A Mentalist Guide to Social Interaction | Tom Indigo | TEDxBismarck

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  • Опубліковано 31 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 107

  • @mayne159
    @mayne159 4 роки тому +255

    1. Be bold
    Unlearn your social fears
    Notice and compliment people
    2. Be a good listener
    Be active, dont hijack the convo
    Nod 3 three times to stay alert
    3. Be passionate
    Everyone is unique, try to learn sthg abt them
    Be passionate when ure talking

    • @anidane4287
      @anidane4287 4 роки тому +2

      Thanks You saved my time

    • @chaindawgR6
      @chaindawgR6 4 роки тому +4

      thanks, this is apart of my homework lolol

    • @thomafuad6523
      @thomafuad6523 3 роки тому +4

      😌😌😌 I’m Noding

    • @zaiyuanlu8751
      @zaiyuanlu8751 3 роки тому

      A+ student, I'll use your summary, thanks

    • @bastian7106
      @bastian7106 2 роки тому +1

      I hate how you write but thanks you

  • @DAMfoxygrampa
    @DAMfoxygrampa 3 роки тому +51

    This is basically the 80/20 principle applied to social interaction. These few tips will give you 80% of the results. Good advice

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 роки тому +8

      Spot on! Thank you for the kind words 😊

    • @TradeEchelon
      @TradeEchelon 10 місяців тому +2

      I like what you said. It gives me hope I can become a better version of myself in the future.

  • @kit8209
    @kit8209 3 роки тому +46

    I never really learned how to interact properly in elementary school due to a lot of friendship issues and overall bad friendships that negatively affected both me and others. I also happen to have adhd and go on rants a lot and I’m trying to become more self aware, this was very helpful

    • @love-su1ez
      @love-su1ez 2 роки тому +3

      As someone who has anxiety I actually like when ppl with adhd ramble. I hope this doesn’t sound weird but I find it kind of cute. Idk why. Since I don’t talk much (at least at first) I don’t mind listening 🙃 but becoming more self aware is great hope it’s going well

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 2 роки тому

      Same here. I didn’t realize it back when I gave this talk, but a big part of the content can especially help fellow neurodivergent folks consolidate their social deficits. May your quest for better social awareness be a fruitful one!

  • @PlantagenetRose
    @PlantagenetRose 5 років тому +396

    Social anxiety brought me here

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 5 років тому +28

      Chim Chim Panda Social anxiety is why I ended up on that stage! Hope you got something good out of it 🙂

    • @princealmighty5391
      @princealmighty5391 5 років тому +3

      Nice profile picture buddy! Very flash

    • @Michael-go9hm
      @Michael-go9hm 5 років тому +4

      AHAHAHA and for me, it dragged me here

    • @todabsolute
      @todabsolute 4 роки тому +5

      I had the same issue before, but now I just hate interaction with people. They hate me when I'm being honest but judge me when I lie

    • @marveon9815
      @marveon9815 3 роки тому

      Yep 🥴

  • @aisuluuduisheeva2648
    @aisuluuduisheeva2648 2 роки тому +3

    I have never thought that being vulnerable is showing your genuineness toward a person you are talking to.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 2 роки тому +1

      You know, if I had more time on this talk I’d have expanded on that point. We all wear “masks” for various social contexts in an effort to fit in. Unfortunately, the price of fitting in can often be a weakened genuine connection.

  • @losto9247
    @losto9247 2 роки тому +10

    If you show you vulnerability and get upset because another person or people took advantage of that, remember it is not you, it is them - sociopaths. So don’t get too angry or upset, notice situation and find gratitude to whatever happened. Because thanks to universe you were given an opportunity to kick toxic people out from your life and learn ❤️👌😌peace

  • @videologs2400
    @videologs2400 5 років тому +43

    Most underrated video...better than numerous other conversation or social videos.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 5 років тому +13

      Video Logs Thank you for the kind words! I’m glad it helped 🙂

    • @videologs2400
      @videologs2400 5 років тому

      @@tomindigo3254 😊😊

  • @asariqbal5341
    @asariqbal5341 3 роки тому +7

    Great!
    Being an active and patient listener is really important 👍

  • @Michael-go9hm
    @Michael-go9hm 5 років тому +16

    This guy was awesome, reminds me of my older brother

  • @buatamante62
    @buatamante62 5 років тому +30

    Honestly a great video! Hopefully I can incorporate this!

