I want to have a genuine discussion here. If you are dealing with toxic family members how do/did you cope? Did you choose you? Did you choose to work on the relationship? How complicated is it (if you are open to sharing)? I want each of us to gain a greater perspective on this topic.
For me, the toxicity (from both of my parents) was so prevalent that it effected my mindset as a young child and caused me to act out in a harmful manner towards others. Unfortunately, the escalation of that negative behavior contributed to my becoming incarcerated for a significant time. It was during that time that I was able to see and learn about toxicity and how it can emanate from people even as close to you as parents. In fact, while in the midst of learning about that I would endeavor to share with my parents what I was learning … but they were not receptive. That notwithstanding, I owed it to myself to forge on and continue to empower myself with the ability to withstand life’s challenges. Once I was released, I was able to reshape my relationship with my parents with appropriate boundaries and distance. They were the same people, from the inside out, but I was different, better, so I knew how to handle their characteristic failings. They are no longer with us, but I was able to have a healthy relationship with them for many years prior to their passing.
@@tizone8477 I love this, and I love that you said "Once I was released, I was able to reshape my relationship with my parents with appropriate boundaries and distance. They were the same people, from the inside out, but I was different, better". You acknowledged that though you have changed, they remained the same but your love was still there and you knew how to handle how they showed up. Thank you so much for your enlightened perspective. So thankful that you shared your personal journey as well.
@@tizone8477 Thank you so much!!! We really need a safe community to share and speak about things that are often silenced. It also helps us to gain better perspectives for living and growing. Thank you so much for tuning in as well ❤
I chose me because they were chosen first. Once we see the value in ourselves, we are responsible for managing our gifts and time wisely. If there isn't a honorable return of what we give then we must restrict giving to the unworthy... family or not. Healthy boundaries are necessary for growth. Great topic.
I learned that limiting interactions with toxic family members works for me. I decide how much I’m gonna participate and then dismiss myself with much love for them. I allow myself to feel all of my feelings about them.
This is exactly what I’ve learned to do as well. I have a huge heart especially for family so it took a very long time for me to get to the place of choosing me and dealing with them when I can mentally handle it and pulling back as needed. The hard part is because it took years before I learned to choose me there is a lot of damage that I needed to repair within myself and some that from my bitterness possibly impacted my children so we are all on a healing journey together now. As stated in the video you can’t heal if you continue to place yourself amongst what has broken you constantly so it’s definitely a balancing act. One thing that is extremely important to note is give it to God he sees all knows all and when you are ready to surrender it he will provide everything you need to heal and remained heal ❤to everyone that dares to be different!
@@christalt5817 🙌🏽 Good for you & your children. 👏🏽👏🏽 I’m on that journey as well. Once I surrendered and allowed God to direct my steps, my life changed. For the better. Sending you healing energy and vibes your way as you continue on your journey. ✨💛
I had to go no contact with my mother for my own mental peace. She’s manipulative and narcissistic. I will always love her but distance is best for me at the moment.
I went no contact with my family which was so hard to do because I still love them. I had to start loving myself more!! I’m choosing me now!! I want people in my life that want to be in my life. I’m choosing peace at 53 years old. Not easy but I’m learning how to love me!! I know God has my back!!
I have healed, and I have boundaries now. I limit my interaction with many and do not participate in activities with those who do not understand boundaries. Peace is my ultimate goal daily.
💜 I chose me and my child - and walked away. It's extremely difficult but I can feel my body detoxing from the emotional toxicity. I wish everyone joy, peace and self love. It's hard out here, in the woods, but I know I will be provided for.
I have detached from my whole family and I’m never coming back. It took an illness for god to show me and it really hurts. From childhood it was a battle. Dealing with physical, sexual and emotional abuse. I had no one on my side and my mother always took their side. I rebelled and was in and out of the house at 14yrs old and was kicked out 2 weeks after my 16th bday. I’ve always been the support for my family and whenever they needed me I was there. When my illness started it forced me to be talk less, listen and observe more. It showed me the people around me and there behaviours. When I was in the hospital one of my siblings came to see me and I caught her reaction. She was smiling, that was the first of many. I have come to realise I have jealous and envious sisters and that hurts because I have been so supportive. Then I discovered my mother’s behaviour’ and how she was being disruptive during and in my final stages of my degree. I have done so much for her and it’s never enough. The sexual abuse she is always trying to silence me. I always wondered why I attract narcissi’s characters but it’s cause I’m damaged 14:11 by the traumas I have experienced. I am soon to start therapy so I can heal. So much you mentioned has been the story of my life. Thank you for being here.❤️🙏🏾
I PRAY YOUR JOURNEY TO HEALING WILL BE WITH SPECIAL PEOPLE GOD PUTS IN YOUR LIFE. YOU ARE WORTHY OF GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE. THEY HATE IT WHEN WE ARE SICK, I THINK IT IS AN INCONVENIENCE TO THEM. GOD BLESS YOU.
I went no contact with a Narc sister years ago. Our mother got sick last year and I had to start communicating w/her again for our mother’s sake and health. I keep my communication direct, curt, short with her and mainly via text for proof cause she lies a lot. She has tried per usual, to try her gaslighting foolishness and I’ve legit ignored her attempts to bait me in her Narc cycle. It’s angered her of course, but I don’t care. I know her pattern better than she knows her own pattern. This holiday season has been better for me than I’ve had in years. Her Narc ways always flare up around the holidays and has affected me. This year I doubled down on boundaries and not responding to baiting.
I haven’t even finished watching. However, yes and yes and yes!!!!! I am so glad many people are choosing to walk away even when it’s HARD. It’s sometimes the best thing for you. It can be life or death! For anyone who is going through this pain, may you find comfort in knowing you are NOT alone.
Yes! I want to move the needle with this one. Such a hard subject to speak on because family situations are so diverse and complicated. One answer can't support every situation. I'm anxious to learn how people chose to deal with their situations.
@@SeasonedDialogue yes absolutely. It’s so complex. Thank you for this video because this whole thread, for those who need to be heard is so beautiful. It’s so complex. May healing ❤️🩹 be your new reality to those who are seeking for it💕💕💕
I am almost 2 years no contact with my mother and the rest of the family followed along with her. It has been 2 years of the most growth I've ever experienced. I feel that God put me in this position to sharpen my discernment...to understand that blood and familiarity shouldn't be overlooked. And along my journey I found someone who guides me with genuine intention to help make me better and gain more value. I am adding more value into my self to overcome my self esteem insecurities. To overcome a life filled with 28 years of no self belief. I want to pour into myself and be able to pour more into those who genuinely support my authentic self. I have had many rest periods that triggered reflections of past experiences and decisions that led me to where I am today. But it wasn't until recently that I have been praying more and relinquishing the anxiety from my body. I look forward to working more on myself until I reach self fulifullument destined by God.
THIS IS WONDERFUL TO HEAR🤗! I AM SEEING SO MUCH SELF-CARE AFTER SO MUCH POISON INFLICTED FROM FAMILY. I, TOO, AM TRYING TO RID MYSELF OF ANYONE WHO PROVES TO NOT REALLY CARE ABOUT ME. LOVE GOES TWO WAYS, NOT ONE WAY. WE ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, GOOD PEOPLE, AND TO LIVE A LIFE WITH OTHERS WHO ARE AIMING FOR THE ULTIMATE PRIZE- TO BE SEATED AT THE TABLE! WE ARE SO WORTHY. GOD LOVES YOU AND IS SMILING DOWN ON YOU FROM HEAVEN.
I've learned that the people pleaser in me for the sake of family has evolved. I have acknowledged that being around certain family members is detrimental to my health. I have limited my interaction and moved further away.
Ive had to go back to living with my mom because im pregnant and i thought and was told i would need my 'family' right now. Its been so hard feeling triggered and unseen everyday. Im just in isolation trying my hardest not to slip into a depression as my first baby is due any moment. i defiantly learned throughout my pregnancy that blood is not thicker then water, with the lack of support i have had from my mom and siblings. I think its time to let go of the under estimation i have of myself and being able to take care of a newborn without them and walk away. Luckily there is someone willing to take me in, in one months time.
When it comes to family issues,,,,sometimes separation in silence is the best form of FORGIVENESS,,,,at least in MY WORLD!!!!!! Thank you for your words QUEEN
Thank You Lisa Marie! I take it 1 day at a time but ultimately I left my hometown for college at 18 years old and never looked back (Im now 41, married with children) I only go back when necessary and never force myself for so called obligatory family events....If I feel it I go if not I dont. I limit social media friend request from family, my block game is strong, definitely have had some therapy to understand that setting these boundaries should not cause me feelings of regret but the understanding that I'm protecting my peace. 💫
Yes, I'm very big on boundaries and I feel implementing them are so valuable. But they can also become offensive to those who don't recognize what boundaries are needed. I truly love this for you! It's also important that we protect our children from things we've experienced as well.
I've walked away. I'm worth more. Had to do it for my peace of mind. It just wasn't working any more. I forgive and keep things moving. 🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️🧎🏽♀️📖🙌🏽
They never change they pull you in just to trample on you all over again. Im better off without them. Dont let them apologize when they get old,they had all their life to treat you better. How people treat you is a choice❤
I just talked to my step dad about how he made me feel growing up and I asked him why he did the things he did to my me and my siblings. And the reponse I got was, "Stop trying to reach for things to hold onto, so that you can create yourself an origin story! You grew up loved & cherished. And if I hit you, it was because it was a form of discipline and I actually didn't even hit you that much." And then my mom asked me, "Are you looking for an apology? Cause we're not going to apologize. Kids need a form of discipline or they'd be in jail..." blah blah blah. It's crazy, because before hand, he told me that those memories must have come from my biological father hitting me, and that he "never did those things". But then he says that he did "SOME" of those things, but I'm just bringing it up so that I can create myself a "backstory" or "origin story". Pretty much saying I'm delusional. He even said to me (since he knows I love to write), "If you wanna write a book about me and get rich off of it, fine! At least I'm being talked about!" He's very manipulative with his words, and he knows how to make you second guess yourself and he knows how to make you feel like you're wrong even when you're right. Growing up, he told me I was "always wrong", anyway. He said something too that was very like...wow. He said, "Hopefully you appreciate me when I'm gone, if you're not going to appreciate me now. Hopefully it doesn't take for that to happen for you to appreciate me. But I'm hoping it doesn't. I hope that you really see everything I've done for you one day." Something along those lines. But it's enough to make you feel gulity. Again, like I said. Master Manipulation. But God is not a liar. Something terrible happened to me a couple of months ago, and God + Jesus saved me. But when that terrible thing happened, my mother seemed to care more than my step dad. I mean, come on now! When we got to the hospital, he wouldn't even sit near me to comfort me, or do anything. God had to be the one to pull me out of that mess and make me smile when all I did was cry everyday and not shower for almost two weeks. That's how terrible and depressing it was. But yet he says I just try to hold onto hurt to "just be angry about something" or to "create myself a storyline". Those words even coming out of someone's mouth is sick! It's honestly giving projection. I'm guessing he tries to do that with HIS pain. God is having me move out of their house for good by the end of next month. I know God has great plans for me. He is not a liar. God knows what I had to go through growing up. God tells me time and time again through my clairvoyant visions that "YOU DESERVE BETTER" or "KNOW YOUR WORTH" or "GOD LOVES YOU", etc. HEEEE has to be the one to tell me these things! HEEEE stepped up and is a real father to me! And I owe it to him to show up as the woman he created me to be ❤
This was so heartfelt goodness! I can really feel the pain through your words. It’s very difficult to understand why people act the way they do… and make no means to correct or acknowledge it. As much as I know it pains you… tears you up inside, and leaves you with unanswered questions… please know that you are important and you matter. Sometimes we look for parents to give us what we need, but sometimes they can’t provide it based on their rearing or just their mindset. Love them as you can… and create a life as beautiful as possible. You deserve to feel loved and important… we all do. Please believe that god has something very special in store for you
Omg, you are breaking ALL of the toxic rules assigned to "what goes on in this house STAYS in this house"...and I'm HERE FOR ALLLLL of it! Thank you, sis, for being a healer through your authenticity and vulnerability. I'm inspired!
