Not really... there's nothing wrong with a stepdad being more involved if the biological father is a PoS. The issue is in this case the stepdad is the PoS. But if he actually cared about this girl at all there wouldn't be a problem with him trying to force his values on her. The issue is he's trying to force his values on someone and he doesn't give a damn about them, which is very clear from the call. The other issue is he clearly is happy about her being gone and is only calling because the mother isn't and he's pretending to care.
Right! We need to teach children to be safe! Physically and emotionally. Coming to me about birth control is a welcomed sign that they are listening to me.
@@christinefaulk6531 Exactly. If I had children, I wouldn't them to be intimate so young, but if they were I'd rather them prevent getting pregnant, and tell me, ask me about birth control and not being a teen mom.
They hadn't even thought about these beliefs that are supposedly so strong. They couldn't answer how it contradicts loving your child As someone who was kicked out at 15 (not for the same reason they did) but it messed me up I already knew i wasn't loved but i had nowhere to go. And u ended up in a seriously abusive relationship amongst other awful experiences and addiction. Just wanting SOMEONE to love me. Even though i didn't raise that's what i was doing at the time These parents are so awful. They're clueless and they went into this thinking they had done the right thing just wanting confirmation and a pat on the back. So glad John called them on their BS.
I early on thought the same thing. .. a room, but not a home. The mom was instrumental in not doing for her daughter what her DAD did for her at the exact same age. How disgusting! The 16 yo daughter came from a long line of unwed parents for them to hold their daughter to a higher standard than ANYONE in the fam. I bet stepDad was married when he began the relationship with the child's mom. They are hypocrites!
The mother experienced ALMOST THE EXACT SAME SITUATION and was happy that someone supported her in time of need, and decided not to do that exact thing for her daughter
@@vlad23i _"Honey, taking birth control and exploring your sexual choices is dangerous. And that's why we're kicking you out. Have fun doing who-knows-what or who-knows-whom to get a roof over your head from now on. Yeah, we're awesome parents."_ 😎
Or what her teenage mom decided when she got pregnant. Those parents are worse decision makers than their teenage daughter. She's more mature than both of them are and were at her age.
The kid trusted her parents enough to ask them about birth control and they totally abused her trust. I hope she turns her back on them and stays with her father. Sounds like the mother is allowing her husband to drive the conversation and decisions.
We do not know the family dynamics & how long they have been together. I say this as a child of divorced parents that both parents remarried. My mom remarried when I was 3 and my dad when I was 18. My stepfather (calling him that here to prevent confusion) raised me as his daughter and nothing less. My father was an active parent & co parented with my mom & stepfather. My stepfather raised me and in that disciplined me when it was needed. Neither my mom or dad ever stated he overstepped his place. My stepfather was never a stepfather to me. He is my dad and now as an adult with kids. My children do not look at my “stepfather” as anything other than grandpa. They were just blessed to have 2 grandpa’s on my side of the family to love them. Remember there are step parents that have taken the role as parent for one reason or another. I don’t agree with these parents & their actions with their 16yr old. That is 100% not acceptable
@@Elkjin23 couple, as in the stepdad the girls Mum. They both made the decision for their home not him by himself. The mother was on the call, that’s what I meant.
@@star2like261 From the way, it sounds it’s seems like only the stepdad made the decision. The mom just went with it but once again, that was a decision for the biological father in the biological mother and that’s why, she went to her biological father’s house, and she’ll probably never talk to her mother again because of somebody who’s not even her parent, and that decision would have nothing to do with them kicking her out, but the reason they kicked her out it was not a very logical thing to do as an adult
@@kenyonbissett3512 I think it would take much more than repentance to fix what these parents messed up. Repentance without accompanying action falls a little flat for me.
I love that Dr. John asks, "How do you reconcile these conflicting religious messages" and you can tell that the parents haven't even considered that they are also supposed to have grace and forgiveness and love for their child. I can't help but feel so disappointed in these parents. I could never kick out my child, that's like the ultimate statement of "You are not welcome or wanted here".
Yeah but don't you know really fundamental religious people like this guy. They pick and choose what part of the Bible. They believe. They're both divorced. God never talked about birth control. Jesus never talked about birth control. But you know what Jesus does. Spend a lot of time in the Bible talking about divorce. So it's just hypocrisy. Threw and through. Not all religious people because most of them are not like this man. I'm just talking about people like him.
100%. Jesus was all about forgiveness, love, and acceptance. As Christians, these parents should be emulating that. Instead, they seem to want it to be their way or the highway. How people think that they can just tell a teenager to do something and that means they're going to do it is beyond me. Especially when the facts don't support it.
There you go! This is it... How come they put having sex before marriage over loving their daughter? If love is not your priority as a Christian, you are doing something wrong. That's how I see it .
💯Explain to her what character traits to look for when choosing a man to be romantic with. They completely missed an opportunity to strengthen their familial relationship and be honest with each other. IMO once a person learns green flags and red flags… they tend to abstain and wait for the right person.
They’ve taught their daughter that she can’t make her own choice about her beliefs. God gives us Free Will, but her parents didn’t extend that to their daughter. They taught her that their love is conditional. They taught her that rules are more important to them than her.
I was thinking they did something right for her to be willing to come to them first. They handled it very wrong. I hope they fix it. Especially her mother. This could have made her decide to never come to her again with anything.
Choosing your faith over your child is reprehensible behaviour. That girl is smart. If you're reading this, know you're going to be ok. I hope your father is looking after you better than these two terrible people.
They didn't choose the faith, the husband choose his ego, and the wife choose the husband, but the husband using faith the blinding the wife. It's done In the name of ego, but using faith
@@ElizabethHome153not so. When the mom clearly stated that it was her that gor triggered because of her own pregnancy at 16. It sounded to me as though the step-dad really cares about the daughter. Either way, it was a decision made by the 2. And would if be different if it was drinking in the house with the boyfriend? No, most would blow up over that. But sex?? Like that isn't a big deal. Smh
@abbasgirl8153 I don't get this. Drinking would obviously be less of a problem, and having a casual first beer was a positive experience with my father. Obviously, he wouldn't condone binge drinking and parties but he always emphasized safety when he could. He would prefer to see a 100 dollar Uber ride compared to his kids possibly being in danger. Do you understand how crazy it is to kick their daughter out of this? They literally ensured their daughter future trauma for the sake of their egos. You and the parents want to pretend that they care when they kicked their daughter out to do god knows what. Her parents are more concerned about maintaining her chastity and value for her future Christian husband than her physical safety.
I mean the Bible literally tells you to choose your faith over your child. Abraham is held up as an example for being willing to KILL his child on God’s command. You can’t have morality tales like that and then scratch your head when your religion leads to child abuse.
This is the most disturbing call I have ever heard. I was a 17 year old thrown out of my mother's house because of her husband. This is the most cruel thing to happen. I still feel these horrible emotions and I am now 59 years old. Why is this man speaking and not her mother?
Sounds like he,wanted an excuse to have her out of the house. He dies not want the responsibility of another man's child unless he can benefit. These same types have no problem having sex with a minor. What a control freak snd misogynist.@leeannrobinson2136
@@leeannrobinson2136 Even at the end he's still equivocating. And the tips he's been given - journaling, monthly date, etc. - they are all things he could very easily turn into weapons of control. I don't get the impression he has changed his stance at all.
True. My mother blocked my access to birth control. I haven't spoken to her in years. My grown son chooses not to have a relationship with her either. She has met her only other grandchild a handful of times. That's the consequence of her actions. It wasn't just the birth control I can assure you.
Exactly. The daughter wanted to and did do the right thing. The mom literally abandoned her daughter because of this. Completely ridiculous. The step- dad basically taking charge of the conversation over the mom. Ridiculous. The mom will regret this as years go by and her daughter doesn't open up to her or even want a relationship.
