Your words and your lived experiences and your courage have helped me immensely. Grace under pressure = you. I sincerely hope you are receiving good health care & support. I usually listen so was unaware that your health was not good. I wish you well.
Thanks for this message, oversharing is definitely a " no no". I have fallen into that trap more than once, only to get burned. Wisdom and discernment is needed with people, as most are not safe! Blessings be upon you, Dr. Shaler.
Indeed, hate when this happens. So thankful the internet brought this fact to my attention, because I’m always so real and value that, but it is not worth it.
I hope you're well Dr Roberta. This video hit home for me. I have never been an over sharer and after leaving an extremely abusive marriage where the abusive ex and his family made me out to be problematic because I refused to over share with them for years gaslighting me trying to make me believe there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to be a part of their narc cult after years of abuse. they like to pretend they are a close family when all they are is enmeshed and dysfunctional, this video validated me so much. They have tried to get my loved ones to agree with them and tried to turn my loved ones into flying monkeys.the ones who truly know and love me didn't fall for it. They keep trying to smear me and project all of my ex behaviours onto me. I will keep my head up and will not let them win in their attempt to destroy me.
wishing you all the best.....i have been through the same hell..........................once we have the eyes to see what is going on.....................then the only answer is STRONG BOUNDARIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🥺 We all appreciate you and your wisdom so much❤. Sometimes when I feel alone, I just put on a video you have made and I feel better again. God blesd you Miss Shaler😊
I can definitely relate to this unfortunately. I have learned not to overshare recently, but used to all of the time without even knowing, I just wanted to be heard and believed by the people who were around me since I felt so stuck.
When all else fails, and there is no one...there is always that soul inside of yourself that would really like to discuss things. Usually your soul knows exactly what you need, , there is understanding there, and it really is what you are wanting... your own self is enough until you are ready to venture out. You are your own best friend.
Good morning Dr Shaler A very relevant topic that your talking about. I've been guilty of over sharing, and it has ended badly. I've lost more friends sadly who I thought I could confide in and share my story about my Hijackal. At this stage I've now stopped doing it. It's a hard lesson to learn but even now I have to carry on. Things seem a bit hopeless, but I still believe they will work out eventually. You just feel desperate and isolated and almost compelled to share, but we don't go there anymore. Thanks for your knowledge as always and hope you have loved ones that are caring for you. Sending love from the UK xxx
I loved this video. I’m recovering from PTSD..before I knew I had it I trauma dumped in a salon to a hairdresser. I couldn’t understand why I did it because I know better. I can see now how starved I was for emotional air. I felt awful and she was angry with me. I’ll never do that again. This was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks ❤
So sorry 😢 and it’s sad to say i remember doing exactly this a couple of years ago so I understand the feeling, it truly can be like a sudden compulsion to share. I went to a new hairdresser who must’ve thought me crazy and so I’ve no idea why I dumped on her, for almost the whole 2 hours plus! I felt stupid and embarrassed and started to apologise and make jokes about it but i was cringing when I left, and obviously never went back. If you’re naturally previously someone who was bright and sociable and your current life doesn’t allow for this then I think that’s why so don’t feel bad, it can be good to share but I just make sure when I do it’s with newer people outside the area who can’t know certain others with a connection to me/family and I’m almost paranoid about ensuring this, it’s really affecting my life and family relationships (and my partner’s).
I agree ..you can't be yourself ..that's not good. It relationship yes you can make some changes but not everything and things that made you happy...I say still find a way to be yourself talk to others ...be who you are...
@@ktpuss Aww, you’re so nice to share with me. I’m fortunate and I recently went through an intensive course of CPT to heal PTSD. It was challenging and required a lot of reading and worksheets. Going in I had no idea if it would help. But it did! I’m slowly coming back to myself (as I continue to use the process every day). I learned from the therapy that PTSD can cause a compulsion to overshare when in emotion turmoil. That helped me understand and be kinder to myself. I hope you are doing well and have a good day.
