Honestly this video hit home for me so hard but when it comes to success and following my dreams. I am so afraid of my own abilities and my own vast potential for success because I know it could leave me isolated. I feel alone, and I don’t want to be alone forever, so I sabotage my own abilities that I know will lead to envy because I want to be loved. I’m afraid to be as talented as I am. I like this lady, even if her video was about being skinny, for everyone they have their core values and the self sabotage and fear of being beautiful is real. She’s wise.
Just eat natural foods that nourish your body and don't leave you craving crap. Do you see any fat animals in the wild? No. Slim and fit is our natural state.
This showed up in my feed 11 years later. I just did the journal prompt and had to come back and comment. I realized that I am afraid if I allow myself to be skinny I will no longer fit in with my boring, stressful, unhappy life. So if I allow myself to be skinny I will have to go out and live the life of my dreams. That would require so much bravery. I am afraid if I could not find the bravery within myself, I would be even more unhappy.
Here to tell you you're still allowed to be stressed out and unhappy when you improve your looks by weightloss, which might give a little comfort. Not a very encouraging comment perhaps but what I basically mean to say is, allow yourself to take one step at a time. These things aren't as attached to eachother as you make them out to be, it's just whatever you improve about yourself makes it's a little easier to deal with other areas in your life that need improvement. Gaining weight might have been a disfunctional coping mechanism, connected with your belief system at the moment, but not getting your whole life together at once doesn't make you a failure.
Congratulations bc youre being very honest with yourself!! Not a lot of people have the courage to admit to this. Its not only being skinny or whatever of course, but any “good” thing that we have an excuse for not doing. Nothing wrong with being fat but i feel like most people dont truly want to be, they just find excuses bc its scary to change…
Reminds me of part of a poem. "There is a lion in my living room. I feed it raw meat so it does not hurt me. It is a strange thing to nourish what could kill you in hopes that it does not kill you." Also, "Feel it. The thing you dont want to feel. Feel it. And be free."
Mom comment really got me. Everytime I try to better myself my mom starts competing. Makes me not want to try because I don’t want to be apart of her competition. But this is about me not her. Will give myself permission to be better
I so hear you...it is truly about allowing yourself to be all of who you desire to be. Others may get activated when they see us living our truth, but holding our truth back doesn't support them either. Sending you love
Your comment made me feel like I am not alone in this 💞 I struggle with a narcissistic mom too. I’ve stayed small in so many ways because I don’t like triggering her and having her challenge me and tear me apart. But it’s time to step into my own and be the woman I want to be, my mom and her little narcissistic games be damned!
11 year old video, I’m not a woman wanting to get skinny and I watched the whole video anyways. Now I’m writing in my journal about setting goals about who I want to become.
this is so amazing. i will journal about "can i let myself be happy?" because i think thats a beautiful journaling prompt. i dunno if im ready to do the skinny prompt, guess im afraid of that one
@@SaphiraLeander you can. Realize, think and feel what it would be like to be skinny. “I got to buy all these new pants because my old ones don’t fit” How would your lifestyle change? Maybe you would go for a walk, run or workout each day? How would your nutrition change? Making healthy meals, having quality food. Realize that right now you are a healthy person, you are skinny, and your decisions you make going forward will follow that change of mentality.
I watched this about a month or two ago, then I started journaling why I’ve been on the bigger side throughout my teen and adult life, since then I’ve lost probably 10-15 pounds, it keeps dropping too. I am a firm believer that weight is tied to trauma, working through it in a healthy way can definitely get those pounds down.
@@urlmel I think what this is about is that journaling about the topic creates a healthier relationship with food and therefore people will "magically" drop the weight.
@@urlmelYou sound like someone who has never journaled. It is therapeutic, you allow yourself to really connect with your inner self and you start being more conscious about a lot of stuff
If I let myself be skinny I would be more involved in my community and friendships. I would interact with everyone and say YES to every invite out. I would get dressed with ease. I would enjoy getting ready. I would not be fearful of being seen. I would actually enjoy compliments and believe them. I would feel accomplished. I could move on to other things in my life.
This right here is so true ! When my face was slim I wouldn’t hesitate to go out now it’s gotten so bad that I don’t even want to leave the house to go to the store down the block :(
What you're saying sounds ridiculous at first, but for the people who also think like me, this makes total sense. I've been obese my whole life. I've never been enormous, but large enough that I've never been the smaller girl in my group of friends. In my up-bringing, that was just the life style that I've learned. I'm actually trying to get some weight off so I can feel great on my wedding day and it's been so difficult. I know exactly what to do. It's been working, but I get complacent and I just can't seem to understand why. Some weeks ago, it occurred to me that I'm actually scared to be skinny and full of energy. That sounds so stupid when I type it out. I'm serious, though. Being more beautiful, fit and energetic actually scares me because it's means permanent life changes, unknowns and how much more attention am I going to get? I don't like attention because of the lifetime of insecurity. Weight loss is a real struggle on plains that I hadn't ever considered before until I started really trying. I know that I can't be alone in this.
this is exactly how I feel today, I just turned 18, I am my no means fat but I would love to be thin, and beautiful but I'm somehow scared women will be mad at me for being thin, I am never mad at other women for being beautiful or thin because I realize that it takes a lot of intention and work, but for me I feel like I'm betraying some of bigger friends and I don't want them to be jealous of me, I don't want men to hit on me, but I still want attention and to know I'm desirable, I feel like I'm going crazy its a daily struggle of deciding if I want to be thin or stay the same and satisfy my family and friends.
I so hear you...and I recorded this so long ago. I might use different words today, but the essence is the same. Allowing ourselves to experience and express ALL of who we desire to be. I hope you had a stunning wedding day!
@@ElegantFemmehi What are Frenchy and Indy? Where do these terms come from? Or where are they used? I have never heard them before. They sound like psychology terms?
I realized recently that I self sabotage my weight loss because I am afraid of male attention. I know a lot of men are still attracted to me at a bigger size, but if I were skinny, I'd get 10x more attention. I don't like them approaching me or even looking at me for too long. I want to go about my life without being perceived, which is kind of impossible. I realize that being overweight doesn't just make me invisible to the men who are not attracted to me, it also makes me hide more. I assume I'd probably still cover up a lot even if I were skinny but I'd be less self conscious about going out and just living my life, but at the same time I'd be scared to receive too much male attention. I was an early bloomer and I had a curvy body as a teenager and none of the guys at my school were interested in dating me, they dated all the skinny girls who had mostly flat chests but they asked to see me naked or want to have sex or want me to take nude pictures. But they never publicly pursued me in any way. I also got a lot of attention from older men as a teen. I think this made me sabotage my own body and gain a lot of weight over time. I'm in my mid 20's now and I'm mostly just tired of being exhausted and not feeling good, not being able to wear the clothes I like, my back hurts, etc... I just want to be healthy and live my life and not have people assume things about me bc of my appearance. I think I'm just afraid of what comes with being a woman, I feel really unsafe in the world, objectified and always observed. Being overweight in a way is protection and also somewhat a form of rebellion but it's also something I'm deeply ashamed of.
17 yo and I completely agree with you, I’d say my way of feeling about myself is kind of different but about the subject of male gaze I agree with you at a 100%, I feel like having lived as an obese person really makes you see the bad side of some people, you don’t value them much so they won’t be afraid to mistreat you or to not give you so much attention, I really think it has helped me to be stronger in a way, to just understand that people will never really like me as they’re too stupid to understand that I have worth even as a person suffering from obesity, and in the same way, it made me disguised by most mens, the fact of objectifying women so much and litteraly disrespecting them when they don’t correspond to their beauty criterias just makes it impossible for me to actually believe that they are on the same level of intelligence and maturity as me, I don’t regret because overweight even tho it has caused me a lot of physical and psychological pain, I just feel so much detached from people now, and I can’t even imagine having a deep connection with someone who may disrespect me or being ashamed of me if I would simply have more fat in my body, and in general not pleasing their eyes. Before starting my weight loss I actually was actively looking for a man who would love me and be proud of me with and without my fat, and I can tell you, even though I’m younger than you, that even though you may be more ugly, undisciplined, more poor etc… when you’re fat, people still DONT have the right to disrespect you, being fat doesn’t mean belonging into a category of people with lower worth, we’re just normal people, with different bodies, we shouldn’t be ashamed or regret our habits choices, even our mistakes that made us fat, we need to be proud in order to evolve , because God Nevers makes mistake in our destiny, if we experienced a situation, we were meant to learn something from it !
We’re not just fat, we are people, we are souls, we were not supposed to be products of beauty , we shouldn’t fall into that societal thought of objectifying our bodies just like it has objectified our lives in order to create them abundance
Five years ago I started therapy at my highest weight (109kg), I didn’t know why I couldn’t lose weight. Until after a lot of therapy sessions I found out that, one of the reasons I didn’t allowed myself to lose weight, was that if I did so, I was going to feel attractive enough to be in a relationship, and that scared me so so so much. It was true! I worked on it, I lost the weight, and found a loving partner
“what would it be like if you let yourself be skinny?” if i let myself be skinny I would be my most authentic self, I wouldn’t have to worry constantly about if I’m being perceived as fat all the time, I wouldn’t feel inferior anymore. Something that has been burdening me for my whole life would finally be taken care of. And I could go on with my life and accomplish whatever I wanted. I could achieve the life that’s waiting on me. All while being skinny and beautiful.
I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I’m sorry to let you know it does not work like that. My body dysmorphia only worsened when I became slim. I worry more than ever before about how I’m being perceived. I constantly fear doing something to mess it up and losing the body I work hard for. It has benefits, and I could never deny that fact. But your life will not miraculously become problem free! You just have different problems than before! 🫶🏼
After losing 120 lbs I sometimes have to remind myself that I’m allowed to do this. It’s as if I’m waiting for someone to tell me I’m doing something wrong. I know I’m not doing anything wrong at all but that voice of self doubt has been a huge player in my life. It’s hard to shut her up now.
I realized the reason I can't let myself be skinny is because I can't admit I want to be skinny. If I were to lose more weight on purpose it would show the world that I'm not happy enough as I am and I have a hard time being vulnerable like that.