This video is right on time. Years after finally realizing how toxic and manipulative my family is I had to cut them off. Favoritism, manipulation, lies, drugs, alcoholism, negativity, disrespect I couldn’t take it anymore. No talking, no social media. Nothing. I felt like an outsider during family gatherings. Thank you. Thank you. I thought I was by myself with distancing myself from family❤
Amen I have toxic family and I am 66 years old I've been going through this for years so now I had to step away for good no going back to that anymore it took me years to know who energy vampires are now I know so I won't go back to toxic family now I have peace and God❤
This episode is everything. Thank you for bringing up this topic🙏🏽 Currently struggling with my parents toxicity. Having to step away and choose to love myself more is definitely the best thing I've ever done. Although I'm grateful that I had a home, food and clothes on my back. Love was pretty much shown to me as physical abuse, sweeping traumatizing situations under the rug, constantly criticizing people, making fun of each other, putting each other down and talking badly about others behind their backs. Being taught that they were always right and I was wrong (sadly they still believe this). Today, putting up boundaries to not allow that behavior anymore was tough but nonetheless a must. Teaching my kids what real love is and should be. Breaking that toxic cycle is the best thing I've ever done.
I think what many have learned when choosing themselves is that showing up the way others have is not something they want to intentionally do. We also protect the ones we love who could be harmed from the toxicity so choosing self and family is the ONLY option in many situations. Thank you sis ✨
I decided to choose myself and stepped away from immediate family upon my mothers death. I am no longer obligated to be there. I chose to step away from extended family as well.
@@SeasonedDialogue I feel free to move forward with my life. I no longer have to consider how my actions are going to affect someone else. I am able to be in a space of healing, rest and autonomy.
❤Such a great message. I had to cut ties with a toxic family member years ago. One of the best and most empowering things I did for myself. The rest of my family still maintains a relationship with her, and tolerates her behaviors because “ she’s family”. Ive had to grow out of the belief that “ family is everything” no matter how you are treated by said family. It took a lot of internal work, for which Im so grateful. I have distanced myself from the unhealthy, codependent family dynamics, and I am at peace. I now have close friends who are more like family to me. There’s no gossiping, no disrespect, and Im not required to abandon myself or my values to feel loved and appreciated.
I appreciate this so much. I come from a very toxic family and it's taken years to heal and I still am healing. Now that I've made progress, it's so hard for me to watch others struggle with the burden of their toxic family. It's heartbreaking.
Lets keep strong on our journey to a beautiful peaceful life. I cut contact with my mum and sisters , i was in denial for many years but during lockdown i realised i have to put my mental well being first because i noticed they were not going to change .🙏
This video literally just started playing on my phone by accident. I've been watching your videos for a good minute through my healing journey. I love you and God bless you , thank you for the quick talk ! ♥️
Yet another outstanding episode ma'am. Walked away from my utterly toxic and unhealthy family dynamic years ago. Being adopted (and a naturally occurring powerful empath) and not genetically inheriting their destructive narcissistic lifestyle and behaviors was taxing and very draining. Sometimes you have to think of yourself even after all the time put into that bottomless pit of despair. Walking away is hard but sometimes necessary for spiritual awakening to continue properly and positive spiritual growth. Life is good today but yes, I still honestly miss loved ones even though they may not return or even be capable said emotional developments. Tsk tsk.......😕
GOODNESS!!!! You have no how idea how parallel this is with the lives of so many people. So many family members are narcissistic and have no understanding of BOUNDARIES. I salute you for choosing you. Thank you so much for sharing 💕💕
@@SeasonedDialogue It was a real break through lady that was a long time coming. Sad too because you love them to pieces but spiritual awakenings are like that. End of the old and in with the new- growth. You and your high caliber channel is also now part of my journey. Thanks for that. 👍😉 Like my favorite childhood author once said....... "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" ~Dr. Seuss
This has been the most difficult issue to confront. The hours of meditation , prayer, considering being alone as opposed to causing that type of suffering g on those you love. The sheer dread of being separated ,left alone , abandoned. .I needed this. Thanks for this video, it definitely helps one remember we're not alone. God Bless...
Beautifully said. Exactly my opinion. I'm treated as the "scapegoat" child, adult child/sibling within my toxic so-called family. I've gone fully "no contact". Not easy but, completely necessary! Narcissistic families. Thanks for speaking so sincerely on this reality.🙏🏾
I realize that to break that generational curse, we have to be the one who sets the bar on how family is supposed to be. That's why we grow into the beautiful creatures that we are. We are the ones who are to clean up our family spiritually. Lead by example peace Goddess ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for bringing this topic to the forefront. I chose to walk away from toxic family members. Years later, I revisited Only to reconfirm I had made the right choice to walk away. I chose peace over toxic family New subbie.
Thank you for speaking on this. A lot of people need to hear it as it seems to be a silent epidemic. We grow up in these abusive situations and believe it to be normal then get out into the world and find out it was not right. In that situation people don't know what to do and this is good advice. I was used to being treated like garbage so I loved from afar, until I had a kid, then they broke every one of my boundaries. When that treatment was turned toward my child I stood up and called it out. I tried to love from a distance again but they demanded access to my child. I had to walk away. I had spent years trying to build and repair those relationships all for them to be destroyed in an instant. That was when I realized I had been the only one building. All they did was destroy. It took a bit for me to understand they had their own monsters they were hiding from to make them the way they are. I found compassion for that and I hope they fight them one day, but they're going to have to do it without me.
This is right on time! We truly have to understand that some people have to fight their battles and we are responsible for ours. If we can’t come to a resolution and understanding… sometimes self is the chosen party (and it saves us from a lot).
I found this today…. Last year i moved to a different country and i was so excited because I was moving close to my family. When i started staying with my sibling i realised all my issues would effortlessly be taken out. My own twin sister started spreading lies about and would gossip about to extend that when i got to gatherings people would naturally sweep me aside. I got to appoint where i wanted to take my life. I realised that its not just a family but a toxic one so i seperated myself from everyone and i trained myself to be around them when i want to and not to have an attachment. Because I don’t wanna go back to my place of pain
At the end of it all, I learned to choose myself, to put myself first and to love myself more. I’ve recently done a few of the things you mentioned, created distance, set boundaries and lessens communication with my toxic family members. I’ve never been more at peace and more frequently happy. This is how I know I’m doing right by me. I also have this notion that by having chosen myself, I am now able to elevate mentally, spiritually and emotionally, thus becoming a positive role model for those same family members. Thank you for your content ❤
Thank you Lisa. I can readily relate to this message because of the toxic people who used to be a part of my life. Unfortunately for me, the first and most impactful toxic person in my life was my mother, from the time I was an infant (as I learned). That unfortunate circumstance decidedly changed the course of how my life should have progressed. But, thankfully, there is God’s grace, which had the undeniable ability to transform and renew and that is what happened with me. Thank you again Lisa, for yet another offering of a message that is wholly and holy profound!
Thank you so much! Sometimes we just realize that people won't change no matter how much we want them to. We have to do the work within and be at peace with our decisions and make the best of it. Did this change the way you looked at relationships and friendships? Did you overcompensate in other areas of your life?
I protect my peace at all costs, I will give you a certain amount of time and if you don't make good with the time I give you I excuse myself because I'm older and my time is valuable to me.
Great message. I'm currently going through my healing journey. It has unraveled a good amount of things I thought I had let go of. Seeing things for what they truly are or were has been quite painful. I now truly know why ignorance is considered bliss. When people show you who they are, please believe them and love yourself enough to be enough for you and walk away.
OMG! I can relate to this truth! I'm the Chosen Star Seed and black sheep. When I confronted, it became a Narcissistic situation from them. When I chose me and started saying No and stop people pleasing, now we barely communicate, but only through text. It really hurt me, but GOD gave me a Revelation to forgive and stop dwelling on the pain and release them. We love each other from distance and I wasn't able to see my nieces evolve into the beautiful intellectual Queens they are, but God is slowly restoring our family in his timing. Thank you for this message. I can share a whole story....❤
I love that you said, “forgive and stop dwelling on the pain and release them”. For many people this can be so hard, but it’s actually so needed to gain better clarity of self and move forward with love
@SeasonedDialogue Thank you for seeing me! It was extremely hard coping with it all at first. I'm not saying I don't still have shortcomings of emotions, but I'm a lot further than where I was. I felt like a toddler in the midst of purging through it all. 🤷🏾♀️😌God is slowly restoring my family through answered prayers as i stated from a distance, but I am treading carefully and keeping my Chakras in alignment and discernment available. We all reside in different Cities & and states, and no one makes the effort to make traveling connections unless it's convenient for them or not at all. No matter how many suggestions that I'd made, excuses were always their go-to. Sad, but true! So, I keep shining my beacon of light for my purpose as a Sabbatical Spiritual Vessel and Author to uplift, bless, and encourage others through my poetry and wisdom. All GLORY to GOD! 🧘🏾♀️🙏🏾🦋😇🩵🌈I appreciate you, Lisa you are definitely a Gem 💎 💖 It just feel so good to listen to someone share experiences or knowledge to affirm some of us are not alone. You are therapeutic to my journey Queen 🙏🏾
@@tammynicolemyers6521Bless you. Please keep yourself guarded with “restoration” and what they may look like for you. Could be an opportunity to extend a fake olive branch, only to bait and switch, yo cause you harm again. These Narcs never change…even decades later. God bless. Happy New Year.
