An introvert's guide to social freedom | Kaspars Breidaks | TEDxRiga

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  • Опубліковано 26 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 201

  • @bwabbel
    @bwabbel 2 роки тому +216

    "It's not about you"
    As an overthinking introvert this is the best but also the hardest advice someone has ever told me

  • @nekez2327
    @nekez2327 3 роки тому +422

    1. Say yes to what you feel and think
    2. Be vulnerable
    3. Don’t try to be interesting, be interested/curious
    4. If you want to be appreciated, appreciate others (thank others as often as you can)
    5. It’s not about you, don’t take it personally.

    • @کبلعلی
      @کبلعلی 3 роки тому +26

      Thanks for the advice buff shrek

    • @blitheixgaming1289
      @blitheixgaming1289 3 роки тому +11

      thx shrek, also nice pectoral muscles

    • @tacticalcloud642
      @tacticalcloud642 3 роки тому +3

      Thanks for the spark notes, hakuna matata

    • @silvy925
      @silvy925 3 роки тому +3

      Thanks shreky

    • @bbuser
      @bbuser 2 роки тому +1

      thanks for posting

  • @HaloHighlightz
    @HaloHighlightz 2 роки тому +45

    Tips to train your small talk muscle - without small talk, there is not big talk 9:01
    1. Say yes to what you feel or think (9:07)
    - for anything to happen, we must accept each other’s ideas
    2. We are not machines; it’s okay to be vulnerable (11:17)
    - in trying to protect from the bad, walls also keep out the good
    3. Stop trying to be interesting and be interesting (12:00)
    - make whatever you say worth it by being genuine
    4. If you want to be appreciated, appreciate others (12:56)
    - cherish time and what you create; don’t go an hour without thanking someone
    5. It’s not about you (15:34)
    - if it doesn’t go how you planned, it more than likely has nothing to do with you; they may have something going on

  • @spiralmewtrix
    @spiralmewtrix 5 років тому +63

    The things he talked about have helped me immensely with my shyness as well. I especially try to remember that "it isn't about me" and to not dwell too much on when things don't work out.

  • @Jo_Bond
    @Jo_Bond 5 років тому +720

    Shyness and introversion are two different things. You can be an introvert and not be shy.

    • @joshuah1221
      @joshuah1221 5 років тому +19

      FACTS!!

    • @Mark-xw5yt
      @Mark-xw5yt 5 років тому +64

      And you can be a shy extrovert.

    • @dielicagold
      @dielicagold 5 років тому +71

      But they often go together.

    • @Jo_Bond
      @Jo_Bond 5 років тому +23

      @@dielicagold Not always and maybe it's less obvious if the introvert is outgoing.

    • @stone_pilot
      @stone_pilot 5 років тому +18

      @@Jo_Bond Doesn't 'often go together' imply not always? You're right, of course

  • @ThandekaMalinga
    @ThandekaMalinga 4 роки тому +69

    I started my UA-cam Channel for Introverts and those dealing with Anxiety because as an introvert I believe we need more people talking about introversion and anxiety in order to bring awareness and a sense of normalcy.

    • @-kilian-6217
      @-kilian-6217 4 роки тому +5

      Well, I'm on the way to your channel !

    • @laughwithme3174
      @laughwithme3174 3 роки тому

      amazing good for you thandeka

    • @jasmin27798
      @jasmin27798 3 роки тому

      So true, Awesome! Ill be checking your channel out sis :)

  • @wesleypavon1287
    @wesleypavon1287 2 роки тому +6

    I really loved this!! You don't have an idea about how much I've been struggling with shyness, this was actully life-changing, this a new beginning in my life and thanks for this video!

  • @denise2169
    @denise2169 4 роки тому +27

    Great talk!
    Lessons in improv helped lift me out of my shyness. It was so much fun that I found myself laughing in ways that gave me confidence to let go, take chances and ty new things. Since. Since then, I no longer fear talking to strangers, and the lessons I learned about having fun have changed my life.

  • @temma4173
    @temma4173 5 років тому +24

    Thanks Kaspars, let's keep shining instead of living in shyness ☀️

  • @lavenderandgold8588
    @lavenderandgold8588 Рік тому +2

    "we protect ourselves from the good" that one hit me. all the missed opportunities and relationships i bypassed makes me sad.