I would invite you to do the journal exercise if you have not yet. What if it wasn’t about not being happy where you are, but desiring even more? And again it’s not that skinny makes anyone happy…it’s about trusting ourselves to live into whatever is uniquely calling us and not to self sabotage 🖤
I am now skinny, but it was not my main goal. I just wanted to look healthy and sweat more by doing regular home exercises. It wasn't easy, and it involved a lot of crying, but my body image has relatively improved and I can wear any clothes I want now. You can do it too. Believe in yourself!!
I allow myself to be skinny. I ve lost all my so called “ friends” who were always jealous, competitive and mean. Now am ready to step into my new era and be my best version, best friend, cheerleader 📣 and fan. ❤
Wow this popped into my feed and honestly you're a genius. I'm someone who has almost everything going on perfectly in my life and I just realized that I keep myself a bit on the heavier side because I'm afraid of being too perfect. It's like I self sabotage. Thank you so much for this. From now on I allow myself to be skinny and I allow myself to be perfect.
I'm not perfect, but everybody thinks I am (don't know why), the envy, the passive agressive comments, etc is a lot for me. When I gained weight people seemed to enjoyed it, and behave as if I was more easy to get along, more approachable, but my behaviour was the same as when I was skinny. I'm now losing fat, looking slimmer and have the feeling of being more vulnerable because I'm feeling lighter, smaller and found out that I gained the fat I lost because I was scary to feel vulnerable. I am now developing skills to feel I'm safe in a smaller and lighter body.
Same. Most of my family members are overweight and I only post my body pics on my close friends story so they don't feel bad because that's how I used to and sometimes still feel... From now on, I'll allow myself to be skinny, healthy, toned, sexy, and confident!
I’m allowing myself to be skinny because after all I deserve to be skinny. I deserve to feel pretty and lovely and healthy so why keep depriving myself from it? I deserve to feel happier in my body, and from today I let myself be skinny
This has helped me realize myself. I don’t allow myself to be pretty and purposefully uglify myself in order to protect myself and not get attention. It’s due to childhood trauma. I don’t allow myself, because I am afraid of what will happen when I lose weight and regain my pretty self.
I hear you. You may feel called to join us inside of Chic365 if you have ever been called to move through A Course in Miracles. It’s ONE of the ways to remember that we are safe no matter what. 🖤
I am completely shocked. I watched this video a couple weeks back and without even thinking about it I slimmed down. I just realized I was scared to let myself stay skinny because i didn’t like when people called me scrawny and i didn’t like how i would lose fat in places that made me not fit the beauty standard. But i also don’t like how i would yo-yo and eat junk food whenever i got thin. I’m so pleased with the positivity of this video and how powerful the message is. It simply made me aware of my fears and how they drive me to sabotage my health and as a result I am not afraid to be healthy anymore.
Wowowowo! I’m so happy for you!!!! I’m sending you so much love and cheering you on. You are such a powerful woman, continue to approach life with all of this self love. Xoxoxox thank you for sharing this with me!
Ok UA-cam, what the actual F ? HOW did UA-cam know I needed this right now ? After yet another day feeling "cute but yet so fat", I've decided this morning that this needs to stop. So thank you for this ❤️
Yep! I have been skinny all of my life, 105 pounds naturally. I started to feel shameful about my weight because of the media...I gained 20 pounds last year by taking a ton protein powder and forcing myself to eat when I wasn't hungry... Whenever I lost weight i'd get anxiety. Like how is that healthy? Learn to love yourself wherever you're at. Eat with love, not with fear. Forget what others think.
hi girl, how tall are you?I am also 105 pounds but still I feel so fat like a baby elephant after eating a little more and sometimes when im stuck somewhere ,cannot eat and extremely hungry then I feel like im weak and thin.I don't know what sort of mental disorder is this..I keep my eyes on calories a lot which is not very beautiful.
@@POTPOURRI.1 Hey girl! I am 5'4. It sounds like you might need to do some shadow work, love! is it a self-image issue? If it is, I would look at ways you can heal your self-image and start loving yourself for exactly the way you look NO MATTER WHAT. We've ALL been conditioned to think we are not beautiful exactly the way we are!! You can try somatic healing practices: Eat when you're hungry and stop eating when you are no longer hungry... Have a conversation with your body.. ask what it needs and give it that! Remember, you are not your mind or thoughts. Any beliefs you;ve been conditioned to have can be deconditioned but it starts with you and self-love. We need to train the mind that we want to be HEALTHY, not bigger, or smaller. Being skinny doesn't mean being weak and eating a little more doesn't mean we're fat.... these are false beliefs. I hope that helps🧡
I’m 5’4” like you, weighing around 90 pounds soaking wet and I have had a similar experience. With so many overweight people projecting onto me, I started trying to force myself to eat more, follow stricter workout regimens and wear larger clothing to hide my body. Then I had to consider the source. These ppl hate themselves. Why would I take their own lack of self love personally? I am working on loving my natural slimness and being grateful for the beautiful life it affords me. 💕 Of course, this can be taken to extremes, but my doctors have never had a concern for my body. This is simply how God made me. 😊
Wow, thank you so much for this. It took a few pages of journaling to change the story from, "my body is scared" to "my body is sacred." Blessings to you! 💖
i feel like this video popped up 11 years later for a reason. it’s everything i needed to hear right now. i think starting the process of allowing myself to have my dream body and looks is scary; there’s so much that goes into becoming that person i dream of. it doesn’t only include eating better and working out, but its a whole lifestyle change. i’ve always been a procrastinater, and i think because of that ive had a hard time starting that journey.
you are a genious. i felt like talking to a therapist while watching this. i’ve lost 10 kgs. in this process, i have to face people who tell me that my overweight state was more beautiful and tell me to quit dieting over and over and honestly i get really fed up and want to eat like crap after hearing them. i was actually experiencing what you said before losing weight, i wish i had seen this video from the beginning. i allow myself to be skinny. i have 7 more kgs to lose, and i won't let anyone make me give up and i won’t be affected by what they say, because i allowed myself to be in the way that i want.
You are awesome, and you will get there❤. Take the power back, do not give in to those who say "you looked better when you were plump". Let them say whatever they want, keep going with your routine, keep improving
If I allowed myself to be skinny then I would have so much less to worry about. How I see myself if something that is in my head every second of every day. Feeling pretty would change how I feel about so much.
It’s Amazing how much Time and energy we can consume with thoughts of not being enough. Sending you love as you allow yourself to come into deeper awareness of your power.
I almost had it this month. I had almost amazing abs and everything... then I felt strange or almost empty. I had no more self hatred and I was actually content with who I was.. and that scared me the most because all this time I had been living that way and I wondered if I even deserved to feel this way. I wondered what all my friends and family would think. I realized I never would have to worry about looking good in clothes again. My forever goal was gone, and I had to find a new one but at the end of the tunnel I didn’t know what I was even passionate about anymore. All of my energy and decisions went to striving for that body. And when I almost had it, knowing my purpose would be gone, I caved and went back into old habits again. It’s not too late! I give myself permission to be skinny because I deserve to be happy too and I deserve to be free from my past self
I was skinny all my life until I realized later on in my forties that it is completely healthy to have extra fat on your body as a woman. As someone who was a fashion model for all my teenage years into my early twenties, let me tell you that being skinny does not mean being happy. This is an illusion. Everybody has a different body type. Please don't think that skinny means pretty. Please don't equate skinny with happiness. Be healthy. Feel good in your body. How you feel in your body, being STRONG and having muscles and a healthy amount of fat is ideal. When I was skinny, my female friends wanted my body - but after years of being skinny, now that I am not skinny anymore, I am less anxious, I sleep better, and feel better. Our nerves need fat. Fat is good for the body and the mind. I absolutely hate this notion that skinny women are pretty. We can be pretty and feel beautiful with any body type. We have to accept different body types, and accept ourselves as we are - live a healthy LIFESTYLE.
I literally cannot believe I manifested you into my life. Although my 1st time on your page I was pondering why I kept sabotaging my wt loss efforts every time I’d start seeing results. It’s insane but now I realize I need to grant myself permission. I love this very simple concept and applying now! Thank you so much!
There’s something comforting about these older style self improvement videos. Feels like one of those daytime network shows from the late 00s and early 2010s that also have a blog
2024 now, and this is the most refreshing thing I’ve seen in years. It’s like stepping back into reality where “woke” didn’t exist, and people were normal.
In college I started getting skinny and my sis who had always been skinny was like "You're competing with me." It was unfair because I had always wanted this, it had nothing to do with her.
What it really seems is SHE was competing with you. She was projecting and blaming you for something she was actually doing. She was used to being the skinny sister and by you improving your body that meant more competition for her! Allow yourself to be skinny and let your sister stay triggered. Live your best life! ❤
A few months ago I noticed some weight loss.. so I began to see that everywhere on my body. My stomach was smaller. I EXPECTED to see the scale go down. The scale started to drop. I did nothing different. Mindset, mindset mindset.
I'd be able to have the closet that I know I could just reach in without any thought and whatever I grabbed would look beautiful on me. No more planning outfits ahead of time to make sure I don't look too fat. No more feeling disgusted at how I feel when I try on a beautiful dress that would look soooo perfect "if I could just be a little skinnier"
when im at my lowest weight, i get attention from everyone, the wrong or the right kind. my eating habits and body will be scrutinized. men who had bad intentions would pursue me. I've learned since and have better boundaries, plus now my style is more modest. i will be skinny so i feel comfortable in my own skin again and can focus on my goals instead of worrying bout calories, the next meals, outfits not being flattering, etc
I'd be a lot happier. I'd look forward to getting dressed. I would be able to focus on other parts of my life--how I live. I would probably be less ashamed and have more confidence.
I’m sorry but can I just say we should perhaps question why we have the desire to be skinny in the first place? Why should you want to look a certain way, why does it matter at all. Because societal structures (i.e. patriarchy) tie women’s worth to their physical traits as they have historically seen as first and foremost mothers to bear babies. Now, 2024, do we really still need to direct so much of our energy to how we look, and still feed into that desire of appealing to somebody else, finally getting a perfect body to show off? Aren’t there more interesting things to work on?
