As a dumpee, the only reason we go passive on an ex is dont forget that they are the one who dumped you. We dont owe them anything. Specially when your ex is still in a new “real” relationship and suddenly checks on you? What for? Keeping tabs? Why do they even wanna talk if they are still in a rebound relationship right?
Hi Norrona, Thanks for the feedback and we made adjustments in our new videos. I hope it sounds better as compared to those of the past days. :-) Thanks for watching out videos as well.
I'm subscribed to your channel and have seen most of the videos during the past 8 months and you always do a good job of explaining things in a non-judgmental way and you are sincere as well. After watching a video of yours, I usually walk away feeling more calm and balanced. I usually learn something new, but even if I don't learn anything new, just hearing you calmly discuss things that are very emotional topics, makes me feel better and realize that I'm doing so much better than I was 1,2, or 5 years ago. Your advice has helped me greatly too. You do a great service and help many people, so please keep up the good work and enjoy yourself, and you'll get more followers than you ever expected. 👍👍✌
Clay, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video. It's clarified so much for me. This has been an emotionally crippling experience in my life. My ex and I are divorced, and share 3 toddlers together, but we are so in love, and have been on a journey that I could write a best-selling novel over. You just touched on exactly what I needed to hear! Wish me luck! I love this man more than life itself!
By the time my ex boyfriend and his rebound break up I will be with someone else. He’s taking too long. It’s been 2 months with his rebound and I’m getting over him now. I’m not waiting for him to realize what he lost.
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
Hey clay, love your videos, but the audio sounds really bad in the last few vids, as if it's to loud or if the mic is oversaturated, could be the youtube quality.
This is superior advice, this is really going to help shift things for us, for sure. The only thing is, I have all my own concerns and doubts, but I don't see him taking responsibility or realising his part in things. But maybe I have to make the first step...his main complaints in the relationship were he didn't feel validated or heard... I've definitely done the work and feel I can do that. Maybe that's why he reached out yesterday to say "You were such an asshole to me. I can't believe I put up with that." Maybe he wants me to show him I've changed... hmm. Maybe I should try to connect with him emotionally about it, show the empathy and understanding... This was after it was going really well, and then I didn't reach out for 3 weeks, as he probably expected me to. 'Cause I initiated 4 times, and didn't want to chase or be the only one making myself vulnerable. Maybe he finds being invulnerable/blaming the easiest and safest thing to do. He can't sort of say he wants to talk, just says I was an asshole, lol. Not very helpful, but I'm trying to do the emotional translation... This is tough, but damnit Clay you have inspired me to keep trying... I've worked so hard on this/myself for 6 months now. I want to see what's on the other side of all this anger/hurt. I'm going to reach out to him soon.
I actually would really appreciate if you could make a follow up video to this addressing how WE are feeling in trying to get our exes back and why this is even worth it. Like, they hurt us too. They screwed up too. They might not be apologising or taking responsibility. So sometimes I'm like why even try? If he's just selfishly expecting me to take the blame for everything and make everything easy for him after HE broke up with me. Then again, I was definitely expressing desires to end things or 'take a break' - it just got too much... but I guess he pulled the trigger. It's sad because this past 6 months, I've been holding such lovely thoughts about him, keeping faith, doing so much inner work, and here he is 6 months on calling me an asshole! Like, WOW! Move on from the past already! Anyway, I feel like I'm struggling to see WHY I should keep trying/waiting/hoping anymore.
Ahh, listening to your other videos has helped me answer this... Wow, to be honest I think your advice is actually really helping me to mature. I was going to ignore him, but now I just gotta reach out man, and show him the work I've actually done!!! Going to totally HEAR HIM and validate his FEELINGS!!! Without an agenda!!
OH MY GOD! I messaged him and we had a 5 hour phone call!!!!! I took all of your advice, and by the end he was crying, saying he felt so stupid and vulnerable and disarmed. He didn't want the convo to end, but I left it at the peak of it, yay!! WOWWW you are amazing clay, thank you so much! I want to tip you!
Hey this video is good! Tbh we aren't moving since my ex now is in relationship but it seems like my ex is comparing me a lot to her current one like she always find ways to say her partner is better than me and I was like 'woaah chill' lmao
You can check this video playlist >> ua-cam.com/video/8pM1PxNaYBI/v-deo.html Or check the Ex Solution Program course to learn more in-depth about the Advanced Relational Skills. I hope this helps. :-)
Hi clay thanks for your knowledgeable videos!! My ex and I are in contact. Been having really good interactions. We even kiss eachother on the cheek whenever we meet up. I initiate it but she reciprocated without hesitation. She told me she dosnt like to kiss on the lips because it confuses her. My question is... how can I tell the difference between riding the dragon and crisis stage? She dosnt act cold but she dosnt initiate meeting up or say she misses me or wants to get back together.
