My brother is 42 and his gf is 60. He’s 6’5 and she’s 5’ lol they’re never getting married but they’ve been together for 6 or 7 years now. She’s actually the best thing that could have happened to him. I’m happy for them.
Thats what I believed but the wicked world destroyed that after my 20 30 40s being a hopeless romantic fool . It also seemed to me the world stopped believing in love married women friends would explained how it more a partner more of a status and control thing sex is given in exchange , I would not accept a relationship that is made of anything else .
I am also 51 and I lost my husband in January 2022. We were together almost 30 years. He was the love of my life, my best friend, my soulmate, but I know he would not have wanted me to be sad and alone. Of course, I am sad. I miss him terribly. But I refuse to live the rest of my life alone and without love. Now I know I probably will not find the type of love he showed me, but I have so much love to give and I look forward to loving again some day. Until then, I love my daughters, my grandchildren and my friends and family. This year has not been easy, but I'm still trying to love. ♥
Dear Anita, human life can be so harsh, our hearts get broken. Say good bye to your soul mate after 30 years, I cant imagine your pain. But you are so brave, your desire to love is so moving... I wish you and your family the very best xoxox
For this person: my friend found the LOVE OF HER LIFE, a fabulous relationship in her 50s. And it was so worth the wait. Keep focusing on your own journey, LIVE LIFE.
That's great but many people might not make it to their 50s and will have never been in a "fabulous" relationship with anyone. Once you meet someone, your age isn't really important and your life before isn't really relevant any longer. Those that don't find someone will just go on without ever knowing what is or what could have been.
I’m 41 and have been single for over 5 years, yeah it sucks but after watching this, I should be grateful I didn’t waste those 5 years in meaningless relationships 😂
I'm four years single @ 57 after a very compels 20 year "thing" I'd love aspecial friend to share stuff with but I can't do a relationships even struggle with family stuff right now...... at 41 your so young and there's loads of time for you yet xx I'm hoping to have an indian summer and maybe smile again.
Far better off!! I've watched how unhealthy relationships wreak havoc on people's soul, health, finances, kids, families, even their communities. It is far better to work on ourselves and date mindfully than destroy ourselves and others living in a toxic relationship/marriage.
I'm 10 year single and celibate. If you think your lives is boring, well what about mine lols😁but I still cling to hope that someday, I get to meet a good match😉
I’ve been single for five years. It sucks but on the flip side it would suck more if I was in a relationship with the wrong person or settled for a guy just so that I’m not “single”.
Some coupled up people are envious of the single people. I've been single for 10 years. I'm 55, and to be honest, the state of the male species these days is worrying. They are mostly, in my experience, avoidant, unwilling to commit to a relationship. They are fear ridden after divorce and want to keep their options open. I am an attractive 55 year old. Independent, open to a relationship. Won't be holding my breath. Just live your best life . Get a dog, stay healthy, do what you love
I totally had this epiphany earlier this week. I’m 29, so still young with time, but sometimes it feels like I won’t find the love I’m looking for. It can be a little hard seeing everyone else my age getting married and having kids, but also recognize that grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side. I do already make my life amazing everyday through doing what I love, and being around people I love. And I already have ‘marriages’ in my life- the things in life that I love unconditionally and will undoubtedly have forever, even if those things are not a romantic love.
Thank you for sharing this, I’m turning 23 and I feel the same way. I’m deep into my studies and feel that people won’t understand my lifestyle but I find myself continuing to love what I do and spend it with friends who push me forward.
Relationships aren’t always happiness. But it does challenge you to grow outside yourself and see things from a different perspective. Sometimes you meet someone who turns your world around upside down in good ways. Sometimes worst. But at least you opened yourself up deeper then before and let your heart be more free
@Spots Corner that’s because you lack the confidence inside you to go for what you want. I had a hard breakup at 27 after 5 year relationship. I said to myself screw this and slept with women first date one after another. You do this by being honest with what you want. Women either go for it or not. If not you move on. If yes it’s on. It’s easier then you think. You just over complicate it. And if they are that open about it, then you live honestly with them relationship wise. Women are sleeping around. Don’t believe otherwise. Dating doesn’t lead into relationships. Dating leads to more dating. Honesty leads to relationships. You just talk to a girl and see if you two enjoy talking. Then you just straight out say what you want like I’m only looking for relationship not friendship. I’ll date you but only if you see the possibility of going further and think the same way and not because you were screwed over by guys but because you think we can connect at another level. That’s direct honest and to me more romantic then the let’s see what happens and spend tons of money on girl so she’ll be impress and keep me. Whatever money you spend, a richer guy or hornier guy can spend more. Women will be more impressed by directness and honesty
Life is fickle. People put so much emphasis on romantic relationships. Even if you find the perfect partner, that could be taken away in an instant. The only thing you have control over is creating happiness within yourself. That's the only thing that will last you a lifetime.
I'm only 26 and I already have the fear of ending up alone when I'm old. I value it a lot when both partners try their best to keep the relationship going forever and not give up on each other during tough times (except for betrayal and such). However, in today's world, people don't think ahead and they can be very impulsive or superficial. I'm just hoping that I'll have a long lasting relationship with my current partner. And I hope, everyone out there, who wants such kind of a relationship will have it too!
43 and just got married for the first time! ❤I was so scared it wouldn’t happen but now change a thing because it brought me to my husband and his kids
I thought the same thing after the end of a twenty-five year marriage and at 53 had been on dozens of lackluster first dates until a few months ago I had an amazing first date where we closed the bar down talking for hours and are now in the beginnings of a wonderful healthy relationship where I feel like a teenager again at times. It may come when you least suspect it, keep trying, don't give up and stay open while you live your best life! 🙏🏻❤️
Thanks Matthew! I'm 33 and I've been single since right 30. My previous relationships were toxic and I was very emotional attaching to them. Since 30, I realized that the whole toxic relationships come from my childhood that I grown up in a toxic family. Since then, I no longer being too emotional with guys around. It's fine to have a crush on a coworker, It's ok to hook up w a guy but I'm not too emotional attached to them. I'm okay when it's over. Now just let it be. I find different forms of love in small things, in kind people. Some day , love may come to me , may be not. It's all right. Living and enjoying life in the present: self love, work, travel, solitude, nature, hobbies, etc... 🕊☮
This is exactly what's happening for me right now!! Feels like I've been chasing the idea of love and a partner my whole life. I love how at ease you are with finding love or maybe not, that's what I'm aiming for too, I just want to be at peace for once 🌻
Sounds more like you are overreacting because of your toxic tendencies. Just find a partner that isn’t toxic. Raise your expectations on who you date. You are just using guys and guys are using you. That isn’t loving yourself or anyone else
@@estelao.b.1473 lol that's not being avoidant, it's actually reclaiming who you are and finding safety and love within yourself. That's actually crucial to meeting a good partner, don't spread this misinformation.
Dishonest (to me) as in, standards so High than even They can't possibly reach them. I think (men) die sooner than women, per Capita, so at least we outlive them
I’ve not given up I’ve just given up looking I love and enjoy my life as it is and if somebody comes along that can be honest caring and consistent then that’s a bonus but I won’t die but being in a relationship lol x
@@e.1766 dishonest in a way they chat to you all night and then make plans to date or they don’t make plans but decided to tell you they have a girlfriend at the end of talking for hours in a pub etc
I left my husband after 20 years abusive marriage at age 55. I am having the time of my live, getting to know and love myself to the fullest. I am surrounded by amazing people that I attract and also I let it go of people, thoughts and things that are not adding meaning to my life. No time to waste!
I'm in my middle age and GRATEFULLY never married. Coming out of an abusive background, I was determined to learn to love myself first. I didn't care if it took me until I was 90 years old (and met him at a bingo match), I was NOT going to repeat the family patterns. The road has been far from easy, but I'm proud to finally be the kind of woman any healthy man would be fortunate to have as a partner. I could be a rockin' stepmom. But I'm content with being single right now. I am more immersed in love than I've ever been in my life, because I started attracting a "loving" life of supportive people. THAT was the cue I am ready. I plan to start actively dating in the next year, because I know I can have fun doing it (without the pressure of the scarcity mindset). And if love never enters my life as a life-long partner, that's fine. I AM MY GREATEST, LIFE-LONG PARTNER!!! :)
As we get older, it is natural to have someone special to do things with, and have companionship to share experiences. It is a heartfelt desire, so we must do all we can to be open to possibilities.
Welcome to the matrix. This is Morpheus. The true reason why many of you are single is the feminist evil unjustice system. Men have competely checked out. It's your reality now, change it or leave it as it is.
Desire, but not need. You won't die without a relationship, it's just a biological urge to preserve our kind, which can be suppressed and overwritten, to accommodate to being comfortable on your own, because you have to take into consideration all the possibilities, including never finding love. You have to be prepared for all scenarios. What if you don't find love? Are you going to whine about it for the rest of your life? Your happiness is your responsibility. Overcoming the instinctive bonding desires will allow you to bask in your own company, if you can't find love from within, and get to know yourself first by spending time alone, you'll never find love.
I have been single since my 20's, and now 11 years late, at my 31 (almost 32), I still have to find someone. Sometimes the thought of never finding someone (romantically) to share life and life experiences with terrifies me, I feel unlovable and can't help but cry. Still, sometimes I feel okay just having beautiful and meaningful relationships with my friends and family, feeling accomplished by how much I have done by myself.
I'm a 55 year old gay man in Los Angeles praying every day to meet, date, & be in a relationship with another man who is physically & emotionally available. Another man who is as mutually attracted to me as I to him. Lately I've been feeling hopeless in invisible to other men, but this video puts everything in perspective..... & I believe everything on it is the higher truth. The points that resonate the most are to live each day the best, as all these days are a blessed bonus. Don't compare & despair(a favorite LA pass time!). Loving relationships come in many different varieties. Give love. All of your content is also applicable to gay men.
This is such a good message. I have been single for 14 years, I am 48. I have often thought that I will never find romantic love. I am loved by so many people and I am learning to appreciate it, I have been through a lot health wise and deal with chronic pain on a daily basis. It has given me the time to get to know myself, learn to accept myself and to look for the opportunities to improve myself daily. It can be hard, I spent a lot of my life comparing myself to others and your videos have really helped me to enjoy my lfe, who I am, work on being grateful for what I have, while pushing myself to be the best version of me, thank you.
I'm 54 and it never happened for me, and I'm OK with that. Being single my whole life has allowed me to travel the world on a whim, and basically do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Starting a relationship at this age, and I'm a young 54, would have more negatives than positives. The loss of freedom and the loss of peace just aren't worth it.
The problem is you're thinking a relationship is the opposite of what your current life is. That's the problem with finding someone so late in life that you believe your "real life" starts after the relationship. I am 40 and never found someone myself. Yes, I do enjoy my freedom to do what I want and I also get to enjoy things that if married I might not enjoy. But then I think you know someone out there is in a relationship and doing exactly what I love to do as well. There are women out there who would love to travel and see the world and would work just as hard as you to want to travel. The only extra thing you're carrying is your wife and whatever luggage she has and vice versa. So the problem with relationships at older age is you develop this unrealistic view of what a relationship might be and you rationalize that somehow your life is better without which is false both ways. Your life will be no better or worse with or without someone. It's just that you're doing without.
Damn man did you have a gf before? I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and I feel the FOMO so much. I hardly get matches on dating apps and even if I get one, I get ghosted most of the time and 2 of my crushes in my college too rejected me few months ago. I also chat with some girls on Instagram whom I knew in high school days and they are all 19-22 year olds now but most of them ended up ghosting me too except one sweet girl who is 20 year old and she is nice to me. We were in the same school too but now in different colleges in the same city and we send each other virtual hugs and she calls me cute but she said she is already in a relationship but idk whether she lied about it because she is still being flirty to me.
@@manosijroy8282 bro 😢 Same here. My problem is whenever I meet someone whom I find attractive (not physically but charector) I just feel like I'm not good enough for them. Like even if they show interest in me I held back my feelings and act indifferent. I don't what's wrong with me. Fml ig 😑
@@manosijroy8282 I've had many girlfriends over the years, some I've even lived with, and each time it just reinforces that being single is the way to go.
Never is an ugly word. I know a couple that met at 63 and have been enjoying each other’s company for the last 22 years. So… have hope and courage…. there’s still time for love.
I'm 22 and I've never been in a romantic relationship before. I struggle with catastrophizing and focusing on the idea that it might never happen, but when it's put into perspective like this, it actually gives me a lot of hope. Just because I've never been in a romantic relationship, that doesn't devalue every other relationship and experience I've had in my life. And, at 22, my life has barely just begun. Sometimes you just need someone to put that into perspective for you, to force you out of that limited perspective, and you guys definitely did that for me today. Thank you Matthew, and thank you Cheryl for sharing your story!
You must avoid love because the love you experienced in childhood wasn’t a happy one. So you were poisoned to feel that way about love. It’s only because you still are young and don’t know what love feels like that you don’t value it.
Girl it's fine. I'm 26 n Im still looking for a nice guy for my first relationship. I got dating experience now and know what I want. There are people who rush into relationship just for the sake of being in one only to realize later that they weren't right and break up when they can't take it anymore. Instead of wasting time like that, better wait till you come across the right guy that you can actually have a mature fruitful relationship with.
Just got left by the girl I thought I’d marry in my first commited relationship 18 months down the drain. She treats me like a stranger now I wish I was still a virgin and never met her. Don’t be quick to rush into something serious cause you want it really bad!