You are so right. I’m glad that someone agrees with me in this comment section because everyone seems to support this without questioning. It’s like if everyone’s a brainless lamb in here. Also, this video can be really triggering to some people. Asking myself the question, why am I not allowing myself to be skinny is just equivalent to asking why did I eat today at all. And this video, the question makes me even more guilty about eating, pushing me even more into my ed. And I know that I’m not alone. This is so dangerous. Eating is not self sabotaging, we literally need to eat to STAY ALIVE for god’s sake. I’m so tired of being a part of this system where I’m killing myself to fit in this stupid standard.
the deeper meaning of this video goes far beyond and nto allowing ourselves to express all of who we are without upper limiting. I created this 11 years ago;) and would not name it the same today...but the message has helped a lot of women to let themselves embody what they desire. It is not about being skinny...as much as being whatever truly honors you. There is an updated podcast here podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-91-body-image-real-talk-the-love-the/id1611435615?i=1000652988869
This is for yourself. Would you say this to a woman if they wanted to become jacked and have great muscles and show them off? In a way you sound mysognistic harping on the fact that making it sound like the only reason a woman would want to look a certain way is for men. Gross.
I had stalled out when I got 10 lbs away from being out of obesity. I'm 40 lbs away from being a normal BMI. And it has to do a lot with accepting my own strength and mirroring back other people's insecurities. Ultimately, I'm not their keeper and their insecurity belongs only to them. I don't have to own it for them. And I don't have to stay fat. I just have to keep going a little farther, then I'll be out of obesity.
Wear BULKY CLOTHS -- sometimes -- and stand up straight and proud of yourself in a healthy kind way. Bulky CLOTHS givex you the advantage in many ways. I wish I had known this sooner. I can weigh what I want and live my best life. No one will say you're too skinny, or be jealous then.
I'd stop comparing myself to everyone else and I'd be closer to permit myself to reach my own goals. I'd feel beautiful, worthy and Id be less depressed.
Such an interesting concept! Times in life I've gotten more fit I always retreat back to my old ways because I feel I don't deserve to be at my fittest, healthiest and happiest. This video has certainly opened my eyes to what's really going on in my psyche. Thank you!!
I've always had this thought, so it's not difficult to answer: If I allowed myself to be skinny I'd feel as if I could truly embrace the world around me, fully live life, and experience the type of desires I've only ever been able to dream about. I'd dress the way I want to, go to the places I want to (and not feel like I don't belong), and talk to the people I want to. I'd finally feel like I was able to live and be. I wouldn't feel like I'm in constant distress with my current situation and self
I did the journaling and I realised for me it’s impatience!! Because I know that being skinny is a lifestyle and it takes time for it to be consistent, so I just give up trying.
For some reason this came on my timeline today in 2024… I did the journal activity and I actually shocked myself with something I wrote and I think I’ll share it here. “What if I let myself be skinny, I loose the weight and I’m treated better. Does that confirm that my value as a woman is tied to my physical appearance” I didn’t even know that was something I was scared of I didn’t realize that I was looking for external acceptance. 😅 I always told myself I don’t care what anyone thinks but apparently my subconscious still does! Atleast now I can face that reality and know my worth is not defined by others opinion. My life, my body, my goals.
Turns out it's not just being skinny. I can also use the journal format for other things. I am socially awkward and anxious. Can I give myself permission to be loud and cringe? Can I give myself permission to express myself? Yes, absolutely. Yes, I'm allowed to be sociable. I'm allowed to be pretty and dress up. I'm allowed to be skinny--and I'm allowed to ignore those who always tell me to gain more weight.
I feel me getting skinny would make people around me insecure. I want them to be comfortable around me . Also whenever I try to be skinny I'm said I'm trying to hard . I feel guilty.
found this on my fyp and thought id give it a go. im at a crossroads in my life right now with a lot of uncertainty and realize i keep drinking alcohol and binge eating every night after work instead of coping with my uncertainty in healthy ways because i feel like i cant focus on myself until all these other issues are resolved. so i drink, eat, and watch netflix to forget my problems, which ive realized is probably because id rather avoid my problems than face them head on. but also, some of them take time to figure out, new job, new university, new relationship that is long distance, so all of this uncertainty leaves me feeling paralyzed bec theres nothing i can do to fix it right now and i feel like once i get everything figured out, THEN and only then can i work on myself.
I hear you! And it’s such an easy cycle to slip into. I acknowledge your awareness and your intention. And also the power in recognizing that prioritizing yourself is the ONLY way anything can “work out” sending love 🖤
honestly I'm already skinny and when I saw this video on my feed it felt so strange and irrelevant, however, I realised that your advice isnt just for losing weight, I could also apply it for my studies. I've always wanted to be a top student, but everytime I feel like I have accomplished that I would sabotage myself. I will now follow your advice to journal. Thanks Tara.
I like the idea of giving ourselves permission to do something and not letting any self-concepts hold us back. We all just want to feel loved and happy. We don't need to look a certain way, have a certain amount of money, or even be liked by other people to feel happy and loving. We can just cut out the middleman and practice being happy and loved unconditionally - But I support any and every journey someone wants to take in pursuit of their joy and others. 💜 I hope everyone here finds the joy they are looking for in themselves and each other 💕
I hate people around me call me "skinny" when I am of substantial weight for my body type and bone density. A bunch of people call me skinny as in "under weight." I would like to be skinny as in "toned" or "muscular."
if i let myself be skinny, i would no longer have an excuse not to participate in my life. if i let myself be skinny, all these scary things ive been avoiding with my thick layer of protective blubber will just go right through me and i’ll have to deal with them, but i’ll be skinny. i’m going to get more attention. i’m going to put more effort into my appearance, and i am scared of effort. i am scared of trying and failing. but i’m done sabotaging myself. if i let myself be skinny, i will no longer be in the waiting room of my life, by not being skinny i am just prolonging the beginning of my life. it’s time to start. it’s time to rip off the bandaid. being fat has always been an excuse not to buy nice clothes, not to take care of myself, not to go out, not to try. no longer! its time to make an effort! its time to venture out into the wild pale yonder!
Omg! I’m crying reading your message. I so acknowledge you for feeling this, allowing this and surrendering to the love that you are. I’m cheering you on and celebrating you! GO LIVE! You are beautiful and worthy of it all!🖤
I can’t let myself be skinny because i don’t know if i can accept the love, attention, the “did you lose weight?”s, the texts, comments, gawks, glares, stares, you name it i’m so afraid. as a young woman , teenager. with a thin desire i’m conditioned to need something to complain about. I could let myself be skinny, but giving up candy and fast food would send me into a frenzy. like at the very beginning of “illicit bodies”, when our sisters from the 1800s totally destroyed their organs by the cinching of lace corsets. i just don’t want to end up like that, and destroy myself for society or a man. i want to reconstruct myself FOR myself, i’m just not ready to accept the attention and love yet 😕
And I also invite you to let go of the word diet and see if the idea of not depriving yourself. But making choices from a place of whines may serve you more completely. Only you know 🖤
1. The desire 2. Giving yourself permission ( allowing yourself to be) What to do? journaling 1- can i let myself be skinny? Sit down and really answer this , , question , spend 10-15 minute answering that question, all the reasons why you still not experience your desire ( to be skinny). You will get clarity and why you still didn’t give yourself permission to be skinny? 2- what would be like if you let yourself be skinny? And no longer have to be worried about this?
I’d feel like there’s nothing I can’t accomplish, because my head and heart is invested in achieving this one thing that felt so impossible for years, that finally being skinny meant I could accomplish and maintain anything I put my mind to.
This correlates so much with me Everytime I fix one of my hype fixated insecurities I stop doing whatever it took to get there and I slowly go back and complain about them again my Brian dosent allow me to consistently work on it,this video awoken something in me
Sometimes… someone violates our body so much fat because the armor and the insulation against the world. Sometimes the fat is an armor against the pain of life. Also, don’t need to deal with as much male attention or female competition.
This is really the way for all change. I did this in reverse recently "what would happen if I gave myself permission to stop tracking macros, even if I gained a little weight?" Now Im 4lbs up but maintaining a slim healthy figure without needing to track. I can focus on other thinfs besides my meals.
It's all about allowing ourselves to live into our truth, and I totally agree not obsessing is best. There is an updated podcast on this here podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-91-body-image-real-talk-the-love-the/id1611435615?i=1000652988869
I think genuinely one of the reasons I've not let myself be skinny is that I'm afraid I won't be loved for who I am- if I'm attractive, men will like me, but I want to meet a man who likes me for me, not my body.
Alright, let me tell you one thing. Forget the skinny part and replace it with whatever current goals you might have, I replaces skinny with studious. The advice is wonderful, just choose your "Skinny" and go for it.
Universe makes sense. I don’t feel the need to be skinnier, I just now realize that I don’t allow myself to live to my full potential. Seeing this today was exactly what I needed. The perfect day for me to see this. Like I said, Universe makes sense. Thank you for having never erased this vid. Even if I’m late to it, it found me:)
I just organized my closet last night and went through all my beautiful clothes i never wear because i tend to throw on yoga pants and a hoodie. . Funny,, last night i gave myself permission to wear them and feel beautiful. This message reinforced that idea. Like a sign to go ahead. Thanks ❤.
