In the first video you showed us snippets of the letter your daughter wrote to you. She wrote that she felt guilt tripped and gas-lit by you all her life. In the same video you said that she is the most caring, loving and empathetic person. Not someone who would ‘dump’ her mother for no reason. There will be no healing for you unless you acknowledge your part in her need to leave. And that goes for most of the parents here. There will be no healing if it’s all the other persons fault. It’s freeing and healing to truly see your own faults. This probably will get people mad, but I hope some will understand.
What you don't understand is many parents have apologized and asked for forgiveness which their children have rejected and opted to punish. This generation was raised soft not like my generation, I never abandoned my parents for harsh or strict parenting, as I had children I realized how difficult parenting is especially with teenagers, we weren't raised with influence from the internet which I believe is the main reason for estrangment of parents in today's soceity. Remember when you assume you make an ass of u and me. Ass/u/me.
@@estrangedparents I have seen your grieving process and I have gone through it along side of you , these heartless hateful comments people make are so bizarre.
Extremally priviliged comment section. Everyone is to blame: society, new technology and estranged child or the significant other, but never the parent. The parent maybe made some mistakes, which is immediately followed by there is no "perfect" parent nor "perfect" child. The issue being that imperfect child is in the developmental phase of their life and still making sense of the world, while imperfect parent is a fully formed adult, who should know better. You will say things like "this generation is soft", while you are the ones who cannot accept the fact that you messed up and now you will bear the consequences of your previous actions. Simple "sorry" will not be enough for some people who endured whole childhood of abuse.
@estrangedparents Based on the fact that the whole comment section of estranged parents will much rather discuss the secret cabal of big pharma, psych professionals, college culture and government agencies instead of admiting their own wrongdoings.
No parent is perfect; that’s true. But it is shockingly easy to *respect* your children. They may not have as much experience as an adult, but their feelings and opinions are still valid. They still matter. My children are not my property- I have a stewardship over them until they’re old enough to set out on their own. Their lives are THEIRS. One of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made was to remove my father and his wife from our lives. I miss my dad every single day, but the decision was the right one because he was incapable of treating anyone like a person. We were all his belongings. We existed to make him look good. Our feelings and opinions didn’t matter, because “he was the father, and we were the children,” even after we were in our 30s. And when I had my daughter, I knew. I knew if we stayed around my father, she would learn to allow people to abuse and degrade her, because that’s what my dad did to me. I knew she’d develop an incredibly wrong sense of being responsible for the feelings of others. I knew she’d go through all the abuse and damage that I did- all at the hands of my father. Sometimes leaving your parents is the right thing to do. If we don’t want our children to cut us out of their lives? Be the parent that doesn’t get cut out. Respect them and their feelings. Own your mistakes and apologize. Teach your kids by example that it’s ok to admit when you’re wrong. And let your kids be who they are… not who you want them to be.
@@estrangedparents Did you even try though? I've watched most of your videos and I'm reminded of my own estranged parents with no actual remorse. You publicize your own estrangement and use your broken relationship with your daughter as a hook for views and subscriber counts. If you wanted to fix anything you'd have actually stepped down from the pedestal you seem to live on and thought "Hm, maybe an honest effort to find out why they feel this way would help". Nope, instead it's disparaging youtube content for a middling channel. They'll end up in some public funded nursing home probably. Couldn't even tell you if they're alive or not. My life is better for it.
Diane, when are you going to read the entire letter your daughter sent to you regarding why she went no contact? All we ever got was your oversimplification of her complex and long letter, I'd love to know the full list of reasons as to why she left you
@estrangedparents You've already shared everything else, wouldn't hurt much to share that too. But I have a sneaking suspicion it will hurt. And you know that if everyone heard your daughters side of the story, they'd choose hers over yours 🤣
@@estrangedparents It’s not about entitlement for most people; it’s about what the channel symbolizes. People come here for insights on healing and understanding both sides of estrangement. Sharing more from the letter could support the channel’s mission, helping others to see the complexity of these situations. To foster healing to community and to the self.
I find it hard to believe that your children dont want to have anything to do with you because of THEIR choices. The bond between a mother and her child is the strongest bond of all. Children rarely CHOOSE to leave, even in terribly abusive relationships, the child still will want to please a parent. Its so sad. If a quasi meditation is your solution to relieving yourself of shame, i believe the shallowness and selfishness with which you have chosen to conduct yourself has given the viewers a peak into your mindset. Incredible.
most of the kids doing this have involved themselves with collegiate disability lifestyle It’s not a new concept but this is the first generation to take it to such popular levels … so there are more instigators and more followers and more who have been bullied into it by instigators and followers It’s a way for them to get inappropriate attention, preferential treatment in classes, welfare, medical insurance, disability pay checks to pay rent at group home LLCs with others on the same collegiate disability lifestyle trip They aren’t ‘tennents’ they are ‘clients’ so they don’t come under tennant landlord law … They don’t have to adult much as they are usually only paying for a private or semi private room All is honky dory with their new faux family …until it’s not …because it’s not sustainable
You need to do some research. 25% of adult children are fully estranged from their parents and a large majority of what's left is semi eatranged. Law offices are scrambling to hire lawyers to handle grandparents visitation rights. Counselors are encouraging adult children to go no contact without bringing in the parent to discuss. That has a lot to do with it right there. It can be a simple as you voted for the wrong presidential candidate, you're in the wrong political party, you said such and such 20 years ago and even though I never heard you say it again well you did say it 20 years ago. It's nuts.
Some children change because of their spouses my son got everything he needed in life , very loved but when he became married he was made to choose, when they had first baby things got more distant nobody did anything to him, so things aren't always black or white
@@dfab2486 There’s a long history of collegiate disability lifestyle In the 80s the pop culture term ‘professional student’ was popular slang. There’s also the ‘perpetual student’ and the ‘career student’ all referring to a variety of reasons why a person would end up making a collegiate lifestyle and then possibly a disability collegiate lifestyle …I’ve known several people who engaged in professional student collegiate disability lifestyle over multiple generations so I know how it’s been variously done over the years The difference is that since the advent of social media the concept has become so popularized it’s now practically a lifestyle choice Most parents don’t raise their children to aspire to a collegiate disability lifestyle because most parents don’t even know there’s a collegiate disability lifestyle and that whole industries have grown up around it It’s a lifestyle that’s not wholesomely logisticly sustainable, and that’s where the crunch comes in To get into the lifestyle is one thing -to perpetuate the lifestyle is another-and life after the lifestyle is something else Some of the kids experimented with drugs, alcohol and sex unbeknownst or known to their parents while on their first time away from home at school Some of those students ended up calling 911 which required them to be psychologically evaluated, which inserted them into the group therapy and meds system Some couldn’t or wouldn’t behave in class appropriately and were referred for scholastic learning disability evaluation Some didn’t have required classes and were referred for required testing for scholastic evaluation then learning disability evaluation And some had other legitimate pre-existing severe disability All those paths can lead to group therapy and meds and applying for disability benefits for anyone 18 or over -all with or without parental knowledge or permission and there are whole industries relying on it. College towns have Section 8 homes near campuses and Group Home LLCs and some campuses now even have apartment complexes assigned for disabled living that students now on disability can choose from. In some states there are specific demographics that have parents who ‘fight for disability diagnosis’ so their children can receive preferential treatment unbeknownst to parents who would abhor such an idea … The demographics that ‘fight for disability diagnosis’ for their own children often overstep their bounds with other people’s children, as do their children in the lifestyle who overstep their bounds with peers, creating an inappropriate culture around collegiate disability lifestyle The collegiate disability lifestyle is a fantasy life for a while until the logistics are required to change due to patient/student status and financial and benefits updates And that’s where it’s a house of cards and all falls down but the student patient advocates keep trying to shore it up inappropriately.
Its unfortunate that he is not strong enough to tell his wife there is no choice to be made. If he is controlled by her, he may have married a woman with whom he felt comfortable with. Repeating his upbringing perhaps. Or maybe its easier for you to blame her instead of taking responsibility. Some things cant be undone.
There's literally hundreds of people reposting your videos. Dissecting them for hours. Each video has thousands of comments. It's not pretty. You have become the poster child of crazy estranged parents. They are using you as a text book example of narcissistic parenting. You have nothing to gain from this. If you truly love your daughter you need to let it go.
@@estrangedparents I am curious. Are you trying to help estranged parents or adults that went no contract. It seems like you created a support group for estranged parents. However your videos are being used to validate adults going no contact with their abusive parents. A couple videos come off as parodies of extreme examples. So I'm just curious if you are helping or hurting your cause. Maybe it's just venting that went too far because you got likes. Fascinating either way. Thanks.
@@estrangedparents That we are a bunch of traumatized kids. That it's normalize to not regard someone's needs or mental issues and to get out unpunished, that people like you can do whatever they want, and still be on the internet, saying this sort of things. That's our society.
Letting go is difficult when your an estranged child because I still communicate with mum and I know dad's in the same room as her, but I'm disowned to him. I'm no longer his son, I'm never welcome in his life again. So at Xmas time I'll have to do a video call to the family and he'll be there but I'm dead to him. So I guess he just won't say hello or something. It upsets me that I know his unwillingness to attempt anything to fix things is hurting mum. It's been 4 months since he disowned me, because I stood up to him yelling. I decided to show him what he looks like when he yells and he didn't like the mirror image. I've tried everything to fix it. I tried saying sorry for my part in the arguments, he wouldn't let me say sorry, mum heard him say this, I've written apology letters, I wrote him a Father's Day message on his Facebook wall with no response. My birthdays at the end of November, I guess that will be a chance for him to show his true colours. I guess I should just chill until then and see what happens. Just venting. Thanks for your channel, it helps alot. Peace, Matt.
