Not a man, but i had my second son 2 weeks ago. My epidural failed, pain meds failed and i ended up feeling everything. My sons heartbeat was plummeting everytime i contracted. Terrified doesnt explain the feeling. I couldnt imagine not having my partner there to support me. Didnt matter he couldnt help, i needed him there.
Most men in period pieces are waiting outside their wives labor rooms waiting to hear not only that they have a healthy child but that their wife survived.
Most women died in 1800s if they had to go to hospital due to not washing hands. Germs killed them. Most Americans had a doctor and/or midwife come to their house and only went if really had a bad birth to hospital.
Yeah, I don't know what period pieces he watched. The men in the pub were probably also thinking about the birth, not sleeping and using white noise to relax while your wife could be dieing 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Served 22 years in the Military and the only major regret I have is that I missed my child's birth. I can't imagine being proud of not being there for my wife.
I'm so lucky my husband was there for both times.... but a lot of our friends missed borths of their kids. One guy missed all 4 of his kids births... that happens when they deploy every other year.
My husband deployed with my first baby. Had no idea how long they would be gone......you best believe I spoke freely with the first Sgt and the LT. I didn't get pregnant by myself and I'm not having this baby by myself. 😂 They gave me a certificate being funny of being the most effective and persuasive wife 😂😂. We had beers all together and they are still great friends of the family and now mentor that same baby in the Navy ❤
He very clearly doesnt care about his wife or child. He bragged about turning on a white noise machine so he couldnt hear anything after he sent her out... so if he got a call that something went wrong and his wife and child died, he literally abandoned them, AND willfully ignored them in their greatest time of need. And he brags about it. He obviously takes his family for granted. Very sad.
@@starfishrock But normally even if the guy’s not involved in the process, he would typically still be concerned. He does know that the woman or the baby could die during this process, right?
"He bragged about turning on a white noise machine so he couldnt hear anything after he sent her out" ...like his wife's cry's of agony 💀 If that were me I wouldn't even come back, he could sleep for the rest of his life.
Oh it’s a no from me. Some men don’t go in the room, but there’s the classic image of them stressing and pacing outside the door. But he doesn’t sound like he even cares
@@darnellwilliams8783 I just want to clarify some things here. 1) @viviand16 only said SOME men don't go in the room, that's not the majority. 2) Even now there are some men who stay right outside the room because it's possible they faint or aren't good with other's body fluids and get nausea. Some women find it difficult to concentrate when their husband faints and has doctors/nurses checking on him too. I think most men in the year 2024 would be in the room making sure she's supported but if she knows her man will likely faint if he sees it will have him stand outside then once the baby is out and it's time to cut the cord he comes back in.
If I were a good dude, these big mouth “alpha” types would infuriate me. Entitled women with princess complexes do that to me. It’s sad that the worse people have the loudest voices
@@TheReluctantVlogger Yeah, a lot of the alpha podcaster bro type dudes really suck. You're right though, the internet has given the fools of society a platform to spread their idiocy, male or female.
I feel HORRIBLE for the first man’s wife, going to bed while his wife was going through birth. His carelessness is beyond me. I’ve had two home births (soon to be three) and you bet my wonderful husband was right by my side the entire time doing everything he could. It’s just as much his child and if he didn’t care to be apart of the process I would be devastated.
Exactly. I said the same thing about it being both their responsibility just in different words. The female may have to give birth, but you both created this life and the male should be there for support and why would any man not want to witness his child being born? So sad.
A man with infinite options of women vying for his attention has little reason to care for them. It's basic r-K selection theory. Women acting based mostly on instincts and refusing to act based on traditional codes of behaviour is destroying the foundations of what we need in order to have a civilziation.
Maybe he is masking his fear about the birth. He certainly missed out on a chance to mature. I worry about his commitment in the long run. .. he was a bit too glad that he missed it. I am not impressed by his comments.
My mother is a midwife & I got to catch my son being born. Babies being born in are house was a normal thing growing up & got a kick out of the neighbors freak out when some ladies got loud 😂
My husband would be devastated to not be there to see his babies being born. Not to mention that I think men get so much more respect for what women go through when giving birth. My father didn’t see his first 2 being born in Iraq, and was there to see my little brothers (twins) being born in the Netherlands. My mom tells me the difference was enormous. He cold turkey stopped smoking. He became way more involved gave us so many speeches about how hard our mom works and to take up the chores because we need to protect her. I’ve asked her about her experience of giving birth with my dad there. And she said after my first little brother was born, she was telling my dad I don’t think I can push the second out. He whispered in her ear, you can do it. You’re so strong. I’m so proud of you. Just keep going a little more. How you can’t find value in that is beyond me.
There isn't "Alpha" behavior. Alpha and Beta are more to do with pure genetics. No matter how you act, you can't be a 5'3 man with a hunchback and cant jump over a '24 box and claim "Alpha"
The first guys idea is "My wife's having a baby. All I need to do is call the ambulance and then go to sleep again", JUST cause "Women are better at taking care of other women"..... That's completely ludacris! I mean, you can still sit with her while you wait for the ambulance, you can take care of her, go to the hospital with her and wait outside the fuckin room she's in if that's the case. But just don't giving a piss more than a freakin CALL!? No bro. No. You shouldn't be a husband, and I don't think you should be a dad.
As a single dad the day my daughter was born was the greatest day of my life the feeling I got watching her birth has never been equaled... Energized completed .. there are no words. that guy is a fool and missing the best feelings/moment In life and doesn't know it.
That's a beautiful experience. Thanks for sharing 😊. ❤ Not to pry, but did you consider getting married at that time to the mother of your baby at that time so you'll can share many more beautiful miracles of watching your baby grow together? You sound like a family orientated man, wondering why you're a single dad.....
@@nicoobrowner long story short... Baby mom is not a good person and I knew right away the onus was going to be all on me got full custody before she turned 2 ... She's in her 30s now and my 6 yr old grandson is watching tv with me atm so it all worked out.
@@coryaronson2678 Wow. Thanks so much for sharing your story! I am happy things worked out in the end for you and your family. You were very strong. What a blessing! 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 ✨️ 💖
As a mom, its never bothered me when people are adamantly against having children. Its quite a lot and a huge lifestyle change. Especially if you have no family around you (like us) that you cant utilize for any sort of a mental break. What bothers me is when people tote being child free as a flex as though they are better than those of us that do have kids. Ive been called selfish by the aggressively child free people because the only reason some of them think people have kids is to have a "mini me" or to have someone to care for me at the end of my life. None of which are true. Sure there are bad parents but most of us certainly dont put our lives and interests on hold, disrupt our youthful bodies, and manage the constant responsibility that it is to care and nurture another human because we're only thinking of ourself.
Which is hilarious. Because presumably, it will be our kids, taking care of THEM at the the end of their lives, in geriatric living and hospital wards, slogging away on minimum wage and lack of support and resources because of population collapse - because they won’t have any children of their own to love and invest in them. They will be relying on the investment and responsibility and sacrifice of those of us who had children, to carry the burden of a collapsing welfare system.
What's crazy, is that in some cases, the people who don't want children are the ones being selfish (like you said, they feel their lives would be put on pause, their own interests would be pushed aside, etc.). Those that have called you selfish for WANTING children, probably are just projecting their own feelings onto you, because deep down they know that they are probably being the selfish ones for not wanting to have a child. That being said, it is true that if one doesn't want to have a child, one doesn't have to. It doesn't necessarily make you selfish for not wanting a child. But, most of the reasons as to why people don't want children, do seem to be very "me" focused and selfishly constructed. Then again, that's just my own two cents. Others may see the focus on oneself to be noble, and not selfish.
The reason that I never wanted children is because I couldn't guarantee that child's happiness or well-being. Mental illness runs in my family and I would never want to burden someone with that who didn't ask to be born. That, coupled with the fact that there are enough humans in the world were my top reasons for being childfree. If I ever want a child I will definitely foster and go on to adopt.
True. Having kids doesn’t define peoples whole life. The majority of the geniuses had kids as well as the majority of serial killers and addicts. People who might have or might not have kids lose jobs and have successful careers, die of preventable diseases or have healthy and balanced lifestyle, watch tv and surf the web for 8 hours straight or have numerous hobbies and activities. Just like short, tall, skinny, fat, young and old people.
I went with midwives with my second and third kid. Third was an unmedicated VBAC that my husband coached me through. He was THE MOST important part of my support. Kid came out so fast that there were no nurses or midwife in the room when she was born. My husband caught her and gave me amazing encouragement through the 50 seconds of pushing that happened.
I was there for both my children's births. Saw my wife's guts on the first go. It's not as scary or terrible as some may think. Remember, they aren't ripping the kid out of you. Maybe be a bit more sympathetic to what your partner is going through. The least you can do is sit there and hold her hand.
My first child was a normal birth. The next two were c sections, and I seen parts of my wife that I never thought I would see. I was in the room holding her hand for all 3. Now she's my ex-wife and I'm paying child support. I should have went to the bar instead 😆🤣
About the guy who doesn't want children. I was this guy for most of my life. I saw my parents, relatives, and neighbours all not enjoying parenthood. Not enjoying being parents. I heard horror stories about labour, and it all made me think having children was this horrible thing, but also I didn't know a good reason to have them. Until! Until I found a love so strong at the age of 29, I suddenly knew what it was all about. Now I have a family and am so happy I got this opportunity I never thought I would have. And having a child is very taxing, but also rewards you with a love you couldn't imagine you were capable of feeling. So I totally get both sides, and I definitely think it's wise to wait with children until you find the right person.
@JohnAnderson-ev3lp interestingly enough I had the good boys before. 😆 Didn't work out. My man is quite a bad boy, but he's awesome to me and our kid, so...
Suuuure, he's a "bad boy". Right up until you snub his advances one too many times and he'll step out on your ass and into a strange woman's bed. Don't act surprised, if and when it happens, @@tinca66
True, and I'd like to add - it is not lack of wisdom or maturity to admit that you are too exhausted and too weak to go through parenthood, after life of trauma and forced adulthood at young age. Some people started their adult life at age 10, and some at age 30. Those who started it at age 10 will be exhausted at age 30. They will not want to go through it again. Some person (let's say Tyler) is 30 years old and just starting his life, just started working and taking care of things. Some people have been molested at age 6, thinking how to feed themselves at age 9, working at age 11, taking care of their siblings at age 14. They have already been through adult life and they just want to rest now. If you don't understand this, you are the one without wisdom.
I remember the moment that my husband realized we had a child. During the pregnancy he just didn't seem as in it. I mean he was a fantastic partner and we did all the Lamaz stuff and everything but it just didn't seem like it was that real to him. Of course it was for me because I felt everything. But after my daughter was born, she was over on her incubator table and the nurses had walked away to do a couple of things and my husband walked over to her. He put his finger down around where her little hand was and she reached up and grabbed his finger and held on to it and I saw his whole body sag. That moment it's like something snapped in him. And they were best friends from then on. He got the nickname baby hog because whenever anyone would come to see one of our babies, I'd have to pry them out of his hands because he never wanted to let them go. He changed diapers, gave baths, got puked on, took them to doctor's appointments and everything that a good dad does. He's honestly the best dad ever and everyone has the most respect for him. He's coached their little league teams and soccer teams and always does fun things with the kids when The Neighbor kids come over to play. Everyone just adores him and I just can't say how much I love and respect him. I am so proud to be his wife
This is so beautiful. And the way you wrote it paints a vivid picture, too. I wish for many more years of love and happiness together, as well as good health!!
I asked my husband what he thought about not being in the delivery room with me(we have a 14 month old daughter and pregnant with our second baby) he said he would “fight whoever and break whatever he had to to be in there with me.” ❤ men naturally have an instinct to be close and protect his wife/children. That guy has a screw loose for sure!
I remember when my ex best friend was in labour with my ex bfs baby (they were dating at the time and I wasn’t really shocked by the way I saw him treat me and others) and his mom had to text me and tell me she was alone in the room and he refused to come and was just hanging out at home with takeout. I immediately messaged her, we didn’t make up as friends but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let her be in labour by herself! That’s when you need all the love and support. It should feel like a natural instinct to be in there! I know for a fact that my partner will be in the room with me, he’ll never hear the end of it if he’s not 😂
@ You’re a good person. He’s definitely got some real issues. I don’t understand how sometimes biological instincts gets overridden by stupid/crazy. It’s really sad.
Mom of five here. I've had both male and female doctors, and male and female midwives. I can only speak to my own experiences but some of the women were very dismissive of my concerns, especially with my first birth. They seemed to have lost that sense of mystery and almost reverence of birth that my male attendants retained. One nurse at our first birth actually said, "What do you mean you're surprised at how much it hurts? It's LABOR. What did you expect?" The men were definitely more, "What can we do to help you?" Don't rule out a male birth professional just because he's a guy. He could be a great fit for you.
This. 100% this. I had all female nurses and it took 24 hours for them to admit that I was in labor. They kept telling me that these were false contractions, that I was "too sensitive" and that "REAL contractions are 10 000× worse".... I was 4 cm dilated when they finally checked me and confirmed that I was giving birth. I think it's more of a hospital staff vs Birth center staff thing and not a man vs woman thing. Hospital births are a good thing because of the epidural, but that's about it. They don't care about you as a person nor your birthing experience. They just want you alive and out of there ASAP.
