Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am just discovering I’ve been married to a narcissist for 20 years. I knew we had problems but I had no idea this was the cause of my marriage being soooo hard all the time. I used to be a strong feisty woman and I’ve shrunk down to not even knowing myself anymore. I am excited for my future now because I am enlightened. Thank you
Colleen Crystal ..OMG you’ve said everything I have on my mind...I just now am able to put a label on the patterns of abuse...This pattern will go on if I stay...I’m losing myself more and more as the years go by...I’m feeling the effects of the stress and need out ASAP...Thank you for the validation of knowing I’m not alone...
@Colleen Crystal you just spoke my life... my family cannot understand what happened to me. Thank God he discarded me and now I'm filing for the divorce and this information is spot on and timely.....
Hi Colleen. This sounds almost exactly like my situation, though unfortunately I fell into a very severe depression that lasted several years because I didn't realize that I was married to an emotionally/verbally abusive narcissist. I thought I was strong, but just too "sensitive" about his "jokingly," very hurtful comments and behaviors toward me (of course there were also lavish gifts and vacations at various times, but most importantly, the ability to be a stay at home mom to 4 kids- which vastly contributed to my tolerance of his manipulative/abusive ways for so many years). Through this journey though, I've also recently discovered that I've had (life long- as is typical) ADD, which I now realize is why I took his horrible words (stupid, lazy, crazy, dumb and much worse- which can't be mentioned here) so personally- I had experienced feeling these things my whole childhood (NOT by my family luckily!) because I didn't ever know that my brain worked very differently than most other people's brains! I didn't understand why everything in life was SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT for me (I thought I WAS stupid etc.), which I (now) know also contributed to lower self esteem and self worth (AND... I'm an "introverted" Empath!!), which is probably why during college, I fell for his love bombing, hoovering, severe isolation tactics etc. etc. without even realizing it was ALL manipulation- not love. Anyway, sorry for the "novel," but I was just so compelled to respond, considering that like me, you said you are just learning about all of this after 20 years of marriage!! I've now found an on-line "ADD Tribe," and I'm hoping to find a "surviving through divorce (with kids!) of a narcissist" tribe too!! Maybe?!!
Y'all are going to get through this. In no time you will find your old self and quickly surpass that person as you continue to get better. You'll be forced to accept how awesome you are because it's so clear when you aren't in a fog of emotional abuse every day. Your confidence will continue to grow. Great things are coming. Trust me.
Thank you this was very enlighting im am 58 year old male my name is mark ive been sufforing for 30 years with a covert narcissist and currently am in divorce proceeding. We own a business for 23 years and I have never been paid I am literly stuck I am the sales and website guy have made a lot of money but haven't seen any. I am finding account I thought were closed the house that we built was foreclosed on and her father purchased it he now lives with us and has dementia her son is co signer so the house was literly taken from me the business is a sole proprietor her. So bottom line no house no job no money no history of working. No history of paying bills. This is really tough I have to stay here at the house got no place to go super depressed I actually spend majority of my time in the garage bathroom 5X7 I feel like I'm doing time. The lieing stealing cheating has left completely deflated. I was trying to figure out out to fill put paper work to submit for a divorce when I came across another video ding ding door bell went off my wife is a covert narcissist to a tee I have learned a lot I no long sit in bathroom a cry for hours at a time. So now how do I go about getting 23 years of back pay half the house my name I don't exist. On anything. California is a no fault state thank God but still I am the instructor sales inside and out shipping janitor I have put my heart and soul in this relasonship and business and now nothing I fear she will kick my ass out I am already having an affair doing drugs nice thing for a instructor she is and has destroyed me. Any help is most appreciated referrals HELP. BEWARE FOLKS ITS REAL 30 YEARS.
@@Dtella55 I'm married to a narcissist for 25years..it has been a nightmare!!!.. I'm divorcing him this year...I really need emotional support. These people are monsters!... I will not date for a while...I'm trying so hard to keep my sanity. Who knew these types of personalities really existed.
Love this video! I am currently going through a divorce from a 32-year marriage to a narcissist. Your video pinpoints what I have been going through and gives me a general idea of what to expect, my soon-to-be ex would love to have me be fearful of him, he is full of pride and is on an ego trip boosted by his married girlfriend and mother which all show narcissist behavior.
I left everything I owned and got in a car and drove across the entire country-4 days- with my child and everything I could fit for my son. (Plus 1 pan) I’m on the road to recovery. Although I have nothing- I am already happier
I went through a lot of financial crisis during my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college.
I'm a single dad. Not quite long I started investing. I'm very curious and need help on how to enhance and increase my returns. Any good investment tips would be appreciated
@@eadad4371 Generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with (Regina Louise Collaro) an investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance.She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her. She made me financially stable investing through her help, now I earn on a monthly basis through her passive income strategy... So I’ll advise you do get a good Investment advisor for yourself.
@@stephaniefythm That’s great , your investment advisor must be really good,I have seen testimonies of people using the help of investment advisors in making them more financial stable. Do you mind sharing more info on this person?
@@eadad4371 look her up on the internet and leave her a message she's quite popular for her services as she was recently featured on cnn. She can work with anyone irrespective of where their located
@@stephaniefythm Just got out my marriage, I have had intentions of starting investing. But I always thought it was late and I think I need to stop procrastinating. I will definitely 🔍 Regina Louise Collaro and see what she can advise .Thanks a lot . This was of so much help to me .
He broke off the engagement bc of a talk I had with his parents which made me realize how shitty of a person he was, that gave me the courage to confront him on how he was treating me. It still took me 3 months after the breakup for me to finally be done with him, but I thank God he left me before we got married.
I got very lucky too. Unfortunately we married in court, but thank God not in church. At the end, she really was pushing for a child & house to buy, OUT OF NOWHERE. Discovered she couldnt have kids, & settled on divorcing me immediately! In divorce, she didn't take alimony from me. I only walked away with a battered bruised heart. I'm in repair. Lost 10 years of the best years of my life, yet, YOU CANT BREAK ME NARCISSISTIC BITCH!
Word to the wise from someone that’s been through this: DONT agree to do mediation with your Narc... big waste of time, energy, money. Get an attorney and do what you need to do.
This video is ALL about feelings and emotions..it's almost funny to observe it. It's amazing how women always focus their minds and take action based on feelings and impulse, ignoring any attempts on being rational, or even realistic about a difficult situation in their lives.
Agreed. They love to engage in circular conversations with no intention of resolving solving any issue. It's just another way to keep u tied up with them
I never abused my wife or called her names. But one time, after dealing with her silent treatment for several days I told her she was acting like a child. She flipped and hit me in the mouth splitting my lip. Their egos are so fragile that even the kindest constructive criticism will be met with disdain and contempt. It's time for me to find my life again.
When I discovered I was married to a Narcissist I understood sooooo many things that I lived through for more than 20 years. They want to hurt you, they hate you, they want you to suffer. They want to destroy you in all ways. So important to listen to you Stephanie, thank you so much!!!
Me too it was a real eye opener. Been angry tho that I allowed myself to be so hurt & betrayed and I justified it as TRUE LOVE. I just want to move forward & identify what love really is and that I deserve it.
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Sindy Herrera I was with one for 23 years and only found out he was a covert narc about 15 years after he died! Maybe in the past not much was known also things were so different when I got married in the 1970s. It was still a man's world despite the emergence of the new 'women's lib' and nowhere for abused wives etc. Also he was 14yrs older than I and my mother, also a narc, was infatuated with him. It was a horrible life. I haven't properly recovered because bits of the past echo back through my (adult) children of the marriage who didn't know how cruel he was and sometimes are very cruel too.
AMAzing video!!! I was married to a covert narcissist for 23 years and filed for divorce it will be a long process but so worth it!! Thank you for the great advice excellent video!! 💗
i’m going thru divorce and i’m mad, i cried and i got angry. but watching ur videos make me feel better. i wanna be happy and i wanna move on and do better for my children
I'm going through this right now trying to get a divorce from him is like going through hell all over again he told me that I have to drag his memory the rest of my life well should I say he said my short life I don't know what to do and yes it's very draining I just want a divorce that's all it also makes me feel like I have been raped in a sense if you can understand that I feel like I want to rip my skin off I am so trying to get this divorce and I don't know what else to do I really hate this I really need help and I don't know who to turn to
@@micheleparker2761 Not to be presumptuous, but please look into finding a therapist (or mental health care provider). I know from experience with severe anxiety and depression that this type of abuse can also cause the symptoms (and brain damage seen) of PTSD, and needs to be addressed IMMEDIATELY!!
My husband is a narcissist and had me arrested 2 wks ago bc he got physically abusive and convinced the police i was the aggressor. You are so right about saying horrible things bc he has said the worst things to me imaginable. He said he won't go to court but after last night after taking off all night, he said he's putting me in jail and he's divorcing me. This video u made is spot on! He has literally done every single thing you have said! And couseling doesnt wrk bc he won't even do it
My narcissist husband discarded me over six months ago I served him divorce papers and now he’s saying he’s in counseling and wants to know if we can save our marriage in one breath and in the next blames me for anything and everything. I know he’s trying to make me drop the divorce but I’m not going to fall for the “I’ve changed” lie. I know he’s lying and a plot to come back and punish me for having the nerve to try to leave him
Oh my god, exactly. They literally say it in one breath. How are these narcissist so dailed in to exactly a type of person? Doing precisely exactly the same thing like they learned it in a book?????!!!!!
My advice and I hope you follow it. Don’t try to have a meeting with him avoid to all causes. Never ever , the last meeting where he just wanted to be friends with you it’s actually the last meeting! Get an attorney and let the attorney communicate with his attorney. Don’t even take calls or messages. Your life depends on it. Stay safe !!!
OH MY GAWWWD!!! I am driving home from the lake on my motorcycle, a friend of mine forwarded this video link to me and suggested it. I have been listening through my ear buds and I LITERALLY almost drove off the road in utter amazement. I have never heard anything like this. It sounds as if you have been living in our closet and you have described my soon to be ex wife to the letter. Absolutely text book accurate. I’m blown away. So hugely helpful to have heard this. Especially during this trying time. Thank you so much for putting this out. Outstanding content. Well done!!!!
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Dealing with one right now. We have a house together and and “nothing belongs to me. Married 13 years, 3 kids, he had several affair and “I’m the one that is breaking our marriage” “The problem in our marriage is not that I keep cheating it’s the fact that you keep bringing it up”😑.....leaving with nothing and finding peace and selflove!
I was a stay at home mom and when I left him he cut me off financially, maybe understandable in any divorce but divorce is hard, divorcing a narcissist is harder but without a lawyer and on my own was the hardest. It was the hardest thing I ever did but I did it. I was fair in what I asked for and I got it. It took a year, it was the hardest thing I ever did but I found my self worth, I found a new career. I got a home and I did it while raising my four children. Here we are 4 years later and I even found a healthy relationship and I got engaged, well a week after my engagement was announced he filed to take me back to court. I am fortunate that I was able to hire the attorney I wanted the first time. So here we go again it’s basically a second divorce I’m about to go through but I’m aware of him and I’m in a good place but I’m finding old emotions come up and I need remember who I’m dealing with. Thank you for these videos.
Thats the sad part if you have kids with one the old emotions of them shell you once thought was just confused but strategically sabatoged, hated you, hurt you, stabbed you in the back every time you tryed to believe in the piece of shit, tryed to destroy me, ignore them, be stoic, & little to no time being around them, their pathetic
I got devorced a month ago. I have child and i don't work yet... i am going through a undetermined path but i know that this is the best way... i blame myself why i even chose him... but thank my parents and everyone who suppors me to deal with that awful narcissist...
@@Awklife oh absolutely. It's like the last 6 years make complete and total sense now. Her other videos about what narcissists do after are accurate as well. And the method of cutting them out is correct as well. Its nuts
I'm in the same boat. I'm struggling with all this. She makes it seem like I'm the crazy one. I feel bad for our kids tho. I know that if I don't end it, I'll become I'll from the stress and anxiety. Oh, and recently found out she was unfaithful.