I went back to see my ex who I broke up with after 5yrs. First night had good visit and he wanted to get intimate and then ask me why I got intimate with him but I couldnt tell him then I was still in love with him. Second night a women called and he said she was trying to keep us from being intimate. He didnt tell me about her and I dont understand what he was doing?
Yes, so true. And in the relationship also, he just felt like i wasn't listening to his concerns or understanding them. Mine were above his. So how exactly should i make him feel like i do understand him then? He also tells me.. to focus on my growth, self identity and stuff. I just wonder if he wants me to be like that..and then he can take me back??🥺
My ex said the exact same thing and I have the same questions as you...we are friends and he says things that confuses me, but I'm slowly just going with the flow...he is also working on himself and we have days were we dont talk, and I miss him soo much, but I give him his space til he reaches out to me
Its been a week since my boyfriend broke up with me because his parents won't approve of our relationship. We've been together since 2 years. Please help me here. Will he ever come back to me? He is not happy with the decision we had to make.
Hi Sue, thanks for sharing your concern. First, we have to understand that what we can control in this situation is just us and not the other person. If the person is emotionally unavailable, there could be several core reasons why he felt that way. Though we may not be able to change someone to become emotionally unavailable, but you have to check with your 5 x5 list if the person that you are trying to get back with is aligned with your personal values.
He is a good man and we have so many common interest. His ex wife abandoned him and left him with the kids. He has anxiety and depression too. All I can is try and reach out once in awhile. He told me he has walls up and he is shut down. The you for your response. I love your style.
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
Im literally going through this right now!! We broke up 2 weeks ago got back in contact 1 week ago. She responds to texts and we laugh and joke and abit of flirting shes asking how i am now instead of saying i hope youre well. but sometimes i can wait hours for a response. Im trying to get a call with her or a meet up but theres always an excuse... what do i do clay??? We broke up because i became needy and overbearing because of other stuff in my life
Is it too late for me? We were connecting until she sort of called me out and said it's not the right time for us to date, and we havent spoken to each other for two weeks now? Am I boned to try and connect with her now?
Well my ex is still dating her 2 month old rebound but everyday she visit me for 3hrs we flirt and even invite me to her house what does it mean is she slowly coming back to me
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
@Clay Andrews My ex said he wants to get together slowly. I just started to talk to him again about a month ago and he told me wants to get back together about a week ago but I haven't seen him since we talked. I don't know what is normal when getting back together slowly? He said he doesn't want to take it fast paced like we did the first time.
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
Great video but I think you’re a bit too close to your mic, your last few videos have weird, like almost too loud/distortion sound? at a lower volume on our end
You hit the nail on the head in terms of what i'm experiencing exactly! My ex is moving so slow I sometimes feel discouraged by it
Same
Unfortunately Sometimes you just have to let go and move on it’s to draining
It’s only draining if it’s not worth it.
Men. Clay is good! Speaking from experience. Don’t chase a woman. Don’t smother her. Let her come to you.
As a dumpee, the only reason we go passive on an ex is dont forget that they are the one who dumped you. We dont owe them anything. Specially when your ex is still in a new “real” relationship and suddenly checks on you? What for? Keeping tabs? Why do they even wanna talk if they are still in a rebound relationship right?
The sound in the latest videos crackles a bit. But awesome content. Was really relevant to my situation.
Hi Norrona, Thanks for the feedback and we made adjustments in our new videos. I hope it sounds better as compared to those of the past days. :-) Thanks for watching out videos as well.
Wow I was in such need of this today! A sign from the universe not to give up for sure!
God*
I'm subscribed to your channel and have seen most of the videos during the past 8 months and you always do a good job of explaining things in a non-judgmental way and you are sincere as well. After watching a video of yours, I usually walk away feeling more calm and balanced. I usually learn something new, but even if I don't learn anything new, just hearing you calmly discuss things that are very emotional topics, makes me feel better and realize that I'm doing so much better than I was 1,2, or 5 years ago. Your advice has helped me greatly too. You do a great service and help many people, so please keep up the good work and enjoy yourself, and you'll get more followers than you ever expected. 👍👍✌
Clay, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video. It's clarified so much for me. This has been an emotionally crippling experience in my life. My ex and I are divorced, and share 3 toddlers together, but we are so in love, and have been on a journey that I could write a best-selling novel over. You just touched on exactly what I needed to hear! Wish me luck! I love this man more than life itself!
