a series
My son is trauma-bonded to a borderline, who, unfortunately, is now the physical custodian of his daughter. I had full physical and legal custody of her from age 3+ to 8+. My son testified in court that she should be with us -- me and grandpa. She's 12 now, and I let go of physical custody because my granddaughter so badly wanted to live with her mother, and at the time, I didn't fully appreciate the evilness of a person w BPD. Oh do I regret that! Watching your video, I realize that this woman is a malignant borderline. My worry is for what this is doing to my granddaughter. I still have shared legal custody, but as I'm sure you know, the courts don't really attend to the issue of a child with a bad parent, if that parent is not physically hurting the child. And any law, including a court order, has no meaning to this woman. She breaks laws in dangerous ways constantly. But the skill in convincing others that whatever happened was not her fault is breathtaking!! Over the past year, the mother has somehow turned my granddaughter's affection for me and grandpa, into fear. I'm trying to wait for her to somehow recognize that she needs to get away from this woman, and I'm not going to go back to court, although I could. At this point, my GD is so bonded, trauma-bonded, I guess, and feels so emotionally responsible for her mother's well being, that to try to take her away from the mother would be like trying to take a child away from her. One of my biggest fears is that my GD will become borderline as well...I know I'm rambling on...your video was a real eye-opener. Thank you for your understanding..
What you can do with your limited time with your grand daughter is look for ways for her to individuate. Physical activity, therapy and teenage hormones will be a challenge for mum to deal with. Your GD will grow up to be codependent unfortunately, I say this as the daughter of an undiagnosed BPD, I’m in my 30s. When she hits teenage years soon the weight of mum’s demands and needs will be too much for her to bear. Open your arms as grand am ready for her to lean on and shed those tears. I felt responsible for my mum’s well being and emotions until my early 30s. But left home when I was in my mid 20s to live in a different continent. But she still found a way to suck the life outa me from a different continent. Demonic things I tell you. She’s now gaining sympathy in her victim hood and I am the bad daughter who abandoned her. I don’t care anymore, won’t attend her funeral when she passes
@@HahaT634 I can’t believe how similar your story is to my own. Thank you for sharing. Have never felt like anyone else understood what it was like to have a mother like mine. Blessings to you.
Is your son still trauma bonded? Get a psychiatrist whom specialized in abuse from BPD, NPD or other cluster Bs. take him to the psychiatrist and probably psychologist too, if possible like if he has time that he can spend with his daughter, bring her too. Probably like the other commenter say, you have to wait your GD started to wake up to her mom’s emotional abuse and need your help, but wake him up first. I hope things would get better. Record everything preferably sound recording and filming.
Hello Lise, I had just finished all of Yellowstone and I couldn’t help to think about my ex (because of Beth’s personality). When the end came around I felt like maybe this is how it will be for me and she will come around one day. Everything and I mean Everything you mentioned was her to a T. I do Love and care and wonder about her everyday. I guess I haven’t let go. It’s tough. I’ve never encountered someone like this but this video is exactly what happened. Prayers of peace, love and happiness to anyone who has or is going through this. Also for those who do this. Stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼 Thank you Lise
Stay strong! You deserve better! I’m with a male BPD and the description fits him to a T. I have to call to police whenever he kicks off. I feel sorry for male victims because society sometimes fails to support male victims. I’m going through the divorce and he’s as disruptive as can be. Sam Vaknin does videos on BPD too.
I grew up in a narc family system with a narc parent where i was teh scapegoat. Drinking was a way i coped after getting sober i found support groups for trauma where i got believed and validated for the first time from atleast one safe enough person, it was modeled to me to practice gentleness on myself and healthy boundaries. Gentleness in the regard of selftalk ofcourse, healthy boundaries to protect my inner child and my self from low blows or shitty abusive behaviour , my inner child emerged as i stod by him and protected him and followed through with my boundaries. Being the child of a narc family system definetly conditions an empath to tolerate the family's abuse. Thank God , for finding safe enough places to be believed aand be validated enough so that i could begin doing it for myself with the gentlness and the healthy boundaries iand integrity to my inner child. Now im 3 years and a half in my own healing journey from cptsd / coming from a narc family system, these narc people exist in the world, im commited to taking my space in the world and shining anyway, unapologetically and staying true to me. In the narc family system it was all about the narcisisitc parents insecurity they needed to be the center of attention ,and couldn't even give attention or love to thier own kids, thankfully i had another parent who was capeable of empathy. Today ive learnt and pracitced with thehelp of my recovery and safe enough people to be my own loving parent and give selfcompasion boundaries , integrity to my inner child and attention to my inner children getting my needs met with healthy people. God helps us empaths who want to heal from cptsd and stand in our truth , shine. and stay true to ourselves. For me its easy to see a narc person now as their energy and the way they attach comes strong, and specially if i have a need for a boundary thay rarely can they acknowledhgement try blameshifting thats my cue to stay in my truth speak it and then disenage from them. We keep healing with gentleness humor love and respect selfcompassion healthy boundaries integrity to my inner children safe eenough people in the journey to connect to , this education is helpfu to pick up on those narc energies, have healthy boundaries , and then disengage. Im the loving parent to my inner child who loves honors protects soothes and attunes to him and find safe conneciton for him. Those narcs have little to give other than try being abusive, better to find others capeable of empathy where we will feel seen heard and where connection is workeable and authentic. God speed were healing were worth it. As we stay in our truth and true to our inner children we keep healing, with attunement and gentlenes humor love respect and healthy boundaries and safe enough connection we keep healing growing and getting actual fufilment our of our relationships..
Great work! You've nailed it, and described my nex's behavior to a T. For those who are stuck in a relationship with these disordered people, my heart goes out to you. I left, and life has never been better.
I think you might have just nailed my ex-wife. 10:27 often she will get mad at you for not matching her expectations of how you should treat her, interpreting them as signs of your disinterest in her, hence perhaps your intention to just use her for a while and then abandon her. She's projecting that fear of abandonment in hyper-critical rants.
This was my ex-partner. He could be very kind, but the destructive and violent BPD rages are next level. I don't think he was ever a bad person. He had bad and destructive behaviours, but I think he struggled to actually differentiate poor behaviours vs being a bad person and therefore just accepted that. The substance abuse definitely made things alot worse, but I also understand that this was a coping mechanism to numb from perceived deficits, trauma and provided a source of false confidence. I honestly hope he is doing better. It's very difficult to find good therapists who have the time, patience and experience to help with BPD and substance use disorders when you don't have the finances to do so. We ended up going to AA a few times, but I'm not sure if he continued? I just listened to Al-Anon things online as I was always working when they were on in our area to help myself from trying to "fix" things which is a control issue in itself. It was a relief when I eventually decided to leave, but then I also feel guilt because I know abandonment is a core trigger into self destructiveness. I don't regret leaving though. It's been very freeing to be able to have peace to grow and develop. I just hope that BPD sufferers can have the same compassion for themselves that they are worthy and can exist alone as an individual and don't need validation from others.
Men with BPD often times don't, I really appreciate this humanizing comment coming from an ex, as comments have states women don't take this good at all, emotional needs = ick for men. Hope has been received 😂
And many of these types will purposely pursue married men, attempt to manipulate men that they deem "able to give them things." I have been documenting many of these cluster b disordered women for several years now. They have no scruples and are protected by a group of apologist women who don't hold these destructive women accountable for their actions.
Why pursue married men and push to divorce their wife but keep coming back and punishing over n over. They see the marriage stability and want it? And the guy looks unhappy easy target? I thought I found someone with chemistry I never had n lied never admitted any other guys. Called police making up stuff. Nightmare
I am astonished that you have completely described my only living sibling. It's just to the tee with every point you made. Thank you for posting this so I could understand more of what is going on with my relationship with her.
I knew two girls in college that got diagnosed with BPD while we were close friends. Both of their boyfriends were toxic af. They both ended those relationships and miraculously…don’t exhibit BPD any more…
RUN But it's nearly impossible! We need a new book and therapy on how to escape. It took me 24 years to partially recover from an 18yr relationship with a severe bpd. Not one counselor or even psychiatrist helped me exit. They even medicated me with anti depressants for years to just mask the need to escape. How about making some videos on the "great bpd escape"
Amazing work as usual. My Ex dumped me because I called her rude. I've studied the shizznit out of BPD and narcissm. I remember that I went round to hers to put some flowers on her car. When she found out she went mental. I now think it's because of her multiple sources of validation. I'm not 100% certain but think she had more than 1 partner/ source. It's the little things that bother me. Even after she's caused me to have a seizure. ❤️
I must admit the volatility scared me a bit from the guy I was dating, even tho I always knew he was well intentioned. And before I worked out the traits leading me to borderline he vanished. Now that I know, I understand much better and would love to be a friend, but he blocked me. I wish him and everyone well 💕
All it took was dating a borderline and now I’ll Never ever date again. She was intoxicating and wicked to the core. She got deep into my mind and heart and ripped out chunks of me. I’ll never fully recover. Never fully trust another woman. BPD or not, it’s not even worth the risk of them even possibly having BPD. If I were to get into another relationship with one I think I’d end up killing myself. Not joking.
You have described my older sister. I felt so much confusing growing up, trying to please her. But we all know that’s impossible as they like to change the rules of the game to continue manipulating. As adults we have been no contact a few times. Currently it’s been about 5 years. I don’t know if k could ever be on a room with her again.
I have seen this regression to a VERY child like state before. It was bizarre on a level I knew was an outlier…. My mother is a concurrent with (aspd) I knew she was awful and rare. In her case she was a former child abuse investigator and KNEW exactly what she was doing and was doing it intentionally for her own financial reasons. Thank you so much for this. I saw her eyes change and the demon come out in her when she’d be dialing up the verbal venom getting high on me nearing suicide. Screaming at me to end my life. I knew that was rare and a line that most narc moms don’t cross. Thanks so much for this. It’s exactly what you described (well as much as a concurrent combo can be). Im no victim or looking for sympathy btw. My story wouldn’t be any fun to read if there isn’t a mega villain anyway right? Thank you Lise, a lot…
That’s awful Colin. I’m glad you are aware of this evil and know that you are not the crazy one. My mum was a teacher and expected me to be her mum , so I can easily relate to your story. She use to remind me that I don’t have love for myself and many times asked me to leave her alone, go away from her life. I’m currently no contact with my parents and siblings and life is getting better. Wishing you healing on this journey you are on.