@@roryrichards9340 Man. I am in the same boat too. She had atleast 1 affair that I know of and as I go through the divorce, she is out for blood. I wanted to do a dissolution just to get it over with and I was willing to work with her on everything but, she refuses!
@@christopherdeason5933 It's not easy. I realize that this person isn't my friend and I don't know her anymore. I hoping this all gets worked out quickly. It's difficult being in the same house knowing that she's still seeing people. It's not that I'm not able to, it's just not where my head is right now. All I can think about house the family will be broken and it kills me. I also know that I will become a better person in the long run. The stress is weighing on my health.
Divorcing a narcissist after 35 years of marriage. If it weren’t for my wise daughters, who are 19 and 22, I would not have escaped. You have helped me understand what is happening. It is so difficult not to try to make his family and his lawyer see through the lies. We have moved out and have a home to live in while the divorce processes. We are so fortunate. Even the dogs are happier! We are healing. Your video makes so much sense and I plan to listen to it over and over. I am not taking care of myself at all but I am going to start. Thank you. I have imagined my empty “tool box” and I plan to start filling it.
You are so in pount!! I have to co-parent with my ex. I set boundaries. We only communicate thru email, our child is 11yrs old has a cell phone so I do not have to communicate with the dark side. He is not allowed to come to My home. Pick up & drop off at school. I have a Good friend to go on My behalf so I don't have to see or interact with that. My attorney was awesome! I was truly blessed. That being was real bitter, lies about everything! Tried to say hurtful things to upset me. I prayed long and hard. It worked in my favor. Stay strong ppl, know that you are better than them inside & out!! They're pathetic!!
Wow 😳 I’m in this divorce with my ex wife. It’s just as you say. A total disaster and the person I have lived with for 20 years shows a side that I haven’t seen before. It’s important to highlight that it’s not only men that can be a narcissistic person.
Totally right, I am getting divorce with my wife, even though she accepted the things she done wrong she would deny all of them 5 minutes later and try to point fingers at me and play the victim role, no one is perfect we all make mistakes and without accepting them we just can't work on them.
I'm preparing for my divorce from my narcissistic husband. However, going no contact living in the same house as roommates seems challenging. I have no place to go and my funds/income are extremely low. It's starting to look like I have to leave everything... I'm praying for guidance... Thank you for sharing.🌹
In the same boat. I moved everything into my son's old room and changed out the door knobs for 1 that had a lock and needs a key, so when I'm either in my room and don't want him just barging in or at work I can lock it. Now my husband is extremely tech savvy and super paranoid, so I had to get creative with all new accounts, locked down my phone tight, got my own banking account so he can't access my money, he has had his own for a while and we have a joint, but just now was able to get my own. I had to tell him I had an appt I had to get to and went to the bank. Also bought some small cheap security camera so I can put in my room to make sure he isn't going through and taking my stuff, because I know if he wants to get in my room bad enough he will. He would just go get a key made or something. Mine has so much stuff he has hid from or locked up so I can't have easy access and have to ask permission in order to use whatever. He hid a video camera in our bedroom a while back thinking he would catch me having an affair or something, idk and of course he never did, but since then I have to make sure I go through everything and check for mics and cameras. Also had to get pretty creative hiding stuff that I didn't want him to access to or know about. Safety deposit box would be good idea or storage unit, but some stuff I may need access to immediately. It's hard to keep them out of your head and heart by seeing them everyday. I think it's harder on us emotionally to have to live this way instead of just being able to leave. But I completely understand. Just remember the bad times when he starts being nice and trying to get things back to the way they used to be. You are strong. You can do this. Stand your ground. You deserve happiness, love, and peace.
Oh lord, I feel for you. Tried to let my husband stay here because he had no where to go. Continued to get worse until I needed a restraining order. He's out of the house now and I'm healing. They have no boundaries, respect for us, and only know pain and hate. It's insanity. Try to get out somehow... God bless you on your journey. D
Sounds like a few of us are in the same boat! Moved into our Master Bedroom. We live in a 4 bedroom house. My friends laugh when I call it my “2bedroom/1ba house. Purging and packing while waiting for God to deliver me from the 23year jail sentence! 🤦🏿♀️ He thinks I’m organizing for the new year! My finances are all screwed up because of his choices, but you can best believe I’m getting 1/2 of his freakin retirement for all this Financial & Emotional Hell!! #KeepStrivingAndPraying #YourBreakthroughisComing
This may be old. I’m not be technically advanced. You may never get this. I just wanted to say a few things.1. You have single handedly, unequivocally, and miraculously changed my life. 2. For two years I floundered. Today, out of the blue, right before my settlement conference with a horrific narcissist I stumbled across your channel. 3. I am FOREVER GRATEFUL. 4. With your faith and strength I got EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR. Like I said I don’t know if you will ever get this. You have done me a great justice. May the Lord shine upon you and keep you. All the days of your life. 1 second ago
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Amazing. I just stumbled across this as well and going through this process after bring married 21 years and it is so accurate. I agree with what you just said.
17:27 you are absolutely correct!!! It is a lot!! 😕😔, like no joke. Most hurtful part for me is that I have to co parent with this woman 😔, we didn’t even make it to a year of marriage. It really sucks being in such a situation like this trust me. I’m literally going through this right now as I’m typing she’s constantly texting insults and other crap to get a reaction out of me, thank God I’m holding up and not responding nor reacting because that’s what she wants. I just need to stay strong. Please pray 🙏🏽 for me guys.
I just divorced about 6 months ago. It was a mess and I gave up everything. We were in debt with our home and a home equity loan. We sold our home to our son but there was no money left over. My dad passed and he left me his home so whoa is me my ex says, Oh, "At least you have a home where I have to rent." I did not respond. I am now totally better off with money in the bank for once in my life...I AM FREE!
Wooow!! Married 4 years pain after pain, confusion, broke financially, drained 🥺lost, pray fast no results!! You are talking exactly my husband. 4 months I stopped to talk because it’s been a circle I’m done with that, I took of my rings preparing myself for divorce because I am exhausted exhausted exhausted in this marriage oh Lord. Thank you
I’m in the middle of a divorce, and it can be hard emotionally at times. This video was very helpful. I realize that I had to stop talking to my STBX spouse to get myself better.
I'm about to go thru it. I didn't know this condition was so common. I'm so messed up right now. Mixed emotions, turning stomach, but feelings, anger, etc. I wish I could stay for the sake of the kids but if I don't end this, I'll become sick from the stress. I can see now that she will NEVER changed. I can't wait til this pain is over.
Do not let the love of your life go away and sleep next to somebody else. You can win back their love and make it too deep that the oceans are jealous. Do not let anyone get between you and your relationship goals, cast a real love spell on your partner and protect them from getting attracted to anyone else who is not you.
@SpecialMade, why would you want to make a special effort to feed the " monster" who has already fed you with so much" unwanted, pain ,trauma n heartache" ?You need healing😢😢😢 n therapy 🔥🔥🔥
OMG this is so true about how they want to make you suffer! God forbid you respond or act any other way they don't want you to because you will pay dearly!
Omg!!! You brought tears to my eyes. Ive gone no contact almost 2 months & have consulted attorney to start div process. The fear of what's to come gives me anxiety & im seriously using this time to strengthen my mind & heart for the div battle. Thank you so much for these tips... brought immense clarity to me. Thanks again!!! #survivor
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I recently discovered I’m married to a narcissistic man after 17 years. I don’t know how I was so blind. I guess I always believed everything was my fault.
Same!!!! 15 years married and he was so good that i believed i was the problem too. My eyes are open now. Its been exactly a week since me and my children moved out. Good luck to you.
Same! 10 years of my life and I didn’t realize it. Never knew the thorough definition of narcissism. He asked me if I thought he was one after telling me he doesn’t want to be married anymore. This sucks but I will get through this.
Wow, so glad I found this video. I went through divorce from a cover narcissist less than a year ago. You get it! Not many understand what you go through, I am glad they don’t. Mediation was a waste of time, I agree. Dont take the bait, don’t react- you are so right. At the end it was pretty fair, you have to be realistic, no one is going to get everything you want. I actually went to the court house and read several divorce cases that the judge ruled on to get an idea of how it might go. That was helpful. Document everything, I still do 10 months later. I have been in court 3 times including temp parenting plan, divorce trial, and one contempt of court which she was found guilty of. Now i deal with alienation, they never stop. So vindictive and vengeful too. All you can do is control you, hard lessons to learn. Thank you for this video, viewers listen to her she is spot on.
What you are describing is exactly what I went through. Great advice on lawyer as well. Also, finding that one or two good friends that you can call at anytime of the day and then twist is a must! I was on my knees talking to God throughout the entire time of my divorce with a narcissist. 4 years later I am so happy and full of joy! I also did absolute no contact with this person. I was married 25 years and he asked for a divorce. I was blindsided.
I ended up marriying a narcissist that came from the identical and i mean identical situation you described. They were married 25 years. Our marriage lasted 4 years. Still married but in process of dissolution . I don't know if he left for someone else. I have never stopped beating myself up for believing his lies. I know i hurt this woman. I wanted to contact her many times but i didn't want him to find out. The consequences if that would have been my worst nightmare. As if what I'm going through now is not its version of hell. Suffice it to say i think ive coone along way in paying my dues for hurting this woman. I will always carry the guilt and shame of hurting this woman. Im bankrupt, isolated, everyone believes him. I feel i deserve that for what i did to Patty. I just wanted to take the opportunity to share this for all the people who were dumped by their narcissists. Maybe for some closure. Satisfaction. You deserve it. Don't forget they recycle!! My soon to be ex is now living with his exwifes son. His ex stepson. Im terrified for them. I had access to his google account for a while. I saw every conversation, every search, his location. Who he was with. My former friend is his hew supply. His former wife and family have allowed him back into their lives. They believe him. I have proof of all his lies. About everything!! Including pages and pages of grahic videos he watched of torturing women.. prostitutes. Drugs.,bank accounts. I hope that they can see the truth and aren't further victimized. My friend (haha). I'm sure next time I see her she will have aged 20 years. She knew about him. I just let that one go. Anyway I just want to be able to help someone who may be going through this situation. The Other Woman does not win. The one he left does. There's no soul in these things. They are not people. I have seen what's behind the mask. Terrified is not a strong enough word. It will haunt me for the rest of my days. Evil incarnate. I wish peace and prosperity to all who are dealing with this. nightmare. Thanks for the oppurtunity to share. It was a way of healing and moving on for me. ✌
WOW, how did I just find this now? Could have helped so much after going through a 2 year divorce. I swear everything in this video is so accurate it’s scary.
Thank you soooooo much for making this video!!! I have felt like I was on the verge of going crazy and felt so defeated and hurt until your video. Today has been so hard for me and you have encouraged me just at the right time. I have an 11 month old now but he was only 3 months old when my ex left us for my doula, but they were just friends. He blames me for kicking him out! Thank you so much for making this video, it has given me my strength back🤗
I’m going to watch this every day until the papers are signed, I so easily fall for his fake kindness. Need to remember there is an agenda behind every move. Great advice and thank you a million! Your videos are one of my Go To stress relieving activities.
I've been planning this divorce for a year, we've been married 39 years so I thought I'll just change how I respond. That was 4 years ago and I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. My 2 daughters are his empaths, I have no support system so other than some part time work I sleep 12 or more hours a day. He's feeding off that?? Thanks for sharing that. Thinking what I'm in for at my age scares the h---l out of me
Cindy Hoelting It's extremely difficult and terrifying. I left my ex last spring after 13 years together and a 9 year old child together. I've spent thousands in lawyer fees. The absolute best advice I can give you is to plan this out well and carefully. I unfortunately had to leave quickly, and had no choice, but if I'd been able to plan it out better, I would have. Document everything you can. Record things, write things down. Save emails and texts, etc. I was isolated from everyone. He had my family convinced it was all me. My daughter is still so manipulated by him. I had no support. If your city or town has a domestic violence shelter, you can go there and talk to an advocate for free. You don't have to stay there, they will help you and become a support system for you. It doesn't have to be physical violence for them to help you. Make sure you find an attorney who is very familiar with these types. He will probably use the sleeping against you. Seek out a therapist who will back you up waaaaaayyy before you make the move. I'm still scared and hurting, but it was essential I leave. This is a good video. She's absolutely right. He will use anything and everything against you. You have to prepare yourself like you're going into battle. It's unreal.