I love all you gents - but I think a female perspective is desperately needed here. Men can, generally speaking, find someone to marry pretty easily. May not be true forever fairytale love but it's pretty obvious the number of women who want to get married or be together long term vs the number of men wanting the same are not aligned. Matthew is also speaking from the privileged place of recently meeting the "love of his life" and may be lacking some objectivity. I've been a fan and follower for years but this one annoyed me. Guys, you don't get it. You just don't get it. Women are valued for their appearance above all. Period. Time "runs out" in a way you can't imagine. Not to mention the biological clock y'all do not have. Anyway, pls consider a female perspective with questions like this. 🖤🖤🖤
I think you got annoyed because some of the things he said might apply to you. I don't think it's about "the female perspective". There are men out there looking for love and feeling that the women that they come across are not interested in them because they're not rich. Not that that ever happened to me because I'm gay. And in the gay world, a lot of men want sex and only sex. But what Matt's talking about here is being grateful for what you have.
Katy, I think you are spot on. Age plays a big factor in a women's life. Physically, mentally, and emotionally all play into a women's life. We live in a culture where youth and beauty is focused on. We live in an age where ageism is very real.
Almost 35 and have never been in a committed relationship. I’ve dated and have been in situationships I have loved but never loved back. 😔 I have pretty much given up and have accepted I’ll be single forever.
😔 I’m so hopeless that all the guys I loved didn’t even care to name me as their girlfriend but just use me for free SxX. 😢I’m hopeless and it really tear down my mental well-being into depression
I know that must be painful. I can only say it's also painful to have started a relationship with high hopes and have it end in divorce. At least when your love story comes, it will be a fresh start and you'll have all of the wisdom and patience and capacity to love already baked in as you start your new journey. 🤍
I am dating and feeling so unhappy w the results. I’m 41 and was with my husband since I was 19. I don’t think anyone has ever loved me the way I should be loved. I hope as a romantic at heart that I find that someday soon.
Jesus said 'Whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32) Living in sin leads to hell. Repent, Turn away from sin, and believe in and follow Jesus Christ to be saved.
I'm 24 and I've never been in any relationship. This is what I needed to hear. When you said 'there's a version of yourself where you meet the love of your life tomorrow and they die in a car crash in 6 months,' that was deep. There's endless possibilities but we're focusing on only one. And the role models thing is definitely true. I discovered this myself quite recently. It's truly inspiring. Thanks Matt
I agree. Im 25 looking for a life partner, marriage, childern, god centered and never been any relationship and yet have been studying relationships and relwtionship skills, self awareness, NLP and been on my spiritual journey for 5 almost 6 years now. Ive made constant breakthroughs and been healing my inner child. I think im at the point where this is my only fear and this video really helped me look at other possibilities and to be patient with myself. Its not that I dont feel lovable everyone has generally shown how much they appreciate and love me. Its just that I havent met anyone mutually interested. Its really a gut punch to not see anyone on your spiritual wavelength and then not have them interested in you or unavaliable due to being in a relationship.
I broke up a couple of days ago and this thought is going mad in my brain right now. The rational part of my brain knows it isn’t true, but I’m going through all of the emotions right now. Before I went through with the break-up, I thought and journaled a LOT to start the grieving process early. This was one of my fears that forced me to hold him back. But, I told myself that I’m full of love. People are attracted to genuine love. When you have genuine compassion, empathy, humanity and love, you will never be alone or unhappy. Romantic relationships especially tend to be a crutch for empty, broken people. Instead of doing their inner work, they desperately search for someone else to do that work for them.
I've had love but he died 💔..but I still have hope to love again.. I love myself...to take risks because I've no control over what another does...and stop resisting change..I'm 68 and I embrace life!
I’m 43 and still single. A void is always in my heart everyday when I wake up. As much as some days suck, as my dad a disabled veteran taught me, Keep Moving Forward.
Did you have a gf before? I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before, never kissed or hugged a girl in real life. After having no luck on dating apps, I started messaging girls on Instagram who were in the same school as me and are 18-23 year olds(mostly 19-22) Last Sunday I tried asking out one of the girl who is 19 turning 20 in August for a coffee and she even agreed to meet up one day. We have been chatting on Instagram for a month and were in the same school too but different colleges now but suddenly 5 days ago she blocked me mysteriously but I could see her replies getting slower and shorter after I asked her out but I was sad because she gave me false hope and this was the first time a girl didn't reject me so it hit hard. Yesterday I tried asking out another girl for a coffee who was my childhood friend when we were in elementary school in 2008-2011. Now she is 21 turning 22 after 4 months and I feel I genuinely like her but she isn't that active on Insta so she didn't see or reply to the message yet in which I asked her out yesterday. I really hope she replies positively and agrees to meet up but I am scared that she might reject me too.
@@manosijroy8282even if she rejects you look at it as the dating apps, if you had zero luck on the dating app but some decent luck on Instagram hopefully it pushes you to go out there and ask a girl out in person, who knows, it may work out better than expected. Don't let the fear of rejection cause you to be in an anxiety of regretting
I'm gay and in the past I had wished I was straight and married and with children. Up until I befriended a couple of maried straight guys who told me they envied me because I was single and had no responsibility regarding children. And that blew my mind. So if you feel bad about your life, think that somewhere in the world someone wants what you have. Someone wants to be you.
@@juliestoryteller2383 oh, trust me. I understand the feeling. But like I said, maybe there's a straight guy out there wanting to be you. Single and free.
I'll always think of the single life to be a positive thing. I'm 33 and have been single for 7 years. I don't plan nor care to find anyone. I see it as one less hurtful thing for me to possibly go through.
I think dating must be harder for very beautiful people (as you are) because you will attract all sorts of douchebags. It's great to be happy being single.
same here. I only regret that I've never been in real love- like, I never experienced that mind-blowing feeling of losing your head, butterflies in your stomach, etc. if I only experienced that, I'd be content with being single forever.
@@anastasiab9506 I've never experienced that either. I've been in a few relationships that I don't think count as relationships because to me, I was with them but to them, they weren't with me if that makes sense. From the way things are going now with relationships I don't want to ever experience it to be honest because then you're relying on it to work out. Just too much.
I am 28, 29 in 2 months and i am single for 10 years 😪. I used to like being single, but now it becomes hard. I really want a family of my own and i can't seem to find a good partner. Most just want to date and have s3x, others already had children and didn't want more, some don't want children at all. I can't seem to find someone who wants to be in a relationchip and wants a future with kids. Wish i started looking for someone sooner.
I am surprised that there was so much positive feedback about this video... Of course, being single, comparing with people who die, is good. I 41 haven't found the love of my life yet either - although I'm sure there would be several right partners. I would also describe myself as a happy person who gets the best out of life but the point that has been forgotten here is that it is also unsettling not to have experienced a great love. It is insecure not to be loved and insecure that what you have to give is not of interest to others. And I have to honestly admit that I do admire some people for their light-heartedness in relationships. How nice it must be to have had only 1-2 heartbreaks....
Absolutely.. 39 here. I compliment myself for strength, and the push on self esteem, i feel i can stand cataclisms balancing on the tippy toes of one foot. 10 years no relationships just crappy people who even didnt want to name me girlfriend. 7 years no sex. It is disheartening. You look at others and constantly wonder what they have that you dont have. What is the secret. And yes, i often think nobody is interested in what i have to offer....
God bless you Mathew. I've been going through a very depressive phase of my life since my partner of 6 years decided to end things with me. It's only been a couple of months but I haven't made any progress in healing myself whatsoever. I just can't make sense of the fact that he gave up on me after going through so much together. Both of us struggled really hard to save our relationship but he still gave up on it. I tried therapy and what not (nothing seemed to work) but your videos really helped me a lot. You have no idea that you are actually saving a life through your work. Just wanted you to know that. Can't thank you enough. Can't thank God enough for sending his help through you. 💕
I am 23 and healing from my first ever heartbreak. As a very optimistic and sensitive person that sees only the best in people (or used to, now I'm turning bitter), the pain that somebody can cause you simply by being selfish and dishonest because they are a coward and dont want to let you go even though they KNOW they are not good for you and don't love you but still choose to waste your time... It caught me by surprise. It was a DISASTER. Left me with so much stress and anxiety and sorrow. Daily crying, being very neurotic and getting angry easily. I feel like the world betrayed me. Like I was drained and now I have no more kindness to give to strangers. Why should I, when people take it and than bring you to your knees? I'm at a point where I decided to change my plan A, which was to focus on building a family and home with somebody, and instead gonna focus on my career. At 35 when I'm financially stable I'm going for in vitro fertilization and gonna be a single mom. I don't think I could make it work even if the right person showed up - I wouldnt be able to trust them and that would be the downfall. I'm just so done.
You have a good plan for if you Don't meet (the One); Superior my dear! Now that you have that, you can have the Confidence to go after whoever you like & discard who you don't until the Right person comes along! Keep your plan, & keep having fun (& staying Safe!!) looking for the right one👍❤️
Hey girl.I am very sorry about what you experienced. I am 21 and I also recently experienced heartbreak .Just like you I was naive and my so called boyfriend ended up dumping me like I was some piece of trash .Just remember one thing what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I really hope you heal and find courage 🙏.
The difference is, you're young and you have an optional aim. All I've ever wanted, was real love and at age 42 I know, that there's nothing I also burn for. I have joy in my life, doing various things, but all of that doesn't fill that gap. I'd give up all of that immediately for a real love.
How do you explain to your child that he or she wasn't produced in a God blessed union between a husband and a wife. Don't be so selfish and do that to a child.
I"m scared too! I am 48. I have no kids and I have never been married. I feel like I may destined to die alone. I try to keep the hope alive, but it's very discouraging!
Welcome to the matrix. This is Morpheus. The true reason why many of you are single is the feminist evil unjustice system. Men have competely checked out. It's your reality now, change it or leave it as it is.
I met a woman a week ago who’s 80 and only started being with her current partner 2 years ago. She is more vivacious than a lot of women in their 20s I’ve met. Romance and love are tremendous things, but there’s so much more to life than that, and we can’t miss out of the rest of life waiting for romance.
Ugh that is such good advice and exactly what I need to hear. It’s so easy to become pessimistic in love…but you’ll never find it that way. Keep yourself open to the possibility but more importantly make the most out of life while you can. Nobody gets out here alive.
@Spots Corner I can’t help you. I admit we can be awful sometimes but there are lots of women out there just waiting for some proactive male attention.
@Spots Corner i totally understand you and you understand me. Why because like yourself despite being years apart, I'm 24 and I have 0 dates, relationships and 0 kids because to girls I'm not physically attractive and rich for their approval. That's why I always feel ugly, unwanted, hideous, invisible and empty inside. The one thing that I regretted years ago is asking girls out because I knew before that happened, they would reject me, lie to me and ghost me. Despite me working for over 4 years, that never enough to show them that I never cared about their money, nor their looks. Greed and popularity has corrupted their minds for decades, that landed them single and in jail. All this is why I gave up because I'm tired of getting the same results, despite me trying to do things the right way.
I always try to listen to you guys. At 68 I don't know if I'll ever love romantically again - but hey, two years ago I met someone online & had as hot a time as I've ever had. Then a year later there was the break-up, and I shared all my angst with this community. I agree there are many many kinds of love. But do you notice that if you say "I feel love", this simple statement doesn’t specify the source of the love - it could be from inside you, radiating outwards, or from some other outside source, and you are the recipient. I'm beginning to think that maybe it doesn't matter where it comes from - because when I feel the love, I feel it, no matter where it comes from ❤
I needed to hear this. The words I typed in the search engine was actually meant to find more proof of my inability to find love, but instead this was the first video that appeared, and it really made me think of my situation differently, even if just a little. Being 45, never finding love, always being the one not chosen becomes a heavy cross to bear. So, thank you for providing me with a different perspective on this matter.
I'm not that far behind you. I'm 40 and never been able to find anyone and never "chosen" by anyone. It's odd though because there are many things out there that people have that I wouldn't envy not even for a second yet just as soon as I see them with their wife or family, that's when I instantly become jealous of it. I wonder what do they have that I don't? I wonder what sort of things make them attractive to the other person? What sort of behavior, sentence, or whatever they did that would make them be able to have this life and be able to share it with someone else? It's always baffling to me and I just don't get it.
Damn. I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and I feel the FOMO so much. I hardly get matches on dating apps and even if I get one, I get ghosted most of the time and 2 of my crushes in my college too rejected me few months ago. I also chat with some girls on Instagram whom I knew in high school days and they are all 19-22 year olds now but most of them ended up ghosting me too except one sweet girl who is 20 year old and she is nice to me. We were in the same school too but now in different colleges in the same city and we send each other virtual hugs and she calls me cute but she said she is already in a relationship but idk whether she lied about it because she is still being flirty to me.
I’m 41 and still believe in love, but from my point of view, since becoming 40+ I would rather date an older man than men my own age or younger (not that it’s not possible) But from my experience dating men my age, is now a no go. I hope you’ll find your hope again 🌸
@@Whoeverwhateverwhenever there’s truth in that and also older men (but not all) seems to be more serieus. I don’t know how to discribe it in good English
@@starzintheskyz4477 Do you want kids? I don't and it's NOT easier for me since most guys do want to have kids, so a childfree woman is a turn-off for many of them.