Love this so much! You might also really enjoy the Let Yourself Be Beautiful episode in this series. It is in the playlist. And congrats for gifting yourself this celebration in your life 🖤
What I understood from this is “allow yourself to be healthy” it is not about physical appearance anymore It is about having a healthy and a strong body
If i allow myself to be skinny and no longer worry about it, my life would be the same, but more peaceful. I would feel in alignment with myself because I would feel so proud, grateful, and accomplished. I would have achieve a personal goal of mine, and I would reliqunish in the feeling of gratitude towards myself for setting my self up for success once again. I would continue to love myself, just as I do now. Thus, I am now giving myself permission to be ‘skinny’
Divine timing thankyou god for sign✨🙏Recently I lost 8 kg weight and I m happy happy in this stage of my life.I started working out from 2020 and it’s been 4 years and I’m still working on my body.Though people say why do you wanna lose even more I think you’re perfect but that’s there opinion.People often start to tease me now you’re bone eat more just because they can’t follow the same routine they made for themselves and project their insecurities on me .Well I just don’t care cuz they didn’t care when I weighed more it was me who pushed myself every day to love my body and trust the process and why will I stop for these people??I have decided to keep working out even I m fat or skinny even if I will able to make my dream body to own body .These people will still tell you shitty things to bring u down .So , Always listen to yourself thoughts ❤️Whoever gets this comment we will be there ✨🥰
11 Years after this video was made and it popped up for me because I was searching for content on how to stop hating my body. I swear it's like the universe brought me here. I just finished the journal prompt and wow! It was definitely enlightening. Now, as for what it would be like if I let myself be skinny? Wow. I would actually live my life instead of obsessing about my size, I'd stop letting other people's expectations and opinions dictate how I live my life. Succinctly, I would be a much happier person! I am so glad I found this video!
I got skinny but still didn't feel good enough about my body. I started weightlifting but then learned i needed to eat more, specifically a lot of protein, to build muscle. So i gained some weight tracking my food and eating the right amount. Still waiting to see if i like my body better or if i just want to be skinny instead. Being thin is great but it doesn't automatically give a beautiful body.
I just realized I am not letting myself be skinny because growing up I’ve always been skinnier than my mom and coincidentally she would be _so_ mean to me. Now, the tables have turned, she’s the skinnier one and treats me better. So my inner little girl connected the dots - “Mom is happier when she’s skinny. So then she is nice to me and she likes me. I should stay fatter than Mom to make her happy and she will treat me better.”
I could hike and do climbing walls without feeling self conscious. I'm short and strong but people see my extra curves and assume I'm lazy and weak. I often surprise people with how strong and hard working I am and it's annoying. If I let myself be skinny I think people would believe in me more and maybe I could believe in me more too.
If I no longer had to be worried about being skinny because I finally achieved that goal, I suppose I would no longer worry about my clothing fitting me a certain way. I'd be happy my fits look similar to my pinterest boards.
If I was skinny it would release me from so much. I’ve always dealt with mental hunger or food obsession and if I could let go of that I can’t imagine all the different ways I could spend that mental energy.
This is a huge awareness. I went through something similar in recognizing how much energy was being out towards wanting to control or be perfect in some way. A beautiful question to ask yourself may be “if I allow myself to remove my energy from this obsession, what would my Soul want me to put my energy into?” You can journal and see what surfaces for you. 🖤
I allow myself to be pretty again and stop dressing down to make others around me feel comfortable, I allow all the attention and love from myself so I can truly be my best version of myself
I dieted from 185 down to 109 and was in the absolute best shape of my life, worked out two hours a day, lifting heavy weights and moderate cardio and restricted calories from 1200 down to 900 to get there. I looked beautiful…but my head was a MESS. I literally thought about calories in/calories out 24/7/365, if I didn’t like the taste of something I would spit it out because I couldn’t spare the calories for something less than good. I read the package on chewing gum and made sure to log the 5 calories if I didn’t have access to the 0 calorie kind. It consumed my life and I was neurotic. If my boyfriend didn’t want to do the deed I freaked out, hysterical crying because I felt like I wasn’t thin enough or something. I made myself crazy. Kept at it for about 4 years and have since slowly gained it all back. And I don’t like it, but I’m so much happier and calmer in my self and my daily life.
Well, I am 16. Just an average "Ordinary" girl. I never really cared so much for my appearance and looks until I hit my teens. I used to be a bookworm back then. Always busy in studying. No time for my self-care. I was insecure and overweight. I used to overeat to overcome my stress. My classmates bullied me for being the "Ugly" one. I got into depression and suicidal. I still remember crying alone in my room, thinking why I am like this? Why I look like this? I can't see my face and body in mirror. I started to hate and compare with jealousy from other better looking women. Being a brownie, I was always jealous with fair and skinny girls. My height is only 5ft2. I considered myself short. Now, this video pop out. I realized that "being skinny" is like a "healthy privilege" to me. I have to digest the truth. Skinny is better than my current body type. I am NOT body shaming anyone but putting my mere raw opinions without any sugar coating fillers. I took a challenge to lose at least 5 kg and start a daily exercise + diet routine. Hope, God bless me. Keep going my girls! ❤❤❤
You can’t imagine how much this has helped me. I’ve struggled stepping into adulthood and my self image. I’m scared to step into my womanhood because subconsciously I feel others will compete with me and I can’t stand at their level.
I so hear you and this is such a vulnerable thing for us to admit. We play small for this exact reason. Inside of Elegant Femme women share with me all the time that they went from feeling like a little girl to a woman. It may be so helpful for you to start with The Femme Design Assessment and activate your FemmeTypes so you can begin to trust your power. Www.ElegantFemme.com/FDA Xoxo
for my preteen years i always wanted to be beautiful and popular. I was chubby and insecure. For some time I was bitter at the fact that I had so much trouble feeling confident and getting male attention. But then around 15-16 I realized something. Confidence isn't a "on off" switch. You might have to do things to make yourself more confident. I have lost weight and now at 16 I am much skinnier than I used to be, I have better posture, dress and style myself better, and take care of myself. Some may see it as "giving in to beauty standards" I see it as "making myself happier and healthier" and I feel better about myself. My life doesn't have to be a political statement on not fitting beauty standards. If I feel better as a thin person, great! I'll be skinny and take care of myself.
Wow! At 16 such an evolved and aware response. And as we know from the video it’s not just about being « Skinny » it’s really about Loving ourselves to experience what we desire without the fear that someone else won’t like it. Sending you so much love and acknowledgment 🖤
This is so foriegn to me. I've had fear of being fat but never "afraid" to be skinny. I never wanted to be skinny but I do want a fit, healthy slender body. So I focused on health and have never had to worry about it. Unless I deviate from my own norm. Thankfully the world has adavnced a bit in 11 years regarding women's ability to self love. Judging by the comments, many relate. Interesting.
Why so many people got this video on their home page after 11 years including me in 2024 ?
Ikr
I guess we all need it🫥
real
You got this, too?
Because skinny is coming back😉
11 years ago i thought wow great video quality for 2000s then i realised 11 years ago was 2013
Frrr💀
Fr like I thought it meant 2009😭
@@Kamii_PR I thought it's 2009 too 😶🌫
SAME I was thinking 09-07 😭
WOW
You don’t find the video. The video finds YOU.
that makes me feel so guiltyy
shes the gas station commercial lady at the gas pump dude. seriously, check out her later videos. Speedway advertises her
And the fact that it’s 11 years old
only took 11 years hahahah
LMFAOOO frrr
"If i gave up on being pretty i would not know how to be alive" - Mitski
thats a dumbass quote 😭
@@soshisushi7421 not really. a lot of women center their lives around becoming prettier.
real
Real
Honestly this video hit home for me so hard but when it comes to success and following my dreams. I am so afraid of my own abilities and my own vast potential for success because I know it could leave me isolated. I feel alone, and I don’t want to be alone forever, so I sabotage my own abilities that I know will lead to envy because I want to be loved.
I’m afraid to be as talented as I am.
I like this lady, even if her video was about being skinny, for everyone they have their core values and the self sabotage and fear of being beautiful is real. She’s wise.
2024 and this came up. Okay, ill go get skinny.
Lol
Just eat natural foods that nourish your body and don't leave you craving crap. Do you see any fat animals in the wild? No. Slim and fit is our natural state.
@@Neophemawalruses are pretty fat.. also whales need to be to stay warm.. and wombats are pretty round
@@Neophemathere are fat animals..also humans are animals and can be naturally skinny or fat lol
@@NeophemaI seen fat animals out in the wild 😭
Honestly, came here expecting really problematic advice, but what she says actually makes sense.
Yes there is much more to the video;) I am glad you stayed and heard the underlying message 🖤
This showed up in my feed 11 years later. I just did the journal prompt and had to come back and comment. I realized that I am afraid if I allow myself to be skinny I will no longer fit in with my boring, stressful, unhappy life. So if I allow myself to be skinny I will have to go out and live the life of my dreams. That would require so much bravery. I am afraid if I could not find the bravery within myself, I would be even more unhappy.
Maybe some inner child prompts?
Here to tell you you're still allowed to be stressed out and unhappy when you improve your looks by weightloss, which might give a little comfort. Not a very encouraging comment perhaps but what I basically mean to say is, allow yourself to take one step at a time. These things aren't as attached to eachother as you make them out to be, it's just whatever you improve about yourself makes it's a little easier to deal with other areas in your life that need improvement. Gaining weight might have been a disfunctional coping mechanism, connected with your belief system at the moment, but not getting your whole life together at once doesn't make you a failure.
“Why am I afraid of living the life of my dreams?” Keep it going !
Congratulations bc youre being very honest with yourself!! Not a lot of people have the courage to admit to this. Its not only being skinny or whatever of course, but any “good” thing that we have an excuse for not doing. Nothing wrong with being fat but i feel like most people dont truly want to be, they just find excuses bc its scary to change…
This one ☝️ ❤
Reminds me of part of a poem. "There is a lion in my living room. I feed it raw meat so it does not hurt me. It is a strange thing to nourish what could kill you in hopes that it does not kill you." Also, "Feel it. The thing you dont want to feel. Feel it. And be free."
Oooooh That. Now that comment helps me Lol. For real tho.
❤
Beautiful
Who wrote the first one?
What poem?
"I started self-sabotaging. Have you ever done that?" YES. Every time. :(
Mom comment really got me. Everytime I try to better myself my mom starts competing. Makes me not want to try because I don’t want to be apart of her competition. But this is about me not her. Will give myself permission to be better
I so hear you...it is truly about allowing yourself to be all of who you desire to be. Others may get activated when they see us living our truth, but holding our truth back doesn't support them either. Sending you love
@@ElegantFemmethank you ❤️
Wow! Cheering you on.