@dani4157 they only care to do what God says. You are the devil if you don't do everything that God says. Their God says sex before marriage is a sin, lust is a sin, therefore a tool that helps protect you from bringing a life into this world so that you can sin is a sin. The only solution to this problem in their eyes is either no sex before marriage or u will not live in God's house
As soon as I saw his face when he said “so yes we essentially kicked her out” I sighed with relief. I am SO glad he called them out on the BS. I’m so glad he defended her.
I think his response was actually a bit vague - I heard him say "supervise her on dates", journal together and "no 16yo should be on BC" but don't kick her out. So she lives there but can't get BC?
When I was 16 I was put on the pill with my mothers consent behind my step-fathers back because my periods were awfully painful, both catholics. One day I was rushing and forgot to put it away and he found it, I walked in the door and he smacked me straight in the face, she stood there pretending she didn’t know. I never forgave her. I’m 53 now and have never forgotten that, I’ve made it my business to let my own kids know they can come to me with anything.
My mother has told stories all my life about secrets she and her father kept from her mother. We were never close, my mother and me, but those stories made an impact. There's a lot I do to make sure my kids know they can bring anything to me--including dropping a subject when we're at the end of their comfort in sharing.
WOW I am so freaking sorry. Disgusting that your mother stood by and did not protect you. I'm also on birth control because my periods are awful. I would be LIVID if my parents punished me for receiving medical care that I needed. These religious nuts are delusional.
Getting pregnant at 16 then denying your 16 year old daughter birth control is absolutely wicked and hypocritical. These parents are headed straight for a nursing home after a long life of having an ice cold, half hearted relationship with their daughter and it’s their own fault. My mother asked me to tell her when I felt like I might need birth control. I told her at 16 or 17. She mistreated me and called me a wh*re even though I was a virgin. Now I’m 30 and she begs for me to tell her about my life. She created a relationship where I have no desire to open up or be close. I forgive her, I just don’t like or respect her as a person.
This is so sad(( My parents never talked to me about sex and it was fine. I mean about me actually doing it and when. All is fine. I never used birth control, btw. I mean the pills, just barrier. I have 3 daughters, almost, 8 months pregnant with 3rd. All happened when I wanted. My secret? Just one man, never sleeping around. It's not rocket science, your cycle+condoms.
I lost my virginity when 4 yrs old. My mom was so traumatized she never talked about healthy sex etc. Nothing. She's too religious as well. Judgemental always right narrow minded nuts. I don't sharemy life with her. I replaced her with my best friend I call my adopted mom. She likes me just as I am unlike bio mom whom I'm never good enough for
I agree w/your assessment and feel for you. You are absolutely right to draw your boundaries w/your mother and you are smart to be establishing them NOW when you are so young.
@morena162 I am appalled at these no good for nothing socalled christians who seem to forget the whole love thy brother , yet kick out their daughter for being responsible. Birthcontroll is taken for many reasons ,one of them just finding a way to make her periods easier.Not everything has to do with s.*.x, but even if, that's her body, her choice!! MOST IMPORTANT, BIRHTCONTROL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BIBLE .How is this even an issue in todays society?? I am well aware of the way Americas rightwing is currently stripping away womens rights state by state in the name of Jesus.Forcing their religion on everyone. It is time we take them back. Remember this when you vote in November.
This girl felt safe enough to come to her parents and ask them to help her in making a responsible choice, and they responded by kicking her out....what? This is how teenagers end up pregnant.
and now she is going to go live with her dad and because her mom used God and the church as her excuse to do what she did she's done with God and the church congratulations.
@@punk91 or maybe teenagers become pregnant because they are sexual active while still in highschool 🤣🤦♂️ Just an irresponsible decision all the way around
Thank goodness she has a dad to care for her because these jerks were threatening to take away housing, insurance, and her vehicle. Her mom chose this man over her daughter. There’s almost no way to recover from this.
I mean a vehicle truly is not that important, but housing and insurance definitely. That has got to be considered abuse. I wonder how they would have gone about handling this issue if there wasn't another family to dump the child on to.
@Nono-ut8kz that's literally not a thing 🙄 If all teens had to have tbeir own car to get school, millions of kids would be truant every day. Privileged much? Lol
@barefooterin2817 It depends on where you live and what school you go to. Some places don't have public transportation, and even if there are school buses, they don't allow for any extra curicular activities (sports, choir, student government, etc.) or after-school jobs.
No, not having sex is responsible. Getting on birth control so you can have sex without getting pregnant is not responsible. I don't agree with the parents, but that doesnt mean a minor doing adult things who can't even support themselves is responsible.
Step dad is punishing his step daughter for his wife's impurity, and mom is hating herself and punishing herself in the body of her daughter. Hope the kid goes and stays with her dad and stays away from these monsters.
@@dani4157the step father is kinda obviously annoyed that he didnt get to the mother as her first. He was all about the step daughter saving herself so that she could have a "fulfilling marriage" as if being a virgin on your wedding night somehow magically will guarantee that. (It doesnt there are so many factors that go into if you are happy in your marriage or not that its crazy to think that something like virginity will be a magic bullet for it all)
this. this. this. I notice that step parents will sometimes become even stricter parents because the child is a sign of who their partner was with before… nailed it.
They're not reading the Bible very well. God is merciful and forgives. God created our bodies and gave us sexual desires and orgasms as a gift. The book of Song of Soloman is about sex. God demands that you care for your children and treat them with respect. I could go on and on. They're hypocrites. The Bible says God hates hypocrites. There.
Wow for a TEEN MOM to kick her daughter out for trying to avoid teen pregnancy is INSANELY HYPOCRITICAL. The step dad said “WE believe sex should wait until marriage” but they admit they didn’t do that themselves.. ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
@@TheVeggiekatyes. The stepdad is a judgmental hypocrite. He probably just doesn’t want to keep paying for everything. And the mom sucks because she is prioritizing him over her child.
I bet step-dad can't stand bio-dad, and doesn't really like the daughter. Finding a way to use God as an excuse to kick her out was like hitting the lottery. Once she's gone, he only has 'his' family there and his life will be perfect. Mom is probably feeling guilty but can't be a 'Godly' wife and disagree with her husband. I kept waiting to hear 'How would you have held if, instead of loving you and figuring it out, your dad had kicked you out at 16?'
I watched this the other day, on the full podcast and something that stood out to me today is that stepdad said, "she's always had a room here". The daughter isn't a boarder or a roommate or a guest. She is the mother's minor daughter. Housing isn't negotiable, just as food, clothing, other medication, etc., wouldn't be. These are things you do for your kids because you have children.
So she lives between the two parents homes. Obviously she has room in both places. It’s how he says it that’s creepy and meanwhile the mother is listening but quiet
thank god that little girl has her dad and stepmom. i’m glad she has a safe haven from the abusive behaviors at her mother’s residence. the hypocrisy of the mother is confounding (“i got pregnant at 16 so i’m going to deny my child birth control so she’s more likely to end up the same way!”) and that stepfather is wildly overstepping. of course he’s her parent in his own way, but he should not be leading this conversation. her *biological* mother should be handling it as he supports her. ridiculous.
@@natalieeubank4533 That is a ridiculous thing to say. So when you drive your car you don't put your seatbelt on because of your high self esteem? People do things all the time, and protecting yourself is taking responsibility.
@@natalieeubank4533having sex with a man you love has nothing to do with your self worth. Sex is NORMAL and it’s a part of life. It CREATES life yet religious people demonize it as if it’s this horrible thing unless you’re married. It was a way for men to have further control over women.
She trusted you to come to you with a very grownup concern and you threw her out. WTF is wrong with you? This is how teenagers end up pregnant. Good job.
@@Tokiohotel192 He most certainly is a control freak, and I'll be willing to bet the whole idea of throwing the daughter out was *his* doing and the girl's mother had no say it in because she is afraid to go against him. He's trying to use religion as a shield to hide the fact that he is a big PoS.
@@YoYo_Ma Yeah, he really thought Dr. John was going to side with him. He had his wife on the line so she could hear Dr' John say he was right. He's got egg on his face now.
