[1266] My 18-Inch Long Johnson (April Fools Video)

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  • Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
  • www.covertinstruments.com
    Happy April 1st to everyone... to see some of my past April 1st videos that follow this genre, follow the links below and have fun. 👍
    [1435] How To Fill My Wife’s Beaver
    • [1435] How To Fill My ...
    [1266] My 18-Inch Long Johnson (April Fools Video) • [1266] My 18-Inch Long...
    [1071] Getting In My Ex-Girlfriend’s Back Door (April Fools Video) • [1071] Getting In My E...
    [862] Getting Into My Wife’s Beaver (April Fools Video) • [862] Getting Into My ...
    [651] Manipulating My Tiny Coq (April Fools Video) • [651] Manipulating My ...
    To purchase some of the tools I use, go to www.covertinstruments.com

КОМЕНТАРІ • 11 тис.

  • @lockpickinglawyer
    @lockpickinglawyer  3 роки тому +18326

    Happy April 1st to everyone... to see some of my past April 1st videos that follow this genre, follow the links below and have fun. 👍
    [1435] How To Fill My Wife’s Beaver
    ua-cam.com/video/EhuNRWskgNQ/v-deo.html
    [1266] My 18-Inch Long Johnson (April Fools Video) ua-cam.com/video/m-tKnjFwleU/v-deo.html
    [1071] Getting In My Ex-Girlfriend’s Back Door (April Fools Video) ua-cam.com/video/Joed0P3hhbc/v-deo.html
    [862] Getting Into My Wife’s Beaver (April Fools Video) ua-cam.com/video/TRozAbaKs9M/v-deo.html
    [651] Manipulating My Tiny Coq (April Fools Video) ua-cam.com/video/k9VewWKfH_0/v-deo.html

    • @SullySadface
      @SullySadface 3 роки тому +268

      Oh, I'm very familiar with your wife's Beaver, but I had completely overlooked your Coq.

    • @akhilesh9862
      @akhilesh9862 3 роки тому +65

      Please create a playlist for these so we can share these easily😁

    • @1982asd
      @1982asd 3 роки тому +46

      "Getting In My Ex-Girlfriend’s Back Door"
      Haha that was a great title

    • @chrisosborne4731
      @chrisosborne4731 3 роки тому +46

      This was great, but you didn't show us the technique for removing your Johnson from the opening if it gets stuck.
      I like watching the picking. :P

    • @mhersaribekyan1487
      @mhersaribekyan1487 3 роки тому +7

      Nice lock

  • @ShadoCroc
    @ShadoCroc 3 роки тому +17273

    He didn't waste even 1 sentence. It's just a punchline after punchline. And everything makes sense. This is peak comedy! Wow.

    • @beekeeperq3224
      @beekeeperq3224 3 роки тому +58

      Always perfect

    • @obsu
      @obsu 3 роки тому +135

      Comedy? He's just talking about his 18 inch long johnson, what's the joke?

    • @WritesMe
      @WritesMe 3 роки тому +20

      Every year.

    • @frankmurphy5
      @frankmurphy5 3 роки тому +1

      He could open for Carrot Top

    • @whussgoood
      @whussgoood 3 роки тому +21

      @@obsu idk seems pretty informative to me

  • @joonashannila8751
    @joonashannila8751 3 роки тому +2492

    My wife said from the next room "WTF are you watching" when she heard this

    • @tigriukasinlove
      @tigriukasinlove 3 роки тому +195

      18-Inch Long Johnson.

    • @sheep8464
      @sheep8464 3 роки тому +171

      Was she impressed at least?

    • @riganrevenger3530
      @riganrevenger3530 3 роки тому +110

      @@sheep8464 no, she said its a rookie number

    • @ObadiahtheSlim
      @ObadiahtheSlim 3 роки тому +139

      Just say porn. It's easier to explain.

    • @rf159a
      @rf159a 3 роки тому +6

      LMAO!!!

  • @GENOSAD
    @GENOSAD 2 роки тому +6474

    I can't imagine him recording this without a big, stupid grin on his face.

    • @neilsunnguyen6831
      @neilsunnguyen6831 2 роки тому +50

      Wdym? That was me the entire time

    • @urallnoobs8943
      @urallnoobs8943 2 роки тому +72

      he probably was grinning hella hard and we can't see it anyways

    • @bachaddict
      @bachaddict 2 роки тому +86

      I think he almost cracks at 0:37!

    • @thatguyalex2835
      @thatguyalex2835 2 роки тому +4

      @@bachaddict Bananas. :)

    • @MunyuShizumi
      @MunyuShizumi 2 роки тому +17

      As someone who repeatedly made coworkers record stuff like this for silly IVR messages, I can confirm that the first 5 takes are grinning and laughing all over, but then it gets repetitive to the point of no longer being funny enough to induce involuntary giggling, which is when the "real" recording starts. I'm assuming this is just take 8 or so and all the giggling is in behind-the-scenes blooper footage.

  • @dragonfireproductions790
    @dragonfireproductions790 2 роки тому +2533

    "When my father took me inside and revealed that he too had an unusual Johnson"
    Bruh I laughed so loud i cant breathe 💀

    • @kylesullenberger6367
      @kylesullenberger6367 2 роки тому +33

      3 am and I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe either! Probably woke up my landlord

    • @da-be-ju
      @da-be-ju 8 місяців тому +3

      aside, not inside

  • @Smeggit7
    @Smeggit7 3 роки тому +2546

    After Mrs LPL is finished with LPL's 18 inch Johnson: "Lets try that again to make sure it wasn't a fluke".

    • @RaphYkun
      @RaphYkun 3 роки тому +127

      Next year, it'll be a disc detainer core so they can get Bosnian Bill to help.