@@hypnoteapot All of my births were in hospitals . I'm sure there are many variables at play here. I'm sorry we both experienced some negativity from our med staffs during a stressful but still special time.
My ex was like the first guy when it came to childbirth. He was definitely more of a hindrance than a help. Hospital staff expects you to bring your own help, so you are SOL if the people you bring with you to the hospital don't actually want to help. The first guy is a *big* red flag because that attitude carries into the rest of the relationship. A guy who doesn't want to be supportive of childbirth is not going to be supportive of childcare, pregnancy, career, chores, etc., etc., etc. It was easy to divorce my ex because he made it clear time after time that he never cared about me or the kids and he wasn't about to start. I was already living like a single mom, I just reduced the number of children I had to care for by 1.
@@thecoedbutcher52 It was an unplanned pregnancy while on the pill during my first ovulation after marrying him. Guess I was dumb for not murdering my baby. Toxic victim blamers on the internet ☕
There are so many things that could go wrong. Mid labor I passed out and needed my husband to help make decisions I couldn’t. That’s just an awful partner. Imagine being told you need an emergency c section and you’re alone. My kid knew her dad’s voice and made eye contact with him the first moments of her life.
My husband was with me through my seven labors and deliveries and for one of them he was accidentally the ONLY one there with me. For someone with no knowledge, education or outside interest in birth, he did everything I needed from him and helped me so much. Mostly he just held my hand. It makes a big difference.
Did the 'no doctor' thing with our second. I know childbirth isn't about me, but I was SO scared. Our daughter was preemy and I thought both were dying right there by the side of the road. She's still small, but healthy. I love them so much.
@@KyleeAMpeople have 7 kids all the time lol. My best friends mom had 8, my husband's sister has 6 kids. Some people want a big family. I would if I could😢
@@Ashlyn267 My grandmother was one of 8, and me one of 4, but I can't even imagine giving birth to 4 kids, much less 7. I haven't ever been pregnant (I'm only 18) but It sounds crazy painful, and to have 7 kids is just insane
Lol. I so very much relate! Every single one of the medical personnel left the room two minutes before our #8 made his abrupt entrance into the outside world!
I am 55, single, never married, no kids, no real romantic relationships, honestly. And that is exactly the way I have always liked it. I dated for so many years, hating every moment of it, until one day I decided to stop doing things I do not enjoy simply to please everyone else. I've been so happy ever since. Yes, I live for myself, and despite being 100 percent pro-life, would absolutely have resented a husband and a child because I am a loner by nature, so I did the right thing and sat those institutions out. I feel if you know in your heart you cannot devote yourself to a child - or a spouse - you are morally obligated to not become a parent. My mother and my grandmother were of those generations of women pushed into marriage - both at 19 years old - and neither had any trouble letting all the kids in the family know how much they hated us for existing. That taught me young to avoid motherhood and wifedom. And don't anyone feel sad for me - I LOVE living alone, and interacting when I choose to, not because I have to. No regrets at all, and I really think it's pathetic how feminists hate men so much but are absolutely obsessed with having relationships with them. I am not a feminist or a man-hater, but girls, there is so much more to life than dating. I wish more young women understood this. We would have less abortions, less abused children, waaay less drama, and a lot more happiness.
You know what, I've been living with that "societal" stress a long time, wondering wtf was with me, rarely getting into relationships or when I did, not having them for too long. Not being asexual either, I do have those needs to, but often watching people living in couple and not really being thrilled by the idea. Actually a loner too and was dreading the day I'd have to learn to live together with a partner. Well as I start growing a bit older, I can see I'm not the only one, and it's not a huge deal not to be a "relationship person". Maybe it's just how some of us do want to live our lives. Been told once I'm an "omega male" whatever that means lol. Kudos for acknowledging it and living by your standard :)
@@visnoga5054 Hey, thanks! Usually I just get dragged when I say that. I really think relationships are not the be-all end-all. Glad you're happy too, don't listen to the naysayers 👍
My husband at first didn't want to be inside the labor room during my c-section. He doesn't like hospitals and told me he would be waiting for me outside. But in the end, he went with me and said he had no regrets. It was really amazing to have our photo together right after our daughter was born
The first UK guys let me down. 19 year old from London here & I couldn’t imagine leaving my wife alone whilst she’s in labour. Guess I’m the last of a dying breed 🤷♂️ Gentlemen are becoming extinct.
I’ve had both male and female OB’s and the male was way more compassionate and understanding and willing to listen to me. I was having gallbladder issues and my female OB told me to suck it up, and when I switched providers, my new OB was like we need to book an operating room tomorrow.
I have a male OB and I don't plan on changing anytime soon. I had a woman in my workplace who wouldn't accommodate my sickness while pregnant. She literally said "I was fine when I was pregnant, she will be too."
I've also heard the same thing about police officers who interview women who've been SA'd. I'm glad you finally got an empathetic doctor; sometimes it seems they're hard to come by.
The hardest part of my delivery experience was when I was wheeled in for an emergency c-section and my husband wasn't allowed in while I was being put under. That was the loneliest and scariest time. I couldn't imagine wanting that for the whole thing. I'm glad he was there when my son was born though, because I didn't meet my son till a couple hours later when I woke up.
I had an emergency c-section also, my husband and I were both terrified. They wouldn’t let my husband in for what seemed like forever. Thankfully we got a doula and she was allowed to scrub in and was there for every second. As soon as he could my husband held my hand the entire time. Although I will say there was a young nurse that held my hand and was so kind and comforting until my doula then my husband came in
My cousin and her son nearly died during the birth of her son. Her husband had to go with the baby to the NICU to make decisions while my cousin needed emergency surgery and 37 blood transfusions. She was in a coma for days. They both lived thank the Lord. Who makes the decisions while the husband is in the Fing pub???
I was wondering if you were my SIL's cousin. IDENTICAL story. So traumatic all around. Thankfully, years later, they had one more child and the birth was so healing with how perfectly it went.
I had to be in surgery while my wife was having a cesarean because my daughter was only 23 weeks and my wife’s blood pressure was sky high. My wife and daughter almost died during surgery and I am glad I was there, especially if the unthinkable had happened. My wife was awake the entire time and I was there to quell her fear. I had to push my down my fear and be there for my wife and daughter.
She really needed that, I promise you. I lost my son at 23 weeks, my partner wasn’t there bc he was with the woman he cheated on me with. Then when he finally got there, he blamed me and accused me of doing something to hurt my baby bc of all the craziness. The doctor overheard and came to my defense. She said they can tell if something deliberate had happened to harm our son, but the only thing that impacted my pregnancy was stress. He left me at the hospital, and I never saw him again. I’m so much better off today! I’ve got 2 sons and an amazing husband who adores me. We get to where we’re meant to be, eventually.
Yes, to each their own is an excellent motto for this and most online discourse. It's okay to find fulfillment outside of developing a family, instead building up your work, your community, your world. One person's happiness is not everyone else's journey, and we shouldn't be criticize them as being lesser humans simply for not wanting kids. I think kids are precious and beautiful, but I think allowing someone to know themselves and choose their path has more value, and I don't consider it sad at all for a person to find happiness in something I don't.
20:38 That guy's "Beta Speech" was literally like those video rollercoasters that don't actually go anywhere. Lots of word, talking loud and saying NOTHING. 😂
I can't even count on both my hands and feet how many times I've been told " You'll never find a man that doesn't want kids" or " You're selfish for not wanting kids" or "You'll change your mind" and people don't realize how much these things hurt and affect those of us that don't want kids. It's constantly in the back of my mind that I'll never find a life partner, and I think it's been a root cause for a lot of my more feminine troubles. The idea that a woman wont feel fulfilled if she doesn't have kids perpetuates a lot more negative than one would assume. I think what it comes down to is that everyone should live for something bigger than themselves, and that can be many different things to many different people. I think that as long as you are living your life in a way that betters the world around you while simultaneously doing what you love, you will be fulfilled. My dream is to create music that inspires others. I've had a lot of struggles throughout my life, and if I can put music into the world that makes at least 1 person realize that life is worth living, then I will be fulfilled. I personally don't want children and I 've never desired childbirth. BUT If I were to ever be at a point in my life where I wanted a child, I'd adopt. It just doesn't seem fair to bring a baby into a world that's falling apart, when there's so many children out there who are forced to go through life alone. I understand the sentiment of having your own biological children, but I rather give an already existing child a chance to know what unconditional love is and to see that the world is kind. Adoption is expensive, yes, but I know that if I am able to afford it I will be at a point in my life where I am capable and ready to give them the best life possible. [ PS: Show older kids in the adoption system some love, God knows they need it. ]
Or the selfish one: Who is going to take care of you when you're old? I know plenty families who don't talk anymore and die alone. Luckily my parents didn't care for grandchildren, so they never pushed the idea. I think I missed out on some great guys because of the no children, but I couldn't imagine having one ever. A man with children, perhaps, if I really love him and him me, as long as he doesn't want me to be a fulltime mother for them. It does hurt and make me uncomfortable if someone tries to convince me. It will never work. But I'm already 38 anyway, for me the cut off is 35 for a woman, a child needs young parents and the older you get the more risks could be involved with the health of the mother or/and baby.
Come on amala there are dates where you plan on dating and marring a girl and there are dates where you plan on hooking up there is a different it's nothing wrong but I understand that you as a woman you would fine this weird and bad but remember that woman do this more than men but men know when it's time to find a wife and when it's time to hook up I hope you understand
Hi Amala and Taylor! Your biggest Aussie fan here. Just a point on the guy at the end in relation to not having kids. As someone who doesn't want kids myself I don't particularly view it the way the guy in the video describes or the way you both see it. I have a kind of a different perspective. Like while work and kids may be the source of others fulfilment, I feel and gain a great sense of fulfilment from the relationships I already have. I hate the idea that not having kids would make me selfish. I really hope it doesn't, I just gain a sense of purpose for caring for those already in my life such as my parents, family, friends or my long term partner. Hopefully you see my comment as I always miss your live streams, I'm hanging out for the day I can make a super chat! Thanks for the quality entertainment/education guys! ❤
Taylor nailed it with the joy and fulfillment of children and how responsibility is what makes life fulfilling and no greater responsibility than creating and nurturing a life
I would never have the energy for a child, let alone be fulfilled. I hope everybody with children feels the way he describes, but I cannot see it for myself. I rather spend my little energy on doing fun stuff or getting through the workday and relax at night.
The clothes guy, I agree and disagree. Every man should own a suit, and be able to dress up. Baggy clothes aren't always appropriate, but tbh, even if its "baggy" if the fit goes hard, and it's an appropriate setting, absolutely wear it.
Every dude could own a suit if they weren’t super fucking expensive for a quality tailored suit. In my area it’ll be like 400 for a decent tailored suit
Same. As for the two outfits shown, the first one was weird, but the second was a super nice casual outfit. I do however love a man dressed up in a suit. ♥️
It’s not a lack of wisdom to decide against having children. It takes wisdom to know that doing something just because it’s what’s expected of you may not actually be what’s right for you, or to know that you couldn’t provide a child with what they need to be happy.
exactly. that was a pretty bad take, and shows the lack of wisdom that people who choose to have children may have. It's a lot more than just "I want a kid because it fulfills ME," you have to consider if you can provide that child with everything they need and make sure you set them up for success.
Just the amazing ability that a woman can recreate another Human Being is to be Celebrated. Being beside my wife for the Birth of my Two Daughters is far beyond anything else that can possibly happen to me. One of the worst possible things that ever happened to me was that it took a Stroke to wipe those amazing events from my Memories, but Thank God my wife was able to explain to me with tears in her eyes that yes I was there. Have a Great Evening from a Stroke Survivor from Canada.
Having my husband there during labor was the most helpful. He was so supportive and of course was so excited to see our daughter the moment she was born.
Im a woman and I have 3 children, and i gave birth alone each time. The first time around it wasnt a choice, although my husband wasnt that keen on witnessing a birth anyway - my baby was premature and i had to be emergency flown across my country because there wasnt a neonatal ICU space in my local hospital. The second and third time i chose not to have anyone there as i felt comfortable with being alone having already done it the first time and my husband stayed home with the older children. He came to the hospital after the birth. I'm honestly glad i did it alone, its such a vulnerable and humbling experience and i didn't need the pressure of having someone else in the room, im very introverted though so this is just what worked for me.
@pia-olefa Like Amala said, as you and your husband seem to have discussed it before hand, it seems like it was the best choice for you! However, the difference is knowing that, if you needed him, he would be there to support you, unlike the husband in the first clip who actively took measures to ignore her and her pain. Much love ❤
I get that. For my last birth just 5 weeks ago, I said I kind of just wanted to labor like an animal - alone in a dark cave somewhere 😂 The fewer people around the better
When it comes from the woman giving birth herself, that's something else. Also, he doesn't need to be in the room, he could just wait outside or in the lobby etc.
It was your request and he wasn't in bar or something, he was with your children. It still a type of support to let you go through birth in peace knowing that everything beside taken care of.
That alpha motivational speaker 😅 i had a friend who was into those sort of talks so I've heard a lot of them and honestly the thing i took away once you throw out all the macho/alpha talk is 'take ownership of yourself and your choices', which i think is a good point about encouraging people to take charge of their life, if your unhappy make changes, make different choices cause you are in control of your life. Don't be a beta = don't be a victim and let stuff happen to you, take the acrion to be different or change the situation. Just the people who do those talks are usually a$$ holes 😂 and dont get the message across well. Thanks for coming to my ted talk lol
I agree with your points. The reason most are azholes is because they make decisions that benefit themselves only, they go too far down the rabbit hole and lose compassion for all others and become narcissists.