Divorced and in love makes no sense.
Great topic, much appreciated! You're a God send!My ex is crawling...lol
Glad to help. ;-)
By the time my ex boyfriend and his rebound break up I will be with someone else. He’s taking too long. It’s been 2 months with his rebound and I’m getting over him now. I’m not waiting for him to realize what he lost.
Always enjoy. 😊🔥🌹
I needed this today. Thank you wow.
wow great video quality!!!
I'm glad you like it :-)
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
Whatsazzz him 📥👆
When the ex bf is on Dating apps but has no time to text you and yet wanting you back. How to deal with that shit?
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤
+1 (3 6 1) 2 0 1--3 0 6 4❤
Clay your videos are spot on. Was wondering if there is ever a good time to talk about the past and when that moment might be
Thumbs up Clay. Greetings to you (still/yet from Germany)
Awesome, thank you!
Hey clay, love your videos, but the audio sounds really bad in the last few vids, as if it's to loud or if the mic is oversaturated, could be the youtube quality.
YES!!! I feel like this is what I asked for! Excellent, thank you, Clay!
This is superior advice, this is really going to help shift things for us, for sure. The only thing is, I have all my own concerns and doubts, but I don't see him taking responsibility or realising his part in things. But maybe I have to make the first step...his main complaints in the relationship were he didn't feel validated or heard... I've definitely done the work and feel I can do that. Maybe that's why he reached out yesterday to say "You were such an asshole to me. I can't believe I put up with that." Maybe he wants me to show him I've changed... hmm. Maybe I should try to connect with him emotionally about it, show the empathy and understanding... This was after it was going really well, and then I didn't reach out for 3 weeks, as he probably expected me to. 'Cause I initiated 4 times, and didn't want to chase or be the only one making myself vulnerable. Maybe he finds being invulnerable/blaming the easiest and safest thing to do. He can't sort of say he wants to talk, just says I was an asshole, lol. Not very helpful, but I'm trying to do the emotional translation... This is tough, but damnit Clay you have inspired me to keep trying... I've worked so hard on this/myself for 6 months now. I want to see what's on the other side of all this anger/hurt. I'm going to reach out to him soon.
I actually would really appreciate if you could make a follow up video to this addressing how WE are feeling in trying to get our exes back and why this is even worth it. Like, they hurt us too. They screwed up too. They might not be apologising or taking responsibility. So sometimes I'm like why even try? If he's just selfishly expecting me to take the blame for everything and make everything easy for him after HE broke up with me. Then again, I was definitely expressing desires to end things or 'take a break' - it just got too much... but I guess he pulled the trigger. It's sad because this past 6 months, I've been holding such lovely thoughts about him, keeping faith, doing so much inner work, and here he is 6 months on calling me an asshole! Like, WOW! Move on from the past already! Anyway, I feel like I'm struggling to see WHY I should keep trying/waiting/hoping anymore.
Ahh, listening to your other videos has helped me answer this... Wow, to be honest I think your advice is actually really helping me to mature. I was going to ignore him, but now I just gotta reach out man, and show him the work I've actually done!!! Going to totally HEAR HIM and validate his FEELINGS!!! Without an agenda!!
OH MY GOD! I messaged him and we had a 5 hour phone call!!!!! I took all of your advice, and by the end he was crying, saying he felt so stupid and vulnerable and disarmed. He didn't want the convo to end, but I left it at the peak of it, yay!! WOWWW you are amazing clay, thank you so much! I want to tip you!
Glad it was helpful!
Hey this video is good! Tbh we aren't moving since my ex now is in relationship but it seems like my ex is comparing me a lot to her current one like she always find ways to say her partner is better than me and I was like 'woaah chill' lmao
He’s a rebound
@@hawkcityent1184 And I am lowkey losing my cool ://
My ex will only answer the texts he wants to most of the time he don't answer me
It means pump your brakes.
Where is the advanced relationship skills link?
You can check this video playlist >> ua-cam.com/video/8pM1PxNaYBI/v-deo.html
Or check the Ex Solution Program course to learn more in-depth about the Advanced Relational Skills.
