I'm glad you brought out the impact of biology. That it is a mating haze and not a higher connection such as a soul mate that is drawing you together. I have never let go of commonsense and trusted anyone. My father was too much of a hijackal for me to do this.
I'm sorry that you had a Hijackal father. That does change so much. It's good, though, that you recognized the impact. You can trust people, though, once you recover from a Hijackal. The good news is that, after recognizing Hijackal traits, you'll notice them in new relationships much more quickly.
Your definition answered my question about why my mother in law gives us the silent treatment for 7 months and then demands we come over, over and over 🤣🤣 thank you Dr. Shaler 🙏 So much helpful content.
"Believe me, it got worst!" the behavior of the hijackal does not get better. Ever! Do not give to a black hole. I have tried giving all I have and it is not enough. Why do the hijackals blame you for their happiness and success. Find someone who is on your same wavelength.
10:33 ....they had to have these behaviors in order to survive when they were young. And they're still using them." That was a light bulb moment. Thank you dear doctor.
I am with a hijackal we have two children together and part of it is my fault because I come from an abusive family and I thought I could fix him he came from an abusive first marriage and my need is always to help people and I thought I could love him enough to fix him but all I ever find is that I am blamed for everything and I’m worried that this is going to rub off on our children and make them high jackals I just need the tools to navigate my life with him and to deal with his behaviors so that it doesn’t destroy me in the process
The person that said "give until it hurts" was obsessed with pain and left people to die without medical treatment, it's sad that the people that donated money to mother Teresa thought that it was going to help the sick when in reality the money went to the catholic church and she never built a hospital.
I am pretty sure my SO is a hijackal. We just scheduled marriage therapy, do you think that Hijackals can seek help and unlearn their tendencies? I love him so much (when he is affectionate and not hurtful) and don’t want to lose my stepdaughter also in the process.
If he is really a Hijackal, he will endeavor to seduce and manipulate the therapist to join him in further making things your fault. If he has some behaviors that are "Hijackal-like" and he truly wants to be free of them, you'll soon see. As a general rule, real Hijackals don't love you, they use you. Be careful not to confuse the two, or think that your loving him will change him. OK?
Yes, borderline personality disordered people have passive-aggressive tendencies. Most #Hijackals do. Whether or not passive-aggressive people cheat is a very individual situation in my experience. Often, passive-aggressive people are too lazy to cheat. One thing, for sure: if they do cheat, they will lie about it because they are conflict-adverse.
Recent research suggests that they may get a little less entitled in their forties, but nothing usually changes with their levels of empathy. Outside of research, my experience tells me that their behaviors get more entrenched, and their demands get more abrasive.
I'm glad you brought out the impact of biology. That it is a mating haze and not a higher connection such as a soul mate that is drawing you together. I have never let go of commonsense and trusted anyone. My father was too much of a hijackal for me to do this.
I'm sorry that you had a Hijackal father. That does change so much. It's good, though, that you recognized the impact. You can trust people, though, once you recover from a Hijackal. The good news is that, after recognizing Hijackal traits, you'll notice them in new relationships much more quickly.
Mine says they don't remember what they did or said.
Your definition answered my question about why my mother in law gives us the silent treatment for 7 months and then demands we come over, over and over 🤣🤣 thank you Dr. Shaler 🙏 So much helpful content.
You're so welcome!
Wow! That intro was what I heard, word for word!
"Believe me, it got worst!" the behavior of the hijackal does not get better. Ever! Do not give to a black hole. I have tried giving all I have and it is not enough. Why do the hijackals blame you for their happiness and success. Find someone who is on your same wavelength.
I found this info very helpful as well as surprising.
10:33 ....they had to have these behaviors in order to survive when they were young. And they're still using them." That was a light bulb moment. Thank you dear doctor.
Thank you for this. It is hard to hear, but you have my attention.
You're welcome. I hope you'll watch other videos and listen to my Save Your Sanity podcast. SaveYourSanityPodcast.com
I am with a hijackal we have two children together and part of it is my fault because I come from an abusive family and I thought I could fix him he came from an abusive first marriage and my need is always to help people and I thought I could love him enough to fix him but all I ever find is that I am blamed for everything and I’m worried that this is going to rub off on our children and make them high jackals I just need the tools to navigate my life with him and to deal with his behaviors so that it doesn’t destroy me in the process
Wow Mother Nature 🙈 helped mess my life up 😂 made me feel less stupid. Thanks for the insight And so true. X
You are so welcome
I wish you were still here 💔💔💔😢😢😢☮️
No, I'm sorry I believe some know. But I'll keep listening..never know.
The person that said "give until it hurts" was obsessed with pain and left people to die without medical treatment, it's sad that the people that donated money to mother Teresa thought that it was going to help the sick when in reality the money went to the catholic church and she never built a hospital.
The more you pour and pour the more the abuse gets
Sadly, true! Hijackals love people who over-give because one of their favorite sports is over-taking and demanding more.
thank you for this
You're very welcome!
I am pretty sure my SO is a hijackal. We just scheduled marriage therapy, do you think that Hijackals can seek help and unlearn their tendencies? I love him so much
(when he is affectionate and not hurtful) and don’t want to lose my stepdaughter also in the process.
If he is really a Hijackal, he will endeavor to seduce and manipulate the therapist to join him in further making things your fault. If he has some behaviors that are "Hijackal-like" and he truly wants to be free of them, you'll soon see.
As a general rule, real Hijackals don't love you, they use you. Be careful not to confuse the two, or think that your loving him will change him. OK?
Good content
Thank you. I'm glad you found it helpful.
Are borderlines personality disorder have passive aggressive tendencies ?
And do Passive aggressive ppl cheat ?
Yes, borderline personality disordered people have passive-aggressive tendencies. Most #Hijackals do.
Whether or not passive-aggressive people cheat is a very individual situation in my experience. Often, passive-aggressive people are too lazy to cheat. One thing, for sure: if they do cheat, they will lie about it because they are conflict-adverse.
Is this the case with a mother in law
Do they get worse as they age ?
Recent research suggests that they may get a little less entitled in their forties, but nothing usually changes with their levels of empathy. Outside of research, my experience tells me that their behaviors get more entrenched, and their demands get more abrasive.
And their behavior spreads to other. The entitlement grows with age. The blame grows with age. If they are 40, is change really possible.
❤
Hijackals hang out in packs
I know a family...they all think the same damn way.