You know with I say after being single seven and a half lifetimes .. "I don't know anything, I'm just grateful." All cycles no matter how long do come to an end. 🙏😇🤗💜❣️
This just touched my heart especially because just last night I was very emotional crying looking at picture of my mother and sister who passed away at age 54 and 30 and me being 55, successful, wonderful kids, lots of friend, great life was feeling exactly the same will I ever be in love. Why don’t I have what my other friends have in life but listening to this podcast I realize everyday of my life is a bonus and here I am complaining to myself about what I don’t have my sister would have just been grateful if she lived to see 55. Thank you for your message❤
My husband left after 17 years; I was devastated yes, however, things switched in my mind -behaviour and outlook when I decided to celebrate those 17 years and be glad, I had them. I've moved on and I cannot believe, how much life has given back to me because I chose not to be vindictive or drag out things.
I feel her SO much. Also, my Aunt died alone having never been married or having kids or family or anyone around her. It's actually not uncommon. it's not "catastrophizing" & to compare her circumstance against not being on a battle field? So she should be grateful? Come on now, Matt. You speak about hope in the past but then contrarily say we should essentially be grateful for the "bonuses' because we're still living at out older age? The answer to her question should be bluntly - people do die alone & they can die lonely.
I appreciate your attempt to answer the question with kindness and compassion. However, as a fellow 46yo, I understand her query. I found the response to be lacking in understanding (perhaps due to lack of time on this earth/experience) and did feel a bit invalidating of her experience.
There's a great article in the book "This is Me Letting You Go" that addresses this. It asks you to truly imagine KNOWING FOR SURE that you'll never find love. How will that change you today? It inspired me so much I got up and revamped my CV on the spot! Basically the answer is self love - the same answer we get to any kind of grief: being dumped, dealing with abandonment issues, going through depression... all of it leads to self love, and self love is the answer to everything. Talk to yourself and treat yourself as if you are the love of your life - the only permanent one - because YOU really are the only person there for you no matter what happens!
Matthew, you have a way of making the video I need right when I need it. The point that jumped out to me with this one was the one about living out your life single vs..not getting to live it out. Also, it's always good to be reminded not to compare your blooper reel to someone else's highlight reel
Matthew, you are a brilliant genius! At 68, I've been widowed almost 10 years. I haven't dated anybody at all since then. I Would like a partner, but I sm so terrified of rejection that I am paralyzed. I was physically/sexually refused by my late husband for years, even though we were emotionally close, good friends, compatible and got along well. He had a long-term illness--health condition and I took care of him the last several years of his life. I haven't taken any action to meet anyone or date. I am fearful of the same situation happening again. Especially in my age range. But I am a normal, decent woman in reasonably good health, and I feel that I deserve some kind of romantic and loving relationship of some type. I do have loving and caring family and friends in my life. I have & do things that I enjoy tremendously. I am fortunate. More than many others. This put things into focus for me.
8 billion people on this planet and I have never been in a serious relationship I fear of being alone and never finding love at almost 42..but I'm very optimistic that God has someone for me. I just need to trust Him. Have a positive mindset. ✨️
Why? Not being in a relationship isn't the end of the world! Why do I need a relationship to be happy, fulfilled, successful, safe, or any other adjective. Why not be happy and love yourself? What if you were your source of love and anyone who comes into your life is just a bonus?
@@RiverWoods111 it's good, when that's enough for you. For other people it's not fulfilling. I tried so many times to focus on thoughts like that. But there's always a gap, that won't fill and it's so huge, I can't ignore. It doesn't work out for me. It's not the truth, I'm not happy without a romantic relationship. And no friendship or selflove can fill this hole, cause that's the only thing, what would make me feel happy and alive.
@@RiverWoods111 you are missing what she is saying. Be happy on your own yes, but ALSO dont remove the thought of finding love in your mind. You can accept a solo life with an open mind also.
@@RiverWoods111 we're social beings and having a mate enriches your life, makes you grow, challenges you, pushes your buttons. It's a beautiful experience to have someone by your side you can go through this adventure called life. And I wish you that no matter how reluctant you may be 😉
I think people attract the love they’re capable of giving. I also think too many people place their entire value on their chronological age instead of their biological or epigenetic age. Focusing on self improvement, health and goals allow us to see beyond shallow societal expectations.
Absolutely loved the shared perspective in this video. Love really does come to us in a myriad of ways if we are open and are paying close attention. In general it is hard for us to focus on deep non romantic relationship when what we are feeling is lack or scarcity. Love is diverse and varying and as such There are fulfilling connections that come in a variety of ways and are just as important.
At an early age I made peace with never finding "the one lasting love" given my grandma didn't have a loving husband at the end of her life but that didn't mean she didn't die surrounded by love and warmth from friends and family.
Why would you compare your life with others? your life is ur own experience that has nothing to do with ur grandma, mom, me or anyone in this comment section
My life has a lot to do with my grandma. She taught me what unconditional love was and her family and friends are also my family and friends. Didnt mean to make anyone upset I only want less anxiety and fear over dying without find "the one".
I'm only 31 but I have met people I loved dearly but at the end of the day, they were their own person even some wanted to marry me but we were just not compatible. It's not the worst thing to die being single.
Consider this incredibly important piece of wisdom from *Love and Relationships* a free online book by Marshall Vian Summers: "Do not worry that you are getting older. Do not let that drive your decisions. If you are not meant to meet the significant partner for three years, let Us say as an example, what are you going to do in the next three years? Go in and out of relationship, experience frustration, heartbreak, anger, resentment, disappointment, burning up your life over engagements that have no promise, while the Four Pillars of your life remain undeveloped and unrecognized? Can you be out of relationship for three years while you are building other aspects of your life? If you cannot, then you have a problem with personality addiction, and this has nothing to do with real relationships. This is a personality disorder. Can you face loneliness and emptiness? Or must you have constant stimulation, constant romance, constant infatuation-and with it all the disappointment, frustration and disapproval that this generates? You will waste your life and other people’s lives doing this. Yet it is not necessary, you see. Constant searching, constant hoping and [waiting] for someone-this is pointless and unnecessary, you see. For when you are ready, Knowledge will bring into your life the individual that you need and the people that you need for other parts of your life."
How about falling in love with yourself so deeply that if you never meet that person, you will die having lived a happy joyous life. Although, I think it might be fun to have a long-term relationship, if it never happens, I will have a great life anyway. To be honest, I am in the greatest relationship I could ever have with myself. I am perfectly contented living my life alone! If I find someone who compliments my life and is fun to be with, then great. If I don't I have everything I ever need! There is nothing, but companionship that a man can bring to my life. I don't need a man for money. I can fix anything in my house. I can kill spiders. I can fix my car on my own. I enjoy traveling alone. I take myself out on dates. I often buy myself flowers on Valentine's days and spend the day doing my favorite thing, creating art. I don't feel like I need a man to protect me, because I always have my own back. I love myself and am in love with who I have become in my lifetime. To be honest, my biggest complaint about men is that most of them don't love themselves enough to just be with someone like me. They get all insecure because I don't need them. I won't date a man that is so needy to need a woman. Who expects me to fill his cup, so why would I expect him to fill my cup! We need to let go of the needing a man to be happy! When we go through life with the attitude of what if I never find the or a MAN that will fill my empty hole in my heart to fulfil me and make me happy. We are in fact going into every date needy as F*ck! No wonder you can't find a MAN to love you. All he hears is ME, ME, ME! You need to be my happiness, you need to be my safety, you need to be my joy, you need to be my stability, you need to be my _______, & ________, & ______. I promise you that man is walking away going damn *beach* is needy AF! Work on loving you, and when you have found that kind of love then if you do find a man or you don't find a man it won't matter. If you are needy and need a man to be happy then every man you get involved with will fail, and you will walk away blaming him for not being your savior.
Holy hell, this is exactly what I needed to read and you are so, so right. Many women (and maybe men but I can only speak for myself as a woman) feel like our lives and worth aren't validated unless we have a man. In my logical mind I know this is utter rubbish, but my insecure self kind of buys into it and I want to change it. May I ask, do you have any practical tips or nuggets of wisdom for getting to a place of genuine self acceptance and self-love? I am trying but tis proving to be very hard, especially after a long relationship and rather drawn-out and traumatic break-up.
@@Ginmabes I do a lot of meditation. I also spent some years just focusing on other areas of my life. It is important if you are too focused on a certain area, that you will block it. Therefore, focus on the other areas and take the focus from it till you have healed enough that it doesn't dominate all your thoughts. Again, meditation and mindfulness are huge. My last relationship/marriage was toxic as hell and when I got out of that relationship, I swore to myself that I wouldn't date till I had fixed whatever the hell it was within me that would allow a man to treat me in that manner. Beyond meditation and mindfulness, I also do DBT, ACT, ENDR which are all therapies for trauma. ACT stands for Accountability Commitment Therapy. DBT: Dialectical Behavior Therapy. ENDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I now use the EMDR as part of my meditation time, not the whole meditation, but the first part of it. Personally, I am beginning to believe that all humans should have these therapies! Haha! I started getting them after my Autism diagnosis & ADHD. They are the best therapies for autistics, but also PTSD and any trauma, bullying, abusive relationships, parent/family issues and honestly anything. ACT and DBT both teach mindfulness/meditation too. EMDR is something you can learn to implement into your mindfulness/meditation like I do. The funny part was from that spot I then went into a space of thinking, "a man would be fun to have, but he needs his own house to go home to. Because I alone time way too much to give it up. Now I am at the point of thinking, "Well if one comes along who has his own RV and wants to travel either full-time with me or most of the time, then great!" I can honestly tell you; I won't let a man move in with me or me in with him for a long time. I want to see what a real person is. I also will always have my own place, my own bank accounts, and my own finances. It is called respecting myself enough to care for me first!
I think this is the best mindset, not everything in life is about having a relationship. Being in one can make you extremely happy or miserable and being single doesn't mean you're less happy, it's just a different life where like you say you can take the opportunity to focus entirely in yourself. I believe that whatever happens in life, the person you will always have for sure loving you and supporting you is yourself, so we better give ourselves some love. I like you have travelled alone, can fix things on my own, have my own money and house.. we don't really need a partner to survive, we might want it to enrich our life even more if its the right person.. but it's not a requirement for happiness. There's so much we can do in life that doesn't involve a relationship, we can do many things to enrich our lives with hobbies and interests, travels and friendships. I totally resonate with you, I spent 5 years single and all you say is what I did and it's been one of the best moments of my life, feeling independent emotionally and in control, happy by myself. I promised to myself that I'd be single for as long as possible until I learned how to be alone and happy and until I could find someone worth the time, if it never came I was just accepting of that, I still have many things ahead of me single or not. But I just now found a partner which is the right person for me and my life is changing again, but sometimes I miss my singleness and freedom. And also now I know that if everything goes wrong in this relationship I will always have myself, so I think I'll be OK whatever happens and this gives an incredibly amount of confidence.
@@shemseh Exactly! You totally get it!!!! I sometimes think that I want a man who has his own house so I can send him there when I need alone time! LOL
I studied for 8th years, got a child , earned money, become artist and poet. Disaster in relationship stops me from achieving greater success and money. Still they're wanting to date me even I'm 59. But I find most of man miserable karakters that are floating around in life. Im very content and happy. I didn't date since my 40 and I didn't miss. If happens that I meet great friend who can make my elevation of happiness I will accept.
Im 38, I hope I find someone and have a child of my own. My patient mom says I’m old and she’s 30 and calls me grandma. But listening to your video gives me comfort and hope. It makes me feel better 😢
You lot all sound the same.. like a script you've ingested. Your being played and you don't even know it. They want discord and the sexes to be disillusioned with each other. Less babies and a more atomised, weak, materialistic society 💀So easier to rule over.. and women had children up to 46/47 in the olden days. 30 is actually young.
I’m with Sheryl because I’m 62. And although I’ve never found love after two abusive relationships, but I’ve found a great man friend and we have a great symbiotic relationship. I don’t love him but he’s a great friend and we both like the same things. We live together and don’t fight so I feel blessed that we can help each other towards the end of our lives. ❤
I had a conversation about this with a friend 10+ years ago. Admittedly, I was having a bit of a pity party. He asked what I was looking for in a man. I listed off some things. His reply was...who gives you A?, and I named someone. He asked...who gives you B?, and I named someone. We continued down the list. At the end he told me I had everything I needed, it just wasn't rolled into one package. He was absolutely right and I've never looked back. It's perspective. I am just fine being alone. I have everything I need.
Don't let that belief be in your mind tell yourself the opposite even if it takes you forever to believe changing your mindset doesn't happen instantly it takes time! While you don't have that relationship look at all the great love you do have from a child, parents, friendships! You realize you have a lot of love that attracts more love! Love attracts love, negativity attracts negativity!
Mid 40s here and still solo. I've had the opportunity to explore the world travelling, have explored several cities to live in, and have had various jobs. I have great fun with my friends and meaningful collaborations with my colleagues. "Happy enough" is a good thing.
Damn man did you have a gf before? I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and yet to get my first kiss. I started going for some classes to prepare for some exams to get into an MBA B School as I just graduated college 3 weeks ago and I am planning to study MBA next. There in the class, I got crush on this girl who is also 22 or maybe 23 now. She tries to initiate conversations with me and say me hi but I just say her hi back and answer what she asks but I am still shy to initiate any further talks with her. Almost 2 weeks ago, she actually said that I am cute and that made me blush a lot and today I gave her chocolate too. I was really shy but with my friends being with me, I gave her the chocolate and she thanked me with a smile and we did a handshake. I do feel a bit worried as she has 2-3 male friends in our class so I feel scared thinking what if she goes for either of them. Also in this Saturday, me and a girl who is 19 year old now planned to meet in a McDonald's near her college. We used to be in the same school but didn't know each other in school days and we just have been kinda knowing each other for several months via Instagram. I have never been on a date or even a normal hang out with a girl so I am nervous. I am also worried whether she is really serious about hanging out with me on Saturday or she is joking as I just got rejected by several girls before. I am afraid that what if I mess up or something. I am hoping things will be fine and it won't get cancelled. I also asked out my childhood friend 3 months ago and she is 21 turning 22 soon and even she agreed to meet up but she is very inactive on Instagram so she takes weeks or even a month to reply to my messages so she still haven't replied when we can exactly meet.
