I hope this helps someone out there. Love you all. All poems, vids and novels: www.ClaytonJennings.com Have I been able to help you? Support my channel here: app.moonclerk.com/pay/2qswhhel8db9 Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/3HM2KNmxuQ4SS3A3sI5Lez Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/artist/clayton-jennings/1494243865 Amazon Music: tinyurl.com/y5u4hxc3 Instagram: instagram.com/claytonjennings1/
some ppl don't under depression and having anxiety when u try to look for help they say that you are seeking attention but deep down you are drowning, you really need their help not their judgments
Today I felt like giving up, rocked back and forth hitting my head on the dresser, I laid on the floor with no pain no thoughts just the feeling of numbness, I laid in bed staring outside my window as tears run down my face thinking how I called into work and told them I had the flu but in reality I’m trying to live I’m fighting a battle that no one can see that no one is able to understand, I can’t move talk or even think I’m just numb and lost.
I've turned back to God because of this video . Today is my first day giving up alcohol. I'm depending on Him to get me through this. Thanks man for this video, you're truly helping people ❤
Don’t give up no matter what, and even if you don’t succeed right away, don’t be afraid to try again I know many people who don’t always make it the first attempt! But you Can do this with Jesus on your side all you need to do is surrender to his will and walk with God hand-in-hand! Don’t ever forget how amazing you are in your father’s eyes and you don’t need any poison inside you to make you better. God made you perfectly how you are!
I think I'm trapped It sucks I walked back to thos environment I'm the one who ignored my gut Gods been here this whole time Why can't I love my self, as Jesus loves me?! I hate me Why? Only I can answer Unfortunately Help me Lord!
This is so true when I’m with my friends in the happiest one in the group but when I get home I just let it out and when I look in the mirror I cry more because I’m so insecure about my body but I’m slowly liking my body more everyday
I wake up, puddle of sweat. I have nightmares and I get back into bed. It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head. And I can’t keep them to leave me alone, thirty years old but still hates being alone when I’m home. Because that’s when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest. But these demons keep pressing me, I swear to the foulest. But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is coulees. My dreams are their playground, my thoughts are their palace. I’ve tried to evict them, they returned with more. Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store. I was ten the first time I had an panic attack. Like a punch to the stomach there is no planning for that. And I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say. And I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away. It was my fight to fight and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in an how these demons would rattle that place. I’d lay awake at night staring at the ceiling. I’ve spend my whole life trying to run from that feeling. That feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being lost when the lights turn off. That feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious. The feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this. Only to get silence in return. I’d lay In that bed crying and I toss and I turn. And I turn and I toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray. I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today. I’m an actor who got really good at being on today. But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows. I’m at the deep end now but I started in the shallows. And I might just drown myself in these waves. So burn me in hell, these homes are all graves. Everyone is coping with something but won’t admit that they all too afraid. And these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say. If I’m honest with them, maybe they wont think highly of me. Everything they want me to be is what I’m dying to be. But everything I really am, is what I’m not trying to be. I want them to know they not alone In their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. And I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley. I’m in terrified that all along god is telling my sins. And if he has the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke and you keep reading just past the comic. Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose. But my vocal cords get thight when the devil pulls on this news. And then I’m back at keeping everything bottled up inside. But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time. He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can’t get out of bed, I was never meant to act like this. I’m packing up my backs and he can’t stop me from running fast like this. I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety. I’m showing the devil back for every time that he lied to me. And I’m taking a belt to this demons who whisper to spear my ear. And I’m ignoring every nay-sayer who stands and stares when I’m near. I’m moving forward out of this slum. I took my bruises I took my lumps. I felt down but I got right back up. So give me a torch and just light that up. I’m sending fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline. Look at you now. Now you not laughing at me. Now who’s the one being tortured and plunked. Now who’s the one closing every door that I want. Now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground. Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around. I’m not done talking to you now. I’m watching you moves. I’m on your back and I’m stalking you too. And when you try to ruin some other kids life I’ll be stopping you too. You took thirty years of my life, and I can’t get that back. You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that. You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then but I got found like that. Everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me I was. And everything you hated in me, someone new told me he loved. And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety. He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me. So I’m done listening to you and let you control me. I’m announcing now that the devil can’t hold me. I’m walking away from the old me, and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me. You knew I would find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior.
The message in this is the ending, so many times people that deal with anxiety have so much they want/need to say. In private we feel strong, and talk our selves up. Then when we come face to face with it, we just can not bring ourselves to say it. Anxiety took 40 years of my life away. I am more free now then i ever have been. That said it is still a choice i have to keep making. Those voices are still there still putting me down, but i keep reminding myself of how good it feels.
so true... You are amazing Clayton... I dont need a perfect person to tell me how to better. Its through the people who struggle and get through the fire that I follow.
I first found this song about a month back and I listen to it numerous times a day I have diffrent accounts on my fire stick laptop an phone an on all 3 it’s at the top the words are so relatable it’s scary
@@alexs6746 I feel that. But I also target myself when I have problems with the people who have been around for a long time. I have been working through a lot of my demons and I managed to get thru this year.
Definition of fine. Fucked up. Insecure. Nurotic. Emotional. I suffer from alot of mental disorders. But for the grace of a Higher Power today I can face my issues and recover. It's a slow hard process but there really is light at the end. Just reach out and ask for help. You will be surprised how many people can relate to you. Your never truly alone. Plz people don't give up. I love everyone of you who struggle. Your stronger then you think. There is HOPE. Hold On Pain Ends. Xoxo
It’s scary how a smile and a “just tired” can get people to think your fine... I’m not I don’t think I ever will be fine but as far as you know and care I am, as long as I’m doing fine I’m school and am not bothering anyone, I’m okay, no matter how much I’m struggling.. To those reading in the comments I know why your here you feel like your giving up, your scared and have no one to go to but someday things may get better we will find someone to help us, maybe one day we’ll actually be fine... Edit: I never even knew about the reply’s and likes, for one I’m so sorry to everyone who can relate to what I was and still do feel from time to time. I wish I could take that away. But I’m here to tell you it does get easier, as cliche as it sounds, I know it does, it does, maybe not entirely, I’m still waiting for that but those moments when we wish we could smile and genuinely mean it, they do come, and I won’t lie saying that there won’t be bad days, because unfortunately there always will be. I’m simply here to say, just wait, there’s so many things to look forward to, that one song that you’ll cherish forever. The movie you’ll have on repeat. The memories of watching sunsets. The UA-cam videos you’ll never get to see. The books you’ll never get to read. The people you’ll never get to meet. You will meet people who will accept you for everything you are, and when you do, it will be magical you just need to be there to see it. We both do, so please hold on, let’s take a trip, till the shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time, we’ve already made it to the moon. It was hard I know, but how about we go to Pluto it must be so lonely out there, we’ll make it together. How does that sound. Please hold one, so we can both have those good days, where we can really smile.
My friends say "I'm a master of hiding my emotions" They have never seen me cry, never seen me ask for help no matter how I really feel, nobody really knows me. Not even myself.
No one ever listens to me. They ask if I'm okay and I just nod and they walk off. But I'm not. And sometimes I don't want to talk. I just want a hug. Someone to let me know they care. But all I get is a 'Why are you so quiet?' Even my girlfriend just says that. And my parents don't really care. My mum doesn't accept me, hasn't since I came out. My dad... if I try to talk he just yells. I can only talk to people online. But that only helps a little.
Charli I can’t relate to everything but I can relate to the first part, and it hurts, it hurts a lot ,but I gotta stay strong, and I can’t let any one irl know I’m weak, so I’ll just stay quiet.🙂
It’s harder for guys and today with society, guys are more scared to express their feelings and ask for help, less males are diagnosed with depression Because they are scared to get help. And we keep to ourselves and so we commit suicide. Because no one cares about males society doesn’t care about males.
I'm 29 and I stutter. I can out work, out smart anyone in my career. Every time I hear this, I break down crying 20-30 seconds in. Religions not my cup of tea, but the message hits hard.
That's because religion is for people who are scared of going to hell, but spirituality is for people who have been there. You don't need religion to have faith. God loves you, and I love you
“The doctors gave me medication and the pastors said pray I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away so forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today.” Felt this heavy
@@MrBlodhund Meditation? How does it work? I mean what do I do to meditate? I'm willing to try anything at this point medicine, drugs has little effect on my anxiety.
As someone who struggles with generalized anxiety disorder and clinical depression, this was one of the most powerful videos I've seen in a long, long time. Thank you.
Almost 35 and this song still hits so hard I have to fight back the tears.I greatly appreciate your music and pray anyone who listens to this will get everything they deserve out of this life.
Dear Anxiety/Spoken Word I wake up, puddle of sweat, I have nightmares and I get back into bed. It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can’t get them to leave me alone. 30 years old but still hates being alone when I’m home. Because that’s when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest, but these demons keep pressing me, I swear their the foulest. But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is calloused, my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their palace. I tried to evict them, they return with more. Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store. I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack, like a punch to the stomach, there’s no planning for that. and I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say and I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away. It was my fight to fight, and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in and how those demons would rattle that place. I’d lay in my bed awake at night just starring at the ceiling. I’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling; that feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off, that feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious, that feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this, only to get silence in return. I lay in that bed crying and I’d toss and I’d turn, and I turn and toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray. I’ve tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today, I’m an actor who got really good at being on today, but when I turn off I go right back into the shadows. I’m in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows. And I might just drown myself in these waves. Suburban hell these homes are all graves, everyone’s coping with something but won’t admit it their all too afraid, and these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I’m honest maybe they wont think highly of me. Everything they want me to be, is what I’m dying to be. But everything I really am is what I’m not trying to be. I want them to know they are not alone in their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. and I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley I’m in, terrified that all along god has tallied my sins, and if he has, the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke, and you keep reading, just pass the comic, Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose, but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose and then I’m back to keeping everything bottled up inside. But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time. He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can’t get outta bed, I was never made to act like this. I’m packing up my bags and he can’t stop me from running fast like this. I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety. I’m shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me, and taking a belt to these demons who whispered despair in my ear, and I’m ignoring everyone neigh sayer who stands and stares when I’m near. I’m moving forward out of this slump; I took my bruises, I took my lumps. I fell down but I got right back up, so give me a torch and lets light that up. I’m setting fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline. Look at you, now you’re not laughing at me, now who’s the one who’s being tortured and punked. Now who’s the one closing every door that I want, now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground. Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around! I’m not done talking to you! Now I’m watching your moves, I’m on your back and I’m stalking you to, and when you try to ruin some other kids life, I’ll be stopping you too. You took 30 years of my life, and I can’t get that back, you told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that! You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then I got found like that. And everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me i was and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves. And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety, he reached in and placed hope deep inside of me. So I’m done listening to you and letting you control me, I'm announcing it now that the devil can’t hold me, I’m walking away from the old me and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me. You knew I’d find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior. ~Clayton Jennings
I rememeber so vividly finding this around when it came out at one of my lowest points, and hearing every word perfectly describing every single feeling in my body and every single feeling piled on top of me. I remember laying in my bed and just listening because I was so exhausted to even keep my eyes open to watch the video. These videos and these words saved me, they gave me the break I needed and something to hear. It kept me from simply giving into myself and letting it all drown me. I dont think Id be where I am, working and moving forward if these words weren't spoken. I may not have the same beliefs, but I was saved in a way. Coming back to this, it makes me feel stronger years later. Thank you
Man... When he says, "I'm good thank you" and walks out.... That was perfectly depicted with how anxiety is.. Everything he wanted too and needed to say... But instead chose to bottle it all up because he felt he didn't have a choice.. anxiety PERFECTLY explained.
