The 5 Stages of Divorce
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- Опубліковано 24 лип 2024
- This Vlog is about my recent journey through Divorce. I break it down to the "5 stages of Grief" and talk about my experience with
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and then Acceptance...
This in no way reflects the vast experiences that each, individual person faces when going through a breakup, separation and divorce. This is a summary of my own experiences and how I arrived on the other side of divorce as a new, whole person.
I hope this resonates with women who are feeling lonely, ashamed, guilty or lost during their own divorce- wherever you are in the process.
Please message me and ask me any questions you may have on this subject. My heart goes out to you and I want you to know that you're not alone.
xoxo
Lavenda
Resources And Articles:
grief.com/the-five-stages-of-g...
www.livestrong.com/article/126...
www.everydayhealth.com/hs/majo...
Music: www.bensound.com
LET'S CONNECT...
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@lavendascloset
My Blog:
www.lavendascloset.com
Snapchat:
@lavendamemory
Twitter: @lavendasclosest
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Music: www.bensound.com
I gave it my all ... 25 years of faithful marriage, struggled to pay 4 years of college for my daughter, had a series of 3 heart surgeries and lost my career due to illness ... just to find out all the sudden this week that my wife has decided to move out with my 21 year old daughter and start a new life without me ... I sit alone, empty, lost ... I never knew a human could suffer as much loss as I have in one lifetime and still draw breath ... thanks for the video, I needed the cry
Sending love to you
I'm sorry your going through this. My husband of 32 years walked out once I became disabled, and after I raised our 2 kids primarily alone, paid off all his debts, cared for him after heart surgery, and two knee replacements. Now he continues to verbally abuse me and has become violent due to stopping all his meds. I'm now having to block his calls and Facebook for my own sanity. I honestly think those of us with longer marriages suffer even more extensively.
Hello. I am reading this 5 years late but I hope you are doing okay. I hope you filled your life with new colors and you are glad everything turned out the way it did. Sending you hugs.
I experienced these stages during the marriage, not the divorce. Lots of marriages are abusive, in those kinds of marriages, you could of been grieving and feeling loss all the way through. Divorce is then confusing and difficult but you may not go through those typical stages. For me it was like excitement, relief, excitement, anger, resentment, flashbacks then settling on being glad it didn't end later than it did.
I know this is such an old comment, but I have never related more to a comment than this one.
Exactly what I’m experiencing
This is me! Same feelings.
@@ashleynicolass me too
Ditto ..
It hurts more when children are involved.
So much more 😢
so true
I agree 💔
Yeah...
Fitness by Fee absolutely, completely
Im a man and everything you are saying i went through. Im the one trying to keep it together and i have gone through all those stages. So its not just the females
I'm sorry man, I was there and all it did was cost me more!
Honest Jaye oh man, I’m going through this as I watch this video. I never want to feel like this again
If I hear one more person say they grieved the loss of their marriage DURING their marriage I think I’ll scream! My soon to be ex-wife says that yet...after 21 YEARS of marriage, 21 years of me being there and being faithful, she just couldn’t be bothered with actually talking to ME about it...I was just supposed to KNOW we were in peril. She just LEFT. No trying, no discussion, NOTHING. What a QUITTER! Now...my two kids and I are left to make sense out of all this...women out there...suck it up please and try like HELL to SAVE your marriages! They’re not supposed to just be conveniently ditched when tough times hit...FIGHT for it!
I agree. But you know how some women are.
Tomulator dude!!! Exact same thing happened to me!!! Women want guys to be troopers for what? So they can be the ones that bounce? It’s really devastating. As soon as she gets a baby out of me she leaves. Go finds another guy and like you said without warning. The next woman I find...I’m gonna date her for 3yrs before I even get engaged to her. My brothers girlfriend is a trooper!! His baby moms did him the same way. His girlfriend he has now took care of him for a year because he had no job because of his baby moms. It’s like they could have left a long time ago before this shit. They leave when it’s Convenient for them. When it’s inconvenient for the guy. I feel like it was all played out honestly. Narcissistic behavior
I’m going through divorce and watching my husband date some new girl. I can’t eat or sleep. Every second is unbearable anxiety and panic. I hold back tears all day because I miss my husband and my marriage and my old life so bad! This is a level of depression and loneliness I can’t describe. It IS a raw feeling like you’re walking around with no skin.
Stop Saying Literally this is exactly what I am experiencing now. It’s a dark and hopeless feeling. How are you now, two months later?
Wow I can’t believe it’s been two months since I wrote that. I’m better, but I had to put in the work. Every day is a struggle to get in the right mindset and you have to look only forward and never back. It’s true what everyone tells you, take care of yourself, be nice to yourself, visit family and friends (I know that’s difficult during Covid virus) and focus on YOU. Believe better things are coming and in your head at least realize if he left you in this much pain then he doesn’t love or care about you. Your heart will probably still miss him for a long while but it does get a little easier each day.