@@miacaruso7631 that all sounds great 😊 and also thanks for sharing that with me, I have come to realise I think I may be suffering cptsd made worse by some recent family things and grief. I had looked briefly at doing another YTuber’s work/daily practice so am wondering if you did that one perhaps. It’s great to know it can get you back on track. I started to try to meditate daily as a start but suppose I must do some therapy before I’m lost forever. I wish you continued healing and peace x
@@ktpuss have you ever watched on UA-cam, The Crappy Childhood Fairy? She is wonderful and shares good stuff about healing CPTSD. You are definitely NOT lost forever. I seriously thought I was too. My heart goes out to you. I’m holding heart space for your healing journey. Be well, take care. 💕x
Hoping you have top-notch healthcare.........and you are on your way to full recovery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BE BLESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):):):):)
May God bless you for continuing to help complete strangers for free when you are clearly struggling physically. I know God already sees but I will pray for God to take special note of this. I know God hears me. If you ever wonder if you make a difference know that you do. Your wise words have helped me to cope from an abusive relationship I just escaped 4 months ago. When I left I felt like there was no love in the world. I ended up getting together with my abuser because I was lonely and looking for true love in the first place. My abuser lovebombed me and proceeded to play mind games on me. Once the abuse ended it felt as if my initial fear that love and altruism is an illusion in this world is true. Yet the few people like you stand out as beacons of light and altruism. God is love and you clearly have love inside your heart to be willing to help others even as you struggle. I hope God heals you. I didn't know if he will but I know you will be spiritually blessed for this. Never doubt you have made a huge difference. Your actions are selfless and are imprinted in my mind forever. Love can exist in the human heart. Thank you! You are an inspiration!
I ve been following you for sometime now. It looks like you are are getting better, your voice is stronger and your breath is not coming short as in the past months episodes. Your wisdom has helped me to deal with my HJ adult daughter. I can't thank you enough but can only send you my healing intentions for a faster recovery. Thank you Dr Shaley 🙏 ❤
Wow this was so enlightening & important for me to hear today! I recently endured this a few times in different circles & I'm learning to practice mindfulness & more conscious awareness. Much thanks 🙏
It's so sad especially when they are your parents or adult child and difficult to comprehend that there is no love or empathy. When you do meet someone who appears interested and a kindred soul, it's like opening the door of an overstuffed closet and all the piled up hoarded mess comes tumbling out. You can't stop it and your left with the feelings of shame and empty.
I disagree with why someone overshares. I think sometimes it’s not about gaining a firmed or realionships and just venting so you don’t literally explode when you carry such a heavy weight it’s very toxic to carry it alone and prayer and writing doesn’t help. You need to share it.
I went No Contact w my older sister a few months ago and feel it was the best decision. We were not a good fit. Pretty much our entire relationship consisted of her calling me about once a month. Many times 2 or 3 months would go by. It felt like she was just calling to feel like "a good big sister" (she is 11 years older). Strangley, she and my identical twin have a bond bc they married brothers and have the same last name. It didn't turn out too good for my twin as her husband was a "fast lane" type of guy who did drugs and died suddenly at age 49. A tragedy happened when I was 17 in our family... that was 31 years ago. My older sister has Never admitted she needs help. NEVER encouraged or cheered me on my healing journey. She is currently wondering why I am not answering (even reading) her messages... Put 2 and 2 together, I don't need to explain ANYTHING!
I have heard about you but heard you today for the first time. You are my first miracle in this new year! Thanks for sharing. Be blessed as much as possible. Loving regards, M.
Oh no! I’ve noticed Dr Rhoberta using the oxygen in previous videos, but she looks more tired in this video than usual…. Can anyone tell me what is wrong with Dr Rhoberta, and I really hope she is mending? X
And remember to NOT overshare with the hijackal himself (if it’s a he). He allures you in a trustful moment, you think - oh, he understands, and then, in few days or weeks use the information against you.
So inspiring that you push through these videos. I hope you have better days with your health. I have a chronic health condition too. Hence why I appreciate you doing these videos despite your health.