First time I see someone mention the eyes. Never sensed so much pure hate when that happened first time. There was the demon. I dated a BPD and dare I say a malignant one. Hope you are well Colin.
I swear it's in the eyes! When my bpd mom would get angry, she looked like a completely different person. Her eyes got brighter green and intensely shiny, the power of her rage was physically visible and incredibly scary. I'll never forget her looking me dead in my eyes with her fist up saying "i'll fucking slug you right here" my mom doesn't even talk like that, she was talking to me like we were in a bar fight, meanwhile i was a 15 year old girl who had no idea what was going on. Watching my mom turn into a stranger was really traumatic because even when she comes back into form, i don't know who she really is. She could go from acting like a little lost child to an angry biker in the span of a few seconds, that level of emotional whiplash is soo confusing and exhausting. We barely talk now that i'm an adult, and she is dedicated to blaming me for the reason we are not close. The final assault.
"I knew she was awful and rare" - I'm sorry, but that made me laugh out loud. Maybe it's just the nonchalant manner in which you wrote that, or because I feel like I can relate. Much love to you.
I used to have relation with such sort of woman. They are getting worse with ages. Severe rally. Several years after was studying cluster B. Now can say it is malignant bpd. Every day she sees when I am in social network. I know it. I am still her favorite person. No contacts with her. I was deeply ruined and lost a lot of money. No remorse. No apologies. Evil. Pure evil. Do not ever think that your case will be better one. RUN. RUN. RUN.
This is my daughter. She is vicious. She has verbally and demeaned me her whole life. Unless she wanted money. I gave and gave each time she would love me. It didn't work. Her husband has recently divorced her after 15 years of what he had endured physical and mental abuse but kept quiet because he was ashamed of being a male being abused. They have two sons 7 and 4. And I thank God for him and his parents as there is already signs of trauma in the boys. My precious grandsons don't want to go to her house they want to stay with daddy or grandma and grandpa. They have 50/50 custody
They say her house is a nightmare house. Unfortunately I don't have much access to my grandsons as I have Parkinson's but thankfully my son in law and his parents include me as much as they can.
People with BPD are generally created by abusive absentee parents.. narcissists that won't take responsibility for the pain that caused in the child's life. Your daughter likely rightly believes you deserve every bit of pain you feel now.
You were right, Lise. I was convinced she was quiet subtype because she was relatively meek before she went nuclear. But this described everything I've experienced. Thank you for bringing this to light.
I cant believe as a subscriber for over a yr that im just getting this. ive actually allowed the FIRST Red Flag of the DSM /triad half dozen that are absolute NO NO's (the allowed "apologize/Hoover/love bomb/etc ...) only for it to be the ammunition to (once AGAIN) door going from cracked open to HER driving a tank through the house. Hard to believe i missed this video being subbed this long. SPOT ON! Thank You For Another Awesome Diagnosis Depiction
Could you imagine suspecting a parent with this? I can tell stories. Many of them. Reason why undiagnosed is the parent denigrates psychology and psychiatry, even to bully me off antidepressants and uses blackmail to do it.
In our culture the narrative is focused on abusive men almost exclusively and yet the malignant borderline is almost always a woman. They are abusive to their children who suffer life-long emotional damage. No one asks what they do to their sons and daughters, but particularly their sons. I am nearly 73 years old, female, and I've spent a lifetime trying to get over having a malignant borderline mother. As hard as it was for my sister and I I'm so glad that we didn't have a brother because it would have been even worse for him.
I think it's 50:50 now on borderline, and women are just as likely to be narcissistic anymore. Especially, in the last 25-30 years, or so, as well. Here,in the States. 🇺🇲 It's a growing Worldwide phenomenon, also. RE: Narcs.
All your videos are so professional and knowledgeable and compassionate. Thank you. This one is also chilling. I am afraid I have a “type” and may be choosing progressively worse people instead of better. Thank you for helping me to see red flags. Interestingly my mom has BPD traits and my dad ASPD traits, while both have narcissistic ones. Humbling to see all this. And scary.
WRONG. This is incredibly unprofessional, misleading and it only serves to get people who are in struggling or abusive relationships to have a scapegoat. It's called "making up a diagnosis that doesn't exist" and it's disgusting.
I've had a boyfriend with BPD and bipolar disorder, it was a nightmare that ended with me trying to get away from the abuse and him hanging himself as a revenge act. It was 15 years ago now but I still feel such shame and remorse. I know its not my fault but the fact remains, if I hadn't given up on him, he would not have died
Ist time in my life, I found my Great Wall Boundary. There's a longtime past love that came into the picture. The prior abuse was so great, I blocked her. She may be on the cusp of death, but I resolved to accept it without guilt. I remind myself, I'm not going to live forever and doubt she'd even make an effort to go out of her way to see me off. I don't deserve the guilt ...period.
Had a friend who used heroin back i nthe 90's and he quit bc he was in love with me and thought we had a future but I had no idea and had no interest in him anyway so I had when he was in rehab been with another guy and when he found out he went and used heroin, taking the same dose as when he used so he died on the toilet of a train with a needle in his arm, 27 years old leaving a small infant behind he had with an ex. I've felt guilty aswell bc I knew it was because of me but in the end it was HIS descision and that cannot be laied on me or you unless we've told them to do it or manipulated them which we havent. So you're free from your guilt, Miss. You're free.
So many men in marriages with kids are literally imprisoned within their household. They want to leave but know the courts are on the woman’s side. And with the combination of the two would and does ruin men. Too many women are able to act like this and be two faced and fool a good deal of the world.
Each one of these videos I watch it becomes more and more apparent that I was not the issue. My self esteem is gone. I truly went into this relationship knowing that she had a difficult life. Part of me wanted to be different. However it was not until we moved in that I understood why she didn’t work out with anyone else. Although I got ruined in a lot of ways I’m grateful to be thriving now and not dead.
1. Articulate and smart and appears normal.
2. Shares her pain to ensnare, manipulate you, then uses things against you.
3. Interpersonal violence, police etc
4. Lying, cheating, stealing, callous, malicious, violating rights of others
5. Substance abuse, impulsive, promiscuous.
6. Trauma bond. With your loyalty you’ll defend her.
7. Betrayal --> revenge,vindictiveness, your destruction
8. No apology, no remorse. Childlike reasoning.
9. Unstable emotions when in love. Can’t trust. Unstable attachment. Fears abandonment. Love causes emotional distress.
10. You feel sorry for her pain and trauma but you can’t fix her. Run.
Got it in one.
Nailed it, leaves you so confused you need answers.
To begin your own healing after it ends.
You described my ex with this video.
It seems like you were there to observe the shit show we had.
🎯🎯🎯🎯
So you know my ex-wife?
From an experienced divorce lawyer: great video! These people are everywhere. Don’t get tangled up with one. The divorce will be brutal. Keep up the great work!
Yes, so are narcissist. Which you may know, rule the legal profession…
1000%
@@Kristain473 Great response. But the #1 narcissist profession is pastors/priests/religious leaders.
@@TripleBeeFresh no lie detected..
Agreed, hiding in plain sight. Many are un-diagnosed, official stats don't portray reality.
I was in a long term relationship with someone I suspect strongly was suffering from BPD. The dichotomy of loving someone but hating their behavior is a torturous state to be in. Thank you for your videos.
I’ve been married to a man for 35 years who suffers from BPD. His brother said, I love my brother; I don’t like him.
Well said
Yup... I hate, and love my ex-w more than anyone, it was killing me slowly... had to leave her.
I can relate. I've been on both ends. I'm so sorry. I hope you're healing from the trauma of that experience. It can be profoundly painful.
@@lifeisgood7740 my ex's sister said the same exact words.
The malignant part makes sense. It was very confusing while in it. Zero contact is absolutely the way to go once you recognize what you are dealing with.
that the only solution, especially as ''malignant'' part means that they will infect people nearby with their toxic opinions.
Easy to say.. but when your daughter has MBD it’s a disaster.
She filed no contact order vs entire family. My psychiatrist says, dont challenge it she wont stop till she destroy you. Shocking, shocking, scary..but out all videos she fits in this category the most.
How come I didn’t see earlier?!
Wouldn’t change much I guess.
@@wutwaVo542 yes, as an outsider I watch her destroy her relationships and then if I go in to assist her she makes no attempt to be cordial. Everything is an attack. It’s so so sad.
@@klenovicaklen657 wow! MBD is that metabolic bone disease? If it is I’m sorry to hear of that and her condition! 🥺 Life itself is precious! Fragile! And nothing is promised from the Universe but to return one day to the source. Be grateful for something, friend, be courageous as courage inspires those around you to do the same. I’m sorry to hear about your story. Remember, the present moment is all we ever had, have, and will have…your current state of being is all that matters. Some days are harder than others. Be inspirational, ask nothing in return, and you will know you are blessed.
@@JUMPforyourLIFE Sorry by MBD I thought Malignant Borderline Personality Disorder.
Had a borderline friend. She turned on me. Vindictive doesn't even cut it for her behavior. Evil
Never ending cycle of criticisms, blame shifting, and guilt tripping for no reason. No thanks.
BPD + ASPD= Danger
Its amazing how "broadly" this disorder has its testicles (one that dealt with the toxicity of this disorder as a male from the female sex makes one want to ask: "Wait, do how do you know her ? Cant be possible!" 🤦🏼♂️ It is sohhhhhhhh uncanny how this level of vindictiveness/dark triadic pure EVIL these individuals are .
Same. ☠️
@@laurenesmith1554 so unfortunately we men that aren't up to just a "hook up" need to start learning the hook up (no thanks looks like ill just be a loner if it entails any more chaotic dark triadic female, although her red flags were glaringly Obvious she swore to actually start working on them...) so much for that. 👹
Mrs. Leblanc I had intentions in marrying a woman that fits this description. I saw the signs and overlooked them, until she finally went ghost on me. For that I'm grateful!