    • @SolarWebsite
      @SolarWebsite 3 роки тому +71

      "Let's insert this pick that Bosnian Bill and I made"

    • @OtakuUnitedStudio
      @OtakuUnitedStudio 3 роки тому +53

      His response: "We should probably try again from the front and back while we're at it, to make sure it works for both."

    • @RhinoBarbarian
      @RhinoBarbarian 3 роки тому +44

      "And one more time because, let's be honest, this never gets old."

    • @The-Listener
      @The-Listener 3 роки тому +19

      @@RhinoBarbarian "now lets see if this 21 inch rod from my father works as well as my own"

  • @gibospartan6185
    @gibospartan6185 3 роки тому +13877

    3 years ago he had a tiny Coq and now he has an 18 inch Johnson. What a transformation.

    • @muzzers2776
      @muzzers2776 3 роки тому +467

      character development

    • @---hw6up
      @---hw6up 3 роки тому +188

      A success story

    • @AdittyaC7
      @AdittyaC7 3 роки тому +177

      He still has his 2.5 inch coq beside him... He never forgets his past

    • @greenhorngaming6993
      @greenhorngaming6993 3 роки тому +76

      I guess there is hope for me after all. 😆

    • @Cole-xq2tl
      @Cole-xq2tl 3 роки тому +181

      Doctors hate him, find out why

  • @davidchen8863
    @davidchen8863 3 роки тому +3919

    LPL: This ... is a 18-inch Long Johnson.
    Mrs. LPL: DEAR GOD!
    LPL: There is more.
    Mrs. LPL: NO!

    • @TrevorMoin
      @TrevorMoin 3 роки тому +97

      I understood that reference :D
      RIP in peace Soldier, I know you're up there teleporting bread to your hearts content!

    • @proshredda91
      @proshredda91 3 роки тому +24

      @@TrevorMoin I did too. Now i'm trying to hold back massive amounts of laughter. I'm not doing too great at the moment lol.

    • @nickkayfabe6147
      @nickkayfabe6147 2 роки тому +12

      Surprise, B U T T S E C K S

    • @tanfred8629
      @tanfred8629 2 роки тому +6

      @@TrevorMoin rip means rest in peace

    • @aoyuki1409
      @aoyuki1409 2 роки тому +13

      @@tanfred8629 the soldier has a habit of either ripping people into pieces with his rocket launcher or shotgun, or rip himself trying to rocket jump

  • @nuyabuisness7526
    @nuyabuisness7526 2 роки тому +806

    60% of any joke is the delivery, and this man nails it perfectly. I wonder how many takes he had to do to avoid cracking up in the delivery.

    • @chrispartosbro4555
      @chrispartosbro4555 2 роки тому +4

      Head gasket went on my mates car, i asked him where he let it, he replied "the church var park till Friday, with any luck they will bury it", i just replied "i'd leave it till Monday if i was you" so he says "why Monday?" without a giggle i said "they might give it Sunday service". he loved it, could hear him chuckle half way down the street.

    • @spahzz
      @spahzz 2 роки тому +23

      LPL doesn't need takes. He performs it live every time someone clicks the play button.

    • @BrainPermaDeD
      @BrainPermaDeD 2 роки тому +7

      LPL is a lawyer and lawyers are practiced to say everything dry af.

    • @smashyrashy
      @smashyrashy Рік тому +1

      Probably only 1

  • @HootyFruityOwl
    @HootyFruityOwl 3 роки тому +8525

    it makes so much sense this guy is a lawyer because he's able to say the most ridiculous things while sounding completely logical and not breaking a damn sweat

    • @ShjadeNexayre
      @ShjadeNexayre 3 роки тому +305

      He does pause for a breath around 2:20 long enough that I couldn't help thinking he might've had to compose himself after that delivery. xD

    • @CheeseDanish85
      @CheeseDanish85 3 роки тому +96

      And this was the first take too. Stone cold joker.

    •  3 роки тому +227

      It's also worth noting that all the ridiculous things are just implied, and everything he says is actually technically correct (the best kind of correct).

    • @FlyboyUS
      @FlyboyUS 3 роки тому +6

      He's not a lawyer he's just sarcastic

    • @Yukimaru0
      @Yukimaru0 3 роки тому +20

      @@FlyboyUS I thought he got his name from being a lawyer who was into lock picking?

  • @marimbaguy715
    @marimbaguy715 3 роки тому +12004

    LPL continues to be the best part of April Fools' Day

  • @brillopower1492
    @brillopower1492 2 роки тому +239

    As far as I can tell this was done in one take (no splicing etc). That means he got through over 3 minutes stuffed with innuendo without his voice even cracking. Simply marvelous!

    • @bennyk384
      @bennyk384 Рік тому +16

      His voice cracks very slightly at the end, but he’s an absolute trooper

    • @MastaDRD
      @MastaDRD 6 місяців тому +1

      Bro must've had a gun to his nuts the entire time, I can't even fathom..... ......goddamnit....
      .............................lasting that long.

  • @hughjassFrom7YearsAgo
    @hughjassFrom7YearsAgo 3 роки тому +178

    I started to get worried when he started to handle his fathers Johnson

    • @proloycodes
      @proloycodes 2 роки тому +6

      yeah man, me too. it's too rare to be handled by LPL even, let alone anyone else

  • @mohalledaar5798
    @mohalledaar5798 3 роки тому +20234

    I waited a whole year for this.

  • @larrybud
    @larrybud 3 роки тому +1751

    "Scream on 1, nothing on 2, a little bit of resistance on 3..."

    • @ransom2610
      @ransom2610 3 роки тому +8

      lmao, I am proud.

    • @EckoUntitl
      @EckoUntitl 3 роки тому +61

      Tears on 4

    • @JackTalyorD
      @JackTalyorD 3 роки тому +28

      I hope there's nothing binding in that don't think it's a good idea to jam a shim in the top to pop in open and definitely don't put to much tension at the bottom.