Matt, thank you for sharing your perspective in a completely different situation. You can't control your father, he's made his choice, I really don't see any other way to heal than to let go with love and move on with your life. Your mom is also doing the best she can in a difficult situation, and she will have her own healing journey around this. Yes, the Zoom call will be awkward, but just knowing that going in, prepping for it as best you can, and allowing yourself the grace to process all the painful emotions that come out of that encounter is really the best you can do. You are grieving the loss of your father, the father you hoped to have but isn't... It's not so different from parents grieving the loss of estranged children still alive. As long as one person refuses to speak to another, there can be no relationship repair. So the best you can do is make peace with that in your own heart (which isn't easy), but hopefully this video series can help get you started. I wish you all the best on your healing journey... 💕
I'm a Gen X in my 50's and probably in the same age group as many of you. And I want you all to keep in mind that we grew up in a time when there was little to no awareness about mental disorders compared to what it is today. This means that we were the last generation growing up with undiagnosed mental disorders like ADHD, ASD, ASPD, BPD, NPD, OCD, PTSD, Bipolar, Depression, and Anxiety. And many from our generation have still not been diagnosed and will never be. If your adult children say there is something wrong with you, they might be wrong, but they also might be right. You see, the thing with mental disorders when you have lived with it your whole life, is that you have no chance to know if something wrong with you, because YOUR "normal" is the only normal you know. I thought I was normal, too, until I got diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago and with the help of medicine experienced something close to how a "normal" brain function. I've also known for years that I used to have some quite nasty narcissistic traits when I was younger. And lo and behold, it turns out that ADHD and comorbid ADHD/Cluster-B runs in our family with a few cases in every generation. Nobody knew these things when we grew up. If disaster happened when we were kids, we were simply shipped to the hospital to have our limbs fixed with no psychological or psychiatric follow-up at all. PTSD was a diagnose reserved for the military personnel, while children were believed to forget everything they suffered if nobody talked about it. And it took me 40 years to discover that my anxiety attacks and nightmares were sensory trauma responses caused by a train crash when I was 5. My children's father was diagnosed with mixed NPD/ASPD in his late 40's. We lived together for 16 years trying to be good parents while screwing up the childhood for our own children. We simply had no clue that we were both born with pathological mental disorders. I can only say from the depth of my heart, that nobody except from my children has the right to judge how I am and was as their mother, not even I can claim to know. Why? Because I have never been my own son or daughter. Only my children can define my successes and failures as their mother since they are the only ones who have experienced it. And I have no right to neither deny or disect their experiences as right or wrong. We all want to be good parents, and we might believe we ARE good parents, but only our children KNOW if we are good parents. And if we deem them to be unreasonable and ill behaved against us, it might be true, but even then we must keep in mind that we were the ones who raised them.
@@naiva yes but you say yourself people are born with these issues. I don’t think it’s a good message to teach children to blame parents for their character.
@@karlynfinnegan2333 It's not about blame, it's about self protection. The reason they disconnect is because they do care about their parents. To be emotionally hurt by a parent is much more painful than feeling hurt by others, and this hurt can be overwhelming. It can take so much toll on their mental health, that they need to disconnect in order to function in their day-to-day life. I know this is hard to understand, but parents who always feels sorry for themselves and need everyone to consider their emotional needs at all times, are really difficult to be around. In fact, it lands under what is called "emotional abuse" when parents lean on their children for emotional support and play on their children's guilt and shame to manipulate them into serving their own emotional needs. Children should not be responsible for their parents, neither financially or emotionally. It's extremely rare for children to disconnect from mentally well functioning parents that are able to provide a family life where their children feel safe, loved, and respected. Of course, during puberty most kids disconnect from their parents to a certain degree in order to prepare themselves mentally to become self-sufficient adults. That's a biological mechanism. They need to find reasons to move out of their parents' house and begin their own journey to build their own life and have their own family. This also makes it important to have parents who don't break down emotionally or burst out in anger every time there is a disagreement. During these periods, a parent must be the adult in the room and show a greater degree of calm and willingness to listen instead of judging. My children's father was very difficult to handle due to his NPD/ASPD. He was very ill, and I had to teach our kids to disregard his guilt tripping, his drama, his lies, and his attacks. I had to educate myself on his personality disorder to be able to help them differentiate between normal father behavior and behavior caused by his illness. I also had to repeat over and over again that they were not responsible for his well-being. They constantly had to navigate between not being too distant and not being too close, because as soon as he got a wiff that he was in control, he would constantly call them and make them run his errands. He even stole all our son's savings at some point. When he was dying over a period of a few months, I had to tell our kids not to visit him at the hospital unless they felt they had the strength and energy to do so. And I even told them not to pick up the phone every time he called. We had to take turns to see him and I was there most of the time and talked to him almost every day to give them some relief (it was almost 10 years after I had left him). I also said to him it was me who had told them to keep their distance when they needed a break, because then I made it my fault instead of theirs. Children are utterly and completely dependent on their parents (or caretakers) for their survival. When a parent gets angry it's a direct threat to their survival on a deep biological and instinctual level. Children are basically forced to please their parents for the sake of their own survival. Hurting children physically, mentally or emotionally actually create damages to the neuro pathways in their brain. It can deeply damage their mental health for the rest of their lives. If they constantly feel threatened emotionally or mentally as children, it can cause PTSD. Lack of safety during childhood is highly traumatic, because if parents leave their children, their children will die. Threatening to abandon them is a threat to their life. And if they feel unwanted, it's literally the same as a threat of abandonment. When children feel they have to please their parents in order to be loved and wanted, they suffer a constant threat of abandonment and possible death. This is how serious it actually is when parents are unable to take responsibility for their own emotions, needs and wants, and then make their children responsible for pleasing their parents. Sorry for writing too much. It's a topic that hits me really hard because I know how hard it has been on my own children to deal with these things. It was extremely hard for them to accept that the death of their own father was also a relief, while their grief was the loss of the father they had always wanted but could never have because of his mental illness. Of course my children don't blame their father for being ill. But they had to prioritise their own mental health first. They too suffer mental health issues because of him. When I read some of the comments by some of the parents in here, I recognise the same patterns you find in NPD and BPD. It sometimes culminates into a war of words between grieving parents who feel left behind and the younger generation who have left theirs. And with all due respect, these "kids" are not wrong. It is not their responsibility to keep their parents happy.
I love your leting go with love rather then self pity or anger , as long as they are happy and healthy , what more could we ask for ?? Some parents visit their children in jail , hospitals , institutions or their graves or have missing children , so we are lucky , they are their own people after all !
So important! I think we each need to define what letting go looks like. In my case, I will NEVER stop praying for change in my family. I will not do eastern meditation as a way to cope. God has promised my family's reunification and to Him I cling. He IS PEACE.
Amen! I am leaning on my faith too. I don't expect a reconciliation but if it happens I would not want it unless she changes, as she was very abusive and controlling. I stood up to her and that's why she has gone silent, so yes I would like to have us work it out but not on HER terms. i would rather be estranged if it's that way, as life was like walking on egg shells around her and her expecting to be treated like a spoiled princess! Not going to happen any more. God bless you.
Nothing wrong with prayer. Just substitute her phrase "meditation" for your own prayers. I pray for a reconciliation as well but I live my life as if it won't happen.🙏
@missanthropy5808 that's good. Except where is faith? Faith pleases God (Hebrews 11:6) If your prayers have no hope or faith in their fulfillment, they aren't very powerful. Please think this over, friend.
@ioneskye9996 I'm referring to the one and only sovereign God, creator of heaven and earth, your creator! Since you don't seem to know him personally, and clearly haven't read God's word, you don't seem to have any kind of solid ground from which to comment. I sincerely hope you will come to know Him soon.
My mother and I must both heal from the influence we've both had on each other's lives. It's a strange thing to get thrown into a life together, with a stranger that either created you or you created. There are times we are placed with the wrong person or the wrong person was placed with us. It would be a lot easier if we could just erase the memory of that person to start fresh but sadly that is just not the case. I'm sure my mother would love to forget me and maybe she has, I hope she has. I just want us both to heal and be happy, healthy and good with people that are meant to be with us and not the ones we've been forced to be with. I wish her well and I feel she wishes me well too. It's been 4 years, we will both heal living separate lives, more time will have to pass but time heals all. I look forward to the day that neither of us thinks or wonders about the other one. Praying for the strength to let go with love. Peace.
@sonicleaves Did you just feel like you did not fit into your family? I'm curious why do you want to forget your mother? I cannot comprehend a mother forgetting her child. Did she ever love on you, hold you, buy things just because and not our of necessity for you, nurture your hurts, did she ever make meals for you, sit with you and talk? Did you open up to her or did you put up a wall that she could not penetrate? Did you reject your mother and not let her get close to you? Did you emotionally isolate yourself from her by choice? Did you reject her? Or is this something you have felt as an adult that wasn't true while you lived at home. Do you get encouragement of any kind on social media from estrangement group of adult children? If so, will they be there for you when you need a community around you during hard times? I'm just curious at your reasoning in this.... no judgement here. Thank your for any graceful response from you.
@@southernbelle1269 Read about a mental illness called Munchausen by Proxy. I barely made it out of my childhood with my life. No one truly understands the damage this illness can cause unless they've experienced it themselves.
@@sonicleavesI just looked that up. If you experienced this, I am so very sorry. This is not the case in most situations of estrangements. I pray you heal from this and feel loved. My heart breaks for children in truly abusive homes. What is so sick in our society is children who were not abused screaming abuse and estranging from parents as adults just because they have a different personality from them or different political beliefs or religious beliefs. It is abusive to lie when real children are abused and did not get the love or nurture that some estranged adult children got. Their estrangement causes hurt to multiple family members. My ED post pictures of her humanitarian work while ripping our hearts out. The very family that loves her so much. Trust is lost forever. I will say a prayer for you🩷 and thank you for sharing.