I agree with this but I also think that this spoke on how anxiety is your own battle that you alone must face. He had nothing to say because he won his own battle.
This is absolutely true, I've listened to this and listened to this repeatedly for years now, and that's the part that just breaks me every time. It's so real
My favorite part of this video is the end where he actually didn’t say anything. That’s what really happens. We stay silent. We’re afraid. It’s scary to be vulnerable, but vulnerability brings strength
That is a perfect line: You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that. I love the end of this, it's a perfect rendition of anxiety.....all he said was in his head and anyone with anxiety knows that this is exactly how it works
I can’t even contemplate how many times I thought about killing myself while having my anxiety attacks but I have to be strong. I know there’s no wave that I can’t conquer 😊
@@cockerspaniel9466 A family is something not everyone gets to have so many people suffer alone because they can't trust their relitaves so how can they trust someone they don't know
I can’t help but cry, this touched the deep core of me. I hate anxiety I’ve always called it the beast inside me. It rattles in my rib cage & even though I’ve aged it still has some sort of hold on me. I’m battling PTSD & everyday I’m fighting to reach that bright place of recovery, I can honestly say anxiety has never ever really left me, but I pray that one day god will release these shackles from my feet & set me free. Thanks again Clayton you always shine the brightest light for those souls like me who are struggling to find hope in the dark x bless you x
Laura SparkleSoul Laura you need deliverance honey watch something by Derek prince he walks you through biblical deliverance you can free honey God bless you
Laura SparkleSoul your not alone and you are so strong just by talking about it. I’ve been so afraid of it showing my weakness and it’s been a real struggle. I’ll pray for you. 💗🙏 stay strong my friend.
I'm fighting a very similar battle, I have PTSD too. I've recently stumbled and am trying to get myself back together while coping with a recent loss of a loved one.
Your stuff really spoke to me... And now I always believe that God is there for me.... I'm 14 and I went to the hospital for a suicidal attempt.... I watched this video and it really spoke to me and u wanted to say thank you for that... You really helped me in life... And now I know that God is with me everywhere even when I sin... He's still there... Thank you
Iyana Chan tore strong please stay with us on this earth even if you feel worthless I need you if we lose you heaven gains another angel idk you but I love you🥺💓
Same, I was 13 when I went to a mental hospital for a suicide attempt. And that hospital did nothing to help me, besides give me pills that I now can't refill till I go to a therapist. But my anxiety triggers my depression, and I get anxiety to almost everything that involves socializing. So I'm kinda just stuck here
Social anxiety makes me feel like a weirdo. I look at normal people talking and laughing and I’m just like I wish I could... maybe... never. Everytime I talk to someone I sweat and stumble on my words, can’t make eye contact.
When you give eye contact you're attacking a goal by each person. So collect your gold coins video game player and count them and realize your eye contact and smile helped someone who hurts as you do and more. If you've failed relationships and were innocent and hurt someone long ago in B.C. and A.D., so everyone experienced our pains in a fashion and perhaps identically. I learned a trick. Purchase some Dollar General/Tree plates and a permanent marker. Write down all the hurts and some goods on the plates as much as you can. $20.00, I'm serious here ok??? Then take the stacks and go to a hill and rocky landscape, a playlist.... gospel or jazz is perfect and a sweater, just before night fall (whenever is sound). Grab a plate re-read it and when finished frisbee the heck away and shatter those demons. Scream if you have to like a tennis player. It may sound funny but it may just make you laugh. This will help exert you and perhaps tire you to get home shower and have a nice nights rest. Make sure to break them tho. Do not journal and re-read. Take a friend along for company or not. And the last plate write a prayer to God for complete comfort and say something positive about you and blessings. God knows your heart.... and break that one too. Because we want the past into better changes. 🤣
Judith Marie same.. or whenever i have to read out loud to the class its like i forget how to read and stumble i get sweaty and i just cant do it im glad i found someone i can relate to
@@chickenfeathers2607 ! Gold for you. You can do it. Sweaty or not! You are expelling evil fire out of your body that you've suppressed, and simply taking others' pains unknowingly included. So work it out by a Holy Fire Baptismal is what I call it. And spit it out as you do your favorite songs to sing. Do you enjoy singing? You can throw in before your speech about your holy baptismal. Hmm! Crack a joke and say! This is hard work and forgive the perspiration. And go right into your speech about ANXIETY-ANXIETY! It will help others. And when the sweat begins the class will understand in suspense of your wisecrack. Best thing if you don't perspire then you've beat your fear
Thank you for this, I’ve struggled with anxiety since being a child and now in my 40’s. It took a lot to finally admit to others that I had a problem, but Thanks be to God who helped me and you . Thank you again for the words in this and you being on the frontline. I pray that the Lord keeps you in His hands.
I’m not the crying type at all. But watching this had tears rolling down my face because it’s crazy to hear someone else speaking of the same things that I deal with and feel everyday, so relatable. Keep it up man. Thank you, I needed this.
In Jesus Name I loose this man. I send comfort by the healing hands of Jesus our Lord and Savior. Take your rightful place in Gods kingdom. All his words are full of life and power. Use his words to secure your freedom.
As a retired US Army soldier of 21 years. I turned all of my anxiety, concerns and inner demons over to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior in your heart and soul and the Holy Spirit will live inside you, he will be your counselor, guide and comforter. Praise God and Hallelujah
you understood the message like I did. so many didn't get the important message in the end its sad. its about faith in him and he will help you get through
I'm I almost killed myself when I was 10 I never talked to god but he told my to watch this. I don't watch stuff like this and one day when I was hurting the most and almost ended everything this was on my recommended and that day my 3 year old cousin can yo my house and said " if you die I will kill myself to be with you" I had the rope in my garage idk how she know but she did and it broke my heart
This is art! Absolutely incredible. Showing him walking in. And the last piece is genius!! It hurts to know others feel like this but also reminding me we’re not alone. ❤ hugs to anyone who gets this.
I am afraid of many people, I don't want anyone to judge me how I dressed, how I speak, how I behave, how my friends won't take me seriously, they think I am boring, they think I am shy but the truth is that : I am afraid and I want someone to notice anyone?
@@aliciabeckett399 I have seen some of my family in almost a year due to Covid. I lost my job in May due to Covid. My uncle passed away on January 1st of this year due to suicide. My fiancé and mother to my daughter, left me for another man just a few weeks ago. I work overtime just to afford college. My anxiety is killing me slowly. It’s hard to get past this.
@@scott8908 i’m so sorry. i wish i could tell you that over time it gets better but time doesn’t heal things. you have to have to mindset to get better. i lost my brother in september ever since i have been right in the head.i dream abt seeing him in his casket and it keeps me up. you will get through this just believe in yourself.
I’m 13, I deal with anxiety, depression, and I have attempted suicide twice, I am on antidepressants but it’s so hard.. I’m so sorry to everyone who’s going through the same. I love you all
I have anxiety, but Social anxiety is the worst of my demons. I will say I thought it was funny when the opening was an Anxiety support group. I thought, damn, I'd be too scared to go to one and talk let alone be there. and when he spoke up, I felt that shit down to my core. then in the end, when you realized he never really spoke, and it was just all the things he wished he could say, I felt that shit all over again. great video. very real and very emotional. thank you for being able to put this into words; its therapeutic.
Angelica Mystique I’m 14 and I’ve spent six years in support groups and therapy, they’ve truly helped me and they might help you too but everyone is different
I wake up, puddle of sweat I have nightmares, and I get back into bed It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head And I can’t get them to leave me alone Thirty-years old but still hates being alone when I'm home Because that's when the voices get the loudest Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest But these demons keep pressin’ me, I swear they're the foulest But I've grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is calloused My dreams are their playground, my thoughts are their palace I tried to evict them, they returned with more Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that And I didn't tell anyone because I was too scared about what they'd say And I knew deep down that there was nothing they could do to take it away It was my fight to fight and my battle to face I remember that house I grew up in and how those demons would rattle that place I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling I’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling That feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off That feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious That feeling of screaming to God begging Him to take this Only to get silence in return I’d lay in that bed crying, and I'd toss and I’d turn And I turn and I toss to this day The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray I tried both, and this anxiety still hasn't gone away So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today I'm an actor who got really good at being on today But when I turn off, I go right back into the shadows I'm in the deep-end now, but I started in the shallows And I might just drown myself in these waves Suburbian hell, these homes are all graves Everyone’s coping with something but won't admit it, they're all too afraid And these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I'm honest with them, maybe they won't think highly of me Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be But everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles And I don't ever think I'll get out of this valley I'm in Terrified that all along God has tallied my sins And if He has, the number must be astronomic My life is a joke, and you keep reading, just pass the comic Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth I wish I could open up to you and just let loose But my vocal cords get tight when the Devil pulls on this noose And then I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside But he's not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time He's not gonna keep me trapped like this I can't get out of bed, I was never made to act like this I'm packing up my bags, and he can't stop me from running fast like this I'm not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety I'm shoving the Devil back for every time that he lied to me And I'm taking a belt to these demons who whisper despair in my ear And I'm ignoring every naysayer who stands and stares when I'm near I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises, I took my lumps I fell down, but I got right back up So give me a torch, and let's light that up I'm setting fire to the Devil, and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline Look at you now, now you're not laughing at me Now who's the one who's being tortured and punked? Now who's the one closing every door that I want? Now who's the one watching the other burn the ground? Don't look away from me, you better turn back around I'm not done talking to you now I'm watching your moves I'm on your back, and I'm stalking you, too And when you try to ruin some other kid's life, I'll be stoppin' you, too You took thirty years of my life, and I can't get that back You told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that You took me down, but I bounced right back I was lost then, and I got found like that And everything you told me I wasn't someone new told me I was And everything you hated in me someone new told me He loves And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me I'm announcing it now that the Devil can't hold me I'm walking away from the old me And I'm demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me You knew I'd find a way out sooner or later And I found my escape in the form of a Savior
This hits deep because I just cry on my own because I feel like relying on someone else is being a burden but God says “My child I’m here and I’ll never leave you. You’re my prized possession, I love you Daughter!”