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@@Taran532 😭
Watching this as I pack my stuff to move out of our home. I’m insanely sad and heartbroken most of all because my son is 2 and kept putting his toys back in his room. Thank you for this video it honestly helped a bit
It's hard to be a single mom..
Awe I’m so sorry. How are you doing now?
Currently going through this with my toddler. I’m so heartbroken. I hope you’re doing better
Hope your ok Becky.... Its hard, but be strong, things will be alright.. good luck 🙏
🙏🙏🙏
feeling extreme loneliness.grief.rage.depression.
Amina I'm right there with you...
Amina me too..so much pain in the last few years...the last time I was really happy when I met my husband.
get a loving partner ..sex will save the day xx
Amina hi from karachi
You are in my prayers. Be stron
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
I went through a lot of financial crisis during my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college.
I'm a single dad. Not quite long I started investing. I'm very curious and need help on how to enhance and increase my returns. Any good investment tips would be appreciated
@@eadad4371 Generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with (Regina Louise Collaro) an investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance.She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her.
She made me financially stable investing through her help, now I earn on a monthly basis through her passive income strategy... So I’ll advise you do get a good Investment advisor for yourself.
@@stephaniefythm That’s great , your investment advisor must be really good,I have seen testimonies of people using the help of investment advisors in making them more financial stable. Do you mind sharing more info on this person?
@@eadad4371 look her up on the internet and leave her a message she's quite popular for her services as she was recently featured on cnn. She can work with anyone irrespective of where their located
@@stephaniefythm After I ended my marriage last year, I have had the intentions of starting investing. But I always thought it was late and I think I need to stop procrastinating. I will definitely 🔍 Regina Louise Collaro and see what she can advise .Thanks a lot . This was of so much help to me .
You're so strong and beautiful. Thanks girl. I'm 2 weeks post legal separation. So, I'm not sure I'm in denial ... anger ... just yet? Everything is a bit "messy" emotionally and I'm definately feeling all kinds of emotions ... when you spoke about Ella ... girl I have no idea how you stopped yourself from crying ... I'm BALLING over here thinking about my son. He's only 2 years old and I feel so much guilt. I feel I owe him my life and a debt of finding a "good" father for him ... (in place of my ex) ... all I know is, he deserves a family ... but thanks girl. I can't believe you're so brave to talk about it. I'm ever grateful for your video.
This video speaks to my soul. I'm going through such a painful divorce. I'm so broken and shattered, I don't even know whether I'm coming or going but seeing you doing so well and being so strong gives me hope. This pain is immense but you've shown it can be overcome . Thanks for sharing your story.
Afton Titus sending you my love babe.
Afton Titus have you recovered. I’m struggling!!!
Hope you are going better now. I'm just now going through it
My wife of 6 1/2 years left me for another person it’s been 2 months and I’m at the anger stage but for the past week I’ve been accepting the fact my wife doesn’t love me anymore. I keep on telling myself I’m 23 and I still have long way to go. The biggest blessing are my 2 daughter. Thank you for the video 👍
Oscar Mora I know exactly where you are coming from Oscar! I had dated a woman for 5 years before getting married last year. Fast forward a year later she began having an affair with another person. I had walked in and seen someone else in our bed, but it was what I needed to see for closure. It ultimately damages a person to the core. But time heals wounds! And like you said ultimately you must accept that this person no longer loves you, thus work on moving on to find happiness with someone else who will appreciate you.
Ughh!!!! I feel like I have a mental illness!! Panic and anxiety every single minute of the day!! I know it will go away,as long as I keep crawling forward! Each day gets easier until one day......You dont think of this person anymore,almost like being addicted to something if you dont have it you eventually get over it!!!!!! That is the day I am waiting for!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant go backwards or I will have to start the process all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m so sorry. I know how consuming that can feel too. :(
No family
No home
No job
Massive anxiety
I feel the same way, it's the beginning for me and I dont know how I can overcome and live with this.
Melissa Mercado same here...it’s so hard and scary 😞
Yes
This gives me hope , going through a separation/divorce is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Thank you for sharing your story!
I'm sorry to hear that, I hear you. You would like my channel I talk about it there.
oh my gosh, I am balling my eyes out and I literally just FELT your pain. I am in this exact spot. I can barely get up every day, work, and enjoy anything in life. I have tons of guilt for ways I ruined our relationship and I need to forgive myself and take it as a blessing and just learn from it. That SO much easier said than done.