I was raised in foster care. So naturally I longed for a family, especially my biological family. When I left the care system, I went looking for my relations. Maybe I exuded a neediness; like a camel in a dry desert needing water, I tried to desperately suck up all the love from my family that I had been longing for. I was afraid to set boundaries, out of fear of losing them again, which opened the door for toxic predators to use me as a door matt and a punch bag, knowing that they could hurt me, say nasty things, and throw me away like garbage, because they knew I would always come back for more. In 2018, I left my hometown, and started a new life. I have achieved more over the past 5 years, then I have over my life time, graduating from my masters degree and co-authoring a book for university students, to name a few. And the reason I believe that I have done so well, is because I closed the door to ALL toxic people, not just the people related to me by blood. I have developed a strength, that I can only give thanks to God for. Thank you for sharing your video, you inspire me. I think this is the 3rd time I have watched this video and I felt compelled to share my story.
Wow!!!! This really made me emotional reading this! You made a life for yourself outside of what you were handed and I love this beautiful story from you. This is a testimony sis. This was beautiful ✨
I have been i a unhealthy relationship with my family. I chose to move away for about 10 years to see if things were getting better, and they’ve only gotten worse. I do appreciate your words of encouragement and endearment, and I just pray that God gives me and everyone else the strength to deal with they need to do when it comes to family that I kind of feel stuck because I have people depending on me and sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming! Forgiveness is not an easy thing, but it’s not always for the other person, and it is for the person, and chooses to forgive!
A friend of mine sent me this video on toxic family. I had been expressing to her how uncomfortable it is. With them. Being around them. As a child it was every form of abuse. And as an adult it still is. Now that I have children. They also see and experience it from grandparents. To uncles, aunts and there cousins. The mental abuse. But all my mother keeps saying is she isn't going to be here much longer. And that we need to figure this out. Amongst us. I am considered the black sheep of this dysfunctional family from the way I operate. to my career choice. To not wanting to be around everyone. Because there are little cliques or there are favorites that do no wrong. By mother. Even if she calls them out of there name directly. If others have issues with them. We are put down. We are told on what we have to do. Then it trickles down to my children who doesn't even want to come around. Than I'm the bad person. This is difficult. Because of how toxic. How dysfunctional. How its been. Than with my father who isn't with my mother says I have to figure it out. That I will regret it if I don't if something were to happen to anyone. At this point I'm ready to throw in towel and just not be around. For me. For my kids and just start over.. Thank you for this amazing content. I will be watching more of your videos. You describe it in a way. That makes sense to understand. That resonates with me deep down. Thank you!!
Goodness! This is so honest and vulnerable. You chose what serves you best...peace. But residing in spaces where people choose not to grow and tell us to figure it out is so exhausting. Is it getting better for you, or is it getting worse? How do you cope when your parents guilt trip you?
It is not getting better.. I'm told I'm immature. because I tell them Im not dealing with this. Or I walk away from family functions, then I'm the bad one. Than my kids don't get birthday or Christmas presents. Or they don't get calls if I don't attend something, than my kids think they do something wrong. Who are 14 and 17 . How I'm coping , is realizing that it's not me. And realizing more and more about walking away. Before hand I just shut down. And don't talk. I do write though so I don't hold things in. Than my emotions are not being aimed towards the wrong individuals. Such as my kids.
I don't know how to unpack the pain, even in therapy. I was the scapegoat my entire life but when I started to distance myself.. I started to find myself enjoy peace that I have never known.
Family operates just like people. Powerful…I am setting tighter boundaries. I stand in confidence. It takes prayers, support and consistency. A uphill climb and it’s worth it. I had to get a place where I decided I have had enough of the narcissistic abuse and other crap that made my life a living hell on earth. Now God has blessed me to create a beautiful life…therapy also helped me…All the best and God’s grace to all who are working through toxic situations in your family.
Its not always drugs drink abuse there can be lack of empathy and understanding.I have always had a very difficult relationship with my mother and sister ( I was a Daddies girl he died) we are extremely different in all views on life expectations and so on.I love them to bits and am very grateful for their help they have given me alot of finanancial support over the years.I got on well better with my youngest sister who died. My mother has grat difficulty in accepting people who are different to her and she set high standards for her daughters I come from a cultured middle class family.I have learnt to forgive them for being disappointed in me and thank God that we live far away.This is a very difficult topic to discuss in brief but there are many hidden problems in the best of families.
Hello Lisa ❤ God has certainly used you to answer questions and prayers that I had been pondering and seeking clarity on. Thanks for this. When I was in the healing phase (which took years), it was essential to put my needs and feelings first to avoid having a crushed spirit, even still I would still show up here and there. Today, I absolutely see that it is necessary to love from a distance. 🙏🏽✨
The timing of this thing is sooo perfect for me; I’ve recently come to terms with the reality that people in my family are toxic and because my aunt was abusive to my mom, she has passed on the influence to her and her brothers kids so much that they feel more related than my mother and her kids because tmy mother doesn’t share the same father as her 2 eldest siblings, the day the mates my age disrespected and disregarded my mother is the day I drew the line because I recognised I am no longer facing a thing, I’m facing a pattern and somebody needs to break it. I walked away and I will stay away until people can sit and talk about things and begin the process of healing. Until then it’s me my mother my siblings and our kids 🧘🏾♀️
This hit home for me I have a child that is truly disrespectful so I’ve finally decided to 🛑 trying she’s toxic and she’s hurting me but I had to give it to a higher power
I walked away still feeling hurt anger. Being told to have a conversation but I’ve refused because others don’t want to be accountable for their actions or response. So I choose me and I’m staying away.
It all resonates with me, I keep myself away from toxic people including family, it serves me no purpose, I pray for them that they will experience change in their hearts to recognise their behaviour and the effects that it has on the person's. Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge to send out the message that needs to be spoken about . Much love sister ❤
This is so on time. I am literally In motion of transition and cutting negative family members at the root and being firm on my stance. Staying connected has caused a heaviness over me. Thank you!❤
Truths on countless flō's.. Though it took years of learning, when it finally came to a head, it was the passing of both my parents that I learned the true values of so-called 'friends & family'.. For me, 'I chose Me!!', with no regrets, remorse, or guilt.. There comes a time when 'Truths' can and will set a person more than free, especially the ones that've cost you everything that never mattered yet enriched your heart and spirit forever and a day ×-infinity.. Love them from a far, and bare not an ounce of hate towards anyone, but 'I love me even more!!', up close and personal with an 'open tab & tip fa life!!'.. It's all good..
dismissing myself is to save me from disruptive mind-games that is and were played regardless, noticing that you are not welcome nor have you ever been embrace, nor even liked. So since being waked and self-aware to who is and were in your existence since birth whom never cared for you (pretended -to be) has been a great and beautiful eye opener. Because you really see and I do mean See them operating
My daughter and I had a very similar conversation recently. My family, unfortunately, is a don't tell group. I agree with her that conversation, uncomfortable, conversation should be had for generational healing can occur and curses can be put to death. Thanks❤
I'm still healing: it's hard explaining to knew friends or love that I have no relationship w/ my family. Ppl turn into bullies b/c they figa who's gonna get me?: they have no family. Society is very disgusting when they feel a person is vulnerable b/c family is everything, right?🙄
This spoke volume to me. Everything that she touched on is what I was dealing with. I’m the youngest of four older siblings, and my second oldest is as mean as they come. I moved away to a different state to escape and save myself the toxicity of my family. When I was there I was suicidal, but now since I’ve been gone for two years, I have found my peace and solidarity. Thank you for this episode. It had me in tears just to know that it was alright to leave and live an ultimate life of that peace through Jesus ❤
I have chosen to finally walk away. I have tried keeping it at a distance because I really wanted to try, but ultimately I had to walk away. I am continuing to work on myself and grow and heal what comes up for me, and unfortunately the same can not be said for my family and it really drains me to be around them and it's harder to heal and undo cycles, patterns and behaviours, so I have finally taken my power back. I love them all with so much love from my heart, and maybe one day we'll realign but for now I choose me, and I have made a promise to myself to always choose me. Thank you so much for making this video, I love listening to your video's and I resonate with most if not all. Sending love to everyone 💞💫
I really needed this. I’m a survivor of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse from both my mother and father. There is such a disconnect within my family. I moved away before learning to love myself and start my life long healing journey. Moving away, learning to forgive myself and them has been a battle but it’s worth it 🧘🏽♀️🙏🏽✨🫶🏽
I always love watching your videos, it's both healing and beautiful to see another Black woman having the courage and bravery to discuss things that in certain family households get portrayed as taboo. From my personal experience, I've witnessed dysfunction within a family household that really allowed me to say that you can still love who you love, but within love have that self-respect for yourself to know you deserve better from both family and friends. When I witness chaos occurring in my family, I allow myself to feel and release whatever my body is needing to be released because I'm a feeler, when I experience something I love going within and doing the work to be able to begin the healing at the Root. Then, once I've felt my river of emotions as I call it I then transmute it whether it's through art, cooking, going for a walk, etc. There's beauty in seeing that there are many cycle breakers out there, as we continue to utilize our voice, not only will we attract our tribe, but we'll be able to showcase to other Black and Brown youth that they too can evolve, heal, and transform! 🦋
I set boundaries with my toxic family. I am still healing but I am in a better place now then I was years ago. Thank you for this positive message. Sending you love and blessings, Lisa Marie.
Yh I'm the difficult one. I chose to remove myself. I couldn't over compromise my self... They played dirty. I realised I'm done. I walked 🚪🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️focusing on my healing with God 📖🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
So funny how this video popped up in my algorithm the other day and I was like, "Imma definitely watch this later," and I saved it to my 'Watch Later' playlist. Well, lo and behold I was ambushed yesterday when two toxic family members from the side of the family I'd completely cut off popped up at my house unannounced for a "visit" like everything was cool, like they did no wrong. Smh. So now, I suppose, is a good time as any to FINALLY watch this video lol
I tried to not comment after reading this 7mths later.😂😮 ru talking to me directly.sis ur right on point.wowww i needed to hear this after sooo many years...thank God for U.God Bless U...🙏🏾❤️✌🏾😊
Agreed ! Family operates just like people and they are ! When dealing I deal with me ! I trust and honor every emotion thought or feeling I experience and decide what that will look like ! That’s the formula for everyone ! There is no hierarchy!