I’m on the verge of letting go. It’s just so heartbreaking and going to sleep and waking up is the worse for me. Sending love and strength to all going through this.
@@teresak6463 I'm so sorry. I was watching a Joyce Meyer video last night. She has a youtube channel on here you can look for. The video was about forgiveness. It helped me a little bit. Because if we keep the hurt inside and bitterness in us and anger then it just hurts US not them. Hope you can find peace. We have to love ourselves and remember God loves you more than anyone, He will never forsake us! He is watching over you. And I hate to say it but by these kids turning their backs on their parents they will reap what they sow. We can only pray for them. Hang in there. xoxo
@@yttrxstein4192 Actually it's the opposite...the adult child is all ME ME ME. They are selfish and estranging themselves from the ones who love them the most in this world. It's really stupid on their part.
I texted my daughter last week, didn't hear back, didn't expect o. I don't even know if she got it as she may have blocked me. She has been completely silent since February. But years back she estranged herself from me for 3-4 years, then we reconciled. for many years. I didn't expect her to reply. I just said what I needed to say to her, and I wasn't mean but I was firm in my disappointment and hurt. Anyway, it was something I needed to do for ME. Praying for everyone going through this hell. I'm just glad I don't have any grandkids and she's to old to have any now so at least I don't have the pain of that loss also. I feel so sorry for grandparents who do not get to see their grands because of this, that is just heartbreaking. Bless you all.
@@bedertnathalie5007 Well then so be it. I have a right to MY feelings too. I am hurt and I told her so. Nothing wrong with saying it. Why don't you mind your own business, you know nothing of my situation and you don't know me or my daughter. My adult daughter is a selfish narcissist with a mean personality.
@@dsoutherland1747 I'm sorry for your pain too. I hope your child will come back around and be nice to you. I don't have much hope for mine to do that sadly. Mine is very mean! Take care of yourself.
Yes. My daughter blocked me all social media and even changed her phone number. I'm so shocked! What a night mare it has been 5 years. What is wrong with all these adult kids now days. I just want a healthy relationship with her. But I know in my heart her so-called husband has a lot to do with it. He is controlling her. What a sad world we live today. God bless all the mothers that loved their adult kids. 🙏 ❤
I'm a daughter of a mum who takes out her hearing aids everytime I speak to her or a book or she rings me drunk i understand the alcohol i struggled with it myself. I do not want to visit. I was unwell due to cluster headaches and became confused im staying in until they pass. One of which led to suspected seizure in may. My two brothers fell out in May and one unalived. I have has mri they are ok. Just very severe cluster headaches. I take preventer anti seizure med. Works well this month was not wonderful as stressed because it would have been my brothers 45th birthday. Its unbelievably hurtful to have someone remove their earphones everytime you speak to them. I won't even meet them for my birthday. I am anorexic and mum said I was selfish I didn't offer her food. Spent that week starving myself. Don't do this to your kids. This is the why for some estrangement I have requested counselling but it hasn't worked in the past.
I spoke to Dad we will meet eventually once ny heads not killinh me. That relationships ok. Dynamics kind of rocky but just have to try live in the now. Mum needs new hearing aids I think.
@@soniczforever5470 So sorry to hear what you went through. Nobody should go through this. Just like Diane said shift your focus on to something else. Also this vedio are not for your parents either. This vedio is for a different group of people. So don't feel upset.
I had the best healing cry in years, Hearts can heal, forgiving and letting go of the dream you had with your daughter, something wonderful is waiting for your gentle kind soul, and tender heart . ignore the hard hearted ,naysayers, they are young and haven't been on earth very long to have LIFE wisdom. WARM HUGS XOXO Peace and love to you XO
Diane, do not stop making these videos. I see many comments where people urging you to stop, telling you that it will postpone the reconciliation. That is controling and oppressive ultimatum. If the average wait time is 9 years, many of us are ill or don't have that time left on this earth. You are very brave. The rest of us just post comments or erase it. One day in the future young people will be searching for their ancestors. They need to hear your message so parental estrangement will not become a norm in our society.
Move on. If you love someone set them free, if they come back, they are yours, if not, it was never meant to be. I think it is very cruel and selfish for people to just randomly cut someone off who cares about them. If you are not threatening them with harm, there really is no excuse. The cutting off is for people being hounded and destroyed by narcissists, not for parents who are too annoying for their children to want to deal with.
All of these ideas are fantastic. I guarantee you, your child is out living their life exactly how they want with no thought for you. You should do the same. Find the joy, laugh, embrace what is different, let go of the guilt and allow progress back into your life. You are worth it!
@@AmyLouiseDens It took me about 2.5 years to feel true joy. Now at 3+ years, I can't honestly say I am thriving, my family is thriving and my other 3 children are healed as well. It affects everyone and each has to walk their own path. I am so glad you are leaning on the Lord. I too find my strength lies with Him.
An estranged child having “no thought” of their parent is not the case for all. Many children that have gone no-contact have made a very hard decision and live with guilt, anxiety, and grief. They have decided those feelings are healthier for them than allowing the feelings that come from interacting with the parent.
@estrangedparents misinformation, abusive content, spam...repulsive content, violent content (emotional abuse and neglect are violent)... do you get it yet?
@@sierrafrost1222 you could be a great help to people if you provided data that supports your assertions. What reasons do you have for your opinions? When a functional person discusses clear codes of conduct, she makes it clear by discussing specific behavioral detail. What you are doing is actually a person going to war and being destructive. What you are saying is random verbal abuse. You excuse and justify it. A cognitive distortion. Double standards. If you want to help people, then you can set an example of functioning reflectively. If it’s so easy, I’m sure you can behave like a mature and intelligent adult. And reflect back to people their humanity, rather than treat them like a villain in your fairy tale, with you as the hero. You seem to be using these people to play games. Another thing unconscious game players do is automatic discounting. They don’t engage in an equal, fair minded, good faith dialogue. Dismissive. How people work through issues is they argue about one thing at a time. They each express their perceptions. What they saw, heard, and sensed. (For example, maybe they are standing next to someone who they sense is angry.). They listen to each other. They try to put themselves in the others shoes. They demonstrate critical thinking and ask questions for clarity. Such as who what where why when how. They discuss their thoughts and feelings. Feelings are not always factual. We don’t want to get into emotional manipulation. Sometimes people falsely accuse and shift blame to others inappropriately. This type of egregious behavior needs to be taken seriously. Signs someone is abusing is these empty assertions and demonizing a person. People may use empty terms such as “boundaries”, “toxic”, “abuse”, “word salad”, “nonsense”, “narcissist”, or accuse the target of “manipulating”, “guilt tripping”, “ruining holidays”, “mocking”, “tantrums” “never saying sorry”, “gaslighting” “getting along” “has no friends”. They may provoke and then pathologize the response. The primary offender may not realize she is falsely accusing with empty rhetoric. She may behave like a falsely empowered toddler, and plays power and control games, and having dehumanized the target, refuses to treat them with basic dignity and respect, and wallows in self pity, and hateful, unforgiving, and vengeful. All problems are blamed on the target. She finds people who co-sign her bullshit. Allies who she may try to incite, stirring up the mob. She may act out her deluded beliefs, rather than use her words. She may play staging and framing games, as we see here, acting out that she is talking to an evil monster, an alien creature who needs to be eliminated. She may not connect the dots in terms of understanding consequences. She may exhibit callous unemotional traits. She may have irrational and even fantastical beliefs about how others ought to behave, and may lie that she was abused by horrible parents, when she wasn’t. She may have a very hard time considering others perspective. This lack of reflective functioning is a symptom of adult child issues. The otherized target is a villain in her fantasy drama. She may be unable to reflect back to the person her humanity. Functional people reflect back to the other what they head them say. They discuss shared core values, and functional grievance procedures, as we are doing right now. What do you think about this? If you think something is wrong, please make your assertion and prove it by providing the reasons for your statements.
The "letting go" meditation brought me to tears, but I can understand how it will facilitate healing. I can't help but think how your daughter might regret her choices some day. We certainly have all done things we wish we could go back and change, but we can't. I love the announcing out loud to the universe, who is most definitely listening, what we are thankful for. I have a practice before I go to sleep, in the dark, in the quiet, I think of five good things I am grateful for that happened that day. Thank-you again. Your voice of experience is a gift you freely give to help so many parents move forward from such a loss.
A regular practice of gratitude like that is a powerful healer. Keep it up, as it helps maintain perspective and a healthy balance in life. Our kids are on their own paths now, so we let go with love... 💕
I let go months ago. Part of my healing was honestly looking at her and my SIL’s behavior that led up to the estrangement. The second thing I did was put up several pictures on the wall of my ED. It tore my heart out at first to look at them. Now I can look at them and remember those times we had together and the great memories attached to them. My favorite one on the wall are the ones she had made for me on Mother’s Day! It was of her and her brother. It was such a delight to receive those that year!!! I remember my ED during those years and younger. My ED is not the same person as then. It is like 2 different people. Stepping back and processing this brought healing for me. We also pray for her and her husband nightly. I’ve never prayed for reconciliation. I pray for them to be blessed and protected and to learn what true grace is.
I love this, thank you for sharing. And I love that you're able to cherish the pictures, the art, and the memories for what they are, accept the current situation for what it is, and pray for them to be blessed, protected and hopefully learn about grace. Well done... 💗
Bless you and thank you so much for your amazing videos. Your encouragement and suggestions are helpful and a relief! I agree we all deserve to live a happy and joyful life. Kindness, forgiveness and gratefulness will never bring us harm. 😊
Sad ending for the parents of adult children who awakened. **Sorry for the ones that may have been brainwashed from “help” and/or all social media platforms!