I've been watching Stephanie for over 4 years, she's always on target. The divorce process is a challenge, going on 1 year 3 months. However i strongly agree and believe, her tips are crucial to the overall outcome. Thank you!
Omg....I can totally see it now....im preparing now for the nightmare can't wait till it's over already and didn't even start yet.....ugh 😕 Thanks 4 your help....and good advice !!!
I saw that train coming at me too. Didn't make things any better when it happened unfortunately(I hope that is not the case for you and your prep helps soften the blows). I advise you get your hands on as much documentation(bank statements, life insurance policies, etc.) as you can before you get locked out of accounts and what have you. They will lie and proof refuting their lies is very powerful. I'm probably not even halfway through. The saga started with her evading the service processor for 3 weeks at the beginning of the summer. Every mediation or pre-trial court appearance is a non-stop festival of subtle(occasionally its overt, but she is very conscious of the facade) jabs at my tender areas in her efforts to draw supply and get me to react in front of others. I did a good job last time and managed to ignore every single attempt. On the way out she tried to corner me in the courtroom foyer and I side stepped her like she was an inanimate object. She finally started to boil over and her attorney had to physically drag her away. Not giving the N the fuel they feel so entitled to is a great strategy by the way. This was the first time I managed to do this successfully and I can see the power in it. I hope I can stay motivated to keep it up. Hopefully you do better than me and get it right from the beginning :). Good luck!
interview your Lawyer and ask them if they're educated about the pathological lying narcisist. it'll save you because he will make you out to be the monster
I’m divorcing someone with many narcissistic traits and this advice is wonderful. I did the same thing last month with my attorney explaining a very complicated business/relationship/coparenting mess of a situation and all it did was cost me a fortune, it didn’t help with the divorce. She’s so right. Listen to UA-cam videos of Stephanie’s instead, she’s amazing!
Fantastic video, best on the internet on this subject hands down. Don't ever stop making videos, you have such a gift of insight. God bless you Stephanie!
I love these videos! I just watched her first one yesterday and have watched 2 today. I was married to a narcissist for almost 35 years and divorced him 2 years ago. Now he's trying to hoover me back. Anyway I did therapy for 2 years and just recently quit because I didn't feel like it was helping. Just watching Stephanie life coaching for 2 days has helped me more than 2 years of therapy. Thank you Stephanie 😊
I am glad my therapist showed this video while at the beginning of my process. I have been married to a textbook narcissist for 8 years (still legally married). This is the wake up I needed.
Expect the unexpected. Was with him for 13 years and at the end he punctured my tires and broke into my safe and stole me engagement and wedding ring when I left him alone in the apartment to move his stuff. He called my friends, family and coworkers trying to turn them against me thankfully they know my heart and rightfully, are asking now why did I put up with him that long. I always knew he was impulsive but never thought he was a criminal. I fight with myself every day not to sink to his level because I could ruin his life but I love his kids and I know how disappointed they would be in him. Protect every aspect of yourself guys.
Stephanie have described my divorce experience precisely.. I have been in court with my narcissist ex wife for 12 years now. Everything Stephanie says is 100% applicable to my case. I wish I had watched this 12 years ago. Thank you. Incredible.
Thanks for sharing, there's really nothing new under the sun ,at times we go through things and are tempted to think we are the only ones but when you see videos like this we understand that such evil naccississt are so many and we need to be more careful next time we get into relationships, been going through a horrible divorce and it's already 3 years now and he just wants me to suffer but I hv developed a thick skin against his wickedness and am busy working on making myself better now.
Excellent points & very helpful. Currently going through divorce w/ my husband who is a dangerous covert narcissist (which was a completely new term to me, but I’ve become educated on it...thank you!). You’ve been wonderfully helpful in my recovery process & I can’t thank you enough for sharing your knowledge & experience. ❤️
Dtella55 need help seeking legal counsel. I very desperate for referrals. I live in Atlanta, Georgia. I will appreciate any suggestions if anyone has legal counsel in this state.
Jennifer Boyce I am also dealing with a covert narcissist. Trying to convince him we need to get a divorce, but trying to let him pull the trigger because if I do, I will be mentally tortured until I get any equity from the house and could move on. How did you all afford an attorney? It’s $5,000 retainer here in California. At that rate I can’t afford to pay attention.
Going through this now, even though it’s almost over they still try to control you through the kids. It’s sick and sad but leaving these evil bully’s is the only answer. Looking forward to our new life ahead ❤ Great advice 😊
Going through the same thing myself. He won't leave my house (tenancy agreement in my name). Not sure if I should give up my home for this person to live comfortably.
Filed January 2020, quarantine hit, she still in house in October 2020 refusing to leave. I'm big into self relaxation, take good care of myself, and will make it. Glad I researched and knew to be ready for the wildest ride life can offer...... Knowledge is power
This is so unbelievably spot on. I wish I had come across Stephanie when I first got divorced. It doesn't end when you get divorced however... going on 4 years over here :(
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Thank you so much for posting your videos! Mediation worked for me, of course she'd told too many lies that would have come out in court though. It's still not easy and I'm concerned about how her lying is going to affect my daughters as they grow up. I guess all I can do for them is be a steady presence in their lives. These videos will be great when they're old enough to understand.
I went thru mediation also and she had a proposal that I went thru and took a red pen and lined out everything she wanted. Mediator took it to her and I heard her screaming from across the hall. Mediator came back and said she won’t accept and I packed up to leave and told mediator that I will see her and supply in court. I said remind her that she is an openly admitted adulterer, abandoned her kids, refused custody, AND I have copies of text messages supply sent to my ( at the time 13 yr old daughter) from her mothers phone harassing her. When I told wife that he should knock that shit off she laughed!!! That’s where the moral clause came from I mentioned previously as my attorney had my daughter file an affidavit with the court describing what happened, how her mother refused to stop it, and daughter felt supply was a pedafile. When u deal with these people u do all u can to protect ur self and children!
I have mediation in April, it will be one yr to the day that papers were filed. He does not have a lawyer now, they dropped him because he lied and defied court order. I have every imaginable doc, pic, everything I think he will try to lie about and even his exs documents in case he tries to recycle the lies! I've only spoken with him once in 9 months. Oh and my lawyer, she just divorced a N herself, so she is aware of all the games! Any other advice for mediation!?
I was in a violent toxic relationship with someone I loved for 4 tears she would use my like a punching bag but I still felt like I needed her to live I love this video helps me to see a little better
Just so tired, I did not know so much till a friend pointed this out to me. I used to beg my kids to please not upset their mom. I never new almost 25 years. I hurt my boys so much for staying. Thank you so much for the information, and help. She has started this behavior we do not exist attitude. My 17 year old son has suffered the most. Thank you again
“Holishit I AM A BADASS”!! Love it!!! Thank you for your words of wisdom!! You are a wise beautiful soul❤️ Wish me luck... 25 years coming to an end...I look forward to the next chapters!
Wow... That was excellent! A friend told me to listen to your clips... I filed for divorce to a narcissist woman my 2nd marriage going to shambles as we have two gorgeous baby daughters that I do not want them to see the evil side of their abusive mother both physically and emotionally... My current career does not allow this kind of domestic abuse and puts everything I worked so hard for on the line... Thank you for your knowledge and experience, I will be watching more and gaining more from this experience.
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Thank you thank you thank you 🙌🏼🙌🏼 I am going through the process right now and have been so confused why he is being so difficult!! This makes everything so much more clearer for me. This video really helps me be stronger and prepared while moving forward with this divorce 💪🏼💪🏼❤️
One of the most enlightening parts that we don't realize till divorcing a Narc is their need and ability to solicit negative "fuel" (narcissistic supply) They may not even know they are soliciting it because in their mind what ever their words or actions are are rational, they're entitled to, you deserve just that, or you are outrageous and they are the virtuous victim.
The ex narc I was married to for 15 years somehow paid off my attorney and during our mediation both his attorney and my attorney with my ex came into agreement about everything…I was extremely depressed and had panic attacks after so much abuse from the narc that I was not all there…my attorney comes out of the mediation room after 3 hours and tells me we have to decide now on the divorce and take whatever he’s offering me because if not my daughters and I were gonna be left with nothing…I came out of it with our home that we still owed on and he kept everything else…this is a man that abused me every which way possible and had several affairs and now he had taken everything we’d work so hard for…I still have to thank God for setting us free from the most evil man I have ever met!
Oh my gosh! I went down. It was the worst. I learned the hard way. I wish I had a coach. Great video hopefully everyone out there do this! I am doing great now. It was the absolute worse time. I’m grateful now.
OMG I am so grateful that I came across this video! I have felt helpless for years! I am now looking up all of your information. I am a grateful new fan. Thank you for sharing this Stephanie.
Thanks for this, I'm really starting to feel a little overwhelmed with the path she is taking and the venting of her pain onto me. This was a little helpful. 🙂
You speak the truth. Thank you for making me feel normal and not crazy every video I watch is like I’m watching my life unfold. Your gift of understanding is immeasurable to me right now and I can’t wait to watch the next one so thank you for helping me seriously thank you!!
Excellent video. All points are incredibly valuable. It's pure effing hell. My ex is truly a sadist. Point 4 was great and same for me. While interviewing attorneys I looked past any of them who said no you won't get that. It was worth standing strong for myself in that regard. I ended up with an attorney who, while difficult to work with, did an outstanding job for me and got more than I would've thought. You really need to brace yourself for the battle of your life both externally and internally.
Sacred Light good for you. I am currently in a situation seeking new counsel! I was unaware of the choice in choosing a good Attorney at first. Now, I am here reporting her to the Bar and trying to find a new attorney.
Jane Knose good for you for reporting to the bar. Are you going thru trial? My ex dragged me thru the most brutal trial with smear campaign and every word he spoke was a lie. I was in bed for literally a month detoxing it was so painful. I'm wishing you the best. There are great videos out there on how to divorce a narc. Let me know if you would like me to share ones that helped me.
Sacred Light I am in the beginning or what they call the Discovery/Interrogatories stage. I welcome any resource for information that would be helpful. Thanks a buch.
@@janeknose6136 I found the videos below to be very helpful. ua-cam.com/video/uitvEnFnLhI/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/jFit2ASKMx4/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/h04V77_hLAM/v-deo.html I am sending you prayers. You CAN and WILL do this and get thru.
I'm so thankful you do these vidoes for everyone to learn. It has really helped me see what the real issue has been between my husband and me. I hv been looking for an answer for everything I hv been feeling for years now. U r awesome. #thankful4u
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@@jenniferbliss5499 im not sure what u mean? Do u think I am wanting to get back together w my husband? Or were u thinking that the coach could help us personally?
This is so crazy fantastic!!!! Love your video. Stumbled upon it. I am going through exactly everything you said!!! I have to remain steadfast & dogged. Its painful. Its hard. Its confusing. But i have to push on & get justice . Its now in the court system. Mid way through. Its so obvious to the judge she lied and lied her way through. Thank God i kept all my documents, receipts, police reports, videos etc. I just need to heal. Narcs dont like to be exposed - which i had to do finally, they dont like defiance - well, i did and they dont like to lose a good supply. I make a solid 6 figure income per annum and she used me like crazy financially. We have 2 grown sons whom she poisoned against me. She has no boundaries, no accountability, she smeared my name, made people turn against me by being a "victim". Well, the court has seen her lies, she hardly has any documents worthwhile. I slayed her lawyers too simply by telling the TRUTH!!! And i did not budge!!! I just want to heal, to move on, to sort out my life, to feel and look better, i've lost weight - in a good way, by eating better and exercising. Thank God i've got great friends helping me through this. Your video is spot on. Thanks again!!! Subscribed!!!