I kept this channel open for almost 24hrs wanting to suggest this topic: Being over 55 AND having a chronic 24/7 illness. One that steals your life in all the ways one could think of. I only wish it had taken my mind so I couldn’t realize that I have no one nor have a real chance of finding real intimate love. The Gandalf quote was surprisingly good advice. Yet it still brings be no comfort. I’m 57 and have had a chronic illness for over 25 yrs and that has made me a prisoner on my own home. I see one doctor once a month and the mailman on occasion. Even if I meet someone I don’t want to burden them with someone like myself that can’t function in life in anyway that’s normal or even to be good companionship. If you have your health you have so much! So even if you haven’t found love yet BUT have your health, then you have a chance.❤ Well there’s my jumbled comment for the world to see…🥴 I will be one of those stories that someone died but no one found out for weeks later. PS I have my 90 year old mother and a son who has his own life to say simply. . So finding a close and fulfilling love amongst family is very slim for various reasons. I can’t find anything on love while being sick. I wish I could suggest this topic to the channels that have good level headed advice.
Hey Susan I hope you feel okay .. I'm 27 but my health is not that good too , and I feel like I'm having the same scenario as yours But you don't have to he completely alone, i attend support groups meetings online everyday and they actually make a difference, also the vast majority of people I encounter there are over 50
@@basmahendy5431 I was surprised that anyone made sense of my post.😂 I was wondering were can I find those online groups? I hope you see this. Thank you for your supportive comment. I’m sure you will find someone that is really good for you. You have youth and that does help. Although I was pretty young when I started to get sick and I remember how hard that was. I hope you will stay positive. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏🏻💖🌼
Susana, I hope you know there's someone out there who will love you even if you're ill, even if you're mostly over the computer screen. Please know that when you love someone it's not a burden, it's a joy to love and care for them! That's true of you, too!
35, never been loved or in a relationship. Rejection over 50 times. One thing I have learned in life, Walking the Lonesome Road is a better choice than chasing after the Concept of Love. A Solitude lifestyle is not a bad thing, at least I have my freedom and finances are stabled.
I am kinda in the same boat as you but just 7 rejections so far. I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and never even hugged or kissed a girl in real life. I got rejected very recently by 3 girls( rejected by 7 girls in total so far tho). These 3 girls were all in the same school as me but now in different colleges and we had been chatting on Instagram for months. One of them who is 19 turning 20 in August even agreed to meet up after I asked her out few weeks ago but she blocked me mysteriously after few days whereas another girl blocked me immediately after I asked her out. Few days ago I tried asking out another girl who is 20 now and we had been chatting on Instagram for 2-3 months but she rejected me saying that even though I am really nice, she just isn't comfortable to meet up with me and it hit me hard. But there is still some hope as I asked out my childhood friend too who is 21 now turning 22 after 3-4 months. We were very close friends when we were in elementary school in 2008-2011. But she isn't that active on Instagram so she still didn't see that message in which I asked her out so still no reply yet. I am still waiting for her reply and hoping a positive reply as I genuinely like her a lot but idk.
I want to add also this comment ( I’m the one that didn’t meet someone til I was 68 in Manhattan) that your pain and disappointment on not meeting someone is real. Yes you will focus on things that bring you pleasure, job, friends, family. But what is missing is real. I was without it til I was 68 and I made the best of things but I knew I was missing “joy “. I accepted it but longed just the same. It makes it worse when people make light of what is missing in your life. Some people really ache for what is missing. It is real and that shouldn’t be down played or denied. It’s an inconvenient truth. And that can change in a moment. Absolutely. Keep you eyes open, stay mindful and aware and don’t be afraid to send out a smile to someone who spark sleep your interest. A simple smile can change your life.
Hi friend, Are you trying to attract or win back your Ex, specific person (SP), restore a broken Relationship marriage, reunite with your soulmate/twin flame or banish a third party From your relationship.Dr peter is the best .💯😍
I grow up in Christianity . Something that I always hated was the “you’ll find someone” “God has someone for you.” Because it does create a “reality” out of a wish . I am 36 now and I am single . Now I understand yea, I might never find a person I like enough to share my life with. That’s a possibility BUT it is not a reality. Finding a person is not a guarantee , but never finding one is not a guarantee either ! We need to learn to enjoy our lives with positivity, not a toxic one like the one I was taught in Christian church but we need to stay open, we need to keep hoping. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring . Also, many people we know are married now … how can we guarantee they’ll stay married the rest of their lives ? How do we know one of them won’t cheat on the other? Not even getting married in your 20’s guarantees you’ll be with a partner forever . Let’s not compare ourselves with others ❤
No. It means nothing other than that bbeettaa males exist. Which is why I always say women have such a huge advantage in dating, it's not even funny. A woman can still be 300lb and she can still find a ssuucckkeerr. You think a 300lb man can? Please.
I’m 50 and been through the mill after a failed marriage and then a relationship where he was very dishonest…I’ve learnt since the last heartbreak to look after me and I’ve got to the point as a single mum to enjoy single life and I don’t need anyone if he comes along he does if he doesn’t I’m happy where I am…and I’d rather be single then in the wrong relationship, the biggest mistake people make is thinking they need someone else to make them happy it’s too much pressure on someone else to live up to that love yourself and you won’t need anyone even if your in a relationship or not
I am also 51 and apart from dating here and there, haven’t been in a serious relationship since 37. I am very social, but have only ever met younger men, because men my age are in happy relationships, not going out anymore apart from hanging out with other couples or cannot sustain a healthy(which is why they are single). Unfortunately at our age we need to be realistic and accept this. This isn’t the same as giving up, because most of us are still open to considering men we meet (only to spot the wedding ring, haha)
Romantic love is just one of many ways we might be able to experience love! The world needs all of us to GIVE more love... To everyone we meet. From our neighbor to our coworkers and people who's lives we only hear about on the news. Start by trying to GIVE love to begin with...wherever you can. Wherever its needed, and even when it might seem like it isn't... Just enjoy giving love. All else will come.
I love the principle behind Matthew’s advice, some of it struck a chord, yet there’s a small part of me that does mentally rebel against it because that part of me is entitled, ungrateful and resentful, even though I try to manage that part of me as best I can whilst reminding myself that I’m very lucky in various other ways. I can have many happy moments in a life without romance, but it so often returns to a pain that there’s no alternative solution to, so while I really appreciate everyone’s efforts in this video, I don’t know if I can wholeheartedly adopt the ideology because for where I am right now, it feels a little bit disingenuous and unrealistic. Perhaps that may change at some point.
I used to feel the same way about it. And while yes it may never happen and some part of me may regret possibilities never taken, a lot of the major pain I've found comes from a lack of self love on my part and emotional lack from childhood. As I took steps to give myself what I kept hoping someone else might, it's put things into perspective a bit more. Maybe this is not the case for you, but the more you know and all that.
@@mads6847 Helpful, thanks Mads. In my case I wouldn’t say this is a childhood thing, but I had a large period of life where romance didn’t interest me at all and now I’ve got to a stage where I really do want it but because of the above I don’t always feel like I have the skills to make it happen.
I feel the same way. I feel like hope is often given by people who don't need hope. On the other hand, on what basis can you trust the words of someone who is also basing their belief that they'll find someone, on hope alone? It's a double edged sword
How is it that I feel I took most things said in this video to heart and still cannot get past. The idea that not loving or being loved is the most horrible thing that can happen
Unfortunately its a possibility. Surely you can always find someone but finding the actual love thats another level. If it doesnt happen, life will be boring. If it does, it will be anything but boring, but also quite likely dramatic. Lets face it, 99% of couples run their course around 10 years. I dont wanna drama or a dull relationship without passion
Sometimes I feel like I’m not meant to have that forever love. Maybe I’m here to learn how to live with just myself. You just never know. Life is what we make of it, I suppose. 🤷🏼♀️
I empathize with the question. I’m in a similar boat. However, I have experienced so many different variations of ❤ I have a hard to believing she has an open heart. Bc I find it hard to believe that’s not a contradiction in terms. An open heart is always in love! I’m hopeful as she clearly still is. And I have my doubts too. Let’s keep opening our hearts to the mysteries and possibilities ✨ In fact! Our great love stories are more likely to occur later in life when we actually know ourselves and have quieted the chaos of our minds so our hearts can be more fully present. Yes, jaded and fearful perhaps. But that’s something we can overcome. The truth is we are more capable when we possess the wisdom. Be intentional and trust the universe.
I believe that a relationship will last, as long as the relationship is 100 % working with your needs met, and what you’re looking for in a relationship, is what you’re actually getting to make you feel happy with the person you’re with 😊
I’ve had three beautiful romances in my life, after 13 years in an abusive relationship. I’m currently single and healing from heartbreak. I’m 42, have two beautiful sons and great family and friends. A lovely man is the cherry on the cake. I love me. Comparison is the root of unhappiness. The people who love you and care about you will NEVER leave. Not caring what everyone else is doing is key.
This is really one time I don't agree with Matthew. So, I have to console myself that I am not dying or that I am not in prison or whatever horrible scenario I can think of because I am sad that I am single forever and probably stay single until I die? I like myself and I like my life but I feel it would be much more pleasant and much less lonely if I had a partner. I have so much to give and no one to love. It's not just "well, at least I am not dying", it's really painful! It makes you think there is something wrong with you when no one wants to stay with you, when you can't find love, when you are alone for 50 years of life! And everyone I meet and go to date either ghosts me, or has some awful demands or wants just plain and simple "just fun" and nothing else.. . I am so sick and tired of dating world, so tired of being forever alone, and it's quite insulting to basically call that feeling "ungrateful" because well, I am not dying. I will die, one day, surrounded by cats, alone, and my cats will probably eat my body and die later by being abandoned and not fed or be killed. How is that better than having loving soul next to you? I have to travel all alone and pay almost double because apparently travelling alone should be punished by much higher prices. I have no one to talk to, to be intimate with, to tell a joke, to laugh with... And that's not fun anymore. Yes, sure, being single for a year or two or even more can be fun and cute but at over 50 being single for 15 years is NOT FUN!
Absolutely. Do bear in mind that the culture has changed drastically in the past 20 years and men are not secure anymore financially. They are not the men that used to be. It’s not you.
My mom found love again in her 60's. Got married at 63, she's still happily married with the love of her life.
My mom, too! 🤍 Not only that, but he's been more of a father to me at my big grown age than anyone else ever has.
My brother is 42 and his gf is 60. He’s 6’5 and she’s 5’ lol they’re never getting married but they’ve been together for 6 or 7 years now. She’s actually the best thing that could have happened to him. I’m happy for them.
At that point though you don't have to worry about the question of kids.
Thats what I believed but the wicked world destroyed that after my 20 30 40s being a hopeless romantic fool . It also seemed to me the world stopped believing in love married women friends would explained how it more a partner more of a status and control thing sex is given in exchange , I would not accept a relationship that is made of anything else .
I am also 51 and I lost my husband in January 2022. We were together almost 30 years. He was the love of my life, my best friend, my soulmate, but I know he would not have wanted me to be sad and alone. Of course, I am sad. I miss him terribly. But I refuse to live the rest of my life alone and without love. Now I know I probably will not find the type of love he showed me, but I have so much love to give and I look forward to loving again some day. Until then, I love my daughters, my grandchildren and my friends and family. This year has not been easy, but I'm still trying to love. ♥
I know it must hurt like nothing else, but my gosh you are so lucky to have had that 30yrs and family. I personally never even got that.
Dear Anita, human life can be so harsh, our hearts get broken. Say good bye to your soul mate after 30 years, I cant imagine your pain. But you are so brave, your desire to love is so moving... I wish you and your family the very best xoxox
❤️❤️❤️
I wish you endless love and happiness🙏❤️💕💕💕
You were blessed❤
For this person: my friend found the LOVE OF HER LIFE, a fabulous relationship in her 50s. And it was so worth the wait. Keep focusing on your own journey, LIVE LIFE.
❤
That's great but many people might not make it to their 50s and will have never been in a "fabulous" relationship with anyone. Once you meet someone, your age isn't really important and your life before isn't really relevant any longer. Those that don't find someone will just go on without ever knowing what is or what could have been.
❤
I’m 41 and have been single for over 5 years, yeah it sucks but after watching this, I should be grateful I didn’t waste those 5 years in meaningless relationships 😂
Damn Straight babe, you're just fine no matter what😉👍❤️
I'm four years single @ 57 after a very compels 20 year "thing" I'd love aspecial friend to share stuff with but I can't do a relationships even struggle with family stuff right now...... at 41 your so young and there's loads of time for you yet xx I'm hoping to have an indian summer and maybe smile again.
Far better off!! I've watched how unhealthy relationships wreak havoc on people's soul, health, finances, kids, families, even their communities. It is far better to work on ourselves and date mindfully than destroy ourselves and others living in a toxic relationship/marriage.
I'm 10 year single and celibate. If you think your lives is boring, well what about mine lols😁but I still cling to hope that someday, I get to meet a good match😉
I know, right? The older I get, the more I'm afraid of wasting time. I really want to live my life while I'm alive.
I’ve been single for five years. It sucks but on the flip side it would suck more if I was in a relationship with the wrong person or settled for a guy just so that I’m not “single”.