I separated from my family for this very reason. When I came of age I moved away and never returned. I speak only when I have the capacity to speak to them which has not been in person in years. Just over the phone.
@@SeasonedDialogue angry, sad, because I was so hurt and couldn't understand at that time why would my family treat me like this, but as time went on and I learned and grew the less angry and sad I became. I've now come to a place of peace with it and being able to love them from afar
Granted my parents have helped me throughout the years, I cannot condone nor participate in toxic behaviors and scarcity mindset. Boundaries are essential for the sake of my peace and sanity. There is a difference between relatives and family. Tfs
The old me would go off all the time... The new me❤❤❤❤I love my walk with God, full of compassion and Grace , I love my peace . I love how I'm able to forgive and not look back. But im also able to love them and "myself" enough to not be around them anymore. Ive accepted that with them I will always be the "bad sheep"..but in God's eyes. I'm the "chosen one"... im loved UNCONDITIONALLY
When you step away you give yourself time to forgive them and grace yourself to heal. When you stay in you are punishing yourself with bitterness, pain and depression that can even turn into hatred. Step back and love yourself as much as you want somebody else to love you ❤
4 years ago i told off my family and never spoke with them ever again. It's the best decision i ever made. they were too toxic and accusing and name calling me and i had enough. I walk away and never looked back to any of them every again. I only look out for my mom who is of stable but more fragile health. At first it felt scary but i was so angry and fed up when i did it but i am glad to stuck to my decision. Again, best decision i ever made.
Thank you so much Lisa Marie for touching on this issue...I chose ME 2 years back n now I've decided to cut cords with them permanently!if I could afford relocating just so I dont bump into any of them,I would.It really wasnt an easy decision to make as I loved n cared about them a lot not knowing all along they envied me with so much passion.MY sanity comes first,so I ran n never looked back.Its just ME and my baby.I will not allow any of them to come near her.I suffered great trauma,my baby ain't going through that. Loads of love and peace💚all the way from South Africa
I had to drop my mom. She is an amazing person but makes toxic decision that affects me and so I choose myself and my peace and decide to leave her away and let it be. It hurts but it is what it is.
Thank you so so much for this, I started this journey about a year ago, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I’ve gone no contact for about 9 Months, it’s been a roller coaster of emotions, but I’ve never felt this light and freeing, sometimes I feel out of my body, I grew up in a difficult situation, and basically had to be an adult by age 8, along with being sexually abused and molested. Breaking free has been the most liberating journey, and God has been so intentional to me, my siblings are still there, and it breaks my heart but I can’t save them, I just pray they get the strength to fight too. This was sooooo awesome ❤ It’s such a great feeling to know I’m not alone, and to see people getting better and fighting a good fight to total freedom!
You are NOT alone, Sis. I used to think I was alone but now I see, I am not. I've been very little contact for almost 4 years, it has indeed been a roller coaster of emotions. I've never felt this much peace in my entire life. I love it here and I refuse to turn back, only forward. Sending you peace, love & light. 💞💞
Goodness blessings to you!!! No one talks about the feeling of grief you feel when you have to have no contact for your mental sanity. It's a great choice, but it also feels close to death when no contact is the world we live in. I hope it is getting better with the trauma you have experienced also. Hugs to you!
@@SeasonedDialogue Yes, Sis, the grief that comes with having to stand firm on that decision to go no contact knowing it's not what you wanted but what was necessary for your well-being.
@@SeasonedDialogue Honestly, it's such a hard decision, God makes it easier and better, I'm really thankful for this community where I can speak unashamed and not feel judged or condemned, Thank you Lisa, You're truly a light 💞💞💞
In my case it wasn't family ..it was my ex husband ...I'm not in the relationship anymore God help me though that chapter of my life ❤ Thank you for this video
You remind me so much of Hindz here on UA-cam. The aesthetic, the soft voice, the gem dropping. I would love to see a collaboration between you two. With regard to the video, I've recently stopped attending family functions. I used to dread going to my home town to see family because of an alcoholic family member. It's very anxiety inducing and embarrassing. I've started my own traditions during the holidays for myself. I spent Thanksgiving 2021 on a solo Hawaii trip and Christmas '22 on a beach here in LA (it was 80 degrees)! Peace of mind is more important.
For me, I had to totally cut off two toxic older siblings. I tried everything to make our relationship work, but they didn’t. Cutting them off was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I feel so FREE AND LIGHT❤
Im so fed up of my situation. I really feel cursed with the position im in. I just feel like giving up. The lying, gaslighting, smear campaigning of my sister, who motivates her thug husband to mock me, threaten me, and im unable to defend myself as a disabled man. My mom doesn't believe me and says im too sensitive, because the truth about my sister's darkness is too great for her to comprehend. I've had enough.... Just want peace....
Ive recenly had to explain to a stranger why i want nothing to so with family and why i wont come back...the women clearly came from a loving family she couldnt understand...but i told her that for all of the above mentioned reasons u mentioned that i wont be having any dealings with them....im still fight till this day for the kids who are going thru this by not saying silent ...and im am hated for it...the hate doesnt hurt anymore cause i know one day those kids wil have more of a life cause someone stood up and faught for the....the fight has almost completely destroyed my life and reputation...but id do the same in a heartbeat....no regrets. These videos are like balm to my soul. Thank u for touching on things that need to be touched on.
It’s very difficult for people to understand when they haven’t experienced it. Conversations can be one-sided and riddled with a lot of “but why can’t you”.., and “regardless, that’s family” responses. It can go deeper than the surface. That’s why it’s so important to talk about these things out loud and find a community that understands and supports those experiences and feelings. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
It’s like you watched my whole life and your telling my story….WOW . I just got your videos in my feed today. I can’t begin to tell you how much this inspires me to have the courage to leave. I have stepped back from my siblings , but have to get over the hurdle of my relationship with my mom.When I say EVERYTHING you spoke about I’ve experienced. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing out your mouth. GOD sent these videos at this time. Thank you 😊
I sent this video to my girlfriend because everything you are talking about is very significant to what she has dealt with her whole life. All types of abuse but taught to forgive the family just because of that title. Thank you so much Lisa Marie 🫶🏾💫
Eye found this video, right before eye called my family meeting. Deep gratitude and eye am innerstanding family operates just like people. My notes are a bit different since watching this video and this is my last time calling the meeting. As the youngest daughter in the family, eye am done trying to save, this will be challenging however necessary to save my self. Deep gratitude eye am off to do what my intuition is calling me to do🫡 With love and appreciation 🙏🏿
It's never too late although I understand what you mean with the relationship with your children. If you don't mind me asking, how do you cope, and how has this changed you as a person?
@@SeasonedDialogue They don’t speak with me anymore. My mom was very toxic and trying to heal myself I lost myself and wasn’t the best to them. Now I’ve realized my mistakes but it’s too late. Overall I’m happy now just the void with them.
@@AlkalizedEmpress72 I definitely understand. Thank you so much for your perspective. I know you aren't the only one. This was incredibly useful to share. God bless you ❤
Great topic! I'm dealing with this at the moment. I limit myself with talking to my mom due to jealous and gossip. I changed for the better and 3 out 6 of my children have chosen not to speak to me. I was in a toxic relationship with their father due to his drug use. I needed to help myself to get better from past trauma. I opened up about what happened to me and now I continue to be an outcast.
![Дон ДОН, Алаудинов и СБЕЖАВШИЕ из под Курска ахматовцы 😁 [Пародия]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dEfCf5IK26Q/mqdefault.jpg)
I want to have a genuine discussion here. If you are dealing with toxic family members how do/did you cope? Did you choose you? Did you choose to work on the relationship? How complicated is it (if you are open to sharing)? I want each of us to gain a greater perspective on this topic.
For me, the toxicity (from both of my parents) was so prevalent that it effected my mindset as a young child and caused me to act out in a harmful manner towards others. Unfortunately, the escalation of that negative behavior contributed to my becoming incarcerated for a significant time. It was during that time that I was able to see and learn about toxicity and how it can emanate from people even as close to you as parents. In fact, while in the midst of learning about that I would endeavor to share with my parents what I was learning … but they were not receptive. That notwithstanding, I owed it to myself to forge on and continue to empower myself with the ability to withstand life’s challenges. Once I was released, I was able to reshape my relationship with my parents with appropriate boundaries and distance. They were the same people, from the inside out, but I was different, better, so I knew how to handle their characteristic failings. They are no longer with us, but I was able to have a healthy relationship with them for many years prior to their passing.
@@tizone8477 I love this, and I love that you said "Once I was released, I was able to reshape my relationship with my parents with appropriate boundaries and distance. They were the same people, from the inside out, but I was different, better". You acknowledged that though you have changed, they remained the same but your love was still there and you knew how to handle how they showed up. Thank you so much for your enlightened perspective. So thankful that you shared your personal journey as well.
Thank you very much for your response! I am perpetually inspired by your thought and sprit provoking messages and am always sharing them with others.
@@tizone8477 Thank you so much!!! We really need a safe community to share and speak about things that are often silenced. It also helps us to gain better perspectives for living and growing. Thank you so much for tuning in as well ❤
I chose me because they were chosen first. Once we see the value in ourselves, we are responsible for managing our gifts and time wisely. If there isn't a honorable return of what we give then we must restrict giving to the unworthy... family or not. Healthy boundaries are necessary for growth. Great topic.
I learned that limiting interactions with toxic family members works for me. I decide how much I’m gonna participate and then dismiss myself with much love for them. I allow myself to feel all of my feelings about them.
I love this! Such a hard decision to make....but I know it's the best decision for so many who have had enough.
I love that for you @MartyMar-yk1ik 💓💓
@@theevolvingmindset333 ❤️🌹 Thank you
This is exactly what I’ve learned to do as well. I have a huge heart especially for family so it took a very long time for me to get to the place of choosing me and dealing with them when I can mentally handle it and pulling back as needed. The hard part is because it took years before I learned to choose me there is a lot of damage that I needed to repair within myself and some that from my bitterness possibly impacted my children so we are all on a healing journey together now. As stated in the video you can’t heal if you continue to place yourself amongst what has broken you constantly so it’s definitely a balancing act. One thing that is extremely important to note is give it to God he sees all knows all and when you are ready to surrender it he will provide everything you need to heal and remained heal ❤to everyone that dares to be different!
@@christalt5817 🙌🏽 Good for you & your children. 👏🏽👏🏽 I’m on that journey as well. Once I surrendered and allowed God to direct my steps, my life changed. For the better.
Sending you healing energy and vibes your way as you continue on your journey. ✨💛
Amazing work!
At 36 years of age; I'm walking away forever to heal from my childhood trauma because the little girl inside me deserves pure happiness.
She deserves all of the happiness
@@SeasonedDialogue Thank you!