A couple months ago I realized something was not right in my relationship and I felt like I was going crazy. My emotions were off the charts, I realized that it was not me it was a reaction to my husband's complete disregard for my feelings and boundaries. I took a step back and started putting myself first, almost like being on the outside looking into my relationship. And I felt good started gaining my confidence back because I started to find myself again i went through old family photos and got a sense of self and self worth. When I did this my husband noticed but not in the good way I expected but he said "you've been acting really weird lately are you ok?" The way he said it i felt he didn't like what I was doing and I felt that wasn't right because he is my husband he should be happy or proud that I began to do better and feel better. He wasn't, so that got me to think...who does that? And I thankfully know now that I was right it wasn't me, it never has been he is a narcissist and the best thing I can do is to keep putting me first.
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Great Video. Both my current husband and I went through a divorce like this. Now I’m helping my brother go through this so I’m going through looking for information to help him. This video will be a huge help! Thank you for sharing.
I'll say it again.. three years later: Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
I am so thankful for this video, I am going through a divorce with my narcissist wife and this is 100% accurate even with using my lawyer to vent...thank you for uploading!!
Married to Narc for 30 years, free now but I am living one day at a time right now. PTSD. Still happier though that every day I wake up and he is not here and I am not walking on eggshells and trying to figure his moods and when he is going to explode at me or anyone who has the unfortunate timing to be in his way🙏
God put us here on earth,To love, to live, and to learn,To obey His Golden Rules And for Him we should be firm. He wants us to be an example Of all that He stands for, To love everyone on Earth And to have Faith and Trust and more. We are in a way His disciples For the years we live on earth, He wants us to spread His word With compassion and much might.how are you doing,please can will talk in private
I enjoyed every bit of this because its my story to the T . The crazy thing is I never knew i was married /divorcing a narcissist until I seen this video.
thank you for your videos. 100% my year. I finally have seen what's been going on the last ten years. You're videos are helping my get away, be the stable parent, avoid reactions, handle my in laws, etc. but most importantly, I am LOVING the way you say "strength"!! Keep saying it!
No one behind the wheel…. Best phrase. She is operating on pure hate towards me right now and burying herself in the process. Currently in divorce process and cohabiting. Giving it until my lawyer sends a request until next major rage and my final day in what I thought was a home
Oh my gosh did this hit home!! Our mediator said he had never seen anything like my ex-husband. He said he was literally in the other room throwing a temper tantrum in front of his own lawyer. I have begun wondering if he was a narcissist, but I am always doubting myself.
Just found your videos as I’m now going through divorcing a narcissist. Very helpful and spot on! Thank you for all your videos you have posted! I’m feeling encouraged and looking forward to healing and bettering myself through this process!!
OMG my ex is Text Book...I just bursted out laughing when you mentionned the "LONG email"...I don't even read them anymore. Thank you for your videos. They make me feel less alone and sane.
@@hulyah1989 Hulya h It's amazing how we simply don't realise it when we are in the relationship...but looking back, from outside that bubble, it's very clear. But yes, I believed everything too...Even if that meant to think I was not good at anything...except when he wanted to make me do something, then I was a superwoman who can do anything she put my mind to it...such manipulations.
Be Ye HOLY well my catholic priest has told me I absolutely must NOT go back to my abusive husband. So I think I’ll be listening to him and not you. What a horrible message to send to people who are trying to escape an abusive relationship.
I am so glad i came across your channel. 🙏 You truly explain and touch on very important points. I am currently coparenting with a Narcissist it is really stressful and drains the life out of me and on top of that my little girl is only 3 and he has her one week and I have her the other week so pretty much we have 50/50 costudy and it is not easy. He is a criminal defense lawyer and I am just starting out my life I am 26 and he is 46 so theirs a lot of control coming form his part. I have gone to court but because he is a lawyer and knows pretty much knows everyone his has gotten away with the abuse he actually got physical and pointed a gun at me while my daughter was in the room when I called the cops and told them what happened they discarded everything I said they didn’t even want to give me a report of what happened that night. I went to court to only dismiss the case and not because I didn’t have prove but because I could not afford my lawyer. So I resorted to a legal aid lawyer not much was done in my case. I am emotionally and physically drain but I have faith that god will give me a way so I can move on with my life and be happy with my daughter away from this toxic man. I will not give up I will keep on fighting and will keep moving forward until justice is made. Thank you so much for this videos they are really helpful ! keep on doing this amazing work because there are many of us women out there form different ages that are going through this and feeling like no one could understand or relate to our difficult situation. Hopefully more of us women come out and speak, teacher, empower other women to fight for their rights and find self value for themselves to get out of this toxic and dangerous life changing relationships.
Thank you a ton. I’m going through a divorce with a narcissist and i need all of what your saying. I’m experiencing all of what your saying and feel really good about your information. Again thank you and I will follow your advice tremendously!
I have a strong future seeing intuition and after the first month it became obvious I was going to experience almost everything you mentioned in this video(this intuition also flew in the face of everything I thought I knew so it was hard to accept at first). Even when my attorney and family were still being positive about the outcome. 5 months in and all of this has manifested. It's good to get confirmation that this is normal. And apparently I had some emotion I was unaware of. I realize now that always keeping on the lookout and expecting the worst had me feeling paranoid. Hearing that everyone else goes through almost the exact same thing seems to bring legitimacy to how I assess these situations (dang self doubt creeps in everywhere!)
This was just so what I needed today. I needed someone to remind me that this sux, it's hard as heck, that i won't break, I will be better, happier and stronger for this. I know God never ever ever wastes anything. He grounds me. Pls put up more videos like this one. I need someone pushing me to do the little things because the little things seems like mountains right now and I'm not a rock climber. Defeat and lack of will is real. My lifeblood has been sucked dry of me. I know the HS lives within me and that is how I know I am still alive. Without Him, I don't know where I would be. I send so many huge loving hugs to everyone here reading and listening. I know your hurting and crying because I am too. You are loved.
I cannot divorce my husband due to my believes but, your videos showed me how to stand up for myself and work on it. My husband brought me on a new continent - here in U.S with no relatives of mine, put me and our 3 years old kid isolated from the rest of the world. I don’t know how to drive. He is threatening to leave me without medicine, if I don’t obey. I skip one dose, I can die. Threatens to throw me on the street. Ever since, I started applying your advice about how to limit our emphatic side and not feeding a narcissist due to the abuse in their past or whatsoever, he doesn’t know what to say. I am watching your videos every day to get strength to stand up for me and our son. As you say, self - parenting myself. I have more hope and courage now. Thank you!
Please seek help. Call a local domestic abuse shelter. Ask in the library at your local court house librarian. Document everything. In court you have to show evidence that you are primary caregiver and he is an unstable person/parent.
I'm hoping you got away already, but if you haven't... Apply for public assistance for your meds. Then run to a shelter. In my experience, when you resist or stand up for yourself, they become more aggressive and/or begin setting up your discard. The discard will be done in the most cruel & vindictive way possible. It could even get physical. It's better to just flee to avoid experiencing that process all together.
@Be Ye HOLY as a believer myself, I agree with the Scriptures and ALSO believe what it says about the woman being fragile and that when a man doesn’t treat his wife right, his prayers are hindered. God by no means calls for women to stay subjected to someone who doesn’t exemplify the love Christ had for the Church. Abuse is NEVER okay! Period! I’ve been to married to my husband for 16 years and have endured lots of verbal and emotional abuse, and neglect unnecessarily because I was told by leaders at church to “get it right with him, fix it and keep praying for him”. Truth is, a narcissist is incapable of seeing his/her need for God or to change. Using Scripture to bombard people with staying in unhealthy, ungodly, EVIL, toxic marriages is NOT God’s desire nor His design for what family is supposed to look like. He desires to see emotionally and spiritually healthy individuals, families that are whole and can impact this world with good example, and that’s impossible when living with a narcissist. Narcissistic abuse is shameful, and usually makes the victim live a life of pretending to the world to be okay. Narcs isolate their victims so they can drain the life out of you one offense at a time. I’ve been there and it’s a dark, low place to be in. Had it not been for God’s Grace reaching for me, I don’t know where I’d be now. Instead of bombarding people, please pray. Blessings!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am just discovering I’ve been married to a narcissist for 20 years. I knew we had problems but I had no idea this was the cause of my marriage being soooo hard all the time. I used to be a strong feisty woman and I’ve shrunk down to not even knowing myself anymore. I am excited for my future now because I am enlightened. Thank you
Colleen Crystal ..OMG you’ve said everything I have on my mind...I just now am able to put a label on the patterns of abuse...This pattern will go on if I stay...I’m losing myself more and more as the years go by...I’m feeling the effects of the stress and need out ASAP...Thank you for the validation of knowing I’m not alone...
@Colleen Crystal you just spoke my life... my family cannot understand what happened to me. Thank God he discarded me and now I'm filing for the divorce and this information is spot on and timely.....
Hi Colleen. This sounds almost exactly like my situation, though unfortunately I fell into a very severe depression that lasted several years because I didn't realize that I was married to an emotionally/verbally abusive narcissist. I thought I was strong, but just too "sensitive" about his "jokingly," very hurtful comments and behaviors toward me (of course there were also lavish gifts and vacations at various times, but most importantly, the ability to be a stay at home mom to 4 kids- which vastly contributed to my tolerance of his manipulative/abusive ways for so many years).
Through this journey though, I've also recently discovered that I've had (life long- as is typical) ADD, which I now realize is why I took his horrible words (stupid, lazy, crazy, dumb and much worse- which can't be mentioned here) so personally- I had experienced feeling these things my whole childhood (NOT by my family luckily!) because I didn't ever know that my brain worked very differently than most other people's brains! I didn't understand why everything in life was SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT for me (I thought I WAS stupid etc.), which I (now) know also contributed to lower self esteem and self worth (AND... I'm an "introverted" Empath!!), which is probably why during college, I fell for his love bombing, hoovering, severe isolation tactics etc. etc. without even realizing it was ALL manipulation- not love.
Anyway, sorry for the "novel," but I was just so compelled to respond, considering that like me, you said you are just learning about all of this after 20 years of marriage!! I've now found an on-line "ADD Tribe," and I'm hoping to find a "surviving through divorce (with kids!) of a narcissist" tribe too!! Maybe?!!
Y'all are going to get through this. In no time you will find your old self and quickly surpass that person as you continue to get better. You'll be forced to accept how awesome you are because it's so clear when you aren't in a fog of emotional abuse every day. Your confidence will continue to grow. Great things are coming. Trust me.
Girl SAME!!! my husband is a narcissist and I've never been treated so bad in my entire life.
It's been said: "you never know who you married until you get a divorce". This is beyond true when you divorce a narcissist.
Thank you this was very enlighting im am 58 year old male my name is mark ive been sufforing for 30 years with a covert narcissist and currently am in divorce proceeding. We own a business for 23 years and I have never been paid I am literly stuck I am the sales and website guy have made a lot of money but haven't seen any. I am finding account I thought were closed the house that we built was foreclosed on and her father purchased it he now lives with us and has dementia her son is co signer so the house was literly taken from me the business is a sole proprietor her. So bottom line no house no job no money no history of working. No history of paying bills. This is really tough I have to stay here at the house got no place to go super depressed I actually spend majority of my time in the garage bathroom 5X7 I feel like I'm doing time. The lieing stealing cheating has left completely deflated. I was trying to figure out out to fill put paper work to submit for a divorce when I came across another video ding ding door bell went off my wife is a covert narcissist to a tee I have learned a lot I no long sit in bathroom a cry for hours at a time. So now how do I go about getting 23 years of back pay half the house my name I don't exist. On anything. California is a no fault state thank God but still I am the instructor sales inside and out shipping janitor I have put my heart and soul in this relasonship and business and now nothing I fear she will kick my ass out I am already having an affair doing drugs nice thing for a instructor she is and has destroyed me. Any help is most appreciated referrals HELP. BEWARE FOLKS ITS REAL 30 YEARS.
Christopher Lucas so true!!
You wish you knew while it was happening.........
My God yes!