The only reason why my husband wasn't with me when I delivered was he was overseas at the time. That kind of reason is basically the only reason I will accept in this day and age.
I could see having him not be in the room if he really doesn't do well with blood and stuff but he should still be at the hospital outside the door at least.
@@iPhailepically Yes, I'm already planning on helping my brother in law with his fiance when they have kids. I have never seen someone who gets woozy just from a simple description of needles etc. Poor guy will 1000% faint in the delivery room haha
I feel like in general women would be better at 'helping' during labor, but that's not why women want their man there in the first place. They just want the man to be there for emotional support, just to hold their hand so they know you're there for them, that's it. And obviously so he can see his child being born of course.
The last guy talking about the mother and grandmother being unhappy about being mothers...I can relate to that so much. The men in their lives were not the best supporters nor the best parents and they as a result (my mother moreso) had to pick up most of the labour at home and became resentful even though she loved my father. I was told a lot that she wished she never had kids (she was the one who wanted kids before and planned us) and went to college. That I should either find a rich man or don't have kids at all. She felt very unappreciated and always had to be the bad guy, doing all of the work, etc. Looking back I was a pretty lazy kid who followed what my dad did and didn't understand what my mom was really saying.
I can't imagine my mother saying she wished she didn't have kids. I do it all too, am divorced, have a disabled adult daughter and another teen at home. My eldest will live with me forever. Yes it's hard and I get resentful sometimes of the situation I'm in. But I just use the situation to try to find ways to get some opportunities for myself to get recharged. If I had to do it all again, I would do it all again because God wanted these kids here and He chose me to be their mother. So it's an honor and a privilege even when the well is dry and I'm tapped out. I had crappy parents, very self centered ones, and I live each day trying to do and be better. Right there I am changing the trajectory of my family line for the better. Maybe instead of we women getting resentful, we choose to take on a different attitude. I used to be a pessimist and now I'm not, solely through the decision to not be one
@@BusinessSkrub I don't use tik tok. I had a mother who worked and did all the labour at home. She had expected and told my father that if she were to have kids, she wanted to be a stay at home mom. That never happened cuz my dad's rage had him lose jobs, but he never helped at home until he became disabled. But the first 16 years of my life my mother was depressed (she also had 2 pregnancies fail with the twins dying a day after birth). My mother had an emotional life with a lot of loss and to feel appreciated and helped by my father would have alleviated some of her pain. My father wasn't horrible. His parents beat him. He had unresolved issues and anger from his childhood. It always got in the way. He couldn't be the best him he could have been for our family. I have the same rage so I understand. It doesn't change the fact that as a result, my mother told me these things. She would not be the only mother who told her daughter not to follow the same life she did. She wanted more than depression for her children. Of course I didn't listen, but I unfortunately have relationships with some shitty men along the way. One I have to share my firstborn with. Thankfully I've ended up with someone wonderful but it took me until 30 to find him.
@@minagelina I think it's the circumstances of your upbringing that decided this. If your parents were shitty then you of course would not want to be that way with your kids. I am proud of you. Idk if I could have done it all alone.
I've heard this before and my heart goes out to you honey. Men and women will go into relationships and feel underappreciated and then it eats them up inside. They end up passing that sentiment down to their kids but it's important that there's plenty of beautiful things to look forward to in life. There's not many good men and women out there but it doesn't mean it's impossible to find a man who will adore you only and bring you peace and support. I hope your mother found peace and I'm sure she always loved you ❤
@@JazzyJuniper Both of my parents have passed away unfortunately... We found notes from my mother saying how much she wanted to give up (menopause made her puke daily). She did love us but I don't think she ever recovered from my twin brothers dying at birth... But yes it's definitely something that was passed down and I'm sure many other women went through the same thing with their mothers and fathers, resulting in the world ("I need no man!") we have today. You find out too late too that as a girl you tend to find traits in boys that are your dad's. It's a sad thing if you only go for the bad traits. Don't get me wrong. I love my father greatly. I got along with him better.
My dad missed my birth only bc by the time he dropped my mom off, parked the car, and made his way up, i was already out lmao But i would hate myself for leaving my wife to have OUR child by herself while i go and SLEEP at home 🙄🙄🙄 Like, sir, do you even WANT kids???
My experience with the female OB was that she was always "right" and was very dismissvive of my symptoms. Half way through, I went to a male OB who did a better job monitoring me. He put me on iron and that fixed most of the problems. He noticed when my sodium was low and I needed fluids. He delivered my baby safely when I developed preeclampsia. All three of my babies have been delivered via c-section by male doctors. The third time, a female doctor came in so that the male doctor could prepare for his next delivery and she did my stitches. That was the only time I ever had stitches open back up. Male doctors have always just been more willing to try to make me comfortable through everything and listen to me. Needless to say, I prefer having male OBs at this point.
Same for me. I’ve had several OB/GYN’s in my life, the men were BY FAR the better doctors for me. Far more sensitive and gentle and caring and professional. Far more. I’ve had 3 kids, after the 1st with a woman doctor I said never again. Just my experience. God bless 🙏🏽
You made an EXCELLENT point. I studied social work, and we have found evidence from women that female doctors often do not believe a patient who is female really has cramps or bloating or whatever is female she came in to complain about if the female doctor has never experienced that symptom herself. A MALE will assume the woman patient knows how her body works and feels, since he does not have those symptoms as he isn’t female, he believes her cries for help, and offers sympathy and gives her treatments to help her feel better. Your story is one of many. I hope other young girls/ladies will read what you said before they get attached to the idea of only females helping them.
That first guy wasn't blessed enough to witness the birth of his child. No amount of money or regret is ever going to bring back that moment. On the other hand, given his crappy attitude, his wife might have preferred his absence.
Dang, that last TikTok was downright bone-chilling for me… Loved your story about your dad, Taylor, he sounds like he is a wonderful father, which makes sense because he raised you 🤗 As I get older and the notion of becoming a mother becomes less and less lofty and far-off… yeah, I do get a bit nervous at this idea of having to put another life (several other lives, God willing) above my own… it feels very daunting but when you said that it just clicked for your dad when he stopped fighting it and went all-in on being a father… dang, that really encouraged me 🩷
I’m 23 and pregnant with my first (planned) and as excited and happy as I am, you just don’t feel ready 😂 like I know I’m “ready” but you feel this doubt of “am I going to do this right” and then I remember all I can do is my best and what I can as time passes and my child grows.
My husband supported me through the birth of both of our children: at home, unmedicated, and the second time with our toddler along to witness. It was truly the best support I could ever wish for, and the midwife is there to catch signs of a complication, not provide the bulk of emotional and physical support. Plus, my husband caught our second child and it's an unparalleled experience. He's beyond proud to have been there!
@@casebased8391 It's more normal than people realize. I'm trying to tell you.Especially when you're on college, alot of times people don't have a legit reason to take them seriously and also you can't negotiate physical attraction 🤷♂
As a dad of two... of course women are better at assisting in labor, and i knew when my wife went through this process not to indulge myself too much into the situation... But just "being there" is basics, leave it for the nurses too do what needs to be done, but just be there to show your support. Leaving your wife alone in any hard or important situation is careless, and red flag is a understatement.
my ex abandoned me as soon as he found out I was pregnant. I was a high risk pregnancy because I have brittle bone disease (Osteogenesis Imperfecta) and there was a high risk of both me AND the child dying during childbirth. I had my daughter alone in a hospital room, not knowing where we were going to go once she was here because we were homeless at the time BECAUSE he abandoned us. Yeah, that was the experience I had with my last birth. Then 3 years later he decides he suddenly wants to be a part of our lives after the hardest part of child rearing was over.
I have so much hatred for men who suddenly want to become a parent after the most difficult part of raising a child is done. The laziness and entitlement and overall jackassery infuriates me.
@@Daniel-yl5jl1bi6q yeah. But he paints ME out to be the bad guy in all this. He literally left me for another woman, left me knocked up with his kid, left us to fend for ourselves literally on the streets for 3 freaking years, yet I'm the bad guy. Lol I'm only bad in his eyes because I got pregnant. I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant according to my doctors after everything I had been through. Ruptured uterus and ovaries cancer. Yet somehow... Nature found a way yet I am the bad guy for that. *Sigh.
I had extremely high risk pregnancies. My last pregnancy I had to move in with my parents and 2 year old to be on bed rest and near the hospital my highrisk doctor was at. My husband stayed 40 miles away at our home. On Wednesdays my mom, daughter, and I would drive to my house and we would clean (me sitting on the couch folding clothes) and my mom doing everything else. Then my husband would be able to see our daughter. On the weekends he would come stay at my parents. Was it ideal? No, but we did it because I was on bedrest and had appointments 3 times a week. It was also emotionally stressful because I was so fearful of going into labor and my husband not getting there in time. We both knew it was a possibility but hoped for the best. Thankfully when I did go into early labor my husband happened to be at my parents' house. Our little one was born 6 weeks early, was healthy and got to come home with us 5 days later. That baby will be 13 soon. And while we would have got over if my husband wasnt able to be there for the delivey, we are so happy he was. I wanted him there to support me. And I wanted our babies to see him first and be held by both parents right away.
I couldnt imagine my husband not being there for the birth of our son! Nor could he. And aside from the obvious joy of seeing his child born, it was such a bonding experience for the two of us. Most amazing moment of our lives ❤
My husband couldn't come with me for my emergency C-section because he had to watch our older child. It was by far my worst delivery. It was a very traumatic experience and I know it would have gone better if he could have been in the room with me. He clipped the umbilical for our first child, and our third. He was right by my side for those two, and I'm forever grateful for that.
It's not about "women are better at helping other women give birth"... It's about witnessing your child's first breath, first enter into the world, first glance at your child's life! You build more of a connection with your baby if you gone through that and get to hold your baby as soon as the baby comes out. This guy is totally missing the point. But if I did have my partner's support giving birth, it would be nice too!
The fact that the first guy isn’t even vaguely worried. Many many things can go wrong during childbirth even in this day and age. Even if you aren’t in the room at the same time you would think you would feel at least some type of anxiety, stress, or general anticipation.
As far as the last video about having children goes, I absolutely agree with the sentiment of not having children if you don’t feel a deep calling to raise a family. A couple of those comments from that particular video remind me of things I’ve heard from my own mom about her decision to have kids and her regrets about it and it’s a big part of the reason I don’t want children as of yet (I’m 29) but I plan on freezing my eggs this year just incase I change my mind because I know that day may very well come, but I think a very large part of the reason a lot of women and mothers feel this way about having children is because they either have fathers who worked a lot and weren’t helpful with household/child rearing duties or have a husband like that who doesn’t lend much help. They say it takes a village to raise a child and I think there’s a lot of truth to that statement. My dad was a great father to my brother and I growing up but he did work a lot and his job is a physically taxing one so I understand why he wasn’t eager to put in work when he gets home and he always prioritized time with my brother and I when he was home from work to help us with homework because my mom got her time with us during the day and his time was after work but my moms shift never ended like his did. Even when he was helping us with homework so she didn’t have to she didn’t get a break, she was in the kitchen prepping and cooking dinner or making his lunch for the next day or washing his coveralls so he’d have them for work the next day and she had no help. Despite the rewards that motherhood can bring I think it can be a very isolating and thankless job while also being the hardest job a person could have. Being a true home maker and raising children without any help whatsoever is something that can drain the life from a person if they lose themselves in it because they never feel like they can have w moment that’s theirs and everybody deserves at least a few hours a week to themselves to do the things they enjoy that fulfilled them before they were a parent a father always has his job to give him a sense of individuality and purpose outside of his family but the family still benefits from it and I think mothers should have enough help to be able to foster something in their lives that give them the same sense of individuality and purpose that doesn’t necessarily exist within their family unit but I guarantee it would benefit the family just the same. I think having creative hobbies that aren’t too involved are a super great way for mothers to keep something for them. When my mom had hobbies she seemed to enjoy being a mother much more than she did after she gave them up. The change in her attitude towards motherhood and her motherly duties was palpable even as a pre teen.
His voice alone... why would anybody want to listen to that? I had a hard time even trying to understand what he was saying, because his voice is so annoying.
Watching these now is making me even happier than I had stopped watching those women vs men podcast it was really conditioning me. Now I love men and woman and see us as equally valuable instead of some competition.
Just because a woman doesn't have fulfillment in giving birth doesn't mean they're selfish. Some of us, including myself, want to adopt instead. Not to mention that I want to dedicate my life to helping people. Making donations or making others' lives easier gives me fulfillment. Nothing wrong with women who want to give birth either. They're doing their part in society just as I am and we should respect and encourage each other. Of course, there are women who are very selfish by wanting to party all the time instead of making society better whether it's through motherhood and/or going into the workforce to provide for others. Trad wives get crapped on so much despite the fact that they can still have businesses and still absolutely be traditional! A compassionate and loving woman is a strong woman.
You want children, but you are only willing to adopt instead of giving birth. You defend traditional wives by saying that they can have businesses which means providing goods and services to strangers. You seem to value serving and caring for strangers over those of your own flesh and blood. Do you only value yourself when you can be of service to strangers?