God Bless You!
I’m 50 & I wish I learned that lesson in my 30’s❤❤
I had to go no contact with my mother for my own mental peace. She’s manipulative and narcissistic. I will always love her but distance is best for me at the moment.
I went no contact with my family which was so hard to do because I still love them. I had to start loving myself more!! I’m choosing me now!! I want people in my life that want to be in my life. I’m choosing peace at 53 years old. Not easy but I’m learning how to love me!! I know God has my back!!
HE WANTS HIS DAUGHTERS TO BE FULL OF HAPPINESS AND JOY! HE LOVES US SO MUCH, TIA🥰!
I call out toxic behavior and set my boundaries. People will treat you as much as you allow.
Very true
ABSOLUTELY!
Spirit led me back to this video. I wish family would protect each other like they do with the secrets that they “hide” so well.
Come on now!!!! 🙌🏾
Well Said 🗣️💯🗣️
Amen
Whewww 🙌🏾
Wow spot on
I have healed, and I have boundaries now. I limit my interaction with many and do not participate in activities with those who do not understand boundaries. Peace is my ultimate goal daily.
Peace is such a priority!
👏🏽👏🏽
❤❤❤
Had to check if i wrote this
💜 I chose me and my child - and walked away. It's extremely difficult but I can feel my body detoxing from the emotional toxicity. I wish everyone joy, peace and self love. It's hard out here, in the woods, but I know I will be provided for.
Yes you will
You Matter Also !!!
I have detached from my whole family and I’m never coming back. It took an illness for god to show me and it really hurts. From childhood it was a battle. Dealing with physical, sexual and emotional abuse. I had no one on my side and my mother always took their side. I rebelled and was in and out of the house at 14yrs old and was kicked out 2 weeks after my 16th bday. I’ve always been the support for my family and whenever they needed me I was there. When my illness started it forced me to be talk less, listen and observe more. It showed me the people around me and there behaviours. When I was in the hospital one of my siblings came to see me and I caught her reaction. She was smiling, that was the first of many. I have come to realise I have jealous and envious sisters and that hurts because I have been so supportive. Then I discovered my mother’s behaviour’ and how she was being disruptive during and in my final stages of my degree. I have done so much for her and it’s never enough. The sexual abuse she is always trying to silence me. I always wondered why I attract narcissi’s characters but it’s cause I’m damaged 14:11 by the traumas I have experienced. I am soon to start therapy so I can heal.
So much you mentioned has been the story of my life. Thank you for being here.❤️🙏🏾
I PRAY YOUR JOURNEY TO HEALING WILL BE WITH SPECIAL PEOPLE GOD PUTS IN YOUR LIFE. YOU ARE WORTHY OF GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE. THEY HATE IT WHEN WE ARE SICK, I THINK IT IS AN INCONVENIENCE TO THEM. GOD BLESS YOU.
I am an introvert and I will distance myself so fast when I become uncomfortable around a toxic family member.
SAME!!
Im dealing with a toxic family in Africa and watching this made me tear up. I hope by the end of this month I am able to move 😔 it’s really hard.
I blocked all of them and moved away, it's been 3 years now, life feels like heaven now. I am free :)
I went no contact with a Narc sister years ago. Our mother got sick last year and I had to start communicating w/her again for our mother’s sake and health. I keep my communication direct, curt, short with her and mainly via text for proof cause she lies a lot. She has tried per usual, to try her gaslighting foolishness and I’ve legit ignored her attempts to bait me in her Narc cycle. It’s angered her of course, but I don’t care. I know her pattern better than she knows her own pattern. This holiday season has been better for me than I’ve had in years. Her Narc ways always flare up around the holidays and has affected me. This year I doubled down on boundaries and not responding to baiting.
I haven’t even finished watching. However, yes and yes and yes!!!!! I am so glad many people are choosing to walk away even when it’s HARD. It’s sometimes the best thing for you. It can be life or death! For anyone who is going through this pain, may you find comfort in knowing you are NOT alone.
Yes! I want to move the needle with this one. Such a hard subject to speak on because family situations are so diverse and complicated. One answer can't support every situation. I'm anxious to learn how people chose to deal with their situations.
Indeed sister. Indeed!
@@SamuelGuild1111 Thank you for sharing!!! You are not alone and we see you!!!
@@SeasonedDialogue yes absolutely. It’s so complex. Thank you for this video because this whole thread, for those who need to be heard is so beautiful. It’s so complex. May healing ❤️🩹 be your new reality to those who are seeking for it💕💕💕
I am almost 2 years no contact with my mother and the rest of the family followed along with her.
It has been 2 years of the most growth I've ever experienced. I feel that God put me in this position to sharpen my discernment...to understand that blood and familiarity shouldn't be overlooked. And along my journey I found someone who guides me with genuine intention to help make me better and gain more value.
I am adding more value into my self to overcome my self esteem insecurities. To overcome a life filled with 28 years of no self belief. I want to pour into myself and be able to pour more into those who genuinely support my authentic self.
I have had many rest periods that triggered reflections of past experiences and decisions that led me to where I am today. But it wasn't until recently that I have been praying more and relinquishing the anxiety from my body.
I look forward to working more on myself until I reach self fulifullument destined by God.
🙌🏽🙏🏽
THIS IS WONDERFUL TO HEAR🤗! I AM SEEING SO MUCH SELF-CARE AFTER SO MUCH POISON INFLICTED FROM FAMILY. I, TOO, AM TRYING TO RID MYSELF OF ANYONE WHO PROVES TO NOT REALLY CARE ABOUT ME. LOVE GOES TWO WAYS, NOT ONE WAY. WE ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, GOOD PEOPLE, AND TO LIVE A LIFE WITH OTHERS WHO ARE AIMING FOR THE ULTIMATE PRIZE- TO BE SEATED AT THE TABLE! WE ARE SO WORTHY. GOD LOVES YOU AND IS SMILING DOWN ON YOU FROM HEAVEN.
Thanks for sharing, this gives me hope. 💚
I've learned that the people pleaser in me for the sake of family has evolved. I have acknowledged that being around certain family members is detrimental to my health. I have limited my interaction and moved further away.
Lisa I’m in tears I needed this message. It’s a very hard decision and sometimes family can be your worst enemy.
THIS 💯🗣️💯 Especially, when they hug up INJUSTICE and you weren’t SAFE as a child, even on your OWN house!
Ive had to go back to living with my mom because im pregnant and i thought and was told i would need my 'family' right now. Its been so hard feeling triggered and unseen everyday. Im just in isolation trying my hardest not to slip into a depression as my first baby is due any moment. i defiantly learned throughout my pregnancy that blood is not thicker then water, with the lack of support i have had from my mom and siblings. I think its time to let go of the under estimation i have of myself and being able to take care of a newborn without them and walk away. Luckily there is someone willing to take me in, in one months time.
When it comes to family issues,,,,sometimes separation in silence is the best form of FORGIVENESS,,,,at least in MY WORLD!!!!!! Thank you for your words QUEEN
Thank You Lisa Marie! I take it 1 day at a time but ultimately I left my hometown for college at 18 years old and never looked back (Im now 41, married with children) I only go back when necessary and never force myself for so called obligatory family events....If I feel it I go if not I dont. I limit social media friend request from family, my block game is strong, definitely have had some therapy to understand that setting these boundaries should not cause me feelings of regret but the understanding that I'm protecting my peace. 💫
Yes, I'm very big on boundaries and I feel implementing them are so valuable. But they can also become offensive to those who don't recognize what boundaries are needed. I truly love this for you! It's also important that we protect our children from things we've experienced as well.
I've walked away. I'm worth more. Had to do it for my peace of mind. It just wasn't working any more. I forgive and keep things moving. 🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️🧎🏽♀️📖🙌🏽
They never change they pull you in just to trample on you all over again. Im better off without them. Dont let them apologize when they get old,they had all their life to treat you better. How people treat you is a choice❤
‼️‼️‼️‼️ facts
There only apologizing because there at the end of there life ...
I just talked to my step dad about how he made me feel growing up and I asked him why he did the things he did to my me and my siblings. And the reponse I got was, "Stop trying to reach for things to hold onto, so that you can create yourself an origin story! You grew up loved & cherished. And if I hit you, it was because it was a form of discipline and I actually didn't even hit you that much." And then my mom asked me, "Are you looking for an apology? Cause we're not going to apologize. Kids need a form of discipline or they'd be in jail..." blah blah blah.
It's crazy, because before hand, he told me that those memories must have come from my biological father hitting me, and that he "never did those things". But then he says that he did "SOME" of those things, but I'm just bringing it up so that I can create myself a "backstory" or "origin story". Pretty much saying I'm delusional. He even said to me (since he knows I love to write), "If you wanna write a book about me and get rich off of it, fine! At least I'm being talked about!" He's very manipulative with his words, and he knows how to make you second guess yourself and he knows how to make you feel like you're wrong even when you're right. Growing up, he told me I was "always wrong", anyway. He said something too that was very like...wow. He said, "Hopefully you appreciate me when I'm gone, if you're not going to appreciate me now. Hopefully it doesn't take for that to happen for you to appreciate me. But I'm hoping it doesn't. I hope that you really see everything I've done for you one day." Something along those lines. But it's enough to make you feel gulity. Again, like I said. Master Manipulation.
But God is not a liar. Something terrible happened to me a couple of months ago, and God + Jesus saved me. But when that terrible thing happened, my mother seemed to care more than my step dad. I mean, come on now! When we got to the hospital, he wouldn't even sit near me to comfort me, or do anything. God had to be the one to pull me out of that mess and make me smile when all I did was cry everyday and not shower for almost two weeks. That's how terrible and depressing it was. But yet he says I just try to hold onto hurt to "just be angry about something" or to "create myself a storyline". Those words even coming out of someone's mouth is sick! It's honestly giving projection. I'm guessing he tries to do that with HIS pain.
God is having me move out of their house for good by the end of next month. I know God has great plans for me. He is not a liar. God knows what I had to go through growing up. God tells me time and time again through my clairvoyant visions that "YOU DESERVE BETTER" or "KNOW YOUR WORTH" or "GOD LOVES YOU", etc. HEEEE has to be the one to tell me these things! HEEEE stepped up and is a real father to me! And I owe it to him to show up as the woman he created me to be ❤
This was so heartfelt goodness! I can really feel the pain through your words. It’s very difficult to understand why people act the way they do… and make no means to correct or acknowledge it. As much as I know it pains you… tears you up inside, and leaves you with unanswered questions… please know that you are important and you matter. Sometimes we look for parents to give us what we need, but sometimes they can’t provide it based on their rearing or just their mindset. Love them as you can… and create a life as beautiful as possible. You deserve to feel loved and important… we all do. Please believe that god has something very special in store for you
This was posted just on queue because I’ve embodied years of family toxic energy. I’ve realised to let’s go focus on creating my own space🙏
Sometimes YOU is what you need in a new journey!
