Відео

This woman just blew off her daughter's concerns and figured she would just ignore the concerns and "move forward" and talk about other stuff. Gee, I wonder why the daughter has a problem with this mother????!!!

When this woman casually bypassed the daughter's identifications to her as gaslighting and not guilt-tripping. I knew this woman was the problem.

I'm so proud of your daughter!!! She must be an amazing person!!

"they're politically aligned" almost like politics wasn't the reason bud ..

This video is sickening to watch. The smirk on her face constantly throughout the video while acting like a total victim... not once did you mention asking your daughter what you did to deserve it, what you could do to make her forgive you or even asking for forgiveness! Not once did you take any accountability for your actions! Children don't go no contact without a cause - there are psychological studies done on that. The only thing you talk about is me me me. Have you thought about your daughters' perception at least once? Your daughter clearly had enough of thinking about yours all the time as hers clearly doesn't matter to you. Guilt tripping her online - makes me feel sick watching this. Like a bad joke made about someone suffering, I just want to hug your daughter and tell her I'm sorry she never got the parental love everyone deserves and now has to go through the pain, shame and loneliness of leaving her family behind. Your video says it all and your comments as well, you truely thought the couple of well placed tears would make people perceive you as the victim, didn't you? What an act ... I used to feel sorry for people like you, because you perfected gaslighting yourself. You truely think you are good. You're awfully great actors, it's terrifying to watch. But pitying you was my own arrogance, I now want to believe that you are strong enough and capable of owning up to your mistakes. You cannot be that blind. Instead of acting like the victim, you could literally just do anything to get her back. You are clearly not doing that. Empty "I love you" " I didn't let you die as a child" (wtf!!! That would've meant prison for you anyway) texts will never be enough to overcome the pain of having a mother so full of herself 💀

Comments are so cruel. This is so unfair. Tgeier daughter in so ungrateful cruel and heartless

You "let her go" because you intend to make her feel bad and make her feel abandoned back. Pure evil

I want to know the daughter's side of the story. I dont think any parent who actually wants to have a relationship with their child doesnt come up on th3 internet and talk trash and poses themsleves as victims.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Sad. Sounds like the daughter didn't want to try. At least the mom tried to reach out. I understand this all too well. I was oust since childhood and began to understand why a little bit of it at age 13. Something was off. There was a reason why my mother treated me differently, and hostile for no good reason. Then after about 6 yrs after her death, and through many yrs of the same prayer-- l learned the truth. Someone asked me a question about the man who raised me, and the answer stunned me. I said that l didn't think he was my real father. God spoke to me, he said there's your answer! So I researched the DNA test l had taken the yr before- I discovered l was born of my mother's secret military affair. I weapt. I thought gee mom, it didn't matter how l got here, you would have be set free from your shame and have a relationship, instead she pushed me away from acting out her anger,low self esteem and I had to preserve my sanity. I had no contact for about 7 yrs,but the last year of her life in the nursing home, l was there every weekend while working 12 hr days. And l forgave her a long time ago. I was written out of her will. I wept on the drive home. It flooded back parts of my childhood, when I cried myself to sleep,trying to understand. Or how I was always staying frequent days with grandparents, " because they had things to do." My heart goes out to the mom. Because I am a mother who fought to be able to raise my child alone, and after my mother's death and her secret was out in the open, I morned for what relationship we could have had and felt compassion for her.

The fact that the lady had one daughter tells me she was fertile (not a 100% accurate assumption but close enough) and it also tells me she was selfish not to make another kid to play with her daughter. She goes on hikes and the like clearly indicating that she puts herself first, not sacrificial. The fact that her daughter did not learn to forgive only further curses her own life. The Bible is very clear and so is the world of psychology that you are slowly poisoning yourself hoping for the other person to die whey one doesn't forgive. This is trying to get revenge. It does not work! She will have a kid and the kid will do exactly the same and worst when she gets older. I'm talking from experience and this is the exact thing I'm living now with my own kids! And forgive us our sins as we forgive our debtors! If we don't forgive, we will not be forgiven. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is the golden Biblical rule. Respect your mother and father - so you will live long on the earth! Karma will return and she will get her payback. Shunning her parents tells me her heart is full of bitterness. Why not communicate like an adult, forgive, and move on. No one says to stay in the abuse, but to acknowledge someone, even a criminal on the street (say hello), is only human - let alone the one who gave you birth! Life is hard, full of lessons, not perfect, very tough for some, but if you are a narcissist and think you can do it better, just wait your turn - lets talk in 10 yrs! I see here so many people are quick to judge the parents yet they are not parents themselves. I can understand a temporary shut-off until you get their attention then you address the problem. But life is short and eternity is long and your are only ruining yourself, first and foremost, and destruction is never a good thing. We all have a thing called conscience - that is that room where only you and God has the key - and I'm sure she is trying hard to kill it and drugging herself to sleep at night. How is this going to help her emotional and mental health? The mind never forgets, but we can, from our own free will, choose to Forgive and enjoy the rest of our lives in peace and love! I urge anyone caught up in similar situation to get out, they are not health in the long run. Forgive and heal - its the only way! You can read your Bible or higher the most expensive therapist - both will tell you exactly what I'm telling you, for free.