  • @yashwanthy9887
    @yashwanthy9887 2 роки тому +1

    "Give your best and dont expect the same".
    I really loved your talk
    thank you very much

  • @harshwithtruth
    @harshwithtruth 2 роки тому

    This line to be grateful for the time and space we have.

  • @pyang264
    @pyang264 4 роки тому +6

    I love this!! Brings so much clarity to my introverted shy quiet personality.

  • @ariettej4271
    @ariettej4271 5 років тому +47

    I really enjoyed this. Quite funny! And great message that I'm sure a lot of us relate to. Pulls me out of my head a little bit and puts things into perspective.

  • @OmegaSwitch
    @OmegaSwitch 5 років тому +41

    I recently signed up for my first improv class after going to my first show and hanging out with the improv crew. As a heavily introverted person, I imagine this will be transformative... o_o

  • @galeno-healthsciencepreven5075
    @galeno-healthsciencepreven5075 5 років тому +26

    Great talk. Living alone is very difficult sometimes. Connection may help create meaning in life.

  • @Silentpartner2176
    @Silentpartner2176 5 років тому +45

    I congratulate you on facing your shyness. I'm glad you said what you did. I still have a ways to go to face mine. I like that you said, I don't do it to change the world, but I do it for me. I needed to hear that.

    • @falandocomluciapsicologa
      @falandocomluciapsicologa Рік тому

      Verdade precisamos fazer por nos mesmos ... Eu tambem ja fui muito , ai resolvi gradativamente mudar isso. Não sou uma pessoa que virou a ser uma contadora de piada mais me transformei numa pessoa que não se preocupa tanto com o julgamento dos outros...

  • @Martina8ify
    @Martina8ify 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and all those valuable tips. The way you presented them was funny and charming, which helps when dealing with such a challenging topic.

  • @nzeakograce1813
    @nzeakograce1813 6 місяців тому +1

    I absolutely loved the introduction

  • @sillygoober698
    @sillygoober698 4 роки тому +11

    I love how this is getting recommended to us all during quarantine lmao

  • @hamakoterapija
    @hamakoterapija 3 роки тому +7

    As an introvert from Lithuania I strongly relate to this talk lol
    I enjoyed it a lot!

  • @MoneyManny103
    @MoneyManny103 4 роки тому +2

    Amazing, thank you...... from today i promise myself to share my powerful positive energy with the rest of the world

  • @Paul-ds6mp
    @Paul-ds6mp 3 роки тому +6

    this was very helpful thank so much. I'm an extreme introvert and this vidéo motivated me to write this

  • @yeshua963
    @yeshua963 2 роки тому +2

    I've made the experience that the most people can't be too long with us introverts because they can't handle the silence and get nervous very quickly. Everytime when I've sat in the coffee shop and people came to my desk they got nervous and left.

  • @yuuri9064
    @yuuri9064 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you for this speech.

  • @dzikrakamila4431
    @dzikrakamila4431 3 роки тому +8

    This is wholesome! Thanks for sharing thiss!!

  • @stevenbrown7852
    @stevenbrown7852 5 років тому +4

    Most excellent thank you I needed this video very much.Introverts indeed suffer and it is a problem.Not YET so much better than NO not at all.Genius video man incredible.

  • @nouhailaarrachi1949
    @nouhailaarrachi1949 Рік тому

    Great thalks ❤
    I will start to day doing theart to fighting my shyness .
    I Will go to talke with each person without thinking so match because we can learn from everyone.

  • @richasaxena6636
    @richasaxena6636 5 років тому +246

    It is such a pain to be an introvert and an HSP to interact with people who do not understand you. Worst is when people ask you personal questions and force you to socialize.

    • @Trade1001
      @Trade1001 4 роки тому +25

      And the constant nagging in your brain about what people are thinking.

    • @David98004
      @David98004 3 роки тому +5

      You should check the Myers Briggs personality test to see if you are indeed an INFJ the rarest personality in the world. Usually INFJ' are highly sensitive and introverted.