Some coupled up people are envious of the single people. I've been single for 10 years. I'm 55, and to be honest, the state of the male species these days is worrying. They are mostly, in my experience, avoidant, unwilling to commit to a relationship. They are fear ridden after divorce and want to keep their options open. I am an attractive 55 year old. Independent, open to a relationship. Won't be holding my breath. Just live your best life . Get a dog, stay healthy, do what you love
I totally had this epiphany earlier this week. I’m 29, so still young with time, but sometimes it feels like I won’t find the love I’m looking for. It can be a little hard seeing everyone else my age getting married and having kids, but also recognize that grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side. I do already make my life amazing everyday through doing what I love, and being around people I love. And I already have ‘marriages’ in my life- the things in life that I love unconditionally and will undoubtedly have forever, even if those things are not a romantic love.
Thank you for sharing this, I’m turning 23 and I feel the same way. I’m deep into my studies and feel that people won’t understand my lifestyle but I find myself continuing to love what I do and spend it with friends who push me forward.
Relationships aren’t always happiness. But it does challenge you to grow outside yourself and see things from a different perspective. Sometimes you meet someone who turns your world around upside down in good ways. Sometimes worst. But at least you opened yourself up deeper then before and let your heart be more free
@Spots Corner that’s because you lack the confidence inside you to go for what you want. I had a hard breakup at 27 after 5 year relationship. I said to myself screw this and slept with women first date one after another. You do this by being honest with what you want. Women either go for it or not. If not you move on. If yes it’s on. It’s easier then you think. You just over complicate it. And if they are that open about it, then you live honestly with them relationship wise. Women are sleeping around. Don’t believe otherwise. Dating doesn’t lead into relationships. Dating leads to more dating. Honesty leads to relationships. You just talk to a girl and see if you two enjoy talking. Then you just straight out say what you want like I’m only looking for relationship not friendship. I’ll date you but only if you see the possibility of going further and think the same way and not because you were screwed over by guys but because you think we can connect at another level. That’s direct honest and to me more romantic then the let’s see what happens and spend tons of money on girl so she’ll be impress and keep me. Whatever money you spend, a richer guy or hornier guy can spend more. Women will be more impressed by directness and honesty
@@Chris-ey7zy 👏👏👏
@@divine1562 it’s always about connection. You either feel it and she feels it or it will fall apart easily
Life is fickle. People put so much emphasis on romantic relationships. Even if you find the perfect partner, that could be taken away in an instant. The only thing you have control over is creating happiness within yourself. That's the only thing that will last you a lifetime.
But my love language is physical touch. Being single is so hard coz no one hug me nor kiss me to make me feel loved 😞
i couldt carless about love the word the feeling means notin to me
i intend on being single for the rest of my life
romantic love seems so nice, have always wanted to experience that. maybe next life.
I'm only 26 and I already have the fear of ending up alone when I'm old. I value it a lot when both partners try their best to keep the relationship going forever and not give up on each other during tough times (except for betrayal and such). However, in today's world, people don't think ahead and they can be very impulsive or superficial. I'm just hoping that I'll have a long lasting relationship with my current partner. And I hope, everyone out there, who wants such kind of a relationship will have it too!
Wish u all the best!
Hey Tuba you are really pretty :)
Iam 34
43 and just got married for the first time! ❤I was so scared it wouldn’t happen but now change a thing because it brought me to my husband and his kids
Thank you for sharing this! What a lovely, encouraging thing. 🤍
Enjoy.. you deserve it.
I thought the same thing after the end of a twenty-five year marriage and at 53 had been on dozens of lackluster first dates until a few months ago I had an amazing first date where we closed the bar down talking for hours and are now in the beginnings of a wonderful healthy relationship where I feel like a teenager again at times. It may come when you least suspect it, keep trying, don't give up and stay open while you live your best life! 🙏🏻❤️
Excellent babe, so happy for you! I hope this is the IT for you!! ❤️👍
You deserve it...
Did it work out? x
Thanks Matthew! I'm 33 and I've been single since right 30.
My previous relationships were toxic and I was very emotional attaching to them. Since 30, I realized that the whole toxic relationships come from my childhood that I grown up in a toxic family. Since then, I no longer being too emotional with guys around. It's fine to have a crush on a coworker, It's ok to hook up w a guy but I'm not too emotional attached to them. I'm okay when it's over.
Now just let it be. I find different forms of love in small things, in kind people. Some day , love may come to me , may be not. It's all right. Living and enjoying life in the present: self love, work, travel, solitude, nature, hobbies, etc...
🕊☮
I’m 27 , and I do feel the same way. I’m glad there are others like me in the world
This is exactly what's happening for me right now!! Feels like I've been chasing the idea of love and a partner my whole life. I love how at ease you are with finding love or maybe not, that's what I'm aiming for too, I just want to be at peace for once 🌻
Sounds more like you are overreacting because of your toxic tendencies. Just find a partner that isn’t toxic. Raise your expectations on who you date. You are just using guys and guys are using you. That isn’t loving yourself or anyone else
You turned avoidant. I see a long path of loneliness ahead of you.
@@estelao.b.1473 lol that's not being avoidant, it's actually reclaiming who you are and finding safety and love within yourself. That's actually crucial to meeting a good partner, don't spread this misinformation.
I don’t think I’ll ever find love at 54 but it’s really hard when all you seem to do is run into men that are dishonest 😮
Dishonest (to me) as in, standards so High than even They can't possibly reach them. I think (men) die sooner than women, per Capita, so at least we outlive them
Giving up can be the best solution and it can even give you a sense of peace
I’ve not given up I’ve just given up looking I love and enjoy my life as it is and if somebody comes along that can be honest caring and consistent then that’s a bonus but I won’t die but being in a relationship lol x
@@e.1766 dishonest in a way they chat to you all night and then make plans to date or they don’t make plans but decided to tell you they have a girlfriend at the end of talking for hours in a pub etc
@@e.1766 my Nan died at 74 and my grandad lived until he was 92
I left my husband after 20 years abusive marriage at age 55. I am having the time of my live, getting to know and love myself to the fullest. I am surrounded by amazing people that I attract and also I let it go of people, thoughts and things that are not adding meaning to my life. No time to waste!
I'm in my middle age and GRATEFULLY never married. Coming out of an abusive background, I was determined to learn to love myself first. I didn't care if it took me until I was 90 years old (and met him at a bingo match), I was NOT going to repeat the family patterns. The road has been far from easy, but I'm proud to finally be the kind of woman any healthy man would be fortunate to have as a partner. I could be a rockin' stepmom. But I'm content with being single right now. I am more immersed in love than I've ever been in my life, because I started attracting a "loving" life of supportive people. THAT was the cue I am ready. I plan to start actively dating in the next year, because I know I can have fun doing it (without the pressure of the scarcity mindset). And if love never enters my life as a life-long partner, that's fine. I AM MY GREATEST, LIFE-LONG PARTNER!!! :)
As we get older, it is natural to have someone special to do things with, and have companionship to share experiences. It is a heartfelt desire, so we must do all we can to be open to possibilities.
Completely agree
Welcome to the matrix. This is Morpheus. The true reason why many of you are single is the feminist evil unjustice system. Men have competely checked out. It's your reality now, change it or leave it as it is.
Desire, but not need. You won't die without a relationship, it's just a biological urge to preserve our kind, which can be suppressed and overwritten, to accommodate to being comfortable on your own, because you have to take into consideration all the possibilities, including never finding love. You have to be prepared for all scenarios. What if you don't find love? Are you going to whine about it for the rest of your life? Your happiness is your responsibility. Overcoming the instinctive bonding desires will allow you to bask in your own company, if you can't find love from within, and get to know yourself first by spending time alone, you'll never find love.
I have been single since my 20's, and now 11 years late, at my 31 (almost 32), I still have to find someone.
Sometimes the thought of never finding someone (romantically) to share life and life experiences with terrifies me, I feel unlovable and can't help but cry. Still, sometimes I feel okay just having beautiful and meaningful relationships with my friends and family, feeling accomplished by how much I have done by myself.
I have been single and alone for over twenty years since my divorce. I understand all too well what it feels like to be in your shoes.
I'm a 55 year old gay man in Los Angeles praying every day to meet, date, & be in a relationship with another man who is physically & emotionally available. Another man who is as mutually attracted to me as I to him. Lately I've been feeling hopeless in invisible to other men, but this video puts everything in perspective..... & I believe everything on it is the higher truth. The points that resonate the most are to live each day the best, as all these days are a blessed bonus. Don't compare & despair(a favorite LA pass time!). Loving relationships come in many different varieties. Give love. All of your content is also applicable to gay men.
I'm 30 and I've never been in any relationship. This is what I needed to hear.
I was looking for a comment like this because sometimes I feel like the only one!
I am 42 and never been in a relationship @@elenamanolopoulos
you dont need to conform to worldly norms no one needs to be in a relationships
This is such a good message. I have been single for 14 years, I am 48. I have often thought that I will never find romantic love. I am loved by so many people and I am learning to appreciate it, I have been through a lot health wise and deal with chronic pain on a daily basis. It has given me the time to get to know myself, learn to accept myself and to look for the opportunities to improve myself daily. It can be hard, I spent a lot of my life comparing myself to others and your videos have really helped me to enjoy my lfe, who I am, work on being grateful for what I have, while pushing myself to be the best version of me, thank you.
I'm 54 and it never happened for me, and I'm OK with that. Being single my whole life has allowed me to travel the world on a whim, and basically do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Starting a relationship at this age, and I'm a young 54, would have more negatives than positives. The loss of freedom and the loss of peace just aren't worth it.
The problem is you're thinking a relationship is the opposite of what your current life is. That's the problem with finding someone so late in life that you believe your "real life" starts after the relationship. I am 40 and never found someone myself. Yes, I do enjoy my freedom to do what I want and I also get to enjoy things that if married I might not enjoy. But then I think you know someone out there is in a relationship and doing exactly what I love to do as well. There are women out there who would love to travel and see the world and would work just as hard as you to want to travel. The only extra thing you're carrying is your wife and whatever luggage she has and vice versa. So the problem with relationships at older age is you develop this unrealistic view of what a relationship might be and you rationalize that somehow your life is better without which is false both ways. Your life will be no better or worse with or without someone. It's just that you're doing without.
@@Dan-di9jd no, it's definitely better without :)
Damn man did you have a gf before? I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and I feel the FOMO so much. I hardly get matches on dating apps and even if I get one, I get ghosted most of the time and 2 of my crushes in my college too rejected me few months ago. I also chat with some girls on Instagram whom I knew in high school days and they are all 19-22 year olds now but most of them ended up ghosting me too except one sweet girl who is 20 year old and she is nice to me. We were in the same school too but now in different colleges in the same city and we send each other virtual hugs and she calls me cute but she said she is already in a relationship but idk whether she lied about it because she is still being flirty to me.
@@manosijroy8282 bro 😢
Same here. My problem is whenever I meet someone whom I find attractive (not physically but charector) I just feel like I'm not good enough for them. Like even if they show interest in me I held back my feelings and act indifferent. I don't what's wrong with me. Fml ig 😑
@@manosijroy8282 I've had many girlfriends over the years, some I've even lived with, and each time it just reinforces that being single is the way to go.
I wish I would have found your channel sooner. You are so inspiring. I am 61 and divorced. You give me hope.
Never is an ugly word. I know a couple that met at 63 and have been enjoying each other’s company for the last 22 years. So… have hope and courage…. there’s still time for love.
I'm 22 and I've never been in a romantic relationship before. I struggle with catastrophizing and focusing on the idea that it might never happen, but when it's put into perspective like this, it actually gives me a lot of hope. Just because I've never been in a romantic relationship, that doesn't devalue every other relationship and experience I've had in my life. And, at 22, my life has barely just begun. Sometimes you just need someone to put that into perspective for you, to force you out of that limited perspective, and you guys definitely did that for me today. Thank you Matthew, and thank you Cheryl for sharing your story!
You must avoid love because the love you experienced in childhood wasn’t a happy one. So you were poisoned to feel that way about love. It’s only because you still are young and don’t know what love feels like that you don’t value it.
Perfectly said👏👏👏
Girl it's fine. I'm 26 n Im still looking for a nice guy for my first relationship. I got dating experience now and know what I want. There are people who rush into relationship just for the sake of being in one only to realize later that they weren't right and break up when they can't take it anymore. Instead of wasting time like that, better wait till you come across the right guy that you can actually have a mature fruitful relationship with.
@@lesshuman00 truth spoken. Another fact that most girls use their assets to get any guy they come across from.
Just got left by the girl I thought I’d marry in my first commited relationship 18 months down the drain. She treats me like a stranger now I wish I was still a virgin and never met her. Don’t be quick to rush into something serious cause you want it really bad!
I love all you gents - but I think a female perspective is desperately needed here. Men can, generally speaking, find someone to marry pretty easily. May not be true forever fairytale love but it's pretty obvious the number of women who want to get married or be together long term vs the number of men wanting the same are not aligned. Matthew is also speaking from the privileged place of recently meeting the "love of his life" and may be lacking some objectivity. I've been a fan and follower for years but this one annoyed me. Guys, you don't get it. You just don't get it. Women are valued for their appearance above all. Period. Time "runs out" in a way you can't imagine. Not to mention the biological clock y'all do not have. Anyway, pls consider a female perspective with questions like this. 🖤🖤🖤
👏👏👏
Exactly.