    • @ricvanesh9445
      @ricvanesh9445 3 роки тому +35

      "wiggling a little and it will open by itself, just like that"

    • @con_tent
      @con_tent 3 роки тому +17

      Sadly mine isn’t built amazingly. I can just shove something big in there without effort and it will open in seconds. I’m not very proud

  • @altercaze
    @altercaze Місяць тому +5

    3 years later. Coming from the latest episode. This is gold!

  • @SpyroTheEternalNight
    @SpyroTheEternalNight 2 роки тому +984

    Johnson Auto Lock Co: "oh hey, LPL is reviewing one of our locks! ok Mr Bigshot, let's see if you have what it takes to get past our product."
    LPL: "you ram the johnson in 6-8 inches" "put it in the rear" "my father's is even bigger and he let me handle it"
    Johnson Auto Lock Co: confusion and terror

    • @rnaodmsomething
      @rnaodmsomething 2 роки тому +30

      P U R E C O N F U S I O N

    • @MrPzyt
      @MrPzyt 2 роки тому +43

      Actually I think it is a perfect commercial. I will certainly remember what is 18 inch Johnson for a looong time.

    • @phuongvu527
      @phuongvu527 Місяць тому

      ​@@MrPzyt true. Among countless locks i've seen from this channel, nothing beat 18-inches Johnson 😅

  • @evane5526
    @evane5526 3 роки тому +2609

    Imagine working for years to create your perfect lock design for it just to become a “that’s what she said” joke

  • @SHAMEJUST
    @SHAMEJUST 3 роки тому +2604

    Deaf people: That is a wierd lock but cool
    Blind people: Wtf!

  • @NEEDbacon
    @NEEDbacon 2 роки тому +74

    I feel like LPL has a specific collection of locks with amusing names purely for the sake of April 1st. And bless him for it.

  • @LastTryMedia
    @LastTryMedia 4 місяці тому +3

    Perfect delivery as always xD

  • @chrisoverbey5937
    @chrisoverbey5937 3 роки тому +509

    My Johnson does have one inexcusable flaw: it’s easily defeated with a jiggler attack

    • @mysterious_drake
      @mysterious_drake 3 роки тому +19

      You've got to be careful with your covert tools, after all... 🤣

    • @Toropetskii
      @Toropetskii 3 роки тому +1

      Tested for comb pick vulnerability yet?

    • @IrisGalaxis
      @IrisGalaxis 3 роки тому

      Mine, not so easily.

  • @dumango4455
    @dumango4455 3 роки тому +10548

    The fact that everything he’s saying makes sense is so much better

    • @anti8028
      @anti8028 3 роки тому +76

      no the fact that he’s a lawyer makes it so much better

    • @YoutubeIsAGarbagePit
      @YoutubeIsAGarbagePit 3 роки тому +43

      His one about sneaking in his girlfriends backdoor is great too

    • @intercakefederation
      @intercakefederation 3 роки тому +30

      Holly shit, I didn't see April fools because it auto played and believed every word he said. I was so confused when I saw the title, that was awesome

    • @lanceanthony198
      @lanceanthony198 3 роки тому +16

      Technically there’s nothing inherently immature about what he is narrating

    •  3 роки тому +16

      @@anti8028 His being a lawyer helps with these immensely. Lawyers (especially contract lawyers which he seems to be one of, according to some comment I read) learn how to use language with *very high* precision.

  • @themilkman8858
    @themilkman8858 2 роки тому +33

    2:15 "I never imagined is get to handle one" that line really got me

  • @LeoHKepler
    @LeoHKepler 2 роки тому +71

    BUSTED! Awesome video, I had a good 4-5 minutes of laughing like I hadn't in a long time. Though I had to go back and see... indeed, at 2:20 I hear a lil chuckle! I'm still amazed at how well you kept it together for this video.

  • @Acornsgo
    @Acornsgo 3 роки тому +5544

    Every word of this is so dirty and yet perfectly clean

  • @aaronmurphy9271
    @aaronmurphy9271 3 роки тому +3016

    The fact he was able to do one take without laughing is impressive

    • @Omnihil777
      @Omnihil777 3 роки тому +83

      ...in a laywer tone. Admireable.

    • @MrNascar1111
      @MrNascar1111 3 роки тому +32

      How do you know it was one take

    • @williamgriffin1749
      @williamgriffin1749 3 роки тому

      How is it funny!?

    • @xkryde
      @xkryde 3 роки тому +5

      I can imagine that he's laughing his heart out when he was editing the video.

    • @OriginalPiMan
      @OriginalPiMan 3 роки тому +11

      He fairly apparently did the motions in one take, but there is nothing to say whether the audio was all in one take.

  • @lucassalinas1165
    @lucassalinas1165 3 роки тому +22

    2:51 You can literally hear him containing his laughter

  • @EnoVarma
    @EnoVarma 2 роки тому +44

    Freud could write volumes about this guy.

  • @Hawkeye_PC
    @Hawkeye_PC 3 роки тому +1198

    How this man manages to keep a straight voice despite what I imagine is a shit eating grin on his face as he rapid fires these jokes out is beyond me.

    • @BlueCollarBachelor
      @BlueCollarBachelor 3 роки тому +76

      He's a lawyer. Literally trained to speak this way.

    • @therandomdickhead5744
      @therandomdickhead5744 3 роки тому +35

      I imagine his face is completely deadpan but he's giggling on the inside

    • @UnnamedSeeker
      @UnnamedSeeker 3 роки тому +8

      More likely recording video and voice separately, than overlaying voice into video.