@@PaulLeEtudiant They're providing for society as a whole whether they just take care of their kids or have a business while parenting. It doesn't make blood relations any less, but the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water in the womb. Not saying a child doesn't hold top priority, because they definitely do whether they're of blood or not. There are kids who are rejected by their parents or their parents weren't able to provide for them, so I would love to give them a family they never had. They would still be considered my children and top priority even if they came from someone else. Having a business or going out and donating to charity doesn't mean putting strangers above family. There are priorities, but it's possible to do both and teach your children about the value of compassion as well as earning skills. My mother once owned a small business and through it, she taught me about soapmaking, candlemaking, sewing, etc. It's a nice way to get your kids involved and even pique their interest in certain areas of study like math and science.
@@etainvelorum5814 If you could not have children due to biological reasons, then it would be understandable. Based on your previous statements you chose to not conceive, because you would not gain fulfillment from giving birth and nurturing your own children. But you gain fulfillment from nurturing children who have been abandoned or rejected by their parents. You are fulfilled by nurturing those who have been abandoned or rejected e.g. homeless folks who have been abandoned by society, and children who were rejected by their parents. Nurturing individuals who have been abandoned or rejected is more important to you than nurturing your own children. Where is this coming from? Were you abandoned or rejected by someone in the past?
@@PaulLeEtudiant I've never been abandoned or rejected. I'm not sure how you came to that, but there's nothing wrong with adoption or helping others despite not having blood relation. 🤨 I've always dreamed of adopting just as my parents did. There are multiple reasons as to why people would adopt such as if they're older and therefore want an older child, or want an instant family without the fear of complications from pregnancy or they may may want to provide that experience and love to children who didn't have it before. Sometimes they don't want to pass certain genetics down either whether it involves physical or mental illnesses. The gender of the child can also be an important factor. For myself, I love to provide for others and, even though I've never engaged in risky or addictive behavior, I don't want to pass on my genetics. Every child deserves loving parents. I wouldn't mind marrying someone who already has kids too. Baby, toddler, teenager, etc. Doesn't matter too much to me. Although the younger they are, the more often they are adopted.
As to having a male or female OB, I've had both and I was happy with both. They were both great doctors who cared and ensured the health of my children and myself, so what you really need is a good doctor in general.
When I had my last child, the pain meds they gave me muddled my brain, and I couldn't understand anything that was being said to me, but I understood my husband. It would have been a horrible experience without him there.
Imagine something going wrong and your infant or wife being alone and unable to get ahold of you. With my second child he was rushed to nicu and I was sent to post partum Ward if my hubby had not been there I would have spent the 4 hours they were stabilizing him doing surgical procedures ect. Having nurses fly in and out with papers to sign you might not physically be able to support but emotionally you can
I had my daughter in non ideal circumstances. I live a hard life because i chose to have her but never for a second could i ever resent her. In fact, i almost live through her. She brings perspective to me in ways i couldnt see and i feel so overjoyed when im able to provide things that i couldnt have as a kid. I just cant fathom the thought process of these women who feel this way
My first labor and delivery was as scary. If my husband had not been there, there’s a good chance our baby would have died. No one calms me down and convinces me that everything is okay the way that he does. Also, that baby ended up being born emergency C section. I was so very happy that he was there to hold our baby the second she was born, because I could not.
I feel like the cause of a lot of our first world problems is rooted in sayings like "what's in it for me?". It's all anyone seems to care about anymore, and it's completely eroding our human connections, our sense of community, and all the very things that bring us the most true fulfillment and joy. A little wisdom, perspective, and critical free thinking would go a long way.
Im not gonna front , if i were a women and i just had to push a another human out of me , BY MYSELF and you stumble in with beer breathe we gone have some problems!
He’s wrong that a man can’t help alleviate a woman’s pain. My husband went down to the hospital cafeteria and told the anesthesiologist to put down his fork and give me an epidural now. He did and saved me 30 minutes of agony. Ironically, that same child is now an anesthesiologist lol.
There’s stories of the dudes who dropped everything the second they heard their wife was in labor, who would’ve rather lost their limbs than not be there while their child was born… And then there’s these pathetic losers pretending to have anything going for them while admitting they cannot even be bothered to be their for the person they supposedly love.
I'm also DINK (dual income No kids), and being able to travel, save money, eat what we want, donate to causes, fund education, without having any anxiety over having responsibility for another person is great. I love love love kids, but I'll take care of my niece and nephews. While partying, traveling, sleeping or watching movies whenever I want. 😅
My mum was in labour with one of my siblings and my dad went across the road from the hospital and had a seafood feast. My mum loves telling that story!
My brother-in-law was on deployment and couldn’t be there for my sister. He tried so hard to get leave but couldn’t, meanwhile other people got emergency leave for lesser things but I digress. My sister really needed him there and my BIL was devastated that he couldn’t see the birth of his child and assist his wife. That guy had a choice and chose the wrong one. He has no idea what love is. Sad he’s a father with that attitude
I’m 59 never married no kids. Never felt maternal and frankly, was always afraid I wouldn’t do well if I had a kid who wasn’t smart or didn’t care about school. I don’t regret not having kids and never felt the need to find “fulfillment” or “meaning” in anything. I know you don’t understand this attitude shared by the commenters who were very honest about their experiences with motherhood. Since you don’t have kids, there’s a possibility you are romanticizing motherhood (including what you expect to get out of it) and may relate to the feelings of those commenters later, even if overall you’re still glad you have kids. So try to not accuse us of being selfish, aimless or self-centered going forward, ok?
Yes!! I feel like that's a flaw of many right-wing people. They act as if the only purpose in life in procreation, and if you don't do your part, you're worthless in this life. I, too, have no maternal instinct, and never have. That doesn't make me useless, that just means that my purpose in life is something other than being a parent.
I helped position my wife during labor before my daughter was born. Our baby was 10 pounds 6 ounces. I cant remember her exact length but I do recall my initial thought when she was finally delivered, "She is so long, she just keeps coming out" I then looked at my wife in awe that she delivered such a large baby, naturally. I had tears in my eyes and for the first time actually realized just how much my parents loved me. I have never loved them more. There is nothing like parental love. Nothing. I could never imagine not being in that room. It was the most important moment of my life. These guys are trash.
The 3rd guys pants were so so tight. And that is a huge pet peeve for me in fact I like a man in loose fitting clothing who's DRESSED but not doing too much
I know women who don’t want their man in the room for their deliveries because they feel that it’s a beautiful experience for women to have as women. My grandmother CANNOT FATHOM the idea of wanting a man in that room. But in all the cases I know, the father is awake and in the other room WAITING (and usually praying). Not at the bar, or resting. I could see not having him in the room, but the idea of him SLEEPING?!? Nah. Not for me.
I had very traumatic birth experiences (one stillbirth and one that was 1 push away from an emergency c section). I could not imagine not having my spouse there when I went through that
My husband was with me and it was so spiritual and beautiful. Honestly such an amazing experience. I had a cesarean (C-section) and despite being numbed the pulling and tugging from pulling the baby out felt like my actual life was being ripped out of me.. my eyes wide open I saw my husband looking down at me tears streaming down his face hearing him tell me how much he loves me... Truly an undescribable feeling.. feeling the fragility and beauty of love and life were like God showing himself to me. The moment my baby was placed into my arms and she's safe and beautiful and perfect and I could see the joy in his eyes pure relief flowed over my entire existence I got to watch him cut the chord and since that day I've loved him more then I ever even knew possible ❤
In response to the last guy about motherhood... I'll be honest. This conversation gets to me sometimes. I'm 30 and I've known since I was in my early twenties if not sooner that motherhood is not for me. Throughout that time in my life and even sometimes now, I have to listen to people tell me "Oh, you feel that way now, but just wait" or "Not having kids is selfish" or "Fine, if you really hate kids and want no meaning in your life"... These comments erk me to no end. It's not that I hate kids, or that I'm selfish, or want no meaning. I feel no desire to have children of my own. If being a step or foster parent comes to me later in life, I'll give it serious consideration, but I'm not going to go look for it. I'm tired of being made to feel like it makes me a bad person or even a bad woman to not want kids of my own. It amazes me that I've spent years trying to speak with doctors about having a hysterectomy (not just for birth control but other chronic health issues) and I can't get them to even have the conversation with me. It's always about them and how they don't want to sterilize me or what if I change my mind... Yet there are teenage girls cutting off their breasts because they feel like they're a man... and want to be accepted into society... It's ridiculous. I have NOTHING against women or men who want to be parents. It's a beautiful thing when that's a dream for someone and they get to see it fulfilled. But not all of us have that dream and feel that our fulfillment lies with parenthood. Can we please stop the unnecessary judgement.
To me the last guy is so based and so is your response. I'd probably be a great mom but it's not for me. I get a lot of fulfillment from my job, hobbies, pets, and other family. I think your response is based too, don't have a kid if you don't want one! PLEASE!
Childbirth is the most intimate experience you can go through with a partner/spouse. For me bringing my son into the world, with my partner holding my hand was the most magical thing I have ever experienced, and that includes the moment me and my partner made eye contact.
Not a man, but i had my second son 2 weeks ago. My epidural failed, pain meds failed and i ended up feeling everything. My sons heartbeat was plummeting everytime i contracted. Terrified doesnt explain the feeling. I couldnt imagine not having my partner there to support me. Didnt matter he couldnt help, i needed him there.
Wow you really went through it, glad he was there for you.
you‘re a champion
dnot call a man ur partner pls respect him
@@johnnywalker984 How is this disrespectful?
@@johnnywalker984 That's all you took from her comment? That's what's really disrespectful🙄
Most men in period pieces are waiting outside their wives labor rooms waiting to hear not only that they have a healthy child but that their wife survived.
And weren't men not allowed in labor rooms back then? Even if they wanted to be?
Most women died in 1800s if they had to go to hospital due to not washing hands. Germs killed them.
Most Americans had a doctor and/or midwife come to their house and only went if really had a bad birth to hospital.
@@music9521I was born in 1969, and no family was allowed in.
My dad went on a shooting holiday when I was being born back in 1951
Yeah, I don't know what period pieces he watched. The men in the pub were probably also thinking about the birth, not sleeping and using white noise to relax while your wife could be dieing 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Served 22 years in the Military and the only major regret I have is that I missed my child's birth. I can't imagine being proud of not being there for my wife.
No salute emoji, but good man.
@@manamejefffffffffffff9337🫡
I'm so lucky my husband was there for both times.... but a lot of our friends missed borths of their kids. One guy missed all 4 of his kids births... that happens when they deploy every other year.
This behavior toward women seems to be a huge Muslim thing
My husband deployed with my first baby. Had no idea how long they would be gone......you best believe I spoke freely with the first Sgt and the LT. I didn't get pregnant by myself and I'm not having this baby by myself. 😂 They gave me a certificate being funny of being the most effective and persuasive wife 😂😂. We had beers all together and they are still great friends of the family and now mentor that same baby in the Navy ❤
He very clearly doesnt care about his wife or child. He bragged about turning on a white noise machine so he couldnt hear anything after he sent her out... so if he got a call that something went wrong and his wife and child died, he literally abandoned them, AND willfully ignored them in their greatest time of need. And he brags about it. He obviously takes his family for granted. Very sad.
Sounds cultural
@@starfishrock It definitely is to some degree. Considering he’s on Ali Dawah’s show, I mean.
he has a record for DV so im not surprised. i hate that guy so much
@@starfishrock
But normally even if the guy’s not involved in the process, he would typically still be concerned.
He does know that the woman or the baby could die during this process, right?
"He bragged about turning on a white noise machine so he couldnt hear anything after he sent her out" ...like his wife's cry's of agony 💀 If that were me I wouldn't even come back, he could sleep for the rest of his life.
Oh it’s a no from me. Some men don’t go in the room, but there’s the classic image of them stressing and pacing outside the door. But he doesn’t sound like he even cares
@viviand16 that's a Lie Majoritie of Men are in the Room the day their child is born nothing more precious than seeing his seed enter the world
@darnellwilliams8783 Back in the old days men paced outside the room or stayed in the waiting area
@@CiaoColeG yeah Men stop doing that after 1986 Men in the 90s and 2000s were in the rooms stop the lies
@@CiaoColeG Men even held their wives hands
@@darnellwilliams8783 I just want to clarify some things here. 1) @viviand16 only said SOME men don't go in the room, that's not the majority. 2) Even now there are some men who stay right outside the room because it's possible they faint or aren't good with other's body fluids and get nausea. Some women find it difficult to concentrate when their husband faints and has doctors/nurses checking on him too. I think most men in the year 2024 would be in the room making sure she's supported but if she knows her man will likely faint if he sees it will have him stand outside then once the baby is out and it's time to cut the cord he comes back in.
There is literally NOTHING in this world that could stop me from being present during the birth of my children.
If I were a good dude, these big mouth “alpha” types would infuriate me. Entitled women with princess complexes do that to me. It’s sad that the worse people have the loudest voices
@@TheReluctantVlogger Yeah, a lot of the alpha podcaster bro type dudes really suck. You're right though, the internet has given the fools of society a platform to spread their idiocy, male or female.
I would be so genuinely excited to see my kid and also worried about my wife's health.
