One of the most common ways to interact with a stranger but not keep it akward is if you're asking for help with that person. This way the stranger knows you and they know you trusted them enought to ask for help which makes them likely in order to speak to you or maybe break the ice between you too. At the very least, this would make tensions between you two nonexistent and interactions a lot more smooth. The only way you'll ever see whether or not I am right is to simply do it yourself. In the end, it's only your decision and yours only.
I had this EXACT same problem a couple of years ago. I practiced by talking to people about anything. Hobbies, my plans for the day, my feelings, routines, etc. Hell, you could even go abstract and say whatever comes to your mind first. There's no wrong way to talk to people, you just have to get consistent on the flow. Making sure the conversation flows properly was my biggest flaw, but I practiced, and now I can walk up to practically anyone and just talk. It's not much, but I hope this helps.
Pro tip that helped me break out of my shell: people are always in their thoughts. they're always thinking more about themselves than you are. Nobody is judging you as much as you think they are and if they are in the rare sitution, judgement is quite literally a reflection of how someone feels about themselves. Basic Psychology !
@@clementsiow176 you know, you just think too much. People have been having conversations with other people for thousands of years and you're not different.... When you're talking to someone just focus on the person and really listen to them. You can do it!
For me, the hard part was silences; I was always afraid they would make me or the other person feel awkward. It really helped when I learned that awkwardness is a normal part of life and relationships, and not a problem at all. When you embrace the fact that sometimes there will be silences and awkwardness and that it is okay, talking to anyone becomes 200% easier
You've summed it up pretty well :) I've been saying since primary school - What I look for in a friend is the (both-sided) *ability to be comfortable in silence*. And honestly, sometimes that's just up to the chemistry I might or might not feel with another person. It's all "RNG" haha... Here's 1 example: I have a group of guy-friends and we've been through it all, our mothers brought us to the same parks for the first years of our lives, we joined the same kindergarden, then were the same class in the primary school, then separated a little in highschool, and studied the same profession in our separate colleges, and now work at totally different places. You'd think we were great together but honestly, I hardly ever feel comfortable when we just co-exist in our mutual silences. And I don't want to be arrogant but it's the lack of reciprocity towards my energy, most times hah. I think I used to be the "black sheep" of the group. But anyhow, to continue the thought - We know each other our entire lives, you could even say we're "best friends"... But that awkward silence is never going away. We're friends because each and every one of us TRIES and works towards that friendship, but I've had first-time meetups and conversations that had the amount of chemistry of my entire friendgroup, and then squared. Soo, yeah, RNG. Or hard work. Or both, or neither. It's all up to the individual.
For those who feel self conscious about not knowing how to talk to people and watching a video on how to do it, there’s nothing to feel ashamed of. Communication is a skill and can be learned and mastered over time. Let’s all become great communicators. I’m taking this journey with too.
Something that helps me bc I also feel like this is if you remember that even if you're going to have an awkward interaction with a stranger, you'll probably never see them again and they'll have forgotten you in a week.
A lot of times we overthink things and picture interactions going in the worst direction possible. In reality most people enjoy getting some attention especially when its from someone who is honestly interested in listening :) dont give up on your goals to be more open
If there was one mistake I made in life and now regret, it was that I didn't spend the rest of my childhood going out and spending time with friends and learning, observing, and building social skills to be able to talk to people. Like everyone in the comments section, I was also socially awkward and introverted, and my dumass old self said that I didn't need to interact with people because it was a waste of time and energy to even try. That mindset led me to what I am currently feeling: loneliness, pathetic, and a lack of self-confidence and communication. Every time I try to talk, I either talk too fast or say something that people won't know because I keep on mumbling or stuttering. And the replies I get are "Sorry, I don't understand?" or "Can you speak slowly?" or "Can you repeat that one more time?" IT'S SO DAMN FRUSTRATING AND I HATE IT, NOT ON THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTING LIKE THIS, BUT IM MAD AT MYSELF FOR WHY I BECAME LIKE THIS. And even after multiple attempts to improve this problem, I still manage to fumble and repeat this cycle again and again. Now all I ever wanted right now is people or at least someone who I could talk to normally and to make sure I kept them accompanied and made them feel comfortable around me, not being an anti-social and awkward person who was dying on the inside and always blaming themself. Right now, I'm still finding ways to be a better social person, and I will promise to become a better person for myself and for those, I dearly want to spend my time with. (I speaking this to the commenters below, because I know you all can relate to this and it's ok, we all can have our time to overcome it if you are experiencing the same problem. Feel free to comment.)
Hey listen to me. It’s completely fine what you’re going through. First make a rule to yourself, to speak slowly always. And practice speaking slowly with yourself. And remember, it is not your job to entertain somebody or make somebody feel comfortable. Just be your authentic self, and if somebody likes you after that, great if not then don’t care. Remember, you’re not here to impress or please anybody other than your own self.
Sing often. That will help your speech flow smoothly. I’m talking about sing your heart out. At home of course. Being nervous is normal we all go through it. Get used to getting your heart rate up by going for jogs, ride rollercoasters, whatever will get your blood pumping. I hope you overcome your challenges friend
I recommend watching "I want to eat your pancreas" anime movie! (I know it is a super weird name if u hv not heard it before 😂)....it can be confidence booster!! All the best ~~
my problems are a) I never know what to say and b) I worry a lot about making people uncomfortable when I want to engage a conversation with a stranger
a) just talk about the things you like, BUT if you like sports and you find yourself at an anime convention, best bet is sports isn't your talking point. It's all about common sense. Someone says/looks tired, probably not the best time to talk complicated and engaging topics, etc etc
i was a shy and timid girl, i'm so scared to talk to my friend or classmate. so my first step on practicing to communicate and open up is by greeting the cleaners in my school. i mean they are the one that keep our school clean, so i at least need to appreciate and greet them, right? just a simple "morning!" and smile then walk away, but that small step that i took really help me feel comfortable to speak today
U know, this reminds me of the time I just started conversing with the school security guard outside my school bc I just felt I was suffocating while sitting alone inside where I didn’t know anyone. Ig it only helps yourself whenever u throw yourself into a situation where u need to be social, that’s how u get practice.
I faced this similar issue as well. I really wanna get out this bad habit, and branch myself into more topics, not only the people that is of my interest. Matey, don’t be discouraged, I’m on my way to overcome this problem and I encourage you to start your journey !!
I completed the 100 interactions challenge in 13 days. Feels amazing, though most of them were people I knew, number of interactions grew slowly as I progressed. On my way to be more confident 💪
that moment when youtube knows on its own that you cant speak with people so it keeps recommending you various how to talk to people videos, without you ever searching for it
I have been trying this challenge for a lonngg time... I still cant transition into deeper conversations. Maybe I'm just an introvert who hates being an introvert cause society hates us
What I've learned is that everyone is just waiting for the other person to start the conversation, which often leads to an awkward silence due to both sides waiting for the opposing person to begin engaging the topic. Talking first, or starting with an introduction or a handshake isn't really awkward. You may think that people may see you as odd or a show-off, but that is purely or mostly in your own thoughts. In contrast, in my personal experience, when someone starts the conversation first, I feel relieved more than I feel annoyed at them.
honestly this is quite true recently i literally went up to a random girl in school and asked her if she wanted some nuts which i was munching on to share, i realise how sus that was now but after a awkward laugh and silence we sat together and talked for a while. Yet after that kind of interaction im still often unable to go up to new ppl or have convos its strange guess the more i do it the easier and natural it becomes
Yeah. And sometimes awkward pauses happen, but it's typically because the other person is thinking of what to say. Sometimes you need to let them pick back up the conversation instead of both of you accidentally starting to talk at the same time and then going "Oh sorry no you can go first" and then that back and forth. Give the other person time, but don't let the conversation drop because you were just waiting on them.
The main point is to reduce online interactions and try to go and interact with people in real life to have all the factors playing like " sign language, etc. " so If we want to improve our social and communication skills we just have to try to talk to different people even by saying hi • This is what I have understood from the video and for anyone reading my comment I hope you have a great day
Even online I can't talk to people using my vc on game or others things I can only talk alot to my 3 real friends since they listen to me and I speak alot of my day to them but to other people I'm just quest as heck i don't have confidence or what start to talk to.
SAME if im trying to talk to someone my mind instantly clears then im like damn now idk what to say and its just silence and i can never make friends bc of it ;-;
Next time you find yourself with a stranger you really wanna talk to and you're unsure what to say next after pleasantries. I mean that moment when you're blank...the awkward silence. Just tell that stranger you are having a social experiment and they are the subject of this experiment, this will probably crack them up or make them mad, if they get mad, apologise and walk away but that won't happen. If they are finding your experiment talk interesting and fun, proceed to telling them how you're always puzzled about what to say to strangers and ask them if they are like you. A stranger who is not like you would have a lot to say here, stretching the conversation here would be or should be easy. If the stranger is like you, he/she would likely respond with a short answer saying just "yes" or "no", proceed to asking them "why they feel they are like that". They'll probably be blank here. You could then take your time to educate them, telling them about what you learned in this video, of course you don't wanna tell them you watched a video, I wouldn't but you could try that...its an experiment anyway 😉 Things should go smoothly from here. Try this conversation with the next subject of your experiment and the one after, overtime you'll get better. -You should know I'm an introvert and I also suck at conversations otherwise I wouldn't be here, so I'm gonna take my own advice and try this too 😅
Talking feels embarrassing. I’m so nervous about tripping over my words, or saying the wrong things. It feels like a weight is on my shoulder everytime I try to write or talk. I’m breaking out of this mindset and doing better to keep communication steady, flowing, and beautiful like I had when I was a child!
I think that is because of some trauma. Embarrassment for talking is not okay. Embarrassment isnt really the most natural response. It really limits growth. Im trying to get out of it too. Just remember you are doing alright
One thing that helps me is to realize that everyone is just a person. No matter if it’s your crush or just another person, they aren’t actively evaluating you and determining whether you are worth being around. They’re just talking to you. You’re also just a person to them and they’re not gonna think your stupid for approaching them, especially if you are already friends.