Omg, you are breaking ALL of the toxic rules assigned to "what goes on in this house STAYS in this house"...and I'm HERE FOR ALLLLL of it! Thank you, sis, for being a healer through your authenticity and vulnerability. I'm inspired!
Thank you so much!!!
This video is right on time. Years after finally realizing how toxic and manipulative my family is I had to cut them off. Favoritism, manipulation, lies, drugs, alcoholism, negativity, disrespect I couldn’t take it anymore. No talking, no social media. Nothing. I felt like an outsider during family gatherings. Thank you. Thank you. I thought I was by myself with distancing myself from family❤
You are truly not alone!!!!❤️
Not at all… 💯❤️
I choose to extend grace and step away, I refuse to be mentally drained. I have provided professional resources were needed and accepted.
Thank you for this
Amen I have toxic family and I am 66 years old I've been going through this for years so now I had to step away for good no going back to that anymore it took me years to know who energy vampires are now I know so I won't go back to toxic family now I have peace and God❤
This episode is everything. Thank you for bringing up this topic🙏🏽 Currently struggling with my parents toxicity. Having to step away and choose to love myself more is definitely the best thing I've ever done. Although I'm grateful that I had a home, food and clothes on my back. Love was pretty much shown to me as physical abuse, sweeping traumatizing situations under the rug, constantly criticizing people, making fun of each other, putting each other down and talking badly about others behind their backs. Being taught that they were always right and I was wrong (sadly they still believe this). Today, putting up boundaries to not allow that behavior anymore was tough but nonetheless a must. Teaching my kids what real love is and should be. Breaking that toxic cycle is the best thing I've ever done.
I think what many have learned when choosing themselves is that showing up the way others have is not something they want to intentionally do. We also protect the ones we love who could be harmed from the toxicity so choosing self and family is the ONLY option in many situations. Thank you sis ✨
I decided to choose myself and stepped away from immediate family upon my mothers death. I am no longer obligated to be there.
I chose to step away from extended family as well.
How do you feel now?
@@SeasonedDialogue I feel free to move forward with my life. I no longer have to consider how my actions are going to affect someone else. I am able to be in a space of healing, rest and autonomy.
@@lakeishaallen8831 I love this!!! Thank you!
❤Such a great message. I had to cut ties with a toxic family member years ago. One of the best and most empowering things I did for myself. The rest of my family still maintains a relationship with her, and tolerates her behaviors because “ she’s family”.
Ive had to grow out of the belief that “ family is everything” no matter how you are treated by said family. It took a lot of internal work, for which Im so grateful.
I have distanced myself from the unhealthy, codependent family dynamics, and I am at peace.
I now have close friends who are more like family to me.
There’s no gossiping, no disrespect, and Im not required to abandon myself or my values to feel loved and appreciated.
I love this!!!!!! You honor your safe space and I’m sure you are flourishing sis ✨
In the same boat 💗 we are deserving of respect & shouldn’t have to abandon ourselves in order to feel accepted.
I appreciate this so much. I come from a very toxic family and it's taken years to heal and I still am healing. Now that I've made progress, it's so hard for me to watch others struggle with the burden of their toxic family. It's heartbreaking.
I agree! It's such a difficult transition to work through. It's even harder to give advice on the manner when every situation is so different.
Lets keep strong on our journey to a beautiful peaceful life. I cut contact with my mum and sisters , i was in denial for many years but during lockdown i realised i have to put my mental well being first because i noticed they were not going to change .🙏
This video literally just started playing on my phone by accident. I've been watching your videos for a good minute through my healing journey. I love you and God bless you , thank you for the quick talk ! ♥️
Yet another outstanding episode ma'am. Walked away from my utterly toxic and unhealthy family dynamic years ago. Being adopted (and a naturally occurring powerful empath) and not genetically inheriting their destructive narcissistic lifestyle and behaviors was taxing and very draining. Sometimes you have to think of yourself even after all the time put into that bottomless pit of despair. Walking away is hard but sometimes necessary for spiritual awakening to continue properly and positive spiritual growth. Life is good today but yes, I still honestly miss loved ones even though they may not return or even be capable said emotional developments. Tsk tsk.......😕
GOODNESS!!!! You have no how idea how parallel this is with the lives of so many people. So many family members are narcissistic and have no understanding of BOUNDARIES. I salute you for choosing you. Thank you so much for sharing 💕💕
@@SeasonedDialogue It was a real break through lady that was a long time coming. Sad too because you love them to pieces but spiritual awakenings are like that. End of the old and in with the new- growth. You and your high caliber channel is also now part of my journey. Thanks for that. 👍😉
Like my favorite childhood author once said.......
"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"
~Dr. Seuss
This has been the most difficult issue to confront. The hours of meditation , prayer, considering being alone as opposed to causing that type of suffering g on those you love. The sheer dread of being separated ,left alone , abandoned. .I needed this. Thanks for this video, it definitely helps one remember we're not alone. God Bless...
Beautifully said. Exactly my opinion. I'm treated as the "scapegoat" child, adult child/sibling within my toxic so-called family. I've gone fully "no contact". Not easy but, completely necessary! Narcissistic families. Thanks for speaking so sincerely on this reality.🙏🏾
I realize that to break that generational curse, we have to be the one who sets the bar on how family is supposed to be. That's why we grow into the beautiful creatures that we are. We are the ones who are to clean up our family spiritually. Lead by example peace Goddess ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for bringing this topic to the forefront. I chose to walk away from toxic family members. Years later, I revisited Only to reconfirm I had made the right choice to walk away. I chose peace over toxic family
New subbie.
Did you make your own family ???
Thank you for speaking on this. A lot of people need to hear it as it seems to be a silent epidemic. We grow up in these abusive situations and believe it to be normal then get out into the world and find out it was not right. In that situation people don't know what to do and this is good advice. I was used to being treated like garbage so I loved from afar, until I had a kid, then they broke every one of my boundaries. When that treatment was turned toward my child I stood up and called it out. I tried to love from a distance again but they demanded access to my child. I had to walk away. I had spent years trying to build and repair those relationships all for them to be destroyed in an instant. That was when I realized I had been the only one building. All they did was destroy. It took a bit for me to understand they had their own monsters they were hiding from to make them the way they are. I found compassion for that and I hope they fight them one day, but they're going to have to do it without me.
Good for you. It takes courage to distance yourself from 'relatives' and you did it twice! Sending you peace, love & light. 💞💞
This is right on time! We truly have to understand that some people have to fight their battles and we are responsible for ours. If we can’t come to a resolution and understanding… sometimes self is the chosen party (and it saves us from a lot).
I found this today…. Last year i moved to a different country and i was so excited because I was moving close to my family. When i started staying with my sibling i realised all my issues would effortlessly be taken out. My own twin sister started spreading lies about and would gossip about to extend that when i got to gatherings people would naturally sweep me aside. I got to appoint where i wanted to take my life. I realised that its not just a family but a toxic one so i seperated myself from everyone and i trained myself to be around them when i want to and not to have an attachment. Because I don’t wanna go back to my place of pain
At the end of it all, I learned to choose myself, to put myself first and to love myself more. I’ve recently done a few of the things you mentioned, created distance, set boundaries and lessens communication with my toxic family members. I’ve never been more at peace and more frequently happy. This is how I know I’m doing right by me. I also have this notion that by having chosen myself, I am now able to elevate mentally, spiritually and emotionally, thus becoming a positive role model for those same family members.
Thank you for your content ❤
Elevation!!!! Huge result of choosing you! Thank you so much for your comments as well ❤️
Thank you Lisa. I can readily relate to this message because of the toxic people who used to be a part of my life. Unfortunately for me, the first and most impactful toxic person in my life was my mother, from the time I was an infant (as I learned). That unfortunate circumstance decidedly changed the course of how my life should have progressed. But, thankfully, there is God’s grace, which had the undeniable ability to transform and renew and that is what happened with me. Thank you again Lisa, for yet another offering of a message that is wholly and holy profound!
Thank you so much! Sometimes we just realize that people won't change no matter how much we want them to. We have to do the work within and be at peace with our decisions and make the best of it. Did this change the way you looked at relationships and friendships? Did you overcompensate in other areas of your life?
I protect my peace at all costs, I will give you a certain amount of time and if you don't make good with the time I give you I excuse myself because I'm older and my time is valuable to me.
Great message. I'm currently going through my healing journey. It has unraveled a good amount of things I thought I had let go of. Seeing things for what they truly are or were has been quite painful. I now truly know why ignorance is considered bliss. When people show you who they are, please believe them and love yourself enough to be enough for you and walk away.
GOODNESS! When people show you who they are........ 🔥🔥
OMG! I can relate to this truth! I'm the Chosen Star Seed and black sheep. When I confronted, it became a Narcissistic situation from them. When I chose me and started saying No and stop people pleasing, now we barely communicate, but only through text. It really hurt me, but GOD gave me a Revelation to forgive and stop dwelling on the pain and release them. We love each other from distance and I wasn't able to see my nieces evolve into the beautiful intellectual Queens they are, but God is slowly restoring our family in his timing. Thank you for this message. I can share a whole story....❤
I love that you said, “forgive and stop dwelling on the pain and release them”. For many people this can be so hard, but it’s actually so needed to gain better clarity of self and move forward with love
@SeasonedDialogue Thank you for seeing me! It was extremely hard coping with it all at first. I'm not saying I don't still have shortcomings of emotions, but I'm a lot further than where I was. I felt like a toddler in the midst of purging through it all. 🤷🏾♀️😌God is slowly restoring my family through answered prayers as i stated from a distance, but I am treading carefully and keeping my Chakras in alignment and discernment available. We all reside in different Cities & and states, and no one makes the effort to make traveling connections unless it's convenient for them or not at all. No matter how many suggestions that I'd made, excuses were always their go-to. Sad, but true! So, I keep shining my beacon of light for my purpose as a Sabbatical Spiritual Vessel and Author to uplift, bless, and encourage others through my poetry and wisdom. All GLORY to GOD! 🧘🏾♀️🙏🏾🦋😇🩵🌈I appreciate you, Lisa you are definitely a Gem 💎 💖 It just feel so good to listen to someone share experiences or knowledge to affirm some of us are not alone. You are therapeutic to my journey Queen 🙏🏾
@@tammynicolemyers6521Bless you. Please keep yourself guarded with “restoration” and what they may look like for you. Could be an opportunity to extend a fake olive branch, only to bait and switch, yo cause you harm again. These Narcs never change…even decades later. God bless. Happy New Year.