I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. No mother should treat heir daughter like that. ❤❤❤
Your comment made me feel like I am not alone in this 💞 I struggle with a narcissistic mom too. I’ve stayed small in so many ways because I don’t like triggering her and having her challenge me and tear me apart. But it’s time to step into my own and be the woman I want to be, my mom and her little narcissistic games be damned!
11 year old video, I’m not a woman wanting to get skinny and I watched the whole video anyways. Now I’m writing in my journal about setting goals about who I want to become.
this is so amazing. i will journal about "can i let myself be happy?" because i think thats a beautiful journaling prompt. i dunno if im ready to do the skinny prompt, guess im afraid of that one
@@SaphiraLeander you can. Realize, think and feel what it would be like to be skinny. “I got to buy all these new pants because my old ones don’t fit”
How would your lifestyle change? Maybe you would go for a walk, run or workout each day?
How would your nutrition change? Making healthy meals, having quality food.
Realize that right now you are a healthy person, you are skinny, and your decisions you make going forward will follow that change of mentality.
Right I’m a woman who is already skinny due too fast metabolism I’m taking the advice for other aspects of my life
i don’t understand what i should journal out though
Love that for you
I watched this about a month or two ago, then I started journaling why I’ve been on the bigger side throughout my teen and adult life, since then I’ve lost probably 10-15 pounds, it keeps dropping too. I am a firm believer that weight is tied to trauma, working through it in a healthy way can definitely get those pounds down.
So writing magically drop the. Weight?
@@urlmelyes
@@urlmel I think what this is about is that journaling about the topic creates a healthier relationship with food and therefore people will "magically" drop the weight.
@@urlmelYou sound like someone who has never journaled.
It is therapeutic, you allow yourself to really connect with your inner self and you start being more conscious about a lot of stuff
@@YukiKunikida I’ve journaled before just not often but maybe I should more
If I let myself be skinny I would be more involved in my community and friendships. I would interact with everyone and say YES to every invite out. I would get dressed with ease. I would enjoy getting ready. I would not be fearful of being seen. I would actually enjoy compliments and believe them. I would feel accomplished. I could move on to other things in my life.
I hope you get your dream body, you deserve it🙏🏻
me too❤
I felt this.
Never related so much to something. I‘m even skipping vacation with my family because of it.
This right here is so true ! When my face was slim I wouldn’t hesitate to go out now it’s gotten so bad that I don’t even want to leave the house to go to the store down the block :(
What you're saying sounds ridiculous at first, but for the people who also think like me, this makes total sense. I've been obese my whole life. I've never been enormous, but large enough that I've never been the smaller girl in my group of friends. In my up-bringing, that was just the life style that I've learned. I'm actually trying to get some weight off so I can feel great on my wedding day and it's been so difficult. I know exactly what to do. It's been working, but I get complacent and I just can't seem to understand why. Some weeks ago, it occurred to me that I'm actually scared to be skinny and full of energy. That sounds so stupid when I type it out. I'm serious, though. Being more beautiful, fit and energetic actually scares me because it's means permanent life changes, unknowns and how much more attention am I going to get? I don't like attention because of the lifetime of insecurity. Weight loss is a real struggle on plains that I hadn't ever considered before until I started really trying. I know that I can't be alone in this.
You're not. I hope your wedding day was beautiful.
this is exactly how I feel today, I just turned 18, I am my no means fat but I would love to be thin, and beautiful but I'm somehow scared women will be mad at me for being thin, I am never mad at other women for being beautiful or thin because I realize that it takes a lot of intention and work, but for me I feel like I'm betraying some of bigger friends and I don't want them to be jealous of me, I don't want men to hit on me, but I still want attention and to know I'm desirable, I feel like I'm going crazy its a daily struggle of deciding if I want to be thin or stay the same and satisfy my family and friends.
I so hear you...and I recorded this so long ago. I might use different words today, but the essence is the same. Allowing ourselves to experience and express ALL of who we desire to be. I hope you had a stunning wedding day!
This is so real. I totally feel you. Your are beautiful for the simple fact that you know and speak your truth. ❤️
@@ElegantFemmehi
What are Frenchy and Indy? Where do these terms come from? Or where are they used? I have never heard them before. They sound like psychology terms?
i found this video right when i’m in the sabotaging phase. Thank you.
oh I am so glad it is supportive to you.
I realized recently that I self sabotage my weight loss because I am afraid of male attention. I know a lot of men are still attracted to me at a bigger size, but if I were skinny, I'd get 10x more attention. I don't like them approaching me or even looking at me for too long. I want to go about my life without being perceived, which is kind of impossible. I realize that being overweight doesn't just make me invisible to the men who are not attracted to me, it also makes me hide more. I assume I'd probably still cover up a lot even if I were skinny but I'd be less self conscious about going out and just living my life, but at the same time I'd be scared to receive too much male attention. I was an early bloomer and I had a curvy body as a teenager and none of the guys at my school were interested in dating me, they dated all the skinny girls who had mostly flat chests but they asked to see me naked or want to have sex or want me to take nude pictures. But they never publicly pursued me in any way. I also got a lot of attention from older men as a teen. I think this made me sabotage my own body and gain a lot of weight over time. I'm in my mid 20's now and I'm mostly just tired of being exhausted and not feeling good, not being able to wear the clothes I like, my back hurts, etc... I just want to be healthy and live my life and not have people assume things about me bc of my appearance. I think I'm just afraid of what comes with being a woman, I feel really unsafe in the world, objectified and always observed. Being overweight in a way is protection and also somewhat a form of rebellion but it's also something I'm deeply ashamed of.
17 yo and I completely agree with you, I’d say my way of feeling about myself is kind of different but about the subject of male gaze I agree with you at a 100%, I feel like having lived as an obese person really makes you see the bad side of some people, you don’t value them much so they won’t be afraid to mistreat you or to not give you so much attention, I really think it has helped me to be stronger in a way, to just understand that people will never really like me as they’re too stupid to understand that I have worth even as a person suffering from obesity, and in the same way, it made me disguised by most mens, the fact of objectifying women so much and litteraly disrespecting them when they don’t correspond to their beauty criterias just makes it impossible for me to actually believe that they are on the same level of intelligence and maturity as me, I don’t regret because overweight even tho it has caused me a lot of physical and psychological pain, I just feel so much detached from people now, and I can’t even imagine having a deep connection with someone who may disrespect me or being ashamed of me if I would simply have more fat in my body, and in general not pleasing their eyes. Before starting my weight loss I actually was actively looking for a man who would love me and be proud of me with and without my fat, and I can tell you, even though I’m younger than you, that even though you may be more ugly, undisciplined, more poor etc… when you’re fat, people still DONT have the right to disrespect you, being fat doesn’t mean belonging into a category of people with lower worth, we’re just normal people, with different bodies, we shouldn’t be ashamed or regret our habits choices, even our mistakes that made us fat, we need to be proud in order to evolve , because God Nevers makes mistake in our destiny, if we experienced a situation, we were meant to learn something from it !
We’re not just fat, we are people, we are souls, we were not supposed to be products of beauty , we shouldn’t fall into that societal thought of objectifying our bodies just like it has objectified our lives in order to create them abundance
@psychedelia5402 u worded this so perfectly
Omg never found someone who had the same thought process as me… wow. We should be friends
Five years ago I started therapy at my highest weight (109kg), I didn’t know why I couldn’t lose weight. Until after a lot of therapy sessions I found out that, one of the reasons I didn’t allowed myself to lose weight, was that if I did so, I was going to feel attractive enough to be in a relationship, and that scared me so so so much. It was true! I worked on it, I lost the weight, and found a loving partner
“what would it be like if you let yourself be skinny?”
if i let myself be skinny I would be my most authentic self, I wouldn’t have to worry constantly about if I’m being perceived as fat all the time, I wouldn’t feel inferior anymore. Something that has been burdening me for my whole life would finally be taken care of. And I could go on with my life and accomplish whatever I wanted. I could achieve the life that’s waiting on me. All while being skinny and beautiful.
I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I’m sorry to let you know it does not work like that. My body dysmorphia only worsened when I became slim. I worry more than ever before about how I’m being perceived. I constantly fear doing something to mess it up and losing the body I work hard for. It has benefits, and I could never deny that fact. But your life will not miraculously become problem free! You just have different problems than before! 🫶🏼
After losing 120 lbs I sometimes have to remind myself that I’m allowed to do this. It’s as if I’m waiting for someone to tell me I’m doing something wrong. I know I’m not doing anything wrong at all but that voice of self doubt has been a huge player in my life. It’s hard to shut her up now.
You are ALLOWED! You can feel safe in the body you desire to experience. Sending you so much love
@@ElegantFemme"you can feel safe in the body you desire to experience " you hit the nail on the head! Thank you!
I realized the reason I can't let myself be skinny is because I can't admit I want to be skinny. If I were to lose more weight on purpose it would show the world that I'm not happy enough as I am and I have a hard time being vulnerable like that.
I would invite you to do the journal exercise if you have not yet. What if it wasn’t about not being happy where you are, but desiring even more? And again it’s not that skinny makes anyone happy…it’s about trusting ourselves to live into whatever is uniquely calling us and not to self sabotage 🖤
I am now skinny, but it was not my main goal. I just wanted to look healthy and sweat more by doing regular home exercises. It wasn't easy, and it involved a lot of crying, but my body image has relatively improved and I can wear any clothes I want now. You can do it too. Believe in yourself!!
I allow myself to be skinny. I ve lost all my so called “ friends” who were always jealous, competitive and mean. Now am ready to step into my new era and be my best version, best friend, cheerleader 📣 and fan. ❤
Wow this popped into my feed and honestly you're a genius. I'm someone who has almost everything going on perfectly in my life and I just realized that I keep myself a bit on the heavier side because I'm afraid of being too perfect. It's like I self sabotage. Thank you so much for this. From now on I allow myself to be skinny and I allow myself to be perfect.