Absolutely true
😒👍 Agree 100%
I just got out of DIVORCE court a couple hours ago. I’m divorced now 🎉🎉🎉 ….It’s PARTY TIME !!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 .
It may be difficult at first but divorcing a narcissist is worth it.
Amen...100 you divorce Lucifer and feel nothing for an abuser
Exactly...100 14 months no contact...3 months divorced....yayyy GOD is with me did it all by myself
@@Dtella55 I'm married to a narcissist for 25years..it has been a nightmare!!!.. I'm divorcing him this year...I really need emotional support. These people are monsters!... I will not date for a while...I'm trying so hard to keep my sanity. Who knew these types of personalities really existed.
Love this video! I am currently going through a divorce from a 32-year marriage to a narcissist. Your video pinpoints what I have been going through and gives me a general idea of what to expect, my soon-to-be ex would love to have me be fearful of him, he is full of pride and is on an ego trip boosted by his married girlfriend and mother which all show narcissist behavior.
Be G ditto.
I left everything I owned and got in a car and drove across the entire country-4 days- with my child and everything I could fit for my son. (Plus 1 pan) I’m on the road to recovery. Although I have nothing- I am already happier
Yay!!! You should be so proud of yourself!!
Life with Axe wow your amazing !!
I know exactly how you feel I lost it all
Dear Lord, please bless Katie and her son!! Please comfort them and bless them with any needs they may need. In your name I pray- Amen
Hope you're doing well!
I went through a lot of financial crisis during my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college.
I'm a single dad. Not quite long I started investing. I'm very curious and need help on how to enhance and increase my returns. Any good investment tips would be appreciated
@@eadad4371 Generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with (Regina Louise Collaro) an investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance.She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her.
She made me financially stable investing through her help, now I earn on a monthly basis through her passive income strategy... So I’ll advise you do get a good Investment advisor for yourself.
@@stephaniefythm That’s great , your investment advisor must be really good,I have seen testimonies of people using the help of investment advisors in making them more financial stable. Do you mind sharing more info on this person?
@@eadad4371 look her up on the internet and leave her a message she's quite popular for her services as she was recently featured on cnn. She can work with anyone irrespective of where their located
@@stephaniefythm Just got out my marriage, I have had intentions of starting investing. But I always thought it was late and I think I need to stop procrastinating. I will definitely 🔍 Regina Louise Collaro and see what she can advise .Thanks a lot . This was of so much help to me .
I got lucky and didn’t make it to the altar, these videos and a lot of secret research on the topic saved me. Thank you for all your help !!
Great for you wish I did some research would have saved myself abuse in every form/financial loss
He broke off the engagement bc of a talk I had with his parents which made me realize how shitty of a person he was, that gave me the courage to confront him on how he was treating me. It still took me 3 months after the breakup for me to finally be done with him, but I thank God he left me before we got married.
I wish I saw these videos. Unfortunately I got married and have wasted 7 years of my life.
You are truly BLESSED!👍🏾
I got very lucky too.
Unfortunately we married in court, but thank God not in church.
At the end, she really was pushing for a child & house to buy, OUT OF NOWHERE. Discovered she couldnt have kids, & settled on divorcing me immediately!
In divorce, she didn't take alimony from me.
I only walked away with a battered bruised heart.
I'm in repair.
Lost 10 years of the best years of my life, yet,
YOU CANT BREAK ME NARCISSISTIC BITCH!
Word to the wise from someone that’s been through this: DONT agree to do mediation with your Narc... big waste of time, energy, money. Get an attorney and do what you need to do.
Jenn W hey cowgirl
You are correct!
This video is ALL about feelings and emotions..it's almost funny to observe it. It's amazing how women always focus their minds and take action based on feelings and impulse, ignoring any attempts on being rational, or even realistic about a difficult situation in their lives.
Agreed. They love to engage in circular conversations with no intention of resolving solving any issue. It's just another way to keep u tied up with them
Mediation is definitely a waste but when the judge does a court order for it. You can't get around it!
I never abused my wife or called her names. But one time, after dealing with her silent treatment for several days I told her she was acting like a child. She flipped and hit me in the mouth splitting my lip. Their egos are so fragile that even the kindest constructive criticism will be met with disdain and contempt. It's time for me to find my life again.
You got this Adam!
I am going through this now. I hope I am able to overcome this.
When I discovered I was married to a Narcissist I understood sooooo many things that I lived through for more than 20 years. They want to hurt you, they hate you, they want you to suffer. They want to destroy you in all ways. So important to listen to you Stephanie, thank you so much!!!
Me too it was a real eye opener. Been angry tho that I allowed myself to be so hurt & betrayed and I justified it as TRUE LOVE. I just want to move forward & identify what love really is and that I deserve it.
Maria Arquello,So sad to hear your story 😭,you deserve better
I don't known if here is the right forum to say this I am very glad for what Ogbeifun did for me, i meant dr ogbeifun through a friend he helped win a court case of divorce few months ago and when i contacted him, he help me to cast a death spell on my mother in-law who was really troubling my life and future, she never wanted my progress, each time I get a job from a company, I get drove back because of the witch craft mother in-law I have, I never knew my mother in-law was the one troubling me, until one day I contacted Dr Ogbeifun for help and he told me Justine my mother in-law is the one troubling me and he help me to cast unto her a death spell. I am happy because the evil doer is dead and ever since then my life have turn around for good things now work fine for me and am now happy living beautiful with my family, thanks to Dr Ogbeifun. i recommend you to dr Ogbeifun contact him email ogbefunhearlingtemple@ gmail. com or call/whatsapp him via +2348102574680
@@carmensandiego9843 yeah
@@carmensandiego9843 how are you doing
It’s crazy how I never knew my husband was a narcissist, everything she’s said is EXACTLY who my husband is
Sindy Herrera
I was with one for 23 years and only found out he was a covert narc about 15 years after he died! Maybe in the past not much was known also things were so different when I got married in the 1970s. It was still a man's world despite the emergence of the new 'women's lib' and nowhere for abused wives etc. Also he was 14yrs older than I and my mother, also a narc, was infatuated with him. It was a horrible life. I haven't properly recovered because bits of the past echo back through my (adult) children of the marriage who didn't know how cruel he was and sometimes are very cruel too.
I am 28 y and the last two years I’ve learned about
Same...I can do relate! It’s insane!
AMAzing video!!! I was married to a covert narcissist for 23 years and filed for divorce it will be a long process but so worth it!! Thank you for the great advice excellent video!! 💗
Tell me about it...it is so scary!!
i’m going thru divorce and i’m mad, i cried and i got angry. but watching ur videos make me feel better. i wanna be happy and i wanna move on and do better for my children
I'm going through this as we speak and it is horrible, I feel drained and tired all the time, I enjoyed the video I find it helpful. thank you
I'm going through this right now trying to get a divorce from him is like going through hell all over again he told me that I have to drag his memory the rest of my life well should I say he said my short life I don't know what to do and yes it's very draining I just want a divorce that's all it also makes me feel like I have been raped in a sense if you can understand that I feel like I want to rip my skin off I am so trying to get this divorce and I don't know what else to do I really hate this I really need help and I don't know who to turn to
michele parker - Stay strong 💪 you’re better off alone, then you’ll have freedom and can start you’re new and better life!
@@micheleparker2761 Not to be presumptuous, but please look into finding a therapist (or mental health care provider). I know from experience with severe anxiety and depression that this type of abuse can also cause the symptoms (and brain damage seen) of PTSD, and needs to be addressed IMMEDIATELY!!
Kelz Larca good luck my friend just remember you are not along! 👍
Same 😩
My husband is a narcissist and had me arrested 2 wks ago bc he got physically abusive and convinced the police i was the aggressor. You are so right about saying horrible things bc he has said the worst things to me imaginable. He said he won't go to court but after last night after taking off all night, he said he's putting me in jail and he's divorcing me. This video u made is spot on! He has literally done every single thing you have said! And couseling doesnt wrk bc he won't even do it
Wow. This is my story to a T
My narcissist husband discarded me over six months ago I served him divorce papers and now he’s saying he’s in counseling and wants to know if we can save our marriage in one breath and in the next blames me for anything and everything. I know he’s trying to make me drop the divorce but I’m not going to fall for the “I’ve changed” lie. I know he’s lying and a plot to come back and punish me for having the nerve to try to leave him
Don’t fall got it. Please
With a narc, don’t let him know you’re leaving until after you’ve left.
Oh my god, exactly. They literally say it in one breath. How are these narcissist so dailed in to exactly a type of person? Doing precisely exactly the same thing like they learned it in a book?????!!!!!
My advice and I hope you follow it. Don’t try to have a meeting with him avoid to all causes. Never ever , the last meeting where he just wanted to be friends with you it’s actually the last meeting! Get an attorney and let the attorney communicate with his attorney. Don’t even take calls or messages. Your life depends on it. Stay safe !!!
OH MY GAWWWD!!! I am driving home from the lake on my motorcycle, a friend of mine forwarded this video link to me and suggested it. I have been listening through my ear buds and I LITERALLY almost drove off the road in utter amazement. I have never heard anything like this. It sounds as if you have been living in our closet and you have described my soon to be ex wife to the letter. Absolutely text book accurate. I’m blown away. So hugely helpful to have heard this. Especially during this trying time. Thank you so much for putting this out. Outstanding content. Well done!!!!
Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later
Hope you made it home safe & didn’t drive into a ditch 🙂 but in all seriousness I’m glad you got away from your narcissistic ex!
How are you doing a year lately? Hopefully you made it home safely😊
💖💖💖
Dealing with one right now. We have a house together and and “nothing belongs to me. Married 13 years, 3 kids, he had several affair and “I’m the one that is breaking our marriage”
“The problem in our marriage is not that I keep cheating it’s the fact that you keep bringing it up”😑.....leaving with nothing and finding peace and selflove!
😭
Wow very similar to my situation
Get a good attorney
oh hon! you're not alone!
“They want to hurt you they want to make you suffer because they’re suffering so much inside”
I was a stay at home mom and when I left him he cut me off financially, maybe understandable in any divorce but divorce is hard, divorcing a narcissist is harder but without a lawyer and on my own was the hardest. It was the hardest thing I ever did but I did it. I was fair in what I asked for and I got it. It took a year, it was the hardest thing I ever did but I found my self worth, I found a new career. I got a home and I did it while raising my four children. Here we are 4 years later and I even found a healthy relationship and I got engaged, well a week after my engagement was announced he filed to take me back to court. I am fortunate that I was able to hire the attorney I wanted the first time. So here we go again it’s basically a second divorce I’m about to go through but I’m aware of him and I’m in a good place but I’m finding old emotions come up and I need remember who I’m dealing with. Thank you for these videos.
Thats the sad part if you have kids with one the old emotions of them shell you once thought was just confused but strategically sabatoged, hated you, hurt you, stabbed you in the back every time you tryed to believe in the piece of shit, tryed to destroy me, ignore them, be stoic, & little to no time being around them, their pathetic
I got devorced a month ago. I have child and i don't work yet... i am going through a undetermined path but i know that this is the best way... i blame myself why i even chose him... but thank my parents and everyone who suppors me to deal with that awful narcissist...
I literally got chills when you talked about this narcissistic character. Its exactly my soon to be ex wife. To a T.
You too? Awesome
@@Awklife oh absolutely. It's like the last 6 years make complete and total sense now. Her other videos about what narcissists do after are accurate as well. And the method of cutting them out is correct as well. Its nuts
I'm in the same boat. I'm struggling with all this. She makes it seem like I'm the crazy one. I feel bad for our kids tho. I know that if I don't end it, I'll become I'll from the stress and anxiety. Oh, and recently found out she was unfaithful.
@@roryrichards9340 Man. I am in the same boat too. She had atleast 1 affair that I know of and as I go through the divorce, she is out for blood.
I wanted to do a dissolution just to get it over with and I was willing to work with her on everything but, she refuses!
@@christopherdeason5933 It's not easy. I realize that this person isn't my friend and I don't know her anymore. I hoping this all gets worked out quickly. It's difficult being in the same house knowing that she's still seeing people. It's not that I'm not able to, it's just not where my head is right now. All I can think about house the family will be broken and it kills me. I also know that I will become a better person in the long run. The stress is weighing on my health.