People assume that if they see you looking unwell your probably sick. People don’t realise that you can have a smile on your face, but be so lonely and lost inside 💙
Dear Anxiety/ Spoken Word I wake up in a puddle of sweat, I have nightmares and I get back into bed, its like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can't get them to leave me alone. 30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home, Because thats when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest, but these demons keep pressing me I swear their the foulest. But ive grown comfortable with their presence my conscious is callist, my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their palace. I tried to evict them they return with more, anxiety isnt a item you can return at a store. I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack, like a punch to the stomach there's no planning for that. I didnt tell anyone because I was to scared about what they'd say and I knew deep down there was nothing that could take it away. It was my fight to fight and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in and how these demons would rattle that place. I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling. I've spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling, that feeling of being lonely that feeling of being lost that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off that feeling of being depressed that feeling of being anxious that feeling of screaming to god begging to take this, only to get silence in return. I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and id turn and turn and toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication the pastor said pray I've tried both and this anxiety hasn't gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today In am actor who got really good at being on today but when I turn off I got right back into the shadows. Im in the deep end now I started in the shallows and I might just drown myself in these waves. Suburban hell these homes are all graves everyones coping with something but won't admit it. Their all to afraid and these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I'm honest maybe they wouldn't think highly of me. Everything they want me to be, is what I'm dying to be. But everything I really am is what im not trying to be. I want them to know they are not alone in their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. I don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm in, terrified that all along god has tallied my sins, and if he has the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke and you keep reading just pass the comic because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose, but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose and then I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside. But he's not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time, He's not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can't get outta bed, I was never made to act like this, I'm packing up my bags and he can't stop me from running fast like this. I'm not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety, I'm shoving the devil back for every time he lied to me, and I'm taking a belt to these demons who whispered dispare in my ear, and I'm ignoring everyone neighsayer who stands and stares when I'm near. I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises I took my pumps. I fell down but I got right back up, so give me a torch and lets light that up. I'm setting fire to the devil and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline. Look at you now, now your not laighing at me, now who's the one whos being tourtured and punked, now who's the one closing every door that I want, now whos the one watching the other burn to the ground. Dont look away from me you better turn back around I'm not done talking to you. Now I'm watching your moves I'm on your back and I'm stalking you, and when you try to ruin some other kids life I'll be stopping you too. You took 31 years of my life and I can't get that back you told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that!. You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then I got found like that. And everything you told me I wasn't, someone new told me I was, and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves, and when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety he reached in placed hope deep inside me. So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me, I'm announcing it now that the devil cant hold me, I'm walking away from the old me and I'm demanding a refund for every lie that you sold me you knew I'd find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior
The beat part of this whole thing is how at the end he didn't really say any of the things he wanted to and that's what makes this so real. Thank you Clayton for using your gift to give us somewhere to go and not feel so alone. ❤
Damn dude. I cried the entire time listening to this. This dude speaks loud and so many of us are quiet out here. Everything he said is exactly how I feel
Hey man it's okay just know god loves you so much and he can't wait to meet you one day and just think how wonderful god look around you he choose to put you on this earth for a reason so one day your going to be thankful you didn't listen to the devil
Don't fight your feelings, live with them, it will be easier. Take a break when you need it, reload your battery. Don't push you to much, you don't need to
Years ago you saved my life with your messages and videos….. I needed to come back here to help me with these new struggles! All I gotta say is thank you!
Me too and everyone says I'm being overdramatic its not that bad you're to old to still care about not having a dad when you grew up and that was a long time ago you need to forget about it.
severe and really bad anxiety and depression and trust issues have had a hold on me since i was in junior high . i am 26 now and it still has a hold of me . i have changed and become cold and emotionally empty i don't remember being so happy in a long time
The part at the end when he realizes he didn’t even say it out loud hits so close to home, I think about saying things and run through the whole thing in my head but often don’t say it
wake up, puddle of sweat I have nightmares when I get back into bed It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat In the back of my head And I can't get them to leave me alone 30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home Because that's when the voices get the loudest Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest But these demons keep pressing me I swear they're the foulest But I've grown comfortable with their presence My conscious is calloused My dreams are their playground My thoughts are their palace I try to evict them, they return with more Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store I was ten the first time I had a panic attack Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that And I didn't tell anyone Because I was too scared about what they'd say And I know deep down there was nothing They could do to take it away It was my fight to fight and my battle to face I remember that house I grew up in And how those demons would rattle that place I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling I've spent my whole life trying to run away from that feeling That feeling of being lonely That feeling of being lost That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off That feeling of being depressed That feeling of being anxious That feeling of screaming to God Begging him to take this Only to get silence in return I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and I'd turn And I turn and I toss to this day The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray I tried both and this anxiety still hasn't gone away So forgive me if I fantasise about being gone today I'm an actor who got really good at being on today But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows I'm in the deep end now but I started in the shallows And I might just drown myself in these waves Suburban hell, these homes are all graves Everyone's coping with something but won't admit it They're all too afraid And these kids are glued to watching me what do I say? If I'm honest with them maybe they won't think highly of me Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be But everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles And I don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm in Terrified that all along God has tallied my sins And if he has the number must be astronomic My life is a joke and you keep reading Just pass the comic Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth I wish I could open up to you and just let loose But my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose And them I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside But he's not going to keep me from pulling The throttle back this time He's not going to keep me trapped like this I can't get out of bed I was never meant to act like this I packin' up my bags and he can't stop me From running fast like this I'm not going to be a slave to these voices of anxiety I'm shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me And I'm taking a bell to these demons Who whispered despair in my ear And I'm ignoring every naysayer Who stands and stares when I'm near I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises, I took my lumps I fell down but I got right back up So give me a torch and lets light that up I'm setting fire to the devil and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline Look at you now, now you're not laughing at me Now whose the one whose being tortured and poked Now whose the one closing every door that I want Now whose the one watching the other burn to the ground Don't look away from me you better turn back around I'm not done talking to you now I'm watching your moves, I'm on your back And I'm stalking you too And when you try to ruin some other kid's life I'll be stopping you too You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that You took me down but I bounced right back I was lost and I got found like that And everything you told me I wasn't Someone new told me I was And everything you hated in me Someone new told me He loves And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me I'm announcing it now that the devil can't hold me I'm walking away from the old me And I'm demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me You knew I'd find a way out sooner or later And I found my escape in the form of a saviour
"Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store" every single word that was said I could relate to, thanks for this it's very inspiring ♡ I suffer from anxiety and depression and this has helped me in a way.
my anxiety imprisoned me for years, i’ve just accepted it.. but youtube been recommending me videos like these and it made me realize i could actually live, i just have to make that effort. i’m on a journey to the life i dream about. i’m so grateful for content creators like this, thank you for making me remember i can take control of my life, thank you for making me realize i’m not alone.
I been battling severe anxiety everyday ever since I was a child. I’m now 24 years old I’ve never had a mother and father nor friends. People don’t understand my struggles so I isolate myself from everyone. People like Clayton jennings gives me hope he speaks everything I could never let out. God bless this man😢😢🙏🙏
Life does get easier I know first hand I have struggled depression anxiety for 30 years of my life suicide thaghts my world is crushed no way out I feel u my friend
The realest part of this is the fact that all of the emotions and feelings and thoughts he was expressing to explain how he is, was all in his head, and he didn't say them. I go to therapy, you guys have no idea how many times I have a clear vision set on what I want to say, and then I just never say it and just try to not answer.
same here,and I hate it..I hate it bc I know that it will help me if I just open up but my damn trust issues prevent me from doing so..and I wanna get the help I need and I wanna..I wanna be the happy,cheerful,creative,energetic person I used to be..
That's the best thing you can do! I remember when I was 10 years old and a I first developed anxiety I would just lay in my bed and beg God to help me. To give me just five minutes of relief. I found these books that went through every Bible story and they gave me peace. It didn't take away my anxiety but it helped me so much. Talking to God and reading His word is sometimes the only thing that brings me peace. I'm so happy it helps you too! God bless.
@@johnnyesponge5656 everyone is good enough to pray. If anything God tells us to come as we are. We need God to help us bevome better so he doesnt expect us to go to him already perfect. Its in our weaknesses that he is glorified. So just pray. If you find it difficult to pray the conventional way you can just talk to him likebhe was in front of you. Have a conversation with him. Thats what I do. I used to feel exactly that way. Like I wasnt good enough.
"I'm in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows." That part always gets me, I've been listening to this for years now. This has been my main inspiration to write my own poems about how anxiety and insecurities feel. I love this so much 💛
First night I heard Clayton I had just lost a family member to an overdose and had attempted suicide. Listened to every song of his I could find and sat in my room and cried and found the strength to see another day. Thank you Clayton
Anyone else just sit on there bed, still crying with this on repeat? Crying, with the constant feeling of hopelessness, jus knowing their life is worthless and has nothing to live for? No family or friends?!
I have both parents and 2 sisters..... I'm about to become aunt.... I have great, big family.... But I am still miserable and feel like I'm all alone in the world..... And I listen to it in car... I can't cry at home where ppl might see me and ask questions..... I couldn't handle that.... (Listen to it at home only during night or when I'm all alone)...
You're life isn't worthless, you have a purpose and have unmeasurable worth, you never know the good you make in peoples lives and the blessing that you are to people around you.
What you are feeling is valid, yet rooted in darkness and lies. Jesus adores you and finds you immeasurably valuable. He cares about your soul & knows what you're going through. Talk to him, yell or cry out if you need to, & he will answer 💛 lifting y'all up in prayer now.
panic attacks , separation anxiety , and depression have been apart of my life for about 3 years now & self harming for 2 years. i’ll be 18 in january but idk if i can make it until then. i feel like i’m drowning 24/7 , but i don’t want to give up just yet. i can’t give up, and i have to be strong..or at least try. idk tbh
anna g smith Take it moment by moment. Believe there’s something good on the other side of it all, even if every fiber of your being tells you otherwise. Let the endurance needed be carved into you through this experience and know you are not the only one experiencing these things. Suicide Prevention Hotline Call: (800) 273-8255 Or text: 741-741 Contact them before you get to that point. There are resources out there. Keep reaching out. Please don’t give up, no matter what the voices tell you. You are worth it, your life is worth living. You are valuable, created with a purpose unique to you. I believe in you. ❤️
Turn to God. He will help you. He loves you and you are worth SO much! God will never leave or abandon you, I promise. He is for you not against you. Only He can help us through these tough situations. Lean on Him at all times!! I promise He will never ever let you down. He is perfect, and an almighty loving God! Praise be to Jesus. You will get through this. Storms are temporary, they are sent to make you not break you. You are getting stronger through this storm! Keep fighting and don’t you ever give up! God will help you through this. Talk to Him daily and pray your heart out! I’m praying for you, God bless you!