I'm not perfect, but everybody thinks I am (don't know why), the envy, the passive agressive comments, etc is a lot for me. When I gained weight people seemed to enjoyed it, and behave as if I was more easy to get along, more approachable, but my behaviour was the same as when I was skinny. I'm now losing fat, looking slimmer and have the feeling of being more vulnerable because I'm feeling lighter, smaller and found out that I gained the fat I lost because I was scary to feel vulnerable. I am now developing skills to feel I'm safe in a smaller and lighter body.
perfect lol looks like gods blessed u in the perfect life cards
@@EceV-g6i yes thank God I'm very grateful ❤️
Same. Most of my family members are overweight and I only post my body pics on my close friends story so they don't feel bad because that's how I used to and sometimes still feel...
From now on, I'll allow myself to be skinny, healthy, toned, sexy, and confident!
From personal experience other women find it threatening …
Who’s watching it in August 2024 ❤? This video just suddenly popped on my explore 🫨
I’m allowing myself to be skinny because after all I deserve to be skinny. I deserve to feel pretty and lovely and healthy so why keep depriving myself from it? I deserve to feel happier in my body, and from today I let myself be skinny
😂😂❤
This has helped me realize myself. I don’t allow myself to be pretty and purposefully uglify myself in order to protect myself and not get attention. It’s due to childhood trauma.
I don’t allow myself, because I am afraid of what will happen when I lose weight and regain my pretty self.
I hear you. You may feel called to join us inside of Chic365 if you have ever been called to move through A Course in Miracles. It’s ONE of the ways to remember that we are safe no matter what. 🖤
This is exactly same for me.
I am completely shocked. I watched this video a couple weeks back and without even thinking about it I slimmed down. I just realized I was scared to let myself stay skinny because i didn’t like when people called me scrawny and i didn’t like how i would lose fat in places that made me not fit the beauty standard. But i also don’t like how i would yo-yo and eat junk food whenever i got thin. I’m so pleased with the positivity of this video and how powerful the message is. It simply made me aware of my fears and how they drive me to sabotage my health and as a result I am not afraid to be healthy anymore.
Wowowowo! I’m so happy for you!!!! I’m sending you so much love and cheering you on. You are such a powerful woman, continue to approach life with all of this self love. Xoxoxox thank you for sharing this with me!
Ok UA-cam, what the actual F ?
HOW did UA-cam know I needed this right now ?
After yet another day feeling "cute but yet so fat", I've decided this morning that this needs to stop.
So thank you for this ❤️
Yep! I have been skinny all of my life, 105 pounds naturally. I started to feel shameful about my weight because of the media...I gained 20 pounds last year by taking a ton protein powder and forcing myself to eat when I wasn't hungry... Whenever I lost weight i'd get anxiety. Like how is that healthy? Learn to love yourself wherever you're at. Eat with love, not with fear. Forget what others think.
I can relate..desperate to be curvier...thank you.
hi girl, how tall are you?I am also 105 pounds but still I feel so fat like a baby elephant after eating a little more and sometimes when im stuck somewhere ,cannot eat and extremely hungry then I feel like im weak and thin.I don't know what sort of mental disorder is this..I keep my eyes on calories a lot which is not very beautiful.
@@POTPOURRI.1 Hey girl! I am 5'4.
It sounds like you might need to do some shadow work, love! is it a self-image issue? If it is, I would look at ways you can heal your self-image and start loving yourself for exactly the way you look NO MATTER WHAT. We've ALL been conditioned to think we are not beautiful exactly the way we are!!
You can try somatic healing practices: Eat when you're hungry and stop eating when you are no longer hungry... Have a conversation with your body.. ask what it needs and give it that!
Remember, you are not your mind or thoughts. Any beliefs you;ve been conditioned to have can be deconditioned but it starts with you and self-love. We need to train the mind that we want to be HEALTHY, not bigger, or smaller. Being skinny doesn't mean being weak and eating a little more doesn't mean we're fat.... these are false beliefs.
I hope that helps🧡
I’m 5’4” like you, weighing around 90 pounds soaking wet and I have had a similar experience. With so many overweight people projecting onto me, I started trying to force myself to eat more, follow stricter workout regimens and wear larger clothing to hide my body. Then I had to consider the source. These ppl hate themselves. Why would I take their own lack of self love personally? I am working on loving my natural slimness and being grateful for the beautiful life it affords me. 💕
Of course, this can be taken to extremes, but my doctors have never had a concern for my body. This is simply how God made me. 😊
@@thenappynatural I love this!!!! "this is simply how God made me." YES. Thank you for your comment, love! ❤
Wow, thank you so much for this. It took a few pages of journaling to change the story from, "my body is scared" to "my body is sacred." Blessings to you! 💖
SOOOOO Good!
WORD♡
i feel like this video popped up 11 years later for a reason. it’s everything i needed to hear right now. i think starting the process of allowing myself to have my dream body and looks is scary; there’s so much that goes into becoming that person i dream of. it doesn’t only include eating better and working out, but its a whole lifestyle change. i’ve always been a procrastinater, and i think because of that ive had a hard time starting that journey.
This is a PROFOUND awareness! Bravo to you for allowing yourself to feel this. I’m sending you so much love as you say yes to YOU!
@@ElegantFemme❤️❤️❤️
I allow myself to be skinny and allow myself to be beautiful without worrying about the changes 💟I let myself be skinny
you are a genious. i felt like talking to a therapist while watching this. i’ve lost 10 kgs. in this process, i have to face people who tell me that my overweight state was more beautiful and tell me to quit dieting over and over and honestly i get really fed up and want to eat like crap after hearing them. i was actually experiencing what you said before losing weight, i wish i had seen this video from the beginning. i allow myself to be skinny. i have 7 more kgs to lose, and i won't let anyone make me give up and i won’t be affected by what they say, because i allowed myself to be in the way that i want.
You are awesome, and you will get there❤. Take the power back, do not give in to those who say "you looked better when you were plump". Let them say whatever they want, keep going with your routine, keep improving
If I allowed myself to be skinny then I would have so much less to worry about. How I see myself if something that is in my head every second of every day. Feeling pretty would change how I feel about so much.
It’s Amazing how much Time and energy we can consume with thoughts of not being enough. Sending you love as you allow yourself to come into deeper awareness of your power.
I almost had it this month. I had almost amazing abs and everything... then I felt strange or almost empty. I had no more self hatred and I was actually content with who I was.. and that scared me the most because all this time I had been living that way and I wondered if I even deserved to feel this way. I wondered what all my friends and family would think. I realized I never would have to worry about looking good in clothes again. My forever goal was gone, and I had to find a new one but at the end of the tunnel I didn’t know what I was even passionate about anymore. All of my energy and decisions went to striving for that body. And when I almost had it, knowing my purpose would be gone, I caved and went back into old habits again. It’s not too late! I give myself permission to be skinny because I deserve to be happy too and I deserve to be free from my past self
I was skinny all my life until I realized later on in my forties that it is completely healthy to have extra fat on your body as a woman. As someone who was a fashion model for all my teenage years into my early twenties, let me tell you that being skinny does not mean being happy. This is an illusion. Everybody has a different body type. Please don't think that skinny means pretty. Please don't equate skinny with happiness. Be healthy. Feel good in your body. How you feel in your body, being STRONG and having muscles and a healthy amount of fat is ideal. When I was skinny, my female friends wanted my body - but after years of being skinny, now that I am not skinny anymore, I am less anxious, I sleep better, and feel better. Our nerves need fat. Fat is good for the body and the mind. I absolutely hate this notion that skinny women are pretty. We can be pretty and feel beautiful with any body type. We have to accept different body types, and accept ourselves as we are - live a healthy LIFESTYLE.
This is absolutely true and the foundation of the journal exercise. To allow ourselves to experience our fullest expression without self sabotaging. 🖤
@@ElegantFemme
I literally cannot believe I manifested you into my life. Although my 1st time on your page I was pondering why I kept sabotaging my wt loss efforts every time I’d start seeing results. It’s insane but now I realize I need to grant myself permission. I love this very simple concept and applying now! Thank you so much!
There’s something comforting about these older style self improvement videos. Feels like one of those daytime network shows from the late 00s and early 2010s that also have a blog
;) I agree
2024 now, and this is the most refreshing thing I’ve seen in years.
It’s like stepping back into reality where “woke” didn’t exist, and people were normal.
OMG THIS! 🖤
huh
oh that’s not
so real
In college I started getting skinny and my sis who had always been skinny was like "You're competing with me." It was unfair because I had always wanted this, it had nothing to do with her.
What it really seems is SHE was competing with you. She was projecting and blaming you for something she was actually doing. She was used to being the skinny sister and by you improving your body that meant more competition for her! Allow yourself to be skinny and let your sister stay triggered. Live your best life! ❤
A few months ago I noticed some weight loss.. so I began to see that everywhere on my body. My stomach was smaller. I EXPECTED to see the scale go down. The scale started to drop. I did nothing different. Mindset, mindset mindset.
It’s 100% true! Our bodies follow our minds!!!! Cheering you on 🖤
❤❤❤
Being skinny will solve half of my problems I wouldn't struggle 5 years with Ed ✨️
This vidéo goes beyond the surface and it’s very important if one has an ED to see this clearly. The first message is self love. Sending you healing
I'd be able to have the closet that I know I could just reach in without any thought and whatever I grabbed would look beautiful on me. No more planning outfits ahead of time to make sure I don't look too fat. No more feeling disgusted at how I feel when I try on a beautiful dress that would look soooo perfect "if I could just be a little skinnier"
If I let myself be skinny I’d wear cute clothes and not worry about my body dysmorphia especially on mirrors in different stores
when im at my lowest weight, i get attention from everyone, the wrong or the right kind. my eating habits and body will be scrutinized. men who had bad intentions would pursue me. I've learned since and have better boundaries, plus now my style is more modest. i will be skinny so i feel comfortable in my own skin again and can focus on my goals instead of worrying bout calories, the next meals, outfits not being flattering, etc
I'd be a lot happier. I'd look forward to getting dressed. I would be able to focus on other parts of my life--how I live. I would probably be less ashamed and have more confidence.