I think you got annoyed because some of the things he said might apply to you. I don't think it's about "the female perspective". There are men out there looking for love and feeling that the women that they come across are not interested in them because they're not rich. Not that that ever happened to me because I'm gay. And in the gay world, a lot of men want sex and only sex. But what Matt's talking about here is being grateful for what you have.
Katy, I think you are spot on. Age plays a big factor in a women's life. Physically, mentally, and emotionally all play into a women's life. We live in a culture where youth and beauty is focused on. We live in an age where ageism is very real.
Katy I so felt this too and thank you for this. 🙏🏼
Almost 35 and have never been in a committed relationship. I’ve dated and have been in situationships I have loved but never loved back. 😔 I have pretty much given up and have accepted I’ll be single forever.
😔 I’m so hopeless that all the guys I loved didn’t even care to name me as their girlfriend but just use me for free SxX. 😢I’m hopeless and it really tear down my mental well-being into depression
I know that must be painful. I can only say it's also painful to have started a relationship with high hopes and have it end in divorce. At least when your love story comes, it will be a fresh start and you'll have all of the wisdom and patience and capacity to love already baked in as you start your new journey. 🤍
@@juliestoryteller2383 same here
@@juliestoryteller2383 I understand that I'm a guy it has happened to me as well sorry bad feeling it is😢
I understand that too I'm sorry im a guy and dealt with it too
My relationships did not last, but I'm so glad I got to experience being madly in love...not once, but twice.
I am dating and feeling so unhappy w the results. I’m 41 and was with my husband since I was 19. I don’t think anyone has ever loved me the way I should be loved. I hope as a romantic at heart that I find that someday soon.
Jesus said 'Whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32)
Living in sin leads to hell. Repent, Turn away from sin, and believe in and follow Jesus Christ to be saved.
I'm 24 and I've never been in any relationship. This is what I needed to hear. When you said 'there's a version of yourself where you meet the love of your life tomorrow and they die in a car crash in 6 months,' that was deep. There's endless possibilities but we're focusing on only one. And the role models thing is definitely true. I discovered this myself quite recently. It's truly inspiring. Thanks Matt
I agree. Im 25 looking for a life partner, marriage, childern, god centered and never been any relationship and yet have been studying relationships and relwtionship skills, self awareness, NLP and been on my spiritual journey for 5 almost 6 years now. Ive made constant breakthroughs and been healing my inner child. I think im at the point where this is my only fear and this video really helped me look at other possibilities and to be patient with myself. Its not that I dont feel lovable everyone has generally shown how much they appreciate and love me. Its just that I havent met anyone mutually interested. Its really a gut punch to not see anyone on your spiritual wavelength and then not have them interested in you or unavaliable due to being in a relationship.
I broke up a couple of days ago and this thought is going mad in my brain right now. The rational part of my brain knows it isn’t true, but I’m going through all of the emotions right now.
Before I went through with the break-up, I thought and journaled a LOT to start the grieving process early. This was one of my fears that forced me to hold him back. But, I told myself that I’m full of love. People are attracted to genuine love. When you have genuine compassion, empathy, humanity and love, you will never be alone or unhappy. Romantic relationships especially tend to be a crutch for empty, broken people. Instead of doing their inner work, they desperately search for someone else to do that work for them.
I've had love but he died 💔..but I still have hope to love again.. I love myself...to take risks because I've no control over what another does...and stop resisting change..I'm 68 and I embrace life!
I’m 43 and still single. A void is always in my heart everyday when I wake up. As much as some days suck, as my dad a disabled veteran taught me, Keep Moving Forward.
Did you have a gf before? I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before, never kissed or hugged a girl in real life. After having no luck on dating apps, I started messaging girls on Instagram who were in the same school as me and are 18-23 year olds(mostly 19-22) Last Sunday I tried asking out one of the girl who is 19 turning 20 in August for a coffee and she even agreed to meet up one day. We have been chatting on Instagram for a month and were in the same school too but different colleges now but suddenly 5 days ago she blocked me mysteriously but I could see her replies getting slower and shorter after I asked her out but I was sad because she gave me false hope and this was the first time a girl didn't reject me so it hit hard.
Yesterday I tried asking out another girl for a coffee who was my childhood friend when we were in elementary school in 2008-2011. Now she is 21 turning 22 after 4 months and I feel I genuinely like her but she isn't that active on Insta so she didn't see or reply to the message yet in which I asked her out yesterday. I really hope she replies positively and agrees to meet up but I am scared that she might reject me too.
@@manosijroy8282even if she rejects you look at it as the dating apps, if you had zero luck on the dating app but some decent luck on Instagram hopefully it pushes you to go out there and ask a girl out in person, who knows, it may work out better than expected. Don't let the fear of rejection cause you to be in an anxiety of regretting
I'm gay and in the past I had wished I was straight and married and with children. Up until I befriended a couple of maried straight guys who told me they envied me because I was single and had no responsibility regarding children. And that blew my mind. So if you feel bad about your life, think that somewhere in the world someone wants what you have. Someone wants to be you.
😢I struggle this since I’m in my mid 30 and all my old friends all talking about kids and husbands make me so lonely and friendless
I find being gay so much harder for dating etc we have a much smaller pool to choose from. Also many gay men are fickle.
@@benfisher1376 Yes, but trust me a lot of these straight people wish they were single and childless. They just got married out of social pressure.
@@juliestoryteller2383 oh, trust me. I understand the feeling. But like I said, maybe there's a straight guy out there wanting to be you. Single and free.
@@Luiseut59 I think alot of women settle too.
I'll always think of the single life to be a positive thing. I'm 33 and have been single for 7 years. I don't plan nor care to find anyone. I see it as one less hurtful thing for me to possibly go through.
I think dating must be harder for very beautiful people (as you are) because you will attract all sorts of douchebags. It's great to be happy being single.
same here. I only regret that I've never been in real love- like, I never experienced that mind-blowing feeling of losing your head, butterflies in your stomach, etc. if I only experienced that, I'd be content with being single forever.
@@anastasiab9506 I've never experienced that either. I've been in a few relationships that I don't think count as relationships because to me, I was with them but to them, they weren't with me if that makes sense. From the way things are going now with relationships I don't want to ever experience it to be honest because then you're relying on it to work out. Just too much.
In 30 years your viewpoint will be different, believe me.
I am 28, 29 in 2 months and i am single for 10 years 😪. I used to like being single, but now it becomes hard. I really want a family of my own and i can't seem to find a good partner. Most just want to date and have s3x, others already had children and didn't want more, some don't want children at all. I can't seem to find someone who wants to be in a relationchip and wants a future with kids. Wish i started looking for someone sooner.
I am surprised that there was so much positive feedback about this video... Of course, being single, comparing with people who die, is good. I 41 haven't found the love of my life yet either - although I'm sure there would be several right partners. I would also describe myself as a happy person who gets the best out of life but the point that has been forgotten here is that it is also unsettling not to have experienced a great love. It is insecure not to be loved and insecure that what you have to give is not of interest to others. And I have to honestly admit that I do admire some people for their light-heartedness in relationships. How nice it must be to have had only 1-2 heartbreaks....
Absolutely.. 39 here. I compliment myself for strength, and the push on self esteem, i feel i can stand cataclisms balancing on the tippy toes of one foot. 10 years no relationships just crappy people who even didnt want to name me girlfriend. 7 years no sex. It is disheartening. You look at others and constantly wonder what they have that you dont have. What is the secret. And yes, i often think nobody is interested in what i have to offer....
God bless you Mathew. I've been going through a very depressive phase of my life since my partner of 6 years decided to end things with me. It's only been a couple of months but I haven't made any progress in healing myself whatsoever. I just can't make sense of the fact that he gave up on me after going through so much together. Both of us struggled really hard to save our relationship but he still gave up on it. I tried therapy and what not (nothing seemed to work) but your videos really helped me a lot. You have no idea that you are actually saving a life through your work. Just wanted you to know that. Can't thank you enough. Can't thank God enough for sending his help through you. 💕
If you were 6 years in, it will probably take at least one year to be fully healed. Go easy on yourself! 🤍
I am 23 and healing from my first ever heartbreak. As a very optimistic and sensitive person that sees only the best in people (or used to, now I'm turning bitter), the pain that somebody can cause you simply by being selfish and dishonest because they are a coward and dont want to let you go even though they KNOW they are not good for you and don't love you but still choose to waste your time... It caught me by surprise. It was a DISASTER. Left me with so much stress and anxiety and sorrow. Daily crying, being very neurotic and getting angry easily. I feel like the world betrayed me. Like I was drained and now I have no more kindness to give to strangers. Why should I, when people take it and than bring you to your knees?
I'm at a point where I decided to change my plan A, which was to focus on building a family and home with somebody, and instead gonna focus on my career. At 35 when I'm financially stable I'm going for in vitro fertilization and gonna be a single mom.
I don't think I could make it work even if the right person showed up - I wouldnt be able to trust them and that would be the downfall. I'm just so done.
You have a good plan for if you Don't meet (the One); Superior my dear! Now that you have that, you can have the Confidence to go after whoever you like & discard who you don't until the Right person comes along! Keep your plan, & keep having fun (& staying Safe!!) looking for the right one👍❤️
Hey girl.I am very sorry about what you experienced. I am 21 and I also recently experienced heartbreak .Just like you I was naive and my so called boyfriend ended up dumping me like I was some piece of trash .Just remember one thing what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I really hope you heal and find courage 🙏.
The difference is, you're young and you have an optional aim. All I've ever wanted, was real love and at age 42 I know, that there's nothing I also burn for. I have joy in my life, doing various things, but all of that doesn't fill that gap. I'd give up all of that immediately for a real love.
Get used to. You may have many realtionships like that. Youre only 23.
How do you explain to your child that he or she wasn't produced in a God blessed union between a husband and a wife. Don't be so selfish and do that to a child.
I"m scared too! I am 48. I have no kids and I have never been married. I feel like I may destined to die alone. I try to keep the hope alive, but it's very discouraging!
Welcome to the matrix. This is Morpheus. The true reason why many of you are single is the feminist evil unjustice system. Men have competely checked out. It's your reality now, change it or leave it as it is.
Love is everywhere! Your illusion of love is what needs to shift ❤
I met a woman a week ago who’s 80 and only started being with her current partner 2 years ago. She is more vivacious than a lot of women in their 20s I’ve met. Romance and love are tremendous things, but there’s so much more to life than that, and we can’t miss out of the rest of life waiting for romance.
24, recently done with my first relationship of 4 years and I have learned sooooo much, fingers crossed
Ugh that is such good advice and exactly what I need to hear. It’s so easy to become pessimistic in love…but you’ll never find it that way. Keep yourself open to the possibility but more importantly make the most out of life while you can. Nobody gets out here alive.
Been making the most of it for years and I still feel crushing defeat at not having someone decent and to share it with.
@Spots Corner I hope that’s a joke. Make something of yourself and women will be all over you
@Spots Corner get on down to the bar and start talking to women. Women don’t like men who don’t pursue them
@Spots Corner I can’t help you. I admit we can be awful sometimes but there are lots of women out there just waiting for some proactive male attention.
@Spots Corner i totally understand you and you understand me. Why because like yourself despite being years apart, I'm 24 and I have 0 dates, relationships and 0 kids because to girls I'm not physically attractive and rich for their approval. That's why I always feel ugly, unwanted, hideous, invisible and empty inside. The one thing that I regretted years ago is asking girls out because I knew before that happened, they would reject me, lie to me and ghost me. Despite me working for over 4 years, that never enough to show them that I never cared about their money, nor their looks. Greed and popularity has corrupted their minds for decades, that landed them single and in jail. All this is why I gave up because I'm tired of getting the same results, despite me trying to do things the right way.
I always try to listen to you guys. At 68 I don't know if I'll ever love romantically again - but hey, two years ago I met someone online & had as hot a time as I've ever had. Then a year later there was the break-up, and I shared all my angst with this community. I agree there are many many kinds of love. But do you notice that if you say "I feel love", this simple statement doesn’t specify the source of the love - it could be from inside you, radiating outwards, or from some other outside source, and you are the recipient. I'm beginning to think that maybe it doesn't matter where it comes from - because when I feel the love, I feel it, no matter where it comes from ❤
I needed to hear this. The words I typed in the search engine was actually meant to find more proof of my inability to find love, but instead this was the first video that appeared, and it really made me think of my situation differently, even if just a little. Being 45, never finding love, always being the one not chosen becomes a heavy cross to bear. So, thank you for providing me with a different perspective on this matter.
I'm not that far behind you. I'm 40 and never been able to find anyone and never "chosen" by anyone. It's odd though because there are many things out there that people have that I wouldn't envy not even for a second yet just as soon as I see them with their wife or family, that's when I instantly become jealous of it. I wonder what do they have that I don't? I wonder what sort of things make them attractive to the other person? What sort of behavior, sentence, or whatever they did that would make them be able to have this life and be able to share it with someone else? It's always baffling to me and I just don't get it.
Damn. I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and I feel the FOMO so much. I hardly get matches on dating apps and even if I get one, I get ghosted most of the time and 2 of my crushes in my college too rejected me few months ago. I also chat with some girls on Instagram whom I knew in high school days and they are all 19-22 year olds now but most of them ended up ghosting me too except one sweet girl who is 20 year old and she is nice to me. We were in the same school too but now in different colleges in the same city and we send each other virtual hugs and she calls me cute but she said she is already in a relationship but idk whether she lied about it because she is still being flirty to me.
I'm 38 never married no kids and losing hope this year. I can't be dating in 40s. I just can't.