@@YoYo_Maactually I think the mom agrees. She did not seem emotional enough to have lost her daughter…and when John gave his opinion she said “that’s certainly something to consider” consider my ***…she has no intention of asking her daughter back home.
It's obvious that they were conflicted and that's why he called. They are worried that if they take her to get the pill then they are telling her it's okay to have premarital sex.
It absolutely galls me to my core that this girl's mother admitted that she solely depended on her single-parent dad to comfort and support her when she succumbed to her natural impulses and need for connection and had sex with a boy, yet she thinks it's appropriate and fine to inflict a scorched-earth approach on her own child!?!?
Things that the daughter learned: *love is conditional *if I want to hold onto this person's love I better do what they want. *I deserve the consequences of not giving him what he wants. So in 15 years, when she shows up to Thanksgiving dinner with a black eye and a fat lip after running into a door. Know that you were the ones who showed her that it was her fault.
This isn’t his daughter. What in the world is he talking about. This is a guy who has never experienced long term celibacy. He slept around, got married, THEN discovered “sexual morals”, which he wants to enforce on everyone else. I think this girl needs to be with her father. He is a way better parent. He isn’t a hypocrite. I guarantee if he wasn’t married, he would not be celibate for a decade.
Y'all make no sense. So because the parents acknowledge they made mistakes at her age they are obligated to let their daughter make those same mistakes?!? Bunch of clowns.
@@SnifferSock the daughter is literally doing the responsible thing by practicing safe sex. Scaring children into celibacy has never worked. It never worked with us, our parents, or our grandparents. Teen pregnancy has been declining over the years. Would they rather her have an abortion? Or get pregnant as a teenager? 🤨
I think we take for granted that her growing up w/o a mom is what makes it easy for her to not be a good one. You don't know what you don't know, sometimes. It sounds like she's a 32 year old, with a 16 year old daughter. She's very young for this situation, and obviously didn't get the tools she needed to be a good parent. She got religion.
@@robynpayne9448 I can see how that can be part of it. Or a possibility. People handle things differently. We all get shaped differently, even if we go through same situations . I just know it's wrong on the mom's part , and it's sad and I hope she opens her eyes or someone points out the obvious
Somehow, me too. The way he talked from the beginning, mentioning multiple times his religious values, made me feel he wanted her to save her virg. for him in the future.
I feel like he sees women who have sex outside of marriage as whores. His sex life with his wife isn't healthy because they are both full of guilt. God forgives. God created us to experience pleasure during sex, it's a gift.
"we're going to end your health insurance" ....to a 16 year old. Wtf. I dont care what she did, that is horrifying. These parents should not get her back and I hope dad is able to get social services involved to gain full custody. Anyone that thinks theowing their 16 year old out of the house because of something like this clearly have the wrong values and perspective on what parenting should be.
When my youngest sister was 17, she went to my mom to ask for condoms. My mom flipped out and refused, thinking that would stop her from having sex. It didn’t. My butt ran and bought them for her because there was no way I wanted her to experience a teen pregnancy or an STD. Refusing birth control doesn’t prevent sex. It does heighten the risk of pregnancy and whatnot. Good lord.
I can't help but think, if the 16 year old knows her mom's story, maybe she is trying to also be proactive. Maybe mom's story scared her and she doesn't want to get pregnant under any circumstances?
The only thing this step father is worried about is his reputation and potentially being publicly shamed by not having ownership of his step-daughter’s body. It’s absolutely gross.
@@ketobarbelle8051 Okay this whole idea about guys want to “own their daughters” is such nonsense. I mean I think this step dad is horrible but him wanting to own her? Are you retarded?
Dear 16 year old lady, if you read this, we are proud of you. You are amazing, responsible, you are trying to do the right thing. This is hard right now with these two, but you will grow from this. Keep being responsible and protecting yourself. Don't roll the dice on your future. We believe in you.
I’m glad someone wrote this because it is very important that she understands this. We are not perfect but the fact that we put in an effort to be as responsible as we can be is very admirable. She must feel so alone and I really home she knows that she is not. Hopefully her and her dad can have a strong bond.
I heard a lot of “I” I”, “I”, “my beliefs”, “my faith”. I believe 100% that states with the highest levels of “religiousness” have higher rates of teen pregnancy and other problems. Religiousness usually means less education, less freedom but more judgment and control. Like these parents that had sex before marriage, made all sorts of mistakes but found god and became holier than thou. They are now qualified to determine who is good or bad and who deserves love or compassion
Allowing your daughter to use birth control doesn't give her a license to be sexually active, but it keeps her safer if she does. Kicking her out teaches her that your love is conditional and comes with a price she might not always be able to pay. My heart beaks for your daughter, She must see that her worth is diminished in your eyes.
Right. Like, you're not ALLOWING it....just acknowledging what JESUS taught...that alllll humans are fallible and let's make sure not to mess up the trajectory or your life behind it.
Dad, it didn’t hurt that much. The girl is trying to do the right thing. You snd mom will e forever remembered as inflexible, and you have damaged the relationship, pethaps beyond repair. 😮😮
As soon as the stepdad said she's always had a room in the house, not that it was her home too, I was so angry for the daughter. I think the mom and stepdad need a reality check big time. I wouldn't want to live with them either.
@@bethlangley13 Did you notice that he was in control of the conversation and the mother just hemmed and hawed? It seemed to me that he is over controlling.
They both had unique contributions to the conversation. You're finding bigoted reasons to judge them. (There are better reasons to judge what they've done.)
@@NXTMusicianBassist i dont care if theyre merged like a horrifying chimera abominación. Thats HER daughter from HER womb that shes allowing her husband to abuse. Thats disghusting of any parent to allow a stranger to do that. Marriage doesnt make you a parent
So the mother admitted she had sex before marriage and I believe the stepfather admitted he and the mother had sex before marriage, but they condemn the daughter for protecting herself from getting pregnant at sixteen like mom did?
This is heart breaking. Coming from a daughter who can pin point the exact moment my relationship with my mother broke when I was 16 because of a similar yet different situation and her reaction to it. I’m 35 and our relationship is still broken. It’s not something you ever forget, forgive possibly but knowing that there are parameters for the one person who is supposed to love you to actually love you is a horrible feeling. I’m a firm believer in Christ and I KNOW that their reaction is not approved by Him.
@@Marymary-ik1bx There was NOTHING in there that spoke of what kind of person she is. Nothing. I'm not sure the dad and mom are worth much either. But being positive no matter what can be toxic too.
First, I am a Christian. "Ye who are without sin, cast the first stone." Do as we say, not as we do (or did). Their daughter is amazing for trusting her parents with her decisions, and they failed her. These are the same parents that would shame her and probably kick her out if she came home pregnant. They would not want her to abort (who really would), nor would they probably want to raise her child. Would they even help her with the child? The initially nearly silent mother spoke volumes, and I'm sure that they are forever ringing in her daughter's ears.
It’s been like that for a long time! I’m nearly 50 years old and I went to the free clinic and got on birth control when I was a teenager. This isn’t something new. You’ve been able to do this for a long time, because of people like this.
💯 We are Catholic but also realistic. I love how Dr John refers to understanding and forgiveness as his takeaway from the bible. It just boggles my mind when religion is used as a weapon to wield control. Just NO.
But legally, her daughter shouldn't be having sex at 16. We've made that choice as a society. Are you saying that you think we should lower age of consent?
Crazy irony is they don’t want her to have sexual baggage in her future relationships but this type of overreaction and trauma will definitely set the stage for her to have all types of sexual guilt or religious traumas .
@@annjames1837 yeah in my opinion I feel like this girl may have a difficult time connecting a loving God her parents want her to worship to the way they dumped her when she disobeyed. I’m not saying I would feel that way but I think lots of people do and it fuels their disinterest or lack of involvement in faith communities.