Thank you!!! This described me almost exactly. I really struggled with the guilt of not making it work and letting things go so far. I'm just now working through the acceptance process
I'm still married (been together for 6 years) and I feel like I have gone through many of these stages already. It hurts when there is emotional abandonment from the other person, and they don't even seem to care about you or your feelings at all. I've been thinking about divorce for a long time, but I've always been scared to leave because I've never really been on my own, and alone. There are so many pros and cons to leaving, and it feels like I'm going to lose no matter what I do. In a weird way I blame a lot of where I am at now from my childhood, and never feeling loved or having a stable life with people who love me. Like I was raised to just accept less because I'm unworthy of love and acceptance. I was never shown how to take care of myself or be on my own or love myself...I'm learning more everyday how to do that but it is extremely hard to walk in self love when the person you are with doesn't seem to really like or even love you. Feels lonely and horrible to be honest.
I have someone who can help you out he help me get my family back I believe he can also help you out is not too late try contact him on Wh'atappz +2348116765476
Same situation 🥺😭
@@yusraabdallah7870 😭 same....
This sounds like I'm the one who typed it....story of my life 😢😢😢
I’m in the middle of a divorce, but I already went through the stages, now my heart literally hurts at night. I am doing me in the day, but at night I’m so sad and I can’t see myself ever being with another man intimately or loving another man, I’m so attached to him.
I understand you. I feel the same way about my ex-wife. I was so attached to her that I just don't feel like I can love another woman ever again
I’m going through this right now and I hurt so bad when night comes
Sorry to hear you're going through it and all of the rest of you that commented. Its not fun, its not glamorous, its hurtful, life altering, and impactful. I understand what you said.
This is the side of relationships you don't see often in Hollywood or media (traditional or social). Protip: if you ladies watch Real Housewives just Google how many of those couples got divorced! My soon to be ex wife binged watched that Bravo stuff and made me sit through it also. Focus on your HEALTH (physical, emotional and mental), your income and your kids. That's it, those 3. Life is short. Don't jump into relationships, usually they don't end well!
Hi how are you doing now? I would love to hear it as I'm just starting this process and my heart so bad the whole day :( x
Thank you for the video. I've just started the my process but feels like when you say "swinging back and forth" I feel like I'm swinging through the phases. Not sure why, but just listening to you talk through it really impacted me. None of my friends have gone through this so it's really difficult to find someone to speak to with experience. Thank you for the video.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really exposed what I'm currently going through in my marriage. I've just arrived to the point of acceptance. I've been a stay at home mom for about 4 years, so I'm working on figuring out how to work out my financial situation before I tell him it's time.
He seems to be in denial although I've expressed that, "At some point we will no longer be together. I'm basically here for the kids."
We first talked divorce in January. He came back on father day and said he was sorry and wanted to work everything out. Yesterday and stills me he wants to let me go because ues depressed and feels like hes holding me back. I was blindsided. The last 5 weeks were amazing. Im so heartbroken. Im so shattered. He said he never wanted to be married and he just didnt want to see me with someone else. Im a hot mess right now. I dont know where to go or what to do. I just want to lay in bed and cry. I dont want this. 8 years Dating, 3 years married and its all over.
I miss my wife so much.. i took her for granted.. i nvr felt like such a failure. Shes the most beautiful person i hv ever met and somehow we allowed Satan to get between us... she has run from me completely, and i feel so alone and broken... if i could hv her back i would treat her like the queen she deserves to be... but right now it doesnt seem at all possible, she hates me.. im working on all of my faults, staying in the gym and putting a lot of effort into work bc its so hard... she was my first wife, im her third husband. I hurt for her bc i feel like its not her thats the problem, its everyone shes trusted in... i lost that and i know im guilty of it... but i know this, i love that woman so damn much even still and im so willing to change everything about me that would make her happy. She deserves it, but its to late now... all i can do it ask God for forgiveness and help and i pray over her and the kids... i truly hope she can find happiness in whatever comes nxt in her life and i hope she can find forgiveness in her heart for me.. i will always love her and will forever regret the way i let her down. I love you Brittany. 😔 you truly are an Angel.
Brother I’m right there with you. I made the mistake and I can’t imagine my life without my wife but she’s set in stone that she wants divorce. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this
Brother anything is possible. My prayers get answered. Pray to God seek forgiveness CRY in front of him. Ask him to send your wife somehow in your life without others intervention. And from youtube play in your home at am/ afternoon SURAH YASIN or SURAH REHMAAN. Please dont be put off, these are in arabic normally recited by a man. And can be loud and at least 8- 16 mins long. Peace from England UK.