You’ll probably never see this, but I wish I could get him to leave. He has made it clear that if I get capable of/close to leaving him, he will kill me. They are so manipulative that the outside world doesn’t see how they are & even blames the victim.
Hope a door opens up for you to escape the hell of being the target of one of these entites!@
I might have 'dated' this woman about 10 years ago. She was just a full-blown liar, manipulator, user and abuser, what even seemed like multiple personality at times. She was very dangerous, and it took me some time to reprogram myself and rid myself of her poison. The thing is, she even once told me, "I'm not very nice and I'm not very smart." *RUN* when you hear such things.
They will often warn you early on. I (the fixer) foolishly thought I could help her.
mine was very smart, I got no warning
Mine did a similar thing. It really is eerie how they will try to warn you. She told me she was no good and how I would eventually hate her. Me, being the fool, didn’t heed her warning.
@@timothyleer3053 It's not about warning you, it's a pleasure they derive from playing games with you like a cat toys with a mouse.
@@zahimiibrahim3602 I think you’re right about that, a game of emotional manipulation
Oh, you've met my ex-wife, I see.
We date the same person?
Yup there are millions of them.
😆
Still stuck going on 29 years, ouch, a black religious covert narcissist , sociopath , with age she is getting worse
Thank you so much Lisa!you speak the truth,nicely explained,these type of humans are all over and around us,I’ve met a heavy one that almost ruined my life in 3 years,let them go they don’t care about it,their brain is fried no honesty or loyalty can sustain their need of more and more.it’s sicken .. but I’m free not from the trauma but the layers slowly fade away,it’s a daily progress .. om meditation and yoga helps to see things clear .stay awake
You described my evil mother here very well except she's not charming at all. Wicked and hate filled to the core. My malignant BPD mother married a grandiose sociopath. I grew up in the craziest home filled with torture and abuse. I'm 50 and still healing from all the trauma and abuse. Can't believe I'm alive and still here. I've done years of therapy, hypnosis, intense trauma therapy, UA-cam binging, read everything I could get my hands on. They will destroy their own offspring!!!!! Run, they're really demons and it can turn into scariest nightmare ever imagined.
The one book you can try that will help is the Holy scriptures, New world translation. I’ll pray for you.
Yes. They feed eachothers pathologies and you get to be tortured in all the possible ways
I’m so sorry you went through all of that
I'm 69 yrs and had an Evil Mother, exactly the Same !!!! I'm single with 2 Dogs now, and I never got married or had children !!!! I'm happy with my Dogs and People can all go to Hell !!!! I won't tolerate anyone being nasty to me ever again !!!!
Fellow childhood torture and abuse survivor I feel you
The vast majority of these people never get diagnosed. My ex-narc was so good at playing the victim that our couples therapists just wanted to protect her. She wouldn't subject herself to real therapy. She couldn't manipulate us both at the same time, though. This is how I finally was able to see through her act.
Eighteen years later and still not free from the vengeance. Gave up all possessions and a daughter whom (severely disabled) was my Heart. I am high experience, quality provider to many and just stopped any defence to malignant ten years ago. And the hits just keep on comin.
People who value me have my back. I am truly blessed with miracles constantly. My MOTTO.=-I do Not believe in Miracles--I RELY on them. Wish I had discovered you Lise, 40 years ago. Blessings to all your New Years.
Will
Love your motto, William. Thank you.
I think that to a certain degree, my Autism has protected as well as making me unaware of the games people play in life, with others.
You CANNOT change these people anymore than you can change the spots on a leopard or the stripes on a zebra.
Yea, but it's so much fun ! 😄 Kinda like having the 100,000 pieces from 20 jigsaw puzzles all together in one big box and you try to assemble them together.
@@LaVidaLocaHomieNo fun at all. It's hell. The only question is how to escape.
@@DeanneCousland Leave in your car and never, ever return.
Dear friend in the helping profession seemed to be caring and responsible but always ended up being the #2 person where she worked (and she really did work very hard), but then always found fault with the #1 person/owner/director. It took years to figure this out because the stories always seemed so true, but when it's the same thing no matter what and where it finally dawned on me. The same thing with friends, goes overboard with helping and it's genuine, but then it goes overboard and the helping was supposed to own you somehow. When your appreciation doesn't match what she expected, too bad! That's when she talks about you with other friends. It happened with me too with much subtly, slight name calling like "how noble of you" when I said I couldn't betray my conscience. I didn't confront her. Best to simply let it go. She's like the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead...
18 months of this crap and I walked away. There is NO happy ending unless in the bedroom. She was the best sex I ever had but not worth losing my soul. Deluded, and irrational.
The exceptional street smarts and charm to outsiders is spot on. And the oversharing to self-victimize, and calling the police and authorities about everything to stack their arsenal. Then they will flip like a switch into a literal demon. Saying the most horrific things. Hair pulling, slapping, chasing with a broom, slamming doors, blowing cigarette smoke in the face, throwing full cups of coffee, pretty much any violence that doesn’t leave an actual mark so they can keep their persona going.
Thanks Lisa, this is so informative.
Just ended my relationship with a malignant BPD, wow what a ride in Hell was that. Nasty, intoxicating, sexbombing, aggressive behavior versus ultrasweet and kind moments exchanged with anger and aggressive attacks. It was all there.
Thank God, you are here to educate us all.♥️
Absolutely. And don’t forget the triangulating, using your own relatives to attack you, with guiltless skill. Particularly as you excel in your career, every promotion or professional recognition will result in an equal but opposite reaction. Offering her gifts resulted in accusations of my supposed guilty conscience. While I grant that she had her childhood traumas, the stories she offered lacked conviction. I don’t believe the stories were in fact her actual trauma. You deserve a sane partner, there are sane women out there, please leave this damaged person ASAP. It only gets worse.
I dealt with a few toxic people, could be borderline, could be covert narcissism. I really am messed up now. A lot of emotional suffering.
❤💛
Gotcha Karla. I lift you up.
Yep-both- this type is scary-- dated a guy like this and their demons will certainly. Get into you
Most people seem to be like that !!! I live with my 2 Dogs !!!! I don't bother with People and now I'm 69 yrs old I'm really Happy !!!! At least I'm not a Monster like my Mother and Sister, and I've Devoted my whole life to being Happy !!!!
Well if it was a male it was probably malignant covert NPD, if it was a female it was likely BPD with some CPTSD. The CPTSD was the times when seemed like a little kid and was triggered unexpectedly and emotional flashbacks took over. The BPD was the more calculated times. Now if the male is very effeminate then could be either and if female seems more like Asperger's or Autism spectrum or an INFJ personality or the community altruistic type, then could be NPD. These are tendencies based on statistics, anecdotal experiences and research but not set in stone. The thing is the diagnoses only matter if the person is selling to get help or if you are trying to decide if there is any hope for improvement in the relationship and are trying to decide your future direction like to go or stay. There is much more therapy options / success for BPDs and CPTSD, Schizo Effective disorder and Bipolarity, which can look like all the above but there is very little hope for NPD AND ASPD (antisocials) tbh. The thing with malignants, whether Cluster B's or Dark Triads, is lack of desire to change or assess themselves and get awareness and empathy. BPDs usually know something is off and wrong and want to change whereas NPDs don't. But the follow through matters and each person with them tends to be on a codependent spectrum so they need to do work on themselves too. It's not an either or but it doesn't mean you have to dot he work in group or couples or even stay with that person...but never forget to look at yourself or you will be right back in similar situations with different disordered people. The issues probably have to do with childhood dynamics and tolerance levels. Work on boundaries and honest self assessment as well as communication tools if you have been around toxic people no matter what their issues were rooted in. Blessings, healing and growth to all
💯The cruelty, sadism and flip flopping between domination and playing the broken little girl victim keeps telling you everything is wrong, but you are stuck in saviour mode until you finally expose their lies or discover videos like this. This is one of the best videos on the saidistic borderline/psychopath. They are evil personified.
Mental illness is not evil personified. Calm down
Hardly😒
@@Peacekeepa317 thank you
@Roger McMillan lol, dinner?😆 in all seriousness, I wish normals had a more broadened understanding, we will definitely never be cookie cutters, and that my friend is okay💘
@@michelleriley7983 For him to write something like that, I'd like to hear HER side of things
I have been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and I'm currently on antidepressants and antipsychotics.
I just want to say to everyone in the comments: we're not all wicked.
Please, I'm trying my very best to get better and reading people saying so many mean things just really makes my heart sink.
I'm not a monster, I just want to feel loved like everyone would.
I don't want to hurt anybody.
❤
The video at the beginning mentions antisocial personality on top of borderline though, and antisocial personality is basically a psychopath. So that never ends well. Just BPD on its own is treatable ❤
Yes, I can hear you and believe you. At the same time there are others who do incredible amounts of damage to people and their stories have to be heard too. Keep up your efforts and have peace in your life.🙏
thankyou for speaking up Leatitia. i also have BPD (&CPTSD) and i watch videos like this to see if i can see any patterns that i do and how it may affect people in my life but watching these videos doesnt help.
it just makes me feel horrible and sends me into a guilt spiral- even when i know what youtuber or commenters say holds no truth, this is how the world perceives me.
if you know anything about BPD then you know it severely affects our emotions, so saying were doing this or that to be manipulative is just not accurate.
if i'm being vulnerable, its because that's how i FEEL. simple as that. its all you "normal" people that try to overcomplicate it and see more to it than there is.
it may seem like i rage for no reason, but your not in my head, i promise there is always a reason. we might seem childish sometimes- again not an act of manipulation, but a result of trauma and disruption in childhood.
Leatitia, i'd highly recommend watching videos on youtube by dr fox - he specialises in personality disorders and is so understanding when he talks about them.
id also like to point out that if you also have PTSD like many with BPD, then talk therapy can actually make it worse. the childhood trauma fairy is a great source for people with CPTSD
thanks, all of these comment sections become a list of ex wives,gfs and mothers
I lived with someone diagnosed with BPD. So, in my experience, the person with BPD was very possessive of the intimate partner. Also, felt threatened by his family or relatives, even his kids. In addition, occasionally, she went into severe rages, even toward someone she never even saw and rarely spoke to. In addition, at other times, she would attack someone, by being very verbally abusive. Also, she put on a persona, so to speak, of being very sweet and almost childlike.