I am getting to the point to DETACHing with love. I am not bitter or unhappy. I am enjoying my life. After 8 years. I am very Ok. Thanks for the people like you here. I listened and followed. God bless.
Almost to acceptance but its so hard. My husband holds out hope because ED speaks to him periodically. That keeps me in limbo and is having an impact on my mental health, but if I tell him to stop, I look like the bad guy.
I understand this. My son cut us off but we left all the communication lines open. It wasn't until he threatened me and told me to burn in hell, that we all finally put up the appropriate boundaries. You are not the bad guy by placing boundaries and protections from your child so you can heal too.
Yeah, that's a tough one. It's almost like you have to compartmentalize, and be happy for him that she sometimes speaks to him, while letting go yourself because that's just the situation you're in.
I can’t accept letting go because families aren’t supposed to do that unless someone dies. I can’t accept my child leaving me emotionally and physically. It hurts too bad. It’s very selfish of children to do this to a parent(s) with no communication as to why.
Prayers for you. I used to feel the same. But we can only offer love and kindness. It's upto them to accept it or not. What I belive is, with the improvement of automation most people think they are invincible. They can do everything all by themselves. Yes that's a reality but not a good one. We can share our responsibilities, burden and happiness altogether and enjoy a good life instead of carrying all that stuff in one shoulder. It's a pretty easy bargain. But they just don't get it. They treat each human being as burden, emotional or physical. So yeah it's better to let them go and let the almighty show them they are not as invincible as they think. 🙂 Let the Allah/God do his magic. In the meantime feel blessed if you can see, hear, have all your motor abilities in perfect condition. ❤
@@yttrxstein4192 Why are you so interested in seeing another person in pain??? I guess your estranged parents didn't gave you the pleasure to see them pain. Right??? Seeing another person in pain and then lecturing them when they clearly didn't ask for is really the definition of a attention seeking shallow mindset. When you see someone in pain either you help or leave them alone. Keep your judgment and edgy attitude to yourself. My parents did a lot of things which by the definition of today's world can be categorized as emotional abuse. But I didn't and will never estrange them in a million year. Do you know why??? Because they went through the same emotional sufferings. Back in their genaration physical abuse was considered necessary to raise a child, let alone emotional suffering. I bonded over the shared suffering with my parents and this is how it should be. Me and my parents we grew together crying, holding and sharing all our difficulties.
What helped me a lot was getting out of town. Long weekend getaways with family or friends have been wonderful! Thanks for the video. Only you, yourself, can make yourself happy and joyful!
It's been a rollercoaster alright for the past 5. Yes, it's hard to tell my side without knowing her side. Because I feel it's unfair, but I'm just gonna stop. I've been bashed over the head enough and told she doesn't want me in her life. I'm not gonna keep hanging my heart on the line for her. So I wish her the best but I have to move on.
My child still " communicates" with me - if thats what you would call it I Had a stroke with a mild case of Aphasia & when I have the words I try to explain it but the comments back are that I am using my stroke as an " excuse" - how do I reason with that?!!
If you're looking for reasoning, there's a few options: -Do you have a history of using illness or injury as a mechanism for getting your children to act approprietly? -Do you have a history of lying or subverting the truth with your children? If not you, is there something in the family who does? -Have you in the past been able to explain yourself clearly to them in a way they understand? If not, arriving at the same results as the past can make it feel like any new issues is a cover for how ground is being retreaded. These could possibly lead you to the reason!
This is a guided prayer, meditation, guided therapy without having to go to therapy for hope, love and letting go. Thank you! I've got to see my son, his 7 month pregnant wife and precious granddaughter this summer, twice. If it wasn't for my aging parent's it wouldn't have happened. I helped my son and dad fix sprinklers at my parent's place and enjoyed friendly banter with them all. My son was very kind and we shared some laugh's and I gave them all a hug when I left. I sent him a message telling him thanks for hanging out. No reply. I've got a new granddaughter that's going to be born around my son's birthday in December. Say a little prayer for me. ~Rhonda in Utah 💐
I'm not a therapist, just a mom who's been through it sharing what helped me. So glad you got to see your son, if even just a little bit... We'll keep you in our prayers.
This is my last comment. I fully support my “ flock “ of those condemned to our metaphorical death through public you tube crucifixion. There are definitely people out there who should estranged themselves from their parents but they all have one distinct quality ………a quality that you DONT HAVE if you’ve suffered neglect and abuse and that’s self worth and self esteem and self love. Adults children survivors ……… we don’t have that! We DO NOT HAVE THAT! And as a mother that gave my child everything I could, everything that I never knew, And to all of my flock i say ………… we gave them that! We raised them with self compassion and strength and obviously a lot of self respect and worth. So you’re welcomed adults of toxic abusive parents. Your mother instilled this into your life …… self respect! Self compassion! Self worth! Good luck with your future children. And goodbye.
@yvonneshaub6111 My son-in-law is just trying to keep his family together, so he won't cross my daughter. He acknowledges she needs professional help, but she won't admit she needs it, plus she has gotten horrible advice from counselors in the past.
@yvonneshaub6111 I've been dealing with this for years. Ironically, my ex accused me of having BPD. A psychiatrist and 2 counselors said that I do not. But I probably do have a couple of those traits due to trauma throughout my life. But my fear is that my daughter really does have a personality disorder. She is a tortured soul. We finally had a visit this summer and had a wonderful time. After I left, she went back to silence and not wanting to speak. And yes, I live on UA-cam for therapy.
By the way, your videos are very cathartic. And I appreciate them and I. Appreciate everybody that responds we are all in the same boat. Thank you again.
I am getting where I don't care anymore. Not that my arms wouldn't be open at any stage. But who is this person anymore? I know I've changed in the last 4 years. I love my daughter and it makes me sad. But, she's most likely not the person I miss anymore. Besides, her being estranged from me, is beyond anything I can Imagine a child being. I don't see my son's much, mostly their doing. Just feel it's time to move on.💔
Keep doing this difficult work, your insight and caring shines a lovely light that supports and helps heal. Goodness is always a beacon and it is much brighter than the dark, cold, cruel waves rising around us. We can protect our well-being from heavy, oil-slick, dirty attitudes attempting to seep in and try to cover our value so that we are no longer recognizable. We ARE good parents and we can make it through this murky place in life. Much Love to us all.
You say "WE are good parents" but you have no way of knowing if the rest around you are actually good parents. The only thing that unites you is estrangement. Do you believe the majority of estranged cases involve good parents? That seems highly unlikely. After all, would estrangement not be more likely with bad parents than good parents, even if there is a rise in unfair estrangement? Especially if the occurrence is happening because kids are more likely to estrange, would it not be the bad parents that are more likely to have children to estrange first?
Great video & yes I was too slow to let go but I have let go & with all sincerity wish the best for the decision they have made & I am grateful for many things far to great to list. We don’t have to be held hostage. I am living what ever time is remaining in my life without this estrangement being the center of everything. I can be happy without guilt for being happy despite the estrangement.
Elon Musk is one too his son doesn't want anything to do with him. " Elon Musk's estranged trans daughter Vivian Wilson announces she's fleeing the country amid Donald Trump's win " this article was on daily mail
In the first video you showed us snippets of the letter your daughter wrote to you. She wrote that she felt guilt tripped and gas-lit by you all her life. In the same video you said that she is the most caring, loving and empathetic person. Not someone who would ‘dump’ her mother for no reason.
There will be no healing for you unless you acknowledge your part in her need to leave. And that goes for most of the parents here. There will be no healing if it’s all the other persons fault. It’s freeing and healing to truly see your own faults. This probably will get people mad, but I hope some will understand.
What makes you think I/we haven't done that?
What you don't understand is many parents have apologized and asked for forgiveness which their children have rejected and opted to punish. This generation was raised soft not like my generation, I never abandoned my parents for harsh or strict parenting, as I had children I realized how difficult parenting is especially with teenagers, we weren't raised with influence from the internet which I believe is the main reason for estrangment of parents in today's soceity. Remember when you assume you make an ass of u and me. Ass/u/me.
@@stephaniek-vj2eh Yes.
Oops i was commenting on the other person not you ! @rossonphillips
@@estrangedparents I have seen your grieving process and I have gone through it along side of you , these heartless hateful comments people make are so bizarre.
Extremally priviliged comment section. Everyone is to blame: society, new technology and estranged child or the significant other, but never the parent. The parent maybe made some mistakes, which is immediately followed by there is no "perfect" parent nor "perfect" child. The issue being that imperfect child is in the developmental phase of their life and still making sense of the world, while imperfect parent is a fully formed adult, who should know better. You will say things like "this generation is soft", while you are the ones who cannot accept the fact that you messed up and now you will bear the consequences of your previous actions. Simple "sorry" will not be enough for some people who endured whole childhood of abuse.
How can you know that it's all the parents' faults without talking to each individual person about their situation?
@estrangedparents Based on the fact that the whole comment section of estranged parents will much rather discuss the secret cabal of big pharma, psych professionals, college culture and government agencies instead of admiting their own wrongdoings.
All you do is deflect anything anyone says. You do that to your child as well. Thats all there is to it. Thats why they left you.@@estrangedparents
No parent is perfect; that’s true. But it is shockingly easy to *respect* your children. They may not have as much experience as an adult, but their feelings and opinions are still valid. They still matter. My children are not my property- I have a stewardship over them until they’re old enough to set out on their own. Their lives are THEIRS.
One of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made was to remove my father and his wife from our lives. I miss my dad every single day, but the decision was the right one because he was incapable of treating anyone like a person. We were all his belongings. We existed to make him look good. Our feelings and opinions didn’t matter, because “he was the father, and we were the children,” even after we were in our 30s.