I feel HORRIBLE for the first man’s wife, going to bed while his wife was going through birth. His carelessness is beyond me. I’ve had two home births (soon to be three) and you bet my wonderful husband was right by my side the entire time doing everything he could. It’s just as much his child and if he didn’t care to be apart of the process I would be devastated.
My mother in law would once told my brother in law, go away it's women's work 😂 his face was priceless
Exactly. I said the same thing about it being both their responsibility just in different words. The female may have to give birth, but you both created this life and the male should be there for support and why would any man not want to witness his child being born? So sad.
A man with infinite options of women vying for his attention has little reason to care for them. It's basic r-K selection theory. Women acting based mostly on instincts and refusing to act based on traditional codes of behaviour is destroying the foundations of what we need in order to have a civilziation.
Maybe he is masking his fear about the birth. He certainly missed out on a chance to mature. I worry about his commitment in the long run. .. he was a bit too glad that he missed it. I am not impressed by his comments.
My mother is a midwife & I got to catch my son being born. Babies being born in are house was a normal thing growing up & got a kick out of the neighbors freak out when some ladies got loud 😂
My husband would be devastated to not be there to see his babies being born. Not to mention that I think men get so much more respect for what women go through when giving birth. My father didn’t see his first 2 being born in Iraq, and was there to see my little brothers (twins) being born in the Netherlands. My mom tells me the difference was enormous. He cold turkey stopped smoking. He became way more involved gave us so many speeches about how hard our mom works and to take up the chores because we need to protect her. I’ve asked her about her experience of giving birth with my dad there. And she said after my first little brother was born, she was telling my dad I don’t think I can push the second out. He whispered in her ear, you can do it. You’re so strong. I’m so proud of you. Just keep going a little more. How you can’t find value in that is beyond me.
That makes me believe that these people have spouses, period. Not life partners.
Thank you for sharing this story, it brought tears to my eyes 🥹
Funny thing is, it’s “Alpha” behavior to take responsibility for your actions- not to block them out and make excuses 💀
That's why this whole Alpha/Beta thing doesn't apply to humans, we are far too complex and have a moral dimension to our being.
Let's just drop this alpha beta crap altogether. It's no different from the astrology signs thing. We don't need it.
There isn't "Alpha" behavior. Alpha and Beta are more to do with pure genetics. No matter how you act, you can't be a 5'3 man with a hunchback and cant jump over a '24 box and claim "Alpha"
@@IT_Farhan
It absolutely does!
@@IT_Farhan Beta are wimpy and woke.
The first guys idea is "My wife's having a baby. All I need to do is call the ambulance and then go to sleep again", JUST cause "Women are better at taking care of other women"..... That's completely ludacris! I mean, you can still sit with her while you wait for the ambulance, you can take care of her, go to the hospital with her and wait outside the fuckin room she's in if that's the case. But just don't giving a piss more than a freakin CALL!? No bro. No. You shouldn't be a husband, and I don't think you should be a dad.
And besides all that, what a total waste of public ressources. Why call an ambulance when you can easily drive her to the hospital yourself 🙄
@@hypnoteapotespecially since an ambulance costs like $2000 😭😭
As a single dad the day my daughter was born was the greatest day of my life the feeling I got watching her birth has never been equaled... Energized completed .. there are no words. that guy is a fool and missing the best feelings/moment In life and doesn't know it.
That's a beautiful experience. Thanks for sharing 😊. ❤ Not to pry, but did you consider getting married at that time to the mother of your baby at that time so you'll can share many more beautiful miracles of watching your baby grow together? You sound like a family orientated man, wondering why you're a single dad.....
@@nicoobrowner long story short... Baby mom is not a good person and I knew right away the onus was going to be all on me got full custody before she turned 2 ... She's in her 30s now and my 6 yr old grandson is watching tv with me atm so it all worked out.
@@coryaronson2678 Wow. Thanks so much for sharing your story! I am happy things worked out in the end for you and your family. You were very strong. What a blessing! 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 ✨️ 💖
He’s just a coward.
Agreed.
A man should be there not just for support for her but to welcome his child to the world.
As a mom, its never bothered me when people are adamantly against having children. Its quite a lot and a huge lifestyle change. Especially if you have no family around you (like us) that you cant utilize for any sort of a mental break.
What bothers me is when people tote being child free as a flex as though they are better than those of us that do have kids. Ive been called selfish by the aggressively child free people because the only reason some of them think people have kids is to have a "mini me" or to have someone to care for me at the end of my life. None of which are true. Sure there are bad parents but most of us certainly dont put our lives and interests on hold, disrupt our youthful bodies, and manage the constant responsibility that it is to care and nurture another human because we're only thinking of ourself.
Which is hilarious. Because presumably, it will be our kids, taking care of THEM at the the end of their lives, in geriatric living and hospital wards, slogging away on minimum wage and lack of support and resources because of population collapse - because they won’t have any children of their own to love and invest in them.
They will be relying on the investment and responsibility and sacrifice of those of us who had children, to carry the burden of a collapsing welfare system.
What's crazy, is that in some cases, the people who don't want children are the ones being selfish (like you said, they feel their lives would be put on pause, their own interests would be pushed aside, etc.). Those that have called you selfish for WANTING children, probably are just projecting their own feelings onto you, because deep down they know that they are probably being the selfish ones for not wanting to have a child.
That being said, it is true that if one doesn't want to have a child, one doesn't have to. It doesn't necessarily make you selfish for not wanting a child. But, most of the reasons as to why people don't want children, do seem to be very "me" focused and selfishly constructed. Then again, that's just my own two cents. Others may see the focus on oneself to be noble, and not selfish.
The reason that I never wanted children is because I couldn't guarantee that child's happiness or well-being. Mental illness runs in my family and I would never want to burden someone with that who didn't ask to be born. That, coupled with the fact that there are enough humans in the world were my top reasons for being childfree. If I ever want a child I will definitely foster and go on to adopt.
well you must not be aware that MANY people are lkike that. They do kids thinking of their future not about their kid's future
True. Having kids doesn’t define peoples whole life. The majority of the geniuses had kids as well as the majority of serial killers and addicts. People who might have or might not have kids lose jobs and have successful careers, die of preventable diseases or have healthy and balanced lifestyle, watch tv and surf the web for 8 hours straight or have numerous hobbies and activities. Just like short, tall, skinny, fat, young and old people.
A guy tried to flex while saying something extremely beta. Eating the food that another guy bought.
LOL
I guess I heard that story all wrong lol 🤦🏾♀️
Exactly! Like the guys that boast about a woman taking their bought drinks to him by a next man. Like you’re a bum!
@@ixxie.beautySame. I was so confused. I thought he went home from the date and then she called him back to come back over! 😂😂😂🤦♀️
This is why Steve Harvey's dating advice is terrible.
Women are doing next level foodie-calls, they have rosters yet expect courtship? 🤔
I went with midwives with my second and third kid. Third was an unmedicated VBAC that my husband coached me through. He was THE MOST important part of my support. Kid came out so fast that there were no nurses or midwife in the room when she was born. My husband caught her and gave me amazing encouragement through the 50 seconds of pushing that happened.
I was there for both my children's births. Saw my wife's guts on the first go. It's not as scary or terrible as some may think. Remember, they aren't ripping the kid out of you. Maybe be a bit more sympathetic to what your partner is going through. The least you can do is sit there and hold her hand.
My first child was a normal birth. The next two were c sections, and I seen parts of my wife that I never thought I would see. I was in the room holding her hand for all 3. Now she's my ex-wife and I'm paying child support. I should have went to the bar instead 😆🤣
Nah, ignoring females forever.
@@darklordsauron3415 Wtf get your head checked
@@darklordsauron3415weird
@@robertc49not funny
About the guy who doesn't want children. I was this guy for most of my life. I saw my parents, relatives, and neighbours all not enjoying parenthood. Not enjoying being parents. I heard horror stories about labour, and it all made me think having children was this horrible thing, but also I didn't know a good reason to have them.
Until! Until I found a love so strong at the age of 29, I suddenly knew what it was all about. Now I have a family and am so happy I got this opportunity I never thought I would have. And having a child is very taxing, but also rewards you with a love you couldn't imagine you were capable of feeling.
So I totally get both sides, and I definitely think it's wise to wait with children until you find the right person.
How many times you give good guys food to bad boy😂
@JohnAnderson-ev3lp interestingly enough I had the good boys before. 😆 Didn't work out.
My man is quite a bad boy, but he's awesome to me and our kid, so...
THIS is so true
Suuuure, he's a "bad boy". Right up until you snub his advances one too many times and he'll step out on your ass and into a strange woman's bed. Don't act surprised, if and when it happens, @@tinca66
True, and I'd like to add - it is not lack of wisdom or maturity to admit that you are too exhausted and too weak to go through parenthood, after life of trauma and forced adulthood at young age.
Some people started their adult life at age 10, and some at age 30. Those who started it at age 10 will be exhausted at age 30. They will not want to go through it again.
Some person (let's say Tyler) is 30 years old and just starting his life, just started working and taking care of things. Some people have been molested at age 6, thinking how to feed themselves at age 9, working at age 11, taking care of their siblings at age 14. They have already been through adult life and they just want to rest now.
If you don't understand this, you are the one without wisdom.
I remember the moment that my husband realized we had a child. During the pregnancy he just didn't seem as in it. I mean he was a fantastic partner and we did all the Lamaz stuff and everything but it just didn't seem like it was that real to him. Of course it was for me because I felt everything. But after my daughter was born, she was over on her incubator table and the nurses had walked away to do a couple of things and my husband walked over to her. He put his finger down around where her little hand was and she reached up and grabbed his finger and held on to it and I saw his whole body sag. That moment it's like something snapped in him. And they were best friends from then on. He got the nickname baby hog because whenever anyone would come to see one of our babies, I'd have to pry them out of his hands because he never wanted to let them go. He changed diapers, gave baths, got puked on, took them to doctor's appointments and everything that a good dad does. He's honestly the best dad ever and everyone has the most respect for him. He's coached their little league teams and soccer teams and always does fun things with the kids when The Neighbor kids come over to play. Everyone just adores him and I just can't say how much I love and respect him. I am so proud to be his wife
That is so wonderful! God bless your family!
This is so beautiful. And the way you wrote it paints a vivid picture, too. I wish for many more years of love and happiness together, as well as good health!!
I asked my husband what he thought about not being in the delivery room with me(we have a 14 month old daughter and pregnant with our second baby) he said he would “fight whoever and break whatever he had to to be in there with me.” ❤ men naturally have an instinct to be close and protect his wife/children. That guy has a screw loose for sure!
My husband said something similar.
I remember when my ex best friend was in labour with my ex bfs baby (they were dating at the time and I wasn’t really shocked by the way I saw him treat me and others) and his mom had to text me and tell me she was alone in the room and he refused to come and was just hanging out at home with takeout. I immediately messaged her, we didn’t make up as friends but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let her be in labour by herself! That’s when you need all the love and support. It should feel like a natural instinct to be in there! I know for a fact that my partner will be in the room with me, he’ll never hear the end of it if he’s not 😂
@ You’re a good person. He’s definitely got some real issues. I don’t understand how sometimes biological instincts gets overridden by stupid/crazy. It’s really sad.
That second dude just wrote his own fan fiction
1000%. I am willing to bet money that none of that ever happened.
I was thinking the same thing
Your probably right, but that scenario does happen unfortunately. Some people out here are straight up sociopaths....
Are you sure? Maybe dude isn't lying. Anything is possible these days.
I follow him on tik tok half his vids are f boy satire and half are real so idk
Mom of five here. I've had both male and female doctors, and male and female midwives. I can only speak to my own experiences but some of the women were very dismissive of my concerns, especially with my first birth. They seemed to have lost that sense of mystery and almost reverence of birth that my male attendants retained. One nurse at our first birth actually said, "What do you mean you're surprised at how much it hurts? It's LABOR. What did you expect?" The men were definitely more, "What can we do to help you?" Don't rule out a male birth professional just because he's a guy. He could be a great fit for you.
This. 100% this. I had all female nurses and it took 24 hours for them to admit that I was in labor. They kept telling me that these were false contractions, that I was "too sensitive" and that "REAL contractions are 10 000× worse".... I was 4 cm dilated when they finally checked me and confirmed that I was giving birth.
I think it's more of a hospital staff vs Birth center staff thing and not a man vs woman thing. Hospital births are a good thing because of the epidural, but that's about it. They don't care about you as a person nor your birthing experience. They just want you alive and out of there ASAP.
@@hypnoteapot All of my births were in hospitals . I'm sure there are many variables at play here. I'm sorry we both experienced some negativity from our med staffs during a stressful but still special time.
My ex was like the first guy when it came to childbirth. He was definitely more of a hindrance than a help. Hospital staff expects you to bring your own help, so you are SOL if the people you bring with you to the hospital don't actually want to help. The first guy is a *big* red flag because that attitude carries into the rest of the relationship. A guy who doesn't want to be supportive of childbirth is not going to be supportive of childcare, pregnancy, career, chores, etc., etc., etc. It was easy to divorce my ex because he made it clear time after time that he never cared about me or the kids and he wasn't about to start. I was already living like a single mom, I just reduced the number of children I had to care for by 1.
Yep, he's gonna use the same excuses to avoid changing diapers, waking up with the baby, taking care of bath time or bed time etc
Same girl same.