It's not a persona.. the rage, the childlike vulnerability, most cases it's genuine. It's referred to as self states.
Yes! Been there! Infuriating when she’s doing so much damage and others only see her fake sweet side.
@@kathyhartman6586 not fake. The rage is uncontrollable and disassociation occurs to cope. NPD worse.
May I ask, in what way did you feel threatened by the persons family and kids?
Threats?Stalking? Was there an ex involved as well in the background pulling strings?
I’ve heard about this sort of things in NPD dynamic families but not BPD (the ppl connected to the partner problems).
@@macnchessplz BPO is the baseline, so borderline style at a core, with NPD or bpd being the presentation to us and everyone else, it's simply environmental.
BPD is more explosive and violent, NPD is more emotional and mind fucking style of abuse. It comes down to the lack of premeditation with BPD, or proper premeditation which cannot be done logically ujder severe emotional distress
So true! My ex wife got so bad, she purposely destroyed everything I had worked for, and caused me no end of problems. I'm divorced now, and even 20 years later am only just now calm, and still owe money to the bank. It's great to be free of it now. So exhausting.
Sorry to hear dude. Wow. Yep I think it's under reported how many women have these personality problems, which usually end up devastating their partners. Good luck to you
@@snOags Thanks, buddy. It's a learning curve for the young lads out there, hopefully the internet can head these lunatics off before they destroy more lives. Have a great day, man.
I had the unfortunate experience of being with a borderline who, up to this video, I could never quite figure out. She came on far stronger and seductive than any woman I had ever been with, doing things to ensure she knew I thought she was like hitting the lottery. But, a few months into it, the real ride began, and holy cow, what a ride it was. She *craved* the emotional intimacy I could provide her, but would, without blinking an eye, cut it off if she felt I was getting too close. Of course, this made me want her even more, and she used this to spend time with me only when I went to the furthest lengths for her. She would flake out on every commitment, and ultimately left when she met someone with more resources. It was the most difficult "relationship" I've ever had to extract myself from, namely because one half of my brain was certain we were this spectacular match, while the other knew this was going to ruin me in every way possible. That was 4 years ago, and I still have ripples in my life because of it. My confidence has never quite been the same, and I had to block her, otherwise she would open up that emotional tap when she could, take the attention, then shut it off just as quickly. It was the opposite of real intimacy, and every day I'm grateful it's one more day in the past, and that I didn't lose it all in the process. I've made mistakes in relationships. But, this one made my own frustration and anger at her total lack of follow through with any sort of commitment into an inquisition into *my* behavior. So screwed up.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! May I quote you in one of my upcoming videos?
@@LiseLeblanc yes..my x..would lure you in and 100 percent cutoff..all interest ..care... compassion... ultimately..she left me when I was ill with covid...2 years later I am much much better..and have a wonderful dog...who I care for dearly..and look forward to a normal relationship with a woman..glta..and thanks for all you do Lisa ❤
@@LiseLeblanc Yes! Please do! I would love for other people to benefit from my experience.
@@LiseLeblanc ...and thank you for making accurate content about BPD, and just how devastating it can be to someone who doesn't know what it is-- I had never heard of it before meeting her. But, every bit of information I learn about what it is, and just as importantly, what it is not, helps me put that painfully lost period of my life into perspective.
@@CalmBeforeTheStorm76You have certainly made my mind up buddy, when you actually read word for word what is happening in your own relationship,,,,,,thank you so much bud and Lise for her life changing videos Respect ❤🤙
I so badly wish I saw something like this when I was in early adulthood. I pissed away half a decade on someone that everyone I knew at the time tried to pry me off of. I eventually got out of it but with severe, permanent psychological damage and an inability to trust others. She's somewhere out there, popping out trailer park spawn and probably ruining her life elsewhere.
Never forget that there is a beautiful world out there, and you owe it to yourself to experience it without someone routinely inflicting pain on you.
People suffering from this disorder often end up homeless. Especially if they have a substance abuse disorder. It's really sad. The combination or their antisocial and angry outburst often make it to where no one can stand being around them for very long.
I was that and I was homeless
Yes I had many of these, but inwas stopping before the person goes down. But I recovered, stay focused and you can do it.
@@C.I366how did you recover?
It's uncanny how you identified everything I've been experiencing for the past 11 months and continue to. Subscribed.
Bert, what you gonna do? They get violent when it escalates. I have bpd cluster C. I know I'm damaged goods so stay out of any love, it's very very lonely and sad but it's not fair to have a relationship unless healed etc. Good luck, but please, if you keep being put down, call her out, quietly. they need someone to stand up to them and shown its not acceptable, that's if you can do this day in and day out, day in day out, yada Yada Yada. 🤔🙏
@@tracynewton3083 relationships can heal. Mine healed me. And my husband. I had BPD too. Now I look back and see how much help I needed and how long I lived in the most dangerous fog. The right man will heal you and you will heal him.
I cannot believe how SPOT ON THIS IS LISA ! I did get out after 8 years , have been out 4 months , first 2 we VERY DIFFICULT , trauma bond ….. so you are truly very articulate and amazing Lisa !!! Thank you , God Bless you !!!!!
same here, 8 years together, 7 months apart now, done ptsd therapy, it worked, now doing talking therapy, definitely seek help to break the trauma bond, videos like this really help
I was physically assaulted beaten/ punched/ strangled literally out of nowhere 2 days ago by my so called "best friend" of 17 years... I am now VERY aware she is a narcissist with BPD it was terrifying bc she was drunk and took her rage out on me and her guy roommate who has been assaulted by her weekly she ripped his beard OFF in chunks !! she's always told me only HER side and never the whole truth well I'll NEVER trust her side again I blocked her and I'll never look back ...
Wow that sounds horrific, Alcohol is one of the triggers for my soon to be ex partner she attacked me in a similar way two months into our relationship I'm lucky I'm strong it started playful but was rapidly getting out of control . She sometimes gets aggressive trying to find my breaking point, thanks to these videos I've eventually realised I need out of this toxicity. Best wishes hope you've made a full recovery physically and mentally ❤
Wow! These people will also bite you!
No amount of love can help a person like that
As I sat here listening to this video, all I could think of was why I didn’t look into this 8 months ago. My life has been so chaotic since I met her. Each day and month getting worse and with so many ups and downs. I’m accused of lying daily now, instead of every few days. I was in this for all the right reasons. Never doing anything but trying to regulate her feelings about me and her feelings about life and how much it sucks ti be her. It was a full time job. Hours upon hours of “push/pull” arguments where I get her to believe me, for her to come at me with another accusation only hours later. The worst part, she didn’t do this until after we got married 7 months ago. It’s like a switch flipped on after we signed our names. All of a sudden, “she made a mistake” and now for the last 5 months, it’s been the most horrible experience I’ve ever experienced with any woman I’ve ever been with. I married this woman. It meant a lot for me to even do that period. All for nothing. I’m so hurt. I don’t even know how to describe feeling like I was just in the worst nightmare ever. Divorce papers are on the way and, I didn’t even get to be a husband. I’m 47 and I thought I had a good judge of character. Idk anymore.
hallo my friend, i send you a big amount of stoic energy from germany. i am 44 now and i married the same demon, but 14 years ago. i am happy for you ,that you get out of this nightmare after just 8 months, so you could get a glimbs, a little preview of what would be the end of your life. ..it semms that i booked the whole party programm, because i started my trip with making her pregnant, what kept me in this relationship is on the other side the best thing that i did in my life, our daughter, maybe you know the term: for ,my doughter i would go to hell and back, well, i just did exactly that. in 2019 i nearly Died because of an accident while i was highly alcokol abusive 24/7 and depressive, i was just ready to go.
Drunk at a lvl that a normal person wouldntsurvive at all , i fell several times very hard on the ground, always trying to stand up jut to smash evem harder with my head on a congrete stepstone in my garden outside the house, my wife told my that suddenly i passed out after she heard my head sounding like a peace of wood hitting concrete. i wasnt breathing for 1 minute or so she told me. everybody else would call ambulance at this point, she just called my parents later to come and take my away. later i realized how dangerous this was, i could have had an invisible injury or sth, else.
.....i make it short, i dont drink alcohol anymore since 2020 when i hat 5 months rehab. i changed my state of mind, my thinking, the way i experience things and judge them. so i always say: that poor guy that yall knew died in oktober 2019. better dont mess with the guy who returned from the rehab . since then i started war against vaccination, against all people who became a danger to non vaccinated, even most ppl at my work...man and thanks to putin they stopped the fake pandemy, because i was about to buy an AK47 . you know what? at this time all lies are coming up regarding corona, and all the vaccinazis calm down prettyfast but i remember them.
you must be thinkig; ok but what about the narcisstic wife etc? well since i came back she seems to know that im different, like she can sence that im no victim any more. i aalways confront her with things she messes up, she always accused me same as your wife did and i never knew why...i tell you why; because the make these things themself , always and worse, so they mirror their shit on us, and we morons think how to prove ourselfs, instead of turning all back on them, an now as i do so, the universe seem to work on my side, like karma getting in action, i nevr was religious or sth but at least i started to trust my gutts, ...i found proove that she is lieing and betraying from the beginning!
itwas a Notification from one Dr to another Dr , dating 10.10.2010 - one month after mariage!!!! that : the abortion was successful with big loss of blood and some notes about treatment.... WTF what abortion? after getting first child, than buying a house together , than getting married to start the normal life thing, she makes an abortion and nobody knows it...