And when I had my daughter, I knew. I knew if we stayed around my father, she would learn to allow people to abuse and degrade her, because that’s what my dad did to me. I knew she’d develop an incredibly wrong sense of being responsible for the feelings of others. I knew she’d go through all the abuse and damage that I did- all at the hands of my father.
Sometimes leaving your parents is the right thing to do. If we don’t want our children to cut us out of their lives? Be the parent that doesn’t get cut out. Respect them and their feelings. Own your mistakes and apologize. Teach your kids by example that it’s ok to admit when you’re wrong.
And let your kids be who they are… not who you want them to be.
Agreed. But even then sometimes it's not enough, and all that's left is to let go with love.
@@estrangedparents Did you even try though? I've watched most of your videos and I'm reminded of my own estranged parents with no actual remorse. You publicize your own estrangement and use your broken relationship with your daughter as a hook for views and subscriber counts. If you wanted to fix anything you'd have actually stepped down from the pedestal you seem to live on and thought "Hm, maybe an honest effort to find out why they feel this way would help". Nope, instead it's disparaging youtube content for a middling channel.
They'll end up in some public funded nursing home probably. Couldn't even tell you if they're alive or not.
My life is better for it.
Evil people target the mother child bond. And this is how they do it. Huge grandiose ego and sick contempt. This is pure exploitation.
Diane, when are you going to read the entire letter your daughter sent to you regarding why she went no contact? All we ever got was your oversimplification of her complex and long letter, I'd love to know the full list of reasons as to why she left you
What makes you think you're entitled to hear the full contents of a private letter?
@@estrangedparentsbecause you’ve shared all of your other dirty laundry 😂
@estrangedparents You've already shared everything else, wouldn't hurt much to share that too. But I have a sneaking suspicion it will hurt. And you know that if everyone heard your daughters side of the story, they'd choose hers over yours 🤣
@@estrangedparents It’s not about entitlement for most people; it’s about what the channel symbolizes. People come here for insights on healing and understanding both sides of estrangement. Sharing more from the letter could support the channel’s mission, helping others to see the complexity of these situations. To foster healing to community and to the self.
@@estrangedparentsthe letter was private? Could have fooled me
I find it hard to believe that your children dont want to have anything to do with you because of THEIR choices. The bond between a mother and her child is the strongest bond of all. Children rarely CHOOSE to leave, even in terribly abusive relationships, the child still will want to please a parent. Its so sad. If a quasi meditation is your solution to relieving yourself of shame, i believe the shallowness and selfishness with which you have chosen to conduct yourself has given the viewers a peak into your mindset. Incredible.
most of the kids doing this have involved themselves with collegiate disability lifestyle
It’s not a new concept but this is the first generation to take it to such popular levels …
so there are more instigators and more followers and more who have been bullied into it by instigators and followers
It’s a way for them to get inappropriate attention, preferential treatment in classes, welfare, medical insurance, disability pay checks to pay rent at group home LLCs with others on the same collegiate disability lifestyle trip
They aren’t ‘tennents’ they are ‘clients’ so they don’t come under tennant landlord law …
They don’t have to adult much as they are usually only paying for a private or semi private room
All is honky dory with their new faux family …until it’s not …because it’s not sustainable
You need to do some research. 25% of adult children are fully estranged from their parents and a large majority of what's left is semi eatranged. Law offices are scrambling to hire lawyers to handle grandparents visitation rights. Counselors are encouraging adult children to go no contact without bringing in the parent to discuss. That has a lot to do with it right there. It can be a simple as you voted for the wrong presidential candidate, you're in the wrong political party, you said such and such 20 years ago and even though I never heard you say it again well you did say it 20 years ago. It's nuts.
Some children change because of their spouses my son got everything he needed in life , very loved but when he became married he was made to choose, when they had first baby things got more distant nobody did anything to him, so things aren't always black or white
@@dfab2486 There’s a long history of collegiate disability lifestyle
In the 80s the pop culture term ‘professional student’ was popular slang. There’s also the ‘perpetual student’ and the ‘career student’ all referring to a variety of reasons why a person would end up making a collegiate lifestyle and then possibly a disability collegiate lifestyle
…I’ve known several people who engaged in professional student collegiate disability lifestyle over multiple generations so I know how it’s been variously done over the years
The difference is that since the advent of social media the concept has become so popularized it’s now practically a lifestyle choice
Most parents don’t raise their children to aspire to a collegiate disability lifestyle because most parents don’t even know there’s a collegiate disability lifestyle and that whole industries have grown up around it
It’s a lifestyle that’s not wholesomely logisticly sustainable, and that’s where the crunch comes in
To get into the lifestyle is one thing -to perpetuate the lifestyle is another-and life after the lifestyle is something else
Some of the kids experimented with drugs, alcohol and sex unbeknownst or known to their parents while on their first time away from home at school
Some of those students ended up calling 911 which required them to be psychologically evaluated, which inserted them into the group therapy and meds system
Some couldn’t or wouldn’t behave in class appropriately and were referred for scholastic learning disability evaluation
Some didn’t have required classes and were referred for required testing for scholastic evaluation then learning disability evaluation
And some had other legitimate pre-existing severe disability
All those paths can lead to group therapy and meds and applying for disability benefits for anyone 18 or over -all with or without parental knowledge or permission and there are whole industries relying on it.
College towns have Section 8 homes near campuses and Group Home LLCs and some campuses now even have apartment complexes assigned for disabled living that students now on disability can choose from.
In some states there are specific demographics that have parents who ‘fight for disability diagnosis’ so their children can receive preferential treatment unbeknownst to parents who would abhor such an idea …
The demographics that ‘fight for disability diagnosis’ for their own children often overstep their bounds with other people’s children, as do their children in the lifestyle who overstep their bounds with peers, creating an inappropriate culture around collegiate disability lifestyle
The collegiate disability lifestyle is a fantasy life for a while until the logistics are required to change due to patient/student status and financial and benefits updates
And that’s where it’s a house of cards and all falls down but the student patient advocates keep trying to shore it up inappropriately.
Its unfortunate that he is not strong enough to tell his wife there is no choice to be made. If he is controlled by her, he may have married a woman with whom he felt comfortable with. Repeating his upbringing perhaps. Or maybe its easier for you to blame her instead of taking responsibility. Some things cant be undone.
There's literally hundreds of people reposting your videos. Dissecting them for hours. Each video has thousands of comments. It's not pretty. You have become the poster child of crazy estranged parents. They are using you as a text book example of narcissistic parenting. You have nothing to gain from this. If you truly love your daughter you need to let it go.
Yes, and what does that say about society at large?
@estrangedparents So you hate your daughter. Got it.
@@estrangedparents I am curious. Are you trying to help estranged parents or adults that went no contract. It seems like you created a support group for estranged parents. However your videos are being used to validate adults going no contact with their abusive parents. A couple videos come off as parodies of extreme examples. So I'm just curious if you are helping or hurting your cause. Maybe it's just venting that went too far because you got likes. Fascinating either way. Thanks.
@@estrangedparents Yes, and what does that say about you?
@@estrangedparents That we are a bunch of traumatized kids. That it's normalize to not regard someone's needs or mental issues and to get out unpunished, that people like you can do whatever they want, and still be on the internet, saying this sort of things. That's our society.
Letting go is difficult when your an estranged child because I still communicate with mum and I know dad's in the same room as her, but I'm disowned to him. I'm no longer his son, I'm never welcome in his life again. So at Xmas time I'll have to do a video call to the family and he'll be there but I'm dead to him. So I guess he just won't say hello or something. It upsets me that I know his unwillingness to attempt anything to fix things is hurting mum. It's been 4 months since he disowned me, because I stood up to him yelling. I decided to show him what he looks like when he yells and he didn't like the mirror image. I've tried everything to fix it. I tried saying sorry for my part in the arguments, he wouldn't let me say sorry, mum heard him say this, I've written apology letters, I wrote him a Father's Day message on his Facebook wall with no response. My birthdays at the end of November, I guess that will be a chance for him to show his true colours. I guess I should just chill until then and see what happens. Just venting. Thanks for your channel, it helps alot. Peace, Matt.
Lots of good exercises in the video, thanks.
Matt, thank you for sharing your perspective in a completely different situation. You can't control your father, he's made his choice, I really don't see any other way to heal than to let go with love and move on with your life. Your mom is also doing the best she can in a difficult situation, and she will have her own healing journey around this. Yes, the Zoom call will be awkward, but just knowing that going in, prepping for it as best you can, and allowing yourself the grace to process all the painful emotions that come out of that encounter is really the best you can do. You are grieving the loss of your father, the father you hoped to have but isn't... It's not so different from parents grieving the loss of estranged children still alive. As long as one person refuses to speak to another, there can be no relationship repair. So the best you can do is make peace with that in your own heart (which isn't easy), but hopefully this video series can help get you started. I wish you all the best on your healing journey... 💕
@@estrangedparentsThanks for the wise words.
I'm a Gen X in my 50's and probably in the same age group as many of you. And I want you all to keep in mind that we grew up in a time when there was little to no awareness about mental disorders compared to what it is today.
This means that we were the last generation growing up with undiagnosed mental disorders like ADHD, ASD, ASPD, BPD, NPD, OCD, PTSD, Bipolar, Depression, and Anxiety. And many from our generation have still not been diagnosed and will never be.
If your adult children say there is something wrong with you, they might be wrong, but they also might be right. You see, the thing with mental disorders when you have lived with it your whole life, is that you have no chance to know if something wrong with you, because YOUR "normal" is the only normal you know.
I thought I was normal, too, until I got diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago and with the help of medicine experienced something close to how a "normal" brain function.