I was raised in foster care. So naturally I longed for a family, especially my biological family. When I left the care system, I went looking for my relations. Maybe I exuded a neediness; like a camel in a dry desert needing water, I tried to desperately suck up all the love from my family that I had been longing for. I was afraid to set boundaries, out of fear of losing them again, which opened the door for toxic predators to use me as a door matt and a punch bag, knowing that they could hurt me, say nasty things, and throw me away like garbage, because they knew I would always come back for more. In 2018, I left my hometown, and started a new life. I have achieved more over the past 5 years, then I have over my life time, graduating from my masters degree and co-authoring a book for university students, to name a few. And the reason I believe that I have done so well, is because I closed the door to ALL toxic people, not just the people related to me by blood. I have developed a strength, that I can only give thanks to God for. Thank you for sharing your video, you inspire me. I think this is the 3rd time I have watched this video and I felt compelled to share my story.
Wow!!!! This really made me emotional reading this! You made a life for yourself outside of what you were handed and I love this beautiful story from you. This is a testimony sis. This was beautiful ✨
@@SeasonedDialogue thank you so much ❤ and thank you for creating such honest and inspirational content.
Your story resonates with me ❤
I have been i a unhealthy relationship with my family. I chose to move away for about 10 years to see if things were getting better, and they’ve only gotten worse. I do appreciate your words of encouragement and endearment, and I just pray that God gives me and everyone else the strength to deal with they need to do when it comes to family that I kind of feel stuck because I have people depending on me and sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming! Forgiveness is not an easy thing, but it’s not always for the other person, and it is for the person, and chooses to forgive!
A friend of mine sent me this video on toxic family. I had been expressing to her how uncomfortable it is. With them. Being around them. As a child it was every form of abuse. And as an adult it still is. Now that I have children. They also see and experience it from grandparents. To uncles, aunts and there cousins. The mental abuse. But all my mother keeps saying is she isn't going to be here much longer. And that we need to figure this out. Amongst us. I am considered the black sheep of this dysfunctional family from the way I operate. to my career choice. To not wanting to be around everyone. Because there are little cliques or there are favorites that do no wrong. By mother. Even if she calls them out of there name directly. If others have issues with them. We are put down. We are told on what we have to do. Then it trickles down to my children who doesn't even want to come around. Than I'm the bad person. This is difficult. Because of how toxic. How dysfunctional. How its been. Than with my father who isn't with my mother says I have to figure it out. That I will regret it if I don't if something were to happen to anyone. At this point I'm ready to throw in towel and just not be around. For me. For my kids and just start over.. Thank you for this amazing content. I will be watching more of your videos. You describe it in a way. That makes sense to understand. That resonates with me deep down. Thank you!!
Goodness! This is so honest and vulnerable. You chose what serves you best...peace. But residing in spaces where people choose not to grow and tell us to figure it out is so exhausting. Is it getting better for you, or is it getting worse? How do you cope when your parents guilt trip you?
It is not getting better.. I'm told I'm immature. because I tell them Im not dealing with this. Or I walk away from family functions, then I'm the bad one. Than my kids don't get birthday or Christmas presents. Or they don't get calls if I don't attend something, than my kids think they do something wrong. Who are 14 and 17 . How I'm coping , is realizing that it's not me. And realizing more and more about walking away. Before hand I just shut down. And don't talk. I do write though so I don't hold things in. Than my emotions are not being aimed towards the wrong individuals. Such as my kids.
I needed this video. This is my current season and I'm looking forward to the separation. Jesus is my family now. Thank you for sharing this.
You are so welcome!
I don't know how to unpack the pain, even in therapy. I was the scapegoat my entire life but when I started to distance myself.. I started to find myself enjoy peace that I have never known.
Your peace is so essential
Family operates just like people. Powerful…I am setting tighter boundaries. I stand in confidence. It takes prayers, support and consistency. A uphill climb and it’s worth it. I had to get a place where I decided I have had enough of the narcissistic abuse and other crap that made my life a living hell on earth. Now God has blessed me to create a beautiful life…therapy also helped me…All the best and God’s grace to all who are working through toxic situations in your family.
Its not always drugs drink abuse there can be lack of empathy and understanding.I have always had a very difficult relationship with my mother and sister ( I was a Daddies girl he died) we are extremely different in all views on life expectations and so on.I love them to bits and am very grateful for their help they have given me alot of finanancial support over the years.I got on well better with my youngest sister who died. My mother has grat difficulty in accepting people who are different to her and she set high standards for her daughters I come from a cultured middle class family.I have learnt to forgive them for being disappointed in me and thank God that we live far away.This is a very difficult topic to discuss in brief but there are many hidden problems in the best of families.
Absolutely so many to touch on… so many dynamics as well. Thank you so much for sharing ✨❤️
Hello Lisa ❤ God has certainly used you to answer questions and prayers that I had been pondering and seeking clarity on. Thanks for this. When I was in the healing phase (which took years), it was essential to put my needs and feelings first to avoid having a crushed spirit, even still I would still show up here and there. Today, I absolutely see that it is necessary to love from a distance. 🙏🏽✨
The timing of this thing is sooo perfect for me; I’ve recently come to terms with the reality that people in my family are toxic and because my aunt was abusive to my mom, she has passed on the influence to her and her brothers kids so much that they feel more related than my mother and her kids because tmy mother doesn’t share the same father as her 2 eldest siblings, the day the mates my age disrespected and disregarded my mother is the day I drew the line because I recognised I am no longer facing a thing, I’m facing a pattern and somebody needs to break it. I walked away and I will stay away until people can sit and talk about things and begin the process of healing. Until then it’s me my mother my siblings and our kids 🧘🏾♀️
This hit home for me I have a child that is truly disrespectful so I’ve finally decided to 🛑 trying she’s toxic and she’s hurting me but I had to give it to a higher power
Sometimes we must walk away...I pray you guys can mend the bond ❤
I walked away still feeling hurt anger. Being told to have a conversation but I’ve refused because others don’t want to be accountable for their actions or response. So I choose me and I’m staying away.
Choose you!
It all resonates with me, I keep myself away from toxic people including family, it serves me no purpose, I pray for them that they will experience change in their hearts to recognise their behaviour and the effects that it has on the person's.
Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge to send out the message that needs to be spoken about . Much love sister ❤
Thank you so much ❤️❤️✨
Thank you for sharing. I forgave them and released them with love. I am exercising boundaries and going 2 years into my healing journey now❤.
Looking at all these comments made me a little sad but I want you all to know YOU DO MATTER!❤
This is so on time. I am literally In motion of transition and cutting negative family members at the root and being firm on my stance. Staying connected has caused a heaviness over me.
Thank you!❤
I'm happy that you are staying firm on your boundaries. Bless you ❤️
Truths on countless flō's.. Though it took years of learning, when it finally came to a head, it was the passing of both my parents that I learned the true values of so-called 'friends & family'..
For me, 'I chose Me!!', with no regrets, remorse, or guilt..
There comes a time when 'Truths' can and will set a person more than free, especially the ones that've cost you everything that never mattered yet enriched your heart and spirit forever and a day ×-infinity..
Love them from a far, and bare not an ounce of hate towards anyone, but 'I love me even more!!', up close and personal with an 'open tab & tip fa life!!'..
It's all good..
dismissing myself is to save me from disruptive mind-games that is and were played regardless, noticing that you are not welcome nor have you ever been embrace, nor even liked. So since being waked and self-aware to who is and were in your existence since birth whom never cared for you (pretended -to be) has been a great and beautiful eye opener. Because you really see and I do mean See them operating
My daughter and I had a very similar conversation recently. My family, unfortunately, is a don't tell group. I agree with her that conversation, uncomfortable, conversation should be had for generational healing can occur and curses can be put to death. Thanks❤
Yes indeed! We have too address some difficult truths!
I'm still healing: it's hard explaining to knew friends or love that I have no relationship w/ my family. Ppl turn into bullies b/c they figa who's gonna get me?: they have no family. Society is very disgusting when they feel a person is vulnerable b/c family is everything, right?🙄
I definitely understand
I OVERStand this completely!
Just had this convo with God. This is confirmation! Thanks Lisa 💐🙏🏽
You are so welcome
If I could like this a million times I would. Thank you for sharing this message. I needed this. ❤🙏🏽
You are so welcome ❤️❤️❤️
This spoke volume to me. Everything that she touched on is what I was dealing with. I’m the youngest of four older siblings, and my second oldest is as mean as they come. I moved away to a different state to escape and save myself the toxicity of my family. When I was there I was suicidal, but now since I’ve been gone for two years, I have found my peace and solidarity. Thank you for this episode. It had me in tears just to know that it was alright to leave and live an ultimate life of that peace through Jesus ❤
Goodness…. You’re so welcome ❤️
I have chosen to finally walk away. I have tried keeping it at a distance because I really wanted to try, but ultimately I had to walk away. I am continuing to work on myself and grow and heal what comes up for me, and unfortunately the same can not be said for my family and it really drains me to be around them and it's harder to heal and undo cycles, patterns and behaviours, so I have finally taken my power back. I love them all with so much love from my heart, and maybe one day we'll realign but for now I choose me, and I have made a promise to myself to always choose me. Thank you so much for making this video, I love listening to your video's and I resonate with most if not all. Sending love to everyone 💞💫
Sending you peace, love & light. 💞💞
You chose you and this present moment, that may be what matters most
@@theevolvingmindset333 Sending love and light right back to you 💞💫
@@SeasonedDialogue I definately agree 💞💫
I really needed this. I’m a survivor of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse from both my mother and father. There is such a disconnect within my family. I moved away before learning to love myself and start my life long healing journey. Moving away, learning to forgive myself and them has been a battle but it’s worth it 🧘🏽♀️🙏🏽✨🫶🏽
I'm so glad you are flourishing sis.I'm so sorry for what you've experienced and been through. You deserve all of the love and hugs sis ❤️
I always love watching your videos, it's both healing and beautiful to see another Black woman having the courage and bravery to discuss things that in certain family households get portrayed as taboo. From my personal experience, I've witnessed dysfunction within a family household that really allowed me to say that you can still love who you love, but within love have that self-respect for yourself to know you deserve better from both family and friends. When I witness chaos occurring in my family, I allow myself to feel and release whatever my body is needing to be released because I'm a feeler, when I experience something I love going within and doing the work to be able to begin the healing at the Root. Then, once I've felt my river of emotions as I call it I then transmute it whether it's through art, cooking, going for a walk, etc. There's beauty in seeing that there are many cycle breakers out there, as we continue to utilize our voice, not only will we attract our tribe, but we'll be able to showcase to other Black and Brown youth that they too can evolve, heal, and transform! 🦋
Thank you for this!!!!!!! “You can still love who you love, but have that self respect for yourself”…
SPEAK 🗣️ LISA.!!!! ❤Truth is Truth.!!!