I sort of over share with bartenders to get their take. I have found strangers/ servers so much more helpful at clear advice than just about anyone except Highjackel informed therapists. I will try but it is a big form or emotional support I get no where else
The problem is I know how important it is to not overshare but when narcissists intentionally overstep your boundaries and pry into your privacy yes that is dangerous but how were you to know it would happen??😢
You seem very sick and exhausted. I hope you prioritize protecting your health and energy. Respectfully, the internet will still be here here when you get back from taking care of yourself.
Please get feeling better, you seem like such a sweet person and we appreciate you so much
When you have no one to talk to then it’s easy to be vulnerable and overstate.
Please get well we need you
Your words and your lived experiences and your courage have helped me immensely. Grace under pressure = you. I sincerely hope you are receiving good health care & support. I usually listen so was unaware that your health was not good. I wish you well.
Been horrible habit to break. And to figure out how it began.
The hijackal requires your loyalty but doesnt give it back. "If you want me to smile at you, you better have the goods for me". This is so well said.
I kinda feel bad for watching, when it seems you are catching your breath and tired. I hope you will recover soon. Feel better 🫂
Thanks for this message, oversharing is definitely a " no no". I have fallen into that trap more than once, only to get burned. Wisdom and discernment is needed with people, as most are not safe! Blessings be upon you, Dr. Shaler.
Sister,Are you okay?What's going on?Feel better soon.❤
She didn’t overshare…
Sad thing is they use
& manipulate information
Take Care if Yourself dear woman
She will be right over
She passed away April 2024 😢
@@Kwood10oh wow! ❤️🩹
Indeed, hate when this happens. So thankful the internet brought this fact to my attention, because I’m always so real and value that, but it is not worth it.
I hope you're well Dr Roberta. This video hit home for me. I have never been an over sharer and after leaving an extremely abusive marriage where the abusive ex and his family made me out to be problematic because I refused to over share with them for years gaslighting me trying to make me believe there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to be a part of their narc cult after years of abuse. they like to pretend they are a close family when all they are is enmeshed and dysfunctional, this video validated me so much. They have tried to get my loved ones to agree with them and tried to turn my loved ones into flying monkeys.the ones who truly know and love me didn't fall for it. They keep trying to smear me and project all of my ex behaviours onto me. I will keep my head up and will not let them win in their attempt to destroy me.
Attempts are what they are!
wishing you all the best.....i have been through the same hell..........................once we have the eyes to see what is going on.....................then the only answer is STRONG BOUNDARIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My big mistake was mistaking enmeshment for relationship. I never knew any of them and they didn't know me. Turns out I was the only one who cared.
I appreciate all of your videos. I feel truly blessed to have your teachings. Sending much Love 💕
🥺 We all appreciate you and your wisdom so much❤. Sometimes when I feel alone, I just put on a video you have made and I feel better again. God blesd you Miss Shaler😊
Truth be told girl. God bless you ❤
Will be sadly missed by so many.😢 RIP Rhoberta you reached out and helped so many sufferers (1945-2024) ❤
I can definitely relate to this unfortunately. I have learned not to overshare recently, but used to all of the time without even knowing, I just wanted to be heard and believed by the people who were around me since I felt so stuck.
When all else fails, and there is no one...there is always that soul inside of yourself that would really like to discuss things. Usually your soul knows exactly what you need, , there is understanding there, and it really is what you are wanting... your own self is enough until you are ready to venture out. You are your own best friend.
@xenatron9056 I really like this comment. I read it as I felt it. These videos are great.
Thank you for the wisdom!
What happened???? I hope you get better🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Good morning Dr Shaler
A very relevant topic that your talking about.
I've been guilty of over sharing, and it has ended badly.
I've lost more friends sadly who I thought I could confide in and share my story about my Hijackal.
At this stage I've now stopped doing it.
It's a hard lesson to learn but even now I have to carry on.
Things seem a bit hopeless, but I still believe they will work out eventually.
You just feel desperate and isolated and almost compelled to share, but we don't go there anymore.
Thanks for your knowledge as always and hope you have loved ones that are caring for you.