Dear Anna. Don't give up. Please don't give up. God has a beautiful, trust me, beautiful plan and purpose for your life. I know it may seem like they're just empty words, but they're true. You are SO cherished and loved by Jesus. I don't even know how hard it is to go through something like that, but Jesus knows. On the cross, he took all that on himself. All of the pain, all of the suffering, all of the sin. He was so anxious he sweat blood. Turn to Him. He understands. I am praying for you today. I believe in you. ♥️
I’ve been in and out of counselling, and I still am I turned to body building and scuba diving and it’s really helped me in different ways being in the water clears my mind and helps me meditate, body building helps me achieve my goals and use my will power and counselling helps me to talk about things that are on my mind. There is no shame in seeking help if anything it shows strength. If your reading this you are strong and you are beautiful inside and out remember you are worthy of love and you are amazing in every single way ❤
I wasn’t sure anyone would catch that. I also based the setting of the video off of Em’s “When I’m Gone” music video. As a kid all I listened to was Eminem. His music seemed to speak to me in my anxiety and depression. I always felt like he was going through it too. I’ve sent him letters and I’ve prayed for him. I hope he finds the same help I found in Jesus.
Clayton Jennings yes it is like the when im gone video oh my goodness! this is truly incredible you both inspire me & im so glad you were able to find the hope in him like i do. You’re amazing, keep it going.. you’re never alone 💜
@@ClaytonJennings i feel the same way i always listen to the rappers from my hometown i live in Michigan which is where Eminem and Nf both lived Eminem lived 37 minutes away from me ive passed his home many times ive passed NFs as well both rappers along with you make me cry daily i quote your music so much even if i found it days ago i still quote it my suicidal friend and i both just sit and listen no words just sitting and crying youve helped me i love your music and i love your faith in god
i'm 31 and i can't even begin to explain how to relate, i watched my daughter die, lost my career in Nursing, Cant be honest around my own family... and this is literally my exact life in word. i cant stop crying and i thank you for putting this into works what i cant even begin to vocalize.
"You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back, you told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that" - Clayton Jennings This verse hit me hard
The only bad thing about this lock down for me is that every night I try to stay up and distract myself from the voices that I hear that keep reminding me of the reasons and the memories I have that gave me anxiety That remind me of why I have it: school I can't help but hope that school never opens again, I just really can't be surrounded by toxic people again that I see 5 days a week
Pls read the book from Jidda Krishnamurti Total freedom and from Robbin Powers the book Unlimited Power some personal development books that will definetly help maybe read the one from Robbin Powers first its a good start when you look to improve your life quality and personal development
I can really relate to those feeling. We have been 2 months in lockdown and it has really been therapeutic for me not seeing a lot of faces 6 times a week at college. I really do want the lockdown to end but I dread when I have to go back to school. The anxiety that comes with assignment, expectations and just being around people you don't feel appreciated in for majority of the time.
I can’t relate. Whenever I’m at school, it’s all about everyone else. I forget that I’m a human. So I usually just forget about my feelings, but this quarantine has me crying in my bed, waiting for someone to answer my text. Hoping that I would be heard by someone. They would say, when we go back, we will have a good time, we won’t forget about you. But they don’t know that I’m forgetting my on self.
![Bmike - Anxiety [Official Music Video]](/img/n.gif)
I hope this helps someone out there. Love you all.
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Made me cry I thought it about my life
I wanna say thank you but im 16 and wanting to end it all
This is so relatable it's scary
Your words lifted my spirit. Thank you
💔
Schools should really start talking about depression and anxiety, not only bullying because sometimes we bring ourselves down, not others.. 😕
bullying caused my depression:(
@@GreenJNR-GG You should report it to an elder :/
Canny Kibbles no, i did before and it just made it worse, so i can’t do it again, but thanks
@@GreenJNR-GG well if you want to talk to me on any social media, then just ask me. I'm willing to help :)
Jag Most bullying is due to what happens at home. Abusive parents.
some ppl don't under depression and having anxiety when u try to look for help they say that you are seeking attention but deep down you are drowning, you really need their help not their judgments
Minenhle Dlamini Fax Bro 🤧
fact
Today I felt like giving up, rocked back and forth hitting my head on the dresser, I laid on the floor with no pain no thoughts just the feeling of numbness, I laid in bed staring outside my window as tears run down my face thinking how I called into work and told them I had the flu but in reality I’m trying to live I’m fighting a battle that no one can see that no one is able to understand, I can’t move talk or even think I’m just numb and lost.
Hey man, I'll pray for you, continue to have faith in God, he'll bring you through it stronger because of it.
That’s exactly what it feels like, drowning.
“I’m an actor who got really good at being on today” that hit deep
Know that feeling all too well.
I know right. And I felt that more than any other sentence in the whole song
I know right
i agree, that's a very powerful line :( to an extent we're all actors, we portray an image of ourselves to society so people can accept us
Jenna 98765 yeah that’s me 24/7 in school and outside
I've turned back to God because of this video . Today is my first day giving up alcohol. I'm depending on Him to get me through this. Thanks man for this video, you're truly helping people ❤
Amen! How is it going for you?
Don’t give up no matter what, and even if you don’t succeed right away, don’t be afraid to try again I know many people who don’t always make it the first attempt! But you Can do this with Jesus on your side all you need to do is surrender to his will and walk with God hand-in-hand! Don’t ever forget how amazing you are in your father’s eyes and you don’t need any poison inside you to make you better. God made you perfectly how you are!
hows it going brother?
May God be with you may he rescue you AMEN
I think I'm trapped
It sucks
I walked back to thos environment
I'm the one who ignored my gut
Gods been here this whole time
Why can't I love my self, as Jesus loves me?!
I hate me
Why?
Only I can answer
Unfortunately
Help me Lord!
The happiest of people are usually the saddest.
Welcome to my life 🙁
God dang exactly, everyone thinks I’m always say I’m a super happy kid but little do they know
This is so true when I’m with my friends in the happiest one in the group but when I get home I just let it out and when I look in the mirror I cry more because I’m so insecure about my body but I’m slowly liking my body more everyday
NOT TRUE 🤣😂🤣
Yeah it is
The loneliest people are the KINDNESSES
The saddest people are the BRIGHTEST
Alll because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did
It's sad but true
Wow now that is the truest thing i have heard in many many years
And the most damaged people are the wisest. And trust me it isn’t easy going thru all this
hey you are right i suffer from deppression but i try to hold on
This hits home. I feel like the loneliest person on the planet. Where is the support when you need it most?
I wake up, puddle of sweat.
I have nightmares and I get back into bed.
It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head.
And I can’t keep them to leave me alone, thirty years old but still hates being alone when I’m home.
Because that’s when the voices get the loudest.
Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest.
But these demons keep pressing me, I swear to the foulest.
But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is coulees.
My dreams are their playground, my thoughts are their palace.
I’ve tried to evict them, they returned with more.
Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store.
I was ten the first time I had an panic attack.
Like a punch to the stomach there is no planning for that.
And I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say.
And I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away.
It was my fight to fight and my battle to face.
I remember that house I grew up in an how these demons would rattle that place.
I’d lay awake at night staring at the ceiling.
I’ve spend my whole life trying to run from that feeling.
That feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being lost when the lights turn off.
That feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious.
The feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this.
Only to get silence in return.
I’d lay In that bed crying and I toss and I turn.
And I turn and I toss till this day.
The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray.
I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away.
So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today.
I’m an actor who got really good at being on today.
But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows.
I’m at the deep end now but I started in the shallows.
And I might just drown myself in these waves.
So burn me in hell, these homes are all graves.
Everyone is coping with something but won’t admit that they all too afraid.
And these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say.
If I’m honest with them, maybe they wont think highly of me.
Everything they want me to be is what I’m dying to be.
But everything I really am, is what I’m not trying to be.
I want them to know they not alone In their struggles.
I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles.
And I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley.
I’m in terrified that all along god is telling my sins.
And if he has the number must be astronomic.
My life is a joke and you keep reading just past the comic.
Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth.
I wish I could open up to you and just let loose.
But my vocal cords get thight when the devil pulls on this news.
And then I’m back at keeping everything bottled up inside.
But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time.
He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this.
I can’t get out of bed, I was never meant to act like this.
I’m packing up my backs and he can’t stop me from running fast like this.
I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety.
I’m showing the devil back for every time that he lied to me.
And I’m taking a belt to this demons who whisper to spear my ear.
And I’m ignoring every nay-sayer who stands and stares when I’m near.
I’m moving forward out of this slum.
I took my bruises I took my lumps.
I felt down but I got right back up.
So give me a torch and just light that up.
I’m sending fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline.
Look at you now.
Now you not laughing at me.
Now who’s the one being tortured and plunked.
Now who’s the one closing every door that I want.
Now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground.
Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around.
I’m not done talking to you now.
I’m watching you moves.
I’m on your back and I’m stalking you too.
And when you try to ruin some other kids life I’ll be stopping you too.
You took thirty years of my life, and I can’t get that back.
You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that.
You took me down but I bounced right back.
I was lost then but I got found like that.
Everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me I was.
And everything you hated in me, someone new told me he loved.
And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety.
He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me.
So I’m done listening to you and let you control me.
I’m announcing now that the devil can’t hold me.
I’m walking away from the old me, and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me.
You knew I would find a way out sooner or later.
And I found my escape in the form of a savior.
Thank you for writing all of this so I could actually read it
.
thank you♥
♥️
Thank you💓
The message in this is the ending, so many times people that deal with anxiety have so much they want/need to say. In private we feel strong, and talk our selves up. Then when we come face to face with it, we just can not bring ourselves to say it. Anxiety took 40 years of my life away. I am more free now then i ever have been. That said it is still a choice i have to keep making. Those voices are still there still putting me down, but i keep reminding myself of how good it feels.
" anxiety is not an item that can return at the store "
ivory claraa I kinda wish it was not that I have anxiety
Yes we watched the video too
I didn't realize I had PTSD I thought it was anxiety
Raynbow402 sorry man thats rough
💯
2.5 million views but only 486k subscribers. You're helping more people than you know, Clayton. Thank you.
:4
Amen
so true... You are amazing Clayton... I dont need a perfect person to tell me how to better. Its through the people who struggle and get through the fire that I follow.
@@adamcarabello6327 Amen 💯🙇❤
That is so true
mom- whats the matter
me- *smiles* nothing
*thinking* don't cry, don't cry
...Yes. So many days I have told myself this. The struggle is real...*big hug*
Ohh,yeah ..
The thing is my mom knows what i go through but I still lie and say nothing
Me every day.. but My mom is not her to ask me this.. so sometimes my mind just do and I start crying..
Only like 5 words buh so much meaning and so true
It’s crazy how much I come back to this 😢 this is so relatable
Me too😢
I first found this song about a month back and I listen to it numerous times a day I have diffrent accounts on my fire stick laptop an phone an on all 3 it’s at the top the words are so relatable it’s scary
The ending really hits cuz thats what everyone says when their asked "are u ok" "yeah I'm fine"
When people ask if I’m ok I answer I’m fine because I don’t want my depression to drag them down with me, if I go down I’m going down alone
@@alexs6746 I feel that. But I also target myself when I have problems with the people who have been around for a long time. I have been working through a lot of my demons and I managed to get thru this year.
You are not fine you want more figure out a wand and let us all know no 60 words per mintute buffit..