I've also known for years that I used to have some quite nasty narcissistic traits when I was younger. And lo and behold, it turns out that ADHD and comorbid ADHD/Cluster-B runs in our family with a few cases in every generation.
Nobody knew these things when we grew up. If disaster happened when we were kids, we were simply shipped to the hospital to have our limbs fixed with no psychological or psychiatric follow-up at all. PTSD was a diagnose reserved for the military personnel, while children were believed to forget everything they suffered if nobody talked about it. And it took me 40 years to discover that my anxiety attacks and nightmares were sensory trauma responses caused by a train crash when I was 5.
My children's father was diagnosed with mixed NPD/ASPD in his late 40's. We lived together for 16 years trying to be good parents while screwing up the childhood for our own children. We simply had no clue that we were both born with pathological mental disorders.
I can only say from the depth of my heart, that nobody except from my children has the right to judge how I am and was as their mother, not even I can claim to know. Why? Because I have never been my own son or daughter. Only my children can define my successes and failures as their mother since they are the only ones who have experienced it. And I have no right to neither deny or disect their experiences as right or wrong.
We all want to be good parents, and we might believe we ARE good parents, but only our children KNOW if we are good parents.
And if we deem them to be unreasonable and ill behaved against us, it might be true, but even then we must keep in mind that we were the ones who raised them.
Thank you, this was beautiful
@@LordNinja109 ❤️
@@naiva amazing, wise words ❤️
@@naiva yes but you say yourself people are born with these issues. I don’t think it’s a good message to teach children to blame parents for their character.
@@karlynfinnegan2333 It's not about blame, it's about self protection. The reason they disconnect is because they do care about their parents. To be emotionally hurt by a parent is much more painful than feeling hurt by others, and this hurt can be overwhelming. It can take so much toll on their mental health, that they need to disconnect in order to function in their day-to-day life.
I know this is hard to understand, but parents who always feels sorry for themselves and need everyone to consider their emotional needs at all times, are really difficult to be around. In fact, it lands under what is called "emotional abuse" when parents lean on their children for emotional support and play on their children's guilt and shame to manipulate them into serving their own emotional needs. Children should not be responsible for their parents, neither financially or emotionally.
It's extremely rare for children to disconnect from mentally well functioning parents that are able to provide a family life where their children feel safe, loved, and respected.
Of course, during puberty most kids disconnect from their parents to a certain degree in order to prepare themselves mentally to become self-sufficient adults. That's a biological mechanism. They need to find reasons to move out of their parents' house and begin their own journey to build their own life and have their own family. This also makes it important to have parents who don't break down emotionally or burst out in anger every time there is a disagreement. During these periods, a parent must be the adult in the room and show a greater degree of calm and willingness to listen instead of judging.
My children's father was very difficult to handle due to his NPD/ASPD. He was very ill, and I had to teach our kids to disregard his guilt tripping, his drama, his lies, and his attacks. I had to educate myself on his personality disorder to be able to help them differentiate between normal father behavior and behavior caused by his illness. I also had to repeat over and over again that they were not responsible for his well-being. They constantly had to navigate between not being too distant and not being too close, because as soon as he got a wiff that he was in control, he would constantly call them and make them run his errands. He even stole all our son's savings at some point.
When he was dying over a period of a few months, I had to tell our kids not to visit him at the hospital unless they felt they had the strength and energy to do so. And I even told them not to pick up the phone every time he called. We had to take turns to see him and I was there most of the time and talked to him almost every day to give them some relief (it was almost 10 years after I had left him).
I also said to him it was me who had told them to keep their distance when they needed a break, because then I made it my fault instead of theirs.
Children are utterly and completely dependent on their parents (or caretakers) for their survival. When a parent gets angry it's a direct threat to their survival on a deep biological and instinctual level. Children are basically forced to please their parents for the sake of their own survival. Hurting children physically, mentally or emotionally actually create damages to the neuro pathways in their brain. It can deeply damage their mental health for the rest of their lives.
If they constantly feel threatened emotionally or mentally as children, it can cause PTSD. Lack of safety during childhood is highly traumatic, because if parents leave their children, their children will die. Threatening to abandon them is a threat to their life. And if they feel unwanted, it's literally the same as a threat of abandonment.
When children feel they have to please their parents in order to be loved and wanted, they suffer a constant threat of abandonment and possible death. This is how serious it actually is when parents are unable to take responsibility for their own emotions, needs and wants, and then make their children responsible for pleasing their parents.
Sorry for writing too much. It's a topic that hits me really hard because I know how hard it has been on my own children to deal with these things. It was extremely hard for them to accept that the death of their own father was also a relief, while their grief was the loss of the father they had always wanted but could never have because of his mental illness.
Of course my children don't blame their father for being ill. But they had to prioritise their own mental health first. They too suffer mental health issues because of him.
When I read some of the comments by some of the parents in here, I recognise the same patterns you find in NPD and BPD.
It sometimes culminates into a war of words between grieving parents who feel left behind and the younger generation who have left theirs. And with all due respect, these "kids" are not wrong. It is not their responsibility to keep their parents happy.
Let go a few weeks back. Didn't wish my son a happy birthday for the first time in 27 yesrs. I still thought of him with love and light.
It's hard, but the love and light makes all the difference... 💕
I love your leting go with love rather then self pity or anger , as long as they are happy and healthy , what more could we ask for ?? Some parents visit their children in jail , hospitals , institutions or their graves or have missing children , so we are lucky , they are their own people after all !
100% agree, thanks for weighing in... 💕
So important! I think we each need to define what letting go looks like. In my case, I will NEVER stop praying for change in my family. I will not do eastern meditation as a way to cope. God has promised my family's reunification and to Him I cling. He IS PEACE.
Amen! I am leaning on my faith too. I don't expect a reconciliation but if it happens I would not want it unless she changes, as she was very abusive and controlling. I stood up to her and that's why she has gone silent, so yes I would like to have us work it out but not on HER terms. i would rather be estranged if it's that way, as life was like walking on egg shells around her and her expecting to be treated like a spoiled princess! Not going to happen any more. God bless you.
Nothing wrong with prayer. Just substitute her phrase "meditation" for your own prayers. I pray for a reconciliation as well but I live my life as if it won't happen.🙏
@missanthropy5808 that's good. Except where is faith? Faith pleases God (Hebrews 11:6) If your prayers have no hope or faith in their fulfillment, they aren't very powerful. Please think this over, friend.
Are you referring to the god of the bible? When reading the bible one will understand that god has a bunch of personalities other than peace.
@ioneskye9996 I'm referring to the one and only sovereign God, creator of heaven and earth, your creator! Since you don't seem to know him personally, and clearly haven't read God's word, you don't seem to have any kind of solid ground from which to comment. I sincerely hope you will come to know Him soon.
My mother and I must both heal from the influence we've both had on each other's lives. It's a strange thing to get thrown into a life together, with a stranger that either created you or you created. There are times we are placed with the wrong person or the wrong person was placed with us. It would be a lot easier if we could just erase the memory of that person to start fresh but sadly that is just not the case. I'm sure my mother would love to forget me and maybe she has, I hope she has. I just want us both to heal and be happy, healthy and good with people that are meant to be with us and not the ones we've been forced to be with. I wish her well and I feel she wishes me well too. It's been 4 years, we will both heal living separate lives, more time will have to pass but time heals all. I look forward to the day that neither of us thinks or wonders about the other one. Praying for the strength to let go with love. Peace.
I wish you both all the best on your healing journeys... 💗
@sonicleaves Did you just feel like you did not fit into your family? I'm curious why do you want to forget your mother? I cannot comprehend a mother forgetting her child. Did she ever love on you, hold you, buy things just because and not our of necessity for you, nurture your hurts, did she ever make meals for you, sit with you and talk? Did you open up to her or did you put up a wall that she could not penetrate? Did you reject your mother and not let her get close to you? Did you emotionally isolate yourself from her by choice? Did you reject her? Or is this something you have felt as an adult that wasn't true while you lived at home. Do you get encouragement of any kind on social media from estrangement group of adult children? If so, will they be there for you when you need a community around you during hard times? I'm just curious at your reasoning in this.... no judgement here. Thank your for any graceful response from you.
@@southernbelle1269 Read about a mental illness called Munchausen by Proxy. I barely made it out of my childhood with my life. No one truly understands the damage this illness can cause unless they've experienced it themselves.
@@sonicleavesI just looked that up. If you experienced this, I am so very sorry. This is not the case in most situations of estrangements. I pray you heal from this and feel loved. My heart breaks for children in truly abusive homes. What is so sick in our society is children who were not abused screaming abuse and estranging from parents as adults just because they have a different personality from them or different political beliefs or religious beliefs. It is abusive to lie when real children are abused and did not get the love or nurture that some estranged adult children got. Their estrangement causes hurt to multiple family members. My ED post pictures of her humanitarian work while ripping our hearts out. The very family that loves her so much. Trust is lost forever. I will say a prayer for you🩷 and thank you for sharing.
I'm sorry for everyone. Modern society is difficult to navigate. I hope you all find some sort of reconciliation down the road. And grandchildren.
I’m on the verge of letting go. It’s just so heartbreaking and going to sleep and waking up is the worse for me. Sending love and strength to all going through this.
Yes, when I'm in bed I sometimes start thinking about it and I get mad then can't sleep. It's hard. :(
@@lmccauley7319 I really don’t get mad, just so hurt. I’m sending you love and strength. I’m so crushed. I can’t wrap my head around it.🥹
@@teresak6463 I'm so sorry. I was watching a Joyce Meyer video last night. She has a youtube channel on here you can look for. The video was about forgiveness. It helped me a little bit. Because if we keep the hurt inside and bitterness in us and anger then it just hurts US not them. Hope you can find peace. We have to love ourselves and remember God loves you more than anyone, He will never forsake us! He is watching over you. And I hate to say it but by these kids turning their backs on their parents they will reap what they sow. We can only pray for them. Hang in there. xoxo
@@yttrxstein4192 Praying you never have to go through what some of us are going through.