@@miguelsoria2174 Brother my prayers get answered I believe in God, the most Merciful. Fear not for this too shall pass. Read my answer to the other brother. Peace from England UK
@@miguelsoria2174 😭
Stop always asking God for help. That is the problem. You and she are the problem. You sort it out, not God.
You are amazing and brave. This has helped me so much right now. I’m going through all of this at the moment. I feel like there aren’t enough people who are sharing their experiences like this. I can relate so much to the being in denial in the relationship to try to preserve that idea that was built up by religious thoughts and just from thoughts of being a good person. I held onto that for so much longer than I should have and held so much guilt as a result that I’m still shedding and contending with. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It has really helped me to not feel so alone going through this.
As a father who is going through this right now, you hit the nail right on the head. Your words really gave me a more positive outlook on the whole situation....
I really needed this today as I am going through something similar with my little boy and my four year old daughter Ella. Thank you for your strength!
Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to your whole little family. It's so painful, but you will get through it. Pain is a part of our lives and luckily, with mamas who love their kids, we tend to have this super-human resource that you'll tap into to make it work- one day at a time. How are things now? I know you wrote this 3 months ago....?
Hi
Thank you for sharing your experience. It means the world. I can so relate to you. I also have a daughter who is 3 years old and going through a divorce. Please keep me in your prayers. I feel so scared of the unknown.
I know of a powerful doctor who is capable of helping people to bring their ex back he helpe mi also when my heart was broken in 8months. Message him and be free.
+1 ,,,.9 14 22 8 , ,20 41.
that's so brave of you sharing your own experience. It is not easy to stand out and expose the vulnerability of you to the public. I am formally 5-month post-separation now and will be getting the divorce paperwork done later this year. I guess I am kind at the stage of depression and find it extremely difficult to go over this. Deeply inside I know things will pass eventually but when I am still experiencing this, I just can't be as fine as I expected.
Thanks for spreading the positive energy. It always takes time.
Thank you for sharing. While you released this years ago, it helped me today. My divorce was finalized 6/12/19 and I relate to being “raw”!
I appreciate you.
Awww i'm speechless! Sending you a BIG HUG all the way to u Lavenda 🙆🏻 stay strong for your daughter ✨
+Aldora Muses Thanks so much girl! Hope you have a great weekend.
Thanks for doing this video. The way you described the stages starting even before the divorce technically takes place echoes what I've been experiencing. Watching this helped me a lot.
It's been a year for me and I feel numb most of the time. But the rest of the time that I dont, there's this twinge that doesn't go away. And there are times when I just feel tired. Rainy days are the worst. And dreams still haunt me. Thank you for reminding me that there will be light at the end of this tunnel.
Thank you I feel a little less alone right now. When you know it’s the best for everyone envolved yet you can’t stop crying because it’s over.
Don't get married...its a scam.
It isn't just the woman that financially rapes you. The judges and lawyers rape you also as you have NO RIGHTS including NO Constitutional Rights in Family Court. Figure in reality that she gets 60% (inc support payments, etc), you get 20%, and the 'system' keeps the other 20%.
The whole common saying that she 'gets half' isn't really accurate. Many men have been left with NOTHING.
I didn’t get married. But lived together for 12 years. And had 2 kids. I don’t think it’s fully about being married or not that’s its a scam. Yes it has its legal issues. But I think it’s more about loosing yourself in a relationship and forcing yourself to stay for which ever reasons that has its effects for splitting up. And choosing what is called love but actually not knowing what actual love is. Once the person becomes totally explored do you get bored and loose interest? Then if so what is love to you. Is the question. Must ask yourself to whom it may concern.
sla cker yes that is one way to live. But to truly understand and grasp the difficulties and the positives of having a long term partner and having kids with them. It kinda helps make sense to a you why the way of Family exists. To be in a group of 2 people with off spring that you guys created. And those off spring have elements of both adults. It brings this special love feeling and understanding that I never knew existed. You get to see the goods and bads in the way things are in your own personalities of you and your loved one in the children. It’s very weird when you see your child acting a certain way and the other spouse steps in and says a certain thing because they are aware of that way of acting, which was not biologically your way., Having kids really teaches a person lot more about themselves and their childhood. I think being a parent for some A person can dip in and out of scenarios that they would never experience otherwise. It’s always easy to care for other people‘s kids because they’re only around for a little bit. But when you have your kids that are around forever it takes a different approach and understanding. I’m still learning myself and maybe I’ll learn for the rest of my life but I feel like at some point it will all make sense. To live with no’s spouse or children possibly could be a great miss for some of that life has to offer. To be old and never participated in that part of life would seem kind of single oriented. Almost like a person never dared to take on life to its fullest they may have played it safe by only having to look after themselves which is not too hard to do. Hope all that makes sense.