@@annjames1837 Religious trauma can cause sexual issues in a relationship, which is how you end up with a Christian newlywed couple (both virgins) and one or the other putting off sex for days, months, or years because they have a skewed belief about sex. For the partner who wants and has no baggage with sex (usually mostly men), the absence of sex ends up being an issue for them because they aren't getting it in marriage as they were "promised".
What a terrible mother! Got pregnant when she was 16, her father supported her, but when her daughter asked to be put on birth control, she kicks her out to the street! Terrible person, awful mother! Some people just don't deserve to be parents!
I noticed that the stepdad is doing most of the talking, I think he is driving most of this. I think they have damaged the relationship with the daughter in a way that will never recover.
I'm a retired OB/gyn. There are some things I haven't heard in this talk yet that are worth saying. Buying birth control pills or other methods does not mean that a child is having sex or that she is planning to do so. It can mean that she has met someone and wants to be safe IF it goes that way. There is rime for you to talk with her about why you believe that waiting is best, that there are failures of contraception, that some contraceptives do not protect against disease and that some of those diseases can have lifelong consequences, etc. Choosing t be on a contraceptive is a very responsible, grown up choice even though it is not the choice that I would want for my daughter at that age. It is a far more responsible choice than being pregnant at 16. I can fully understand that you might not be willing to let her use your insurance to pay for contraception--that if she is going to make this choice, she needs to fund it on her own. But there is no way I can understand you throwing her out of your house for making a decision to "be safe if....." You've had years to instill your values, and con continue to try to do so, but the day will come when she will make her own decisions. If you throw her out, you will ultimately get what you deserve--a daughter who will want nothing to do with you in the future.
@@Samantha-Andersonhe didn't exactly say that. He said that even though the parents are not giving permission, to a teen they will interpret the nonverbal action that way. But if they're on bc doesn't mean they're going to have s*x.
So, we're incredible bigots, we rather throw out and abandon our kid instead of supporting her very adult decision to better be safe than sorry. Daughter made the right choice.
Sounds like mom is choosing her new man over her daughter. I’ll bet she’s one of those women jealous of her daughter’s youth beauty and perceived potential. Rich coming from a man with a “used” woman.. he’s “just worried about her having the best marriage with her future husband.” Will he enjoy vicariously..? Creepy
....and it is a really bad idea for her to be having sex. The hard work of being a teenager is to learn discipline and self-control. Delayed gratification will pay out in adulthood. Since their brains are not fully developed, they still need an awful lot of guidance even though at this age they figure they don't need it.
@lyndi9719 sure, but isn't it better to explain to your kid why you don't want them to have sex AND make sure they know how to do so safely on the off chance they don't listen? Or do you prefer taking your chances and possibly have to deal with the consequences of a teenage pregnancy?
@@lyndi9719 I’m sure your disapproval and the disapproval of parents of teens everywhere will guarantee that teens never ever have s*x with other teenagers…
Her brain might not be fully developed, but she’s obviously cognitively capable of making an informed decision about her body and she is more than likely thinking about what the consequences of NOT choosing to be on birth control would mean for her future. I was in this same situation as a teenager. I grew up in a very controlling environment, where my parents would say things like, “You can talk to me about anything,” but then use that information against me later. When I made the decision at 18 years old to start taking birth control, I did not tell my parents, because, well, legally speaking, I was an adult and I didn’t have to, but when my parents found out, they were not happy.
Idk how the mom doesn't see the absolute hypocrisy of this whole situation. If the mom could go back in time and have birth control you know she would take it.
Or maybe, just maybe, if she could go back in time, she might’ve chosen not to have sex in the first place. Because people know the risks and potential consequences. And by engaging in the activity anyways, they inherently accept those risks and potential consequences This is exactly why I don’t feel bad for someone complaining about the struggle of having kids
The fact that the daughter felt safe enough to approach her mom about birth control says a lot. But unfortunately, during a time of vulnerability, the parents (probably the stepdad more than anything) nuked the relationship. I think there is a possibility for some reconciliation but it will never be the same.
Exactly. And just because she's on birth control doesn't mean that she is choosing to have sex either. Their decision is absurd! Better safe than sorry is right. Their daughter came and confided in her parents and they kicked her out. She'll never come to them ever again.
It’s INSANE that all of you people are thinking that “welp…kids are just gonna be kids”. 😂 NO! The kids do not run the show! They’re minors! They have ZERO SAY
@@davibooth4852he said that he didn’t want her to have baggage, such as a child, when she eventually marries. He’s indirectly talking about how his wife had baggage, her daughter, when they married.
Kicking a teenager out (a CHILD) over birth control is crazy work. This is the opposite of parenting. Parenting means you stick around for the hard parts and guide your child. That girl will never forget this and won’t forgive them for a very long time. And it might even cause rebellion and for her to go down a bad path. Hoping her dad & stepmom can be there for her and that these two can change their views & mend the relationship. Poor girl.
No, the daughter is choosing her own bodily autonomy over her parents' religious beliefs. She learned from her mother's mistakes, and has shown more self awareness from the third party perspective of people trying to paint her in the worst light, than religious wackadoos are even capable of when given carte blanche airtime to try and defend their actions in the name of "God".@@jacobfernandez6055
I was 17 when I was pregnant. I was afraid to tell my mom because I knew I would hear "I told you so." But my dad just said we will figure things out as we go. It was such a relief after I told him. I felt I had someone on my side that would help me and guide me in the right direction. I'm now almost 70 years old and I will never forget what my dad taught me. Don't judge others and figure out a way to solve a problem. That's how I raised all three of my children. Thank you for listening.
And now because you had a sympathetic, loving support beam, you seem to be a wise woman who spreads her learned knowledge to others. Children need love, not anger.
You are on your own because you acted like a normal teen except that you wanted to be responsible. Abstinence is not as strong as teenage hormones. Praying won’t stop the urges to have sex.
I read this and honestly thought my own mother may have written this. I’m so sorry your mother was like that, just as my grandmother was, but I’m thankful you both had a dad who was kind and understanding.
Here early to say that removing the option of birth control is effectively increasing the risk your daughter will get pregnant. She’s being responsible… you are not.
Not only that. The mother, who had no birth control at 16 got pregnant and ended up as a single teenage mother. The daughter is doing the right thing, but the witch of a mother sided with a man instead of supporting her offspring.
I would add that teenage pregnancy is more dangerous than adult pregnancies, with more risks of eclampsia, endometriosis and sepsis for the mother, and more risk of being underweight/being born preterm, or having severe neonatal condition for the baby. Also abtinence only policies are a huge failure. Not only teenagers still have sex, but they also are more at risk to have STDs, and pregnancies at a young age...
She is not being responsible. This is the better of 2 choices because overall everything has already failed. They already failed by having sex early when they were young, getting divorced, not educating their kids early on about this, etc. because they have already failed, sadly birth control might be the better of 2 options. But by NO means is she being responsible haha
😢 you made me so emotional! You are so right and honest about it. Children who are rejected by their loved ones are often so fragile and vulnerable. They will seek connection elsewhere. Yes, this issue is a tough one...
This video has me in tears. I am a 71 year old woman. When I was 16 I went to the Dr to get birth control because I thought I was in love and was following my friends who were a little bit older than me. The Dr. called my Mother to get permission (they did that in the 60', 70's.) She lost her mind. Needless to say I did indeed get pregnant at 17, because it wont happen to me attitude. It sure did. I got kicked out of the house and my life went from bad to worse for many years. I was alone, no one to talk to. Felt so unloved. I got pregnant and had another child 18 months apart from my first pregnancy. I ended up in a hospital for 3 months having Electric Shock Therapy because the depression was so severe. My parents oddly enough came to the rescue and took in my babies and helped raise them. Please dont do this to your daughter. I think she is trying to be responsible and you are forcing her to go behind your back. She was honest with you, and trusted you. You let her down big time.