@@yttrxstein4192 Actually it's the opposite...the adult child is all ME ME ME. They are selfish and estranging themselves from the ones who love them the most in this world. It's really stupid on their part.
I texted my daughter last week, didn't hear back, didn't expect o. I don't even know if she got it as she may have blocked me. She has been completely silent since February. But years back she estranged herself from me for 3-4 years, then we reconciled. for many years. I didn't expect her to reply. I just said what I needed to say to her, and I wasn't mean but I was firm in my disappointment and hurt. Anyway, it was something I needed to do for ME. Praying for everyone going through this hell. I'm just glad I don't have any grandkids and she's to old to have any now so at least I don't have the pain of that loss also. I feel so sorry for grandparents who do not get to see their grands because of this, that is just heartbreaking. Bless you all.
I know the actual inward hurt you feel in your core. My child is hurting me by being aloof even though there was no argument.
@@bedertnathalie5007 Well then so be it. I have a right to MY feelings too. I am hurt and I told her so. Nothing wrong with saying it. Why don't you mind your own business, you know nothing of my situation and you don't know me or my daughter. My adult daughter is a selfish narcissist with a mean personality.
@@dsoutherland1747 I'm sorry for your pain too. I hope your child will come back around and be nice to you. I don't have much hope for mine to do that sadly. Mine is very mean! Take care of yourself.
Ya, by chance, called my daughter, not sure she had me blocked, I left my voice mail.....she just doesn't care😢
Yes. My daughter blocked me all social media and even changed her phone number. I'm so shocked! What a night mare it has been 5 years. What is wrong with all these adult kids now days. I just want a healthy relationship with her. But I know in my heart her so-called husband has a lot to do with it. He is controlling her. What a sad world we live today. God bless all the mothers that loved their adult kids. 🙏 ❤
I'm a daughter of a mum who takes out her hearing aids everytime I speak to her or a book or she rings me drunk i understand the alcohol i struggled with it myself. I do not want to visit. I was unwell due to cluster headaches and became confused im staying in until they pass. One of which led to suspected seizure in may. My two brothers fell out in May and one unalived. I have has mri they are ok. Just very severe cluster headaches. I take preventer anti seizure med. Works well this month was not wonderful as stressed because it would have been my brothers 45th birthday. Its unbelievably hurtful to have someone remove their earphones everytime you speak to them. I won't even meet them for my birthday. I am anorexic and mum said I was selfish I didn't offer her food. Spent that week starving myself. Don't do this to your kids. This is the why for some estrangement I have requested counselling but it hasn't worked in the past.
I spoke to Dad we will meet eventually once ny heads not killinh me. That relationships ok. Dynamics kind of rocky but just have to try live in the now. Mum needs new hearing aids I think.
@@soniczforever5470 So sorry to hear what you went through.
Nobody should go through this.
Just like Diane said shift your focus on to something else.
Also this vedio are not for your parents either.
This vedio is for a different group of people. So don't feel upset.
I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much pain in your life. I wish you all the best on your healing journey.
I had the best healing cry in years, Hearts can heal, forgiving and letting go of the dream you had with your daughter, something wonderful is waiting for your gentle kind soul, and tender heart . ignore the hard hearted ,naysayers, they are young and haven't been on earth very long to have LIFE wisdom. WARM HUGS XOXO Peace and love to you XO
Adele, thank you for your kindness... 💕
Diane, do not stop making these videos. I see many comments where people urging you to stop, telling you that it will postpone the reconciliation. That is controling and oppressive ultimatum. If the average wait time is 9 years, many of us are ill or don't have that time left on this earth. You are very brave. The rest of us just post comments or erase it. One day in the future young people will be searching for their ancestors. They need to hear your message so parental estrangement will not become a norm in our society.
Move on. If you love someone set them free, if they come back, they are yours, if not, it was never meant to be. I think it is very cruel and selfish for people to just randomly cut someone off who cares about them. If you are not threatening them with harm, there really is no excuse. The cutting off is for people being hounded and destroyed by narcissists, not for parents who are too annoying for their children to want to deal with.
All of these ideas are fantastic. I guarantee you, your child is out living their life exactly how they want with no thought for you. You should do the same. Find the joy, laugh, embrace what is different, let go of the guilt and allow progress back into your life. You are worth it!
I live a very full life, and I have great JOY! Please don't assume the opposite. I know my God's promises never ever fail. 😊
@@AmyLouiseDens It took me about 2.5 years to feel true joy. Now at 3+ years, I can't honestly say I am thriving, my family is thriving and my other 3 children are healed as well. It affects everyone and each has to walk their own path. I am so glad you are leaning on the Lord. I too find my strength lies with Him.
Be better to become a better person and parent instead
An estranged child having “no thought” of their parent is not the case for all. Many children that have gone no-contact have made a very hard decision and live with guilt, anxiety, and grief. They have decided those feelings are healthier for them than allowing the feelings that come from interacting with the parent.
Everyone IS reporting these videos, right??
@@sierrafrost1222 you are helping the algorithm by commenting. Peace to you 🙏
Reporting them for what?
@estrangedparents misinformation, abusive content, spam...repulsive content, violent content (emotional abuse and neglect are violent)... do you get it yet?
@@sierrafrost1222 Spread love not hate. Peace to you dear, I pray that you heal from your broken heart! 🙏
@@sierrafrost1222 you could be a great help to people if you provided data that supports your assertions. What reasons do you have for your opinions? When a functional person discusses clear codes of conduct, she makes it clear by discussing specific behavioral detail. What you are doing is actually a person going to war and being destructive. What you are saying is random verbal abuse. You excuse and justify it. A cognitive distortion. Double standards.
If you want to help people, then you can set an example of functioning reflectively. If it’s so easy, I’m sure you can behave like a mature and intelligent adult. And reflect back to people their humanity, rather than treat them like a villain in your fairy tale, with you as the hero. You seem to be using these people to play games.
Another thing unconscious game players do is automatic discounting. They don’t engage in an equal, fair minded, good faith dialogue. Dismissive.
How people work through issues is they argue about one thing at a time. They each express their perceptions. What they saw, heard, and sensed. (For example, maybe they are standing next to someone who they sense is angry.). They listen to each other. They try to put themselves in the others shoes. They demonstrate critical thinking and ask questions for clarity. Such as who what where why when how.
They discuss their thoughts and feelings. Feelings are not always factual. We don’t want to get into emotional manipulation.
Sometimes people falsely accuse and shift blame to others inappropriately. This type of egregious behavior needs to be taken seriously.
Signs someone is abusing is these empty assertions and demonizing a person.
People may use empty terms such as “boundaries”, “toxic”, “abuse”, “word salad”, “nonsense”, “narcissist”, or accuse the target of “manipulating”, “guilt tripping”, “ruining holidays”, “mocking”, “tantrums” “never saying sorry”, “gaslighting” “getting along” “has no friends”. They may provoke and then pathologize the response.
The primary offender may not realize she is falsely accusing with empty rhetoric. She may behave like a falsely empowered toddler, and plays power and control games, and having dehumanized the target, refuses to treat them with basic dignity and respect, and wallows in self pity, and hateful, unforgiving, and vengeful. All problems are blamed on the target. She finds people who co-sign her bullshit. Allies who she may try to incite, stirring up the mob. She may act out her deluded beliefs, rather than use her words. She may play staging and framing games, as we see here, acting out that she is talking to an evil monster, an alien creature who needs to be eliminated.
She may not connect the dots in terms of understanding consequences. She may exhibit callous unemotional traits.
She may have irrational and even fantastical beliefs about how others ought to behave, and may lie that she was abused by horrible parents, when she wasn’t.
She may have a very hard time considering others perspective. This lack of reflective functioning is a symptom of adult child issues. The otherized target is a villain in her fantasy drama. She may be unable to reflect back to the person her humanity.
Functional people reflect back to the other what they head them say. They discuss shared core values, and functional grievance procedures, as we are doing right now.
What do you think about this? If you think something is wrong, please make your assertion and prove it by providing the reasons for your statements.
This is just a test comment because my comments keep getting blocked for some unknown reason
Sometimes YT automatically holds or deletes comments, some that I see, and perhaps some I don't.
@@estrangedparents I will try your ‘reply button’ on one of your emails as I have some extended information
The "letting go" meditation brought me to tears, but I can understand how it will facilitate healing. I can't help but think how your daughter might regret her choices some day. We certainly have all done things we wish we could go back and change, but we can't. I love the announcing out loud to the universe, who is most definitely listening, what we are thankful for. I have a practice before I go to sleep, in the dark, in the quiet, I think of five good things I am grateful for that happened that day. Thank-you again. Your voice of experience is a gift you freely give to help so many parents move forward from such a loss.
A regular practice of gratitude like that is a powerful healer. Keep it up, as it helps maintain perspective and a healthy balance in life. Our kids are on their own paths now, so we let go with love... 💕
I let go months ago. Part of my healing was honestly looking at her and my SIL’s behavior that led up to the estrangement. The second thing I did was put up several pictures on the wall of my ED. It tore my heart out at first to look at them. Now I can look at them and remember those times we had together and the great memories attached to them. My favorite one on the wall are the ones she had made for me on Mother’s Day! It was of her and her brother. It was such a delight to receive those that year!!! I remember my ED during those years and younger. My ED is not the same person as then. It is like 2 different people. Stepping back and processing this brought healing for me. We also pray for her and her husband nightly. I’ve never prayed for reconciliation. I pray for them to be blessed and protected and to learn what true grace is.