@@alexs6746 ur never alone even doe u might not know it xx
Definition of fine. Fucked up. Insecure. Nurotic. Emotional. I suffer from alot of mental disorders. But for the grace of a Higher Power today I can face my issues and recover. It's a slow hard process but there really is light at the end. Just reach out and ask for help. You will be surprised how many people can relate to you. Your never truly alone. Plz people don't give up. I love everyone of you who struggle. Your stronger then you think. There is HOPE. Hold On Pain Ends. Xoxo
It’s scary how a smile and a “just tired” can get people to think your fine...
I’m not I don’t think I ever will be fine but as far as you know and care I am, as long as I’m doing fine I’m school and am not bothering anyone, I’m okay, no matter how much I’m struggling..
To those reading in the comments I know why your here you feel like your giving up, your scared and have no one to go to but someday things may get better we will find someone to help us, maybe one day we’ll actually be fine...
Edit: I never even knew about the reply’s and likes, for one I’m so sorry to everyone who can relate to what I was and still do feel from time to time. I wish I could take that away. But I’m here to tell you it does get easier, as cliche as it sounds, I know it does, it does, maybe not entirely, I’m still waiting for that but those moments when we wish we could smile and genuinely mean it, they do come, and I won’t lie saying that there won’t be bad days, because unfortunately there always will be. I’m simply here to say, just wait, there’s so many things to look forward to, that one song that you’ll cherish forever. The movie you’ll have on repeat. The memories of watching sunsets. The UA-cam videos you’ll never get to see. The books you’ll never get to read. The people you’ll never get to meet.
You will meet people who will accept you for everything you are, and when you do, it will be magical you just need to be there to see it. We both do, so please hold on, let’s take a trip, till the shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time, we’ve already made it to the moon. It was hard I know, but how about we go to Pluto it must be so lonely out there, we’ll make it together. How does that sound. Please hold one, so we can both have those good days, where we can really smile.
if you every need someone to talk to, hit me up, no bullshit
My friends say "I'm a master of hiding my emotions" They have never seen me cry, never seen me ask for help no matter how I really feel, nobody really knows me. Not even myself.
No one ever listens to me. They ask if I'm okay and I just nod and they walk off. But I'm not.
And sometimes I don't want to talk. I just want a hug. Someone to let me know they care. But all I get is a 'Why are you so quiet?'
Even my girlfriend just says that. And my parents don't really care. My mum doesn't accept me, hasn't since I came out. My dad... if I try to talk he just yells.
I can only talk to people online. But that only helps a little.
Charli I can’t relate to everything but I can relate to the first part, and it hurts, it hurts a lot ,but I gotta stay strong, and I can’t let any one irl know I’m weak, so I’ll just stay quiet.🙂
It’s harder for guys and today with society, guys are more scared to express their feelings and ask for help, less males are diagnosed with depression Because they are scared to get help. And we keep to ourselves and so we commit suicide. Because no one cares about males society doesn’t care about males.
The NF of Spoken Word
They actually know each other💕
Hailey M they do?????
Omg so truee
Wowie
Or he could just be the Clayton Jennings of Spoken Word
I'm 29 and I stutter. I can out work, out smart anyone in my career. Every time I hear this, I break down crying 20-30 seconds in. Religions not my cup of tea, but the message hits hard.
I can relate man. Be well
Jesus will save you man ask him for guidance 🙏
That's because religion is for people who are scared of going to hell, but spirituality is for people who have been there. You don't need religion to have faith. God loves you, and I love you
“The doctors gave me medication and the pastors said pray I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away so forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today.” Felt this heavy
Have you tried to meditate? It’s truly amazing, it might take a couple of weeks and it’s worth it, often it takes a lot quicker then that
@@MrBlodhund i tried for like 3-5 days felt nothing and stopped but thanks I’ll try again and give it a few weeks see if it helps 🙏🏼
@@renesolis2169 keep it up, try it daily for 2 months atleast I promise you will feel better, how long have the sessions been? :)
@@MrBlodhund Meditation? How does it work? I mean what do I do to meditate? I'm willing to try anything at this point medicine, drugs has little effect on my anxiety.
On my soul 💔
As someone who struggles with generalized anxiety disorder and clinical depression, this was one of the most powerful videos I've seen in a long, long time. Thank you.
You make so much sense and Clayton ik I’m a loser I’ve all most ended my self I’m bullied all the time but u can always talk to me
Watch "Jesus over Depression". Its the same guy but i feel is more powerful than this.
I also suffer from both.. my anxiaty is crippling .. I never leave the house.. I can't stand being around any1 other than my fiance
I cried! I suffer from anxiety every day is a battle. Thank you Clayton for your beautiful powerful poetry. God bless you 🙏
Me too thank you Clayton
Don't give up
I do too Prbella05, keep fighting!
@@FR-SUNBM You too. I will pray for us🙏
@@jasonmiller8965 Thank you I wont🙏
Almost 35 and this song still hits so hard I have to fight back the tears.I greatly appreciate your music and pray anyone who listens to this will get everything they deserve out of this life.
"Screaming to god begging him to take this only to get silence in return"wow I felt that!
Same
Same😔
God’s timing can be rough , but he does make things all work together for the greater good.
Story of my life 😧
@@See-if_I_care I feel you man 😓☝💯💯
I’m an actor that got really good at being on today. That, that’s the truth for so many of us
Facts
Every day
Ur 9😂
True....
We are all actors sadly...
Dear Anxiety/Spoken Word
I wake up, puddle of sweat, I have nightmares and I get back into bed. It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can’t get them to leave me alone. 30 years old but still hates being alone when I’m home. Because that’s when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest, but these demons keep pressing me, I swear their the foulest. But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is calloused, my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their palace. I tried to evict them, they return with more. Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store. I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack, like a punch to the stomach, there’s no planning for that. and I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say and I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away. It was my fight to fight, and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in and how those demons would rattle that place. I’d lay in my bed awake at night just starring at the ceiling. I’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling; that feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off, that feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious, that feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this, only to get silence in return.
I lay in that bed crying and I’d toss and I’d turn, and I turn and toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray. I’ve tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today, I’m an actor who got really good at being on today, but when I turn off I go right back into the shadows. I’m in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows. And I might just drown myself in these waves. Suburban hell these homes are all graves, everyone’s coping with something but won’t admit it their all too afraid, and these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I’m honest maybe they wont think highly of me. Everything they want me to be, is what I’m dying to be. But everything I really am is what I’m not trying to be.
I want them to know they are not alone in their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. and I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley I’m in, terrified that all along god has tallied my sins, and if he has, the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke, and you keep reading, just pass the comic, Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose, but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose and then I’m back to keeping everything bottled up inside. But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time. He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can’t get outta bed, I was never made to act like this. I’m packing up my bags and he can’t stop me from running fast like this. I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety. I’m shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me, and taking a belt to these demons who whispered despair in my ear, and I’m ignoring everyone neigh sayer who stands and stares when I’m near. I’m moving forward out of this slump; I took my bruises, I took my lumps. I fell down but I got right back up, so give me a torch and lets light that up. I’m setting fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline.
Look at you, now you’re not laughing at me, now who’s the one who’s being tortured and punked. Now who’s the one closing every door that I want, now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground. Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around! I’m not done talking to you! Now I’m watching your moves, I’m on your back and I’m stalking you to, and when you try to ruin some other kids life, I’ll be stopping you too. You took 30 years of my life, and I can’t get that back, you told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that! You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then I got found like that. And everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me i was and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves. And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety, he reached in and placed hope deep inside of me. So I’m done listening to you and letting you control me, I'm announcing it now that the devil can’t hold me, I’m walking away from the old me and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me. You knew I’d find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior.
~Clayton Jennings
J Knitter can u like copy and send this to me
J Knitter ❤️
There's a couple mistakes in here, but nice either way
J Knitter wow hit hard reading that
Thanks!
I rememeber so vividly finding this around when it came out at one of my lowest points, and hearing every word perfectly describing every single feeling in my body and every single feeling piled on top of me. I remember laying in my bed and just listening because I was so exhausted to even keep my eyes open to watch the video. These videos and these words saved me, they gave me the break I needed and something to hear. It kept me from simply giving into myself and letting it all drown me. I dont think Id be where I am, working and moving forward if these words weren't spoken. I may not have the same beliefs, but I was saved in a way. Coming back to this, it makes me feel stronger years later. Thank you
Man... When he says, "I'm good thank you" and walks out.... That was perfectly depicted with how anxiety is.. Everything he wanted too and needed to say... But instead chose to bottle it all up because he felt he didn't have a choice.. anxiety PERFECTLY explained.
Yessss good catch.
True although go home and naturally replay the moment in multiple ways just to prove to our selves we could do it
I agree with this but I also think that this spoke on how anxiety is your own battle that you alone must face. He had nothing to say because he won his own battle.
Absolutely facts 💯
This is absolutely true, I've listened to this and listened to this repeatedly for years now, and that's the part that just breaks me every time. It's so real
My favorite part of this video is the end where he actually didn’t say anything. That’s what really happens. We stay silent. We’re afraid. It’s scary to be vulnerable, but vulnerability brings strength
It also hurts to be vulnerable, that type of fear, that strong of anxiety can make you feel physically sick
That part kills me
And Clayton Jennings has been silent on social media for over a year now. I wonder what’s going on with him
@@mattboyles3590 I wonder too. I often look for posts from him but I haven’t seen anything 🙏🏼💙🙏🏼
Yep very symbolic!! Screaming inside have so much to say but just can't bring g oneself to do it. You can see how much he needs to though aye
He just explained my whole life in 6 mins
Same
Literally, same.
Stf
Stg^
Same
Whose here with me 2024 ?.
Here!
I am
Me
Me
Hello
That is a perfect line: You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that. I love the end of this, it's a perfect rendition of anxiety.....all he said was in his head and anyone with anxiety knows that this is exactly how it works
yes
I can’t even contemplate how many times I thought about killing myself while having my anxiety attacks but I have to be strong. I know there’s no wave that I can’t conquer 😊
I say stuff in my head it always comes out with something different or nothing I’m to scared
Everyone who fights depression and anxiety like me , We are a huge Family and we can get through this together. NEVER GIVE UP
adil Nassiry I love you
Just got out of the hospital yesterday I've spent half my life in therapy and still suffer anxiety and PTSD please pray for me!!
@@cockerspaniel9466 A family is something not everyone gets to have so many people suffer alone because they can't trust their relitaves so how can they trust someone they don't know
@@franklockman5877 youre not alone. Ptsd ruined my life for years and no one ever understood.
be what if you wanna give up?
I just want to hug him to show him he's not alone 😢💔.
Oh man… this hits hard. It’s so hard to express the feelings, the pain, that comes along with depression. It’s so much more than just being sad…
I can’t help but cry, this touched the deep core of me. I hate anxiety I’ve always called it the beast inside me. It rattles in my rib cage & even though I’ve aged it still has some sort of hold on me. I’m battling PTSD & everyday I’m fighting to reach that bright place of recovery, I can honestly say anxiety has never ever really left me, but I pray that one day god will release these shackles from my feet & set me free. Thanks again Clayton you always shine the brightest light for those souls like me who are struggling to find hope in the dark x bless you x
Laura SparkleSoul Laura you need deliverance honey watch something by Derek prince he walks you through biblical deliverance you can free honey God bless you
Laura SparkleSoul your not alone and you are so strong just by talking about it. I’ve been so afraid of it showing my weakness and it’s been a real struggle. I’ll pray for you. 💗🙏 stay strong my friend.