Divorcing a narcissist after 35 years of marriage. If it weren’t for my wise daughters, who are 19 and 22, I would not have escaped. You have helped me understand what is happening. It is so difficult not to try to make his family and his lawyer see through the lies. We have moved out and have a home to live in while the divorce processes. We are so fortunate. Even the dogs are happier! We are healing. Your video makes so much sense and I plan to listen to it over and over. I am not taking care of myself at all but I am going to start. Thank you. I have imagined my empty “tool box” and I plan to start filling it.
Tina Messec,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌷,You don’t need a narcissist in your life!
You are so in pount!! I have to co-parent with my ex. I set boundaries. We only communicate thru email, our child is 11yrs old has a cell phone so I do not have to communicate with the dark side. He is not allowed to come to My home. Pick up & drop off at school. I have a Good friend to go on My behalf so I don't have to see or interact with that. My attorney was awesome! I was truly blessed. That being was real bitter, lies about everything! Tried to say hurtful things to upset me. I prayed long and hard. It worked in my favor.
Stay strong ppl, know that you are better than them inside & out!! They're pathetic!!
It's a blessing to be single.
No one has ever said and did such hurtful thing's to me as the narcissist I married. I've never experienced anything like this before.
Wow 😳
I’m in this divorce with my ex wife.
It’s just as you say. A total disaster and the person I have lived with for 20 years shows a side that I haven’t seen before.
It’s important to highlight that it’s not only men that can be a narcissistic person.
Totally right, I am getting divorce with my wife, even though she accepted the things she done wrong she would deny all of them 5 minutes later and try to point fingers at me and play the victim role, no one is perfect we all make mistakes and without accepting them we just can't work on them.
Same here. Am seeing a side I initially didn't see, later didn't want to see. Like most of us.
These people are robots. They’re all the same, behave the same way. Operate as clones.
I'm preparing for my divorce from my narcissistic husband. However, going no contact living in the same house as roommates seems challenging. I have no place to go and my funds/income are extremely low. It's starting to look like I have to leave everything... I'm praying for guidance... Thank you for sharing.🌹
In the same boat. I moved everything into my son's old room and changed out the door knobs for 1 that had a lock and needs a key, so when I'm either in my room and don't want him just barging in or at work I can lock it. Now my husband is extremely tech savvy and super paranoid, so I had to get creative with all new accounts, locked down my phone tight, got my own banking account so he can't access my money, he has had his own for a while and we have a joint, but just now was able to get my own. I had to tell him I had an appt I had to get to and went to the bank. Also bought some small cheap security camera so I can put in my room to make sure he isn't going through and taking my stuff, because I know if he wants to get in my room bad enough he will. He would just go get a key made or something. Mine has so much stuff he has hid from or locked up so I can't have easy access and have to ask permission in order to use whatever. He hid a video camera in our bedroom a while back thinking he would catch me having an affair or something, idk and of course he never did, but since then I have to make sure I go through everything and check for mics and cameras. Also had to get pretty creative hiding stuff that I didn't want him to access to or know about. Safety deposit box would be good idea or storage unit, but some stuff I may need access to immediately.
It's hard to keep them out of your head and heart by seeing them everyday. I think it's harder on us emotionally to have to live this way instead of just being able to leave. But I completely understand. Just remember the bad times when he starts being nice and trying to get things back to the way they used to be. You are strong. You can do this. Stand your ground. You deserve happiness, love, and peace.
Oh lord, I feel for you. Tried to let my husband stay here because he had no where to go. Continued to get worse until I needed a restraining order. He's out of the house now and I'm healing. They have no boundaries, respect for us, and only know pain and hate. It's insanity. Try to get out somehow...
God bless you on your journey.
D
Sounds like a few of us are in the same boat! Moved into our Master Bedroom. We live in a 4 bedroom house. My friends laugh when I call it my “2bedroom/1ba house. Purging and packing while waiting for God to deliver me from the 23year jail sentence! 🤦🏿♀️
He thinks I’m organizing for the new year! My finances are all screwed up because of his choices, but you can best believe I’m getting 1/2 of his freakin retirement for all this Financial & Emotional Hell!!
#KeepStrivingAndPraying
#YourBreakthroughisComing
@Vivienne Cooper that is my present situation...God is fair, He will ensure you get what is due to you... pray, pray, pray
Michelle Witter thank you! On my knees daily!
This may be old. I’m not be technically advanced. You may never get this. I just wanted to say a few things.1. You have single handedly, unequivocally, and miraculously changed my life. 2. For two years I floundered. Today, out of the blue, right before my settlement conference with a horrific narcissist I stumbled across your channel. 3. I am FOREVER GRATEFUL. 4. With your faith and strength I got EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR. Like I said I don’t know if you will ever get this. You have done me a great justice. May the Lord shine upon you and keep you. All the days of your life.
1 second ago
Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later
Amazing. I just stumbled across this as well and going through this process after bring married 21 years and it is so accurate. I agree with what you just said.
17:27 you are absolutely correct!!! It is a lot!! 😕😔, like no joke. Most hurtful part for me is that I have to co parent with this woman 😔, we didn’t even make it to a year of marriage. It really sucks being in such a situation like this trust me. I’m literally going through this right now as I’m typing she’s constantly texting insults and other crap to get a reaction out of me, thank God I’m holding up and not responding nor reacting because that’s what she wants. I just need to stay strong. Please pray 🙏🏽 for me guys.
how's everything now?
I just divorced about 6 months ago. It was a mess and I gave up everything. We were in debt with our home and a home equity loan. We sold our home to our son but there was no money left over.
My dad passed and he left me his home so whoa is me my ex says, Oh, "At least you have a home where I have to rent." I did not respond.
I am now totally better off with money in the bank for once in my life...I AM FREE!
Truth about narcissists always want to hurt and destroy you and make you suffer...
Wooow!! Married 4 years pain after pain, confusion, broke financially, drained 🥺lost, pray fast no results!! You are talking exactly my husband. 4 months I stopped to talk because it’s been a circle I’m done with that, I took of my rings preparing myself for divorce because I am exhausted exhausted exhausted in this marriage oh Lord. Thank you
I’m in the middle of a divorce, and it can be hard emotionally at times. This video was very helpful.
I realize that I had to stop talking to my STBX spouse to get myself better.
I'm about to go thru it. I didn't know this condition was so common. I'm so messed up right now. Mixed emotions, turning stomach, but feelings, anger, etc. I wish I could stay for the sake of the kids but if I don't end this, I'll become sick from the stress. I can see now that she will NEVER changed. I can't wait til this pain is over.
Do not let the love of your life go away and sleep next to somebody else. You can win back their love and make it too deep that the oceans are jealous. Do not let anyone get between you and your relationship goals, cast a real love spell on your partner and protect them from getting attracted to anyone else who is not you.
Rory Richards I’m in the same spot. Planning my exit now.
@Special Made You seem to be rather unwell
@SpecialMade, why would you want to make a special effort to feed the " monster" who has already fed you with so much" unwanted, pain ,trauma n heartache" ?You need healing😢😢😢 n therapy 🔥🔥🔥
OMG this is so true about how they want to make you suffer! God forbid you respond or act any other way they don't want you to because you will pay dearly!
Omg!!! You brought tears to my eyes. Ive gone no contact almost 2 months & have consulted attorney to start div process. The fear of what's to come gives me anxiety & im seriously using this time to strengthen my mind & heart for the div battle. Thank you so much for these tips... brought immense clarity to me. Thanks again!!! #survivor
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Howre you doing
I recently discovered I’m married to a narcissistic man after 17 years. I don’t know how I was so blind. I guess I always believed everything was my fault.
Same!!!! 15 years married and he was so good that i believed i was the problem too. My eyes are open now. Its been exactly a week since me and my children moved out. Good luck to you.
Same here
Same! 10 years of my life and I didn’t realize it. Never knew the thorough definition of narcissism. He asked me if I thought he was one after telling me he doesn’t want to be married anymore.
This sucks but I will get through this.
She always made it my fault to the point where I wondered
So painful to go through, but everything you said is exactly how it is. Very helpful video.
Eclectic Alu 6
Wow, so glad I found this video. I went through divorce from a cover narcissist less than a year ago. You get it! Not many understand what you go through, I am glad they don’t. Mediation was a waste of time, I agree. Dont take the bait, don’t react- you are so right. At the end it was pretty fair, you have to be realistic, no one is going to get everything you want. I actually went to the court house and read several divorce cases that the judge ruled on to get an idea of how it might go. That was helpful. Document everything, I still do 10 months later. I have been in court 3 times including temp parenting plan, divorce trial, and one contempt of court which she was found guilty of. Now i deal with alienation, they never stop. So vindictive and vengeful too. All you can do is control you, hard lessons to learn. Thank you for this video, viewers listen to her she is spot on.
What you are describing is exactly what I went through. Great advice on lawyer as well. Also, finding that one or two good friends that you can call at anytime of the day and then twist is a must! I was on my knees talking to God throughout the entire time of my divorce with a narcissist. 4 years later I am so happy and full of joy! I also did absolute no contact with this person. I was married 25 years and he asked for a divorce. I was blindsided.
I ended up marriying a narcissist that came from the identical and i mean identical situation you described. They were married 25 years. Our marriage lasted 4 years. Still married but in process of dissolution . I don't know if he left for someone else. I have never stopped beating myself up for believing his lies. I know i hurt this woman. I wanted to contact her many times but i didn't want him to find out. The consequences if that would have been my worst nightmare. As if what I'm going through now is not its version of hell. Suffice it to say i think ive coone along way in paying my dues for hurting this woman. I will always carry the guilt and shame of hurting this woman. Im bankrupt, isolated, everyone believes him. I feel i deserve that for what i did to Patty.
I just wanted to take the opportunity to share this for all the people who were dumped by their narcissists. Maybe for some closure. Satisfaction. You deserve it. Don't forget they recycle!! My soon to be ex is now living with his exwifes son. His ex stepson. Im terrified for them. I had access to his google account for a while. I saw every conversation, every search, his location. Who he was with. My former friend is his hew supply. His former wife and family have allowed him back into their lives. They believe him. I have proof of all his lies. About everything!! Including pages and pages of grahic videos he watched of torturing women.. prostitutes. Drugs.,bank accounts. I hope that they can see the truth and aren't further victimized. My friend (haha). I'm sure next time I see her she will have aged 20 years. She knew about him. I just let that one go. Anyway I just want to be able to help someone who may be going through this situation. The Other Woman does not win. The one he left does. There's no soul in these things. They are not people. I have seen what's behind the mask. Terrified is not a strong enough word. It will haunt me for the rest of my days. Evil incarnate. I wish peace and prosperity to all who are dealing with this. nightmare. Thanks for the oppurtunity to share. It was a way of healing and moving on for me. ✌
Great advice for long termers
Candy Barrows, you deserve a better man not a narc 🙄!
💖
WOW, how did I just find this now? Could have helped so much after going through a 2 year divorce. I swear everything in this video is so accurate it’s scary.
Thank you soooooo much for making this video!!! I have felt like I was on the verge of going crazy and felt so defeated and hurt until your video. Today has been so hard for me and you have encouraged me just at the right time. I have an 11 month old now but he was only 3 months old when my ex left us for my doula, but they were just friends. He blames me for kicking him out!
Thank you so much for making this video, it has given me my strength back🤗
Evelyn Wilson,hope you are not with a narc 🙄 cause you are too precious 🌹🌹🌺!
I’m going to watch this every day until the papers are signed, I so easily fall for his fake kindness. Need to remember there is an agenda behind every move. Great advice and thank you a million! Your videos are one of my Go To stress relieving activities.