    • @austintrajkovski3007
      @austintrajkovski3007 3 роки тому +29

      For all we know this is the 69th attempt

    • @TheDalhuck
      @TheDalhuck 3 роки тому +5

      @@austintrajkovski3007 nice

  • @milymentalist
    @milymentalist 3 роки тому +864

    How you even manage to say "18-inch johnson" without cracking up is beyond me

    • @PTHME21
      @PTHME21 3 роки тому +29

      Likely his profession as a lawyer makes this a hell of allot easier

    • @WinterGray8888
      @WinterGray8888 3 роки тому +10

      Many, many, many takes

    • @RuLeZ1988
      @RuLeZ1988 3 роки тому +6

      You didn't see the recording attempts. :D

  • @KiwiMan5S5
    @KiwiMan5S5 2 роки тому +56

    You know what, There’s no way he did this with a straight face either

  • @joefresh314
    @joefresh314 2 роки тому +11

    2:54 i love he almost breaks character when he says johnson

  • @kapone2k
    @kapone2k 3 роки тому +1260

    The real April fools joke was that his wife got interested in locks...

    • @praisethesun5873
      @praisethesun5873 3 роки тому +3

      @Big Smoke OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

    • @gcflower99
      @gcflower99 3 роки тому

      Or, at least she got interested in a nice Jonson!!

    • @kapone2k
      @kapone2k 3 роки тому

      @@gcflower99 What woman ain't at least a little curious about a long and gerthy Johnson that is still stiff yet flexible that can lock things up pretty well.

    • @tanushbhansali
      @tanushbhansali 3 роки тому

      Ok wait I didn't even realise that

  • @danhostetler1423
    @danhostetler1423 3 роки тому +1598

    I wonder if he writes these April Fool's scripts a year in advance and just recites them over and over through the year so he can just deadpan straight deliver these videos in a single take.

    • @nicholaslittle2312
      @nicholaslittle2312 3 роки тому +59

      Nah. He's just a dead-pan kind of guy.

    • @BrendanOrr
      @BrendanOrr 3 роки тому +25

      It makes you wonder: How long has he been holding onto that Johnson?

    • @DinnerForkTongue
      @DinnerForkTongue 3 роки тому +15

      You say that like he's capable of _not_ deadpan. Guy's a lawyer, remember?

  • @mrmcspiff4014
    @mrmcspiff4014 2 роки тому +13

    The fact you were able to pull off something this long in one take without blowing it is amazing. You deserve an award, but all I have is a like button.

  • @beesoffury
    @beesoffury 3 роки тому +1881

    The fact that he can do this all in one take is nothing short of amazing. I’d be 3 words in and giggling like a school girl.

    • @Nareimooncatt
      @Nareimooncatt 3 роки тому +97

      This was just the one take where he did make it through. I want to know how many prior takes were interrupted. Lol

    • @seanrice5313
      @seanrice5313 3 роки тому +50

      @@Nareimooncatt I myself picture him only doing one take for all of his videos. He's that good.

    • @Darkassassin09
      @Darkassassin09 3 роки тому +17

      I have a feeling there's more than one try to get a clean take

    • @mikoajp.5890
      @mikoajp.5890 3 роки тому +22

      I guess the lawyer part kicks in and aids delivering whatever-whenever with a straight face

    • @MisterMerf
      @MisterMerf 3 роки тому +7

      @@Nareimooncatt Yes, you can tell he's struggling to maintain that delivery. The mirth nearly breaks through 😆

  • @ChengTeoh
    @ChengTeoh 3 роки тому +15269

    This is a top tier April Fools gag that I hope never ends.
    Can't wait to see what you come up with for Season 5.

    • @potatogeorge6066
      @potatogeorge6066 3 роки тому +95

      heh... april fools _gag_

    • @imobmo6165
      @imobmo6165 3 роки тому +8

      Thank you! I needed that laugh

    • @tylink99
      @tylink99 3 роки тому +1

      agreeeee

    • @eviebr83
      @eviebr83 3 роки тому +12

      It's worth watching the one where he tries to get access to his ex's backdoor 🤔🤔😅

    • @daddymememaster5432
      @daddymememaster5432 3 роки тому +4

      @@potatogeorge6066 I applaud you, sir.

  • @anthony5227
    @anthony5227 Рік тому +1

    I love your channel. I been watching for years. It’s wild that you make thit exact same content.
    A lock, getting opened. With only your hands shown.
    And it’s still so entertaining. Your commentary with the simplicity of the video is what I love.
    With that being said. This is legitimate a comedic episode.
    Great work.

  • @wiltmarlonelao
    @wiltmarlonelao 2 роки тому

    I'm writing this in the second week of march and I really just cannot wait for this month to be over, so that I can welcome April with big smiles and hearty laughs. Thanks for this series, LPL!

  • @thebaccathatchews
    @thebaccathatchews 3 роки тому +2024

    You won't find this kind of quality content anywhere else.

    • @AxxLAfriku
      @AxxLAfriku 3 роки тому +3

      Let me get this straight: You comment something that is unrelated to the fact that I have two DANGEROUSLY DASHING girlfriends? Considering that I am the unprettiest UA-camr ever, having two hot girlfriends is really incredible. Yet you did not mention that at all. I am quite disappointed, dear bacca

    • @takeyourdamnmeds
      @takeyourdamnmeds 3 роки тому +13

      @@AxxLAfriku sus among us

    • @jitendra1991
      @jitendra1991 3 роки тому +1

      Maybe Ranton

    • @alex2005z
      @alex2005z 3 роки тому +5

      @@AxxLAfriku go away bot

    • @ThatPsillyDude
      @ThatPsillyDude 3 роки тому

      Can we just talk about how awesome that name is though 😂

  • @Sup3rAJ2
    @Sup3rAJ2 3 роки тому +1843

    LockPickingLawyer is the only man alive capable of pulling off a dong joke in any situation

    • @sequentially8083
      @sequentially8083 3 роки тому +29

      Some might say he’s really good at pulling off

    • @doubledoot
      @doubledoot 3 роки тому +10

      I'm surprised he didn't even snicker during that whole video.