Can I please get some advice. So I have decided to start talking to people in my school but I realized that everyone is already in developed friend groups and I want to enter some friend groups but I want to do it more discreetly. I don't want to be labled the poor kid who has no friends when I enter the group (Even though I am 💀) Help. Please
@@Dreamer-rg4eb I really, really wish I had a solution to this but I have this exact problem. I am in a group of people but no one really takes me seriously so it still feels like I’m alone. And honestly idk how to join a random group of people without them seeing me as a random lonely person like you said. I’d suggest finding people who are also alone and saying hi to them, and every now and then I find people I naturally feel comfortable talking to. But otherwise I’m waiting until college where no one will know each other and that problem won’t exist in the beginning.
@@Dreamer-rg4eb People fo have groups but it's not possible that they're together all the time, so if you befriend (or fimiliarise) with even two people (of a group of say 5 people) separately, that should practically give you an entry in that group as having someone fimiliar to talk to automatically fimiliarises you with the rest. Also patience, these things take time and we can't rush them just cuz we want them
I’ve learned to just stay calm. I used to get anxious when talking to people, especially random people who just walked up to me. Wether it’s a causal convo on the street, or a job interview, I always listen to understand, think about the question/statement, and then respond as if we are friends just having a convo. I also find that smiling and being open tends to help a lot as well, and that makes the other person feel comfortable enough to have a conversation.
those are awesome points! many of which I utilize as well. i just uploaded a video on how i overcame social anxiety and the fear of public speaking. if you check it out, let me know.
I’m finally getting to the point to where I can talk to people with all most no anxiety and I all most have fun,so keep on working on it you can become social!!
Literally the easiest way to talk to people is to ask questions. Most people love to talk about themselves it also keeps the conversation going and it makes people think you’re actually interested in what they’re saying
I'm shy, awkward, introverted and I overthink a lot. This is why I don't socialize. It's exhausting but I'll try. *Edit: Dude, I didn't even know it'd reach this amount of likes. I thought my comment was just cringe asf. An update in my life for those who're curious; ftf classes started and I am faced with a bunch of people to interact. The first day of school was nerve-wracking. I had to sit all by myself in the corner of the room as I knew no one. However, I was not entirely alone. There was one person in front of me who also seemed to be really nervous just as I am. Hence, I tapped on their shoulder and made light conversations like, "what's your name?" "you should sit next to me, I feel kind of lonely all alone here hahaha". One way to enhance your communicating skill is to make the first move. I, myself don't like small talks but everything has got to start from scratch. My hands were literally shaking. I was thinking of how to continue the conversation. Luckily, this dude was quite talkative, hence everything went well and we became friends. I felt awesome after that. I'm still working on how to talk to a big group of people but this much is already a big improvement on my side.*
Getting a customer service job in retail really helped me. It was really hard the first few months but it’s basically social practice with every interaction, so you catch on quickly.
I used to be very shy. A couple of months ago I said life is awesome and just started naturally talking to people. Literally with anyone. When I didn't know what to say, basically the first thing that came to my mind I said it. I was talking one time with a stranger about the weather and then when the silence came, I literally started talking about the school systems out of nowhere. At first it was VERY awkward, I was like an alien, I didn't know anything but right now I'm very different than a couple of months ago. I started loving and having respect for myself. Then everything else started coming to me positively. I'm still improving but I'm not really shy anymore.
@@lovepuppy4627 that's probably because of anxiety. When you are under a lot of stress, cortisol floods your system and your mind goes blank. That happened to me a few times too about I usually just start talking about some random thing. Or I just comment on the nature, surroundings until I think of something. Usuallysomenerdybiologyfact but it doesn't matter
Next time you find yourself with a stranger you really wanna talk to and you're unsure what to say next after pleasantries. I mean that moment when you're blank...the awkward silence. Just tell that stranger you are having a social experiment and they are the subject of this experiment, this will probably crack them up or make them mad, if they get mad, apologise and walk away but that won't happen. If they are finding your experiment talk interesting and fun, proceed to telling them how you're always puzzled about what to say to strangers and ask them if they are like you. A stranger who is not like you would have a lot to say here, stretching the conversation here would be or should be easy. If the stranger is like you, he/she would likely respond with a short answer saying just "yes" or "no", proceed to asking them "why they feel they are like that". They'll probably be blank here. You could then take your time to educate them, telling them about what you learned in this video, of course you don't wanna tell them you watched a video, I wouldn't but you could try that...its an experiment anyway 😉 Things should go smoothly from here. Try this conversation with the next subject of your experiment and the one after, overtime you'll get better. -You should know I'm an introvert and I also suck at conversations otherwise I wouldn't be here, so I'm gonna take my own advice and try this too 😅
I honestly just hate awkward silence. I want to talk continuously but then they say that I’m too talkative. I barely talk and I get labeled the quiet kid.
I used to be super sociable as a child but over time I got put down and pushed away so I felt bad about it and ended up being very introverted and socially scared.
That's ok you probably have a degree of social anxiety. There will be ways you can work around it, self confidence that you are worth being spoken to is a great start.
It's alright bro, you'll need to develop more of your social interactions aswell as your self confidence. I have that same issue when I was a kid. Like every time my mom tried to say "order a drink" my reaction was like 😳 and I always pointed to my other siblings to do it for me 😂. Lol funny times.
Never take you anxiety seriously its irrelevant. Don't apply your identity and ego to your interactions and don't take people's reactions personally my son
Every conversation I have feels like an FBI investigation where I just ask a bunch of questions and get one worded responses and then the conversation dies after a couple seconds.
I used to have the same problem, but now I just pick at their brain and start making them talk about their thoughts. Then I start making them talk about themselves until I feel like I got enough information about them to comfortably walk away. The best part is I do all that without ever saying very much. One thing I like to do is throw questions at them that they can't just say "yes" or "no" to, this keeps them talking long enough for you to come up with a follow up question. Sometimes they talk so much I just look blankly into the void, go into my own little world, and every now and then say something to keep them talking. The key is to never stop listening otherwise they'll know that you're not listening and won't want to talk to you anymore. You don't necessarily have to pay attention to what they're saying, just listen, hear the words they're saying and respond accordingly. Doesn't work all the time but when it does you won't be the one doing all the talking anymore. Hope this helps.
@@soulassassin0g can you give examples on how you make them actaully start talking about themselves? Because I always get short answers and I don't want to always be the leader of conversations, the one that asks and talks the most
The part when he said "go out and talk to people and you'll learn what's not appropriate" stuck a chord with me. I've spent years saying inappropriate things and watching people excuse themselves from a conversation with me. It's a horrible feeling to see people backing away because I just wanted to be relatable.
okay but you definitely must've said something REALLY wrong because i'm also quite "innapropriate" but i don't make people find excuses to stop talking to me 😭
One of the things that I learned from a book who I read in the past about how to talk better with other people was the golden rule of conversations : Stimulate the people talking about themselves, cause there isn't nothing more interesting to them than themselves.
Someone has to be talking. If you are speaking to an extrovert with lots of topics, this works great. If both of you are trying this, then it leads to an awkward silence no one can fully break. Sadly, speaking from experience
I struggle to transition from small talk to deeper conversations, and im always scared of saying something stupid or weird. But i’ve been learning slowly but surely that it doesnt matter if i mess up, life goes on, and people who are worth keeping in ur life wont care about if u say something dumb or weird
thanks improvement pill, i now get to know why i am like this, such a socially awkward person because in my teen i don't have much friends in school and always gets trolled after saying something, so i started talking less in school as i starting to develop the fear of getting judge and trolled, at coaching i talks a lot but again people there always talk trash and just troll each other and laugh thinking it funny, so i didn't learn much there as well, at home my parents never let me go out and talk with any stranger as well and because of this fear that i started to have since my 3rd or 4th class and became deeper in my 10th class, i started to prefer being with myself rather than being with those asshole people, got toxic friends since childhood so if i ever try to make a new friend they just didn't let me do it as well and i was such a fool to let them do it as well, and that's how my social skills became worst by time, my 11th and 12th was in lockdown period so i was so comfortable at home as no school,no more need to see those people's face again, just gave exams and straight back to home, got literally no friends in class as well, but now when i worked upon my confidence, i will definitely try to interact with people as i need to learn how to talk as soon i need to get into corporate world, so yup thanks, i think i wrote too much haha, if you read till here, thnks buddy, have a nice day :) (even i learned to communicate and express myself in comment sections better through observing other comments, how they just vent out without fear of getting judged, so thanks to it i got unfiltered in comment section communication, haha)
“For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.” - Aristotle. Yes, it's paradoxal, but it is how it is. The example he gave in the video, asking a stranger for directions, is a great start!
I found that talking to people you'll never meet again helps a bunch. Stuff like Omegle is great for it. If you say something you're embarrassed about, you can just click to leave it and try again .
@@RealVikas03 you could learn to fly plane, steer a ship, motorboat, drive a car, ride bicycle, humans are amazingly adaptive and we learn by trial and error so will need many attempts and practice (learn by doing them), just gotta be safe tho
Wade Walker right! Totally agree, sometimes I’m nervous cuz sure I can start a conversation and try my best to not be awkward but no matter what it’s a two way effort.
it's not difficult to share your hobbies and interests with someone nor ask and learn about theirs. You never know what you could learn from basic conversations 💭💬🗯
I grew up in abusive household, didn't get to go out and socialize much. All those years was hell for me. I become too self-concious, had low self-esteem and severely depressed. At school, i wanted to start talking but didn't, because i felt i had no experience and i would just sound dumb. Few years later, i went to college and met inspiring people that helped me become better. Don't ever let people's negativity bury you, Don't ever be afraid of becoming better.✌️🦋
@@Dreamer-rg4eb Until you can socialize and create relationships, work on yourself the best you can. I know it sucks being alone, but look forward to when you will be able to make new friends.
That's exactly how everything went for me minus the inspiring people part and onwards. Family was verbally abusive 99,9% of the time which of course led to similar consequences as you mentioned except i'm not sure about depression. I just can't tell if i'm overexaggerating or acctually depressed. I didn't go out much because i was scared of socializing and then it evolved into being imprisoned by myself. No, mother didn't cared much where i was going, nobody did. When they did asked me this terrifying question, it's only because i don't go out much. I was scared of being questioned and judged. And when i did come out, low self-esteem issues would kick in and make me feel miserable. "Why is everyone better than me in litterally everything? How's that even possible?" Now when people say something i just shut down cause i just completly don't know what to say.