You hoped your daughter would get angry and break silence by getting back at you for this pathetically edited video. It was your final say to try and hurt her, but she is smarter....You want to look good in the eyes of strangers but don't care to be good enough for your own daughter. You had time to produce a professional video but didnt have time to tell her you are sorry, and that you will NEVER give up your child, instead you say "I let her go". Like, she did everything and you dont have any responsability int his. At this point I totally understand she is probably worried for her safety next to you, and support her wise decision to cut all ties.

I cried watching you at the end. My daughter hasn’t spoken to me for almost a year. No reason was given. She just stopped communicating and blocked me on the phone and any other way I had to contact her. Currently it is a terrible time as her partner has unexpectedly passed away. I found out by accident seeing his mother’s post on FB which I do not use. Something urged me to look there. I told myself maybe I will see something she has written somewhere. Her father ( absent most of her life) is with her now but does not see it necessary to contact me so I can know how she is managing. I spoke with his partner and she relayed my message. He knows and does not care. I’ve been estranged from my sisters for many many years and with my dearest father’s passing this summer I have tried reaching out again. We shall see if anything comes of it. More than anything I miss my daughter and my grandchildren and I do not understand why I am being shunned. I have only my faithful feline. He accepts my love and I need him desperately to love. I expect to be alone this Christmas for the first time ever. I don’t even care really. I miss my parents more than ever. Oh well what can I do -one day all our tears will be wiped away and we’ll remember none of this madness. I came across this comment somewhere and it gives me some small comfort. I wish the best for you also and I think your daughter will change her perspective. She won’t keep this up forever 🙏🏼 though I’m sure it feels like forever already. Thank you for sharing your story your pain your love.

This ending comment about “loving you forever, you can’t change it, whether you like it or not” is, I think, the deepest part of this video. This is “loving” with strings attached because there is a control mechanism behind the “love.” She said the quiet part out loud, and the translation is: I GET to love you. I’m OWED. That is “love” with strings attached. This is high level manipulation, this is triangulation. This is, like so many of us see here, a Mom who wants the victimization so she can be right (because a victim is never in the wrong) so she can continue keeping her current mindset. If this was about help, she would’ve been doing a whole lot more than skimming chapters of a book, staying clear of “icky feeling” group therapy, and cyberstalking her daughter. Man alive, there is a lot of work to be done here. Hopefully this becomes an awakening and this Mom can heal own hurtful past. You don’t end up living like this without your own emotional burdens being unaddressed.

One went no contact....I wish the other ones would...save yourself, the ship has sailed, wasted too much time trying, let the world have them, its my time, no more for me...they love hurting you 💔 they get a thrill from it, while you are sitting around crying the blues they could care less about you...forget her and her freakin' birthday, find another poor young woman who will appreciate you, I have....stop blaming yourself

I stop talking to my dad for 5 years but neither one of us contacted each other. I don’t regret it but I wish I would’ve told him how angry I still am. He die and never spoke to me or my siblings. Sometimes we need those boundaries from family members to have peace.