I hope this helps. :-)
Why does my ex unblock and block me ?
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤
+1 (3 6 1) 2 0 1--3 0 6 4❤
I adore your tie! :D
Thank you! 😊
Is it wise to continue or start no contact during this slow phase?
You mic leveling is too loud it sounds like very loud at some parts
Hi clay thanks for your knowledgeable videos!!
My ex and I are in contact. Been having really good interactions. We even kiss eachother on the cheek whenever we meet up. I initiate it but she reciprocated without hesitation. She told me she dosnt like to kiss on the lips because it confuses her. My question is... how can I tell the difference between riding the dragon and crisis stage? She dosnt act cold but she dosnt initiate meeting up or say she misses me or wants to get back together.
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤
I went back to see my ex who I broke up with after 5yrs. First night had good visit and he wanted to get intimate and then ask me why I got intimate with him but I couldnt tell him then I was still in love with him. Second night a women called and he said she was trying to keep us from being intimate. He didnt tell me about her and I dont understand what he was doing?
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤
+1 (3 6 1) 2 0 1--3 0 6 4❤
Sounds like it might be someone he was sleeping with
Yes, so true. And in the relationship also, he just felt like i wasn't listening to his concerns or understanding them. Mine were above his. So how exactly should i make him feel like i do understand him then? He also tells me.. to focus on my growth, self identity and stuff. I just wonder if he wants me to be like that..and then he can take me back??🥺
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤
+1 (3 6 1) 2 0 1--3 0 6 4❤
My ex said the exact same thing and I have the same questions as you...we are friends and he says things that confuses me, but I'm slowly just going with the flow...he is also working on himself and we have days were we dont talk, and I miss him soo much, but I give him his space til he reaches out to me
@@rosalanda4374j
Its been a week since my boyfriend broke up with me because his parents won't approve of our relationship. We've been together since 2 years.
Please help me here. Will he ever come back to me?
He is not happy with the decision we had to make.
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤
+1 (3 6 1) 2 0 1--3 0 6 4❤
Can buy any of your courses problem with checking out, and do your videos apply to emotionally unavailable men? When they have walls up and shut down?
Hi Sue, thanks for sharing your concern. First, we have to understand that what we can control in this situation is just us and not the other person. If the person is emotionally unavailable, there could be several core reasons why he felt that way. Though we may not be able to change someone to become emotionally unavailable, but you have to check with your 5 x5 list if the person that you are trying to get back with is aligned with your personal values.
He is a good man and we have so many common interest. His ex wife abandoned him and left him with the kids. He has anxiety and depression too. All I can is try and reach out once in awhile. He told me he has walls up and he is shut down. The you for your response. I love your style.
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯❣❣????
Whatsazzz him 👆📥
Im literally going through this right now!! We broke up 2 weeks ago got back in contact 1 week ago. She responds to texts and we laugh and joke and abit of flirting shes asking how i am now instead of saying i hope youre well. but sometimes i can wait hours for a response. Im trying to get a call with her or a meet up but theres always an excuse... what do i do clay??? We broke up because i became needy and overbearing because of other stuff in my life
Is it too late for me? We were connecting until she sort of called me out and said it's not the right time for us to date, and we havent spoken to each other for two weeks now? Am I boned to try and connect with her now?
Well my ex is still dating her 2 month old rebound but everyday she visit me for 3hrs we flirt and even invite me to her house what does it mean is she slowly coming back to me
We cannot say that she is fully coming back but it can be a good opportunity for both of you to work on building positive connection.
@@ClayAndrews thank you
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯❣❣???
@Clay Andrews My ex said he wants to get together slowly. I just started to talk to him again about a month ago and he told me wants to get back together about a week ago but I haven't seen him since we talked. I don't know what is normal when getting back together slowly? He said he doesn't want to take it fast paced like we did the first time.
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯❣❣??
Whatsazzz him 👆📥
Simple, she’s seeing someone else. Move on.
Great video but I think you’re a bit too close to your mic, your last few videos have weird, like almost too loud/distortion sound? at a lower volume on our end
So that's why she's trying to stay connected to me on Facebook on one of her other accounts.... And why she hasn't been talking or said anything....?
Hey man! My ex won't get out of the past and holds me to who I was six months ago when we broke up... She won't see my changes. Thoughts?
The audio has degraded a lot for the past few videos. Mic change?
Yeah, it must be the mic so we are trying to make some adjustments. :-)
I think i have a Bingo. All three Things apply😅