I grew up being introvert and timid so socializing to people is what I'm really scared of. I just feel like once I stutter or make mistake, they'll judge me. But then, recently I started to change my mindset and slowly practicing how to communicate without sounding awkward. It was hard but sure will get used to it if you're consistent. I'm glad I watched this video and learned a lot on how to be better at talking. So to anyone who's like me, always remember that everything takes time, so keep practicing and never give up!
Why confine your characteristics within the borders of someone else's description? Humans are a lot more complex than that. Exhibiting both introversion and extroversion is natural for the complexity of everyday life. You're limiting yourself as soon as you label yourself as an introvert or extrovert. Essentially, it's a trap. You're expected to live up to those stereotypes
the problem w me is that i stutter alot, that i might even accidentally bite my tongue. i also forget what to say easily so i overthink what i can respond
This is very true. I used to have terrible anxiety, and didn't help I was autistic. Really it comes with practice. I work customer service now doing pest control so talking to several customers each day. Each time someone wants to talk with me I listen, especially if they are telling a story. You learn so many great things. Even just chatting with people on the street. You begin to realize maybe most people are not as hostile as you once thought and it gets easier.
There's something so sad about these kinds of videos. As an introvert, I don't normally talk to people but as moments progress, we really meet some amazing people we want to have a conversation with and it really sucks when we don't know how to maintain them. I'm afraid I'll lose them someday because of how inexperienced I am of this. It's never easy but still, we'll get through these introverts :)
Even when you act more extroverted, people will come and go, nothing lasts forever, but does matter is what ever impression you can make of them, even if you don't see them forever, you can at least have them remember you.
@@angelus_solus I guess you can just join some discord server. I am sure there is at least one server centered around your interests. If not... you're screwed..
I am amazing at texting and I often know how a conversation should go. I think it is more of my appearance and how I look when I talk that makes it hard the most.
My actual handicap is my lack of interest into a communication with others. I literally can't even think of a topic to talk about and find myself too often to be way too different anyways. But in the rare case I have a similar interest like the other person, I actually find myself capable of prolonged small talk. (But heck, that's rare.)
Remember this noumonic (mate)to start a conversation, and keep it going. Intro observe the weather, and say Nice Sunny day, or its very cold today. Then talk about M usic A ctivities T heater E ntertainment. Have ago with the above, what have you got to loose
Kevin By that you mean having more knowledge about life and things in life is helpful for talking about different things in a conversation? That’s a reason why I probably have silences in convos because when ppl talk about certain things I have nothing to speak on it because I don’t know anything about it or experienced it.
Me: **is curious & wants to touch something** My mom: Don’t touch that Me: **wants to speak my mind** My mom: Don’t say that Me: **wants to talk to people** My mom: Don’t trust anyone Me: Mom, I think I have social anxiety My mom: Bullsh*t. I didn’t raise you like that. Now get out there.
Marie G I would be this type of mom , except my child is allowed to speak their mind and say what they want and it’s okay but my child ain’t allowed to touch things
Only a loser blames their mom, she might have done all those things but you could have always rebelled and got in that white van with the dude who offered you candy... You're responsible now that you're an adult, so correct her mistakes.
Wow , trust part hit me hard cuz I learned it in a hard way ..... not from my mom but from ppl themselves.... and that's why I don't feel like talking with anyone ....
I was way more shy before, but after I stopped worrying about making them talk I kind of just started to talk, and people really appreciate when you are the guy talking. Because it’s better for one guy to talk than for no one to talk. What you also can do is have small pauses to make them talk if they want. Talk, talk about what you do, and one more thing. Why, how and what, these are things you can ask yourself and other people to keep the conversation going😊
Something that really helped me improve my social skills is getting a job, especially one that works with the customers. Things like talking to customers and taking orders or working the register has forced me to talk to strangers. I learned a lot from my more experienced co-workers by just watching them and understanding what to say. At first I was really nervous, especially since it was my first job, but I credit all my social skills now to that.
@Dreamscape Bussing tables worked well for me. You're forced to talk to people, but it isn't constant. I went from struggling to even look at someone while talking and hating to say things to finally being able to start conversations with some help from very kind coworkers!
Same!! My first job was door to door pitching. It was horrible, completely out of my comfort zone, and the hardest thing I did socially. After that, normal conversation was a piece of cake lol. Front counter work at fast food also helped
I don’t know why but before liking this comment, I checked around me to be sure nobody was watching me. It seems that the word « secret » has a strong impact on me 😂
This is so true. I'm very socially awkward, but in high school I decided to set myself a goal of doing things out of my comfort zone and even though I'm still not a social skills specialist, but the more people I tried to randomly talk to and even invite for awkward meetings the better I got at interacting with others. Practise is the best exercise.
i always struggled to talk to strangers and it developed into a fear. i then forced myself into getting a job where i was a cashier, that way i would have to talk to strangers. when i first stared, i remember always stuttering or practically whispering. even planning what i was going to say. and today i actually noticed how i wasn't even nervous anymore, and when someone would ask me questions that i wasn't expecting, i was able to answer confidently and not panic like i used to. it really is just about practicing
you guys take it easy on yourselves everything will turn out alright. learn and be patient you will grow to be successful with time and build meaningful relationships
Just remember, people are social creatures and any social interaction, no matter how awkward it seems is still appreciated. So talk and don't worry too much about bothering people! Dont be arrogant either, you need them too
For those who came out of quarantine thinking something was wrong with them for not knowing how to communicate, you’re not alone! Nothing is wrong with you, it’s just what happens when the most social interaction you had for a year was over text/zoom and talking to your family. If you want to improve your social skills, definitely take some time to talk to people and pick up on all of the little cues people leave (like posture, tone, eye contact, etc.). I wish you all the best of luck!
Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what I feel like It’s not just that tho. I had just moved away from my childhood friends and home and it was hard and then after barely settling in to my new place, Covid started and I couldn’t see the people I met… and then I moved again, and then swapped schools after that… so I went to 3 different middle schools each school year. I’m finally settled in but I just don’t get how to talk to people anymore
I love talking to people. You get to see life through a different lens if you genuinely enjoy learning from others. I used to SUCK holding a conversation through phone call but like the video suggests, practice
This is so true. I've stopped using social media for about 3 days and I can feel a huge change in my social life and mental health. Life is so much more easier when your mind isn't everywhere at the same time taking in so much information. I feel so much in touch with my surroundings. I would recommend everyone to limit your time with technology and allow you mind to detox.
I can't tell you how much this helped me. I have autism and sometimes I feel like I can't socialize and it really hurts to sit on the sides in friend groups, but after this I feel much better with socializing. :)
I work with a woman with autism and I make it a point to always try to talk to her. She says what you say, and although I don't have autism, I feel the same way. :)
the problem is.. im wayyyy too closed up- I dont know what to say to people unless im with my closest friends. I dont like talking about myself to any other people
I'm very socially underdeveloped. I was born with bad eyesight and it's extremely difficult to "observe" the social goingons from a visual standpoint. I'm incredibly shy, and have learned the art of "becoming invisible." I have lots to do to catch up to my peers in that aspect, but I always thought it was interesting how my eyesight, albeit mixed with my introverted personality, makes it so hard to be social. I just learned the other day, that people smile at each other when they pass by each other, at least where I am. No one ever told me for almost 17 years that that's what you do, because people usually just figure it out. Sad, but absolutely fascinating to me.
I am lost some of my eyesight after 11th that is after quarentine...and then on my social skills were damaged from a hero point to a zero...now also im suffering
I'm autistic, so it's a little bit funny to me to hear "you're not born socially handicapped", lol, sure. That being said, the thing about practice is absolutely true. People usually think I'm a little weird, but that doesn't change that I have several friends in my irl school and I'm fairly decent at talking to strangers Some other tips that have helped me - Media can be a huge help in observing social interactions. Books, films, shows, casual UA-cam videos, are all great for watching social interaction. For me, the game changer was, ironically, social media - I could reference things other people talked about and see how people joked with each other. - People like to talk about themselves, so always make sure the other person has a chance to ask and offer input - Don't talk about negative things unless you're specifically venting to a friend or loved one - it can be really off-putting to get the life story of a stranger - Generally speaking, people are more forgiving than you think. Don't stress too much about being awkward, and laugh about the stuff that is. The other person is often nervous too - make them know it's okay, and don't judge people by your perceptions of them
I thinks its the same from the past people who doesnt know how to talk with other people probably are always reading books,studying, music but it was better back then unlike right now
I'm feeling it the other way around. Texting feels so difficult. You have to understand how to come off as confident, funny, what's odd to say or what emoji fits to each situation. There are real subtleties that younger people might feel more fluent with.
@@hkg207 emojis actually can convey what text itself can't and that's tone. You can never really read something the same way the person who typed it does. This is coming from someone who has difficulty in both speaking in person and texting while preventing misunderstanding.
I agree ! I absolutely prefer real life social interactions rather than texting. I am extremely awkward and weird while texting. On the other hand, I LOVE socialising and feel absolutely energetic when holding conversations with people
Really loved this video! It opened my eyes to a few important things about social skills. First, it’s wild to think how much we miss when we just text instead of talking face-to-face. Like, all the body language and tone-you can’t pick that up through a screen! Second, I had no idea that just practicing with simple hellos could boost my skills so much. It’s like riding a bike-awkward at first, but you get better the more you try. Lastly, I’m totally inspired to start my own interaction challenge. It feels so doable! Thanks for the tips!
I thought i was socially handicapped until i got my first job a few days ago. The new environment forces me to interact with other people and I think I'm getting the hang of it
Get out of your head and stop thinking about how you think you sound to others. Just be yourself, ask some questions, engage in a genuine way and actively listen to the other person to find ways to make the conversation flow. Simple
Be myself? You mean the asocial introvert who has little idea how to communicate or interact with people because they've been mostly stuck at home for over twelve years with no real social contact other than their family and comes off sounding like an android with a malfunctioning speech processor? Yeah, that's really gannin to help. Sorry but it is NOT "simple" to reintegrate yourself with society.