May God bless you. But here’s the thing: with or without birth control pregnancy is always a risk, not having sex at all is the smartest decision, but the daughter would rather risk pregnancy w/ birth control to only lower the risk to an extent
@@kathyalex778. I’m 37 years old and I’ve been active since high school. I’ve NEVER needed an abortion, because I had supportive, educated parents, who encouraged me to speak to doctors, and learn the most bulletproof ways to avoid pregnancy. It works. There’s almost no reason to have an accidental pregnancy in this day and age.
@@kathyalex778yes but it is much less of a risk with than without. Of course celibacy is the one way to make sure no pregnancies happen. There’s also other health benefits to being on the pill and risks as well sure but you can say that about anything. I personally got put on the pill at 15 because my periods were so irregular and heavy when they did come, and I had no intention or thoughts about having sex.
@@imveryhungry112 In the age of date rape drugs, it's crazy not to have your teen daughters on birth control. That doesn't mean you can't teach good judgment around sex.
@@imveryhungry112 Dude, you don't have control over your child 24/7. And teenagers are sneaky devils. I have dozens of stories of the dumb shenanigans my brother got into, and my parents didn't have a clue, even though they entirely believed they knew everything he was doing. Don't be naive.
@@imveryhungry112 And teens are off to college and living their own lives at 18. It's dangerous and dumb for any woman who doesn't want kids at that time not to be on birth control.
@@imveryhungry112”Normal” people? Or people that don’t want a teenage pregnancy. The reason they have “baggage” is because they were shamed by a useless religion.
@@Joe-iq1bu you have to have it for your child and for yourself only . Not for anyone else. It’s terrible not to have that . When I said love that includes compassion , kindness and discipline. If you have conditional love for a child that’s a recipe for a personality disorder. At best codependency. Root of cluster b personality disorders is conditional love from parents .
Message from stepfather to stepdaughter: “Controlling you is a vital part of MY faith. I don’t care about my wife possibly becoming a 32-year-old grandma; it’s about my perception of myself, and I need to keep you from purchasing birth control at all costs instead of ongoing conversations about wise decision-making.”
This is exactly what NOT to do to your 16 year old daughter. This call hit home for me, and it makes me so angry. The abandonment this young girl will carry on in to adulthood is just the beginning of her feelings of loneliness and self doubt. Unless someone takes her under their wings and shows her she’s worthy of love, self worth and respect. Fortunately for me, I found this at 16, in the arms of a loving family who had known me since I was 5 years old. They picked up my broken heart and broken pieces of my soul. To this day 50+ years later, I still love these people. They are family to me.
I strongly believe that that kind of love is the real way to embody the will of God. Thank God yoi found such a loving family ❤❤❤❤ My heart is broken for the girl in this story.
Dreadful, dreadful, controlling man. This poor 16 year old kid, trying to be responsible and she’s got this awful, overbearing nut-job step-father calling the shots. If the daughter is reading this please just live with your biological father and know that this step-father is bonkers. Maybe the mother might actually develop the ability to think for herself at some point.
How controlling of you to think your ideology is correct. Sad. You disagreed with the parents because you disagreed with their viewpoints. Kicking the child out is another issue. But why are you so controlling?
I wonder how this woman’s father would’ve reacted to hearing that she’d kicked her daughter out for trying to be responsible and prevent what happened to them 16 years ago.
“She’s 16, her brain isn’t fully developed” but her brain seems to be developed enough to know that she wants to protect herself from getting pregnant if the very normal occurrence of a teenager having sex with another teenager happens. It’s her body. These people are very strange.
I personally think that she is very responsible by wanting to protect herself against something she knows she is not ready for ! Your personal beliefs as her stepfather have zero barring on her choice or this situation! You are first and foremost her stepfather and need to stay out of this very personal issue! You are the kind of person that will have a stepdaughter pregnant at 17 and then say “oh well this was your choice now deal with it”! Some people just shouldn’t be parents!
a call from her would have been entirely different. it would have been about how she got pregnant at 16, was left by the father of the child, and then was taken in by this religious man who was making her turn her back on her 16 year old daughter.
So mom, who had a baby at 16, doesn’t want to help her daughter prevent the same fate because of her new husband’s self-righteous beliefs? Hope they like nursing homes.
@@margaretmorrison7301Crazy that you’re a woman saying this lol. Don’t y’all take birth control just to reduce period cramps? That ain’t what happened here but can you not think of any way that it would harmful not to provide that and then kick them out?
@user-qp2qe5gf9b agree! I think he handled it well but I would have been a little more blunt on the hypocrisy. I wish he had asked, "how woukd you have felt if your dad kicked you out when you got pregnant?"
My mother told me NO SEX and refused to let me even be alone with a boy till i turned 18, and i ended up getting pregnant the same month i turned 18... Please teach your children about contraceptives and being safe, I promise you they will find a way to sneak around if they want too!
@@KathysellsCaliforniainstilling fear instead of educating a kid on sex is literally how op got pregnant, how is that a success in your eyes I dont understand
@@KathysellsCalifornia Yeah no. Ever wonder why the states that have the highest rates of teen pregnancy and STDs are conservative? Because they only do abstinence only "sex education". They dont educate their children, all they tell them is "You will burn in hell if you have sex". Thats not "teaching" them anything.
Do these mothers have a spine? This is your child that you’re letting someone else dictate the relationship you have with her. Kicking your child out due to birth control is INSANE.
Also how much do they believe in biblical beliefs? Both being divorced. Seems to me this guy only believes in religion when it's convenient for him. When it's someone else he gets to punish. But he doesn't hold himself to those biblical standards.
My neighbor’ daughter got pregnant at 16. Her parents are strong Christians. They were not happy. They could have kicked them out. They chose Grace and Love. They supported the couple getting married. They let them live with them so they could finish high school. They brought them to church every Sunday proudly. This young couple felt loved and knew who they could go to for support and help. They have now been happily married 20 yrs with 5 children.
There's a difference between telling your parents your already pregnant vs telling them you want go on birth control thus becoming subject to acidental pregnancy.
They're loving parents and it's great it worked out for that young couple. That is not the majority of case and the parents probably felt like they failed their daughter when she told them. Getting pregnant at 16 is bad, regardless if it all worked out 20 years later.
So instead of teaching responsible sx and allowing abortion as an option when their CHILD fell pregnant they enrolled her in an underage marriage in which she is now stuck by having four more children. And this is seen by people as something in any way, shape or form as something positive?
Who says she wants anything to do with them anymore. I personally would never speak to them again, they would never know their grandchild, I would not be at their funeral.....but that's just me. I go particularly hard.
You nailed it right on the head ! Notice how he started the Conversation but got real quiet when it wasn't aligning with his beliefs Don't get me wrong.I don't think kids should be having sex at that kind of age.But you should never turn your back on your kids Religion or not it's your job to guide them through life And unconditionally Supportive . Like Dr John says as long as there not being a danger to them self and the family what else is there
Exactly, he overstepped. Notice how at first he was the main and first voice. But he slowly stopped yapping whenever it became clear that DR disagreed. THEN, the mom stepped up and offered her voice and info.
It’s so sad. She’s a weak woman that has allowed her husband to be the one in control and she chose her husband over her daughter. Her daughter will remember that for ever.
@@BusArch42I guarantee he is the type that would rather kill his step daughter than for her to have pre-marital sex. He would for sure be casting the first stone.
@Femtoisbackandbetter interesting take. My husband apologized for not being there for me at the worst point in my life. Maybe that’s why we have been together for 35 years. I forgave him
Dr. John's face as he was listening to the stepdad says what we're all thinking. I have a 17 YO daughter and I'm a Christian, I can't fathom kicking her out over birth control. These 'parents' are the reason we hear news stories about kids having babies and leaving them in dumpsters. She won't be going back to her mom's. I know I wouldn't.
sometimes women NEED birthcontrol, im a 20 yr old and my parents do not care if im on birth control. i know im an adult, but i get super sick around my period and i take it to stop throwing up.
Step dad is probably an emotionally abusive narcissist and has manipulated this entire tragedy. She will hopefully find her strength and get the hell out, and reclaim her daughter.