@@heykay5610I would never marry and have kids with a muslim man. They are taught that women and animals are the same category.
And you still had a kid with that person. Wow.
Women☕️
@@thecoedbutcher52 It was an unplanned pregnancy while on the pill during my first ovulation after marrying him. Guess I was dumb for not murdering my baby.
Toxic victim blamers on the internet ☕
There are so many things that could go wrong. Mid labor I passed out and needed my husband to help make decisions I couldn’t. That’s just an awful partner. Imagine being told you need an emergency c section and you’re alone. My kid knew her dad’s voice and made eye contact with him the first moments of her life.
That’s a huge reason too for me! I need my husband to make decisions for us if I am out of it which can happen A LOT to women.
My husband was with me through my seven labors and deliveries and for one of them he was accidentally the ONLY one there with me. For someone with no knowledge, education or outside interest in birth, he did everything I needed from him and helped me so much. Mostly he just held my hand. It makes a big difference.
7?!
Did the 'no doctor' thing with our second. I know childbirth isn't about me, but I was SO scared. Our daughter was preemy and I thought both were dying right there by the side of the road. She's still small, but healthy. I love them so much.
@@KyleeAMpeople have 7 kids all the time lol. My best friends mom had 8, my husband's sister has 6 kids. Some people want a big family. I would if I could😢
@@Ashlyn267 My grandmother was one of 8, and me one of 4, but I can't even imagine giving birth to 4 kids, much less 7. I haven't ever been pregnant (I'm only 18) but It sounds crazy painful, and to have 7 kids is just insane
Lol. I so very much relate! Every single one of the medical personnel left the room two minutes before our #8 made his abrupt entrance into the outside world!
I am 55, single, never married, no kids, no real romantic relationships, honestly. And that is exactly the way I have always liked it. I dated for so many years, hating every moment of it, until one day I decided to stop doing things I do not enjoy simply to please everyone else. I've been so happy ever since. Yes, I live for myself, and despite being 100 percent pro-life, would absolutely have resented a husband and a child because I am a loner by nature, so I did the right thing and sat those institutions out. I feel if you know in your heart you cannot devote yourself to a child - or a spouse - you are morally obligated to not become a parent. My mother and my grandmother were of those generations of women pushed into marriage - both at 19 years old - and neither had any trouble letting all the kids in the family know how much they hated us for existing. That taught me young to avoid motherhood and wifedom.
And don't anyone feel sad for me - I LOVE living alone, and interacting when I choose to, not because I have to. No regrets at all, and I really think it's pathetic how feminists hate men so much but are absolutely obsessed with having relationships with them. I am not a feminist or a man-hater, but girls, there is so much more to life than dating. I wish more young women understood this. We would have less abortions, less abused children, waaay less drama, and a lot more happiness.
China is built for that
Your grandma and mom made you hate familly and kids on subconcious level,parents can wire us in good,bad or neutral way
❤
You know what, I've been living with that "societal" stress a long time, wondering wtf was with me, rarely getting into relationships or when I did, not having them for too long. Not being asexual either, I do have those needs to, but often watching people living in couple and not really being thrilled by the idea. Actually a loner too and was dreading the day I'd have to learn to live together with a partner.
Well as I start growing a bit older, I can see I'm not the only one, and it's not a huge deal not to be a "relationship person". Maybe it's just how some of us do want to live our lives. Been told once I'm an "omega male" whatever that means lol.
Kudos for acknowledging it and living by your standard :)
@@visnoga5054 Hey, thanks! Usually I just get dragged when I say that. I really think relationships are not the be-all end-all. Glad you're happy too, don't listen to the naysayers 👍
My husband at first didn't want to be inside the labor room during my c-section. He doesn't like hospitals and told me he would be waiting for me outside. But in the end, he went with me and said he had no regrets. It was really amazing to have our photo together right after our daughter was born
The first UK guys let me down. 19 year old from London here & I couldn’t imagine leaving my wife alone whilst she’s in labour. Guess I’m the last of a dying breed 🤷♂️ Gentlemen are becoming extinct.
💯💯
I’ve had both male and female OB’s and the male was way more compassionate and understanding and willing to listen to me. I was having gallbladder issues and my female OB told me to suck it up, and when I switched providers, my new OB was like we need to book an operating room tomorrow.
This is more proof that just cause a doctor's a woman doesn't mean she'll have my best interest in mind.
I've had that same experience and missed my male ob
I have a male OB and I don't plan on changing anytime soon. I had a woman in my workplace who wouldn't accommodate my sickness while pregnant. She literally said "I was fine when I was pregnant, she will be too."
I've also heard the same thing about police officers who interview women who've been SA'd. I'm glad you finally got an empathetic doctor; sometimes it seems they're hard to come by.
I've had such a similar experience, next time I'm having a male right off the bat 👍
The first man is not a protector, its strange to see a man without an instinct to want to be there to protect his newborn child and wife. Very weak.
The hardest part of my delivery experience was when I was wheeled in for an emergency c-section and my husband wasn't allowed in while I was being put under. That was the loneliest and scariest time. I couldn't imagine wanting that for the whole thing. I'm glad he was there when my son was born though, because I didn't meet my son till a couple hours later when I woke up.
I had an emergency c-section also, my husband and I were both terrified. They wouldn’t let my husband in for what seemed like forever. Thankfully we got a doula and she was allowed to scrub in and was there for every second. As soon as he could my husband held my hand the entire time. Although I will say there was a young nurse that held my hand and was so kind and comforting until my doula then my husband came in
Same here!
My cousin and her son nearly died during the birth of her son. Her husband had to go with the baby to the NICU to make decisions while my cousin needed emergency surgery and 37 blood transfusions. She was in a coma for days. They both lived thank the Lord. Who makes the decisions while the husband is in the Fing pub???
I was wondering if you were my SIL's cousin.
IDENTICAL story. So traumatic all around.
Thankfully, years later, they had one more child and the birth was so healing with how perfectly it went.
@AVSgirl1985 no, it can't be the same person. Im glad she found healing
I had to be in surgery while my wife was having a cesarean because my daughter was only 23 weeks and my wife’s blood pressure was sky high. My wife and daughter almost died during surgery and I am glad I was there, especially if the unthinkable had happened. My wife was awake the entire time and I was there to quell her fear. I had to push my down my fear and be there for my wife and daughter.
She really needed that, I promise you. I lost my son at 23 weeks, my partner wasn’t there bc he was with the woman he cheated on me with. Then when he finally got there, he blamed me and accused me of doing something to hurt my baby bc of all the craziness. The doctor overheard and came to my defense. She said they can tell if something deliberate had happened to harm our son, but the only thing that impacted my pregnancy was stress. He left me at the hospital, and I never saw him again. I’m so much better off today! I’ve got 2 sons and an amazing husband who adores me. We get to where we’re meant to be, eventually.
❤ glad you did.
Yes, to each their own is an excellent motto for this and most online discourse. It's okay to find fulfillment outside of developing a family, instead building up your work, your community, your world. One person's happiness is not everyone else's journey, and we shouldn't be criticize them as being lesser humans simply for not wanting kids.
I think kids are precious and beautiful, but I think allowing someone to know themselves and choose their path has more value, and I don't consider it sad at all for a person to find happiness in something I don't.
20:38 That guy's "Beta Speech" was literally like those video rollercoasters that don't actually go anywhere. Lots of word, talking loud and saying NOTHING. 😂
I can't even count on both my hands and feet how many times I've been told " You'll never find a man that doesn't want kids" or " You're selfish for not wanting kids" or "You'll change your mind" and people don't realize how much these things hurt and affect those of us that don't want kids. It's constantly in the back of my mind that I'll never find a life partner, and I think it's been a root cause for a lot of my more feminine troubles. The idea that a woman wont feel fulfilled if she doesn't have kids perpetuates a lot more negative than one would assume.
I think what it comes down to is that everyone should live for something bigger than themselves, and that can be many different things to many different people. I think that as long as you are living your life in a way that betters the world around you while simultaneously doing what you love, you will be fulfilled. My dream is to create music that inspires others. I've had a lot of struggles throughout my life, and if I can put music into the world that makes at least 1 person realize that life is worth living, then I will be fulfilled.
I personally don't want children and I 've never desired childbirth. BUT If I were to ever be at a point in my life where I wanted a child, I'd adopt. It just doesn't seem fair to bring a baby into a world that's falling apart, when there's so many children out there who are forced to go through life alone. I understand the sentiment of having your own biological children, but I rather give an already existing child a chance to know what unconditional love is and to see that the world is kind. Adoption is expensive, yes, but I know that if I am able to afford it I will be at a point in my life where I am capable and ready to give them the best life possible. [ PS: Show older kids in the adoption system some love, God knows they need it. ]
Or the selfish one: Who is going to take care of you when you're old? I know plenty families who don't talk anymore and die alone. Luckily my parents didn't care for grandchildren, so they never pushed the idea. I think I missed out on some great guys because of the no children, but I couldn't imagine having one ever. A man with children, perhaps, if I really love him and him me, as long as he doesn't want me to be a fulltime mother for them. It does hurt and make me uncomfortable if someone tries to convince me. It will never work. But I'm already 38 anyway, for me the cut off is 35 for a woman, a child needs young parents and the older you get the more risks could be involved with the health of the mother or/and baby.
No way would I ever miss the birth of our 3 daughters
Come on amala there are dates where you plan on dating and marring a girl and there are dates where you plan on hooking up there is a different it's nothing wrong but I understand that you as a woman you would fine this weird and bad but remember that woman do this more than men but men know when it's time to find a wife and when it's time to hook up I hope you understand
3 daughters good lord God hates you huh
@@DoomLeigion8086bruh what are you talm bout
@@DoomLeigion8086 that’s some bs there dude😂
Are you having triplets or making a joke about your daughters being born already?
Hi Amala and Taylor! Your biggest Aussie fan here. Just a point on the guy at the end in relation to not having kids. As someone who doesn't want kids myself I don't particularly view it the way the guy in the video describes or the way you both see it. I have a kind of a different perspective. Like while work and kids may be the source of others fulfilment, I feel and gain a great sense of fulfilment from the relationships I already have. I hate the idea that not having kids would make me selfish. I really hope it doesn't, I just gain a sense of purpose for caring for those already in my life such as my parents, family, friends or my long term partner. Hopefully you see my comment as I always miss your live streams, I'm hanging out for the day I can make a super chat! Thanks for the quality entertainment/education guys! ❤
"I actually developed a medical ailment from watching that." - sums up so many of my recent watching experiences! 😂 Can I please steal that line?
Taylor nailed it with the joy and fulfillment of children and how responsibility is what makes life fulfilling and no greater responsibility than creating and nurturing a life
I would never have the energy for a child, let alone be fulfilled. I hope everybody with children feels the way he describes, but I cannot see it for myself. I rather spend my little energy on doing fun stuff or getting through the workday and relax at night.
The clothes guy, I agree and disagree. Every man should own a suit, and be able to dress up. Baggy clothes aren't always appropriate, but tbh, even if its "baggy" if the fit goes hard, and it's an appropriate setting, absolutely wear it.
Every dude could own a suit if they weren’t super fucking expensive for a quality tailored suit. In my area it’ll be like 400 for a decent tailored suit
let ppl wear what they want.
i could say every women should own the Red dress
@@kikolandzik Every woman should have formal wear too.
Yea I basically agreed to the whole thing dude said.
Same. As for the two outfits shown, the first one was weird, but the second was a super nice casual outfit. I do however love a man dressed up in a suit. ♥️
It’s not a lack of wisdom to decide against having children. It takes wisdom to know that doing something just because it’s what’s expected of you may not actually be what’s right for you, or to know that you couldn’t provide a child with what they need to be happy.
exactly. that was a pretty bad take, and shows the lack of wisdom that people who choose to have children may have. It's a lot more than just "I want a kid because it fulfills ME," you have to consider if you can provide that child with everything they need and make sure you set them up for success.
Just the amazing ability that a woman can recreate another Human Being is to be Celebrated. Being beside my wife for the Birth of my Two Daughters is far beyond anything else that can possibly happen to me. One of the worst possible things that ever happened to me was that it took a Stroke to wipe those amazing events from my Memories, but Thank God my wife was able to explain to me with tears in her eyes that yes I was there. Have a Great Evening from a Stroke Survivor from Canada.
God bless you
Having my husband there during labor was the most helpful. He was so supportive and of course was so excited to see our daughter the moment she was born.
Im a woman and I have 3 children, and i gave birth alone each time. The first time around it wasnt a choice, although my husband wasnt that keen on witnessing a birth anyway - my baby was premature and i had to be emergency flown across my country because there wasnt a neonatal ICU space in my local hospital. The second and third time i chose not to have anyone there as i felt comfortable with being alone having already done it the first time and my husband stayed home with the older children. He came to the hospital after the birth. I'm honestly glad i did it alone, its such a vulnerable and humbling experience and i didn't need the pressure of having someone else in the room, im very introverted though so this is just what worked for me.
@pia-olefa Like Amala said, as you and your husband seem to have discussed it before hand, it seems like it was the best choice for you! However, the difference is knowing that, if you needed him, he would be there to support you, unlike the husband in the first clip who actively took measures to ignore her and her pain. Much love ❤
I get that. For my last birth just 5 weeks ago, I said I kind of just wanted to labor like an animal - alone in a dark cave somewhere 😂 The fewer people around the better
@@limiwaso what did u end up doing lol
When it comes from the woman giving birth herself, that's something else. Also, he doesn't need to be in the room, he could just wait outside or in the lobby etc.