@@angelus_solus Just because you perceive things that way doesn't mean it's the same for everyone else. Rather than you taking or leaving the advice, you're actively rejecting and dismissing the fact that it CAN be possible to reintegrate into society. I'm an ambivert, which is an extrovert AND introvert. Plus, I'm an empath. Being an empath alone makes it even harder for me to want to mingle with society, but I realize that having the right people in your corner is necessary and beneficial in the long run, especially if you end up needing some help one day. Just a thought. Open your mind.
@Kyashi San I would love to see some peer reviewed research data to back that up you opinionated gobby bastard, because everything I've studied about narcissists points to them being very charismatic, bold and assertive; which is VERY much the opposite of what you described. You can't manipulate people if you're "so nervous of what others think of [you]". So, have any links to some studies that prop up your claim?
I can't believe I came back to see what replies people have given. I won't be making that mistake again. Half of you are a bunch of pretentious, self assuming asshats who need to quit looking down your noses at people and come down off of the gilded pedestal you put yourself on. Life will give you the humbling you so desperately deserve, that I can guarantee. Too bad I won't be there to see it. I think it would be worth buying a ticket and popcorn just to stand back and laugh.
LG Acv Introverts usually don’t even want to interact with other people.. so why tf would you watch it if you are an introvert? I am pretty sure you meant social anxiety and not introvert.
@@user-dc4yr2ev5h I believe your comment was absolutely useless, if it wasn't worse... the last sentence is the only one with value, are you really criticizing a joke?
nssjd kttk Uhm? Since they realized that it is a thing? Introverts (like the ones that are very introvert) needs to be alone, they can’t/don’t want to handle people for a long time, they try to be alone as much as possible because they don’t wanna talk to anyone, it drains them of too much energy. Being shy is different you want to be social but you can’t.
It’s hard for me to talk to people, I fear being judged on the basis of what I say so I just stay quiet and now I’m officially a quiet introverted kid. Whenever I meet new set of people my anxiety shoots in and my mind goes blank.
It’s okay you’re not alone in this. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being introverted or shy. I know how hard it is to break out of the shell and start practicing conversation skills, but I believe you can do it. Anyone can with practice.
I always wished I could be one of those people who can make a total stranger feel comfortable talking to me
Yea but strangers r assholes all thy care about is if u have money smh
• I love Nothing but Peace ok boomer
One of the most common ways to interact with a stranger but not keep it akward is if you're asking for help with that person. This way the stranger knows you and they know you trusted them enought to ask for help which makes them likely in order to speak to you or maybe break the ice between you too. At the very least, this would make tensions between you two nonexistent and interactions a lot more smooth. The only way you'll ever see whether or not I am right is to simply do it yourself. In the end, it's only your decision and yours only.
@@stashfulton this actually sounds like a very interesting approach, I'll be sure to try it
@@jadak7714 he's not even talkin to you dude lol.
Everyone coming out of quarantine watching this to re-learn being a human
WolvePlex lmaooo
Coming out of? Washington is still in it! This whole mess won't likely be over well into next year.
Angelus_Solus true true. I live in New York so things are starting to open up for me
@@maheendhanani4044 Ugh! You jammy bugger. Lol.
Omg yes!!!
My biggest problem isn’t that I’m shy to talk to people, I just don’t know what to say.
Same here. 😭
EXACTLY, like what do you ACTUALLY talk about??? People around me make it seem seemless but i just don’t know how and what to say?
and thats what you need to PRACTICE.
heyitsnikhil i want to practice speaking to people but in dont know what to talk about
I had this EXACT same problem a couple of years ago. I practiced by talking to people about anything. Hobbies, my plans for the day, my feelings, routines, etc. Hell, you could even go abstract and say whatever comes to your mind first. There's no wrong way to talk to people, you just have to get consistent on the flow. Making sure the conversation flows properly was my biggest flaw, but I practiced, and now I can walk up to practically anyone and just talk. It's not much, but I hope this helps.
Shoutout to that baby who can learn through social observation
Lmfao
I feel like a robot learning to be a human
thats what i always say
😂
I generally say that I feel like an alien stranded on Earth and by now I kinda get how humans behave but I can't quite pass as one.
🤣
I love your profile pic 😂 makes your comment even funnier
1970: We will have flying cars by 2020.
2020: How to talk to a person tutorial.
💀💀💀
Don’t dead me🤣😭
🤣🤣🤣
XD
Marcelo Velarde oooh 😬
Pro tip that helped me break out of my shell: people are always in their thoughts. they're always thinking more about themselves than you are. Nobody is judging you as much as you think they are and if they are in the rare sitution, judgement is quite literally a reflection of how someone feels about themselves. Basic Psychology !
I don't know what to say tho 😓
this is actually true
@@clementsiow176 you know, you just think too much. People have been having conversations with other people for thousands of years and you're not different.... When you're talking to someone just focus on the person and really listen to them. You can do it!
That’s true.
Needed this
For me, the hard part was silences; I was always afraid they would make me or the other person feel awkward. It really helped when I learned that awkwardness is a normal part of life and relationships, and not a problem at all.
When you embrace the fact that sometimes there will be silences and awkwardness and that it is okay, talking to anyone becomes 200% easier
You've summed it up pretty well :)
I've been saying since primary school - What I look for in a friend is the (both-sided) *ability to be comfortable in silence*.
And honestly, sometimes that's just up to the chemistry I might or might not feel with another person. It's all "RNG" haha... Here's 1 example: I have a group of guy-friends and we've been through it all, our mothers brought us to the same parks for the first years of our lives, we joined the same kindergarden, then were the same class in the primary school, then separated a little in highschool, and studied the same profession in our separate colleges, and now work at totally different places. You'd think we were great together but honestly, I hardly ever feel comfortable when we just co-exist in our mutual silences. And I don't want to be arrogant but it's the lack of reciprocity towards my energy, most times hah. I think I used to be the "black sheep" of the group. But anyhow, to continue the thought - We know each other our entire lives, you could even say we're "best friends"... But that awkward silence is never going away. We're friends because each and every one of us TRIES and works towards that friendship, but I've had first-time meetups and conversations that had the amount of chemistry of my entire friendgroup, and then squared.
Soo, yeah, RNG.
Or hard work.
Or both, or neither.
It's all up to the individual.
@@sc3961 xd
For those who feel self conscious about not knowing how to talk to people and watching a video on how to do it, there’s nothing to feel ashamed of. Communication is a skill and can be learned and mastered over time. Let’s all become great communicators. I’m taking this journey with too.
That's the right attitude
🥺❤
Agreed man!
As a Mass Communication student myself, I agree 100%
WE CAN DO ITTT 😌
My biggest problem is that I have a fear of just having an awkward conversation. It just bugs me.
SAAAAAMMMMEEE
I used to have that fear too, I kind of still do but I've been working on it. What's my advice? Simple don't care, it's not the end of the world
Same. I get awkward and cant figure out what to say, and then i end up saying something more awkward.-_-
Something that helps me bc I also feel like this is if you remember that even if you're going to have an awkward interaction with a stranger, you'll probably never see them again and they'll have forgotten you in a week.
I only have those. I just want to know how to connect with people
I can talk to people but I always feel like I'm bothering them when I'm talking to them ;-; so I don't
It sounds like you have low self esteem, find the source of that and try to sort it out, it can surely effect your social life as well
It's not your fault if you bother them. It is their fault if they feel bothered. Just say anything without much thinking
A lot of times we overthink things and picture interactions going in the worst direction possible. In reality most people enjoy getting some attention especially when its from someone who is honestly interested in listening :) dont give up on your goals to be more open
M
O
O
D
🙃
Same, it's been proven that's the case too. Sometimes, even though it's rare, by the same people telling me it's not the case
If there was one mistake I made in life and now regret, it was that I didn't spend the rest of my childhood going out and spending time with friends and learning, observing, and building social skills to be able to talk to people. Like everyone in the comments section, I was also socially awkward and introverted, and my dumass old self said that I didn't need to interact with people because it was a waste of time and energy to even try.
That mindset led me to what I am currently feeling: loneliness, pathetic, and a lack of self-confidence and communication. Every time I try to talk, I either talk too fast or say something that people won't know because I keep on mumbling or stuttering. And the replies I get are "Sorry, I don't understand?" or "Can you speak slowly?" or "Can you repeat that one more time?" IT'S SO DAMN FRUSTRATING AND I HATE IT, NOT ON THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTING LIKE THIS, BUT IM MAD AT MYSELF FOR WHY I BECAME LIKE THIS. And even after multiple attempts to improve this problem, I still manage to fumble and repeat this cycle again and again.
Now all I ever wanted right now is people or at least someone who I could talk to normally and to make sure I kept them accompanied and made them feel comfortable around me, not being an anti-social and awkward person who was dying on the inside and always blaming themself. Right now, I'm still finding ways to be a better social person, and I will promise to become a better person for myself and for those, I dearly want to spend my time with.
(I speaking this to the commenters below, because I know you all can relate to this and it's ok, we all can have our time to overcome it if you are experiencing the same problem. Feel free to comment.)
It's been 4months what's your progress btw?
Hey listen to me. It’s completely fine what you’re going through. First make a rule to yourself, to speak slowly always. And practice speaking slowly with yourself. And remember, it is not your job to entertain somebody or make somebody feel comfortable. Just be your authentic self, and if somebody likes you after that, great if not then don’t care. Remember, you’re not here to impress or please anybody other than your own self.