so, make yourself hard . train yourself to change your perspective on ppl in general: stop trying to help everybody, stop fixing their problems , kick beggars and whining manipulators right in the nuts as you see them...and get rid of narcists
greets, konrad
ps ; maybe next time i write in german and let AI translate, sorry about that english
@@konradu1980 Wow man! That’s a lot and, don’t worry about your English, I understood everything you said. Thank you for sharing your story. Firstly, I’d like to congratulate you on your sobriety. I’ve been alcohol free as well for going on 18 years now and, I know the struggle all too well. Alcohol is a poison, a bandage that covers a wound that never heals. I hope you stay strong and healthy. Narcissistic people, especially women, use their gender as a weapon to help push their manipulative agenda. After all, women are so sweet and innocent right? How could a woman plan, manipulate, and almost destroy a good man with no remorse? Well, as you and I know, they can and do. Since my post, I’ve almost ended my life a couple of times. Her voice in my head telling me I’m nothing, I have nothing and, will always be nothing to anyone I meet, was so loud in my head. For context, I’m Canadian and, she’s from the United States. The pandemic travel restrictions hadn’t been lifted yet and, for me to even see her in person meant, I’d have to take the chance and put one of those poisonous jabs in my body. I did exactly that just to see her. I have a diagnosed brain disease so rare that, 1 in 750,000 people get it. She knew that and knew that me putting this so called “vaccine” in my body was like Russian roulette. It was a testament to how much I loved her, needed her and, that I’d go to any length to be with her. It didn’t matter. 8 weeks after taking vows, she crushed me after I arrived back in Canada. She started a smear campaign online for all to see. I didn’t respond. She flirted with men online (my new wife) who was supposed to be my world, just stabbed me mercilessly while I became numb. I e been through so much mentally since July of last year, my life has changed. I’m not the man I was one year ago. I say very little, I don’t trust women. I feel like I’m ready to go off on someone and hurt them badly, even though I know I won’t. I mourned the loss of her like a death. I’ve cried and been angry every single day for 10 months. This has never happened to me in my 47 years of life. She completely drained me. Nothing I did mattered. Nothing I said mattered and, I now realize that I was fighting a battle that was impossible to win. I went no contact with her for the last 5 months as I tried my best to heal and get myself back together. Just yesterday……she messaged me. “I miss you and I’m sorry” were the words I got on my phone. I haven’t responded and, I don’t think I will but, it shows me that she ran out of supply with someone else and, thinks I’m weak to give her more of my energy. This woman almost cost me my life and sanity. I played with my already bad health just to touch her in person and flying out to California 3 times last year from Toronto. I’m glad you have the strength I didn’t have my friend. I’m trying to get that strength too. I know one thing is for sure, my guard is up, my pain is real, I do matter, I’m not someone that should be used and thrown away like garbage. I will never let someone destroy me like this again. An entire year of my life wasted on one person who doesn’t love me. Stay strong my friend and thank you for your story and kind words. I hope I can stay on my path of healing and, being focused while she tries to manipulate me more. Much love 💯
My mother. Things fell apart for her and then in my teen years, she became an absolute mess. It was the first time she told me she hates me and I’ve never been the same since. Of course, she denies she has ever said that to me even though it has happened at least 10 other times since. She would get me locked up in the juvenile detention center for the stupidest things (like not cleaning my room and being “mouthy”) and would file charges against me in juvenile court for unruliness (which is for children that are OUT OF CONTROL).
Now I am 40, homeless, and have been diagnosed with MS and epilepsy. And everyone asks “Can’t your FAMILY HELP YOU??” Wow why didn’t I think of that?? 🙄
They are speechless when they hear that the answer is no.
My story is similar. Yeah I’m homeless and Gee I didn’t think to ask my mom who is a narcissist, etc.. I have lupus, and the story goes on and on so I feel for you too
I'm so sorry for you both 😔 😞
Chronic health problems tend to surface in people with the misfortune to be close to cluster b nightmares. Technically i am also with chronic illness and homeless but I'm not doing too badly tbh. I have a van and enjoy traveling. But no mistake, my bpd and npd siblings robbed me blind when i was so sick i was near death. That's a big factor why i have almost nothing now. Life is still good though, and I hope things start to look up for you soon❤
Sounds familiar, most of these individuals never see the inside of a mental health clinic, i can't say, if they ever did they wouldn't let them out, not by todays standards, theres more on the out then in. I realised at about 5 years old after a beating, having my head smashed against the oak banister then tossed down the stairs only to be thrown outside, and told ,dont go far, ha, a 4.5 year old , dont go far, right! There was never any natural motherly connection made, she is as much a stranger to me then any homeless person on the street. I have seven in my family. I was also told i was hated, along with other in my family. Shes 93 this month and still tries to control and manipulate but the age contradicts all that other busy shit storm drama, undiagnosed she is , so my reqdings suggest strongly shes npd apd right till the last breath, rooted deep and zero chance of change. Good luck to you .
Word! I wish everyone would know that! Especially in this life times where narcissistic and traumatized people prevalent and are almost everywhere!
Don't be afraid of them but don't have anything to do with them. Hurting other people is a deadly sin and in the end their bitterness will prove to be their own destruction. What goes around comes around. If you intentionally sow the seeds of pain and suffering among your fellow beings through malicious behavioral tendencies that's EXACTLY what you'll reap in return.
Omg I've been watching your videos about BPD after breaking up with my ex and realising she had a lot of these traits.
Then I seen the thumbnail of this video with Beth from Yellowstone, which my ex started watching and massively idolised that character and after I called her dysfunctional after watching her have a melt down in an episode got verbally attacked by my ex for saying what I said, almost like I was attacking her.
All these dots are confirming what I have always thought, thank you for the information.
This video describes female BPD but my husband is exactly as described. I’ve never met a man who cries more than a neonate. Devil 👿 in person. He has put my life in danger so many times. Creates chaos out of nothing.
I see on these comments and other forums that some male victims of Bpd abuse often find it hard to let go. I’m baffled.
I can barely stand the sight of my husband. I get a knot in my stomach like I’m going to be sick physically just seeing him.
Worse of all I feel so disgusted in myself that I put up with such evil for so long. I was so demoralised by drama, manipulation, gaslighting, victim hood...I’m going to need cleansing of my spirit and all parts of my body, total detox once this is over😢
This sounds the closest to my ex wife's personality. She was diagnosed bpd. I've looked a lot into narcissism with some of the behaviour but malignant bpd is pretty much nail on the head.
To me there is no difference between a Vulnerable Narcissist and a Malignant BPD.
Me too... been sure it was narcissistic or malignant narcissist disorder cluster B looks alike to the lay person... this description nailed my ex too ... its different actually more dangerous
You've cleared up so much confusion involving my ex girlfriend, she has been diagnosed with BPD but hey cruel behaviors were so much more than just that. Thank you.
Sounds exactly like an ex-girlfriend I had "taken in" about 15 yrs ago. Everything you mentioned described the roller-coaster 16 month nightmare LOL. I knew she had issues, just didn't know how bad until I walked away from her for good. She was a valuable lesson learned!
I am experiencing all of these horrible issues right now. My soon to be ex-wife, who has been diagnosed with BPD. The relationship has been a brutal experience for me.
Be very careful. When they get distressed they can and will call the police on you. Even if you’re not arrested a restraining order is sure to follow. Don’t raise your voice, don’t argue. Just leave and carry a device to voice record her if you must talk to her
OMG - I love your videos, I spent a whole year wasting my time in marriage counselling with a 2 woman versus me situation. I am 100% certain that postpartum depression triggered Borderline Personality Disorder in my wife and for 20 years now I have had to deal with her insanity. Sad is I've asked, begged & screamed at my wife to see professional help but she refuses. I believe she refuses because she doesn't want to be embarassed with a BPD diagnosis. At the same time as being a BPD nutjob my wife is 100% functional in her job as a software engineer, her coworkers have no idea that she is crazy.
I was on the yellowstone facebook group and all the women want to be Beth because they think she is the most ideal woman and think she would be the best mother ever.. but she's just some evil drunk.. It shocked me so much how they idealize her.
Thank you for bringing this up.
Yup, to the T. My ex wife and now co-parent. Just now being able to free myself after being divorced for over 5 years. Exactly what you described
Your halo, genius, compassion, and cape are so subtly stealth it took me full microseconds to recognize! Thank you more than i can say!
I know it well. Lost my kids too. And my boy is seriously messed up from it. They have nothing to do with me, their heads full of lies and false memories about me. Had to throw in my career that I worked so hard for, just to break away from what would have been a lifetime of debt repayment and whatever she could squeeze out of me. They will destroy a person, with no remorse for it. Stay well away from them.
I'm here to warn to not try to mirror the behavior back at them in hopes they see the error of their ways. They won't and even worse, they'll use it as fuel against you. Just don't do it.
Also, you will feel agitated, tired, emotionally scared and worn. Don't let them convince you on the inside that you are the problem.
Kindly exit yourself from the relationship and go seek help from friends, family and therapy.
There's nothing to prove with these people. If they want something as their standard of living, let them have it but don't participate. They'll be having you roll in the mud with them if you do.
If you do roll in the mud with them, they'll use it to try to convince you that you are the problem.
If you gave into the temptation of mirroring their behavior. All hope isn't lost. Leave and heal. And know that there are people out that understand.
I never let those people beat me !!!! I always treat them with the Contempt they Deserve !!!!
Wow 👌🏾 👏
Even if i never clapped back, never even a snide remark, it doesn't matter, i still would be the worst abusive creature to ever walk the earth and deserved everything she gave me😂
Had to go through a divorce with a Malignant Narcissist (‘Malignant Narcissism’ term coined by Eric Fromm 1964), what a traumatic ride!
Prior to leaving her, I also survived at least two covert attempts on my life by this Succubus of a ‘Woman’, after surgery for cancer. Only realised all of this once I had left her, then all of the lightbulbs went on in my head!
Now I’m glad I had the experience, and managed to survive, as it woke me up to a better life. Many victims have died at the hands of these entities, often covertly; if you’re convinced that you’re in a relationship with one of these, get out of it!
You are worth so much more, stop being a people pleaser and co-dependent; no matter how bad their childhood experiences were, it’s no excuse for their malevolent and deadly treatment of others.
Yes some of these women are capable of killing. Sadly my son married a Malignant Borderline. Her first husband's friends tried to warn my son and encourage him not to marry her saying that she drove their friend to take his own life. She is jealous of his relationship with his daughter from a previous relationship. She is threatened by me. My son has been isolated from his friends and has cut all ties with his Dad and me. She tracks his location and calls. He is a nervous wreck. He has been very close to a breakdown. My granddaughter is suffering due to the emotional and verbal abuse. RUN PEOPLE!! like your life depends on it!!!