I’m 41 and still believe in love, but from my point of view, since becoming 40+ I would rather date an older man than men my own age or younger (not that it’s not possible) But from my experience dating men my age, is now a no go. I hope you’ll find your hope again 🌸
@@sp4rkle81 Because guys who are 40 don't want women who are 40.
Same here. 38, no kids, never married. Makes it a little hard to believe in finding love when everyone you know has surpassed you in all aspects.
@@Whoeverwhateverwhenever there’s truth in that and also older men (but not all) seems to be more serieus. I don’t know how to discribe it in good English
@@starzintheskyz4477 Do you want kids? I don't and it's NOT easier for me since most guys do want to have kids, so a childfree woman is a turn-off for many of them.
You know with I say after being single seven and a half lifetimes .. "I don't know anything, I'm just grateful." All cycles no matter how long do come to an end. 🙏😇🤗💜❣️
"Seven and a half lifetimes". Loved it!!
This just touched my heart especially because just last night I was very emotional crying looking at picture of my mother and sister who passed away at age 54 and 30 and me being 55, successful, wonderful kids, lots of friend, great life was feeling exactly the same will I ever be in love. Why don’t I have what my other friends have in life but listening to this podcast I realize everyday of my life is a bonus and here I am complaining to myself about what I don’t have my sister would have just been grateful if she lived to see 55.
Thank you for your message❤
My husband left after 17 years; I was devastated yes, however, things switched in my mind -behaviour and outlook when I decided to celebrate those 17 years and be glad, I had them. I've moved on and I cannot believe, how much life has given back to me because I chose not to be vindictive or drag out things.
I feel her SO much. Also, my Aunt died alone having never been married or having kids or family or anyone around her. It's actually not uncommon. it's not "catastrophizing" & to compare her circumstance against not being on a battle field? So she should be grateful? Come on now, Matt. You speak about hope in the past but then contrarily say we should essentially be grateful for the "bonuses' because we're still living at out older age? The answer to her question should be bluntly - people do die alone & they can die lonely.
I appreciate your attempt to answer the question with kindness and compassion. However, as a fellow 46yo, I understand her query. I found the response to be lacking in understanding (perhaps due to lack of time on this earth/experience) and did feel a bit invalidating of her experience.
There's a great article in the book "This is Me Letting You Go" that addresses this. It asks you to truly imagine KNOWING FOR SURE that you'll never find love. How will that change you today? It inspired me so much I got up and revamped my CV on the spot! Basically the answer is self love - the same answer we get to any kind of grief: being dumped, dealing with abandonment issues, going through depression... all of it leads to self love, and self love is the answer to everything. Talk to yourself and treat yourself as if you are the love of your life - the only permanent one - because YOU really are the only person there for you no matter what happens!
Matthew, you have a way of making the video I need right when I need it. The point that jumped out to me with this one was the one about living out your life single vs..not getting to live it out. Also, it's always good to be reminded not to compare your blooper reel to someone else's highlight reel
Matthew, you are a brilliant genius! At 68, I've been widowed almost 10 years. I haven't dated anybody at all since then.
I Would like a partner, but I sm so terrified of rejection that I am paralyzed. I was physically/sexually refused by my late husband for years, even though we were emotionally close, good friends, compatible and got along well. He had a long-term illness--health condition and I took care of him the last several years of his life. I haven't taken any action to meet anyone or date. I am fearful of the same situation happening again. Especially in my age range. But I am a normal, decent woman in reasonably good health, and I feel that I deserve some kind of romantic and loving relationship of some type. I do have loving and caring family and friends in my life. I have & do things that I enjoy tremendously.
I am fortunate. More than many others.
This put things into focus for me.
8 billion people on this planet and I have never been in a serious relationship I fear of being alone and never finding love at almost 42..but I'm very optimistic that God has someone for me. I just need to trust Him. Have a positive mindset. ✨️
Live in the possibilities because we don't control the outcomes
*Step 1* Don't even let the thought that you may never find love cross your mind
😂. Simple but true. And hard.
Why? Not being in a relationship isn't the end of the world! Why do I need a relationship to be happy, fulfilled, successful, safe, or any other adjective. Why not be happy and love yourself? What if you were your source of love and anyone who comes into your life is just a bonus?
@@RiverWoods111 it's good, when that's enough for you. For other people it's not fulfilling. I tried so many times to focus on thoughts like that. But there's always a gap, that won't fill and it's so huge, I can't ignore. It doesn't work out for me. It's not the truth, I'm not happy without a romantic relationship. And no friendship or selflove can fill this hole, cause that's the only thing, what would make me feel happy and alive.
@@RiverWoods111 you are missing what she is saying. Be happy on your own yes, but ALSO dont remove the thought of finding love in your mind. You can accept a solo life with an open mind also.
@@RiverWoods111 we're social beings and having a mate enriches your life, makes you grow, challenges you, pushes your buttons. It's a beautiful experience to have someone by your side you can go through this adventure called life. And I wish you that no matter how reluctant you may be 😉
I think people attract the love they’re capable of giving. I also think too many people place their entire value on their chronological age instead of their biological or epigenetic age. Focusing on self improvement, health and goals allow us to see beyond shallow societal expectations.
Absolutely loved the shared perspective in this video. Love really does come to us in a myriad of ways if we are open and are paying close attention. In general it is hard for us to focus on deep non romantic relationship when what we are feeling is lack or scarcity. Love is diverse and varying and as such There are fulfilling connections that come in a variety of ways and are just as important.
At an early age I made peace with never finding "the one lasting love" given my grandma didn't have a loving husband at the end of her life but that didn't mean she didn't die surrounded by love and warmth from friends and family.
It's a different thing.
Why would you compare your life with others? your life is ur own experience that has nothing to do with ur grandma, mom, me or anyone in this comment section
My life has a lot to do with my grandma. She taught me what unconditional love was and her family and friends are also my family and friends. Didnt mean to make anyone upset I only want less anxiety and fear over dying without find "the one".
I am 27 and convinced I will never be loved. I currently have no intention of living passed 30.
I love my dog.
He's always there for me, never cheated & I always know where he is.
It is just like everything else in life -- we don't have any control over most things that happen around us.
I'm only 31 but I have met people I loved dearly but at the end of the day, they were their own person even some wanted to marry me but we were just not compatible. It's not the worst thing to die being single.
Consider this incredibly important piece of wisdom from *Love and Relationships* a free online book by Marshall Vian Summers:
"Do not worry that you are getting older. Do not let that drive your decisions. If you are not meant to meet the significant partner for three years, let Us say as an example, what are you going to do in the next three years? Go in and out of relationship, experience frustration, heartbreak, anger, resentment, disappointment, burning up your life over engagements that have no promise, while the Four Pillars of your life remain undeveloped and unrecognized?
Can you be out of relationship for three years while you are building other aspects of your life? If you cannot, then you have a problem with personality addiction, and this has nothing to do with real relationships. This is a personality disorder.
Can you face loneliness and emptiness? Or must you have constant stimulation, constant romance, constant infatuation-and with it all the disappointment, frustration and disapproval that this generates? You will waste your life and other people’s lives doing this.
Yet it is not necessary, you see. Constant searching, constant hoping and [waiting] for someone-this is pointless and unnecessary, you see. For when you are ready, Knowledge will bring into your life the individual that you need and the people that you need for other parts of your life."
Thanks
matthew is always such a well spoken person. I feel smarter just watching him talk
How about falling in love with yourself so deeply that if you never meet that person, you will die having lived a happy joyous life. Although, I think it might be fun to have a long-term relationship, if it never happens, I will have a great life anyway. To be honest, I am in the greatest relationship I could ever have with myself. I am perfectly contented living my life alone! If I find someone who compliments my life and is fun to be with, then great. If I don't I have everything I ever need! There is nothing, but companionship that a man can bring to my life. I don't need a man for money. I can fix anything in my house. I can kill spiders. I can fix my car on my own. I enjoy traveling alone. I take myself out on dates. I often buy myself flowers on Valentine's days and spend the day doing my favorite thing, creating art. I don't feel like I need a man to protect me, because I always have my own back. I love myself and am in love with who I have become in my lifetime.
To be honest, my biggest complaint about men is that most of them don't love themselves enough to just be with someone like me. They get all insecure because I don't need them. I won't date a man that is so needy to need a woman. Who expects me to fill his cup, so why would I expect him to fill my cup! We need to let go of the needing a man to be happy!
When we go through life with the attitude of what if I never find the or a MAN that will fill my empty hole in my heart to fulfil me and make me happy. We are in fact going into every date needy as F*ck! No wonder you can't find a MAN to love you. All he hears is ME, ME, ME! You need to be my happiness, you need to be my safety, you need to be my joy, you need to be my stability, you need to be my _______, & ________, & ______. I promise you that man is walking away going damn *beach* is needy AF! Work on loving you, and when you have found that kind of love then if you do find a man or you don't find a man it won't matter. If you are needy and need a man to be happy then every man you get involved with will fail, and you will walk away blaming him for not being your savior.
Holy hell, this is exactly what I needed to read and you are so, so right. Many women (and maybe men but I can only speak for myself as a woman) feel like our lives and worth aren't validated unless we have a man. In my logical mind I know this is utter rubbish, but my insecure self kind of buys into it and I want to change it.
May I ask, do you have any practical tips or nuggets of wisdom for getting to a place of genuine self acceptance and self-love? I am trying but tis proving to be very hard, especially after a long relationship and rather drawn-out and traumatic break-up.
@@Ginmabes I do a lot of meditation. I also spent some years just focusing on other areas of my life. It is important if you are too focused on a certain area, that you will block it. Therefore, focus on the other areas and take the focus from it till you have healed enough that it doesn't dominate all your thoughts. Again, meditation and mindfulness are huge. My last relationship/marriage was toxic as hell and when I got out of that relationship, I swore to myself that I wouldn't date till I had fixed whatever the hell it was within me that would allow a man to treat me in that manner. Beyond meditation and mindfulness, I also do DBT, ACT, ENDR which are all therapies for trauma. ACT stands for Accountability Commitment Therapy. DBT: Dialectical Behavior Therapy. ENDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I now use the EMDR as part of my meditation time, not the whole meditation, but the first part of it. Personally, I am beginning to believe that all humans should have these therapies! Haha! I started getting them after my Autism diagnosis & ADHD. They are the best therapies for autistics, but also PTSD and any trauma, bullying, abusive relationships, parent/family issues and honestly anything. ACT and DBT both teach mindfulness/meditation too. EMDR is something you can learn to implement into your mindfulness/meditation like I do.
The funny part was from that spot I then went into a space of thinking, "a man would be fun to have, but he needs his own house to go home to. Because I alone time way too much to give it up.
Now I am at the point of thinking, "Well if one comes along who has his own RV and wants to travel either full-time with me or most of the time, then great!" I can honestly tell you; I won't let a man move in with me or me in with him for a long time. I want to see what a real person is. I also will always have my own place, my own bank accounts, and my own finances. It is called respecting myself enough to care for me first!
I think this is the best mindset, not everything in life is about having a relationship. Being in one can make you extremely happy or miserable and being single doesn't mean you're less happy, it's just a different life where like you say you can take the opportunity to focus entirely in yourself. I believe that whatever happens in life, the person you will always have for sure loving you and supporting you is yourself, so we better give ourselves some love. I like you have travelled alone, can fix things on my own, have my own money and house.. we don't really need a partner to survive, we might want it to enrich our life even more if its the right person.. but it's not a requirement for happiness. There's so much we can do in life that doesn't involve a relationship, we can do many things to enrich our lives with hobbies and interests, travels and friendships. I totally resonate with you, I spent 5 years single and all you say is what I did and it's been one of the best moments of my life, feeling independent emotionally and in control, happy by myself. I promised to myself that I'd be single for as long as possible until I learned how to be alone and happy and until I could find someone worth the time, if it never came I was just accepting of that, I still have many things ahead of me single or not. But I just now found a partner which is the right person for me and my life is changing again, but sometimes I miss my singleness and freedom. And also now I know that if everything goes wrong in this relationship I will always have myself, so I think I'll be OK whatever happens and this gives an incredibly amount of confidence.
@@shemseh Exactly! You totally get it!!!! I sometimes think that I want a man who has his own house so I can send him there when I need alone time! LOL
@@shemseh This is so hopeful and soothing for me to read at this hard time in my life! I will work toward exactly this. Thank you x
It’ll be alright. I’m more stressed when I’m in a relationship.
I studied for 8th years, got a child , earned money, become artist and poet. Disaster in relationship stops me from achieving greater success and money. Still they're wanting to date me even I'm 59. But I find most of man miserable karakters that are floating around in life.
Im very content and happy. I didn't date since my 40 and I didn't miss. If happens that I meet great friend who can make my elevation of happiness I will accept.
Tomorrow is a hope, never a promise. This goes for everything we want for ourselfs in life, we can only hope and (!) work towards it.
Im 38, I hope I find someone and have a child of my own. My patient mom says I’m old and she’s 30 and calls me grandma. But listening to your video gives me comfort and hope. It makes me feel better 😢
Same here 💕
You lot all sound the same.. like a script you've ingested. Your being played and you don't even know it. They want discord and the sexes to be disillusioned with each other. Less babies and a more atomised, weak, materialistic society 💀So easier to rule over.. and women had children up to 46/47 in the olden days. 30 is actually young.
I’m with Sheryl because I’m 62. And although I’ve never found love after two abusive relationships, but I’ve found a great man friend and we have a great symbiotic relationship. I don’t love him but he’s a great friend and we both like the same things. We live together and don’t fight so I feel blessed that we can help each other towards the end of our lives. ❤
Yes!!!