Sing often. That will help your speech flow smoothly. I’m talking about sing your heart out. At home of course. Being nervous is normal we all go through it. Get used to getting your heart rate up by going for jogs, ride rollercoasters, whatever will get your blood pumping. I hope you overcome your challenges friend
I recommend watching "I want to eat your pancreas" anime movie! (I know it is a super weird name if u hv not heard it before 😂)....it can be confidence booster!! All the best ~~
I got you bro same problem! And now the hate is increased insanely
my problems are
a) I never know what to say
and
b) I worry a lot about making people uncomfortable when I want to engage a conversation with a stranger
u wanna learn to bike ride, but you fear the fall
(btw my english is better hearing than writing)
U just need self confidence cuz u Are Talking comments like u habe great skillss
a) just talk about the things you like, BUT if you like sports and you find yourself at an anime convention, best bet is sports isn't your talking point. It's all about common sense. Someone says/looks tired, probably not the best time to talk complicated and engaging topics, etc etc
@@elwing07 what should do when you don't know what your interest is
@@01vartikawho do whatever is fun - fun ideas, fun thoughts 😄
i was a shy and timid girl, i'm so scared to talk to my friend or classmate. so my first step on practicing to communicate and open up is by greeting the cleaners in my school. i mean they are the one that keep our school clean, so i at least need to appreciate and greet them, right? just a simple "morning!" and smile then walk away, but that small step that i took really help me feel comfortable to speak today
I’m saving this comment
U know, this reminds me of the time I just started conversing with the school security guard outside my school bc I just felt I was suffocating while sitting alone inside where I didn’t know anyone. Ig it only helps yourself whenever u throw yourself into a situation where u need to be social, that’s how u get practice.
@@manahil8993 i can't relate. Talking to teachers are one of my biggest fears. I become so awkward and start to sweat
Wanna know the best part? You most likely made them happy too cuz janitors/cleaners rarely get greeted by students
That's all of my social interact, nothing else.
My problem isn't that I can't talk confidently, my problem is I stay silent when I'm in school or out of home. I only talk to people of my interest.
Yas.
Same help
yhh
Yeah i feel you
I faced this similar issue as well. I really wanna get out this bad habit, and branch myself into more topics, not only the people that is of my interest. Matey, don’t be discouraged, I’m on my way to overcome this problem and I encourage you to start your journey !!
I completed the 100 interactions challenge in 13 days. Feels amazing, though most of them were people I knew, number of interactions grew slowly as I progressed. On my way to be more confident 💪
Do you have any tips of what NOT to say?
@@missmashaminothing creepy
@@missmashamiwatch the tone on how you say things to get the message across so people understand if youre joking or being serious
People blocked me on messenger. I don't recommend it
@@leunam1leunam172texts don’t Count
that moment when your life becomes so sad that you have to look up ‘how to talk to people’
Yeah......
that moment when youtube knows on its own that you cant speak with people so it keeps recommending you various how to talk to people videos, without you ever searching for it
The sad moment when this pops up on your recommended
And it has over 1 million views
@@uao2356 same with me
- Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People ?
- Talk To People.
- Thanks Improvement Pill.
well it can sound stupid but it really is the best long term solution
Yea my social anxiety say's nah😅
@@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 maybe you should see a therapist.
I have been trying this challenge for a lonngg time... I still cant transition into deeper conversations. Maybe I'm just an introvert who hates being an introvert cause society hates us
@@POPDATA Yea, if you actually don't want a deeper conversation it probably won't end well trying to force it.
What I've learned is that everyone is just waiting for the other person to start the conversation, which often leads to an awkward silence due to both sides waiting for the opposing person to begin engaging the topic. Talking first, or starting with an introduction or a handshake isn't really awkward. You may think that people may see you as odd or a show-off, but that is purely or mostly in your own thoughts. In contrast, in my personal experience, when someone starts the conversation first, I feel relieved more than I feel annoyed at them.
I am in accord with U 100%
Man I hate handshakes so much cause everyone has their own kind of handshake and I never know which one to go with
honestly this is quite true recently i literally went up to a random girl in school and asked her if she wanted some nuts which i was munching on to share, i realise how sus that was now but after a awkward laugh and silence we sat together and talked for a while. Yet after that kind of interaction im still often unable to go up to new ppl or have convos its strange guess the more i do it the easier and natural it becomes
Yeah. And sometimes awkward pauses happen, but it's typically because the other person is thinking of what to say. Sometimes you need to let them pick back up the conversation instead of both of you accidentally starting to talk at the same time and then going "Oh sorry no you can go first" and then that back and forth. Give the other person time, but don't let the conversation drop because you were just waiting on them.
@@PracsoGamings same, i hate the weird "dab me up" handshake, it's so awkward when i dont know how to do it.
The main point is to reduce online interactions and try to go and interact with people in real life to have all the factors playing like " sign language, etc. " so If we want to improve our social and communication skills we just have to try to talk to different people even by saying hi
• This is what I have understood from the video and for anyone reading my comment I hope you have a great day
Even online I can't talk to people using my vc on game or others things I can only talk alot to my 3 real friends since they listen to me and I speak alot of my day to them but to other people I'm just quest as heck i don't have confidence or what start to talk to.
The secret to get better at anything: practice.
Yup practice makes perfect
Indeed!
Parctice 40 hours a day
@@Jack-cr4sy lmao
Jack I cri
Me offline :- introvert
online :- super extrovert
That's really me😊
Me who's introverted online and offline
that's called being an ambivert, and i can't wrap my head around how it's possible
Online I'm a poet, offline I'm an autistic cat
Me until I started going in VR
bruh my mind just fucking goes blank when talking to someone
Ahhh true and I started to hate talking to anyone cuz of that…
SAME if im trying to talk to someone my mind instantly clears then im like damn now idk what to say and its just silence and i can never make friends bc of it ;-;
Same here. I can't think of anything to say like HOW DO PEOPLE JUST KNOW WHAT TO SAY 😢
@@Melont06 Same that's why I don't have any friends because I don't even know how to socialize and I can't even think of anything 😅😅😅
Next time you find yourself with a stranger you really wanna talk to and you're unsure what to say next after pleasantries. I mean that moment when you're blank...the awkward silence.
Just tell that stranger you are having a social experiment and they are the subject of this experiment, this will probably crack them up or make them mad, if they get mad, apologise and walk away but that won't happen. If they are finding your experiment talk interesting and fun, proceed to telling them how you're always puzzled about what to say to strangers and ask them if they are like you. A stranger who is not like you would have a lot to say here, stretching the conversation here would be or should be easy. If the stranger is like you, he/she would likely respond with a short answer saying just "yes" or "no", proceed to asking them "why they feel they are like that". They'll probably be blank here. You could then take your time to educate them, telling them about what you learned in this video, of course you don't wanna tell them you watched a video, I wouldn't but you could try that...its an experiment anyway 😉 Things should go smoothly from here.
Try this conversation with the next subject of your experiment and the one after, overtime you'll get better.
-You should know I'm an introvert and I also suck at conversations otherwise I wouldn't be here, so I'm gonna take my own advice and try this too 😅
Talking feels embarrassing. I’m so nervous about tripping over my words, or saying the wrong things. It feels like a weight is on my shoulder everytime I try to write or talk. I’m breaking out of this mindset and doing better to keep communication steady, flowing, and beautiful like I had when I was a child!
I think that is because of some trauma. Embarrassment for talking is not okay. Embarrassment isnt really the most natural response. It really limits growth. Im trying to get out of it too. Just remember you are doing alright
One thing that helps me is to realize that everyone is just a person. No matter if it’s your crush or just another person, they aren’t actively evaluating you and determining whether you are worth being around. They’re just talking to you. You’re also just a person to them and they’re not gonna think your stupid for approaching them, especially if you are already friends.
thank u 😊
Can I please get some advice. So I have decided to start talking to people in my school but I realized that everyone is already in developed friend groups and I want to enter some friend groups but I want to do it more discreetly. I don't want to be labled the poor kid who has no friends when I enter the group (Even though I am 💀) Help. Please
@@Dreamer-rg4eb I really, really wish I had a solution to this but I have this exact problem. I am in a group of people but no one really takes me seriously so it still feels like I’m alone. And honestly idk how to join a random group of people without them seeing me as a random lonely person like you said. I’d suggest finding people who are also alone and saying hi to them, and every now and then I find people I naturally feel comfortable talking to. But otherwise I’m waiting until college where no one will know each other and that problem won’t exist in the beginning.
@@Dreamer-rg4eb People fo have groups but it's not possible that they're together all the time, so if you befriend (or fimiliarise) with even two people (of a group of say 5 people) separately, that should practically give you an entry in that group as having someone fimiliar to talk to automatically fimiliarises you with the rest. Also patience, these things take time and we can't rush them just cuz we want them
and to fimiliarise is just to start a convo since it's not like the start judging and stuff what the comment originally said
"Just go out there and start talking to more people"
*laughs in global pandemic*
ikr
Kek
I just wanted to play vr chat and I can't because I get all nervous to talk so I just mute my mic
He meant go yell to people from six feet away though a mask. So kinda like normal.
Idk im still bad talking online
I’ve learned to just stay calm. I used to get anxious when talking to people, especially random people who just walked up to me. Wether it’s a causal convo on the street, or a job interview, I always listen to understand, think about the question/statement, and then respond as if we are friends just having a convo. I also find that smiling and being open tends to help a lot as well, and that makes the other person feel comfortable enough to have a conversation.
those are awesome points! many of which I utilize as well. i just uploaded a video on how i overcame social anxiety and the fear of public speaking. if you check it out, let me know.
Agreed
I like you cause I know what you mean
if someone doesnt know how to talk and has a robot personality is that aspergers?
@@jessicaalvarez2314 probably not, it’s most likely just social awkwardness. You just need a lot of practice
I’m finally getting to the point to where I can talk to people with all most no anxiety and I all most have fun,so keep on working on it you can become social!!
“So just get out there and talk to more people,”
My social anxiety: anyways what’s plan b
Exactly what I was thinking
Relatable
Yeah
SAME
WE CAN DO IT. EMBRACE ANXIETYYYYYyyyyy-
Literally the easiest way to talk to people is to ask questions. Most people love to talk about themselves it also keeps the conversation going and it makes people think you’re actually interested in what they’re saying
But eventually it will feel like an interrogation
P Granger-Stylinson you can ask one question and then respond to what they say/ answer it yourself
@@flowwy5208 sameeee
* think *
But what if the other person doesn’t talk much or what if they talk about something you can’t relate/don’t know much about??
I'm shy, awkward, introverted and I overthink a lot. This is why I don't socialize. It's exhausting but I'll try.