My first clue came when she and her two sisters were all drinking together for most of a Saturday and they started talking about her first husband! I thought I was the second, but it turns out I was the third. And during their drunken gabbing she admitted she started poisoning him a little at a time but his mother suspected something was wrong and got him the hell out!
It was just after this that I accidentally found out one of the sisters had been having sex with her since they were teens! And I spied on our home computer usage and found out she was screwing other people all the time, both men and women. It was mostly at lunch time. I followed her and found out she had a tiny apartment!
Luckily, because I documented everything I could, we parted without much drama or monetary pain. Yet, over the years, she has tracked me and let me know she’s found me several times. She’s been married and divorced twice because both exes reached out to me! An ex girlfriend showed up where I lived (!) and poured out a litany of abuse and outright monetary theft. But then wept that she still loved her and it was the best sex ever….It seems never ending but in actuality it’s been about seven years since I’ve been contacted by any of these psychos.
She love bombed me and sex bombed me and then, over 6 years, broke me. I was convinced I was nuts. People could not believe the depths of her depravity. I’m lucky I documented it.
@@forrestgossett Although painful to read about your experience, you document it with such authority, and confidence. I feel that you are in control of your own destiny now.
My Succubus Narcissist was in a sexual relationship with her younger Son. I’m not precisely sure just when she started the physical incest (but I’m pretty sure she must have started grooming him from an early age)
Continued….I’m quite convinced that she started the physical side with him when he was like well underage…Incest and Peadophilia….Definite traits of a Malignant Narcissist
@@matthewdowling3866 I’m afraid this is more common than is realized.
What I’ve seen/recognized even more is an emotional ‘incest’ if you will, between a mother and a son. The husband will become the whipping boy. If there is more than one son, only one will be the golden child. Works with daughters too.
Not all toxic people want to be toxic
agreed
Obviously talking about teens and young adults. Cause into adulthood that’s not true obviously.
Obviously unless it’s a child, it is However the toxic persons problem to fix not everyone else’s duty to put up with it
No one just wants to be toxic. We end up normalizing toxicity either due to our environment or poor parenting. The rest is also part of the general abusive and narcissistic society these days. We tend to belittle honest people as weak. It’s simple but not easy.
Toxicity is a choice. It's hard to make new and truthful choices, but it is a choice.
You’re right, the trauma can persist a long time.
when I left she tried to destroy me. So i went after her. I let the cops know that she was dealing meth and always high on it as she drove her kids around. not long she was in jail.
@kaw boy a narcissistic injury is when a narcissist is heavily offended from an action that targets they're fragile ego. The action can be either real or perceived.
unfortunately, you just placed the missing piece of the puzzle in this horrific time I spent attempting a band with a BPD. Reading through every book I could find on BPD, people talk of these apologizing and fawning times. I never had any of that. Looking back, what ruined me the most was that, even after publicly destroying and yelling at me in front of my friends and strangers about not being confident, not being creative, and forcefully planting a puzzle like "If you can't hear me, we can't do a band together!" (riddles that I never, ever got an answer to, apart from 'we shouldn't talk about the past, I'm not a fan".) I never got any apologies, ever. She just got a pleased look on her face when I justified her horrible treatment of me by somehow in my mind convincing myself I saw a cry for help in these episodes, and I'd say something like, "Maybe, there's some stuff I need to learn, just give me time to catch up, I'm so sorry you saw me struggle', just know that I won't let you down like the others in the past did, I'm here for you, you can trust me." She'd just say, "I knew we'd get past that" and change the subject to something trivial.
Luckily I saw her turn into a little child one day when I'd unknowingly pushed back and disrupted the plot for her revenge on me for saying she should try to do vocal scales every or so if we want to be really good (I was doing them, that's what you do to get stage ready.) I worked out that night it was borderline.
But why, when we didn't have a physical relationship, something that also embarrassed me, not because I was exploiting the situation, but because someone had explained to me at the end that "she's been abused and let down horribly by so many men, sometimes MULTIPLE MEN SHE WAS SEEING AT ONCE" (!!!??????????)
(?????????!!!!!!!) What! this person don't see the contradiction in this??? seriously?
This was only 3 months. everybody was telling me to get away, get a way. i did, but I wanted to see something first, reflecting on this. After I realized the revenge. What i needed though, was to go from that initial abuse where she accented these minor insecurities in me, which everyone has, to the point in which I could clearly see that she was a fumbling mental midget who everybody kept a firm distance away from. A stage in which I left her hanging after her revenge for weeks, saying i was sick. She'd realized I was on to her plot, and she fumbled like an idiot trying to reverse what she'd done, because she simply couldn't say "Maybe I should have....... before I...... I'm sorry, let's try again."
Why was she fumbling when she clearly didn't care. Well, because she has 0 friends in reality and 0 prospect of getting on stage without me. And she could see I wasn't going to be continuing.
I feel miserable obviously, and sick that I still see something in her (i guess my empathy because she is evidently very mentally sick) But I'm not sorry now that out of the blue, after we were texting back and forth in a nice way, 2 hours later I sent the text "never contact me again" and I blocked her across the board.
Omg you’re talking about my wife Cynthia! She’s hurting me right now ! Cops are harassing me and I’ve been going to court due to false allegations of me harassing her ! She’s claiming to be scared of me. We just had a baby and she told me my son may not be mine but didn’t tell the cops that. She just exaggerated my reaction 😢😢 …
Prior to the birth of our son my wife were each others favorite people. I have all these feelings by myself now and I haven’t been able to see my son for 122 days now 💔💔💔💔
This was my brother's ex. He was diagnosed with PTSD after "escaping." Three different therapists told him to run. Listen to your therapist!!!
Sadly this is my adult adopted daughter. My husband passed away fairly recently and I’m sure the stress didn’t help. I keep having to have long periods of separation from her, she charms the birds from the trees and causes her partner and myself to have constant breakdowns.😔😔😔
I think a degree of empathy is necessary. So many were raised in very unusual environments and were abused by almost everyone around them.
It's a documented fact that Borderline results form complex childhood abuse and trauma during the most vital formative years of birth through approx age 6. Almost every diagnosis of BPD is partnered with PTSD (Now being labeled as c-PTSD) what videos like this fail to do however, is speak on how with proper therapy and treatment, recovery rates for BPD are xtremely high. Up to over 90% after extended years of treatment. Instead what this "therapist" does it further stigmatize the mental health disorder of an already abused person by comparing it to a TV show character
Empathy is what got us into this situation in the first place.
@@ximar0ckstrxthank you!!
@@ximar0ckstrx thank you again for sharing your opinion and I do agree with you
@@nopereradicatormore like sympathy.
My observation in dealing with these kinds of people (frenemies, family members, partners or colleagues) is that, behind all the facade, they hide a deeply insecure, jealous, envious and competitive person. Their mask serves them to get you fooled or caught on their web, so, later on, they will hit you behind your back with everything you shared with them. They are control freaks, revengeful and bullies. You cannot count in the face that they present to you in normal conditions. There is another aspect to them that is hidden.
This is 100 percent true in my experience. They think in such black and white extreme terms that they act like children, because they run on such pure emotion. It's really horrible to witness people who don't understand there's gray in the world.
I'm a 24 year old male, and I suspect that I might have either BPD or covert narcissism (or both, as they can overlap). To describe my symptoms as quickly as possible, I have a fear of rejection, I get angry easily, I can hold grudges for years over really petty stuff, and I can get jealous really easily. I also have a really hard time talking about my feelings because I don't like making myself vulnerable. When they do reveal themselves, they often come out as anger. I have an easier time expressing anger than I do fear or sadness. It makes me feel less vulnerable and more in control, and it also gives me a sense of superiority (that I'm right and whoever I'm upset with is wrong).
You might have had some difficulties in your past but the mere fact that you have shown some self awareness precludes cluster B personality disorder. I’m female with cptsd and in my 30s. What you describe about anger and holding onto grudges I can relate to but I never revenge or deliberately hurt anyone.
These traits may be as a result of childhood trauma and being treated with injustice, growing up with disordered parents, who neglected you psychologically. In my 30s I have learned to control my anger, but what I do now is not give a F* about sick folks and go no contact when anyone violates my boundaries.
You may want to seek therapy to get the validation you need. I m getting divorced from a bpd male in his 30s, if he had a fraction of the self awareness you have shown in your comment, we may have worked things out, he doesn’t believe he has a problem, he is mummy’s perfect little boy who can do no wrong, who blames the world for everything
@@HahaT634 Well, it's easy for me to blame the world for everything too. I really don't like to admit that I'm wrong.
Sounds codapendent
@@galacticknight55544 TT gave a good reply. I might have exhibited Narcissistic traits in my 20's. Much of it to compensate from a lousy upbringing. I became mildly successful and continued on the way up through my 30's. Along the way, met enough jackasses to see my own ways. Business is war. I'm in my early 70's. Wisdom chills you
out and gives you a better value system- fancy cars, big homes, bucks in the bank mean a lot less or nothing. Treat others like you want to be treated and be kind.
That sounds like covert narcissism
You seem to be a source of information on these issues. I would like to see a video (or 10) about what a healthy and functional relationship looks like and what behaviors and personalities are a demonstration of HEALTH!!! That would be amazing. There must be one or two. Even the magazine National Inquirer has a happy page. I'd like to see some positivity. What does that look like?
same
Glad you mentioned this. Thanks! Vids on having personal boundaries.. what that means, those are helpful and discerning positive signs, like reasonable reliability etc. is a good one. Green flags along with the red flags to be aware of so better choices can be made. I wish I could just be naive like a carefree kid though and be safe with that. Adulthood is a bit of work..