It was your request and he wasn't in bar or something, he was with your children. It still a type of support to let you go through birth in peace knowing that everything beside taken care of.
That alpha motivational speaker 😅 i had a friend who was into those sort of talks so I've heard a lot of them and honestly the thing i took away once you throw out all the macho/alpha talk is 'take ownership of yourself and your choices', which i think is a good point about encouraging people to take charge of their life, if your unhappy make changes, make different choices cause you are in control of your life. Don't be a beta = don't be a victim and let stuff happen to you, take the acrion to be different or change the situation. Just the people who do those talks are usually a$$ holes 😂 and dont get the message across well. Thanks for coming to my ted talk lol
I agree with your points. The reason most are azholes is because they make decisions that benefit themselves only, they go too far down the rabbit hole and lose compassion for all others and become narcissists.
The only reason why my husband wasn't with me when I delivered was he was overseas at the time.
That kind of reason is basically the only reason I will accept in this day and age.
I could see having him not be in the room if he really doesn't do well with blood and stuff but he should still be at the hospital outside the door at least.
@@iPhailepically Yes, I'm already planning on helping my brother in law with his fiance when they have kids. I have never seen someone who gets woozy just from a simple description of needles etc. Poor guy will 1000% faint in the delivery room haha
I feel like in general women would be better at 'helping' during labor, but that's not why women want their man there in the first place.
They just want the man to be there for emotional support, just to hold their hand so they know you're there for them, that's it.
And obviously so he can see his child being born of course.
The last guy talking about the mother and grandmother being unhappy about being mothers...I can relate to that so much.
The men in their lives were not the best supporters nor the best parents and they as a result (my mother moreso) had to pick up most of the labour at home and became resentful even though she loved my father.
I was told a lot that she wished she never had kids (she was the one who wanted kids before and planned us) and went to college. That I should either find a rich man or don't have kids at all. She felt very unappreciated and always had to be the bad guy, doing all of the work, etc.
Looking back I was a pretty lazy kid who followed what my dad did and didn't understand what my mom was really saying.
I can't imagine my mother saying she wished she didn't have kids. I do it all too, am divorced, have a disabled adult daughter and another teen at home. My eldest will live with me forever. Yes it's hard and I get resentful sometimes of the situation I'm in. But I just use the situation to try to find ways to get some opportunities for myself to get recharged. If I had to do it all again, I would do it all again because God wanted these kids here and He chose me to be their mother. So it's an honor and a privilege even when the well is dry and I'm tapped out. I had crappy parents, very self centered ones, and I live each day trying to do and be better. Right there I am changing the trajectory of my family line for the better.
Maybe instead of we women getting resentful, we choose to take on a different attitude. I used to be a pessimist and now I'm not, solely through the decision to not be one
@@BusinessSkrub
I don't use tik tok.
I had a mother who worked and did all the labour at home.
She had expected and told my father that if she were to have kids, she wanted to be a stay at home mom. That never happened cuz my dad's rage had him lose jobs, but he never helped at home until he became disabled. But the first 16 years of my life my mother was depressed (she also had 2 pregnancies fail with the twins dying a day after birth).
My mother had an emotional life with a lot of loss and to feel appreciated and helped by my father would have alleviated some of her pain.
My father wasn't horrible. His parents beat him. He had unresolved issues and anger from his childhood. It always got in the way. He couldn't be the best him he could have been for our family. I have the same rage so I understand. It doesn't change the fact that as a result, my mother told me these things. She would not be the only mother who told her daughter not to follow the same life she did. She wanted more than depression for her children.
Of course I didn't listen, but I unfortunately have relationships with some shitty men along the way. One I have to share my firstborn with.
Thankfully I've ended up with someone wonderful but it took me until 30 to find him.
@@minagelina
I think it's the circumstances of your upbringing that decided this. If your parents were shitty then you of course would not want to be that way with your kids.
I am proud of you. Idk if I could have done it all alone.
I've heard this before and my heart goes out to you honey. Men and women will go into relationships and feel underappreciated and then it eats them up inside. They end up passing that sentiment down to their kids but it's important that there's plenty of beautiful things to look forward to in life. There's not many good men and women out there but it doesn't mean it's impossible to find a man who will adore you only and bring you peace and support. I hope your mother found peace and I'm sure she always loved you ❤
@@JazzyJuniper
Both of my parents have passed away unfortunately...
We found notes from my mother saying how much she wanted to give up (menopause made her puke daily).
She did love us but I don't think she ever recovered from my twin brothers dying at birth...
But yes it's definitely something that was passed down and I'm sure many other women went through the same thing with their mothers and fathers, resulting in the world ("I need no man!") we have today.
You find out too late too that as a girl you tend to find traits in boys that are your dad's. It's a sad thing if you only go for the bad traits.
Don't get me wrong. I love my father greatly. I got along with him better.
My dad missed my birth only bc by the time he dropped my mom off, parked the car, and made his way up, i was already out lmao
But i would hate myself for leaving my wife to have OUR child by herself while i go and SLEEP at home 🙄🙄🙄
Like, sir, do you even WANT kids???
My experience with the female OB was that she was always "right" and was very dismissvive of my symptoms. Half way through, I went to a male OB who did a better job monitoring me. He put me on iron and that fixed most of the problems. He noticed when my sodium was low and I needed fluids. He delivered my baby safely when I developed preeclampsia. All three of my babies have been delivered via c-section by male doctors. The third time, a female doctor came in so that the male doctor could prepare for his next delivery and she did my stitches. That was the only time I ever had stitches open back up. Male doctors have always just been more willing to try to make me comfortable through everything and listen to me. Needless to say, I prefer having male OBs at this point.
Same for me. I’ve had several OB/GYN’s in my life, the men were BY FAR the better doctors for me. Far more sensitive and gentle and caring and professional. Far more. I’ve had 3 kids, after the 1st with a woman doctor I said never again. Just my experience.
God bless 🙏🏽
You made an EXCELLENT point. I studied social work, and we have found evidence from women that female doctors often do not believe a patient who is female really has cramps or bloating or whatever is female she came in to complain about if the female doctor has never experienced that symptom herself.
A MALE will assume the woman patient knows how her body works and feels, since he does not have those symptoms as he isn’t female, he believes her cries for help, and offers sympathy and gives her treatments to help her feel better.
Your story is one of many.
I hope other young girls/ladies will read what you said before they get attached to the idea of only females helping them.
Yep. I liked my male OBs better than the female ones. They were the best.
My feale OB induced and went on vacation.
That first guy wasn't blessed enough to witness the birth of his child. No amount of money or regret is ever going to bring back that moment. On the other hand, given his crappy attitude, his wife might have preferred his absence.
Dang, that last TikTok was downright bone-chilling for me…
Loved your story about your dad, Taylor, he sounds like he is a wonderful father, which makes sense because he raised you 🤗 As I get older and the notion of becoming a mother becomes less and less lofty and far-off… yeah, I do get a bit nervous at this idea of having to put another life (several other lives, God willing) above my own… it feels very daunting but when you said that it just clicked for your dad when he stopped fighting it and went all-in on being a father… dang, that really encouraged me 🩷
I’m 23 and pregnant with my first (planned) and as excited and happy as I am, you just don’t feel ready 😂 like I know I’m “ready” but you feel this doubt of “am I going to do this right” and then I remember all I can do is my best and what I can as time passes and my child grows.
womp womp
The last one is super depressing
Amen! Same.
My husband supported me through the birth of both of our children: at home, unmedicated, and the second time with our toddler along to witness. It was truly the best support I could ever wish for, and the midwife is there to catch signs of a complication, not provide the bulk of emotional and physical support. Plus, my husband caught our second child and it's an unparalleled experience. He's beyond proud to have been there!
That second guy is writing his own fan fiction
it is definitley a thing I had two guy friends that did exactly what he is describing. It is VERY real.
Whatever you have to tell yourself to cope 😂
@@JohnAnderson-ev3lp For some reason half of the comment section really believes he's lying I think they're being willfully ignorant 😂
@@jamesatkinson3853That’s weird. Try hanging out with normal people.
@@casebased8391 It's more normal than people realize. I'm trying to tell you.Especially when you're on college, alot of times people don't have a legit reason to take them seriously and also you can't negotiate physical attraction 🤷♂
20:00 You can't emphatically and enthusiastically tell people to "not be a beta" while wearing skinny jeans.
"To each their own, charlize theron" went way harder than I expected
As a dad of two... of course women are better at assisting in labor, and i knew when my wife went through this process not to indulge myself too much into the situation... But just "being there" is basics, leave it for the nurses too do what needs to be done, but just be there to show your support. Leaving your wife alone in any hard or important situation is careless, and red flag is a understatement.
my ex abandoned me as soon as he found out I was pregnant. I was a high risk pregnancy because I have brittle bone disease (Osteogenesis Imperfecta) and there was a high risk of both me AND the child dying during childbirth. I had my daughter alone in a hospital room, not knowing where we were going to go once she was here because we were homeless at the time BECAUSE he abandoned us. Yeah, that was the experience I had with my last birth. Then 3 years later he decides he suddenly wants to be a part of our lives after the hardest part of child rearing was over.
I hope you didn’t let him back in, if someone isn’t there at my lowest, I don’t want them there at all
I have so much hatred for men who suddenly want to become a parent after the most difficult part of raising a child is done. The laziness and entitlement and overall jackassery infuriates me.
Ugh. What a soulless thing to do to the mother of his child. I couldn't imagine doing something so cold-hearted. 😞
@@romanrules007 sadly, I didn't have a choice. The court system forced me to.
@@Daniel-yl5jl1bi6q yeah. But he paints ME out to be the bad guy in all this. He literally left me for another woman, left me knocked up with his kid, left us to fend for ourselves literally on the streets for 3 freaking years, yet I'm the bad guy. Lol I'm only bad in his eyes because I got pregnant. I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant according to my doctors after everything I had been through. Ruptured uterus and ovaries cancer. Yet somehow... Nature found a way yet I am the bad guy for that. *Sigh.
I had extremely high risk pregnancies. My last pregnancy I had to move in with my parents and 2 year old to be on bed rest and near the hospital my highrisk doctor was at. My husband stayed 40 miles away at our home. On Wednesdays my mom, daughter, and I would drive to my house and we would clean (me sitting on the couch folding clothes) and my mom doing everything else. Then my husband would be able to see our daughter. On the weekends he would come stay at my parents. Was it ideal? No, but we did it because I was on bedrest and had appointments 3 times a week. It was also emotionally stressful because I was so fearful of going into labor and my husband not getting there in time. We both knew it was a possibility but hoped for the best. Thankfully when I did go into early labor my husband happened to be at my parents' house. Our little one was born 6 weeks early, was healthy and got to come home with us 5 days later. That baby will be 13 soon. And while we would have got over if my husband wasnt able to be there for the delivey, we are so happy he was. I wanted him there to support me. And I wanted our babies to see him first and be held by both parents right away.
relationships now are a revenge game that is why it is exhausting.
I am so sorry for whatever has happened to make you feel that way.
“I think I developed a medical ailment from watching that” 😂😂😂 right on
I couldnt imagine my husband not being there for the birth of our son! Nor could he. And aside from the obvious joy of seeing his child born, it was such a bonding experience for the two of us. Most amazing moment of our lives ❤
My husband couldn't come with me for my emergency C-section because he had to watch our older child. It was by far my worst delivery. It was a very traumatic experience and I know it would have gone better if he could have been in the room with me. He clipped the umbilical for our first child, and our third. He was right by my side for those two, and I'm forever grateful for that.
I completely lost it when Tay said "what, u get pegged by the alpha?" 😂😅😂 I love ya'll ❤
It's not about "women are better at helping other women give birth"... It's about witnessing your child's first breath, first enter into the world, first glance at your child's life! You build more of a connection with your baby if you gone through that and get to hold your baby as soon as the baby comes out. This guy is totally missing the point. But if I did have my partner's support giving birth, it would be nice too!
The fact that the first guy isn’t even vaguely worried. Many many things can go wrong during childbirth even in this day and age. Even if you aren’t in the room at the same time you would think you would feel at least some type of anxiety, stress, or general anticipation.
As far as the last video about having children goes, I absolutely agree with the sentiment of not having children if you don’t feel a deep calling to raise a family. A couple of those comments from that particular video remind me of things I’ve heard from my own mom about her decision to have kids and her regrets about it and it’s a big part of the reason I don’t want children as of yet (I’m 29) but I plan on freezing my eggs this year just incase I change my mind because I know that day may very well come, but I think a very large part of the reason a lot of women and mothers feel this way about having children is because they either have fathers who worked a lot and weren’t helpful with household/child rearing duties or have a husband like that who doesn’t lend much help. They say it takes a village to raise a child and I think there’s a lot of truth to that statement. My dad was a great father to my brother and I growing up but he did work a lot and his job is a physically taxing one so I understand why he wasn’t eager to put in work when he gets home and he always prioritized time with my brother and I when he was home from work to help us with homework because my mom got her time with us during the day and his time was after work but my moms shift never ended like his did. Even when he was helping us with homework so she didn’t have to she didn’t get a break, she was in the kitchen prepping and cooking dinner or making his lunch for the next day or washing his coveralls so he’d have them for work the next day and she had no help. Despite the rewards that motherhood can bring I think it can be a very isolating and thankless job while also being the hardest job a person could have. Being a true home maker and raising children without any help whatsoever is something that can drain the life from a person if they lose themselves in it because they never feel like they can have w moment that’s theirs and everybody deserves at least a few hours a week to themselves to do the things they enjoy that fulfilled them before they were a parent a father always has his job to give him a sense of individuality and purpose outside of his family but the family still benefits from it and I think mothers should have enough help to be able to foster something in their lives that give them the same sense of individuality and purpose that doesn’t necessarily exist within their family unit but I guarantee it would benefit the family just the same. I think having creative hobbies that aren’t too involved are a super great way for mothers to keep something for them. When my mom had hobbies she seemed to enjoy being a mother much more than she did after she gave them up. The change in her attitude towards motherhood and her motherly duties was palpable even as a pre teen.