Thank you sis ❤
@@SeasonedDialogue My Pleasure 🤗.!!
I set boundaries with my toxic family. I am still healing but I am in a better place now then I was years ago. Thank you for this positive message. Sending you love and blessings, Lisa Marie.
I just found you tonight and I’m on a binge it’s healing me in ways you don’t even know! So glad I found and subscribed ❤
Yh I'm the difficult one. I chose to remove myself. I couldn't over compromise my self... They played dirty. I realised I'm done. I walked 🚪🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️focusing on my healing with God 📖🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
So funny how this video popped up in my algorithm the other day and I was like, "Imma definitely watch this later," and I saved it to my 'Watch Later' playlist. Well, lo and behold I was ambushed yesterday when two toxic family members from the side of the family I'd completely cut off popped up at my house unannounced for a "visit" like everything was cool, like they did no wrong. Smh. So now, I suppose, is a good time as any to FINALLY watch this video lol
I tried to not comment after reading this 7mths later.😂😮 ru talking to me directly.sis ur right on point.wowww i needed to hear this after sooo many years...thank God for U.God Bless U...🙏🏾❤️✌🏾😊
Agreed ! Family operates just like people and they are !
When dealing I deal with me !
I trust and honor every emotion thought or feeling I experience and decide what that will look like ! That’s the formula for everyone ! There is no hierarchy!
And thats on that!
I separated from my family for this very reason. When I came of age I moved away and never returned. I speak only when I have the capacity to speak to them which has not been in person in years. Just over the phone.
This is truly self care....how did you feel in the beginning of the separation?
@@SeasonedDialogue angry, sad, because I was so hurt and couldn't understand at that time why would my family treat me like this, but as time went on and I learned and grew the less angry and sad I became. I've now come to a place of peace with it and being able to love them from afar
@@juliannestowbridge8093 so important...yet beautiful too. You chose you and encouraged your own healing and growth. Thank you so much for sharing!!!
@@SeasonedDialogue you're welcome, and thank you for the conversation. Your content is amazing👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Granted my parents have helped me throughout the years, I cannot condone nor participate in toxic behaviors and scarcity mindset. Boundaries are essential for the sake of my peace and sanity. There is a difference between relatives and family. Tfs
The old me would go off all the time...
The new me❤❤❤❤I love my walk with God, full of compassion and Grace , I love my peace . I love how I'm able to forgive and not look back. But im also able to love them and "myself" enough to not be around them anymore. Ive accepted that with them I will always be the "bad sheep"..but in God's eyes. I'm the "chosen one"... im loved UNCONDITIONALLY
I enjoyed this talk on the "Toxicity in Family Relationships". But this background music that playing is beautiful as well.
When you step away you give yourself time to forgive them and grace yourself to heal. When you stay in you are punishing yourself with bitterness, pain and depression that can even turn into hatred. Step back and love yourself as much as you want somebody else to love you ❤
4 years ago i told off my family and never spoke with them ever again. It's the best decision i ever made. they were too toxic and accusing and name calling me and i had enough. I walk away and never looked back to any of them every again. I only look out for my mom who is of stable but more fragile health. At first it felt scary but i was so angry and fed up when i did it but i am glad to stuck to my decision. Again, best decision i ever made.
I truly love this for you and the decision that you made to honor yourself!
Thank you so much Lisa Marie for touching on this issue...I chose ME 2 years back n now I've decided to cut cords with them permanently!if I could afford relocating just so I dont bump into any of them,I would.It really wasnt an easy decision to make as I loved n cared about them a lot not knowing all along they envied me with so much passion.MY sanity comes first,so I ran n never looked back.Its just ME and my baby.I will not allow any of them to come near her.I suffered great trauma,my baby ain't going through that.
Loads of love and peace💚all the way from South Africa
I'm so happy for each person who decided to choose themselves instead of suffering through it. Thank you for sharing
I had to drop my mom. She is an amazing person but makes toxic decision that affects me and so I choose myself and my peace and decide to leave her away and let it be. It hurts but it is what it is.
So much love for this vulnerability and honesty… thank you!
Thank you so so much for this, I started this journey about a year ago, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I’ve gone no contact for about 9 Months, it’s been a roller coaster of emotions, but I’ve never felt this light and freeing, sometimes I feel out of my body, I grew up in a difficult situation, and basically had to be an adult by age 8, along with being sexually abused and molested. Breaking free has been the most liberating journey, and God has been so intentional to me, my siblings are still there, and it breaks my heart but I can’t save them, I just pray they get the strength to fight too. This was sooooo awesome ❤
It’s such a great feeling to know I’m not alone, and to see people getting better and fighting a good fight to total freedom!
You are NOT alone, Sis. I used to think I was alone but now I see, I am not. I've been very little contact for almost 4 years, it has indeed been a roller coaster of emotions. I've never felt this much peace in my entire life. I love it here and I refuse to turn back, only forward. Sending you peace, love & light. 💞💞
Goodness blessings to you!!! No one talks about the feeling of grief you feel when you have to have no contact for your mental sanity. It's a great choice, but it also feels close to death when no contact is the world we live in. I hope it is getting better with the trauma you have experienced also. Hugs to you!
@@SeasonedDialogue Yes, Sis, the grief that comes with having to stand firm on that decision to go no contact knowing it's not what you wanted but what was necessary for your well-being.
@@theevolvingmindset333 Thank you so much, honestly the level of peace and relief can't be explained. Forward alone!
@@SeasonedDialogue Honestly, it's such a hard decision, God makes it easier and better, I'm really thankful for this community where I can speak unashamed and not feel judged or condemned, Thank you Lisa, You're truly a light 💞💞💞
In my case it wasn't family ..it was my ex husband ...I'm not in the relationship anymore God help me though that chapter of my life ❤ Thank you for this video
Lisa Marie… ma’am!! ❤️🔥🤌🏾🤌🏾 Yes God!! I agree with every word!!! Wooooow I needed to hear this! Thank you soooo much!!
Lisa I want to send my.thanks to you. You explain so well. Thank you. Yes, moving away and moving on is a must. Thanks again.
You remind me so much of Hindz here on UA-cam. The aesthetic, the soft voice, the gem dropping. I would love to see a collaboration between you two. With regard to the video, I've recently stopped attending family functions. I used to dread going to my home town to see family because of an alcoholic family member. It's very anxiety inducing and embarrassing. I've started my own traditions during the holidays for myself. I spent Thanksgiving 2021 on a solo Hawaii trip and Christmas '22 on a beach here in LA (it was 80 degrees)! Peace of mind is more important.
Thank you!!! I love that you implemented your own traditions. This could also be a valuable took for others who are newly adjusting
imagine Hindz and her teaming up for a chill fest!
For me, I had to totally cut off two toxic older siblings. I tried everything to make our relationship work, but they didn’t. Cutting them off was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I feel so FREE AND LIGHT❤
Im so fed up of my situation. I really feel cursed with the position im in. I just feel like giving up. The lying, gaslighting, smear campaigning of my sister, who motivates her thug husband to mock me, threaten me, and im unable to defend myself as a disabled man. My mom doesn't believe me and says im too sensitive, because the truth about my sister's darkness is too great for her to comprehend. I've had enough.... Just want peace....
Sending you 🙏🏽 and hugs 🫂
@@NikkiaSings Thanks 😊🙏🏼
Thank you for this episode.
Whenever I'm experiencing troubles with family I learned to focus on two things:
Self Care
My Internal World
I love this! So very true
When my parents passed away 8 years ago , I hadn’t been around my family or spoken with them.
Goodness. How do you feel?
Ive recenly had to explain to a stranger why i want nothing to so with family and why i wont come back...the women clearly came from a loving family she couldnt understand...but i told her that for all of the above mentioned reasons u mentioned that i wont be having any dealings with them....im still fight till this day for the kids who are going thru this by not saying silent ...and im am hated for it...the hate doesnt hurt anymore cause i know one day those kids wil have more of a life cause someone stood up and faught for the....the fight has almost completely destroyed my life and reputation...but id do the same in a heartbeat....no regrets.
These videos are like balm to my soul.
Thank u for touching on things that need to be touched on.
It’s very difficult for people to understand when they haven’t experienced it. Conversations can be one-sided and riddled with a lot of “but why can’t you”.., and “regardless, that’s family” responses. It can go deeper than the surface. That’s why it’s so important to talk about these things out loud and find a community that understands and supports those experiences and feelings. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
It’s like you watched my whole life and your telling my story….WOW . I just got your videos in my feed today. I can’t begin to tell you how much this inspires me to have the courage to leave. I have stepped back from my siblings , but have to get over the hurdle of my relationship with my mom.When I say EVERYTHING you spoke about I’ve experienced. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing out your mouth. GOD sent these videos at this time. Thank you 😊
Do what is best for your mental health. We all deserve peace ❤️
I sent this video to my girlfriend because everything you are talking about is very significant to what she has dealt with her whole life. All types of abuse but taught to forgive the family just because of that title. Thank you so much Lisa Marie 🫶🏾💫
Awww you are so welcome ❤❤
Eye found this video, right before eye called my family meeting. Deep gratitude and eye am innerstanding family operates just like people. My notes are a bit different since watching this video and this is my last time calling the meeting. As the youngest daughter in the family, eye am done trying to save, this will be challenging however necessary to save my self. Deep gratitude eye am off to do what my intuition is calling me to do🫡
With love and appreciation 🙏🏿
It’s been a whirlwind of emotions, I healed myself too late and have lost the relationship with m6 kids. Thank you Lisa for this ❣️
It's never too late although I understand what you mean with the relationship with your children. If you don't mind me asking, how do you cope, and how has this changed you as a person?
@@SeasonedDialogue They don’t speak with me anymore. My mom was very toxic and trying to heal myself I lost myself and wasn’t the best to them. Now I’ve realized my mistakes but it’s too late. Overall I’m happy now just the void with them.
@@AlkalizedEmpress72 I definitely understand. Thank you so much for your perspective. I know you aren't the only one. This was incredibly useful to share. God bless you ❤
@@SeasonedDialogue ❤️❤️
Great topic!
I'm dealing with this at the moment. I limit myself with talking to my mom due to jealous and gossip.
I changed for the better and 3 out 6 of my children have chosen not to speak to me. I was in a toxic relationship with their father due to his drug use. I needed to help myself to get better from past trauma. I opened up about what happened to me and now I continue to be an outcast.