I’m sorry but can I just say we should perhaps question why we have the desire to be skinny in the first place? Why should you want to look a certain way, why does it matter at all. Because societal structures (i.e. patriarchy) tie women’s worth to their physical traits as they have historically seen as first and foremost mothers to bear babies. Now, 2024, do we really still need to direct so much of our energy to how we look, and still feed into that desire of appealing to somebody else, finally getting a perfect body to show off? Aren’t there more interesting things to work on?
You are so right. I’m glad that someone agrees with me in this comment section because everyone seems to support this without questioning. It’s like if everyone’s a brainless lamb in here.
Also, this video can be really triggering to some people. Asking myself the question, why am I not allowing myself to be skinny is just equivalent to asking why did I eat today at all. And this video, the question makes me even more guilty about eating, pushing me even more into my ed. And I know that I’m not alone. This is so dangerous. Eating is not self sabotaging, we literally need to eat to STAY ALIVE for god’s sake. I’m so tired of being a part of this system where I’m killing myself to fit in this stupid standard.
im so glad someone said it
the deeper meaning of this video goes far beyond and nto allowing ourselves to express all of who we are without upper limiting. I created this 11 years ago;) and would not name it the same today...but the message has helped a lot of women to let themselves embody what they desire. It is not about being skinny...as much as being whatever truly honors you. There is an updated podcast here podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-91-body-image-real-talk-the-love-the/id1611435615?i=1000652988869
I so hear you...and I agree. The deeper message of the video is to support letting go of any upper limits.
This is for yourself. Would you say this to a woman if they wanted to become jacked and have great muscles and show them off? In a way you sound mysognistic harping on the fact that making it sound like the only reason a woman would want to look a certain way is for men. Gross.
I had stalled out when I got 10 lbs away from being out of obesity. I'm 40 lbs away from being a normal BMI. And it has to do a lot with accepting my own strength and mirroring back other people's insecurities. Ultimately, I'm not their keeper and their insecurity belongs only to them. I don't have to own it for them. And I don't have to stay fat. I just have to keep going a little farther, then I'll be out of obesity.
Amen! Honoring yourself and prioritizing what you require is the most gorgeous thing we can do for everyone we love. Xoxoxo cheering you on
yesss when I lost that last 10ish pounds my family all of a sudden was super into fitness and made comments of me being too skinny
Wear BULKY CLOTHS -- sometimes -- and stand up straight and proud of yourself in a healthy kind way.
Bulky CLOTHS givex you the advantage in many ways.
I wish I had known this sooner.
I can weigh what I want and live my best life.
No one will say you're too skinny, or be jealous then.
Maybe they r toxic and u need to distance urself a little bit from them
23 and finally starting to watch what I eat! Letting myself become skinny is such a good way to put it 😮
I no longer want to view myself through other people’s eyes.
Being skinny would mean I wouldn't have to stress out about what to wear all the time and how to make it look just so. ;)
I'd stop comparing myself to everyone else and I'd be closer to permit myself to reach my own goals. I'd feel beautiful, worthy and Id be less depressed.
+Gee Meggers - let's do it then! :-)
Such an interesting concept! Times in life I've gotten more fit I always retreat back to my old ways because I feel I don't deserve to be at my fittest, healthiest and happiest. This video has certainly opened my eyes to what's really going on in my psyche. Thank you!!
So powerful!
You deserve to be fit and healthy!❤
I've always had this thought, so it's not difficult to answer: If I allowed myself to be skinny I'd feel as if I could truly embrace the world around me, fully live life, and experience the type of desires I've only ever been able to dream about. I'd dress the way I want to, go to the places I want to (and not feel like I don't belong), and talk to the people I want to. I'd finally feel like I was able to live and be. I wouldn't feel like I'm in constant distress with my current situation and self
I’m sending you so much love! Go live your beautiful life! Xoxox
I did the journaling and I realised for me it’s impatience!! Because I know that being skinny is a lifestyle and it takes time for it to be consistent, so I just give up trying.
we are here for a short time; everything takes time...or we can see it as allowing ourselves to participate in the life we desire.
For some reason this came on my timeline today in 2024… I did the journal activity and I actually shocked myself with something I wrote and I think I’ll share it here.
“What if I let myself be skinny, I loose the weight and I’m treated better. Does that confirm that my value as a woman is tied to my physical appearance” I didn’t even know that was something I was scared of I didn’t realize that I was looking for external acceptance. 😅 I always told myself I don’t care what anyone thinks but apparently my subconscious still does! Atleast now I can face that reality and know my worth is not defined by others opinion. My life, my body, my goals.
ohhh what a HUGE awareness. Sending love xoxoxo
Turns out it's not just being skinny. I can also use the journal format for other things. I am socially awkward and anxious. Can I give myself permission to be loud and cringe? Can I give myself permission to express myself? Yes, absolutely.
Yes, I'm allowed to be sociable. I'm allowed to be pretty and dress up. I'm allowed to be skinny--and I'm allowed to ignore those who always tell me to gain more weight.
I feel me getting skinny would make people around me insecure. I want them to be comfortable around me . Also whenever I try to be skinny I'm said I'm trying to hard . I feel guilty.
found this on my fyp and thought id give it a go. im at a crossroads in my life right now with a lot of uncertainty and realize i keep drinking alcohol and binge eating every night after work instead of coping with my uncertainty in healthy ways because i feel like i cant focus on myself until all these other issues are resolved. so i drink, eat, and watch netflix to forget my problems, which ive realized is probably because id rather avoid my problems than face them head on. but also, some of them take time to figure out, new job, new university, new relationship that is long distance, so all of this uncertainty leaves me feeling paralyzed bec theres nothing i can do to fix it right now and i feel like once i get everything figured out, THEN and only then can i work on myself.
I hear you! And it’s such an easy cycle to slip into. I acknowledge your awareness and your intention. And also the power in recognizing that prioritizing yourself is the ONLY way anything can “work out” sending love 🖤
honestly I'm already skinny and when I saw this video on my feed it felt so strange and irrelevant, however, I realised that your advice isnt just for losing weight, I could also apply it for my studies. I've always wanted to be a top student, but everytime I feel like I have accomplished that I would sabotage myself. I will now follow your advice to journal. Thanks Tara.
Beautiful!!!! Yes this applies to EVERY area of our lives! Cheering you on
I like the idea of giving ourselves permission to do something and not letting any self-concepts hold us back.
We all just want to feel loved and happy. We don't need to look a certain way, have a certain amount of money, or even be liked by other people to feel happy and loving. We can just cut out the middleman and practice being happy and loved unconditionally - But I support any and every journey someone wants to take in pursuit of their joy and others. 💜
I hope everyone here finds the joy they are looking for in themselves and each other 💕
Amen 🙏
I hate people around me call me "skinny" when I am of substantial weight for my body type and bone density. A bunch of people call me skinny as in "under weight." I would like to be skinny as in "toned" or "muscular."
I finally allow myself to be skinny. To be happy to be free. I deserve this. I will succeed.
if i let myself be skinny, i would no longer have an excuse not to participate in my life. if i let myself be skinny, all these scary things ive been avoiding with my thick layer of protective blubber will just go right through me and i’ll have to deal with them, but i’ll be skinny. i’m going to get more attention. i’m going to put more effort into my appearance, and i am scared of effort. i am scared of trying and failing. but i’m done sabotaging myself. if i let myself be skinny, i will no longer be in the waiting room of my life, by not being skinny i am just prolonging the beginning of my life. it’s time to start. it’s time to rip off the bandaid. being fat has always been an excuse not to buy nice clothes, not to take care of myself, not to go out, not to try. no longer! its time to make an effort! its time to venture out into the wild pale yonder!
Omg! I’m crying reading your message. I so acknowledge you for feeling this, allowing this and surrendering to the love that you are. I’m cheering you on and celebrating you! GO LIVE! You are beautiful and worthy of it all!🖤
I can’t let myself be skinny because i don’t know if i can accept the love, attention, the “did you lose weight?”s, the texts, comments, gawks, glares, stares, you name it i’m so afraid. as a young woman , teenager. with a thin desire i’m conditioned to need something to complain about. I could let myself be skinny, but giving up candy and fast food would send me into a frenzy. like at the very beginning of “illicit bodies”, when our sisters from the 1800s totally destroyed their organs by the cinching of lace corsets. i just don’t want to end up like that, and destroy myself for society or a man. i want to reconstruct myself FOR myself, i’m just not ready to accept the attention and love yet 😕
This is my first day of diet and this is litterally a sign.
And I also invite you to let go of the word diet and see if the idea of not depriving yourself. But making choices from a place of whines may serve you more completely. Only you know 🖤
@@ElegantFemmea place of whines? Is that a typo
When you said "beautiful gorgeous skinny body" I felt it to my bones lol It will let it get stuck in my head for motivation
1. The desire
2. Giving yourself permission ( allowing yourself to be)
What to do?
journaling
1- can i let myself be skinny?
Sit down and really answer this , , question , spend 10-15 minute answering that question, all the reasons why you still not experience your desire ( to be skinny).
You will get clarity and why you still didn’t give yourself permission to be skinny?
2- what would be like if you let yourself be skinny? And no longer have to be worried about this?
I’d feel like there’s nothing I can’t accomplish, because my head and heart is invested in achieving this one thing that felt so impossible for years, that finally being skinny meant I could accomplish and maintain anything I put my mind to.
This correlates so much with me Everytime I fix one of my hype fixated insecurities I stop doing whatever it took to get there and I slowly go back and complain about them again my Brian dosent allow me to consistently work on it,this video awoken something in me
Love the awareness! Cheering you on!
This is not only about body image. It’s the same logic for everything. Thank you!
if i didn't have to worry about being skinny i would spend more time on my career
Sometimes… someone violates our body so much fat because the armor and the insulation against the world. Sometimes the fat is an armor against the pain of life.
Also, don’t need to deal with as much male attention or female competition.
I hear you and I’m sending you such love and healing. May you feel safe and loved fully- no matter what.