Can you imagine your child confiding in you and trusting you with such a vulnerable subject, and instead of feeling grateful that your child trusts you, you kick them out of your house. Your kid will never trust you again.
@@angelanordmeyer4730 I’m glad she has learned young *exactly* how poisonous religion is- hopefully the chain is permanently broken because religion HATES women. These parents have done her a huge favour in helping her see the poison of religion.
@@jacobfernandez6055 Call csp, sue for full custody and child support.. The think is you cannot treat minor as an adult. Who is even step parent to enforce such.
Dr. John didn’t hold this step dad accountable to his extreme values. He clearly has influence over this mom. She’s trying to tell him without telling him.
I think he was holding 90% of what he thought back. I think what he really would have like to do is grab this guy and shake some sense into the asshole.
The fact that the STEP DAD lead this conversation is absolutely insane.
My thoughts exactly.
I noticed that immediately, and it bothers me
Not really... there's nothing wrong with a stepdad being more involved if the biological father is a PoS. The issue is in this case the stepdad is the PoS. But if he actually cared about this girl at all there wouldn't be a problem with him trying to force his values on her. The issue is he's trying to force his values on someone and he doesn't give a damn about them, which is very clear from the call.
The other issue is he clearly is happy about her being gone and is only calling because the mother isn't and he's pretending to care.
@@gerfe2 that’s honestly a really fair point of view, I hadn’t really considered anything along those lines
This more refers to the actual MOTHER should lead the conversation about her daughter @gerfe2
"I had her at 16"
and she doesn't wanna be like you, so she's protecting herself. Wtf is the problem with this mom?
Right! We need to teach children to be safe! Physically and emotionally. Coming to me about birth control is a welcomed sign that they are listening to me.
@@christinefaulk6531 Exactly. If I had children, I wouldn't them to be intimate so young, but if they were I'd rather them prevent getting pregnant, and tell me, ask me about birth control and not being a teen mom.
What shitty parents.
Really…what morons
They hadn't even thought about these beliefs that are supposedly so strong. They couldn't answer how it contradicts loving your child
As someone who was kicked out at 15 (not for the same reason they did) but it messed me up
I already knew i wasn't loved but i had nowhere to go. And u ended up in a seriously abusive relationship amongst other awful experiences and addiction. Just wanting SOMEONE to love me. Even though i didn't raise that's what i was doing at the time
These parents are so awful. They're clueless and they went into this thinking they had done the right thing just wanting confirmation and a pat on the back. So glad John called them on their BS.
“SHE’S ALWAYS HAD A ROOM HERE”
That statement says it all; she has a room not a home.
Exactly… thats how it was with my own family too.
New religion, new rules. I'm sure her Mom will not be with you that long.
Wow :(
That stood out to me. I made the same comment. Sounds like Harry Potter.
I early on thought the same thing. .. a room, but not a home. The mom was instrumental in not doing for her daughter what her DAD did for her at the exact same age. How disgusting! The 16 yo daughter came from a long line of unwed parents for them to hold their daughter to a higher standard than ANYONE in the fam. I bet stepDad was married when he began the relationship with the child's mom. They are hypocrites!
The mother experienced ALMOST THE EXACT SAME SITUATION and was happy that someone supported her in time of need, and decided not to do that exact thing for her daughter
Chilling, isn’t it?
That’s the point I cannot get over. Just absolutely f****** incredible. Shame on that mother
Ain't no love like Christian...
@@vlad23i
_"Honey, taking birth control and exploring your sexual choices is dangerous. And that's why we're kicking you out. Have fun doing who-knows-what or who-knows-whom to get a roof over your head from now on. Yeah, we're awesome parents."_ 😎
@@vlad23i… dude…
I think a 16 year old asking about birth control is a much more responsible decision than what this guy decided.
Or what her teenage mom decided when she got pregnant. Those parents are worse decision makers than their teenage daughter. She's more mature than both of them are and were at her age.
The kid trusted her parents enough to ask them about birth control and they totally abused her trust. I hope she turns her back on them and stays with her father. Sounds like the mother is allowing her husband to drive the conversation and decisions.
He is talking abt HIS values, not hers
Omg yes. What's up with throwing your kids out on the street, I mean ?!
@@randomchain8623 a stepdad and religion.
He is a stepdad. He is overstepping his place not only that, but this girl was honest enough to tell them the truth, and this is how they treat her.
We do not know the family dynamics & how long they have been together. I say this as a child of divorced parents that both parents remarried. My mom remarried when I was 3 and my dad when I was 18.
My stepfather (calling him that here to prevent confusion) raised me as his daughter and nothing less. My father was an active parent & co parented with my mom & stepfather. My stepfather raised me and in that disciplined me when it was needed. Neither my mom or dad ever stated he overstepped his place. My stepfather was never a stepfather to me. He is my dad and now as an adult with kids. My children do not look at my “stepfather” as anything other than grandpa. They were just blessed to have 2 grandpa’s on my side of the family to love them.
Remember there are step parents that have taken the role as parent for one reason or another.
I don’t agree with these parents & their actions with their 16yr old. That is 100% not acceptable
I don’t think the stepdad over set. It seems like they made the decision as a couple.
@@star2like261 how so she isn’t his child that’s Decision for both parents both parents are still in her life she was not abandoned by them
@@Elkjin23 couple, as in the stepdad the girls Mum. They both made the decision for their home not him by himself. The mother was on the call, that’s what I meant.
@@star2like261 From the way, it sounds it’s seems like only the stepdad made the decision. The mom just went with it but once again, that was a decision for the biological father in the biological mother and that’s why, she went to her biological father’s house, and she’ll probably never talk to her mother again because of somebody who’s not even her parent, and that decision would have nothing to do with them kicking her out, but the reason they kicked her out it was not a very logical thing to do as an adult
Her daughter trusted her enough to ask for help being safe. That trust is now broken forever.
Perhaps not forever if the parents repent.
@@kenyonbissett3512 I think it would take much more than repentance to fix what these parents messed up. Repentance without accompanying action falls a little flat for me.
@@laulutar true repentance includes actions to mitigate harm and damage caused by their actions.
@@kenyonbissett3512 I agree, but too often it just involves lip service and zero action to mitigate the damage done.
@@laulutar they sounded as though they were to rigid to make amends and reopen a relationship with her, to tied up in being righteous.
I love that Dr. John asks, "How do you reconcile these conflicting religious messages" and you can tell that the parents haven't even considered that they are also supposed to have grace and forgiveness and love for their child.
I can't help but feel so disappointed in these parents. I could never kick out my child, that's like the ultimate statement of "You are not welcome or wanted here".
Yeah but don't you know really fundamental religious people like this guy. They pick and choose what part of the Bible. They believe. They're both divorced. God never talked about birth control. Jesus never talked about birth control. But you know what Jesus does. Spend a lot of time in the Bible talking about divorce. So it's just hypocrisy. Threw and through. Not all religious people because most of them are not like this man. I'm just talking about people like him.
100%. Jesus was all about forgiveness, love, and acceptance. As Christians, these parents should be emulating that. Instead, they seem to want it to be their way or the highway. How people think that they can just tell a teenager to do something and that means they're going to do it is beyond me. Especially when the facts don't support it.
As a committed Christian, I can’t stand when parents/adults make horrible parenting decisions in the name of Christ.
It makes me livid
There you go! This is it... How come they put having sex before marriage over loving their daughter? If love is not your priority as a Christian, you are doing something wrong. That's how I see it .
Same!
Thank you! These are the type of people that turn people away from Christianity
💯Explain to her what character traits to look for when choosing a man to be romantic with. They completely missed an opportunity to strengthen their familial relationship and be honest with each other. IMO once a person learns green flags and red flags… they tend to abstain and wait for the right person.
I would be GRATEFUL to have my daughter come to me like this. They have forever lost her trust.