Laura SparkleSoul im feel your pain
I'm fighting a very similar battle, I have PTSD too. I've recently stumbled and am trying to get myself back together while coping with a recent loss of a loved one.
Naturally Blessed
That’s a beautiful name 💖
Your stuff really spoke to me... And now I always believe that God is there for me.... I'm 14 and I went to the hospital for a suicidal attempt.... I watched this video and it really spoke to me and u wanted to say thank you for that... You really helped me in life... And now I know that God is with me everywhere even when I sin... He's still there... Thank you
Iyana Chan not many people know how deep the ending is when he said he was good and didn’t talk.....
Iyana Chan tore strong please stay with us on this earth even if you feel worthless I need you if we lose you heaven gains another angel idk you but I love you🥺💓
Thomas Heaton thank you😭😩
Official Lilz thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Same, I was 13 when I went to a mental hospital for a suicide attempt. And that hospital did nothing to help me, besides give me pills that I now can't refill till I go to a therapist. But my anxiety triggers my depression, and I get anxiety to almost everything that involves socializing. So I'm kinda just stuck here
Social anxiety makes me feel like a weirdo.
I look at normal people talking and laughing and I’m just like I wish I could... maybe... never.
Everytime I talk to someone I sweat and stumble on my words, can’t make eye contact.
Judith great minds think alike. PSOL... please smile out loud. 😅😄🤣🤣😆😀🤣God loves us!!! I think I passed out holding my breath listening to this. Wow
When you give eye contact you're attacking a goal by each person. So collect your gold coins video game player and count them and realize your eye contact and smile helped someone who hurts as you do and more. If you've failed relationships and were innocent and hurt someone long ago in B.C. and A.D., so everyone experienced our pains in a fashion and perhaps identically. I learned a trick. Purchase some Dollar General/Tree plates and a permanent marker. Write down all the hurts and some goods on the plates as much as you can. $20.00, I'm serious here ok??? Then take the stacks and go to a hill and rocky landscape, a playlist.... gospel or jazz is perfect and a sweater, just before night fall (whenever is sound). Grab a plate re-read it and when finished frisbee the heck away and shatter those demons. Scream if you have to like a tennis player. It may sound funny but it may just make you laugh. This will help exert you and perhaps tire you to get home shower and have a nice nights rest. Make sure to break them tho. Do not journal and re-read. Take a friend along for company or not. And the last plate write a prayer to God for complete comfort and say something positive about you and blessings. God knows your heart.... and break that one too. Because we want the past into better changes. 🤣
Judith Marie same.. or whenever i have to read out loud to the class its like i forget how to read and stumble i get sweaty and i just cant do it im glad i found someone i can relate to
You’re not alone. I feel the same.
@@chickenfeathers2607 ! Gold for you. You can do it. Sweaty or not! You are expelling evil fire out of your body that you've suppressed, and simply taking others' pains unknowingly included. So work it out by a Holy Fire Baptismal is what I call it. And spit it out as you do your favorite songs to sing. Do you enjoy singing? You can throw in before your speech about your holy baptismal. Hmm! Crack a joke and say! This is hard work and forgive the perspiration. And go right into your speech about ANXIETY-ANXIETY! It will help others. And when the sweat begins the class will understand in suspense of your wisecrack. Best thing if you don't perspire then you've beat your fear
Thank you for this, I’ve struggled with anxiety since being a child and now in my 40’s. It took a lot to finally admit to others that I had a problem, but Thanks be to God who helped me and you . Thank you again for the words in this and you being on the frontline. I pray that the Lord keeps you in His hands.
He needs to collab with NF
Omg yesss
I'd cry far more than I am right now.
Nah he doesn't.
Or Prince EA
@@g00seyn00sey
YES
My therapist asked me what my anxiety is like and I showed Him this video and it brought him to tears
Hang in there you have a strong purpose
Facts
Stay strong brother
that didnt happen
@@eddiechandler4018 you you have no clue what happens is another person's life your dirt and if i had the chance i would step on you just like it
I’m not the crying type at all. But watching this had tears rolling down my face because it’s crazy to hear someone else speaking of the same things that I deal with and feel everyday, so relatable. Keep it up man. Thank you, I needed this.
Hang on man, we feel this! We are together x
Same...
Wow this hit me hard.Tears pouring.We really need to do something and stop shaming people with mental health issues.
You're not alone 🤗🐾
In Jesus Name I loose this man. I send comfort by the healing hands of Jesus our Lord and Savior. Take your rightful place in Gods kingdom. All his words are full of life and power. Use his words to secure your freedom.
As a retired US Army soldier of 21 years. I turned all of my anxiety, concerns and inner demons over to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior in your heart and soul and the Holy Spirit will live inside you, he will be your counselor, guide and comforter. Praise God and Hallelujah
you understood the message like I did. so many didn't get the important message in the end its sad. its about faith in him and he will help you get through
Thank you so much for your service. You are a hero!
“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering”
Very true
Michael Padilla I’m gonna get this tattooed now
Dmx
Dmx
"if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours".... Hold me down ..... only here cause it hit. this too
"I am 30yrs old and i still hate being alone by myself" ... Yea you're talking to someone that knows
I'm 23 and being alone terrifies me to the point I cry...
I hear ya there I'm 37 its not easy keep ya head up I try daily
33 in sugust,stay strong!
I never comment.. I never feel this connected to a song. God was telling me to watch this because he knew I needed this in my life today. Bless you
He loves you, give everything you have to Him and he’ll be there! reach out if you need someone to talk to, it’s okay not to be okay! you got this❤️
Amen Sister 🙏 Music is my therapist 🎶
Be strong
I'm I almost killed myself when I was 10 I never talked to god but he told my to watch this. I don't watch stuff like this and one day when I was hurting the most and almost ended everything this was on my recommended and that day my 3 year old cousin can yo my house and said " if you die I will kill myself to be with you" I had the rope in my garage idk how she know but she did and it broke my heart
This is art! Absolutely incredible. Showing him walking in. And the last piece is genius!! It hurts to know others feel like this but also reminding me we’re not alone. ❤ hugs to anyone who gets this.
Hugs 🌻🌻😊
❤
I am afraid of many people, I don't want anyone to judge me how I dressed, how I speak, how I behave, how my friends won't take me seriously, they think I am boring, they think I am shy but the truth is that :
I am afraid and I want someone to notice anyone?
Hey i noticed. Whats up, wanna talk about it?
Thank you for noticing I appreciate it!
me too sumtyms I feel like running away I feel worthless
God has notice you please seek him more you will find Him I promise
Godbless :) I'll pray for you
“30 years old but still hates being alone when im home because thats when the voices get the loudests” 😞💔
Me: 100%
Covid has me pulling overtime
@@aliciabeckett399 I have seen some of my family in almost a year due to Covid. I lost my job in May due to Covid. My uncle passed away on January 1st of this year due to suicide. My fiancé and mother to my daughter, left me for another man just a few weeks ago. I work overtime just to afford college. My anxiety is killing me slowly. It’s hard to get past this.
@@scott8908 i’m so sorry. i wish i could tell you that over time it gets better but time doesn’t heal things. you have to have to mindset to get better. i lost my brother in september ever since i have been right in the head.i dream abt seeing him in his casket and it keeps me up. you will get through this just believe in yourself.
@@scott8908 so sorry that your going this I truly hope you are happy or find happiness one day ♥️
You are not alone
I’m 13, I deal with anxiety, depression, and I have attempted suicide twice, I am on antidepressants but it’s so hard.. I’m so sorry to everyone who’s going through the same. I love you all
You will be ok some day
I'm 14 and stated when I was 5.😭😔😣
It’s gonna be ok
Keep your eyes on God
I’m 11 had anxiety before when I was ten now I have anxiety and depression your not going through this alone
I cried the whole way through...I thought I was the only person feeling this way...He spoke of my life ❤
I have anxiety, but Social anxiety is the worst of my demons.
I will say I thought it was funny when the opening was an Anxiety support group. I thought, damn, I'd be too scared to go to one and talk let alone be there. and when he spoke up, I felt that shit down to my core. then in the end, when you realized he never really spoke, and it was just all the things he wished he could say, I felt that shit all over again. great video. very real and very emotional.
thank you for being able to put this into words; its therapeutic.
Angelica Mystique I’m 14 and I’ve spent six years in support groups and therapy, they’ve truly helped me and they might help you too but everyone is different
I wake up, puddle of sweat
I have nightmares, and I get back into bed
It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head
And I can’t get them to leave me alone
Thirty-years old but still hates being alone when I'm home
Because that's when the voices get the loudest
Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest
But these demons keep pressin’ me, I swear they're the foulest
But I've grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is calloused
My dreams are their playground, my thoughts are their palace
I tried to evict them, they returned with more
Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store
I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack
Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that
And I didn't tell anyone because I was too scared about what they'd say
And I knew deep down that there was nothing they could do to take it away
It was my fight to fight and my battle to face
I remember that house I grew up in and how those demons would rattle that place
I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling
I’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling
That feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost
That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off
That feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious
That feeling of screaming to God begging Him to take this
Only to get silence in return
I’d lay in that bed crying, and I'd toss and I’d turn
And I turn and I toss to this day
The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray
I tried both, and this anxiety still hasn't gone away
So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today
I'm an actor who got really good at being on today
But when I turn off, I go right back into the shadows
I'm in the deep-end now, but I started in the shallows
And I might just drown myself in these waves
Suburbian hell, these homes are all graves
Everyone’s coping with something but won't admit it, they're all too afraid
And these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say?
If I'm honest with them, maybe they won't think highly of me
Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be
But everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be
I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles
I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles
And I don't ever think I'll get out of this valley I'm in
Terrified that all along God has tallied my sins
And if He has, the number must be astronomic
My life is a joke, and you keep reading, just pass the comic
Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth
I wish I could open up to you and just let loose
But my vocal cords get tight when the Devil pulls on this noose
And then I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside
But he's not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time
He's not gonna keep me trapped like this
I can't get out of bed, I was never made to act like this
I'm packing up my bags, and he can't stop me from running fast like this
I'm not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety
I'm shoving the Devil back for every time that he lied to me
And I'm taking a belt to these demons who whisper despair in my ear
And I'm ignoring every naysayer who stands and stares when I'm near
I'm moving forward out of this slump
I took my bruises, I took my lumps
I fell down, but I got right back up
So give me a torch, and let's light that up
I'm setting fire to the Devil, and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline
Look at you now, now you're not laughing at me
Now who's the one who's being tortured and punked?
Now who's the one closing every door that I want?
Now who's the one watching the other burn the ground?