My drained energy becomes his fuel
I've been planning this divorce for a year, we've been married 39 years so I thought I'll just change how I respond. That was 4 years ago and I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. My 2 daughters are his empaths, I have no support system so other than some part time work I sleep 12 or more hours a day. He's feeding off that?? Thanks for sharing that. Thinking what I'm in for at my age scares the h---l out of me
Cindy Hoelting It's extremely difficult and terrifying. I left my ex last spring after 13 years together and a 9 year old child together. I've spent thousands in lawyer fees. The absolute best advice I can give you is to plan this out well and carefully. I unfortunately had to leave quickly, and had no choice, but if I'd been able to plan it out better, I would have. Document everything you can. Record things, write things down. Save emails and texts, etc. I was isolated from everyone. He had my family convinced it was all me. My daughter is still so manipulated by him. I had no support. If your city or town has a domestic violence shelter, you can go there and talk to an advocate for free. You don't have to stay there, they will help you and become a support system for you. It doesn't have to be physical violence for them to help you. Make sure you find an attorney who is very familiar with these types. He will probably use the sleeping against you. Seek out a therapist who will back you up waaaaaayyy before you make the move. I'm still scared and hurting, but it was essential I leave. This is a good video. She's absolutely right. He will use anything and everything against you. You have to prepare yourself like you're going into battle. It's unreal.
@@carrie2518 This all sounds so terrible- you are amazing. A true survivor. Thank You for the added information, and especially the inspiration....
Oh yes, that's so right!!!
How are you doing, please can will talk in private
I've been watching Stephanie for over 4 years, she's always on target. The divorce process is a challenge, going on 1 year 3 months. However i strongly agree and believe, her tips are crucial to the overall outcome.
Thank you!
Omg....I can totally see it now....im preparing now for the nightmare can't wait till it's over already and didn't even start yet.....ugh 😕
Thanks 4 your help....and good advice !!!
I saw that train coming at me too. Didn't make things any better when it happened unfortunately(I hope that is not the case for you and your prep helps soften the blows).
I advise you get your hands on as much documentation(bank statements, life insurance policies, etc.) as you can before you get locked out of accounts and what have you. They will lie and proof refuting their lies is very powerful.
I'm probably not even halfway through. The saga started with her evading the service processor for 3 weeks at the beginning of the summer.
Every mediation or pre-trial court appearance is a non-stop festival of subtle(occasionally its overt, but she is very conscious of the facade) jabs at my tender areas in her efforts to draw supply and get me to react in front of others. I did a good job last time and managed to ignore every single attempt. On the way out she tried to corner me in the courtroom foyer and I side stepped her like she was an inanimate object. She finally started to boil over and her attorney had to physically drag her away. Not giving the N the fuel they feel so entitled to is a great strategy by the way. This was the first time I managed to do this successfully and I can see the power in it. I hope I can stay motivated to keep it up.
Hopefully you do better than me and get it right from the beginning :). Good luck!
interview your Lawyer and ask them if they're educated about the pathological lying narcisist. it'll save you because he will make you out to be the monster
Doreen Davenport,you are too precious 🌹🌹🌷 to be with a narc 🙄!
@@oscarwilliamson1264 awhhh...ty 😊
@@trustinme123 you are welcome my dearest 🌹🌹🌺🌺🌹🌹.I'm Oscar Williamson from the States ❤️.You?
I’m divorcing someone with many narcissistic traits and this advice is wonderful. I did the same thing last month with my attorney explaining a very complicated business/relationship/coparenting mess of a situation and all it did was cost me a fortune, it didn’t help with the divorce. She’s so right. Listen to UA-cam videos of Stephanie’s instead, she’s amazing!
Fantastic video, best on the internet on this subject hands down. Don't ever stop making videos, you have such a gift of insight. God bless you Stephanie!
Hii baby hw r u,
I'm single and you
I love these videos! I just watched her first one yesterday and have watched 2 today. I was married to a narcissist for almost 35 years and divorced him 2 years ago. Now he's trying to hoover me back. Anyway I did therapy for 2 years and just recently quit because I didn't feel like it was helping. Just watching Stephanie life coaching for 2 days has helped me more than 2 years of therapy. Thank you Stephanie 😊
Everything you said in this video was absolutely true. They HAVE to win. They want to destroy you!!
I am glad my therapist showed this video while at the beginning of my process. I have been married to a textbook narcissist for 8 years (still legally married). This is the wake up I needed.
Expect the unexpected. Was with him for 13 years and at the end he punctured my tires and broke into my safe and stole me engagement and wedding ring when I left him alone in the apartment to move his stuff. He called my friends, family and coworkers trying to turn them against me thankfully they know my heart and rightfully, are asking now why did I put up with him that long.
I always knew he was impulsive but never thought he was a criminal. I fight with myself every day not to sink to his level because I could ruin his life but I love his kids and I know how disappointed they would be in him. Protect every aspect of yourself guys.
mosparr just made a video titled this exactly!
I cannot believe how much a person who destroyed you so much can blame you for everything
You've summed up my life right there
Stephanie have described my divorce experience precisely.. I have been in court with my narcissist ex wife for 12 years now. Everything Stephanie says is 100% applicable to my case. I wish I had watched this 12 years ago. Thank you. Incredible.
Please make a video on Enforcing Boundaries, especially with a narcissist
OMG, you are dead on! I've watch so many videos and this is the one that make the most sense. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing, there's really nothing new under the sun ,at times we go through things and are tempted to think we are the only ones but when you see videos like this we understand that such evil naccississt are so many and we need to be more careful next time we get into relationships, been going through a horrible divorce and it's already 3 years now and he just wants me to suffer but I hv developed a thick skin against his wickedness and am busy working on making myself better now.
Excellent points & very helpful. Currently going through divorce w/ my husband who is a dangerous covert narcissist (which was a completely new term to me, but I’ve become educated on it...thank you!). You’ve been wonderfully helpful in my recovery process & I can’t thank you enough for sharing your knowledge & experience. ❤️
Yes, very dangerous indeed finally got my divorce almost 3 months GOD is good!
Dtella55 need help seeking legal counsel. I very desperate for referrals. I live in Atlanta, Georgia. I will appreciate any suggestions if anyone has legal counsel in this state.
Ditto, they are all dangerous especially coverts!
Jennifer Boyce I am also dealing with a covert narcissist. Trying to convince him we need to get a divorce, but trying to let him pull the trigger because if I do, I will be mentally tortured until I get any equity from the house and could move on. How did you all afford an attorney? It’s $5,000 retainer here in California. At that rate I can’t afford to pay attention.
Jane Knose did you find someone yet? I have a great lawyer.
Going through this now, even though it’s almost over they still try to control you through the kids. It’s sick and sad but leaving these evil bully’s is the only answer. Looking forward to our new life ahead ❤ Great advice 😊
Yesterday I decided to leave. I told him he could have it all. I don’t want anything but my freedom.
Going through the same thing myself. He won't leave my house (tenancy agreement in my name). Not sure if I should give up my home for this person to live comfortably.
Your attorney won't take the job if you don't allow them clean the mans clock.
Filed January 2020, quarantine hit, she still in house in October 2020 refusing to leave. I'm big into self relaxation, take good care of myself, and will make it. Glad I researched and knew to be ready for the wildest ride life can offer...... Knowledge is power
This is so unbelievably spot on. I wish I had come across Stephanie when I first got divorced. It doesn't end when you get divorced however... going on 4 years over here :(
Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later
Have you tried energy healing and ending spiritual contracts and cords? Life changer xx
Thank you so much for posting your videos! Mediation worked for me, of course she'd told too many lies that would have come out in court though. It's still not easy and I'm concerned about how her lying is going to affect my daughters as they grow up. I guess all I can do for them is be a steady presence in their lives. These videos will be great when they're old enough to understand.
I went thru mediation also and she had a proposal that I went thru and took a red pen and lined out everything she wanted. Mediator took it to her and I heard her screaming from across the hall. Mediator came back and said she won’t accept and I packed up to leave and told mediator that I will see her and supply in court. I said remind her that she is an openly admitted adulterer, abandoned her kids, refused custody, AND I have copies of text messages supply sent to my ( at the time 13 yr old daughter) from her mothers phone harassing her. When I told wife that he should knock that shit off she laughed!!! That’s where the moral clause came from I mentioned previously as my attorney had my daughter file an affidavit with the court describing what happened, how her mother refused to stop it, and daughter felt supply was a pedafile. When u deal with these people u do all u can to protect ur self and children!
I have mediation in April, it will be one yr to the day that papers were filed. He does not have a lawyer now, they dropped him because he lied and defied court order. I have every imaginable doc, pic, everything I think he will try to lie about and even his exs documents in case he tries to recycle the lies! I've only spoken with him once in 9 months. Oh and my lawyer, she just divorced a N herself, so she is aware of all the games! Any other advice for mediation!?
I was in a violent toxic relationship with someone I loved for 4 tears she would use my like a punching bag but I still felt like I needed her to live I love this video helps me to see a little better
Same here there sick in the head
Just so tired, I did not know so much till a friend pointed this out to me. I used to beg my kids to please not upset their mom. I never new almost 25 years. I hurt my boys so much for staying. Thank you so much for the information, and help. She has started this behavior we do not exist attitude. My 17 year old son has suffered the most. Thank you again
“Holishit I AM A BADASS”!!
Love it!!! Thank you for your words of wisdom!! You are a wise beautiful soul❤️
Wish me luck... 25 years coming to an end...I look forward to the next chapters!
Oregon Friend your freakin beautiful!!
Oregon Friend I hope you are doing well & things are not to bad during this process.
Oregon Friend - best of luck and prayers to you!
Oregon Friend, you are too precious 🌹🌹🌷 to be with a narc 🙄!
Wow... That was excellent! A friend told me to listen to your clips... I filed for divorce to a narcissist woman my 2nd marriage going to shambles as we have two gorgeous baby daughters that I do not want them to see the evil side of their abusive mother both physically and emotionally... My current career does not allow this kind of domestic abuse and puts everything I worked so hard for on the line... Thank you for your knowledge and experience, I will be watching more and gaining more from this experience.
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Thank you thank you thank you 🙌🏼🙌🏼 I am going through the process right now and have been so confused why he is being so difficult!! This makes everything so much more clearer for me. This video really helps me be stronger and prepared while moving forward with this divorce 💪🏼💪🏼❤️
One of the most enlightening parts that we don't realize till divorcing a Narc is their need and ability to solicit negative "fuel" (narcissistic supply) They may not even know they are soliciting it because in their mind what ever their words or actions are are rational, they're entitled to, you deserve just that, or you are outrageous and they are the virtuous victim.
The ex narc I was married to for 15 years somehow paid off my attorney and during our mediation both his attorney and my attorney with my ex came into agreement about everything…I was extremely depressed and had panic attacks after so much abuse from the narc that I was not all there…my attorney comes out of the mediation room after 3 hours and tells me we have to decide now on the divorce and take whatever he’s offering me because if not my daughters and I were gonna be left with nothing…I came out of it with our home that we still owed on and he kept everything else…this is a man that abused me every which way possible and had several affairs and now he had taken everything we’d work so hard for…I still have to thank God for setting us free from the most evil man I have ever met!
Great tips and excellent advice. They are totally true. Appreciate your video so much!
Dealing with a narc, just know that “there’s no one behind the wheel”... Best description of the situation ever!
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Stephanie, you’re a great speaker. Forward march. Very grateful. Ugg, compassion, ok
Thank you so much. This really is going to be the hardest thing I need to do. I've been with my narcissistic husband since I was 13. I am now 54.
It’s never to late to reclaim your life. Wishing you all the best ❤
wow, it will be hard...i have been with a narcissist for 25 years and am scared to hell ...but I feel I need to do it to save my kids and their sanity
Oh my gosh! I went down. It was the worst. I learned the hard way. I wish I had a coach. Great video hopefully everyone out there do this! I am doing great now. It was the absolute worse time. I’m grateful now.
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OMG I am so grateful that I came across this video! I have felt helpless for years! I am now looking up all of your information. I am a grateful new fan. Thank you for sharing this Stephanie.
Audrey Puente,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news
Thanks for this, I'm really starting to feel a little overwhelmed with the path she is taking and the venting of her pain onto me. This was a little helpful. 🙂
That was the most well rounded 22 minutes i've seen on this topic. thank you.