And they've taught her that love is conditional
100%
They’ve taught their daughter that she can’t make her own choice about her beliefs. God gives us Free Will, but her parents didn’t extend that to their daughter. They taught her that their love is conditional. They taught her that rules are more important to them than her.
exactly. i hope i have a child that knows enough to try to prect herself and enlist my help in doing so and trusting me to protect her too.
I was thinking they did something right for her to be willing to come to them first. They handled it very wrong. I hope they fix it. Especially her mother. This could have made her decide to never come to her again with anything.
This girl will always remember her mom choosing this man and religion over her.
@@Hopdog230 she doesn’t sound like she was a decent mom to begin with. I’m sure this is not the first time she threw away her daughter for a man.
Yep!
@@sellmav ofc she isn't she was 16 when she had a baby herself.
This.
The mom and step dad are choosing the what the Bible says. They are just going about it all wrong.
Choosing your faith over your child is reprehensible behaviour.
That girl is smart. If you're reading this, know you're going to be ok. I hope your father is looking after you better than these two terrible people.
They didn't choose the faith, the husband choose his ego, and the wife choose the husband, but the husband using faith the blinding the wife. It's done In the name of ego, but using faith
@@ElizabethHome153not so. When the mom clearly stated that it was her that gor triggered because of her own pregnancy at 16. It sounded to me as though the step-dad really cares about the daughter. Either way, it was a decision made by the 2. And would if be different if it was drinking in the house with the boyfriend? No, most would blow up over that. But sex?? Like that isn't a big deal. Smh
@abbasgirl8153 I don't get this. Drinking would obviously be less of a problem, and having a casual first beer was a positive experience with my father. Obviously, he wouldn't condone binge drinking and parties but he always emphasized safety when he could. He would prefer to see a 100 dollar Uber ride compared to his kids possibly being in danger. Do you understand how crazy it is to kick their daughter out of this? They literally ensured their daughter future trauma for the sake of their egos. You and the parents want to pretend that they care when they kicked their daughter out to do god knows what. Her parents are more concerned about maintaining her chastity and value for her future Christian husband than her physical safety.
Cry 304
I mean the Bible literally tells you to choose your faith over your child. Abraham is held up as an example for being willing to KILL his child on God’s command. You can’t have morality tales like that and then scratch your head when your religion leads to child abuse.
This is the most disturbing call I have ever heard. I was a 17 year old thrown out of my mother's house because of her husband. This is the most cruel thing to happen. I still feel these horrible emotions and I am now 59 years old. Why is this man speaking and not her mother?
He is trying to convince the host and everyone else to believe his intentions. He wants to be told he is right. He's NOT, but that's his goal.
Control, he wants to control all women, including his wife and his step daughter!
I'm sorry you went through that.
Sounds like he,wanted an excuse to have her out of the house. He dies not want the responsibility of another man's child unless he can benefit. These same types have no problem having sex with a minor. What a control freak snd misogynist.@leeannrobinson2136
@@leeannrobinson2136 Even at the end he's still equivocating. And the tips he's been given - journaling, monthly date, etc. - they are all things he could very easily turn into weapons of control. I don't get the impression he has changed his stance at all.
Parents like this will wonder why their kid no longer talks to them.
@@tadekw9108 they don't care they give them to God
True. My mother blocked my access to birth control. I haven't spoken to her in years. My grown son chooses not to have a relationship with her either. She has met her only other grandchild a handful of times. That's the consequence of her actions. It wasn't just the birth control I can assure you.
@GrantTravels23 Yeah, they called cause they dont care
Exactly. The daughter wanted to and did do the right thing. The mom literally abandoned her daughter because of this. Completely ridiculous. The step- dad basically taking charge of the conversation over the mom. Ridiculous. The mom will regret this as years go by and her daughter doesn't open up to her or even want a relationship.
@dani4157 they only care to do what God says. You are the devil if you don't do everything that God says. Their God says sex before marriage is a sin, lust is a sin, therefore a tool that helps protect you from bringing a life into this world so that you can sin is a sin. The only solution to this problem in their eyes is either no sex before marriage or u will not live in God's house
Delony basically told them: "you are profoundly abusing your daughter". Kudos to him for that.
I loved his response. Basically told them, you screwed up and here is why.
As soon as I saw his face when he said “so yes we essentially kicked her out” I sighed with relief. I am SO glad he called them out on the BS. I’m so glad he defended her.
I think his response was actually a bit vague - I heard him say "supervise her on dates", journal together and "no 16yo should be on BC" but don't kick her out. So she lives there but can't get BC?
@@DA-te5beyou could see him pivot in his head towards his evangelical audience at that moment.
And advising step-dad to take her on dates? No.
That's for dad.
When I was 16 I was put on the pill with my mothers consent behind my step-fathers back because my periods were awfully painful, both catholics. One day I was rushing and forgot to put it away and he found it, I walked in the door and he smacked me straight in the face, she stood there pretending she didn’t know. I never forgave her. I’m 53 now and have never forgotten that, I’ve made it my business to let my own kids know they can come to me with anything.
My mother has told stories all my life about secrets she and her father kept from her mother.
We were never close, my mother and me, but those stories made an impact. There's a lot I do to make sure my kids know they can bring anything to me--including dropping a subject when we're at the end of their comfort in sharing.
WOW I am so freaking sorry. Disgusting that your mother stood by and did not protect you. I'm also on birth control because my periods are awful. I would be LIVID if my parents punished me for receiving medical care that I needed. These religious nuts are delusional.
Getting pregnant at 16 then denying your 16 year old daughter birth control is absolutely wicked and hypocritical. These parents are headed straight for a nursing home after a long life of having an ice cold, half hearted relationship with their daughter and it’s their own fault.
My mother asked me to tell her when I felt like I might need birth control. I told her at 16 or 17. She mistreated me and called me a wh*re even though I was a virgin. Now I’m 30 and she begs for me to tell her about my life. She created a relationship where I have no desire to open up or be close. I forgive her, I just don’t like or respect her as a person.
This is so sad((
My parents never talked to me about sex and it was fine. I mean about me actually doing it and when. All is fine. I never used birth control, btw. I mean the pills, just barrier. I have 3 daughters, almost, 8 months pregnant with 3rd. All happened when I wanted. My secret? Just one man, never sleeping around. It's not rocket science, your cycle+condoms.
I lost my virginity when 4 yrs old. My mom was so traumatized she never talked about healthy sex etc. Nothing. She's too religious as well. Judgemental always right narrow minded nuts. I don't sharemy life with her. I replaced her with my best friend I call my adopted mom. She likes me just as I am unlike bio mom whom I'm never good enough for
Oof your last sentence hit so hard with me.
I agree w/your assessment and feel for you. You are absolutely right to draw your boundaries w/your mother and you are smart to be establishing them NOW when you are so young.
@morena162
I am appalled at these no good for nothing socalled christians who seem to forget the whole love thy brother , yet kick out their daughter for being responsible. Birthcontroll is taken for many reasons ,one of them just finding a way to make her periods easier.Not everything has to do with s.*.x, but even if, that's her body, her choice!! MOST IMPORTANT, BIRHTCONTROL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BIBLE .How is this even an issue in todays society?? I am well aware of the way Americas rightwing is currently stripping away womens rights state by state in the name of Jesus.Forcing their religion on everyone. It is time we take them back. Remember this when you vote in November.
This girl felt safe enough to come to her parents and ask them to help her in making a responsible choice, and they responded by kicking her out....what? This is how teenagers end up pregnant.
and now she is going to go live with her dad and because her mom used God and the church as her excuse to do what she did she's done with God and the church congratulations.
@@punk91 my thoughts exactly. She went to them. I guess they want her to sneak around...mission accomplished 🤷.
@@punk91 or maybe teenagers become pregnant because they are sexual active while still in highschool 🤣🤦♂️
Just an irresponsible decision all the way around
That part:(
Also him saying “ she always had a room here? “A room. WTF!