Scam ? It's a business for women
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Loved hearing your story Lavenda! You seem to be recuperating well and not letting your divorce bother you.
Thank you.
I was married for 10 months and over all with my husband for 1.5 years. I’m going thru the denial phase and each day is a constant up and down battle. I left and thought it was all my fault. I don’t hate him I love him and bc I left he couldn’t take my back bc of his family. I just want to keep my head up and do all the right steps to help myself thru this. Thank you for this video ♥️
Going through this now. Thank you for sharing your story and experiences ❤️
Finally reached the “Acceptance” stage.
Hi
Hello
@@K4R3Nhw r u
@@suchkojano1 ha, well we have sold our large family home we have all been living for ten years. Soon to be ex wife (married almost 20 years!) has her own place and I am getting my own.. 3 kids we will share. Entire life I have lived.with family, first day I will be alone in 43 years begins tomorrow. The relationship was not working. I will miss the kids. Trying to be brave. But I have good new job and I am focusing on my health. Ready for the future! CALM future in my control. ;)
@@K4R3N where you from
My sister is going through this right now. Thank you for sharing this maybe I can help her now.
Thank you so much for this video. I actually saw it a little over a year ago in the beginning of these stages. Your video came back around and because my eyes are a little more open , was able to receive and understand something more a different from the first time 😭💕
You are so sweet and beautiful. Whoever lost you is crazy. I don't know you other than this video, but I only hope after my divorce that I can find someone like you. You are physically magnetic, such a sweet voice, and most of all, your empathy towards your daughter. Your new bf is one lucky fella. May God Bless you and your journey. May only good things come your way.
-Nick
This is why you shouldn't start another relationship before you're completely over the grief. It's not fair to a new person in your life. Your unfinished business will rear its head and ultimately damage your new life.
Hahahah
HAHAHAHAHAHA
You never "get over" certain grief. A person who was in a long term abusive relationship and went through divorce will never be the same. So if anyone feels that way, make sure you don't date anyone with "baggage" or trauma or mental health issues. Goodluck with that
That is even more foolish to start q relstionship in dating a married person. Why not do things differently
I hope this happens to my soon to be ex
Pat Gray time really helps, but yes. All relationships takes work. The best chance we have at staying in one is to work on ourselves and then expect to have a lot of grace and experience a lot of compromise. :)
Bye Bye Belly that’s definitely a whole other level of difficulty. Which I’ve experienced. :(
I just filed for divorce. Married 4 going on 5 years and I also have a yound daughtet. I immediately began crying my eyes out when you said you were extremely lonely. I agree that we begin the stages of divorce while still married. I was no longer happy and sometimes less than nice to my beautiful baby girl because of the shit I felt. Thank you for sharing your story. I was truly at a low moment and hearing your similar story helped me.
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Hi Lavenda, I know this was many years ago and I hope you're still on your journey to healing. I just wanted to comment that Brene Brown says that it is OK, and in fact important, to allow our children to see us struggle. This normalizes struggle and provides them a model for coping.
Thank you. Open, heartfelt and simply talking straight up.
The following doesn't degenerate or creates division between what a woman or man goes through: I would say it could be either person who may carry extreme guilt or remorse for the effects on their children. It's neither more or less irrespective if you are the mother or father but it depends on the individual mindset irrespective of gender.
There's a stereotypical image of what men and women are like in divorce but reality is far removed from these stereotypes.
I really appreciate your video and the advice you gave. Thank you so much. 🙏❤️
My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
Thank you so much! My divorce papers were finalized today and I am a roller coaster. Honestly I’ve just thrown myself into more jobs, more side hustles, fitness class ever since we started having problems just to distract myself from what’s happening. I’m really scared to actually let myself feel these emotions because I know they will be rough when they hit. Everyone says I’m so strong to go through this, but I really don’t accept it...I feel weak. I feel scared. I feel anxious. Any advice for dealing with feeling weak when everyone else says you’re strong?
Its been three years. Wondering how you feel now?
Lavenda, this is a beautiful but tearful message to me. I know that I am a man and all, but I am going to share this with my soon to be ex wife. I still love her so very much and right now I am having to type through the tears. We were married Almost 13 years and we have 3 awesome children together. I cried all through the part of you talking about taking out some frustrations on your child and God knows I have done it and still do at times. All I want to do is be the Best Dad that I can be for my children. I see so many things in my time of being married to a beautiful lady that I know that I should have been doing more of and better at. I continually beat myself up for those things. But I know in my heart that I cannot change her mind now. I want to be happy again someday, and If God has it in his plans then I might meet someone else that will be a good fit for me again.... And hopefully to God I have learned my lessons. Telling People That You Love Them Doesn't Prove Anything !!! IT'S HOW YOU SHOW THEM THAT MATTERS THE MOST. Take it from someone that has the recent experiences of losing the 3rd best thing that has ever happened to me. What are the two things ahead of her? Being Saved By The Grace of God will always be #1 and then Our Children, that she had as much a part of creating as I did. Thanks for sharing your stories and you definitely have a new fan.