    • @borischan5252
      @borischan5252 3 роки тому +8

      He is very good at picking the little holes and make them come out

    • @detrilogue3174
      @detrilogue3174 3 роки тому +12

      When your entire channel is about puttin' things in holes and getting through backdoors, the jokes are inevitable.

    • @mjouwbuis
      @mjouwbuis 3 роки тому +1

      @@doubledoot I would be curious to know whether it took him more than one take to record.

  • @bigstretchdaddy
    @bigstretchdaddy Рік тому +1

    For those of you who disliked this video I guess I can't blame you.... I to am jealous of his beautiful long hard Johnson! I have a Johnson of my own but mine is just the standard 6 inch variant. While it is adequate for most uses it fails to impress for those looking for something more "adventurous". It's these times and others like it that have left me to with a feeling that my Johnson isn't what I need it to be sometimes leading to a negative outlook and quite a bit of shyness when showing my small Johnson to others. But I digress... I am taking steps to improve my Johnson!

  • @user-lm7gn4it7e
    @user-lm7gn4it7e 10 місяців тому

    I love that the videos still make sense without any innuend

  • @bryansanjose2867
    @bryansanjose2867 3 роки тому +4138

    "Iv read about Johnsons this long but never imagined I'd get to handle one" LMAO

    • @loganmcbride7304
      @loganmcbride7304 3 роки тому +64

      I started reading this exactly when he started saying it.
      This is the 3rd time that’s happened to me this week.

    • @user-kx8pu6ys5i
      @user-kx8pu6ys5i 3 роки тому +11

      @@loganmcbride7304 quarantine does that

    • @chrisphillips1130
      @chrisphillips1130 3 роки тому +6

      @@loganmcbride7304 I just had the exact same thing 😂

    • @freedomlover7768
      @freedomlover7768 2 роки тому +14

      *sweet home alabama intensifies*

    • @SaviourV
      @SaviourV 11 місяців тому

      Humour aside, that's the first time I've seen one of those locks.
      I don't think they're used regularly, over here in Malaysia, but I could be wrong.
      Which industries use these, by the way?

  • @PlagueRat69
    @PlagueRat69 3 роки тому +1892

    most UA-camrs on April fools: "gone wrong gone sexual!"
    LPL on April Fools: "hehehe. dick."

  • @ShadowryuuPmP
    @ShadowryuuPmP 2 роки тому

    You delivered everything in such a calm and serious manner... while i lie in the corner unable to breath... Brilliant

  • @Jixxor
    @Jixxor 2 роки тому

    I love this. I hope they never stop coming on April 1st. Its the one thing i look forward to about April 1

  • @strad1024
    @strad1024 3 роки тому +7870

    God, I would kill to see the bloopers on these April Fools videos

    • @omg-bh4pg
      @omg-bh4pg 3 роки тому +216

      Yup happened to me on the ex girlfriend backdoor one. I binged a bunch of lpl and that one came up. I was confused about the innuendo as there is nothing in the video itself to give away that it is a joke. I took a look at the comments and started over from the beginning. And searched for all of them.

    • @Wolfhound_81
      @Wolfhound_81 3 роки тому +215

      There were none. LPL doesn't laugh, LPL doesn't cry, he's the next Chuck Norris :D

    • @rexyaxy4314
      @rexyaxy4314 3 роки тому +104

      there are no bloopers, he does them all first try, he's just that serious and mature

    • @Cyrogenesis.
      @Cyrogenesis. 3 роки тому +31

      @@Wolfhound_81 his depression get higher per year. In his newer vids his pitch just lowers

    • @SupremeDP
      @SupremeDP 3 роки тому

      Ouf yes please lol

  • @riceman00
    @riceman00 3 роки тому +736

    Imagine if this was the first video you saw, and weren’t aware of it being an April Fools parody. Perfect introduction.

    • @MyIreallydontcare
      @MyIreallydontcare 3 роки тому +4

      It fecking was mate.

    • @savageboredom
      @savageboredom 3 роки тому +8

      One of his old April Fools gags (I think the Beaver) was the first LPL video I ever saw. Been hooked ever since.

    • @dexobj
      @dexobj 3 роки тому +6

      Perfect introduction is also what Ms LPL said

    • @InquisitiveMind876
      @InquisitiveMind876 3 роки тому +1

      I totally forgot until I saw the previous year vids 😅

    • @sirgreggorygroda
      @sirgreggorygroda 3 роки тому +1

      I got hooked on his coq

  • @stevenmondel7593
    @stevenmondel7593 Рік тому

    A friend just set this video to me on facebook. I was hysterical, the descriptions were delivered in a cool calm manor like you were presenting evidence to a jury. BTW I bought the Off Grid Knives Black Mamba because of your video. Keep up the good work.

  • @K2theAblam
    @K2theAblam 2 роки тому +1

    I can't believe you did this in one take without cracking up at any point. This is incredible!

  • @firedrake110
    @firedrake110 3 роки тому +815

    "My father's Johnson has a wide, bulbous feature at the end of the shaft"
    DEAD

    • @strider04
      @strider04 3 роки тому +12

      I died when he talked about getting to handle it

    • @koover
      @koover 3 роки тому +1

      Unrelated but cool golden sun avatar

  • @nsxdarin
    @nsxdarin 3 роки тому +446

    props to your dad for still having a functional Johnson

  • @sedentarycub5775
    @sedentarycub5775 2 роки тому

    Absolutely incredible. Bravo LPL

  • @FPSMadness
    @FPSMadness 3 роки тому +1

    Omg the set up on this was amazing.. your done so well on this one

  • @mark.fedorov
    @mark.fedorov 3 роки тому +847

    me trying to not giggle:
    "In terms of maturity we have no maturity"

  • @Master0fHyrule
    @Master0fHyrule 3 роки тому +11197

    Last year was getting in his ex-girlfriend back door
    This year is getting a bigger lock.
    I enjoy these April Fool videos.