    • @alwinw64
      @alwinw64 3 роки тому +8

      No you see, the worst is when you want them to ask personal questions but they don't care and you're too polite to blurt it out 😭

    • @mary-du7sv
      @mary-du7sv 2 роки тому +2

      What is HSP? ( Hello from 2022) : )

    • @xiongly435
      @xiongly435 2 роки тому +1

      @@David98004 that isn't an accurate test :o..O

  • @anthonyr.1568
    @anthonyr.1568 3 роки тому +3

    Paldies for the great tips, Kaspars! I just came back from a trip in your beautiful country and I must say that Latvians are among the unfriendliest nations I've met. Must be hard to grow up as a shy person/introvert in a country where people don't even say hi to a shop clerk and where the smiling rate approximates 0.5%.

  • @godfreykimaro3011
    @godfreykimaro3011 6 місяців тому

    i used to be an antisocial but thanks to him i have changed thanks bro

  • @rayjamesv5641
    @rayjamesv5641 3 роки тому +3

    Wow! Such a wholesome talk.I'm blessed 😍🤩😇😇

  • @MuhammadAsim-ee8gk
    @MuhammadAsim-ee8gk 5 років тому +17

    This is really Excellent speech i,v ever heard i can relate in every experience he share.Peoples who are suffering with Avoident personality disorder and social anxiety can use these tips to come out of their comfort zone and enjoy their lives with meeting new peoples.

  • @miriami7
    @miriami7 5 років тому +2

    Great talk. Thank you very much Kaspars.

  • @mallinen0777
    @mallinen0777 2 роки тому

    Great insights here, Kaspars. Thank You.

  • @mounirhamzi8893
    @mounirhamzi8893 3 роки тому

    This is the best Ted talk ever...and i love this guy

  • @sourov7704
    @sourov7704 Рік тому +1

    Thank you.... Man❤️❤️

  • @achintyabhat9394
    @achintyabhat9394 3 роки тому +1

    I watched it at 1.5x and didn't realize till half of the video was over.

  • @nabilapinontoan7763
    @nabilapinontoan7763 3 роки тому +4

    i was a shy introvert. but i have improved a lot by the time i got in high school, and rn im already in the uni. And we re always told to create wider relations, so bcs the uni it's like a new start for me, i feel like i have to really step out and brace my self up. I always talk to ppl first, i want to make a good impression with new friends i meet in the uni. but im still me, even though i dont have any problem with startin the conversation, or meeting strangers, at some time i will be quiet so much and then my friends would ask me if im being okay. In fact, i dont really have a problem with performing my self in fron tof the ppl too (although sometimes the shyness feeling and anxious are still there, but i can manage it way better). The problem is that i feel so lazy now. i don tknow why, but everytime i'm going to talk to the ppl or performing my self there, i feel so sleepy and lazy in all of a sudden. anyone experiences the sam ething like this?

  • @danielChibuogwu
    @danielChibuogwu Рік тому

    It's not about you 💯💯💯 Love it

  • @browsepulver
    @browsepulver 2 роки тому

    Im doing Improv too, its great to improve social skills. I loved this talk, thank you Kaspar!

  • @1matim
    @1matim Місяць тому

    thank you

  • @amo5143
    @amo5143 3 роки тому +1

    It's possible to get rid of Shyness. Just need to put some extra efforts. Thanks for this amazing talk!

  • @deepgandhi9753
    @deepgandhi9753 4 роки тому +6

    Quite a storyteller he is!

  • @Reverend1138
    @Reverend1138 5 років тому +3

    That really made me think about my perspective when it comes to interacting with folk I don't know. I'd prefer not to but he makes it sound like it just might be ok.

  • @gaby5546
    @gaby5546 2 роки тому +3

    *Anybody else think he looks like Chris Pratt if you squished his head down a little???*
    Great talk though! As an introvert and also sometimes a shy one, when I'm alone I'm the most outgoing, friendly and charming person in my head, but then in real social situations all my eagerness goes out the window.

  • @Mr_someone
    @Mr_someone 2 роки тому +2

    Thankyou

  • @Poetry4Peace
    @Poetry4Peace 2 роки тому

    this was very wise and the tips like how to not take it persoanly as its NOT ABOUT US is something i need to improv and download to ma brainn!

  • @ladygagagh7701
    @ladygagagh7701 4 роки тому +1

    Muchas gracias pa estas informaciones

  • @ilhammahmoud9453
    @ilhammahmoud9453 4 роки тому +1

    great talk men it was so useful thank you and to ted that bring people like you. ♥️

  • @ihsanislam651
    @ihsanislam651 4 роки тому +28

    Shyness and introvert goes hand in hand. Not sure why people making such a distinction between two

    • @superswag3252
      @superswag3252 3 роки тому +8

      Actually yes, shyness makes you an introvert "de facto" because you're more confortable being alone when you're shy

    • @GeIrb1
      @GeIrb1 3 роки тому +18

      Not really. Introversion is just the way you get your energy. Introverts get drained from being around people. Shyness is about not being confident in yourself or to overly concerned with how other people will react.