The "Don't Be a Beta" guy's body language clearly screams BETAAAAA! 😂 First glance I thought it was a comedy clip, but this dude is for real! 😂😂😂
every fiber of that guy is beta. his mannerisms, his voice, his stuttering/blabbering, his closed off posture. it HAS to be satire 😂
I was so embarrassed for him.
I was desperately waiting for the punchline but it never hit 😔
His voice alone... why would anybody want to listen to that? I had a hard time even trying to understand what he was saying, because his voice is so annoying.
@@wjdeoliveira3809 he really sounded like Spence off King of Queens! 🤣
Watching these now is making me even happier than I had stopped watching those women vs men podcast it was really conditioning me. Now I love men and woman and see us as equally valuable instead of some competition.
As a woman I can confirm that I’ve never had sex with another man while my date drove home…
So only when you drove yourself home.
@@JohnAnderson-ev3lp yeah, I usually actively have sex with men while also driving. I usually keep an extra man in my car for when I go on dates
@@JohnAnderson-ev3lpyall literally making up fantasies.
Being there for your PARTNER is all about emotional support, and this man child has the emotional maturity of a turnip.
Just because a woman doesn't have fulfillment in giving birth doesn't mean they're selfish. Some of us, including myself, want to adopt instead. Not to mention that I want to dedicate my life to helping people. Making donations or making others' lives easier gives me fulfillment. Nothing wrong with women who want to give birth either. They're doing their part in society just as I am and we should respect and encourage each other.
Of course, there are women who are very selfish by wanting to party all the time instead of making society better whether it's through motherhood and/or going into the workforce to provide for others. Trad wives get crapped on so much despite the fact that they can still have businesses and still absolutely be traditional! A compassionate and loving woman is a strong woman.
You want children, but you are only willing to adopt instead of giving birth. You defend traditional wives by saying that they can have businesses which means providing goods and services to strangers. You seem to value serving and caring for strangers over those of your own flesh and blood. Do you only value yourself when you can be of service to strangers?
@@PaulLeEtudiant They're providing for society as a whole whether they just take care of their kids or have a business while parenting. It doesn't make blood relations any less, but the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water in the womb. Not saying a child doesn't hold top priority, because they definitely do whether they're of blood or not. There are kids who are rejected by their parents or their parents weren't able to provide for them, so I would love to give them a family they never had. They would still be considered my children and top priority even if they came from someone else.
Having a business or going out and donating to charity doesn't mean putting strangers above family. There are priorities, but it's possible to do both and teach your children about the value of compassion as well as earning skills.
My mother once owned a small business and through it, she taught me about soapmaking, candlemaking, sewing, etc. It's a nice way to get your kids involved and even pique their interest in certain areas of study like math and science.
@@PaulLeEtudianttake a break. How did you turn this into an insult?
@@etainvelorum5814 If you could not have children due to biological reasons, then it would be understandable. Based on your previous statements you chose to not conceive, because you would not gain fulfillment from giving birth and nurturing your own children. But you gain fulfillment from nurturing children who have been abandoned or rejected by their parents.
You are fulfilled by nurturing those who have been abandoned or rejected e.g. homeless folks who have been abandoned by society, and children who were rejected by their parents. Nurturing individuals who have been abandoned or rejected is more important to you than nurturing your own children. Where is this coming from? Were you abandoned or rejected by someone in the past?
@@PaulLeEtudiant I've never been abandoned or rejected. I'm not sure how you came to that, but there's nothing wrong with adoption or helping others despite not having blood relation. 🤨
I've always dreamed of adopting just as my parents did. There are multiple reasons as to why people would adopt such as if they're older and therefore want an older child, or want an instant family without the fear of complications from pregnancy or they may may want to provide that experience and love to children who didn't have it before. Sometimes they don't want to pass certain genetics down either whether it involves physical or mental illnesses. The gender of the child can also be an important factor.
For myself, I love to provide for others and, even though I've never engaged in risky or addictive behavior, I don't want to pass on my genetics. Every child deserves loving parents. I wouldn't mind marrying someone who already has kids too. Baby, toddler, teenager, etc. Doesn't matter too much to me. Although the younger they are, the more often they are adopted.
As to having a male or female OB, I've had both and I was happy with both. They were both great doctors who cared and ensured the health of my children and myself, so what you really need is a good doctor in general.
Nah male OBs are sus. There's a million different parts of the body doctors can choose to study and focus on, and they chose vaginas.
When I had my last child, the pain meds they gave me muddled my brain, and I couldn't understand anything that was being said to me, but I understood my husband. It would have been a horrible experience without him there.
Imagine something going wrong and your infant or wife being alone and unable to get ahold of you. With my second child he was rushed to nicu and I was sent to post partum Ward if my hubby had not been there I would have spent the 4 hours they were stabilizing him doing surgical procedures ect. Having nurses fly in and out with papers to sign you might not physically be able to support but emotionally you can
I had my daughter in non ideal circumstances. I live a hard life because i chose to have her but never for a second could i ever resent her. In fact, i almost live through her. She brings perspective to me in ways i couldnt see and i feel so overjoyed when im able to provide things that i couldnt have as a kid. I just cant fathom the thought process of these women who feel this way
Honestly, some of those comments from women with children hurt my heart. Good on you for making the best of your situation and loving your kid
Maybe I could sort of understand not being in the room, I mean some people pass out, but going to sleep or to a pub is truly reprehensible
My first labor and delivery was as scary. If my husband had not been there, there’s a good chance our baby would have died. No one calms me down and convinces me that everything is okay the way that he does. Also, that baby ended up being born emergency C section. I was so very happy that he was there to hold our baby the second she was born, because I could not.
I feel like the cause of a lot of our first world problems is rooted in sayings like "what's in it for me?". It's all anyone seems to care about anymore, and it's completely eroding our human connections, our sense of community, and all the very things that bring us the most true fulfillment and joy. A little wisdom, perspective, and critical free thinking would go a long way.
Can y'all start listing the creators' handles to give them credit and so we can find the originals?
What you both say about parenthood is beautiful, Amala and Taylor. You'll make excellent parents some day, each in your own ways.
Im not gonna front , if i were a women and i just had to push a another human out of me , BY MYSELF and you stumble in with beer breathe we gone have some problems!
Wouldn't you really appreciate some beer though?
He’s wrong that a man can’t help alleviate a woman’s pain. My husband went down to the hospital cafeteria and told the anesthesiologist to put down his fork and give me an epidural now. He did and saved me 30 minutes of agony. Ironically, that same child is now an anesthesiologist lol.
That first one about calling the ambulance and going to sleep, he HAD to be taking the piss. No way he could be serious
There’s stories of the dudes who dropped everything the second they heard their wife was in labor, who would’ve rather lost their limbs than not be there while their child was born…
And then there’s these pathetic losers pretending to have anything going for them while admitting they cannot even be bothered to be their for the person they supposedly love.
Didn't have children, saved a ton of money, and stress. And just retired at 48. My sister has 4 and I don't feel like I've missed out on anything 😂
I'm also DINK (dual income No kids), and being able to travel, save money, eat what we want, donate to causes, fund education, without having any anxiety over having responsibility for another person is great.
I love love love kids, but I'll take care of my niece and nephews. While partying, traveling, sleeping or watching movies whenever I want. 😅
@@buttofthejoke Thank you for exiting the gene pool.
My mum was in labour with one of my siblings and my dad went across the road from the hospital and had a seafood feast. My mum loves telling that story!
My brother-in-law was on deployment and couldn’t be there for my sister. He tried so hard to get leave but couldn’t, meanwhile other people got emergency leave for lesser things but I digress. My sister really needed him there and my BIL was devastated that he couldn’t see the birth of his child and assist his wife. That guy had a choice and chose the wrong one. He has no idea what love is. Sad he’s a father with that attitude
I’m 59 never married no kids. Never felt maternal and frankly, was always afraid I wouldn’t do well if I had a kid who wasn’t smart or didn’t care about school. I don’t regret not having kids and never felt the need to find “fulfillment” or “meaning” in anything. I know you don’t understand this attitude shared by the commenters who were very honest about their experiences with motherhood. Since you don’t have kids, there’s a possibility you are romanticizing motherhood (including what you expect to get out of it) and may relate to the feelings of those commenters later, even if overall you’re still glad you have kids. So try to not accuse us of being selfish, aimless or self-centered going forward, ok?
Thank you 🙌
Yes!! I feel like that's a flaw of many right-wing people. They act as if the only purpose in life in procreation, and if you don't do your part, you're worthless in this life. I, too, have no maternal instinct, and never have. That doesn't make me useless, that just means that my purpose in life is something other than being a parent.
I helped position my wife during labor before my daughter was born. Our baby was 10 pounds 6 ounces. I cant remember her exact length but I do recall my initial thought when she was finally delivered, "She is so long, she just keeps coming out"
I then looked at my wife in awe that she delivered such a large baby, naturally. I had tears in my eyes and for the first time actually realized just how much my parents loved me. I have never loved them more. There is nothing like parental love. Nothing.
I could never imagine not being in that room. It was the most important moment of my life. These guys are trash.
I had my husband and mother there with me. I needed both of them, and couldn’t have imagined being there without them.
The 3rd guys pants were so so tight. And that is a huge pet peeve for me in fact I like a man in loose fitting clothing who's DRESSED but not doing too much
I’m a modest woman. Which is rough in the world today. Hearings taylor speak of integrity and honor was so great. He’s a good example for younger men.
I know women who don’t want their man in the room for their deliveries because they feel that it’s a beautiful experience for women to have as women. My grandmother CANNOT FATHOM the idea of wanting a man in that room. But in all the cases I know, the father is awake and in the other room WAITING (and usually praying). Not at the bar, or resting. I could see not having him in the room, but the idea of him SLEEPING?!? Nah. Not for me.
"A beautiful experience," yeah, why would you not want to share that with the one you love 😒
Ámala has a top 5 laugh..Everytime she laughs it’s 100% contagious. You can tell she enjoyed this much more than the female version.
I had very traumatic birth experiences (one stillbirth and one that was 1 push away from an emergency c section). I could not imagine not having my spouse there when I went through that
My husband was with me and it was so spiritual and beautiful. Honestly such an amazing experience. I had a cesarean (C-section) and despite being numbed the pulling and tugging from pulling the baby out felt like my actual life was being ripped out of me.. my eyes wide open I saw my husband looking down at me tears streaming down his face hearing him tell me how much he loves me... Truly an undescribable feeling.. feeling the fragility and beauty of love and life were like God showing himself to me. The moment my baby was placed into my arms and she's safe and beautiful and perfect and I could see the joy in his eyes pure relief flowed over my entire existence I got to watch him cut the chord and since that day I've loved him more then I ever even knew possible ❤
In response to the last guy about motherhood... I'll be honest. This conversation gets to me sometimes. I'm 30 and I've known since I was in my early twenties if not sooner that motherhood is not for me. Throughout that time in my life and even sometimes now, I have to listen to people tell me "Oh, you feel that way now, but just wait" or "Not having kids is selfish" or "Fine, if you really hate kids and want no meaning in your life"... These comments erk me to no end. It's not that I hate kids, or that I'm selfish, or want no meaning. I feel no desire to have children of my own. If being a step or foster parent comes to me later in life, I'll give it serious consideration, but I'm not going to go look for it. I'm tired of being made to feel like it makes me a bad person or even a bad woman to not want kids of my own. It amazes me that I've spent years trying to speak with doctors about having a hysterectomy (not just for birth control but other chronic health issues) and I can't get them to even have the conversation with me. It's always about them and how they don't want to sterilize me or what if I change my mind... Yet there are teenage girls cutting off their breasts because they feel like they're a man... and want to be accepted into society... It's ridiculous. I have NOTHING against women or men who want to be parents. It's a beautiful thing when that's a dream for someone and they get to see it fulfilled. But not all of us have that dream and feel that our fulfillment lies with parenthood. Can we please stop the unnecessary judgement.
"I have a medical ailment from watching that"... 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Cracking up!!!!
To me the last guy is so based and so is your response. I'd probably be a great mom but it's not for me. I get a lot of fulfillment from my job, hobbies, pets, and other family. I think your response is based too, don't have a kid if you don't want one! PLEASE!
Childbirth is the most intimate experience you can go through with a partner/spouse. For me bringing my son into the world, with my partner holding my hand was the most magical thing I have ever experienced, and that includes the moment me and my partner made eye contact.