*Edit: Dude, I didn't even know it'd reach this amount of likes. I thought my comment was just cringe asf. An update in my life for those who're curious; ftf classes started and I am faced with a bunch of people to interact. The first day of school was nerve-wracking. I had to sit all by myself in the corner of the room as I knew no one. However, I was not entirely alone. There was one person in front of me who also seemed to be really nervous just as I am. Hence, I tapped on their shoulder and made light conversations like, "what's your name?" "you should sit next to me, I feel kind of lonely all alone here hahaha". One way to enhance your communicating skill is to make the first move. I, myself don't like small talks but everything has got to start from scratch. My hands were literally shaking. I was thinking of how to continue the conversation. Luckily, this dude was quite talkative, hence everything went well and we became friends. I felt awesome after that. I'm still working on how to talk to a big group of people but this much is already a big improvement on my side.*
same
ur not u just think u are
@@duhulsfant2979 bruh
@@2Lowfy bruh
same
Getting a customer service job in retail really helped me. It was really hard the first few months but it’s basically social practice with every interaction, so you catch on quickly.
I used to be very shy. A couple of months ago I said life is awesome and just started naturally talking to people. Literally with anyone. When I didn't know what to say, basically the first thing that came to my mind I said it. I was talking one time with a stranger about the weather and then when the silence came, I literally started talking about the school systems out of nowhere. At first it was VERY awkward, I was like an alien, I didn't know anything but right now I'm very different than a couple of months ago. I started loving and having respect for myself. Then everything else started coming to me positively. I'm still improving but I'm not really shy anymore.
how do you think of stuff? I can't think of anything, my mind just goes blank.
@@lovepuppy4627 that's probably because of anxiety. When you are under a lot of stress, cortisol floods your system and your mind goes blank. That happened to me a few times too about I usually just start talking about some random thing. Or I just comment on the nature, surroundings until I think of something. Usuallysomenerdybiologyfact but it doesn't matter
Next time you find yourself with a stranger you really wanna talk to and you're unsure what to say next after pleasantries. I mean that moment when you're blank...the awkward silence.
Just tell that stranger you are having a social experiment and they are the subject of this experiment, this will probably crack them up or make them mad, if they get mad, apologise and walk away but that won't happen. If they are finding your experiment talk interesting and fun, proceed to telling them how you're always puzzled about what to say to strangers and ask them if they are like you. A stranger who is not like you would have a lot to say here, stretching the conversation here would be or should be easy. If the stranger is like you, he/she would likely respond with a short answer saying just "yes" or "no", proceed to asking them "why they feel they are like that". They'll probably be blank here. You could then take your time to educate them, telling them about what you learned in this video, of course you don't wanna tell them you watched a video, I wouldn't but you could try that...its an experiment anyway 😉 Things should go smoothly from here.
Try this conversation with the next subject of your experiment and the one after, overtime you'll get better.
-You should know I'm an introvert and I also suck at conversations otherwise I wouldn't be here, so I'm gonna take my own advice and try this too 😅
@@BlenderTutsWithRob That's honestly a great idea!!
@@Bprimemod I'm glad you found it useful.
I honestly just hate awkward silence. I want to talk continuously but then they say that I’m too talkative. I barely talk and I get labeled the quiet kid.
Ask lots of questions my man
Me too, I'm quiet and when I start talking they think I'm boring🥲
@@deletemaster4786 I know the feeling 🙃😭
We’re living the same life bro and i know it sucks
@@deletemaster4786 sameee
COVID has truly ruined my social life.. 😭
True dat
Yeah me too, I literally just play video games and that ruined my social life too😩
fr i cant speak without stuttering to literally anyone
ikr, i wasn’t THIS awkward a year ago
But you could make a video call to someone you wanna talk with by a some apps
Can confirm, it worked for me.
I'm still nervous to talk to people but once I get the conversation started, it essentially drives itself.
I used to be super sociable as a child but over time I got put down and pushed away so I felt bad about it and ended up being very introverted and socially scared.
Same happened to me I was pretty sociable before but now I became really introverted and now I have social anxiety too
Sometimes I miss the old me..
Same! Before people would call me annoying and now they don't even know i exist :')
@@biscuit9095 yeah🥲
Same
Same...
People who aren’t/weren’t allowed to go out and meet people as kids/teens definitely know the struggle of starting conversations 😭
Yes we are just protected tooo much that we forget how real world people works
That's totally me. 😥
exactly… i have never even went to my neighbor’s houses alone, i always have to be with my dad or my grandma
You summed up my childhood in these 3 lines. 😢
i'm never allowed to go out and meet ppl, but i find it easy to interact w others without being awkward lol💀
I don't why, but I always feel anxious everytime I talk to people.
That's ok you probably have a degree of social anxiety.
There will be ways you can work around it, self confidence that you are worth being spoken to is a great start.
I just get scared of saying the wrong thing.
It's alright bro, you'll need to develop more of your social interactions aswell as your self confidence. I have that same issue when I was a kid. Like every time my mom tried to say "order a drink" my reaction was like 😳 and I always pointed to my other siblings to do it for me 😂. Lol funny times.
Amazing Doggie lol same here 😆😫
Never take you anxiety seriously its irrelevant. Don't apply your identity and ego to your interactions and don't take people's reactions personally my son
A lot of people need to be watching this video right now. I think all the wisdom you put into this video will help them also 🙂.
Don't go out simply to talk to others but talk to people as you attend an event or do a task. This will help you not get attached to the outcome.
@@ImprovementPill Yes, of course. As long as you don't look lost while doing it. Do you plan on doing a Q & A anytime soon?
This helped with overthinking the outcome. Thank you. 🙏🏻
So true. It helps to take the pressure and anxiety off yourself to have a different goal and have talking to people as a byproduct of that
Every conversation I have feels like an FBI investigation where I just ask a bunch of questions and get one worded responses and then the conversation dies after a couple seconds.
@@ImprovementPill pretty sure it's vice versa
I wish people would ask me stuff, idk why but I love answering questions haha
Yesss mood you're a mood omg I love you
I used to have the same problem, but now I just pick at their brain and start making them talk about their thoughts. Then I start making them talk about themselves until I feel like I got enough information about them to comfortably walk away. The best part is I do all that without ever saying very much. One thing I like to do is throw questions at them that they can't just say "yes" or "no" to, this keeps them talking long enough for you to come up with a follow up question. Sometimes they talk so much I just look blankly into the void, go into my own little world, and every now and then say something to keep them talking. The key is to never stop listening otherwise they'll know that you're not listening and won't want to talk to you anymore. You don't necessarily have to pay attention to what they're saying, just listen, hear the words they're saying and respond accordingly. Doesn't work all the time but when it does you won't be the one doing all the talking anymore. Hope this helps.
@@soulassassin0g can you give examples on how you make them actaully start talking about themselves? Because I always get short answers and I don't want to always be the leader of conversations, the one that asks and talks the most
The part when he said "go out and talk to people and you'll learn what's not appropriate" stuck a chord with me. I've spent years saying inappropriate things and watching people excuse themselves from a conversation with me. It's a horrible feeling to see people backing away because I just wanted to be relatable.
I can relate to that so much and it's so hard to try again after that fail because then there's too much self doubt
As an old saying goes: Wise men learn from the mistakes of others.
okay but you definitely must've said something REALLY wrong because i'm also quite "innapropriate" but i don't make people find excuses to stop talking to me 😭
@@wreckerthegoat Maybe he was telling them that AI art is actually art.
@@wreckerthegoat bro is already in self doubt, that comment might make them feel bad but you're so right 😭😭
One of the things that I learned from a book who I read in the past about how to talk better with other people was the golden rule of conversations : Stimulate the people talking about themselves, cause there isn't nothing more interesting to them than themselves.
Rule no.1 listen twice as much as you talk. Silence is powerful. if in doubt, get people talking about themselves.
what rule #1 is depends on your personality type. For many people, rule #1 is to start talking at all.
i think if we continue keep this thinking ,we won't grow.
if you want to be Conan O'Brien that rule doesn't apply
Bro thinks he is andrew rate
Someone has to be talking. If you are speaking to an extrovert with lots of topics, this works great. If both of you are trying this, then it leads to an awkward silence no one can fully break. Sadly, speaking from experience
I struggle to transition from small talk to deeper conversations, and im always scared of saying something stupid or weird. But i’ve been learning slowly but surely that it doesnt matter if i mess up, life goes on, and people who are worth keeping in ur life wont care about if u say something dumb or weird
I struggle to pronounce a lot of words😣
Be so genuine and sincere, its refreshing, and allows the other person to open up.
And don't be too agreeable, spark some debates but stay humble.
ughh agreeableness is hard to tackle
@@amelialalllalala3914 No its not.
@@agentbuizel9875 Okay, yes-man.
thanks improvement pill, i now get to know why i am like this, such a socially awkward person because in my teen i don't have much friends in school and always gets trolled after saying something, so i started talking less in school as i starting to develop the fear of getting judge and trolled, at coaching i talks a lot but again people there always talk trash and just troll each other and laugh thinking it funny, so i didn't learn much there as well, at home my parents never let me go out and talk with any stranger as well and because of this fear that i started to have since my 3rd or 4th class and became deeper in my 10th class, i started to prefer being with myself rather than being with those asshole people, got toxic friends since childhood so if i ever try to make a new friend they just didn't let me do it as well and i was such a fool to let them do it as well, and that's how my social skills became worst by time, my 11th and 12th was in lockdown period so i was so comfortable at home as no school,no more need to see those people's face again, just gave exams and straight back to home, got literally no friends in class as well, but now when i worked upon my confidence, i will definitely try to interact with people as i need to learn how to talk as soon i need to get into corporate world, so yup thanks, i think i wrote too much haha, if you read till here, thnks buddy, have a nice day :) (even i learned to communicate and express myself in comment sections better through observing other comments, how they just vent out without fear of getting judged, so thanks to it i got unfiltered in comment section communication, haha)
The SECRET on How to talk to people better:
-Talk to people
Sounds Legit, Thank you.
“For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.” - Aristotle. Yes, it's paradoxal, but it is how it is. The example he gave in the video, asking a stranger for directions, is a great start!