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 5 років тому +4

      Anthony Bustamante I hope it goes well for you! I tried to make it as tangible and practical as possible

  • @franciscopham6596
    @franciscopham6596 2 роки тому +8

    all I do is listen. I have nothing to say back is the problem

  • @soilmilk4712
    @soilmilk4712 2 роки тому

    School's starts next week and definitely my lack of social interaction has brought me here.

  • @urdin2242
    @urdin2242 2 роки тому

    You laid it out exactly how I needed. Thank you, man.

  • @jasonfreeman5850
    @jasonfreeman5850 Рік тому

    Grateful for self.. and this video!!!

  • @g0rdo176
    @g0rdo176 3 роки тому

    This video changed my life

  • @lykimgech3806
    @lykimgech3806 5 років тому +3

    Thx q so much. This deserves more views

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 5 років тому +2

      Ly Kimgech Thank you so much 😊

  • @philmcgroin
    @philmcgroin Рік тому +1

    For a lifechaning book on this subject, see:
    The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane

  • @Michael-go9hm
    @Michael-go9hm 5 років тому +5

    This was great and simple to grasp

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 4 роки тому

      Michael M Thank you for this kind words 😊

  • @ff-kr9mn
    @ff-kr9mn 2 роки тому

    It was a nice talk. Learned something interesting. Thank you so much Tom🙂

  • @sbo6477
    @sbo6477 2 роки тому

    Everyones on social media which is anything but social so spending hours a day being anti-social then when actual social interaction occurrs you are prohibited

  • @dr.magdahhassan5580
    @dr.magdahhassan5580 3 роки тому +3

    Nice talk. Thanks a lot.

  • @allxson_k
    @allxson_k 2 роки тому

    I'm here bc our face to face class is about to start.

  • @Ctskates
    @Ctskates Рік тому

    I smoked my social skills out the window so im hoping this will help.

  • @sujith0999
    @sujith0999 4 роки тому +3

    Great speech. .I can't understand why the viewers number is so less. ..

  • @BiowareKaiserGirl
    @BiowareKaiserGirl 2 роки тому +3

    I am not sure what it is but I never knew what to say around people most of the time. I listen to what they are talking about and I never know whay to add that isn't awkward weird. I tried it before I just get a look and a awkward response and things move on again... it is do tiring..

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 2 роки тому +2

      I hear you. The same thing used to happen to me ALL the time. One tip that helps me is “be more interested than interesting”.
      Basically, ask open ended questions about the other person. Get a sense of what excites them as they answer, and then follow up with another open question that lets them dive deeper into whatever excited them.
      Nothing you say or do can interest people more than themselves. Once they ask you something in return (Assuming they’re polite and socially cognizant), there’s no shame in having a couple of “scripted” responses. Put some thought into how you respond to common questions, and figure out how to answer in a concise and charming way.
      Hope that helps a little 😊

  • @matta9358
    @matta9358 3 роки тому +1

    Good video, belongs on the main channel really.

  • @NabiryeDoreen-de5mq
    @NabiryeDoreen-de5mq Рік тому

    Thank you

  • @candykandy
    @candykandy 3 роки тому +1

    Great tips. Thank you!

  • @carrie5194
    @carrie5194 2 роки тому

    I have to meet my crush's friends in two days and I rlly don't want to mess it up... 🙃being introverted sucks sometimes

  • @JustmeSEVEN
    @JustmeSEVEN 3 роки тому +2

    "it's easier to present our best self on screen"
    Me: yeah yeah •-•

  • @kartiksarode7726
    @kartiksarode7726 2 роки тому

    Really helping me

  • @meenaxirana2695
    @meenaxirana2695 4 роки тому +2

    Well said!

  • @Keylight1
    @Keylight1 3 роки тому

    I packaged it alright!

  • @bydiebydie5535
    @bydiebydie5535 5 років тому +2

    Great video!!!

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 4 роки тому

      Bydie Bydie Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂

  • @azkcm
    @azkcm 3 роки тому +6

    Em, you also need to be that good looking to show compliment to a stranger or they would think that you are a weirdo, wouldn’t they?