    • @Noah-zr7zd
      @Noah-zr7zd 3 роки тому +13

      No. Introversion describes how you react to stimuli, like meeting new people, talking in front of an audience etc. It is also closely linked to reactiveness and risk aversion. Depending on your response to certain neurotransmitters, you are introverted or extraverted (or a mixture).
      Shyness is more closely linked to fears, like being rejected or embarrassing yourself.

    • @ihsanislam651
      @ihsanislam651 3 роки тому

      @@Noah-zr7zd hmm interesting take on that, make sense

    • @cevcena6692
      @cevcena6692 3 роки тому

      @@superswag3252 find that most shy people are extraverted because they have the desire to talk to people but just can't

  • @daniel23554
    @daniel23554 5 років тому +2

    Brilliant, thank you.

  • @dimitridehouck9506
    @dimitridehouck9506 4 роки тому +5

    That elevator part gave me 2020 anxiety.

  • @nicholasv7
    @nicholasv7 5 років тому +3

    Great talk!

  • @stormycat5514
    @stormycat5514 5 років тому +13

    I can relate to a lot of the experiences. This is really great!

  • @silvy925
    @silvy925 3 роки тому +1

    Thank u so much for this video. Really was interesting and helped me

  • @candykandy
    @candykandy 4 роки тому +10

    He’s hilarious. I mean, this is informative too but I love the comedy lol

  • @bartcolen
    @bartcolen 3 роки тому +2

    I love the fact that the video guide for introverts begins with an explosion of loud, jarring music and bright, flashing lights.
    The speaker may well understand us, but the video editor perhaps somewhat less so.

  • @Builtlikeagun
    @Builtlikeagun 5 років тому +25

    Title is misleading. This is about shyness, not introversion.

    • @danylooo
      @danylooo 5 років тому +9

      ehh, introversion is a misleading label. Having your energy drained by social interaction is probably caused by fear. Shyness, fear, introversion, social anxiety are all interconnected. Our "over-civilized" mind just slaps a label on the problem and assumes that's just the way things are.

    • @marcnietocachinero
      @marcnietocachinero 5 років тому +1

      @@danylooo You can be an introvert and talk like that man there with all the confidence and you would say it's not a shy person but an introvert one it could be, then what? It just happens introvert people often are also shy because of low social skills. But you can be very confident in social-interactions and be introverted at the same time. Don't talk about something you probably haven't experienced.

    • @danylooo
      @danylooo 5 років тому +1

      @@marcnietocachinero if youre confident/comfortable in social interactions, why would you still feel drained by conversation (ain't this the hallmark of being introverted?)
      Of course there are those heavy conversations that will drain anybody but introverts are supposed to be have their energy drained by all interactions?

    • @Caanze
      @Caanze 5 років тому +2

      @@danylooo I am super confident and comfortable in conversation with friends and even interesting strangers. I got labled an extrovert recently by a shy person. I was surprised, I came across as extroverted because I really really am extremely introverted. I am exhausted and tired after a few hours of great interaction with friends. Give me an hour alone in the woods or at home to recharge and I can keep going a bit longer that day, but the actual interaction times between needs for alone-time get shorter and shorter until I've had some more time to be on my own again.

    • @snoozyq9576
      @snoozyq9576 2 роки тому +1

      ​@@danylooo fear isn't the only draining thing in the world

  • @San_akeh
    @San_akeh 2 роки тому

    This was such a good speech❤️🥰

  • @edwardsbarbara25
    @edwardsbarbara25 5 років тому +1

    Excellent!!

  • @Stegar
    @Stegar 3 роки тому +9

    "Imagine you're at a party..." why? I never go to parties

    • @___MJ____
      @___MJ____ 3 роки тому +3

      Ikr people always want to imagine a party situation, like man I got other things to do.