    • @mud_slushie1488
      @mud_slushie1488 3 роки тому +38

      Look up the 2018 and 2019 videos aswell, they are pure gold

    • @omegakrest
      @omegakrest 3 роки тому +9

      bigger Johnson 😁

    • @pablopicaro7649
      @pablopicaro7649 3 роки тому +8

      LPL couldn't Beat his 18" or 24" Johnson, he couldn't get them off. Maybe could use Jiggler to open his LeCoq Lock .

    • @vietcongbuondanbannuocphan1791
      @vietcongbuondanbannuocphan1791 3 роки тому +6

      Going in the back door with something 18 inch long, will caused his ex to wear diaper

    • @StofStuiver
      @StofStuiver 3 роки тому +2

      omg, that was a year ago already
      whoaaa

  • @elliotmurphy-jo6yd
    @elliotmurphy-jo6yd 2 місяці тому +4

    I love this. Can't stop laughing

  • @javinbieganski9698
    @javinbieganski9698 Рік тому +1

    tward the end you can just hear the smile on his face.

  • @stephensee5417
    @stephensee5417 3 роки тому +575

    "I've read about Johnson's this long but never imagined I'd get to handle one" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    • @andrewseburn
      @andrewseburn 3 роки тому +5

      I innocently thought he'd stop at "get to see one".

    • @TheMarkoSeke
      @TheMarkoSeke 3 роки тому +9

      AND IT'S HIS FATHER'S

    • @mariokarter13
      @mariokarter13 3 роки тому

      Johnson & Johnson has a whole new meaning.

    • @Doubie.
      @Doubie. 3 роки тому

      “That’s what she said”

  • @zencomeseasy602
    @zencomeseasy602 3 роки тому +849

    I can't help but feel like a "wife also liked his father's johnson" joke was vetoed.

    • @philippkuhn2515
      @philippkuhn2515 3 роки тому +14

      Oh absolutely, I mean, it was so clearly ripe for the picking that I was surprised it didn't go there

    • @Ori_fr
      @Ori_fr 3 роки тому +3

      @@philippkuhn2515 too easy, the fact that he didn't make that joke makes it even funnier I think

    • @NealD
      @NealD 3 роки тому

      EXACTLY

  • @unknown20005
    @unknown20005 6 місяців тому +2

    bro is dodging ban’s on his channel like neo dodging bullets

  • @arlopaden9794
    @arlopaden9794 3 роки тому +24

    this is the best innuendo anyone has ever done absolutely flawless

  • @TheKiruNias
    @TheKiruNias 3 роки тому +699

    From tiny Coq to an 18-inch long Johnson... someone has been clicking questionable ads, and it worked
    We've come a long way

    • @bryanl1984
      @bryanl1984 3 роки тому +11

      "Buy these pills, it'll enlarge your Johnson by 2" a week!"
      "Holky shit, they actually work!!!!!"
      ...
      "Why are you selling these through spam, _everyone_ would buy these?!?!
      " try my best but.... but... Nobody Believes Me..QQ"

    • @songogu9
      @songogu9 3 роки тому +1

      We finally know the real owner of the swedish pump

    • @MyName-sx3mr
      @MyName-sx3mr 3 роки тому +1

      @@songogu9 yeah, that kind of thing just isn't his bag...baby

    • @WhiteTheKnee
      @WhiteTheKnee 3 роки тому

      a "long" way pffttttt hahaha.

  • @squid_cake
    @squid_cake 3 роки тому +917

    I imagine some crafty 10 year old who's really interested in locks watching this entire video and thinking "what's the joke?"

    • @advorak8529
      @advorak8529 3 роки тому +22

      And nobody will explain.
      That’s how you motivate kids to use search engines (and get around content filters - which tend to be Swiss cheese, unless they are the great firewall and backed by repression).

    • @reecec1170
      @reecec1170 3 роки тому +4

      Kids are stupid these days and have no disapline it's stupid

    • @lyrisio
      @lyrisio 3 роки тому

      @@advorak8529 huh?? kids use search engines?? I don't know what you're trying to get at.

    • @codyuglow4399
      @codyuglow4399 3 роки тому +49

      @@reecec1170 Says the one who spelled Discipline "disapline."

    • @gonzo8744
      @gonzo8744 3 роки тому +25

      @@reecec1170 maybe you should learn how to spell before you call kids stupid.

  • @fredcm3849
    @fredcm3849 2 роки тому

    I appreciate you taking advantage of the situation

  • @darkener3210
    @darkener3210 2 роки тому

    At the very end you can barely hear him crack a smile but quickly put it away as to not ruin the perfect take at the very end.

  • @zeanomourph1
    @zeanomourph1 3 роки тому +1260

    A moment of silence for my brothers who fell asleep with youtube on autoplay and woke up listening to this

    • @pepealasquid6005
      @pepealasquid6005 3 роки тому +6

      Lmao

    • @jacobsmith6585
      @jacobsmith6585 3 роки тому +15

      I was listening with this in the background while it autoplayed..very surprising

  • @Biejai
    @Biejai 3 роки тому +736

    Recording this with a straight face is the real achievement here, hats off to this performance. Oscar worthy!

    • @brownro214
      @brownro214 3 роки тому +22

      We have no idea how crooked his face might have been during this recording since he never shows it. He was probably grinning ear to ear.

    • @perrylc8812
      @perrylc8812 3 роки тому

      Wondering how many takes he had to do?