Sending love from the UK xxx
I loved this video. I’m recovering from PTSD..before I knew I had it I trauma dumped in a salon to a hairdresser. I couldn’t understand why I did it because I know better. I can see now how starved I was for emotional air. I felt awful and she was angry with me. I’ll never do that again. This was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks ❤
So sorry 😢 and it’s sad to say i remember doing exactly this a couple of years ago so I understand the feeling, it truly can be like a sudden compulsion to share. I went to a new hairdresser who must’ve thought me crazy and so I’ve no idea why I dumped on her, for almost the whole 2 hours plus!
I felt stupid and embarrassed and started to apologise and make jokes about it but i was cringing when I left, and obviously never went back.
If you’re naturally previously someone who was bright and sociable and your current life doesn’t allow for this then I think that’s why so don’t feel bad, it can be good to share but I just make sure when I do it’s with newer people outside the area who can’t know certain others with a connection to me/family and I’m almost paranoid about ensuring this, it’s really affecting my life and family relationships (and my partner’s).
I agree ..you can't be yourself ..that's not good. It relationship yes you can make some changes but not everything and things that made you happy...I say still find a way to be yourself talk to others ...be who you are...
@@ktpuss Aww, you’re so nice to share with me. I’m fortunate and I recently went through an intensive course of CPT to heal PTSD. It was challenging and required a lot of reading and worksheets. Going in I had no idea if it would help. But it did! I’m slowly coming back to myself (as I continue to use the process every day). I learned from the therapy that PTSD can cause a compulsion to overshare when in emotion turmoil. That helped me understand and be kinder to myself. I hope you are doing well and have a good day.
@@miacaruso7631 that all sounds great 😊 and also thanks for sharing that with me, I have come to realise I think I may be suffering cptsd made worse by some recent family things and grief.
I had looked briefly at doing another YTuber’s work/daily practice so am wondering if you did that one perhaps. It’s great to know it can get you back on track. I started to try to meditate daily as a start but suppose I must do some therapy before I’m lost forever. I wish you continued healing and peace x
@@ktpuss have you ever watched on UA-cam, The Crappy Childhood Fairy? She is wonderful and shares good stuff about healing CPTSD. You are definitely NOT lost forever. I seriously thought I was too. My heart goes out to you. I’m holding heart space for your healing journey. Be well, take care. 💕x
Thank you dear lady for this video. It is much needed and appreciated.
Dr Roberta. This is extremely helpful, thank you. I’ll be listening again. Wish I knew years ago- better late than never.
Hoping you have top-notch healthcare.........and you are on your way to full recovery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BE BLESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):):):):)
May God bless you for continuing to help complete strangers for free when you are clearly struggling physically. I know God already sees but I will pray for God to take special note of this. I know God hears me. If you ever wonder if you make a difference know that you do. Your wise words have helped me to cope from an abusive relationship I just escaped 4 months ago. When I left I felt like there was no love in the world. I ended up getting together with my abuser because I was lonely and looking for true love in the first place. My abuser lovebombed me and proceeded to play mind games on me. Once the abuse ended it felt as if my initial fear that love and altruism is an illusion in this world is true. Yet the few people like you stand out as beacons of light and altruism. God is love and you clearly have love inside your heart to be willing to help others even as you struggle. I hope God heals you. I didn't know if he will but I know you will be spiritually blessed for this. Never doubt you have made a huge difference. Your actions are selfless and are imprinted in my mind forever. Love can exist in the human heart. Thank you! You are an inspiration!
I ve been following you for sometime now. It looks like you are are getting better, your voice is stronger and your breath is not coming short as in the past months episodes. Your wisdom has helped me to deal with my HJ adult daughter. I can't thank you enough but can only send you my healing intentions for a faster recovery.
Thank you Dr Shaley 🙏 ❤
Thank you doctor I certainly needed it told exactly like it is. I was so generous with him and others with money and information. It got me NOTHING!
Your sacrifice is noted
Thank you ❤
Excellent! First time I have ever heard about trauma dumping. Makes sense.
Wow this was so enlightening & important for me to hear today! I recently endured this a few times in different circles & I'm learning to practice mindfulness & more conscious awareness. Much thanks 🙏
I am so sorry for your pain ❤️I pray for healing for you. God bless you.