David Norris
Wow thanks for the honesty I am just now leaving the denial and anger phase and moving into bargaining and depression
I appreciate your honesty, so refreshing during this hard time.
Thank you for sharing! Going through separation...taking it one day at a time. Blessings!
Sending you my love girl. I know it's rough.
Stay strong
Thank you for sharing! This means a lot to me at this point of my life!❤️🙏🏻🍀 Blessings to your brave soul! Rise in light that you are☀️
Thank you for sharing this I am going thru this right now and this makes me feel less alone ! ❤️ I feel as I am at a crossroad not knowing what to do but deep in my heart I know what I have to do
this helped me knowing that i wasn't crazy feeling this way. i have only been divorced for less than a week. married for almost 3 years. it really sucks and hurts, you do feel alone a lot of the times. you feel like people don't understand what you're going through emotionally. depression and anxiety are definitely real during this. your emotions are all over the place. thank you for posting this. i cried while watching this. but in comfort. it really helped me to understand that this is normal but i will eventually overcome it. we are friends now! lol
rebecca woodward
I have the same situation, we don't love each other, but I don't know how to move on. I have traditionally family and society. Please help me with something!
Shanoela Zace how are you doing now? I feel so hopeless
Shanoela Zace time is your best friend. Your bible, journaling, inspirational books... spend as much time crying when you can and then a lot of time outdoors or with your friends and family. :)
@@lavendascloset i really need this. I am going thru a difficult stage. I think it is somewhere between denial and anger. Can anyone link me up to a support group? I feel awful
This is motivational...
I don’t think I’m going to make it thru this
You will take it from me.
How are you? I feel so broken yet hopeful
Hope your in a better place and that your heart has been healing, Sis.
You will make it u are strong and God's got u.
Hiya i dont know anything about you but Sometimes the evil eye, another woman and black magic are behind many breakups, fights and divorces. Taz trust your instincts who you let around your children , niece's, and who you let in your life. Take extra care when going on holidays and who to trust around your children Peace from England UK
I'm only half way through and I have say thank you for this vid. It's so nice to know I'm not the only one going through this.
Our stories are almost identical it's scary, I appreciate your vulnerability and strength to share.
My parents divorced just today and.....I can't do anything anymore I feel like everything is falling apart....
Definitely talk to them love. I know how overwhelming it feels, but I PROMISE it gets better. :)
It will be okay. My parents divorced today too... my mom said “Me and dad need to talk to you two at dinner” (me and my sister) and they told us they are getting divorced. I’m scared and sad
KIAM DEAR 😢
KIAM DEAR same😢😢
It is a bit selfish of them.
I know someone this will really help. At the moment they only see a bleak future. Hearing your story will give them hope xx
I am currently going through this, the separation actually began 4 days ago. After everything that's happened I had started to lose hope. This video gave me hope again.
Mine is a month now
I was married for 9 years I guess I'm going through anger and depression.
thank you for the video
Lara daigneault you're welcome love.
You're are such a courageous person..i wish i am one as well.
Thanks for this. it helps me to understand my friends who go thru this. Your honesty and strength shine thru. thanks.
I’m going through this right now. Thank you for this video. You are a beautiful amazing mommy. Thank you.
Wow! I am just starting the process and have had my ups and downs for a few years now. I can't thank you enough for sharing this with the world. I woke up this morning in a funk :( This is exactly what I needed to hear and know. Thank you for being the beautiful brave woman and mother that you are.
Peace and Smiles!
Rhonda
A lot of people don’t understand this but a divorce/separation is a sign of relief and away out for the best... like my situation.
Your so amazing ! Every single word meant alot . This video was needed at this time .
I loved your video! I know someone that is going through divorce that I really care for. Wish I could talk to you. I cannot reveal too much here, but your video really helped even me. Thank you and I hope you respond! You have no idea how much your video helped me see things better and deal with my own issues!
as a single mother of two and an extremely difficult breakup i NOW realize how strong i am and was trying my best to tell a friend she too will get through this (as her and her hubby are now separating after 17 years) but couldn't remember how to address all of the "stages" because it was over three years ago but you, and your experiences will certainly provide the insight she needs. Im happy to share this with her i feel as though it will be a big help. God bless you and your daughter 💜💙❤
Well done! You talked your Headless friend to come out of her 17yr old marriage. Because of high level of pollution their are higher number of people with cognitive problems, misinterpretation and misrepresentation takes turn but not always the case, out of 17yrs old marriage has underline greediness as a reason. I have upper hand when it comes to the children attention and ears, I may as well have them alone for myself now we are about to start seeing the benefits of having a child or children.