Thank you lise this video was the most accurate description of my diagnosed borderline x that i have ever heard. I believe borderlines are on a spectrum but unfortunately I got the malignant one. I am at 10 months total no contact which has helped alot We met in may 21when she was hired as an accountant at the company I work for we had a 8 mo relationship which ended with her leaving the company before my owner fired her. I Had never felt so trapped and in such a pressure cooker in my life bieng involved with her and am just finnaly seeing hope again for better times.I was her F.P which means favorite person (not a good thing) at first she expected me to be her prince charming, 4 or 5 months later her father figure who would quietly put up with her outrageous behavior to which I would never put up with the relationship ended around the same time as when she quit about 8 mos and since then I've stayed away from her. Criminal mentality ? Yes, convicted of embezzlng. Rage filled and controlling? Check suggesting I do illegal things? Check Got off on causing others pain? Check Could cry on a dime?Check One night I woke up in bed with her and she was punching me in the back angry that I had disturbed her sleep another time she caused a 3 car pileup with me in the passenger seat totaling her car on a major down town san francisco freeway and suggested later that day we go on a romantic overnight getaway This was the most toxic woman I have ever known "be fing nice" was a saying she had framed on her wall when I first met her I should have known better what was coming just from that saying alone thank you for someone finnaly making a video about what I went through
Woa that is intense: first a car crash then few hours later romance. Wow!
Terrifying…. Truly, I’m sorry 🙏
@@lorenzrosenthal119 this type always thinks sex will fix anything
Omg I had a person in my life just like yours it’s a nightmare you will never get over
Wow!!! Someone told me they were diagnosed with BPD a couple of years ago,,, but she didn't mention that it was also in combination with anti social,,, because this video is exactly what the last two years have been like
Exactly!!!
Its hard to let a young woman down until you know some facts & it's not just what we think we see
Especially when they make out that they are suicidal state of mind!
I've been in this kind of relationship and I can truly tell you it has been the most devastating experience in my life.😢
This is the most straight forward no bs explanations on the topic I've seen. Thank you
There are so many videos on strategies to deal with narcs (grey rock, no contact etc), but no videos on how to deal with borderlines effectively. I would suggest if you can start such a series
My son is trauma-bonded to a borderline, who, unfortunately, is now the physical custodian of his daughter. I had full physical and legal custody of her from age 3+ to 8+. My son testified in court that she should be with us -- me and grandpa. She's 12 now, and I let go of physical custody because my granddaughter so badly wanted to live with her mother, and at the time, I didn't fully appreciate the evilness of a person w BPD. Oh do I regret that!
Watching your video, I realize that this woman is a malignant borderline. My worry is for what this is doing to my granddaughter. I still have shared legal custody, but as I'm sure you know, the courts don't really attend to the issue of a child with a bad parent, if that parent is not physically hurting the child. And any law, including a court order, has no meaning to this woman. She breaks laws in dangerous ways constantly. But the skill in convincing others that whatever happened was not her fault is breathtaking!!
Over the past year, the mother has somehow turned my granddaughter's affection for me and grandpa, into fear. I'm trying to wait for her to somehow recognize that she needs to get away from this woman, and I'm not going to go back to court, although I could. At this point, my GD is so bonded, trauma-bonded, I guess, and feels so emotionally responsible for her mother's well being, that to try to take her away from the mother would be like trying to take a child away from her. One of my biggest fears is that my GD will become borderline as well...I know I'm rambling on...your video was a real eye-opener. Thank you for your understanding..
What you can do with your limited time with your grand daughter is look for ways for her to individuate. Physical activity, therapy and teenage hormones will be a challenge for mum to deal with. Your GD will grow up to be codependent unfortunately, I say this as the daughter of an undiagnosed BPD, I’m in my 30s. When she hits teenage years soon the weight of mum’s demands and needs will be too much for her to bear. Open your arms as grand am ready for her to lean on and shed those tears. I felt responsible for my mum’s well being and emotions until my early 30s. But left home when I was in my mid 20s to live in a different continent. But she still found a way to suck the life outa me from a different continent. Demonic things I tell you. She’s now gaining sympathy in her victim hood and I am the bad daughter who abandoned her. I don’t care anymore, won’t attend her funeral when she passes
@@HahaT634 I can’t believe how similar your story is to my own. Thank you for sharing. Have never felt like anyone else understood what it was like to have a mother like mine. Blessings to you.
Is your son still trauma bonded? Get a psychiatrist whom specialized in abuse from BPD, NPD or other cluster Bs. take him to the psychiatrist and probably psychologist too, if possible like if he has time that he can spend with his daughter, bring her too. Probably like the other commenter say, you have to wait your GD started to wake up to her mom’s emotional abuse and need your help, but wake him up first. I hope things would get better. Record everything preferably sound recording and filming.
I know I have borderline personality disorder, but I hate my outburst and I absolutely hate hurting others, especially the ones I love 💔
But you do and ppl must avoid you. You should just delete yourself. No one Will miss you, I promise you 😅😅😅😅
Then do the work.....
You just described my girlfriend. I have BPD too, but I don't have the antisocial part. We are trauma bonded. Our relationship is very turbulent.
Hello Lise,
I had just finished all of Yellowstone and I couldn’t help to think about my ex (because of Beth’s personality). When the end came around I felt like maybe this is how it will be for me and she will come around one day. Everything and I mean Everything you mentioned was her to a T. I do Love and care and wonder about her everyday. I guess I haven’t let go. It’s tough. I’ve never encountered someone like this but this video is exactly what happened. Prayers of peace, love and happiness to anyone who has or is going through this. Also for those who do this. Stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
Thank you Lise
You are not alone!
Stay strong! You deserve better! I’m with a male BPD and the description fits him to a T. I have to call to police whenever he kicks off. I feel sorry for male victims because society sometimes fails to support male victims. I’m going through the divorce and he’s as disruptive as can be. Sam Vaknin does videos on BPD too.
I grew up in a narc family system with a narc parent where i was teh scapegoat. Drinking was a way i coped after getting sober i found support groups for trauma where i got believed and validated for the first time from atleast one safe enough person, it was modeled to me to practice gentleness on myself and healthy boundaries. Gentleness in the regard of selftalk ofcourse, healthy boundaries to protect my inner child and my self from low blows or shitty abusive behaviour , my inner child emerged as i stod by him and protected him and followed through with my boundaries. Being the child of a narc family system definetly conditions an empath to tolerate the family's abuse. Thank God , for finding safe enough places to be believed aand be validated enough so that i could begin doing it for myself with the gentlness and the healthy boundaries iand integrity to my inner child. Now im 3 years and a half in my own healing journey from cptsd / coming from a narc family system, these narc people exist in the world, im commited to taking my space in the world and shining anyway, unapologetically and staying true to me. In the narc family system it was all about the narcisisitc parents insecurity they needed to be the center of attention ,and couldn't even give attention or love to thier own kids, thankfully i had another parent who was capeable of empathy. Today ive learnt and pracitced with thehelp of my recovery and safe enough people to be my own loving parent and give selfcompasion boundaries , integrity to my inner child and attention to my inner children getting my needs met with healthy people. God helps us empaths who want to heal from cptsd and stand in our truth , shine. and stay true to ourselves. For me its easy to see a narc person now as their energy and the way they attach comes strong, and specially if i have a need for a boundary thay rarely can they acknowledhgement try blameshifting thats my cue to stay in my truth speak it and then disenage from them. We keep healing with gentleness humor love and respect selfcompassion healthy boundaries integrity to my inner children safe eenough people in the journey to connect to , this education is helpfu to pick up on those narc energies, have healthy boundaries , and then disengage. Im the loving parent to my inner child who loves honors protects soothes and attunes to him and find safe conneciton for him. Those narcs have little to give other than try being abusive, better to find others capeable of empathy where we will feel seen heard and where connection is workeable and authentic. God speed were healing were worth it. As we stay in our truth and true to our inner children we keep healing, with attunement and gentlenes humor love respect and healthy boundaries and safe enough connection we keep healing growing and getting actual fufilment our of our relationships..
Great work! You've nailed it, and described my nex's behavior to a T.
For those who are stuck in a relationship with these disordered people, my heart goes out to you.
I left, and life has never been better.
I think you might have just nailed my ex-wife. 10:27 often she will get mad at you for not matching her expectations of how you should treat her, interpreting them as signs of your disinterest in her, hence perhaps your intention to just use her for a while and then abandon her. She's projecting that fear of abandonment in hyper-critical rants.
dont you all have a blog for men who suffered through these relationships
This was my ex-partner. He could be very kind, but the destructive and violent BPD rages are next level. I don't think he was ever a bad person. He had bad and destructive behaviours, but I think he struggled to actually differentiate poor behaviours vs being a bad person and therefore just accepted that. The substance abuse definitely made things alot worse, but I also understand that this was a coping mechanism to numb from perceived deficits, trauma and provided a source of false confidence. I honestly hope he is doing better. It's very difficult to find good therapists who have the time, patience and experience to help with BPD and substance use disorders when you don't have the finances to do so. We ended up going to AA a few times, but I'm not sure if he continued? I just listened to Al-Anon things online as I was always working when they were on in our area to help myself from trying to "fix" things which is a control issue in itself.
It was a relief when I eventually decided to leave, but then I also feel guilt because I know abandonment is a core trigger into self destructiveness. I don't regret leaving though. It's been very freeing to be able to have peace to grow and develop. I just hope that BPD sufferers can have the same compassion for themselves that they are worthy and can exist alone as an individual and don't need validation from others.
Men with BPD often times don't, I really appreciate this humanizing comment coming from an ex, as comments have states women don't take this good at all, emotional needs = ick for men. Hope has been received 😂
And many of these types will purposely pursue married men, attempt to manipulate men that they deem "able to give them things." I have been documenting many of these cluster b disordered women for several years now. They have no scruples and are protected by a group of apologist women who don't hold these destructive women accountable for their actions.
Why pursue married men and push to divorce their wife but keep coming back and punishing over n over. They see the marriage stability and want it? And the guy looks unhappy easy target? I thought I found someone with chemistry I never had n lied never admitted any other guys. Called police making up stuff. Nightmare
I am astonished that you have completely described my only living sibling. It's just to the tee with every point you made. Thank you for posting this so I could understand more of what is going on with my relationship with her.
Thank you for making this- hopefully someone will save themselves living through this nightmare.
Run. Run fast
My son's wife. She has torn our family apart and she never stops. I miss my son so much.
I knew two girls in college that got diagnosed with BPD while we were close friends.
Both of their boyfriends were toxic af.
They both ended those relationships and miraculously…don’t exhibit BPD any more…
Yes. This.
RUN
But it's nearly impossible!
We need a new book and therapy on how to escape. It took me 24 years to partially recover from an 18yr relationship with a severe bpd.