This is really the way for all change. I did this in reverse recently "what would happen if I gave myself permission to stop tracking macros, even if I gained a little weight?" Now Im 4lbs up but maintaining a slim healthy figure without needing to track. I can focus on other thinfs besides my meals.
It's all about allowing ourselves to live into our truth, and I totally agree not obsessing is best. There is an updated podcast on this here podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-91-body-image-real-talk-the-love-the/id1611435615?i=1000652988869
I think genuinely one of the reasons I've not let myself be skinny is that I'm afraid I won't be loved for who I am- if I'm attractive, men will like me, but I want to meet a man who likes me for me, not my body.
The legend says this video finds you… just wow!
"You embody the essence of feminine power and grace, inspiring others to embrace their true selves and live life with both elegance and purpose."
I don't want to be skinny, I want to be jacked af, ripped and bench press almost ×2 my weight.
nice
Same, thicker legs too.
Skinny is not my goal. But, this video is from 2012, people were obsessed with being skinny then. Not too surprised.
@@Mii..Good god, the point is not the skinnyness this applies to being jacked to.
@@user-us3jy2mb5r What are talking about? That's literally her point, being skinny, slim, you're just talking.
@@Mii..why'd u click on the vid if its not what ur looking for?
Alright, let me tell you one thing. Forget the skinny part and replace it with whatever current goals you might have, I replaces skinny with studious. The advice is wonderful, just choose your "Skinny" and go for it.
Absolutely love this! And this is why we did an entire “Let Yourself Be” series 🖤
Universe makes sense. I don’t feel the need to be skinnier, I just now realize that I don’t allow myself to live to my full potential. Seeing this today was exactly what I needed. The perfect day for me to see this. Like I said, Universe makes sense. Thank you for having never erased this vid. Even if I’m late to it, it found me:)
exactly its not about any special body type, its about the deeper allowing without limits! Cheering you on!
I just organized my closet last night and went through all my beautiful clothes i never wear because i tend to throw on yoga pants and a hoodie. . Funny,, last night i gave myself permission to wear them and feel beautiful. This message reinforced that idea. Like a sign to go ahead. Thanks ❤.
Love this so much! You might also really enjoy the Let Yourself Be Beautiful episode in this series. It is in the playlist. And congrats for gifting yourself this celebration in your life 🖤
What I understood from this is “allow yourself to be healthy” it is not about physical appearance anymore
It is about having a healthy and a strong body
This is true. And we have a “Let Yourself be Healthy “ version of this series in the playlist 🖤
If i allow myself to be skinny and no longer worry about it, my life would be the same, but more peaceful. I would feel in alignment with myself because I would feel so proud, grateful, and accomplished. I would have achieve a personal goal of mine, and I would reliqunish in the feeling of gratitude towards myself for setting my self up for success once again. I would continue to love myself, just as I do now. Thus, I am now giving myself permission to be ‘skinny’
Divine timing thankyou god for sign✨🙏Recently I lost 8 kg weight and I m happy happy in this stage of my life.I started working out from 2020 and it’s been 4 years and I’m still working on my body.Though people say why do you wanna lose even more I think you’re perfect but that’s there opinion.People often start to tease me now you’re bone eat more just because they can’t follow the same routine they made for themselves and project their insecurities on me .Well I just don’t care cuz they didn’t care when I weighed more it was me who pushed myself every day to love my body and trust the process and why will I stop for these people??I have decided to keep working out even I m fat or skinny even if I will able to make my dream body to own body .These people will still tell you shitty things to bring u down .So , Always listen to yourself thoughts ❤️Whoever gets this comment we will be there ✨🥰
Honor your own inner knowing and as it comes from self love all with benefit🖤
11 Years after this video was made and it popped up for me because I was searching for content on how to stop hating my body. I swear it's like the universe brought me here. I just finished the journal prompt and wow! It was definitely enlightening. Now, as for what it would be like if I let myself be skinny? Wow. I would actually live my life instead of obsessing about my size, I'd stop letting other people's expectations and opinions dictate how I live my life. Succinctly, I would be a much happier person! I am so glad I found this video!
I am so happy it served you and that you allowed yourself to take it deeper. It's so freeing! Bravo
I got skinny but still didn't feel good enough about my body. I started weightlifting but then learned i needed to eat more, specifically a lot of protein, to build muscle. So i gained some weight tracking my food and eating the right amount. Still waiting to see if i like my body better or if i just want to be skinny instead. Being thin is great but it doesn't automatically give a beautiful body.
Agree, this is about trusting yourself and horning yourself completely
I just realized I am not letting myself be skinny because growing up I’ve always been skinnier than my mom and coincidentally she would be _so_ mean to me. Now, the tables have turned, she’s the skinnier one and treats me better. So my inner little girl connected the dots - “Mom is happier when she’s skinny. So then she is nice to me and she likes me. I should stay fatter than Mom to make her happy and she will treat me better.”
This is a huge awareness. The journal exercise may really support you. 🖤
I could hike and do climbing walls without feeling self conscious. I'm short and strong but people see my extra curves and assume I'm lazy and weak. I often surprise people with how strong and hard working I am and it's annoying. If I let myself be skinny I think people would believe in me more and maybe I could believe in me more too.
+Stefanie Allen Do it for yourself! It doesn't matter what other people think! Good luck!
+Stefanie Allen You're perfect just as you are.
If I no longer had to be worried about being skinny because I finally achieved that goal, I suppose I would no longer worry about my clothing fitting me a certain way. I'd be happy my fits look similar to my pinterest boards.
If I was skinny it would release me from so much. I’ve always dealt with mental hunger or food obsession and if I could let go of that I can’t imagine all the different ways I could spend that mental energy.
This is a huge awareness. I went through something similar in recognizing how much energy was being out towards wanting to control or be perfect in some way. A beautiful question to ask yourself may be “if I allow myself to remove my energy from this obsession, what would my Soul want me to put my energy into?” You can journal and see what surfaces for you. 🖤
Today is September 21st ,2024.
And i got it noww!!!! It was uploaded on the 21st of September 12 years ago!
I allow myself to be pretty again and stop dressing down to make others around me feel comfortable, I allow all the attention and love from myself so I can truly be my best version of myself
never water yourself down to make others comfortable❤
This is what i needed to hear today❤
thank you
Ohmygosh.. TRUEEE
OMG SO TRUE ❤❤❤
This is a sign, a video from 11years ago
I dieted from 185 down to 109 and was in the absolute best shape of my life, worked out two hours a day, lifting heavy weights and moderate cardio and restricted calories from 1200 down to 900 to get there. I looked beautiful…but my head was a MESS. I literally thought about calories in/calories out 24/7/365, if I didn’t like the taste of something I would spit it out because I couldn’t spare the calories for something less than good. I read the package on chewing gum and made sure to log the 5 calories if I didn’t have access to the 0 calorie kind. It consumed my life and I was neurotic. If my boyfriend didn’t want to do the deed I freaked out, hysterical crying because I felt like I wasn’t thin enough or something. I made myself crazy. Kept at it for about 4 years and have since slowly gained it all back. And I don’t like it, but I’m so much happier and calmer in my self and my daily life.
I hear you. When we approach anything from a place of self love vs punishment- it changes everything. Sending you so much love
What would it be like? It would be FANTASTIC. I could only imagine all the outfits I would wear 🥲 better treatment from people.
Well, I am 16. Just an average "Ordinary" girl. I never really cared so much for my appearance and looks until I hit my teens. I used to be a bookworm back then. Always busy in studying. No time for my self-care. I was insecure and overweight. I used to overeat to overcome my stress. My classmates bullied me for being the "Ugly" one. I got into depression and suicidal. I still remember crying alone in my room, thinking why I am like this? Why I look like this? I can't see my face and body in mirror. I started to hate and compare with jealousy from other better looking women. Being a brownie, I was always jealous with fair and skinny girls. My height is only 5ft2. I considered myself short. Now, this video pop out. I realized that "being skinny" is like a "healthy privilege" to me. I have to digest the truth. Skinny is better than my current body type. I am NOT body shaming anyone but putting my mere raw opinions without any sugar coating fillers. I took a challenge to lose at least 5 kg and start a daily exercise + diet routine. Hope, God bless me. Keep going my girls! ❤❤❤
Sending you such deep love and acceptance. There is so much here...please find the support you need and also know how loved you are.
2:37 that hit home
You can’t imagine how much this has helped me. I’ve struggled stepping into adulthood and my self image. I’m scared to step into my womanhood because subconsciously I feel others will compete with me and I can’t stand at their level.
I so hear you and this is such a vulnerable thing for us to admit. We play small for this exact reason. Inside of Elegant Femme women share with me all the time that they went from feeling like a little girl to a woman. It may be so helpful for you to start with The Femme Design Assessment and activate your FemmeTypes so you can begin to trust your power. Www.ElegantFemme.com/FDA
Xoxo
for my preteen years i always wanted to be beautiful and popular. I was chubby and insecure. For some time I was bitter at the fact that I had so much trouble feeling confident and getting male attention. But then around 15-16 I realized something. Confidence isn't a "on off" switch. You might have to do things to make yourself more confident. I have lost weight and now at 16 I am much skinnier than I used to be, I have better posture, dress and style myself better, and take care of myself. Some may see it as "giving in to beauty standards" I see it as "making myself happier and healthier" and I feel better about myself. My life doesn't have to be a political statement on not fitting beauty standards. If I feel better as a thin person, great! I'll be skinny and take care of myself.
Wow! At 16 such an evolved and aware response. And as we know from the video it’s not just about being « Skinny » it’s really about Loving ourselves to experience what we desire without the fear that someone else won’t like it. Sending you so much love and acknowledgment 🖤
@@ElegantFemme thank you!
This is so foriegn to me. I've had fear of being fat but never "afraid" to be skinny. I never wanted to be skinny but I do want a fit, healthy slender body. So I focused on health and have never had to worry about it. Unless I deviate from my own norm. Thankfully the world has adavnced a bit in 11 years regarding women's ability to self love. Judging by the comments, many relate. Interesting.