I’m not a mom but a childless 42 year old and I’m going through this with my sister. I love her so much but she is SO TOXIC & I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do

Its hard to see defence mechanisms becsuse what were defending feels justified. For example... Daughter says whats hurting her and mother feels attacked and dismisses her and becomes the victim. In ur mind u may think shes causing trouble with me but really shes telling you how she feels and its a moment where you should understand her pain and validate her and be there for her. This is hard to see usually for people that do it. If ur parents were dismissive and emotionally unavailable you will become emotionally unavailable also. You have to unlearn the emotionally unavailability. Your mother or father was dismissive of you and thats how u become dismissive also. Avoiding accountability avoids shame. Denial helps you live ur life and get things done where ur not struggling by facing negative emotions and when ur in denial of ur negative patterns and parents patterns u had to endure that you enherited you become the abuser and the generational abuse gets passed down. People who are not in denial dont carry it on to the same extent but will also pass on emotional unavailability even with awareness but will not be as stubborn to not face is as they are open to reality more. Focusing on ur needs, pain and desires and emotions and disregarding ur kids and condition them to only condsider urs where you can be the victim to avoid shame and guilt and feeling like shit. Consisder ur kids needs, desires, emotions, pain when they arise. Ur child wants to move to university... instead of making her fearful so you can keep her home longer... in that moment consider what good would come to her. She would be more independent and shed meet friends and shed grow and accept ur feeling sad and ur going to be lonely but notice thats something u have to do something about. Not ur child abandoning herself to make you happy..... Etc.... When ur childs sad... dont say "well im sad becsuse of this and that" thats dismissve and its not a competition. Listen to her and feel her pain. Sharing her pain makes u uncomfortable but accept the horrible feeling knowing its going to help her feel better. Dont shut her down so you can feel better. This all happens unconsciously. So just try to be aware

Diane usually young adults leave their parent becsuse the parents narcassistic behavior is effecting their mental health, autonomy and can lead to health issues when constantly being dismissed, gaslight, neglected emotionally and controlled and feeling smothered by having our beliefs and needs and desires overruled by what the parent desires and believes and wants for us like were not a seperate human. Narcassistic abuse can make you want to kill yourself. I had to cut off from my mother to be able to heal my mind body and spirit but fortunately my mother didnt stay defensive and she listened and she realised what shes done to me and how it effected me and so now she validates and doesnt control and smother and call all day long etc.... so i was able to keep contact with her. Unfortunately she started controlling again by condemning my husband and my marriage and my religion and using tactics like withdrawing love and playing victim and lying and smear campaigns to try to get me to break up to have a marriage in the future that would suit her needs disregarding mine. I was berated for my choices for over 1 year and now i have a secret marriage where she thinks ive broken up with husband just to stop harrasment and stalking youtube chanels and facebook groups to attack husbands charector. Its peaceful the less she knows the less she controls and uses abusive tactics that ruin mental health and happiness. My mam doesnt realise. In her mind shes justified because of her reasons but she fails to understand her fear makes her control and her narcassistic mind makes her disregard my needs and only focus on hers and only has concern for her own comfort zones that make her comfortable. Parents need to understand were allowed our own beliefs and choices. Autonomy helps us and is necessary for growth. Tactics of gaslighting and witholding and lying and smear campaigns are their defence mechanism to deal with loosing control of narrative or the person and we see it but they jusify why its ok or deny doing it. Our feelings may not matter. Our experience may not matter. Our freedom nay not matter. What matters is how they feel and what they want. If parents who are abandoned by their kids worked on discovering their self preservation behaviours and notice how when they try to protect themselves they often abuse us instead of learning new ways to cope where you cope without abuse and control. Thats a start.

This is the most uncomfortable thing I have ever watched in my entire life. The sad violin music, the weird editing, what in the hell?

lol I hope this is satire

One, two and now my third son has left the room. I held on so tight but it didn't matter. He followed the footsteps of his angry brothers. The anger they hold onto because of an absent father has boomeranged back to me. My relationship with Jesus Christ has grown and I can thank my "children" for this. You are a blessing for so many.❤❤❤

Thank you ❤

Thank you for sharing this-I am struggling with this too. I need to let go, like you have done. 🤗

“ she doesn’t care about how we feel” EQUALS 🟰 Her self preservation , her sanity, her comfort. if you truly love somebody, you will have the ability to let them go. A lot of people need to be on their own for a long time to heal to learn nobody not even parents should interfere .