I found that talking to people you'll never meet again helps a bunch. Stuff like Omegle is great for it. If you say something you're embarrassed about, you can just click to leave it and try again .
this comment deserves more upvotes
@@georgegeorgsonsonofgeorgea2940 omegle stuff gets viral if it turns out to be embarrassing or awkward one. People have kinda made it a hobby
@@RealVikas03 you could learn to fly plane, steer a ship, motorboat, drive a car, ride bicycle, humans are amazingly adaptive and we learn by trial and error so will need many attempts and practice (learn by doing them), just gotta be safe tho
Me : why no ones approaching me?
Also me :*giving unapproachable aura*
i guess jojokes are everywhere :v
EXACTLY. HAHA
*folds arms across chest and frowns for etermity"
I disagree with that like the hell how could anyone see an aura saying dont get any closer lol
Its body language honey
I find it easy talking to people but it’s crazy how many people can’t carry a basic conversation sometimes
Wade Walker right! Totally agree, sometimes I’m nervous cuz sure I can start a conversation and try my best to not be awkward but no matter what it’s a two way effort.
Improvement Pill true 👏🏾
it's not difficult to share your hobbies and interests with someone nor ask and learn about theirs. You never know what you could learn from basic conversations 💭💬🗯
Ur hard
It's fucking difficult for some of us, including me.
Ok, this comment should be my start of my communication skills improvement journey. Let's go!🎉
I grew up in abusive household, didn't get to go out and socialize much. All those years was hell for me. I become too self-concious, had low self-esteem and severely depressed. At school, i wanted to start talking but didn't, because i felt i had no experience and i would just sound dumb. Few years later, i went to college and met inspiring people that helped me become better.
Don't ever let people's negativity bury you,
Don't ever be afraid of becoming better.✌️🦋
I am in the exact same situation. My father forces me to stay home most of the time to take care of my siblings and now I can't talk to people🧍🏽♀️
@@Dreamer-rg4eb Until you can socialize and create relationships, work on yourself the best you can. I know it sucks being alone, but look forward to when you will be able to make new friends.
😃
That's exactly how everything went for me minus the inspiring people part and onwards.
Family was verbally abusive 99,9% of the time which of course led to similar consequences as you mentioned except i'm not sure about depression. I just can't tell if i'm overexaggerating or acctually depressed.
I didn't go out much because i was scared of socializing and then it evolved into being imprisoned by myself. No, mother didn't cared much where i was going, nobody did. When they did asked me this terrifying question, it's only because i don't go out much. I was scared of being questioned and judged. And when i did come out, low self-esteem issues would kick in and make me feel miserable. "Why is everyone better than me in litterally everything? How's that even possible?"
Now when people say something i just shut down cause i just completly don't know what to say.
Same with me 😓
I grew up being introvert and timid so socializing to people is what I'm really scared of. I just feel like once I stutter or make mistake, they'll judge me. But then, recently I started to change my mindset and slowly practicing how to communicate without sounding awkward. It was hard but sure will get used to it if you're consistent. I'm glad I watched this video and learned a lot on how to be better at talking. So to anyone who's like me, always remember that everything takes time, so keep practicing and never give up!
That's wonderful to hear!!! Hopefully I could also have that same mindset :,)
I'm an introvert and I Sutter too,I'm on the path to improving my social skills.Lets keep pushing
Why confine your characteristics within the borders of someone else's description? Humans are a lot more complex than that. Exhibiting both introversion and extroversion is natural for the complexity of everyday life. You're limiting yourself as soon as you label yourself as an introvert or extrovert. Essentially, it's a trap. You're expected to live up to those stereotypes
the problem w me is that i stutter alot, that i might even accidentally bite my tongue. i also forget what to say easily so i overthink what i can respond
"you aren't born socialy handycaped"
*asperger intensifies*
Exactly!
NihilisticMonkey Dancing Most people I know with Aspergers talks way and I mean WAAAYYY too much (no offense).
@@user-dc4yr2ev5h and there are the one talking way to less.
Introverts pratically screaming from inside!!!
I was about to comment this too XD like da fuq i was born this way thats why im here XD
This is very true. I used to have terrible anxiety, and didn't help I was autistic. Really it comes with practice. I work customer service now doing pest control so talking to several customers each day. Each time someone wants to talk with me I listen, especially if they are telling a story. You learn so many great things. Even just chatting with people on the street. You begin to realize maybe most people are not as hostile as you once thought and it gets easier.
There's something so sad about these kinds of videos. As an introvert, I don't normally talk to people but as moments progress, we really meet some amazing people we want to have a conversation with and it really sucks when we don't know how to maintain them. I'm afraid I'll lose them someday because of how inexperienced I am of this. It's never easy but still, we'll get through these introverts :)
relatable
Even when you act more extroverted, people will come and go, nothing lasts forever, but does matter is what ever impression you can make of them, even if you don't see them forever, you can at least have them remember you.
Amazing people?
Highly relatable
What about now?
For me texting is so hard but talking in person is a bit easier...
Goshh how could that even happen
Woah that's me
I totally agree. It is way easier to read the person IRL, and from that keep a conversation going.
I get you. It's kinda hard to read in-between lines and emotions through texts.
Opposite for me. I can’t read somebody if my life depended on it.
I'm just afraid of having a weird and boring conversation or being ignored And also to sit and silence fill the conversation
there is nothing bad about a boring conversation
Yes
Being an introvert and lone wolf is not easy. I was searching for topics and i found this very educational and fun. Thanks.
Bold of you to assume i can even text people
My texting is trash.
Bold of him to assume I have people to text! Seriously, I have no friends. I don't have a mobile phone to text with if I even HAD friends.
@@angelus_solus I guess you can just join some discord server. I am sure there is at least one server centered around your interests. If not... you're screwed..
I am amazing at texting and I often know how a conversation should go. I think it is more of my appearance and how I look when I talk that makes it hard the most.
i text like a total extrovert but irl i m fucking awkward
my problem is that I forget words because of my anxiety
it sucks.
Same
Yep, same. Social anxiety just makes everything harder when it comes to talking
same
This is my whole problem!
Same bro this is so frustrating 😫
My actual handicap is my lack of interest into a communication with others. I literally can't even think of a topic to talk about and find myself too often to be way too different anyways. But in the rare case I have a similar interest like the other person, I actually find myself capable of prolonged small talk. (But heck, that's rare.)
Remember this noumonic (mate)to start a conversation, and keep it going.
Intro observe the weather, and say Nice Sunny day, or its very cold today.
Then talk about
M usic
A ctivities
T heater
E ntertainment.
Have ago with the above, what have you got to loose
find more hobbies, do more things, watch more shows, anime whatever, there are things to talk when you know something
Kevin By that you mean having more knowledge about life and things in life is helpful for talking about different things in a conversation? That’s a reason why I probably have silences in convos because when ppl talk about certain things I have nothing to speak on it because I don’t know anything about it or experienced it.
You don't have to come up with a topic. Just ask them to talk about themselves
I used to be like that but now I just compliment something about them then whatever happens from there happens or I ask them how their day is going
I love this channel so much. Their teachings make me a better person every day. A hug from Brazil
Ngl I mainly watch these because the drawings are so cute
Time for a raise for the animator
‘You aren’t born socially handicapped’
Autism: Am I a joke to you
Aspergers here
ADHD i feel you
oUCHY THIS IS TOO REAL ;-;
Bish
Katrina Bruce lel
Me: **is curious & wants to touch something**
My mom: Don’t touch that
Me: **wants to speak my mind**
My mom: Don’t say that
Me: **wants to talk to people**
My mom: Don’t trust anyone
Me: Mom, I think I have social anxiety
My mom: Bullsh*t. I didn’t raise you like that. Now get out there.
Marie G It’S tHaT dAmN pHoNe
Marie G I would be this type of mom , except my child is allowed to speak their mind and say what they want and it’s okay but my child ain’t allowed to touch things
@@gachapotatoxd7040 except their pp ofc
Only a loser blames their mom, she might have done all those things but you could have always rebelled and got in that white van with the dude who offered you candy... You're responsible now that you're an adult, so correct her mistakes.
Wow , trust part hit me hard cuz I learned it in a hard way ..... not from my mom but from ppl themselves.... and that's why I don't feel like talking with anyone ....
I was way more shy before, but after I stopped worrying about making them talk I kind of just started to talk, and people really appreciate when you are the guy talking. Because it’s better for one guy to talk than for no one to talk. What you also can do is have small pauses to make them talk if they want. Talk, talk about what you do, and one more thing. Why, how and what, these are things you can ask yourself and other people to keep the conversation going😊
Pill: *100 Interactions Challenge*
Coronavirus: Hi
iT's cOrOnA TImE!
Ahh true
mad dan22 hey
Lmao
This comment seems soo funny now tbh😂
Hehe.. I hope you've reached 50 at least 😄
Something that really helped me improve my social skills is getting a job, especially one that works with the customers. Things like talking to customers and taking orders or working the register has forced me to talk to strangers. I learned a lot from my more experienced co-workers by just watching them and understanding what to say. At first I was really nervous, especially since it was my first job, but I credit all my social skills now to that.
What do u think is the best job if I want to develop social skills?
@Dreamscape Bussing tables worked well for me. You're forced to talk to people, but it isn't constant. I went from struggling to even look at someone while talking and hating to say things to finally being able to start conversations with some help from very kind coworkers!
Im keeping this in mind when I get a job this summer, ty
Same!! My first job was door to door pitching. It was horrible, completely out of my comfort zone, and the hardest thing I did socially. After that, normal conversation was a piece of cake lol. Front counter work at fast food also helped
this f up my social skills, i just dont care what almost anyone says anymore
Actual “secret” starts at 3:00
Thanks
I love you because this kind of videos usually don’t get to the point
Woman of culture😭
thank you soo much. ❤
I think I've watched this video 4 times now. UA-cam keeps recommending this to me, and this looks like a sign so I keep watching.
this is a *secret* comment so *secret* people can like it *secretively*
That’s a lot of alliteration Secret Saif Saad, just wanted to sneak right in here and say that
I am secretly happy for your secret comment
🤐
Yeet
I don’t know why but before liking this comment, I checked around me to be sure nobody was watching me.
It seems that the word « secret » has a strong impact on me 😂
This is so true. I'm very socially awkward, but in high school I decided to set myself a goal of doing things out of my comfort zone and even though I'm still not a social skills specialist, but the more people I tried to randomly talk to and even invite for awkward meetings the better I got at interacting with others. Practise is the best exercise.