Not one counselor or even psychiatrist helped me exit. They even medicated me with anti depressants for years to just mask the need to escape.
How about making some videos on the "great bpd escape"
Excellent message. Lived this nightmare. Man oh man, you hit the highlights. A tour stop of my ex.
How? HOW could you so accurately and completely describe this? Wild!
Many many people out there with this condition and no treatment. It’s awful especially when you have to work with people like that.
Amazing work as usual. My Ex dumped me because I called her rude. I've studied the shizznit out of BPD and narcissm. I remember that I went round to hers to put some flowers on her car. When she found out she went mental. I now think it's because of her multiple sources of validation. I'm not 100% certain but think she had more than 1 partner/ source. It's the little things that bother me. Even after she's caused me to have a seizure. ❤️
I'm sorry you had to go through this experience, but I hope it strengthened you
@@LiseLeblanc thanks Lise. You're amazing. Need to mortificate her.
That’s odd about the seizure. I had one too after she realized she could no longer control me. I suspected a drug of some sort….
@@forrestgossett what do you mean by drug?
@@mrsimo7144 Are there not certain drugs that could cause seizures in otherwise healthy individuals?
Yep, when you interact intimately with one of these people it just gives you a deep disappointment in humanity.
I hope this doesn’t scare people away from people have these illnesses because not everyone is this bad. Some are self-aware and try to do better. ❤️
Personally I don't think it will, especially if the person acknowledges they have a problem. If they don't there history.
I must admit the volatility scared me a bit from the guy I was dating, even tho I always knew he was well intentioned. And before I worked out the traits leading me to borderline he vanished. Now that I know, I understand much better and would love to be a friend, but he blocked me. I wish him and everyone well 💕
All it took was dating a borderline and now I’ll
Never ever date again. She was intoxicating and wicked to the core. She got deep into my mind and heart and ripped out chunks of me. I’ll never fully recover. Never fully trust another woman. BPD or not, it’s not even worth the risk of them even possibly having BPD. If I were to get into another relationship with one I think I’d end up killing myself. Not joking.
@@BrianPremo Damn. I am sorry you went through that and feel that way. I hope you heal and move past this woman and what she did to you. ❤️
You have described my older sister. I felt so much confusing growing up, trying to please her. But we all know that’s impossible as they like to change the rules of the game to continue manipulating. As adults we have been no contact a few times. Currently it’s been about 5 years. I don’t know if k could ever be on a room with her again.
My older sisters as well. Keep yourself safe. Mine are extremely violent and I'm not ignoring it/justifying/enabling it anymore
Thank you. You just perfectly nailed my 30 year relationship with my soon to be ex wife
I have seen this regression to a VERY child like state before. It was bizarre on a level I knew was an outlier…. My mother is a concurrent with (aspd) I knew she was awful and rare. In her case she was a former child abuse investigator and KNEW exactly what she was doing and was doing it intentionally for her own financial reasons. Thank you so much for this. I saw her eyes change and the demon come out in her when she’d be dialing up the verbal venom getting high on me nearing suicide. Screaming at me to end my life. I knew that was rare and a line that most narc moms don’t cross. Thanks so much for this. It’s exactly what you described (well as much as a concurrent combo can be).
Im no victim or looking for sympathy btw. My story wouldn’t be any fun to read if there isn’t a mega villain anyway right? Thank you Lise, a lot…
That’s awful Colin. I’m glad you are aware of this evil and know that you are not the crazy one. My mum was a teacher and expected me to be her mum , so I can easily relate to your story. She use to remind me that I don’t have love for myself and many times asked me to leave her alone, go away from her life. I’m currently no contact with my parents and siblings and life is getting better. Wishing you healing on this journey you are on.
First time I see someone mention the eyes. Never sensed so much pure hate when that happened first time. There was the demon. I dated a BPD and dare I say a malignant one. Hope you are well Colin.
I swear it's in the eyes! When my bpd mom would get angry, she looked like a completely different person. Her eyes got brighter green and intensely shiny, the power of her rage was physically visible and incredibly scary. I'll never forget her looking me dead in my eyes with her fist up saying "i'll fucking slug you right here" my mom doesn't even talk like that, she was talking to me like we were in a bar fight, meanwhile i was a 15 year old girl who had no idea what was going on. Watching my mom turn into a stranger was really traumatic because even when she comes back into form, i don't know who she really is. She could go from acting like a little lost child to an angry biker in the span of a few seconds, that level of emotional whiplash is soo confusing and exhausting. We barely talk now that i'm an adult, and she is dedicated to blaming me for the reason we are not close. The final assault.
"I knew she was awful and rare" - I'm sorry, but that made me laugh out loud. Maybe it's just the nonchalant manner in which you wrote that, or because I feel like I can relate. Much love to you.
@@jessica0321 Thanks Jessica
I have met this devil. She was absolutely this, 100%, no questions asked, no money back guarantee. You nailed it, lady.
Great video Lise! I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with this woman for years now- I think you solved the case.
Join the club, I think this will have a very grateful bunch of guys brother 🤙
I used to have relation with such sort of woman. They are getting worse with ages. Severe rally. Several years after was studying cluster B. Now can say it is malignant bpd. Every day she sees when I am in social network. I know it. I am still her favorite person. No contacts with her. I was deeply ruined and lost a lot of money. No remorse. No apologies. Evil. Pure evil. Do not ever think that your case will be better one. RUN. RUN. RUN.
Sounds very much like my adult child. Thank you Lise for this video.
This is my daughter.
She is vicious.
She has verbally and demeaned me her whole life. Unless she wanted money. I gave and gave each time she would love me. It didn't work.
Her husband has recently divorced her after 15 years of what he had endured physical and mental abuse but kept quiet because he was ashamed of being a male being abused.
They have two sons 7 and 4. And I thank God for him and his parents as there is already signs of trauma in the boys. My precious grandsons don't want to go to her house they want to stay with daddy or grandma and grandpa.
They have 50/50 custody
They say her house is a nightmare house.
Unfortunately I don't have much access to my grandsons as I have Parkinson's but thankfully my son in law and his parents include me as much as they can.
People with BPD are generally created by abusive absentee parents.. narcissists that won't take responsibility for the pain that caused in the child's life. Your daughter likely rightly believes you deserve every bit of pain you feel now.
A local therapist would never ever go there with this level of information.
You were right, Lise. I was convinced she was quiet subtype because she was relatively meek before she went nuclear. But this described everything I've experienced.
Thank you for bringing this to light.
I cant believe as a subscriber for over a yr that im just getting this.
ive actually allowed the FIRST Red Flag of the DSM /triad half dozen that are absolute NO NO's (the allowed "apologize/Hoover/love bomb/etc ...) only for it to be the ammunition to (once AGAIN) door going from cracked open to HER driving a tank through the house.
Hard to believe i missed this video being subbed this long. SPOT ON!
Thank You For Another Awesome Diagnosis Depiction
Everything… Literally everything you’ve said has happened. Unbelievable! Possibly, all of us, wonder how we got here.
Living in a bad nightmare.
same happened to me. try to stay strong
Bless you for putting this out there and educating the masses.
Could you imagine suspecting a parent with this? I can tell stories. Many of them. Reason why undiagnosed is the parent denigrates psychology and psychiatry, even to bully me off antidepressants and uses blackmail to do it.
In our culture the narrative is focused on abusive men almost exclusively and yet the malignant borderline is almost always a woman. They are abusive to their children who suffer life-long emotional damage. No one asks what they do to their sons and daughters, but particularly their sons. I am nearly 73 years old, female, and I've spent a lifetime trying to get over having a malignant borderline mother. As hard as it was for my sister and I I'm so glad that we didn't have a brother because it would have been even worse for him.
I think it's 50:50 now on borderline, and women are just as likely to be narcissistic anymore. Especially, in the last 25-30 years, or so, as well. Here,in the States. 🇺🇲
It's a growing Worldwide phenomenon, also. RE: Narcs.
Well, studies show that men can also be bpd and the studies are skewed disproportionately towards women.
All your videos are so professional and knowledgeable and compassionate. Thank you. This one is also chilling. I am afraid I have a “type” and may be choosing progressively worse people instead of better. Thank you for helping me to see red flags. Interestingly my mom has BPD traits and my dad ASPD traits, while both have narcissistic ones. Humbling to see all this. And scary.
WRONG. This is incredibly unprofessional, misleading and it only serves to get people who are in struggling or abusive relationships to have a scapegoat. It's called "making up a diagnosis that doesn't exist" and it's disgusting.
I've had a boyfriend with BPD and bipolar disorder, it was a nightmare that ended with me trying to get away from the abuse and him hanging himself as a revenge act. It was 15 years ago now but I still feel such shame and remorse. I know its not my fault but the fact remains, if I hadn't given up on him, he would not have died
Ist time in my life, I found my Great Wall Boundary. There's a longtime past love that
came into the picture. The prior abuse was so great, I blocked her. She may be on the cusp of
death, but I resolved to accept it without guilt. I remind myself, I'm not going to live forever and doubt she'd even make an effort to go out of her way to see me off. I don't deserve the guilt ...period.
Had a friend who used heroin back i nthe 90's and he quit bc he was in love with me and thought we had a future but I had no idea and had no interest in him anyway so I had when he was in rehab been with another guy and when he found out he went and used heroin, taking the same dose as when he used so he died on the toilet of a train with a needle in his arm, 27 years old leaving a small infant behind he had with an ex.
I've felt guilty aswell bc I knew it was because of me but in the end it was HIS descision and that cannot be laied on me or you unless we've told them to do it or manipulated them which we havent. So you're free from your guilt, Miss. You're free.
I think he would have died anyway, just on someone else’s watch.
So many men in marriages with kids are literally imprisoned within their household. They want to leave but know the courts are on the woman’s side. And with the combination of the two would and does ruin men. Too many women are able to act like this and be two faced and fool a good deal of the world.
Me😢
Each one of these videos I watch it becomes more and more apparent that I was not the issue. My self esteem is gone. I truly went into this relationship knowing that she had a difficult life. Part of me wanted to be different. However it was not until we moved in that I understood why she didn’t work out with anyone else. Although I got ruined in a lot of ways I’m grateful to be thriving now and not dead.