Let's invite as much possibility into our lives.💚
I had a conversation about this with a friend 10+ years ago. Admittedly, I was having a bit of a pity party. He asked what I was looking for in a man. I listed off some things. His reply was...who gives you A?, and I named someone. He asked...who gives you B?, and I named someone. We continued down the list. At the end he told me I had everything I needed, it just wasn't rolled into one package. He was absolutely right and I've never looked back. It's perspective. I am just fine being alone. I have everything I need.
Don't let that belief be in your mind tell yourself the opposite even if it takes you forever to believe changing your mindset doesn't happen instantly it takes time! While you don't have that relationship look at all the great love you do have from a child, parents, friendships! You realize you have a lot of love that attracts more love! Love attracts love, negativity attracts negativity!
❤
Mid 40s here and still solo. I've had the opportunity to explore the world travelling, have explored several cities to live in, and have had various jobs. I have great fun with my friends and meaningful collaborations with my colleagues. "Happy enough" is a good thing.
Damn man did you have a gf before? I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and yet to get my first kiss. I started going for some classes to prepare for some exams to get into an MBA B School as I just graduated college 3 weeks ago and I am planning to study MBA next. There in the class, I got crush on this girl who is also 22 or maybe 23 now. She tries to initiate conversations with me and say me hi but I just say her hi back and answer what she asks but I am still shy to initiate any further talks with her. Almost 2 weeks ago, she actually said that I am cute and that made me blush a lot and today I gave her chocolate too. I was really shy but with my friends being with me, I gave her the chocolate and she thanked me with a smile and we did a handshake. I do feel a bit worried as she has 2-3 male friends in our class so I feel scared thinking what if she goes for either of them.
Also in this Saturday, me and a girl who is 19 year old now planned to meet in a McDonald's near her college. We used to be in the same school but didn't know each other in school days and we just have been kinda knowing each other for several months via Instagram. I have never been on a date or even a normal hang out with a girl so I am nervous. I am also worried whether she is really serious about hanging out with me on Saturday or she is joking as I just got rejected by several girls before. I am afraid that what if I mess up or something. I am hoping things will be fine and it won't get cancelled. I also asked out my childhood friend 3 months ago and she is 21 turning 22 soon and even she agreed to meet up but she is very inactive on Instagram so she takes weeks or even a month to reply to my messages so she still haven't replied when we can exactly meet.
I kept this channel open for almost 24hrs wanting to suggest this topic:
Being over 55 AND having a chronic 24/7 illness. One that steals your life in all the ways one could think of. I only wish it had taken my mind so I couldn’t realize that I have no one nor have a real chance of finding real intimate love.
The Gandalf quote was surprisingly good advice. Yet it still brings be no comfort.
I’m 57 and have had a chronic illness for over 25 yrs and that has made me a prisoner on my own home. I see one doctor once a month and the mailman on occasion.
Even if I meet someone I don’t want to burden them with someone like myself that can’t function in life in anyway that’s normal or
even to be good companionship.
If you have your health you have so much! So even if you haven’t found love yet BUT have your health, then you have a chance.❤
Well there’s my jumbled comment for the world to see…🥴
I will be one of those stories that someone died but no one found out for weeks later.
PS I have my 90 year old mother and a son who has his own life to say simply. . So finding a close and fulfilling love amongst family is very slim for various reasons.
I can’t find anything on love while being sick. I wish I could suggest this topic to the channels that have good level headed advice.
Hey Susan
I hope you feel okay ..
I'm 27 but my health is not that good too , and I feel like I'm having the same scenario as yours
But you don't have to he completely alone, i attend support groups meetings online everyday and they actually make a difference, also the vast majority of people I encounter there are over 50
@@basmahendy5431 I was surprised that anyone made sense of my post.😂
I was wondering were can I find those online groups?
I hope you see this.
Thank you for your supportive comment. I’m sure you will find someone that is really good for you. You have youth and that does help. Although I was pretty young when I started to get sick and I remember how hard that was. I hope you will stay positive. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
🙏🏻💖🌼
Susana, I hope you know there's someone out there who will love you even if you're ill, even if you're mostly over the computer screen. Please know that when you love someone it's not a burden, it's a joy to love and care for them! That's true of you, too!
35, never been loved or in a relationship. Rejection over 50 times. One thing I have learned in life, Walking the Lonesome Road is a better choice than chasing after the Concept of Love. A Solitude lifestyle is not a bad thing, at least I have my freedom and finances are stabled.
I am kinda in the same boat as you but just 7 rejections so far. I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and never even hugged or kissed a girl in real life. I got rejected very recently by 3 girls( rejected by 7 girls in total so far tho). These 3 girls were all in the same school as me but now in different colleges and we had been chatting on Instagram for months. One of them who is 19 turning 20 in August even agreed to meet up after I asked her out few weeks ago but she blocked me mysteriously after few days whereas another girl blocked me immediately after I asked her out. Few days ago I tried asking out another girl who is 20 now and we had been chatting on Instagram for 2-3 months but she rejected me saying that even though I am really nice, she just isn't comfortable to meet up with me and it hit me hard.
But there is still some hope as I asked out my childhood friend too who is 21 now turning 22 after 3-4 months. We were very close friends when we were in elementary school in 2008-2011. But she isn't that active on Instagram so she still didn't see that message in which I asked her out so still no reply yet. I am still waiting for her reply and hoping a positive reply as I genuinely like her a lot but idk.
Thanks for proposing such an empowering, positive, countercultural message.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I want to add also this comment ( I’m the one that didn’t meet someone til I was 68 in Manhattan) that your pain and disappointment on not meeting someone is real. Yes you will focus on things that bring you pleasure, job, friends, family. But what is missing is real. I was without it til I was 68 and I made the best of things but I knew I was missing “joy “. I accepted it but longed just the same. It makes it worse when people make light of what is missing in your life. Some people really ache for what is missing. It is real and that shouldn’t be down played or denied. It’s an inconvenient truth. And that can change in a moment. Absolutely. Keep you eyes open, stay mindful and aware and don’t be afraid to send out a smile to someone who spark sleep your interest. A simple smile can change your life.
I'm 41 and I've never experienced *true* love. Fake love yes, until they find someone else. I give up now.
Hi friend, Are you trying to attract or win back your Ex, specific person (SP), restore a broken Relationship marriage, reunite with your soulmate/twin flame or banish a third party From your relationship.Dr peter is the best .💯😍
I really like this part of the podcast as it gives me inspiration of what our life could be even without being in a relationship!
I grow up in Christianity . Something that I always hated was the “you’ll find someone” “God has someone for you.” Because it does create a “reality” out of a wish . I am 36 now and I am single . Now I understand yea, I might never find a person I like enough to share my life with. That’s a possibility BUT it is not a reality. Finding a person is not a guarantee , but never finding one is not a guarantee either ! We need to learn to enjoy our lives with positivity, not a toxic one like the one I was taught in Christian church but we need to stay open, we need to keep hoping. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring . Also, many people we know are married now … how can we guarantee they’ll stay married the rest of their lives ? How do we know one of them won’t cheat on the other? Not even getting married in your 20’s guarantees you’ll be with a partner forever . Let’s not compare ourselves with others ❤
A divorced family member of mine fell in love with a coworker at 60 yrs old and they got married. So it is possible at any age!
No. It means nothing other than that bbeettaa males exist.
Which is why I always say women have such a huge advantage in dating, it's not even funny. A woman can still be 300lb and she can still find a ssuucckkeerr. You think a 300lb man can? Please.
I’m 50 and been through the mill after a failed marriage and then a relationship where he was very dishonest…I’ve learnt since the last heartbreak to look after me and I’ve got to the point as a single mum to enjoy single life and I don’t need anyone if he comes along he does if he doesn’t I’m happy where I am…and I’d rather be single then in the wrong relationship, the biggest mistake people make is thinking they need someone else to make them happy it’s too much pressure on someone else to live up to that love yourself and you won’t need anyone even if your in a relationship or not
I am also 51 and apart from dating here and there, haven’t been in a serious relationship since 37. I am very social, but have only ever met younger men, because men my age are in happy relationships, not going out anymore apart from hanging out with other couples or cannot sustain a healthy(which is why they are single). Unfortunately at our age we need to be realistic and accept this. This isn’t the same as giving up, because most of us are still open to considering men we meet (only to spot the wedding ring, haha)
😔 I am struggling finding love for years…
I prefer to forget to think of a relationship with someone than to search a relationship and feel very sad to not find...
Romantic love is just one of many ways we might be able to experience love! The world needs all of us to GIVE more love... To everyone we meet. From our neighbor to our coworkers and people who's lives we only hear about on the news. Start by trying to GIVE love to begin with...wherever you can. Wherever its needed, and even when it might seem like it isn't... Just enjoy giving love. All else will come.
I love the principle behind Matthew’s advice, some of it struck a chord, yet there’s a small part of me that does mentally rebel against it because that part of me is entitled, ungrateful and resentful, even though I try to manage that part of me as best I can whilst reminding myself that I’m very lucky in various other ways.
I can have many happy moments in a life without romance, but it so often returns to a pain that there’s no alternative solution to, so while I really appreciate everyone’s efforts in this video, I don’t know if I can wholeheartedly adopt the ideology because for where I am right now, it feels a little bit disingenuous and unrealistic. Perhaps that may change at some point.
I used to feel the same way about it. And while yes it may never happen and some part of me may regret possibilities never taken, a lot of the major pain I've found comes from a lack of self love on my part and emotional lack from childhood. As I took steps to give myself what I kept hoping someone else might, it's put things into perspective a bit more. Maybe this is not the case for you, but the more you know and all that.
@@mads6847 Helpful, thanks Mads. In my case I wouldn’t say this is a childhood thing, but I had a large period of life where romance didn’t interest me at all and now I’ve got to a stage where I really do want it but because of the above I don’t always feel like I have the skills to make it happen.
@@EFLDebate yeah I can understand that. Best option is probably to practice, you may learn things and make friends along the way. Wish you the best!
@@mads6847 Cheers, you too
I feel the same way. I feel like hope is often given by people who don't need hope. On the other hand, on what basis can you trust the words of someone who is also basing their belief that they'll find someone, on hope alone? It's a double edged sword
How is it that I feel I took most things said in this video to heart and still cannot get past. The idea that not loving or being loved is the most horrible thing that can happen
Unfortunately its a possibility. Surely you can always find someone but finding the actual love thats another level. If it doesnt happen, life will be boring. If it does, it will be anything but boring, but also quite likely dramatic. Lets face it, 99% of couples run their course around 10 years. I dont wanna drama or a dull relationship without passion
Sometimes I feel like I’m not meant to have that forever love. Maybe I’m here to learn how to live with just myself. You just never know. Life is what we make of it, I suppose. 🤷🏼♀️
I empathize with the question. I’m in a similar boat. However, I have experienced so many different variations of ❤
I have a hard to believing she has an open heart. Bc I find it hard to believe that’s not a contradiction in terms. An open heart is always in love!
I’m hopeful as she clearly still is. And I have my doubts too. Let’s keep opening our hearts to the mysteries and possibilities ✨
In fact! Our great love stories are more likely to occur later in life when we actually know ourselves and have quieted the chaos of our minds so our hearts can be more fully present. Yes, jaded and fearful perhaps. But that’s something we can overcome. The truth is we are more capable when we possess the wisdom. Be intentional and trust the universe.
I'm 22 and have been single my entire life! I hope to keep it that way until I find my way in life i.e. when I'm 24/25
All of this was incredibly well thought out and well spoken. I was especially drawn to Jameson and his words.
I believe that a relationship will last, as long as the relationship is 100 % working with your needs met, and what you’re looking for in a relationship, is what you’re actually getting to make you feel happy with the person you’re with 😊
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Thank you for this! I love your perspective. Thank you for recognizing that romantic love is not the only important and worthy form of love ❤
If only I discovered you in my 20’s. I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. Married and still struggling. Ugh
Why you gotta be so adorable? 😍 lol
What a deep & beautiful soul you are Matthew. The world needs more men like you in it. ❤
I’ve had three beautiful romances in my life, after 13 years in an abusive relationship. I’m currently single and healing from heartbreak. I’m 42, have two beautiful sons and great family and friends. A lovely man is the cherry on the cake. I love me. Comparison is the root of unhappiness. The people who love you and care about you will NEVER leave. Not caring what everyone else is doing is key.
This is really one time I don't agree with Matthew. So, I have to console myself that I am not dying or that I am not in prison or whatever horrible scenario I can think of because I am sad that I am single forever and probably stay single until I die? I like myself and I like my life but I feel it would be much more pleasant and much less lonely if I had a partner. I have so much to give and no one to love. It's not just "well, at least I am not dying", it's really painful! It makes you think there is something wrong with you when no one wants to stay with you, when you can't find love, when you are alone for 50 years of life! And everyone I meet and go to date either ghosts me, or has some awful demands or wants just plain and simple "just fun" and nothing else.. . I am so sick and tired of dating world, so tired of being forever alone, and it's quite insulting to basically call that feeling "ungrateful" because well, I am not dying. I will die, one day, surrounded by cats, alone, and my cats will probably eat my body and die later by being abandoned and not fed or be killed. How is that better than having loving soul next to you? I have to travel all alone and pay almost double because apparently travelling alone should be punished by much higher prices. I have no one to talk to, to be intimate with, to tell a joke, to laugh with... And that's not fun anymore. Yes, sure, being single for a year or two or even more can be fun and cute but at over 50 being single for 15 years is NOT FUN!
Absolutely. Do bear in mind that the culture has changed drastically in the past 20 years and men are not secure anymore financially. They are not the men that used to be. It’s not you.