    • @joseiten3647
      @joseiten3647 3 роки тому +11

      You can hear his voice almost crack in laughter at 2:21

    • @justincarawan-carawanco.pu1639
      @justincarawan-carawanco.pu1639 3 роки тому

      @@joseiten3647 Didn't notice that before, thanks.

    • @helloeverybodization
      @helloeverybodization 3 роки тому

      That's the lawyer part.

  • @capricorndragon6268
    @capricorndragon6268 Рік тому

    I had seen this reacted to on quite a few TT videos. It is hilarious and truthful. Great work.

  • @TmcIIIvideo
    @TmcIIIvideo Місяць тому

    It’s like “blows” to the head, repeated poundings…” innuendo if you will, I’m exhausted from that….” it’s genius I tell you!

  • @CharAznableLoNZ
    @CharAznableLoNZ 2 роки тому

    What makes this for me is just how straight man you present it in your tone. Great writing.

  • @mitchkelly
    @mitchkelly 3 роки тому +1361

    I waited a year for this and it did not disappoint.

    • @bassboatsbeyond4710
      @bassboatsbeyond4710 3 роки тому +1

      Same

    • @anonUK
      @anonUK 3 роки тому

      So I heard.

    • @user-td3bt4ch7j
      @user-td3bt4ch7j 3 роки тому +2

      Damn it, I even forgot about that April's Fool tradition and didn't check the video. Sorry, LPL, now I got the importance of the bell button.

  • @pawel8365
    @pawel8365 3 роки тому +483

    The real masterpiece is doing this in one take without bursting out laughing

    • @SolarWebsite
      @SolarWebsite 3 роки тому +8

      I'm quite sure this is not the first take, but it is very, very well done. Easily some of the best April 1st stuff I came across today.

    • @OtakuUnitedStudio
      @OtakuUnitedStudio 3 роки тому +7

      This is just the take he used. How many attempts did it take to get this one?

    • @tonystolz4982
      @tonystolz4982 3 роки тому +2

      He almost cracked at 35 seconds...lol. I was crying the whole time.

    • @johndoberman4970
      @johndoberman4970 3 роки тому +1

      @@SolarWebsite they mean all in one shot, not the actual first take

  • @AAAPMC
    @AAAPMC 2 роки тому

    Well done. Accurate commentary with just a hint of sarcasm and enough Double entendre to make this a great April 1st edition.

  • @beastiebunny
    @beastiebunny 2 роки тому +2

    I've followed you on UA-cam for quite some time and this is the first time I've viewed this video. It took me almost 10 mins to wipe the tears from my eyes, I was laughing so hard.

    • @kyleguajardo
      @kyleguajardo 2 роки тому

      Watch his other April Fools videos in preparation for this year

  • @CaptainWwowW
    @CaptainWwowW 3 роки тому +624

    Amazed at his ability to deliver this in one shot with no giggles

    • @antanis
      @antanis 3 роки тому +16

      The power of lawyering

    • @therandomdickhead5744
      @therandomdickhead5744 3 роки тому +1

      @@antanis them lawyering skills do come in handy

    • @Hipp0campus_1
      @Hipp0campus_1 3 роки тому +1

      @David Needler A good taken care of older Johnson often works fine. If you have problems during insertion, you might lube it up a little and you will notice the shaft will slide in easily.

  • @Zightz
    @Zightz 3 роки тому +668

    I'm so impressed he manages to keep this up every year.

  • @kylesullenberger6367
    @kylesullenberger6367 2 роки тому

    Omg your so serious usually! I wasn't expecting to die of laughter today!

  • @anrew1000
    @anrew1000 3 роки тому +4

    Oh man this is incredible. I can’t believe I’m only just seeing this now 😂 UA-cam’s most underrated video 😂😂😂

  • @ScottKenny1978
    @ScottKenny1978 3 роки тому +834

    I am amazed that you managed to not even *sound* like you were smiling...

    • @theadenter
      @theadenter 3 роки тому +28

      He did it very good. Only after careful listening I've heard some subtle change of the voice like if he is smiling a little.

    • @leocossham
      @leocossham 3 роки тому +1

      Underrated comment

    • @ScottKenny1978
      @ScottKenny1978 3 роки тому +5

      @Dyanosis except that doing funny stuff like that gets harder the more you say it. (Been there, done that, performed live)

    • @M00000oooo00000
      @M00000oooo00000 3 роки тому +1

      thats where the 2nd part of his name comes in

    • @ck88777
      @ck88777 3 роки тому

      he sounds like hes holding back at the end there, you can hear a change

  • @JackBarlowStudios
    @JackBarlowStudios 3 роки тому +599

    The last three years have set up a bit of an expectation. You did not disappoint.

    • @electronicengineer
      @electronicengineer 3 роки тому +6

      LPL totally delivered. I really can't wait for 04/01/2022

  • @OzzieOz80
    @OzzieOz80 2 роки тому

    Listening to your April 1st videos at work and trying to not laugh out loud! Well played sir!

  • @dominicspier6917
    @dominicspier6917 2 роки тому

    Bruh it's just winner after winner. Every word of every line is absolutely perfect. This is the perfect video, I'm done, this is All I need for the rest of my life.

  • @artiem5262
    @artiem5262 3 роки тому +532

    As a retired attorney, I'll tell you -- not only are there advanced law school classes to help you perfect this kind of delivery, there are also classes to teach you to sit through things such as this, and far, far worse, without so much as blinking. And then there's "maintaining a look of attentive concern" while someone reads from a phone book -- in Finnish.

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 3 роки тому +24

      I suggest practicing on cows. As long as you hold that feed bucket, they will listen to anything you have to say.

    • @artiem5262
      @artiem5262 3 роки тому +66

      @@geraldfrost4710 That's not going to help you develop your delivery. The challenge is to do it with dogs -- if you can keep a dog's attention, just with your voice, you've got it. But if you pause or stall, the dog goes back to licking his balls, you've lost his attention and you need to do better.