You speak the truth. Thank you for making me feel normal and not crazy every video I watch is like I’m watching my life unfold.
Your gift of understanding is immeasurable to me right now and I can’t wait to watch the next one so thank you for helping me seriously thank you!!
Excellent video. All points are incredibly valuable. It's pure effing hell. My ex is truly a sadist. Point 4 was great and same for me. While interviewing attorneys I looked past any of them who said no you won't get that. It was worth standing strong for myself in that regard. I ended up with an attorney who, while difficult to work with, did an outstanding job for me and got more than I would've thought. You really need to brace yourself for the battle of your life both externally and internally.
Sacred Light good for you. I am currently in a situation seeking new counsel! I was unaware of the choice in choosing a good Attorney at first. Now, I am here reporting her to the Bar and trying to find a new attorney.
Jane Knose good for you for reporting to the bar. Are you going thru trial? My ex dragged me thru the most brutal trial with smear campaign and every word he spoke was a lie. I was in bed for literally a month detoxing it was so painful. I'm wishing you the best. There are great videos out there on how to divorce a narc. Let me know if you would like me to share ones that helped me.
Sacred Light I am in the beginning or what they call the Discovery/Interrogatories stage. I welcome any resource for information that would be helpful. Thanks a buch.
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I am sending you prayers. You CAN and WILL do this and get thru.
Absolutely worth it. I am much happy now than when I was with him.
I'm so thankful you do these vidoes for everyone to learn. It has really helped me see what the real issue has been between my husband and me. I hv been looking for an answer for everything I hv been feeling for years now. U r awesome. #thankful4u
Penny Leyva,hope you are not with a narc 🙄 cause you are too precious 🌹🌹🥀🌺!
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This is so crazy fantastic!!!! Love your video. Stumbled upon it. I am going through exactly everything you said!!! I have to remain steadfast & dogged. Its painful. Its hard. Its confusing. But i have to push on & get justice . Its now in the court system. Mid way through. Its so obvious to the judge she lied and lied her way through. Thank God i kept all my documents, receipts, police reports, videos etc. I just need to heal. Narcs dont like to be exposed - which i had to do finally, they dont like defiance - well, i did and they dont like to lose a good supply. I make a solid 6 figure income per annum and she used me like crazy financially. We have 2 grown sons whom she poisoned against me. She has no boundaries, no accountability, she smeared my name, made people turn against me by being a "victim". Well, the court has seen her lies, she hardly has any documents worthwhile. I slayed her lawyers too simply by telling the TRUTH!!! And i did not budge!!! I just want to heal, to move on, to sort out my life, to feel and look better, i've lost weight - in a good way, by eating better and exercising. Thank God i've got great friends helping me through this. Your video is spot on. Thanks again!!! Subscribed!!!
A couple months ago I realized something was not right in my relationship and I felt like I was going crazy. My emotions were off the charts, I realized that it was not me it was a reaction to my husband's complete disregard for my feelings and boundaries. I took a step back and started putting myself first, almost like being on the outside looking into my relationship. And I felt good started gaining my confidence back because I started to find myself again i went through old family photos and got a sense of self and self worth. When I did this my husband noticed but not in the good way I expected but he said "you've been acting really weird lately are you ok?" The way he said it i felt he didn't like what I was doing and I felt that wasn't right because he is my husband he should be happy or proud that I began to do better and feel better. He wasn't, so that got me to think...who does that? And I thankfully know now that I was right it wasn't me, it never has been he is a narcissist and the best thing I can do is to keep putting me first.
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Great Video. Both my current husband and I went through a divorce like this. Now I’m helping my brother go through this so I’m going through looking for information to help him. This video will be a huge help! Thank you for sharing.
Alicia T, you deserve a better man cause you are too precious 🌹🌹🥀🌺!
Alicia T, you got a lovely smile
How are you doing, I'm very sorry for what happened to you Honey can will talk in private
I'll say it again.. three years later: Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
Just started process. Thank you!
I am so thankful for this video, I am going through a divorce with my narcissist wife and this is 100% accurate even with using my lawyer to vent...thank you for uploading!!
I feel you !!!
this is definitely true and quite helpful. realized late in my marriage that I'm dealing with a narssist and things are turning ugly.
Married to Narc for 30 years, free now but I am living one day at a time right now. PTSD. Still happier though that every day I wake up and he is not here and I am not walking on eggshells and trying to figure his moods and when he is going to explode at me or anyone who has the unfortunate timing to be in his way🙏
Susan Collison,hope you are not with a narc 🙄 cause you are too precious 🌹🌹🥀!
Susan Collision, you deserve better
God put us here on earth,To love, to live, and to learn,To obey His Golden Rules And for Him we should be firm. He wants us to be an example Of all that He stands for, To love everyone on Earth And to have Faith and Trust and more. We are in a way His disciples For the years we live on earth, He wants us to spread His word With compassion and much might.how are you doing,please can will talk in private
I enjoyed every bit of this because its my story to the T . The crazy thing is I never knew i was married /divorcing a narcissist until I seen this video.
thank you for your videos. 100% my year. I finally have seen what's been going on the last ten years. You're videos are helping my get away, be the stable parent, avoid reactions, handle my in laws, etc. but most importantly, I am LOVING the way you say "strength"!! Keep saying it!
No one behind the wheel…. Best phrase. She is operating on pure hate towards me right now and burying herself in the process. Currently in divorce process and cohabiting. Giving it until my lawyer sends a request until next major rage and my final day in what I thought was a home
Oh my gosh did this hit home!! Our mediator said he had never seen anything like my ex-husband. He said he was literally in the other room throwing a temper tantrum in front of his own lawyer. I have begun wondering if he was a narcissist, but I am always doubting myself.
Michelle McDermott your beautiful!
Michelle McDermott,you are too precious 🌹🌹🌺 to be with a narc 🙄!
Michelle McDermott,your lovely smile can make the news
Just found your videos as I’m now going through divorcing a narcissist. Very helpful and spot on! Thank you for all your videos you have posted! I’m feeling encouraged and looking forward to healing and bettering myself through this process!!
OMG my ex is Text Book...I just bursted out laughing when you mentionned the "LONG email"...I don't even read them anymore. Thank you for your videos. They make me feel less alone and sane.
The emails.. Oh my goodness. I had to google some of the words he used..lol
@@leahboynton1280 I hear you. Their sentences are sometimes a bunch of big words that end up not saying much...and makes you crossed eyes..
@@hulyah1989 Hulya h It's amazing how we simply don't realise it when we are in the relationship...but looking back, from outside that bubble, it's very clear. But yes, I believed everything too...Even if that meant to think I was not good at anything...except when he wanted to make me do something, then I was a superwoman who can do anything she put my mind to it...such manipulations.
OMG THE LONG EMAILS!!!! he’s even been sending them to my parents...proper smear campaign
Be Ye HOLY well my catholic priest has told me I absolutely must NOT go back to my abusive husband. So I think I’ll be listening to him and not you. What a horrible message to send to people who are trying to escape an abusive relationship.
Im going through your videos and have been finding it extremely helpful and encouraging
I am so glad i came across your channel. 🙏
You truly explain and touch on very important points.
I am currently coparenting with a Narcissist it is really stressful and drains the life out of me and on top of that my little girl is only 3 and he has her one week and I have her the other week so pretty much we have 50/50 costudy and it is not easy.
He is a criminal defense lawyer and I am just starting out my life I am 26 and he is 46 so theirs a lot of control coming form his part.
I have gone to court but because he is a lawyer and knows pretty much knows everyone his has gotten away with the abuse he actually got physical and pointed a gun at me while my daughter was in the room when I called the cops and told them what happened they discarded everything I said they didn’t even want to give me a report of what happened that night.
I went to court to only dismiss the case and not because I didn’t have prove but because I could not afford my lawyer. So I resorted to a legal aid lawyer not much was done in my case.
I am emotionally and physically drain but I have faith that god will give me a way so I can move on with my life and be happy with my daughter away from this toxic man.
I will not give up I will keep on fighting and will keep moving forward until justice is made.
Thank you so much for this videos they are really helpful ! keep on doing this amazing work because there are many of us women out there form different ages that are going through this and feeling like no one could understand or relate to our difficult situation.
Hopefully more of us women come out and speak, teacher, empower other women to fight for their rights and find self value for themselves to get out of this toxic and dangerous life changing relationships.
Are you married
Theirs a lot of men going thru this also!
Thank you a ton. I’m going through a divorce with a narcissist and i need all of what your saying. I’m experiencing all of what your saying and feel really good about your information. Again thank you and I will follow your advice tremendously!
I have a strong future seeing intuition and after the first month it became obvious I was going to experience almost everything you mentioned in this video(this intuition also flew in the face of everything I thought I knew so it was hard to accept at first). Even when my attorney and family were still being positive about the outcome. 5 months in and all of this has manifested.
It's good to get confirmation that this is normal. And apparently I had some emotion I was unaware of. I realize now that always keeping on the lookout and expecting the worst had me feeling paranoid. Hearing that everyone else goes through almost the exact same thing seems to bring legitimacy to how I assess these situations (dang self doubt creeps in everywhere!)
This was just so what I needed today. I needed someone to remind me that this sux, it's hard as heck, that i won't break, I will be better, happier and stronger for this. I know God never ever ever wastes anything. He grounds me. Pls put up more videos like this one. I need someone pushing me to do the little things because the little things seems like mountains right now and I'm not a rock climber. Defeat and lack of will is real. My lifeblood has been sucked dry of me. I know the HS lives within me and that is how I know I am still alive. Without Him, I don't know where I would be. I send so many huge loving hugs to everyone here reading and listening. I know your hurting and crying because I am too. You are loved.
I cannot divorce my husband due to my believes but, your videos showed me how to stand up for myself and work on it.
My husband brought me on a new continent - here in U.S with no relatives of mine, put me and our 3 years old kid isolated from the rest of the world. I don’t know how to drive. He is threatening to leave me without medicine, if I don’t obey. I skip one dose, I can die. Threatens to throw me on the street.
Ever since, I started applying your advice about how to limit our emphatic side and not feeding a narcissist due to the abuse in their past or whatsoever, he doesn’t know what to say.
I am watching your videos every day to get strength to stand up for me and our son.
As you say, self - parenting myself.
I have more hope and courage now.
Thank you!
I can't believe you had no feedback so far. I hope you are OK now, and I must say your baby is so sweet. God bless you
Please seek help. Call a local domestic abuse shelter. Ask in the library at your local court house librarian. Document everything. In court you have to show evidence that you are primary caregiver and he is an unstable person/parent.
I'm hoping you got away already, but if you haven't... Apply for public assistance for your meds. Then run to a shelter. In my experience, when you resist or stand up for yourself, they become more aggressive and/or begin setting up your discard. The discard will be done in the most cruel & vindictive way possible. It could even get physical. It's better to just flee to avoid experiencing that process all together.
@Be Ye HOLY as a believer myself, I agree with the Scriptures and ALSO believe what it says about the woman being fragile and that when a man doesn’t treat his wife right, his prayers are hindered. God by no means calls for women to stay subjected to someone who doesn’t exemplify the love Christ had for the Church. Abuse is NEVER okay! Period! I’ve been to married to my husband for 16 years and have endured lots of verbal and emotional abuse, and neglect unnecessarily because I was told by leaders at church to “get it right with him, fix it and keep praying for him”. Truth is, a narcissist is incapable of seeing his/her need for God or to change. Using Scripture to bombard people with staying in unhealthy, ungodly, EVIL, toxic marriages is NOT God’s desire nor His design for what family is supposed to look like. He desires to see emotionally and spiritually healthy individuals, families that are whole and can impact this world with good example, and that’s impossible when living with a narcissist. Narcissistic abuse is shameful, and usually makes the victim live a life of pretending to the world to be okay. Narcs isolate their victims so they can drain the life out of you one offense at a time. I’ve been there and it’s a dark, low place to be in. Had it not been for God’s Grace reaching for me, I don’t know where I’d be now. Instead of bombarding people, please pray. Blessings!
Great information. Glad to have you here.❤❤