I love this, thank you for sharing. And I love that you're able to cherish the pictures, the art, and the memories for what they are, accept the current situation for what it is, and pray for them to be blessed, protected and hopefully learn about grace. Well done... 💗
Bless you and thank you so much for your amazing videos. Your encouragement and suggestions are helpful and a relief! I agree we all deserve to live a happy and joyful life. Kindness, forgiveness and gratefulness will never bring us harm. 😊
Sad ending for the parents of adult children who awakened.
**Sorry for the ones that may have been brainwashed from “help” and/or all social media platforms!
I am getting to the point to DETACHing with love. I am not bitter or unhappy. I am enjoying my life. After 8 years. I am very Ok. Thanks for the people like you here. I listened and followed. God bless.
Sounds like you're on the right track... 💕
Almost to acceptance but its so hard. My husband holds out hope because ED speaks to him periodically. That keeps me in limbo and is having an impact on my mental health, but if I tell him to stop, I look like the bad guy.
I understand this. My son cut us off but we left all the communication lines open. It wasn't until he threatened me and told me to burn in hell, that we all finally put up the appropriate boundaries. You are not the bad guy by placing boundaries and protections from your child so you can heal too.
Yeah, that's a tough one. It's almost like you have to compartmentalize, and be happy for him that she sometimes speaks to him, while letting go yourself because that's just the situation you're in.
I can’t accept letting go because families aren’t supposed to do that unless someone dies. I can’t accept my child leaving me emotionally and physically. It hurts too bad.
It’s very selfish of children to do this to a parent(s) with no communication as to why.
Prayers for you.
I used to feel the same.
But we can only offer love and kindness. It's upto them to accept it or not.
What I belive is, with the improvement of automation most people think they are invincible.
They can do everything all by themselves.
Yes that's a reality but not a good one. We can share our responsibilities, burden and happiness altogether and enjoy a good life instead of carrying all that stuff in one shoulder.
It's a pretty easy bargain.
But they just don't get it.
They treat each human being as burden, emotional or physical.
So yeah it's better to let them go and let the almighty show them they are not as invincible as they think. 🙂
Let the Allah/God do his magic.
In the meantime feel blessed if you can see, hear, have all your motor abilities in perfect condition. ❤
@@noziashahapor9299 And prayers to you also.
Thank you for your advice. I guess I’ll break down and take it one day.
@@yttrxstein4192 no actually I don’t. If I did I wouldn’t be so troubled and depressed. I could try to guess but I won’t use speculation.
@@yttrxstein4192 who are you? I don’t recall asking for your comment.
@@yttrxstein4192 Why are you so interested in seeing another person in pain???
I guess your estranged parents didn't gave you the pleasure to see them pain. Right???
Seeing another person in pain and then lecturing them when they clearly didn't ask for is really the definition of a attention seeking shallow mindset.
When you see someone in pain either you help or leave them alone. Keep your judgment and edgy attitude to yourself.
My parents did a lot of things which by the definition of today's world can be categorized as emotional abuse. But I didn't and will never estrange them in a million year.
Do you know why???
Because they went through the same emotional sufferings.
Back in their genaration physical abuse was considered necessary to raise a child, let alone emotional suffering.
I bonded over the shared suffering with my parents and this is how it should be.
Me and my parents we grew together crying, holding and sharing all our difficulties.
What helped me a lot was getting out of town. Long weekend getaways with family or friends have been wonderful! Thanks for the video. Only you, yourself, can make yourself happy and joyful!
It's been a rollercoaster alright for the past 5. Yes, it's hard to tell my side without knowing her side. Because I feel it's unfair, but I'm just gonna stop. I've been bashed over the head enough and told she doesn't want me in her life. I'm not gonna keep hanging my heart on the line for her. So I wish her the best but I have to move on.
Yes, that's really the best we can do when they cut us out of their lives. We just have to wish them well and move like you said. Stay strong... 💗
@@estrangedparents thank you Looking forward to your future videos
My child still " communicates" with me - if thats what you would call it I Had a stroke with a mild case of Aphasia & when I have the words I try to explain it but the comments back are that I am using my stroke as an " excuse" - how do I reason with that?!!
Sometimes they just close the door and that's that... :(
If you're looking for reasoning, there's a few options:
-Do you have a history of using illness or injury as a mechanism for getting your children to act approprietly?
-Do you have a history of lying or subverting the truth with your children? If not you, is there something in the family who does?
-Have you in the past been able to explain yourself clearly to them in a way they understand? If not, arriving at the same results as the past can make it feel like any new issues is a cover for how ground is being retreaded.
These could possibly lead you to the reason!
This is a guided prayer, meditation, guided therapy without having to go to therapy for hope, love and letting go. Thank you! I've got to see my son, his 7 month pregnant wife and precious granddaughter this summer, twice. If it wasn't for my aging parent's it wouldn't have happened. I helped my son and dad fix sprinklers at my parent's place and enjoyed friendly banter with them all. My son was very kind and we shared some laugh's and I gave them all a hug when I left. I sent him a message telling him thanks for hanging out. No reply. I've got a new granddaughter that's going to be born around my son's birthday in December. Say a little prayer for me. ~Rhonda in Utah 💐
I'm not a therapist, just a mom who's been through it sharing what helped me. So glad you got to see your son, if even just a little bit... We'll keep you in our prayers.
@@estrangedparents You might not see yourself as a therapist but this message felt like therapy to me today. Thank you for prayers 🌷
@@filby3213 Please seek actual therapy, this is like getting a bandaid when you need surgery.
This is my last comment. I fully support my “ flock “ of those condemned to our metaphorical death through public you tube crucifixion. There are definitely people out there who should estranged themselves from their parents but they all have one distinct quality ………a quality that you DONT HAVE if you’ve suffered neglect and abuse and that’s self worth and self esteem and self love. Adults children survivors ……… we don’t have that! We DO NOT HAVE THAT! And as a mother that gave my child everything I could, everything that I never knew,
And to all of my flock i say ………… we gave them that!
We raised them with self compassion and strength and obviously a lot of self respect and worth.
So you’re welcomed adults of toxic abusive parents. Your mother instilled this into your life …… self respect! Self compassion! Self worth! Good luck with your future children.
And goodbye.
How can I get in your email list.?
us.estrangedparents.me/join
I can let go of my daughter, but I'm struggling with not seeing my 3 granddaughters.
Sorry
@yvonneshaub6111 My son-in-law is just trying to keep his family together, so he won't cross my daughter. He acknowledges she needs professional help, but she won't admit she needs it, plus she has gotten horrible advice from counselors in the past.
You may have court help available. Speak to a lawyer about visitation of the kids.
@yvonneshaub6111 I've been dealing with this for years. Ironically, my ex accused me of having BPD. A psychiatrist and 2 counselors said that I do not. But I probably do have a couple of those traits due to trauma throughout my life. But my fear is that my daughter really does have a personality disorder. She is a tortured soul. We finally had a visit this summer and had a wonderful time. After I left, she went back to silence and not wanting to speak. And yes, I live on UA-cam for therapy.
Please check your state laws. Our state has grandparent rights.
By the way, your videos are very cathartic. And I appreciate them and I. Appreciate everybody that responds we are all in the same boat. Thank you again.
My moods go up and down. I wish the hurt would go away. 😢 Thank you, Diane. I love your videos it always makes me feel better. 💕
Glad this helps! Hang in there, it's a process, you can get through it... 💕
Thank you for helping us. God bless. Please keep making these videos.
This is so powerful! thank you🙏
Thank you again. Important to implement the steps you so painstaking collated. Helping humanity.
You are a beautiful soul ❤
Mine left me too 😔 they even tried to claim sexual abuse in their letter.
I am getting where I don't care anymore. Not that my arms wouldn't be open at any stage. But who is this person anymore? I know I've changed in the last 4 years. I love my daughter and it makes me sad. But, she's most likely not the person I miss anymore. Besides, her being estranged from me, is beyond anything I can Imagine a child being. I don't see my son's much, mostly their doing. Just feel it's time to move on.💔
I can relate. It's tough, but it sounds like you're making good progress, stay strong... 💕
😢
Keep doing this difficult work, your insight and caring shines a lovely light that supports and helps heal. Goodness is always a beacon and it is much brighter than the dark, cold, cruel waves rising around us. We can protect our well-being from heavy, oil-slick, dirty attitudes attempting to seep in and try to cover our value so that we are no longer recognizable. We ARE good parents and we can make it through this murky place in life. Much Love to us all.
Thank you for your kindness, I really appreciate it!
You say "WE are good parents" but you have no way of knowing if the rest around you are actually good parents. The only thing that unites you is estrangement. Do you believe the majority of estranged cases involve good parents?
That seems highly unlikely. After all, would estrangement not be more likely with bad parents than good parents, even if there is a rise in unfair estrangement? Especially if the occurrence is happening because kids are more likely to estrange, would it not be the bad parents that are more likely to have children to estrange first?
Such a great video!! It’s been nearly a year for me and joy is back!! Thank you so much for helping us on this journey. ❤️
Lisaann, that's awesome! I'm sooooo happy to hear that, and I'm glad it helped... 💕
Great video & yes I was too slow to let go but I have let go & with all sincerity wish the best for the decision they have made & I am grateful for many things far to great to list.
We don’t have to be held hostage. I am living what ever time is remaining in my life without this estrangement being the center of everything. I can be happy without guilt for being happy despite the estrangement.
Well said... 💕
A perfectly timed video for where I am on this path....TY.
You're so welcome, stay strong... 💕
Elon Musk is one too his son doesn't want anything to do with him.
" Elon Musk's estranged trans daughter Vivian Wilson announces she's fleeing the country amid Donald Trump's win " this article was on daily mail
*daughter
Fixed it for you 😘