I'm also going on to 3 years almost post divorce and I'm happy to stumble upon this video. It was nice hearing about someone else's experience.
I also have a daughter, she just turned 4 and I find myself struggling with guilt about her not having her parents together. She's often telling me she wants "mommy and daddy together" and it makes me so sad and upset when I hear it. I also am in a relationship now so, I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from, lol. Any advice? Loved loved this video. Thank you for sharing!
+Jennifer Hey girl! You know, my daughter did the same thing. It broke my heart and I felt like I was failing her. But divorce doesn't happen lightly so you know that you're on a better path. Even if it's painful. If you focus on letting her talk and cry. Giver her words to her broken heart and let her know that it's okay to be sad. Let her know that you're sad too. That will help her grieve and then move on. Her feelings are normal, so embrace them and hold her when she's sad. Hope that helps. My heart goes out to you.
Hey, I'm currently going through separation and my boy is 2yo. Is your daughter doing better now? It breaks my heart imagining my boy being hurt because mommy and daddy aren't together.
Thank you so much for sharing. I'm am just about to go through this and am so grateful for you and this video.
Thank you so much for this video. I cried throughout this entire video. I'm going through every stage.
This is literally what I am going through right now. It’s been 7 years and nothing has changed. He’s a serial cheater and does absolutely nothing for me but provide for me and our son. I caught him cheating again after we got back together from a separation and close divorce where HE begged for me to make it work again. He finally told me he’s done and wants the divorce, how he is unhappy and it will never get better and although I know deep in my heart he is right and I want the same thing, it’s so painful. I can’t eat or sleep.
I needed to see this video. I'm trying to write this through streams of tears. Thank you for sharing your experience. How open and honest you were with it. I know you felt what I feel now. It hurts so bad. Soo so bad. But, you got through the storm and that gives me hope. I have a five year old and it's killing my soul knowing what he's observing and him realizing the family he loves so much is ending. He used to tell us every day, " Mommy, daddy... I love my family. " I'm broken. I did everything I could.
DR ORDIA was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems 🙏
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Trell NBA thank you so much for this. I will definitely look Dr. Ordia up. Much gratitude 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for sharing it gives us women strength listening to you and there is hope
going through this right now thank you so much for this video. It really has helped.
I'm so glad to hear that. How are you doing now....? I didn't see this last month when you wrote.
I'm going through divorce and it has been so difficult for me this couple of months, what kills me it's the fact that he is in another relationship already. Makes me wonder that I did everything wrong in our relationship, but I know it was both of our faults, even though he walked out and blame me for everything. I'll I could do is move forward. Thanks for this video.
How are you feeling now? I am very close to file for divorce... but I am afraid of being alone. I also wonder what I am going to feel if I see him with someone else... although I know we just cannot stay together. He cheated on me and I don't want to stay with him because I can never trust him again. :(
Muriel Gonzalez men always seem to move on so fast
oh girls am going through divorce after living together for 2months and marriage for 2 years my hasband. leave me very badly the country i don't know and he said he didn't want the marriage
Muriel Gonzalez may god heal you and send you a loving partner to love you out of sadness, i truly am so hurt for you! Im going through separation so hard 😭
I'm going through a separation right now and it honestly just feels good to be able to relate to someone out there that is going through a similar situation especially to know that there is hope. Sending your daughter and you lots of love. Xoxoxo
Oh, I'm so glad it could help. I know it's always so scary and you can feel alone.... Know that it's normal and if you keep to it, it does get better :)
@@lavendascloset hi
I am at the bargaining stage. Thank you so much for this video. I am still on my journey.
You are so beautiful - inside and out. Thank you for developing the courage to share this with us. I am going through this and it means so much to me to realize that I am not alone. Sending you love - you are a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman.
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a terrible heart disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind it'd be nice if you just say hi here is my number +1206-237-2054
Obviously I’m not a woman but I feel your pain. I’m currently in the midst of experiencing the same. I have two daughters (6months and 1.5 yr old) I’m hurting so bad because I don’t want to lose my daughters. I just feel so lonely and I don’t know what to do anymore
how are you doing nowadays brother? I am a few months in and hoping for better days.
I love you. Thank you for this darling...... how are you doing now 4 years later???
Thank you so much for this. I especially resonated with the denial stage, as we also went through a period of 'oh let's work on our relationship' but nothing changed and if anything we both slipped into bad habits and made things worse. I wish we'd seen the light sooner.