    • @ZTheLastViking
      @ZTheLastViking 3 роки тому +1

      That's what I thought too
      It's not just what is said but also who gives the compliment that matters

    • @robertochacon5338
      @robertochacon5338 3 роки тому +5

      that's why the compliment must be neutral. like on the shirt, not on the boobs... LOL

  • @ericmartinez7322
    @ericmartinez7322 2 роки тому +1

    10:52 time stamp no
    offense but what works for you does not work for me.

  • @richard-social8125
    @richard-social8125 2 роки тому

    Is this meant to advice for work environemnts as well.

  • @mirouu13
    @mirouu13 2 роки тому

    Nice

  • @jacketw6855
    @jacketw6855 4 роки тому +5

    This is a valuable speech but if I would look around standing on a bus and I would compliment to a stranger, I guess that would be that cringe situation that the stranger and the other passangers would remember for a long time. Once I did something similar, although not complimenting, but it became a painful regret.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 роки тому +5

      Sometimes you’ll feel self conscious or cringey when you first start. That’s ok, it’s part of the learning process. Even when you are cringey, 99% of the time people just forget about you. You have nothing to lose by being kind 🙂

    • @joshuasihombing8340
      @joshuasihombing8340 2 роки тому

      Are you sure? Are you sure it would be cringe? Are you sure they would remember it for a long time? Are you sure they would even care about you? Sometimes it's about being strong for get rejected, and that's called confidence

  • @coordinator3039
    @coordinator3039 Рік тому

    Here because of someone who made me realize I need a doctor.

  • @MirzaTauqirYoutube
    @MirzaTauqirYoutube 2 роки тому +5

    Million dollar content but only 45k views

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 2 роки тому

      You’re too kind! You can always help by sharing on social media.

  • @ap3433
    @ap3433 2 роки тому

    3:05

  • @paragbharadia2895
    @paragbharadia2895 2 роки тому

    you are god!

  • @kukoburra
    @kukoburra 4 роки тому +2

    isn't it people pleasure mentality?

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 роки тому +2

      Good question! People-pleasing is generally the term used to describe sacrificing your own well-being to make others feel better. I certainly don’t advocate that.
      But I do advocate making people happy whenever it’s feasible for you. After all, what do you have to lose?

    • @TradeEchelon
      @TradeEchelon 10 місяців тому

      @@tomindigo3254 I agree!

  • @HDLitch
    @HDLitch 4 роки тому

    I can do 1 and 2 not 3 though

  • @TheLGNDAslan
    @TheLGNDAslan 4 роки тому +2

    COVID-19 Brought Me Here.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 роки тому +1

      Now that COVID-19 restrictions are lifting, I hope you’ll try flexing your social muscles 🙂

  • @elizabethbanks2074
    @elizabethbanks2074 3 роки тому +3

    The guy seems a little off on stage. Wonder if he’s tried taking an acting class.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 роки тому +1

      Good eye! Truth be told, I was completely off my game that day. Several things behind the scenes took place that made it difficult for me to switch into performance mode. Plus, I was pretty nervous because I built up the idea of a TEDx talk so highly in my head. But I was lucky that the message came across and seemed to benefit my audience.

  • @mazzerdorazio2433
    @mazzerdorazio2433 4 роки тому +3

    The MLM recruiters that hang out in Target watched this video

  • @loombaron
    @loombaron Рік тому

    be bold, not italic

  • @Wally12936
    @Wally12936 6 років тому +1

    First

  • @adventurousone5077
    @adventurousone5077 3 роки тому +1

    Give your life to Jesus Christ. Believe and pray:
    *God, I know I'm a sinner. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, died on the cross for my sins and arose again on the 3rd day. I confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and accept Him as my Savior. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.*
    It's about making a choice. Really believe. Speak it aloud and mean it.

  • @alexplingu4373
    @alexplingu4373 5 років тому +2

    second

  • @triniSOCCERdude1
    @triniSOCCERdude1 3 роки тому

    im sure he was using magic to hit on girls in the street. totaly pick up artist thing...nice! B)

  • @chrishill1800
    @chrishill1800 4 роки тому +3

    Ted talks are so boring