What did you do to cause her to cut you from her life? It takes a lot for a child to make that choice. For much of their life, you were the person they trusted the most. No other person on the planet had a tighter bond. You were the source of reality, truth, right/wrong etc... for her. The parent owns the relationship. I bet if you reached out to her and asked her to honestly convey her feelings about you with no fear of you countering and trying to nullify everything she says, to truly try to see things from her perspective that you might actually make progress toward healing the relationship. Playing the victim like your evil child is just inflicting pain on you for no reason and sharing that belief with everyone won't fix things. That process is probably part of what drove her away.

I love how this entire channel revolves around the idea that this is some trendy thing kids are doing, with the economy at its ultimate shittiest trajectory in the US it's statistically more likely by a huge margin these kids would need or benefit from parental help but they're choosing to go no contact & this channel is all about not questioning that at all. Maybe it's not a trend, Diane, maybe it's just that social media means that kids are no longer isolated in the emotional information silo parents of the past created & now realize they have a choice rather than being ignored, neglected, overruled or beat down by shitty parents who are repeating the cycle of their own traumas & completely unwilling to interrogate, exorcise & heal from it before bringing a kid into the world. Being a parent is a (sometimes forced) choice, being a child is an always forced burden.

This is too strange. I would want to know my child's side of the story in person. You efforts seem minimal.

These kind of moms need to do less talking and more listening.

I think you mean well, but your advice to estranged parents isn't especially helpful. If I understand correctly, you're saying, "Parents, you did a good job. Any mistakes you made were minor and in the past. Your children are being completely irrational and cruel and making impossible demands. Therefore, there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix this situation, so let them go." That advice doesn't offer any solutions to the actual estrangement. But think about this, what if there IS a solution? If there is, you are guiding people astray. Look back in the comments or read your daughter's letter and see what the solution might be. Work on figuring it out, hopefully with an experienced therapist. Then, think how amazing it will be when you can come back to your channel and offer better advice than just, "Mourn your children and don't blame yourself." Honestly Diane, it's heartbreaking for you and your child. There is a way to fix this, if only you will listen and do the work. But maybe you are right, and you CANT listen and so there is no real solution. Maybe you, and the majority of these other parents, are incapable of meaningful change. If that's the case, it's a tragedy for everyone involved.

I am estranged from my family. I want to forget them and never hear anything from them again. I always was the black sheep of the family and it hurts I have contemplated suicide because of the mistreatment due to my sexuality. I plan to change ny name and identity and move on.

Diane, I believe you feel love for your daughter. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean you didn't abuse or deeply harm her. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can't possibly have hurt them. Hopefully, however, you're love will convince you to stop protecting your ego and security and instead try to protect the remnants of your relationship. You are the parent. You acted and continue to act in a way that your daughter finds intolerable. I'm going to say that another way, you're interactions with your daughter leave her feeling belittled, unseen, and disrespected. Instead of justifying and minimizing your hurtful actions, please work on identifying them. I do believe that you don't see the harm that your behaviors cause. I believe that the way you treat others has been normalized to such a degree that you're not currently capable of seeing how toxic it is. So here's the deal. Instead of saying to yourself, "Well, the way I act is perfectly normal and shouldn't cause pain. In fact, if it does cause pain that's because my child is weak/entitled/bratty/unresilient/brainwashed etc and needs to buck up and stop being so demanding and manipulative." Instead try thinking about how you might have become "nose blind" to the toxicity of your actions. Really listen to what your daughter has to say. That is the only way towards reconciliation and growth. You have two roads ahead. You can lean into your anger and feelings of betrayal. That will get you a youtube channel and consolation Birthday gifts. Or you can do the incredibly hard work of change. You might have to change your world view so you can better understand your daughter's, you might have to reconsider your role as a mother, you might have to admit some ugly truths about your own parent's shortcomings etc. It won't be easy, but you would ultimately grow as a person, become more honest and kind, and very likely win back a relationship with your daughter. Please, seek qualified help. It will be a tough journey, and you'll want a guide.

I stopped talking to my mother for more than 10 years now. She was a narcissistic parent and is supreme at playing the victim in public display to make me look like the worst person. She is emotionally abusive to me for decades and always make me feel lesser. Good riddance...i am proud of mu decision and I thank God for me to see clearly of my own self worth to not be destroyed by her.