Don't look away from me, you better turn back around
I'm not done talking to you now
I'm watching your moves
I'm on your back, and I'm stalking you, too
And when you try to ruin some other kid's life, I'll be stoppin' you, too
You took thirty years of my life, and I can't get that back
You told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that
You took me down, but I bounced right back
I was lost then, and I got found like that
And everything you told me I wasn't someone new told me I was
And everything you hated in me someone new told me He loves
And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety
He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me
So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me
I'm announcing it now that the Devil can't hold me
I'm walking away from the old me
And I'm demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me
You knew I'd find a way out sooner or later
And I found my escape in the form of a Savior
Cant stop watching this
Can you send me these lyrics?
Gabriel Deal bby I can send you them on insta? :)
Thank you soo much..for sharing
Every word is everything I go through every minute of my life
*_WHY DO I ALWAYS CRY WITH HIS VIDEOS?!_*
cuz there sad durr
Because its a reflection of your feelings. Its a relief when you hear someone going threw the same things you are. So you cry. It gives you hope
Maybe he says the words your feeling, its like he's talking about you somehow..
Maybe you can relate to the words he’s saying to something in your life...😕
Same here! He is so inspiring!
This hits deep because I just cry on my own because I feel like relying on someone else is being a burden but God says “My child I’m here and I’ll never leave you. You’re my prized possession, I love you Daughter!”
Anxiety and depression it's real and if you haven't been through it please don't judge me, pray for me!
I will pray for you god bless 🙏🏻
No, I won't pray for you. Change yourself don't rely yourself on others
Thank you, God bless!
@@sushibott3178 Sometimes its just not that easy
@Amy the mythical creature Well suck it up and try and make an effort
People assume that if they see you looking unwell your probably sick.
People don’t realise that you can have a smile on your face, but be so lonely and lost inside 💙
Some of the most supportive people are the ones who need help the most.
Oh my God yes !!!
You got me in the feels
It is easier to help others, then to ask for help when you feel the voices screaming....
I do the same thing and my base friend don's this too
For someone who has depression and anxiety .... I can fully relate with him...
Same I feel what he's saying only if my mind and body would let me believe him to stay but I'm tired of trying
Sameee
Same bruv
You just made me cry! Boy can I relate! No need for words, I hear you.
“And I found my escape through the form of a savior “
💙
Amen🙏🏽
Yes lit 🔥 words. Very wise.
❤️
❤️❤️❤️
God bless
Dear Anxiety/ Spoken Word
I wake up in a puddle of sweat, I have nightmares and I get back into bed, its like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can't get them to leave me alone. 30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home, Because thats when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest, but these demons keep pressing me I swear their the foulest. But ive grown comfortable with their presence my conscious is callist, my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their palace. I tried to evict them they return with more, anxiety isnt a item you can return at a store. I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack, like a punch to the stomach there's no planning for that. I didnt tell anyone because I was to scared about what they'd say and I knew deep down there was nothing that could take it away. It was my fight to fight and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in and how these demons would rattle that place. I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling. I've spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling, that feeling of being lonely that feeling of being lost that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off that feeling of being depressed that feeling of being anxious that feeling of screaming to god begging to take this, only to get silence in return.
I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and id turn and turn and toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication the pastor said pray I've tried both and this anxiety hasn't gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today In am actor who got really good at being on today but when I turn off I got right back into the shadows. Im in the deep end now I started in the shallows and I might just drown myself in these waves. Suburban hell these homes are all graves everyones coping with something but won't admit it. Their all to afraid and these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I'm honest maybe they wouldn't think highly of me. Everything they want me to be, is what I'm dying to be. But everything I really am is what im not trying to be. I want them to know they are not alone in their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. I don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm in, terrified that all along god has tallied my sins, and if he has the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke and you keep reading just pass the comic because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose, but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose and then I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside. But he's not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time, He's not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can't get outta bed, I was never made to act like this, I'm packing up my bags and he can't stop me from running fast like this. I'm not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety, I'm shoving the devil back for every time he lied to me, and I'm taking a belt to these demons who whispered dispare in my ear, and I'm ignoring everyone neighsayer who stands and stares when I'm near. I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises I took my pumps. I fell down but I got right back up, so give me a torch and lets light that up.
I'm setting fire to the devil and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline. Look at you now, now your not laighing at me, now who's the one whos being tourtured and punked, now who's the one closing every door that I want, now whos the one watching the other burn to the ground. Dont look away from me you better turn back around I'm not done talking to you. Now I'm watching your moves I'm on your back and I'm stalking you, and when you try to ruin some other kids life I'll be stopping you too. You took 31 years of my life and I can't get that back you told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that!. You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then I got found like that. And everything you told me I wasn't, someone new told me I was, and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves, and when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety he reached in placed hope deep inside me. So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me, I'm announcing it now that the devil cant hold me, I'm walking away from the old me and I'm demanding a refund for every lie that you sold me you knew I'd find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior
markh12405 thanks u for lyric
Thx
Ty
Just be blessed
NF and you should really do something together!
Or Bmike
Great Idea.
Yea
Yess they should oh my God. Could you imagine him playing fear in intro3
Des Killjoy agreed
The beat part of this whole thing is how at the end he didn't really say any of the things he wanted to and that's what makes this so real. Thank you Clayton for using your gift to give us somewhere to go and not feel so alone. ❤
Damn dude. I cried the entire time listening to this. This dude speaks loud and so many of us are quiet out here. Everything he said is exactly how I feel
Suicidal Thoughts is a common thing for me, I feel like Stress will never leave my side
Stay strong we all love u ❤
Hey man, god will carry you if you let him. Get in a relationship with him man and I promise you won’t regret it
im here for u, bless you♥️
Hey man it's okay just know god loves you so much and he can't wait to meet you one day and just think how wonderful god look around you he choose to put you on this earth for a reason so one day your going to be thankful you didn't listen to the devil
Don't fight your feelings, live with them, it will be easier. Take a break when you need it, reload your battery. Don't push you to much, you don't need to
You realise how much you’re hurting when you relate to every word.
I thought you were Ewok for a second
Years ago you saved my life with your messages and videos….. I needed to come back here to help me with these new struggles! All I gotta say is thank you!
YOU SAVED MY LIFE MAN
THANK YOU!!
❤️
@Aaron11b AMEN!
@Aaron11b i give my words to this prayer
AMEN
HALLELUJAH PRAISE GOD FOR YOUR FREEDOM I’m so happppy for you 😭😍
Hey it’s 7 months later. I hope you are doing okay, I hope one day I have the strength you did. God bless💕
"You took 30 years of my life and I can't get that back" hits me so hard.
Me too and everyone says I'm being overdramatic its not that bad you're to old to still care about not having a dad when you grew up and that was a long time ago you need to forget about it.
@@fordshojoe8080 to be fair we are being over-dramatic, its the definition of anxiety disorders, our brains attacking themselves 🙂
@@freedomordeath89 yea I reckon that's true still doesn't make it right to talk to us like that.
@@fordshojoe8080 don't let it get under your skin bro, don't overthink it, most people say it because for them it's a normal thing to say
severe and really bad anxiety and depression and trust issues have had a hold on me since i was in junior high . i am 26 now and it still has a hold of me . i have changed and become cold and emotionally empty i don't remember being so happy in a long time
Excuse me for fantasizing about being gone today
That line got me too, soo powerful.
i related to that line so hard
😢
So powerful!
I love you, I love you all. It's so rare to find someone who goes through what I do... you are not alone, don't give up. Please 💙
I needed this!! The lord never lets his flock wander too far, he always knows how to bring them home
Who else wants to tell him "Thank u for making this"? 👍🏼👍🏼💯💯🔥🔥💙💙💙
Yes
People dont see this as reality. People seem to think you can get "just out of your head"
This is freaking amazing
Fr
Preach brother!!!! This song has helped me so much! I’m fight depression and anxiety and this songs raises the hair on my arms!!!
The part at the end when he realizes he didn’t even say it out loud hits so close to home, I think about saying things and run through the whole thing in my head but often don’t say it
I found My Escape in the Form of a Saviour that hit me ❣️💯😭❣️💯 Clayton Sir You're a Treasure to our Generation 🇿🇲❣️💯💯💯❣️
Its mad how "silence " can create such change
this was a powerful poem... my heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with anxiety
Thank you
Thx man...
Welcome, i hope you all overcome anxiety 1 day. And i know how you feel, i suffer from social anxiety
Thank you.
Just Thank you for saying the words so many can't Thank you for having the courage
This brought tears to my eyes
Same...not a nice feeling
Same tho
Yeah, Same
I sobbed watching this 😢
Same 😢But it's okay to cry😊
Wow.
Made me cry, didn’t realize how someone could speak what’s in my head.
Thank you.
Love
Hello, i have just uploaded a poem on my channel could you please💖share it with your friends and tell me if you like it, i would really appreciate it
Same here
Same here
Right?! Wow! Its nice to know I’m not alone though!
Will anyone ever truly understand me? 💔
wake up, puddle of sweat
I have nightmares when I get back into bed
It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat
In the back of my head
And I can't get them to leave me alone
30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home
Because that's when the voices get the loudest
Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest
But these demons keep pressing me
I swear they're the foulest
But I've grown comfortable with their presence
My conscious is calloused
My dreams are their playground
My thoughts are their palace
I try to evict them, they return with more
Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store
I was ten the first time I had a panic attack
Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that
And I didn't tell anyone
Because I was too scared about what they'd say
And I know deep down there was nothing
They could do to take it away
It was my fight to fight and my battle to face
I remember that house I grew up in
And how those demons would rattle that place
I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling
I've spent my whole life trying to run away from that feeling
That feeling of being lonely
That feeling of being lost
That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off
That feeling of being depressed
That feeling of being anxious
That feeling of screaming to God
Begging him to take this
Only to get silence in return
I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and I'd turn
And I turn and I toss to this day
The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray
I tried both and this anxiety still hasn't gone away
So forgive me if I fantasise about being gone today
I'm an actor who got really good at being on today
But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows
I'm in the deep end now but I started in the shallows
And I might just drown myself in these waves
Suburban hell, these homes are all graves
Everyone's coping with something but won't admit it
They're all too afraid
And these kids are glued to watching me what do I say?