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Thank you for your honesty. I also feel I began my separation began years ago.
I was feeling deeply depressed, withdrawn, isolated and lonely...The I got divorced...And now...I'M FREE!! FREEDOM, FREEDOM!!! And now I feel...GREAT! LOL
Thank you, I needed to hear that “it will get better with time “.
I have a 2 year old and I’m pregnant with our second child, but I feel like I can’t go on living this life for my children. My husband isn’t going to change his ways and that’s become very clear now. I really feel so heart broken because I love him with all my heart and I want my child to have a father. But I’m also feeling stuck because I’m a stay at home mom, I have nothing of my own. I’m just hurting.
Thank you for this. I am just going through separation and I'm feeling so guilty...Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel I'm not alone...We're only humans...
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a terrible heart disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind it'd be nice if you just say hi here is my number +1206-237-2054
Is the process different for men? Like I go through each stage of this process every week on repeat :(
Same here.. its easing up now 5 months in our seperation. But its still hard.
Im sorry life is so hard
I can not believe this is my life right now god help me i need you so much
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I loved this. Sharing on being a mom being broken in front of your daughter so relatable and real for me. Than k you.
Thank you for this video. It is helping me through my difficult time now.
Never get married ppl it never works out there are a small percentage of ppl who are married long term. Marriage is nothing but heart ache!
Not always I am happily married in love, but I guess that is kinda rare :( 😞
Amen
True...Eish
Totally agree bro...custody fights, endless lawyers fees, drama, financial ruin....sorry but marriage is only for a select few
I'm single and celibate. I do not have to worry about the following things:
heartbreak, being cheated upon, jealousy, divorce, alimony, stds, AIDS, erectile dysfunction, autistic kid, son being bullied at school, daughter becoming a teenage mom...etc.
ever in my life!
Good job listing the things you won't have to deal with.
More than a little lacking on the list of things you'll be missing out on...
I want to thank you so much for making this video. I have watched this multiple times, and it has really helped me. ❤️❤️
Same! I keep coming back to watch it around the time I got a divorce. Its like I check to see what stage I'm at and if anything has changed!
I really needed this. I'm letting go of 5 almost 6 years, go. We have two children a 3 year old and a 1 year old... but I have hope, things will get better. I rather my children see me happy not sad.
I love my wife and I tried so hard to save our marriage and family after she had affair
It’s sad she doesn’t want to and is o angry all the time and wants to end it all , and it’s strange bc she’s not gaining anything - besides the affair partner.
I’m so sad for our daughter
"Make it work and brush it under the rug" spot on!! my ex too went through this "party stage" in the marriage as it was ending. and it hurt to see. Got married too young- 2012-2013. Im now 36 and a totally different man that I was at 28. This is such an open vulnerable video- honestly blows me away. As men A LOT of us simply just weren't taught or shown how to be a husband. Being a BF can be a part time job and you "get away with it", but being a husband is being a life partner. Many of us aren't ready or prepared for that role. The crappy part is when we are ready, mid 30s maybe, the dating pool has shrunk. Life is funny sometimes.
28 isn't that young to get married... 28 is around the age the human brain is supposed to be fully developed.
thank you so much for this video! I am going to embrace my stages
Glad I could help love :)
Your video is great. You made me laugh and cry almost at the same time. It's day one for me. Long journey ahead and two children are going to have to endure this as well. I am starting to break apart but I will rebuild. I will be strong, for them. I will stand my ground. All in the best interest of the kids who have nothing to do with this. Thank you again
You are so brave for doing this. I have officially been divorced for 8 months but had been separated for 3 years, it took almost a year to finalize. I went through all those stages for several years. I was with this man for 20 years and experienced emotional and physical abuse. I don't want to be the person I was before. In a matter of fact I heard Sarah Jakes Roberts say when we go through things like this we are not grieving the person we where with we are grieving the person we use to be. That made me feel really good because I am living the best life I have lived, I am becoming the best version of myself. I know my divorce saved my life and my future is so much better than my past. As look back I went through all those stages and denial was the one I stayed in for the longest but that is the one that hurt me the worst. I was miserable being in a marriage that I knew was over a very very long time ago. Misery is staying in a marriage that is over. I would suggest SELF CARE and knowing your worth because you deserve the best that God has for you. God Bless:)
I love my husband and I don’t want to get a divorce yet I was the one who asked for it because our home is just so toxic. I have been with him since I was 16, now I’m 29. I have never felt more alone and hopeless. I know Jesus is there but this process hurts so much. I don’t want to eat and if it was up to me then I would just take a bunch of sleeping pills and sleep. If I make it through this then I don’t think I would ever get married again.
Victoria Llanos this is how I currently feel. I’ve been with my husband from 16-31