I have been estranged from my daughter for more than 7 years. 💔 I used to believe that I did so much for my girl but I don't understand if I did anything good because she hates me so much. I thought I was doing so much for the better of her life and clearly she didn't feel that. I made so many extraordinary efforts to make sure she had the best of everything and I always did without so often. I was strict and I loved a very strict routine but she must have hated it. I hated when her step mom told everyone that she was her daughter, and she always got all the special occasions because she had 2 babies with her dad so my daughter wanted to be with them for all the holidays. When the boys were older I asked her to come home for Christmas and she told me she was having her dad's family for Christmas. Then she started to call me on Christmas and my birthday. I started to feel like I was walking on thin ice and everything I said had to be thought very hard about before saying it. I made attempts to talk to her, I reached out when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and I never heard a thing. I tried one more time and again nothing, so now I have removed her from my Will and I won't attempt to talk to her again. She lives in the USA and I'm in Canada 🇨🇦 where she was born and raised until she met her American Husband and they married in his city of Chicago and have been ever since. I've missed too much of my daughter's adult life with her 2 boys, so I'm moving on. I'm moving away to another country soon and I'm not telling anyone. I believe it will be easier for me to help with the pain I feel in my heart from missing her. But I'm the witch, the bad guy, and I'm always doing something wrong. How can you go from a mother-daughter bond that was so incredible.

I think you stray pretty far away from estrangement in this video... While I agree 💯 that social media tribalism is absolutely poisoning the well on our relationships, and that we should resist it with all of our strength and tact and dignity -- and I agree that the backdrop of a poor economy and societal problems just cranks up the severity on a lot of people's conflicts -- the idea that the federal reserve is somehow responsible for folks having bad relationships with their kids...? I just think that is a stretch and a dereliction of personal responsibility.

Looking in the comments of that first video it seems like there are all lot of adults who were abused both as kids and as adults by terrible parents, my heart goes out to all of them 😢. With all due respect and empathy for them 🙏, I don't think it's very logical for people to make diagnostic claims about you just from watching one video -- rather I think your video sort of became a lightning rod for folks of who've had abusive parents and there was sort of a cathartic explosion in the comments. You're kind for showing them compassion. We're all imperfect and I hope that among the hyperbole there were some folks in the comments who gave you a mixture of both compassion and constructive criticism for the situation that you find yourself in.

"I buy myself a gift for myself on her birthday." This is when I stopped feeling bad. You could have easily said something like: "I giftwrap them and set them aside in the closet for if she returns." and that would have been so sweet. But you don't, you're clearly focused on yourself.

I see why your daughter don’t mess with you!

The reason why this is so hard is because when you have a Mom like this, they may not even realize that they are this way, they are so blind to their own self centeredness, that they look like this sad little puppy who doesn't know what is going on, and as the child, it feels like you are just watching it and not helping at all, when really, you've tried over and over and over again to share your feelings but they still just cant see it and they are stuck in this loop of sadness and confusion. Its so sad.

As I read through the comments, it makes me sad and angry that so many people judge these parents . Unless you have personal details with a child with mental illness, you have no idea what it can be like. You also have no idea what it is like to have a child walk away only to come back years later and say they wish they would have never listened to their friends. Their life is ruined, and they want you back in their lives. I've seen it more times than I care to count. I've been there on both sides, and it hurts. I don't understand why more people aren't encouraging this to work things out. You might have many friends, but you only have one set of parents. I'm praying for this family.

Elon Musk is one too his son doesn't want anything to do with him. " Elon Musk's estranged trans daughter Vivian Wilson announces she's fleeing the country amid Donald Trump's win " this article was on daily mail

You didnt let her go you just tell yourself that to dull the failure you are towards your child.

It takes a lot of courage to do this and to be vulnerable amongst these heartless, judgemental people. No decent parent deserves this. There is a TREND to go NO CONTACT with your parents. Mental illness is real and we are not always aware of it. Our culture has become POLARIZED and this is a result of that. So sorry for your heartbreak, loss and grief.

Justt wait until YOU have a child and they do this to you. It used to be children had respect and honor for your parents. I didn't dnt always like my parents but it didnt give me an excuse to disrespect or doshonor them. Selfish Society..

Some of yoz people are rude and have NO heart.

I can’t reach out if I wanted to (which I do) He blocked me on the phone and social media 😔

There's literally hundreds of people reposting your videos. Dissecting them for hours. Each video has thousands of comments. It's not pretty. You have become the poster child of crazy estranged parents. They are using you as a text book example of narcissistic parenting. You have nothing to gain from this. If you truly love your daughter you need to let it go.