If I'm honest with them maybe they won't think highly of me
Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be
But everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be
I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles
I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles
And I don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm in
Terrified that all along God has tallied my sins
And if he has the number must be astronomic
My life is a joke and you keep reading
Just pass the comic
Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth
I wish I could open up to you and just let loose
But my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose
And them I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside
But he's not going to keep me from pulling
The throttle back this time
He's not going to keep me trapped like this
I can't get out of bed I was never meant to act like this
I packin' up my bags and he can't stop me
From running fast like this
I'm not going to be a slave to these voices of anxiety
I'm shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me
And I'm taking a bell to these demons
Who whispered despair in my ear
And I'm ignoring every naysayer
Who stands and stares when I'm near
I'm moving forward out of this slump
I took my bruises, I took my lumps
I fell down but I got right back up
So give me a torch and lets light that up
I'm setting fire to the devil and
I'm dousing these demons in gasoline
Look at you now, now you're not laughing at me
Now whose the one whose being tortured and poked
Now whose the one closing every door that I want
Now whose the one watching the other burn to the ground
Don't look away from me you better turn back around
I'm not done talking to you now
I'm watching your moves, I'm on your back
And I'm stalking you too
And when you try to ruin some other kid's life
I'll be stopping you too
You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back
You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that
You took me down but I bounced right back
I was lost and I got found like that
And everything you told me I wasn't
Someone new told me I was
And everything you hated in me
Someone new told me He loves
And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety
He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me
So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me
I'm announcing it now that the devil can't hold me
I'm walking away from the old me
And I'm demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me
You knew I'd find a way out sooner or later
And I found my escape in the form of a saviour
Such powerful words
Such a magical wordsmith
Wow
❤️❤️❤️
wow❤❤i give u a like bc u took ur time to write this👏👏👏
I love his videos they are very inspirational & uplifting... he speaks about REAL LIFE..GOD 🙌
"Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store" every single word that was said I could relate to, thanks for this it's very inspiring ♡ I suffer from anxiety and depression and this has helped me in a way.
“I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety” that made me want to cry
“I found my life in form of a savior” I started crying the second I heard that, it hit home
my anxiety imprisoned me for years, i’ve just accepted it.. but youtube been recommending me videos like these and it made me realize i could actually live, i just have to make that effort. i’m on a journey to the life i dream about. i’m so grateful for content creators like this, thank you for making me remember i can take control of my life, thank you for making me realize i’m not alone.
I been battling severe anxiety everyday ever since I was a child. I’m now 24 years old I’ve never had a mother and father nor friends. People don’t understand my struggles so I isolate myself from everyone. People like Clayton jennings gives me hope he speaks everything I could never let out. God bless this man😢😢🙏🙏
Life does get easier I know first hand I have struggled depression anxiety for 30 years of my life suicide thaghts my world is crushed no way out I feel u my friend
I suffer from anxiety and anorexia...
meditation helps wonders. I started watching youtube videos and listening to it.
The realest part of this is the fact that all of the emotions and feelings and thoughts he was expressing to explain how he is, was all in his head, and he didn't say them. I go to therapy, you guys have no idea how many times I have a clear vision set on what I want to say, and then I just never say it and just try to not answer.
same here,and I hate it..I hate it bc I know that it will help me if I just open up but my damn trust issues prevent me from doing so..and I wanna get the help I need and I wanna..I wanna be the happy,cheerful,creative,energetic person I used to be..
@@londynn6220 you got discord?
@@AltAttano-kq8my yeah but my so called parents turned off the WiFi for it
@@londynn6220 Gotchu, any way we can talk or nah
@@AltAttano-kq8my can we talk
"I found my escape in the form of a savior!!!" … I talk to God every time I'm Anxious. I remind myself and rely on his promise of peace in my life.
That's the best thing you can do! I remember when I was 10 years old and a I first developed anxiety I would just lay in my bed and beg God to help me. To give me just five minutes of relief. I found these books that went through every Bible story and they gave me peace. It didn't take away my anxiety but it helped me so much. Talking to God and reading His word is sometimes the only thing that brings me peace. I'm so happy it helps you too! God bless.
But what if you're not good enough to pray
@@johnnyesponge5656 everyone is good enough to pray. If anything God tells us to come as we are. We need God to help us bevome better so he doesnt expect us to go to him already perfect. Its in our weaknesses that he is glorified. So just pray. If you find it difficult to pray the conventional way you can just talk to him likebhe was in front of you. Have a conversation with him. Thats what I do. I used to feel exactly that way. Like I wasnt good enough.
@@johnnyesponge5656 “a wicked being would not ponder their grace”
Hello, i have just uploaded a poem on my channel could you please💖share it with your friends and tell me if you like it, i would really appreciate it
"I'm in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows." That part always gets me, I've been listening to this for years now. This has been my main inspiration to write my own poems about how anxiety and insecurities feel. I love this so much 💛
First night I heard Clayton I had just lost a family member to an overdose and had attempted suicide. Listened to every song of his I could find and sat in my room and cried and found the strength to see another day. Thank you Clayton
I am happy you kept going. Hugssss
Shit made me cry. I been asleep for days and I feel nothing till now.
Anyone else just sit on there bed, still crying with this on repeat? Crying, with the constant feeling of hopelessness, jus knowing their life is worthless and has nothing to live for? No family or friends?!
Yes😔
I have both parents and 2 sisters..... I'm about to become aunt.... I have great, big family.... But I am still miserable and feel like I'm all alone in the world..... And I listen to it in car... I can't cry at home where ppl might see me and ask questions..... I couldn't handle that....
(Listen to it at home only during night or when I'm all alone)...
You're life isn't worthless, you have a purpose and have unmeasurable worth, you never know the good you make in peoples lives and the blessing that you are to people around you.
What you are feeling is valid, yet rooted in darkness and lies. Jesus adores you and finds you immeasurably valuable. He cares about your soul & knows what you're going through. Talk to him, yell or cry out if you need to, & he will answer 💛 lifting y'all up in prayer now.
@SuperKaylaDee I wanna hug you so much sweetheart ❤️😭
panic attacks , separation anxiety , and depression have been apart of my life for about 3 years now & self harming for 2 years. i’ll be 18 in january but idk if i can make it until then. i feel like i’m drowning 24/7 , but i don’t want to give up just yet. i can’t give up, and i have to be strong..or at least try. idk tbh
You'll get though this!
anna g smith Take it moment by moment. Believe there’s something good on the other side of it all, even if every fiber of your being tells you otherwise. Let the endurance needed be carved into you through this experience and know you are not the only one experiencing these things.
Suicide Prevention Hotline
Call: (800) 273-8255
Or text: 741-741
Contact them before you get to that point.
There are resources out there. Keep reaching out. Please don’t give up, no matter what the voices tell you. You are worth it, your life is worth living. You are valuable, created with a purpose unique to you. I believe in you. ❤️
Turn to God. He will help you. He loves you and you are worth SO much! God will never leave or abandon you, I promise. He is for you not against you. Only He can help us through these tough situations. Lean on Him at all times!! I promise He will never ever let you down. He is perfect, and an almighty loving God! Praise be to Jesus. You will get through this. Storms are temporary, they are sent to make you not break you. You are getting stronger through this storm! Keep fighting and don’t you ever give up! God will help you through this. Talk to Him daily and pray your heart out! I’m praying for you, God bless you!
Dear Anna. Don't give up. Please don't give up. God has a beautiful, trust me, beautiful plan and purpose for your life. I know it may seem like they're just empty words, but they're true. You are SO cherished and loved by Jesus. I don't even know how hard it is to go through something like that, but Jesus knows. On the cross, he took all that on himself. All of the pain, all of the suffering, all of the sin. He was so anxious he sweat blood. Turn to Him. He understands. I am praying for you today. I believe in you. ♥️
i hope you are still living keep fighting things might get better with time
I’ve been in and out of counselling, and I still am I turned to body building and scuba diving and it’s really helped me in different ways being in the water clears my mind and helps me meditate, body building helps me achieve my goals and use my will power and counselling helps me to talk about things that are on my mind. There is no shame in seeking help if anything it shows strength. If your reading this you are strong and you are beautiful inside and out remember you are worthy of love and you are amazing in every single way ❤
This gave me goosebumps. I can relate to this in so many ways...
Very well portrayed.
@@annmarie3141 same
yea, now go buya fucking t-shirt.
Agreed. God will help you through it all though! Turn to Him and He will help you. I promise He won’t let you down. Ever!
3:38 “took my bruises i took my lumps, fell down then got right back up” - Eminem: Beautiful
Its just a saying that many people say but i got eminem vibes from it as well
I wasn’t sure anyone would catch that. I also based the setting of the video off of Em’s “When I’m Gone” music video. As a kid all I listened to was Eminem. His music seemed to speak to me in my anxiety and depression. I always felt like he was going through it too. I’ve sent him letters and I’ve prayed for him. I hope he finds the same help I found in Jesus.
Clayton Jennings yes it is like the when im gone video oh my goodness! this is truly incredible you both inspire me & im so glad you were able to find the hope in him like i do. You’re amazing, keep it going.. you’re never alone 💜
@@ClaytonJennings i feel the same way i always listen to the rappers from my hometown i live in Michigan which is where Eminem and Nf both lived Eminem lived 37 minutes away from me ive passed his home many times ive passed NFs as well both rappers along with you make me cry daily i quote your music so much even if i found it days ago i still quote it my suicidal friend and i both just sit and listen no words just sitting and crying youve helped me i love your music and i love your faith in god
Clayton Jennings his music speaks to me
i'm 31 and i can't even begin to explain how to relate, i watched my daughter die, lost my career in Nursing, Cant be honest around my own family... and this is literally my exact life in word. i cant stop crying and i thank you for putting this into works what i cant even begin to vocalize.
Love sent your way ♥️ Hoping with time the weight of your heart lightens.
@@ajbreeden948 Thankyou and bless u too
This is so relatable. He speaks for every one with anxitety. There is no words for this speak.
Some people can never understand what it is like to live daily with anxiety and depression and not know if the next day will be better or not....
It's crazy how many people come back to this everyday. This song is legendary 💕
2022 anyone??
Unfortunatly here with you. How are you? Hope you're well
How are you doing
yep
2065
Kinda everyday more then 1 time
I feel like he’s pinpointed so many of us, what we’ve gone through / are going through ❤️
We all go through hell dying daily
"You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back, you told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that" - Clayton Jennings
This verse hit me hard
Took 40 years of mine.
Why isn\t there a love button? MY god. I felt every word of this
Me too!
Same
ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴇ sᴀʏs..
ĸιwa naĸaмarυ
(E v e r y t h i n g . . . . . . . .)
Ke too 😭😭😭
@Maya Ahmed me to 😪
I can’t not cry at his words.
@Maya Ahmed stay strong
The only bad thing about this lock down for me is that every night I try to stay up and distract myself from the voices that I hear that keep reminding me of the reasons and the memories I have that gave me anxiety
That remind me of why I have it: school
I can't help but hope that school never opens again, I just really can't be surrounded by toxic people again that I see 5 days a week
Pls read the book from Jidda Krishnamurti Total freedom and from Robbin Powers the book Unlimited Power some personal development books that will definetly help maybe read the one from Robbin Powers first its a good start when you look to improve your life quality and personal development
I can really relate to those feeling. We have been 2 months in lockdown and it has really been therapeutic for me not seeing a lot of faces 6 times a week at college. I really do want the lockdown to end but I dread when I have to go back to school. The anxiety that comes with assignment, expectations and just being around people you don't feel appreciated in for majority of the time.
Can relate man
I can’t relate. Whenever I’m at school, it’s all about everyone else. I forget that I’m a human. So I usually just forget about my feelings, but this quarantine has me crying in my bed, waiting for someone to answer my text. Hoping that I would be heard by someone. They would say, when we go back, we will have a good time, we won’t forget about you. But they don’t know that I’m forgetting my on self.
I relate :/