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 3 роки тому +37

      @@artiem5262 I'm pretty sure any elocution teacher reading this will not comment because they will have had a coronary.
      It being the day, my son sent me a picture of two hams held together by a C-clamp. He's a chef, so he often sends me strange food related stuff.
      The caption was "If you're happy and you know it..."

    • @fetchstixRHD
      @fetchstixRHD 3 роки тому +1

      I think I'm gonna need those classes, honestly 🙂

    • @Mazaroth
      @Mazaroth 3 роки тому +4

      Suomi mainittu, torilla tavataan!
      Eikun perkele, ei pysty koska korona.

  • @omegakrest
    @omegakrest 3 роки тому +606

    LPL proved once again that his sense of humor is just as sharp,on point and entertaining, as his lock picking skills. Mrs. LPL is one lucky lady.

    • @larcberger1559
      @larcberger1559 3 роки тому +35

      Well of course shes a lucky lady, any lady would count herself lucky if her man had an 18 inch johnson

    • @tomasmarkov2577
      @tomasmarkov2577 3 роки тому +1

      @@larcberger1559 lmao

    • @omegakrest
      @omegakrest 3 роки тому

      @@larcberger1559 😁 yea, having a huge johnson is one thing, but knowing how to use it like a pro is another level

  • @soyz6375
    @soyz6375 2 роки тому

    OMG! Never watched one of your April Fools Video. You got me by surprise there. This is pure gold!

  • @Brievel
    @Brievel Рік тому

    I think I heard you almost giggle twice? I have no idea how you managed this straight-faced. It was golden.

  • @romeo_alpha0176
    @romeo_alpha0176 3 роки тому +519

    Walked up in the club like “What up, I got a big lock”.

    • @insurancefraud1933
      @insurancefraud1933 3 роки тому +1

      Or, “What’s up, I got an 18 Inch Johnson, wanna check it out?”

    • @newlevelaerial4875
      @newlevelaerial4875 3 роки тому +1

      Underrated comment

    • @TrueJamo
      @TrueJamo 3 роки тому +2

      @@insurancefraud1933 yea that ain't how the song goes.

  • @rileybrown9045
    @rileybrown9045 3 роки тому +452

    From a 2.5 inch coq to an 18 inch johnson: I don't think this big of a change comes without a professionals touch.

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 3 роки тому +10

      Like the plastic surgeon who hung himself?

    • @splosh2070
      @splosh2070 3 роки тому +7

      2.5 inch coq to an 18 inch long Johnson, exactly what the adverts on the side of porn hub advertise

    • @fetchstixRHD
      @fetchstixRHD 3 роки тому +2

      I was waiting for this comment, I would have been disappointed if nobody dropped that 😂

    • @zrobotics
      @zrobotics 3 роки тому +1

      Would it be safe to say LPL is a grow-er, not a show-er?

    • @rileybrown9045
      @rileybrown9045 3 роки тому +2

      @@zrobotics it would be safe to say he makes up for it with technique

  • @thunderatsea3843
    @thunderatsea3843 2 роки тому

    LEWD! Like watching you videos, and how quick you pick locks. Thank you for all the videos, and have fun picking.

  • @davidhopley2661
    @davidhopley2661 2 роки тому

    I applaud you for doing this in an unbroken take without cracking

  • @pyromaniac000000
    @pyromaniac000000 3 роки тому +501

    My dude is on a whole different level with these, the absolute greatest shitposts of all time

  • @ShawnTheDriver
    @ShawnTheDriver 3 роки тому +390

    LPL casually telling us he handled his father’s Johnson.

    • @bare_bear_hands
      @bare_bear_hands 3 роки тому +40

      I mean, it's a 24 inch Johnson, that's pretty impressive.

    • @sheep8464
      @sheep8464 3 роки тому +9

      @@bare_bear_hands when you realize he can just fit the tip tho

    • @get-the-joke
      @get-the-joke 3 роки тому +2

      He should check out Ari Aster's short film _The Strange Thing About the Johnsons._

    • @ian1231100
      @ian1231100 3 роки тому +5

      @@bare_bear_hands With a wide bulbous tip too

  • @davidp2888
    @davidp2888 2 роки тому +1

    This man’s delivery is so dry and factual. Truly a great video.

  • @zackftw2748
    @zackftw2748 8 місяців тому +3

    Deaf guy: “cool locks!”
    Blind guy: “WTF??”

  • @seanunderscorepry
    @seanunderscorepry 3 роки тому +831

    Can only imagine LPL quietly laughing to himself as he wrote this script, haha

    • @Director_Delta
      @Director_Delta 3 роки тому +6

      im sorry, but I had to like even though you were at 169 likes. I did this because I like your comment, and know that some other person (a very uncultured one) would like it anyways so i just liked it anyway

    • @sebastianwendl603
      @sebastianwendl603 3 роки тому +1

      @@Director_Delta same with 369. Maybe it will stop at 420 so we are all freed from this burden :)

    • @Director_Delta
      @Director_Delta 3 роки тому +1

      @@sebastianwendl603 alas, for the comment is too good, and many people wish to like the comment.

    • @Themilesrock
      @Themilesrock 3 роки тому +4

      I was the 420th like

    • @mylastaccountgotbanned2393
      @mylastaccountgotbanned2393 3 роки тому +4

      god this reply section is stupid

  • @Enzotiso
    @Enzotiso 3 роки тому +368

    Holy crap he always NAILS the delivery of these, it's to perfect.

  • @jasondarcy7403
    @jasondarcy7403 2 роки тому +1

    I would love to see a video of any outtakes you had making these April fools videos, I can’t imagine you made it through the scripts without breaking out with laughter