Me : _Ho-ho so you're approaching me?_
Someone : Yes
Me : *Runs away*
Hō… mukatte kuru no ka?
oMg iS ThAt a jOjo ReFerNcE???
Hhhhh
Best comment I've read all day
Nigerundayo
too the man with 3.27m subscribers, thanks for the help. gave me perspective on how I've been viewing my personal interactions
I started a job that involves daily communication with customers and it’s helped tremendously
Working as cashier helps
Ay yeah those things really do help
"hey that's a cat
YESSS CAT
C.A.T.
meow meow
SAY IT WITH ME."
Me: i-
You-
Meoow🙈
Aldrin Inobio
Me: LSTER
Ice
I thought that was the cutest thing. I laughed so hard.
i always struggled to talk to strangers and it developed into a fear. i then forced myself into getting a job where i was a cashier, that way i would have to talk to strangers. when i first stared, i remember always stuttering or practically whispering. even planning what i was going to say. and today i actually noticed how i wasn't even nervous anymore, and when someone would ask me questions that i wasn't expecting, i was able to answer confidently and not panic like i used to. it really is just about practicing
you guys take it easy on yourselves everything will turn out alright.
learn and be patient you will grow to be successful with time and build meaningful relationships
my dad's advice is to not think, just let the thoughts flow
And wait for making a fool of yourself
Wut if the thoughts don’t flow
Exactly. My minds blank 24/7
@@yehawexzen6723 Meditation
SHOCKOLATE yes, I’ve recently been meditating bc my friend recommended it to me :D
Just remember, people are social creatures and any social interaction, no matter how awkward it seems is still appreciated. So talk and don't worry too much about bothering people!
Dont be arrogant either, you need them too
For those who came out of quarantine thinking something was wrong with them for not knowing how to communicate, you’re not alone!
Nothing is wrong with you, it’s just what happens when the most social interaction you had for a year was over text/zoom and talking to your family. If you want to improve your social skills, definitely take some time to talk to people and pick up on all of the little cues people leave (like posture, tone, eye contact, etc.).
I wish you all the best of luck!
Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what I feel like
It’s not just that tho. I had just moved away from my childhood friends and home and it was hard and then after barely settling in to my new place, Covid started and I couldn’t see the people I met… and then I moved again, and then swapped schools after that… so I went to 3 different middle schools each school year. I’m finally settled in but I just don’t get how to talk to people anymore
@@waverider6302 same! i also had to move schools during covid so i became a lot more quieter at my new school :/
Exactly feels like I lost everything after covid
Its been three years ..still im suffering
@@tae_minagustd9964 same, but I’m trying to reach out a little more now - I hope you can find change in the near future :)
I love talking to people. You get to see life through a different lens if you genuinely enjoy learning from others. I used to SUCK holding a conversation through phone call but like the video suggests, practice
This is so true. I've stopped using social media for about 3 days and I can feel a huge change in my social life and mental health. Life is so much more easier when your mind isn't everywhere at the same time taking in so much information. I feel so much in touch with my surroundings. I would recommend everyone to limit your time with technology and allow you mind to detox.
I can't tell you how much this helped me. I have autism and sometimes I feel like I can't socialize and it really hurts to sit on the sides in friend groups, but after this I feel much better with socializing. :)
I work with a woman with autism and I make it a point to always try to talk to her. She says what you say, and although I don't have autism, I feel the same way. :)
Same!
same but because of these videos i feel like i overcomed it
the problem is.. im wayyyy too closed up- I dont know what to say to people unless im with my closest friends. I dont like talking about myself to any other people
I'm very socially underdeveloped. I was born with bad eyesight and it's extremely difficult to "observe" the social goingons from a visual standpoint. I'm incredibly shy, and have learned the art of "becoming invisible." I have lots to do to catch up to my peers in that aspect, but I always thought it was interesting how my eyesight, albeit mixed with my introverted personality, makes it so hard to be social. I just learned the other day, that people smile at each other when they pass by each other, at least where I am. No one ever told me for almost 17 years that that's what you do, because people usually just figure it out. Sad, but absolutely fascinating to me.
I am lost some of my eyesight after 11th that is after quarentine...and then on my social skills were damaged from a hero point to a zero...now also im suffering
I'm autistic, so it's a little bit funny to me to hear "you're not born socially handicapped", lol, sure. That being said, the thing about practice is absolutely true. People usually think I'm a little weird, but that doesn't change that I have several friends in my irl school and I'm fairly decent at talking to strangers
Some other tips that have helped me
- Media can be a huge help in observing social interactions. Books, films, shows, casual UA-cam videos, are all great for watching social interaction. For me, the game changer was, ironically, social media - I could reference things other people talked about and see how people joked with each other.
- People like to talk about themselves, so always make sure the other person has a chance to ask and offer input
- Don't talk about negative things unless you're specifically venting to a friend or loved one - it can be really off-putting to get the life story of a stranger
- Generally speaking, people are more forgiving than you think. Don't stress too much about being awkward, and laugh about the stuff that is. The other person is often nervous too - make them know it's okay, and don't judge people by your perceptions of them
I thought that, too. Like, “yeah okay, sure.”
yeah sameee
same
Hearing that made me laugh out loud ngl
Most people aren’t autistic, like the 98% of the population so that statement holds true for the majority of people…
*this how disconnected we’ve become, that we need to learn how to do something that’s supposed to be natural to us.* 🤦🏿♂️
It’s honestly pretty sad
Yea
Fr man
Exactly
I thinks its the same from the past
people who doesnt know how to talk with other people probably are always reading books,studying, music but it was better back then unlike right now
I'm feeling it the other way around. Texting feels so difficult. You have to understand how to come off as confident, funny, what's odd to say or what emoji fits to each situation.
There are real subtleties that younger people might feel more fluent with.
@@hkg207 emojis actually can convey what text itself can't and that's tone. You can never really read something the same way the person who typed it does. This is coming from someone who has difficulty in both speaking in person and texting while preventing misunderstanding.
I agree ! I absolutely prefer real life social interactions rather than texting. I am extremely awkward and weird while texting. On the other hand, I LOVE socialising and feel absolutely energetic when holding conversations with people
completely agree- i can get a number, seldomly, but always always always ghosted- I hate texting!
don't worry, most people don't use emojis in a lot of cases
I am not fluent in communication at all
Really loved this video! It opened my eyes to a few important things about social skills. First, it’s wild to think how much we miss when we just text instead of talking face-to-face. Like, all the body language and tone-you can’t pick that up through a screen! Second, I had no idea that just practicing with simple hellos could boost my skills so much. It’s like riding a bike-awkward at first, but you get better the more you try. Lastly, I’m totally inspired to start my own interaction challenge. It feels so doable! Thanks for the tips!
I thought i was socially handicapped until i got my first job a few days ago. The new environment forces me to interact with other people and I think I'm getting the hang of it
"you were not born socially handicapped"
*me, autistic, watching this video, trying to learn social skills*
but...I was....that's why I'm here
Get out of your head and stop thinking about how you think you sound to others. Just be yourself, ask some questions, engage in a genuine way and actively listen to the other person to find ways to make the conversation flow. Simple
Be myself? You mean the asocial introvert who has little idea how to communicate or interact with people because they've been mostly stuck at home for over twelve years with no real social contact other than their family and comes off sounding like an android with a malfunctioning speech processor? Yeah, that's really gannin to help. Sorry but it is NOT "simple" to reintegrate yourself with society.
@@angelus_solus i have to deal with cliques in my classes 💀
@@angelus_solus Just because you perceive things that way doesn't mean it's the same for everyone else. Rather than you taking or leaving the advice, you're actively rejecting and dismissing the fact that it CAN be possible to reintegrate into society. I'm an ambivert, which is an extrovert AND introvert. Plus, I'm an empath. Being an empath alone makes it even harder for me to want to mingle with society, but I realize that having the right people in your corner is necessary and beneficial in the long run, especially if you end up needing some help one day. Just a thought. Open your mind.
@Kyashi San I would love to see some peer reviewed research data to back that up you opinionated gobby bastard, because everything I've studied about narcissists points to them being very charismatic, bold and assertive; which is VERY much the opposite of what you described. You can't manipulate people if you're "so nervous of what others think of [you]". So, have any links to some studies that prop up your claim?
I can't believe I came back to see what replies people have given. I won't be making that mistake again. Half of you are a bunch of pretentious, self assuming asshats who need to quit looking down your noses at people and come down off of the gilded pedestal you put yourself on. Life will give you the humbling you so desperately deserve, that I can guarantee. Too bad I won't be there to see it. I think it would be worth buying a ticket and popcorn just to stand back and laugh.
I've always felt too anxious to talk around my circle of friends. But they're extra gentle with me and am grateful for it.
Samee
You have friends? 😂😂
@updownleftright883 I got adopted xD
Me: *Crying in introvert*
LG Acv Introverts usually don’t even want to interact with other people.. so why tf would you watch it if you are an introvert? I am pretty sure you meant social anxiety and not introvert.
@@user-dc4yr2ev5h I believe your comment was absolutely useless, if it wasn't worse... the last sentence is the only one with value, are you really criticizing a joke?
@@snowcrystal1924 That is your opinion? Probably others to? I was just telling the difference between introvert and social anxiety.
Tim Hmmmm since when introverts don't want to interact with other people?
nssjd kttk Uhm? Since they realized that it is a thing? Introverts (like the ones that are very introvert) needs to be alone, they can’t/don’t want to handle people for a long time, they try to be alone as much as possible because they don’t wanna talk to anyone, it drains them of too much energy. Being shy is different you want to be social but you can’t.
One more key to social success is to have confidence.
Even if it is a little confidence, it can make a world of difference.
It’s hard for me to talk to people, I fear being judged on the basis of what I say so I just stay quiet and now I’m officially a quiet introverted kid. Whenever I meet new set of people my anxiety shoots in and my mind goes blank.
It’s okay you’re not alone in this. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being introverted or shy. I know how hard it is to break out of the shell and start practicing conversation skills, but I believe you can do it. Anyone can with practice.
how to get better at talking to people, just talk to more people! Glad I watched the whole video for that