  • @Dachusttin
    @Dachusttin 2 роки тому

    Phitography good idea,invisible en paeties unico, habla buena idea -teatro improv - "no se trata de vos" - shy != int -
    1. Say yes to what you say and feel, pruoritize yourself
    2. Ok vulnerable [actual insecurity tho]
    3. Interested > interesting
    4.appreciate to be appreciated
    5. Its not about you
    Eventually yes stranger

  • @luciaengel3
    @luciaengel3 5 років тому +1

    Thánk you!!!!

  • @valdie91285
    @valdie91285 5 років тому +42

    This is about shyness, not introversion.

    • @Trade1001
      @Trade1001 4 роки тому +9

      In most cases, it occurs together. The biggest problem an introvert has is lack of social skills. I am an introvert and shy person.

    • @snoozyq9576
      @snoozyq9576 2 роки тому

      ​@@Trade1001 they're two different things. whether they can go together isn't the basis for whether they are different or not

  • @anon6056
    @anon6056 Рік тому

    You're a really beautiful person

  • @saraodoherty6787
    @saraodoherty6787 3 роки тому

    My grandma still advises me not to talk to strangers…perhaps this is why, at 26 I’m still afraid to talk to people I don’t know.

  • @2bagemini
    @2bagemini 3 роки тому +1

    tooth and back pain combined with a bullet in the shoulder…
    sounds like a scandinavian noir…
    from one shy monkey to another… kudos

  • @clara9873
    @clara9873 2 роки тому

    omaga LOOOOOOOVE DIS

  • @estherloidanc
    @estherloidanc 2 роки тому +1

    Introvert can instruct be creative mindful but when teaching engaging that is a different ball game. So standing there speaking is really not tooth ache

  • @Itsgonnabeok4
    @Itsgonnabeok4 2 роки тому

    People are strange when your a stranger

  • @NeelamSingh-mk3lv
    @NeelamSingh-mk3lv 2 роки тому

    Vdo starts at 8:45

  • @prasannab2097
    @prasannab2097 5 років тому +1

    Nice

  • @nazria4375
    @nazria4375 3 роки тому

    ❤️

  • @millerfour2071
    @millerfour2071 3 роки тому

    9:44, 20:50

  • @kittens3029
    @kittens3029 2 роки тому

    Nice intro

  • @blaydes4612
    @blaydes4612 2 роки тому +1

    This confuses introversion with social anxiety

  • @ShaneAus
    @ShaneAus 4 роки тому +1

    Thought thumb nail was Chris Pratt

  • @Kukezh
    @Kukezh 5 років тому

    Labs! :)

  • @OGS2002
    @OGS2002 2 роки тому

    I’m so unlucky I’m a introvert and 6’3 I grew my dreads to get the attention off me

  • @haksseupjjanehal1186
    @haksseupjjanehal1186 3 роки тому +1

    Introvert ✋✋

    • @iqrakhano7618
      @iqrakhano7618 3 роки тому +1

      Me too with high level of shyness

  • @jason3775
    @jason3775 4 роки тому

    Hit home.

  • @zodammit
    @zodammit 5 років тому +6

    You mean you talk to people in person using mouth-words??? How quaint.

  • @SauceyNoodle
    @SauceyNoodle 5 років тому +3

    0:34 uh oh stinky

  • @purplememe
    @purplememe 3 роки тому

    17:46 🌈

  • @-trolling-6680
    @-trolling-6680 5 років тому +4

    This speach is taken from "How to win friends and influence people"😘

  • @pawansharma27
    @pawansharma27 4 роки тому +1

    He looks like rahul Gandhi 😂😂🇮🇳🇮🇳

  • @CRYPTONIC47
    @CRYPTONIC47 4 роки тому +2

    U r shy not introvert 🙁🙁🙁

  • @alix6553
    @alix6553 5 років тому +1

    Here too early

  • @manishkushwaha7060
    @manishkushwaha7060 2 роки тому

    He is certainly not an introvert now 😅

  • @visisuni11
    @visisuni11 5 років тому +2

    Ir par ko padomát

  • @초코0w0
    @초코0w0 5 років тому +1

    ..

  • @Stirofechos
    @Stirofechos 2 роки тому +1

    BORING

  • @blackpantsog
    @blackpantsog 4 роки тому

    Thank you!

  • @veronikavebere2522
    @veronikavebere2522 5 років тому +1

    Fantastic!

  • @bklynsteph66
    @bklynsteph66 Рік тому

    ❤️