It's so sad especially when they are your parents or adult child and difficult to comprehend that there is no love or empathy. When you do meet someone who appears interested and a kindred soul, it's like opening the door of an overstuffed closet and all the piled up hoarded mess comes tumbling out. You can't stop it and your left with the feelings of shame and empty.
I disagree with why someone overshares. I think sometimes it’s not about gaining a firmed or realionships and just venting so you don’t literally explode when you carry such a heavy weight it’s very toxic to carry it alone and prayer and writing doesn’t help. You need to share it.
She was talking about sharing inappropriately. It can work against us.
Sending you love Roberta. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Now I know why I overshare. I know why I do it. Thankyou for all your videos. I pray you get well soon.
I went No Contact w my older sister a few months ago and feel it was the best decision. We were not a good fit. Pretty much our entire relationship consisted of her calling me about once a month. Many times 2 or 3 months would go by. It felt like she was just calling to feel like "a good big sister" (she is 11 years older). Strangley, she and my identical twin have a bond bc they married brothers and have the same last name. It didn't turn out too good for my twin as her husband was a "fast lane" type of guy who did drugs and died suddenly at age 49. A tragedy happened when I was 17 in our family... that was 31 years ago. My older sister has Never admitted she needs help. NEVER encouraged or cheered me on my healing journey. She is currently wondering why I am not answering (even reading) her messages... Put 2 and 2 together, I don't need to explain ANYTHING!
Doc remember to look after you please 🌻💜
This is such a relevant subject and what I think is most important. Oversharing is self sabotage.
I have heard about you but heard you today for the first time. You are my first miracle in this new year! Thanks for sharing. Be blessed as much as possible. Loving regards, M.
Thank you for taking your energy to do this for us. Take good care of yourself too. Your videos are great!
Feel well I wish you lots of health !!!!!💜 thank you for being a beacon of love and light
We are praying for your full recovery. We truly care about you. Thank you for all these informative and helpful videos 🎥.
Thank you for all of your helpful wisdom! May you be blessed and strengthened in your endeavors! ❤
Her voice is so calming and she brought light to people in need ❤
Dr Shaler, you are an angel. I hope you are ok. ❤ Get better soon.
Needed this Today.
Love you Rhoberta ❤
Thank you for another insightful video. Hope you feel better soon. Warm hugs ❤
Thank you so much for sharing this message at a time when I needed this the most. Hoping you feel better soon ❤
I’m guilty of oversharing & usually regret it 🥴
God Bless you Dr Rhoberta! Thank you for the wonderful message(s). You are greatly appreciated. Hope you get to feeling better soon. ❤❤❤
Thank you and praying for you to get better.
Gossipy friends a problem…
Sending you prayers and good vibes, for perfect breathing and completely perfect health!
Oh no! I’ve noticed Dr Rhoberta using the oxygen in previous videos, but she looks more tired in this video than usual….
Can anyone tell me what is wrong with Dr Rhoberta, and I really hope she is mending? X
"Cat toy" what a great visual!
You’re right about taking stock and stop oversharing. I’d this a trauma response?
And remember to NOT overshare with the hijackal himself (if it’s a he). He allures you in a trustful moment, you think - oh, he understands, and then, in few days or weeks use the information against you.
So inspiring that you push through these videos. I hope you have better days with your health. I have a chronic health condition too. Hence why I appreciate you doing these videos despite your health.
Get better soon your wonderful
Wishing you well Dr.
Hope you make a good recovery
Great video, so true what you have said . I hope you are feeling better soon xxx❤
Thank you for what you do Dr Roberta
I sort of over share with bartenders to get their take. I have found strangers/ servers so much more helpful at clear advice than just about anyone except Highjackel informed therapists. I will try but it is a big form or emotional support I get no where else
The problem is I know how important it is to not overshare but when narcissists intentionally overstep your boundaries and pry into your privacy yes that is dangerous but how were you to know it would happen??😢
I am worried about you ❤️❤️
I am not being rude but what happened to you
You seem very sick and exhausted. I hope you prioritize protecting your health and energy. Respectfully, the internet will still be here here when you get back from taking care of yourself.
Thank you ❤