Thank goodness she has a dad to care for her because these jerks were threatening to take away housing, insurance, and her vehicle. Her mom chose this man over her daughter. There’s almost no way to recover from this.
And then say you need to firgure out how to get your own insurance likes that's even possible for her not being an adult yet
I mean a vehicle truly is not that important, but housing and insurance definitely. That has got to be considered abuse. I wonder how they would have gone about handling this issue if there wasn't another family to dump the child on to.
@@koori9739well it depends, if that vehicle is the only mode of transport to get from and to school
@Nono-ut8kz that's literally not a thing 🙄 If all teens had to have tbeir own car to get school, millions of kids would be truant every day. Privileged much? Lol
@barefooterin2817 It depends on where you live and what school you go to.
Some places don't have public transportation, and even if there are school buses, they don't allow for any extra curicular activities (sports, choir, student government, etc.) or after-school jobs.
She’s a RESPONSIBLE young lady.
No, not having sex is responsible. Getting on birth control so you can have sex without getting pregnant is not responsible.
I don't agree with the parents, but that doesnt mean a minor doing adult things who can't even support themselves is responsible.
@ I would rather that my kid get on birth control than have a baby as a teenager. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with birth control.
@@Zenivorethere’s multiple reasons to get on birth control. Only one is to have sex.
Step dad is punishing his step daughter for his wife's impurity, and mom is hating herself and punishing herself in the body of her daughter. Hope the kid goes and stays with her dad and stays away from these monsters.
Nailed it.
Drawn conclusions with no evidence
@@dani4157the step father is kinda obviously annoyed that he didnt get to the mother as her first. He was all about the step daughter saving herself so that she could have a "fulfilling marriage" as if being a virgin on your wedding night somehow magically will guarantee that. (It doesnt there are so many factors that go into if you are happy in your marriage or not that its crazy to think that something like virginity will be a magic bullet for it all)
this. this. this. I notice that step parents will sometimes become even stricter parents because the child is a sign of who their partner was with before… nailed it.
They're not reading the Bible very well.
God is merciful and forgives.
God created our bodies and gave us sexual desires and orgasms as a gift.
The book of Song of Soloman is about sex.
God demands that you care for your children and treat them with respect.
I could go on and on. They're hypocrites. The Bible says God hates hypocrites.
There.
Wow for a TEEN MOM to kick her daughter out for trying to avoid teen pregnancy is INSANELY HYPOCRITICAL. The step dad said “WE believe sex should wait until marriage” but they admit they didn’t do that themselves.. ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
The mom was a teen mom and was not kicked out of her parent’s house. Absolute hippocrites
They preach abstinence but they didn’t practice it. Telling teens to be abstinent is like telling them to remain children, impossible
@@TheVeggiekatyes. The stepdad is a judgmental hypocrite. He probably just doesn’t want to keep paying for everything. And the mom sucks because she is prioritizing him over her child.
Terrible people for sure.
I bet step-dad can't stand bio-dad, and doesn't really like the daughter. Finding a way to use God as an excuse to kick her out was like hitting the lottery. Once she's gone, he only has 'his' family there and his life will be perfect. Mom is probably feeling guilty but can't be a 'Godly' wife and disagree with her husband. I kept waiting to hear 'How would you have held if, instead of loving you and figuring it out, your dad had kicked you out at 16?'
I watched this the other day, on the full podcast and something that stood out to me today is that stepdad said, "she's always had a room here". The daughter isn't a boarder or a roommate or a guest. She is the mother's minor daughter. Housing isn't negotiable, just as food, clothing, other medication, etc., wouldn't be. These are things you do for your kids because you have children.
I noticed this exact thing as well. Very odd choice of wording, as if they should be rewarded for doing the bare minimum as a parent by housing her 😂.
Yeah
She’s always had a room here…
No.
This is and will always be her home.
He was very concerning for many reasons
I hated that he said that. “…a room here” does not equal the feeling of home, which she deserves.
So she lives between the two parents homes. Obviously she has room in both places. It’s how he says it that’s creepy and meanwhile the mother is listening but quiet
thank god that little girl has her dad and stepmom. i’m glad she has a safe haven from the abusive behaviors at her mother’s residence. the hypocrisy of the mother is confounding (“i got pregnant at 16 so i’m going to deny my child birth control so she’s more likely to end up the same way!”) and that stepfather is wildly overstepping. of course he’s her parent in his own way, but he should not be leading this conversation. her *biological* mother should be handling it as he supports her. ridiculous.
So far she's a more responsible 16 year old than her mother was. That's for sure.
No, being responsible is not getting on bc at all because their daughter knows her true worth does not lie in a man
😂 right!
@@natalieeubank4533 That is a ridiculous thing to say. So when you drive your car you don't put your seatbelt on because of your high self esteem? People do things all the time, and protecting yourself is taking responsibility.
@@natalieeubank4533 hypocrite
@@natalieeubank4533having sex with a man you love has nothing to do with your self worth. Sex is NORMAL and it’s a part of life. It CREATES life yet religious people demonize it as if it’s this horrible thing unless you’re married. It was a way for men to have further control over women.
She trusted you to come to you with a very grownup concern and you threw her out. WTF is wrong with you? This is how teenagers end up pregnant. Good job.
He's calling, complaining, laying this out methodically. He sounds like a control freak
@@Tokiohotel192 He most certainly is a control freak, and I'll be willing to bet the whole idea of throwing the daughter out was *his* doing and the girl's mother had no say it in because she is afraid to go against him. He's trying to use religion as a shield to hide the fact that he is a big PoS.
@AllynHin that's why he's calling a month and a half later....you can here mom in the background wanting Dr John to straighten him out.
@@YoYo_Ma Yeah, he really thought Dr. John was going to side with him. He had his wife on the line so she could hear Dr' John say he was right. He's got egg on his face now.
@@YoYo_Maactually I think the mom agrees. She did not seem emotional enough to have lost her daughter…and when John gave his opinion she said “that’s certainly something to consider” consider my ***…she has no intention of asking her daughter back home.
The daughter WENT to them willingly for help and advice and they threw her out for her choices. Shame on these parents.
True. What gets me though is that the mother says when she got pregnant at 16, her father supported and comforted her.
Parents make choices... they are calling because they are mixed
It's obvious that they were conflicted and that's why he called. They are worried that if they take her to get the pill then they are telling her it's okay to have premarital sex.
It absolutely galls me to my core that this girl's mother admitted that she solely depended on her single-parent dad to comfort and support her when she succumbed to her natural impulses and need for connection and had sex with a boy, yet she thinks it's appropriate and fine to inflict a scorched-earth approach on her own child!?!?
this really get's me. I am so angry for this girl and I don't know her. But so angry and sad for her. I hope she is ok.
Things that the daughter learned:
*love is conditional
*if I want to hold onto this person's love I better do what they want.
*I deserve the consequences of not giving him what he wants.
So in 15 years, when she shows up to Thanksgiving dinner with a black eye and a fat lip after running into a door. Know that you were the ones who showed her that it was her fault.
SAY IT LOUDER 👏👏
So much THIS!! This needs to be taught at high schools all over the world to try and undo what some parents teach!
This isn’t his daughter. What in the world is he talking about. This is a guy who has never experienced long term celibacy. He slept around, got married, THEN discovered “sexual morals”, which he wants to enforce on everyone else. I think this girl needs to be with her father. He is a way better parent. He isn’t a hypocrite. I guarantee if he wasn’t married, he would not be celibate for a decade.
This! Neither of those "parents" where celibate in their teens, yet cast away their daughter for something they couldn't even do!
Y'all make no sense. So because the parents acknowledge they made mistakes at her age they are obligated to let their daughter make those same mistakes?!? Bunch of clowns.
@@SnifferSock the daughter is literally doing the responsible thing by practicing safe sex. Scaring children into celibacy has never worked. It never worked with us, our parents, or our grandparents. Teen pregnancy has been declining over the years. Would they rather her have an abortion? Or get pregnant as a teenager? 🤨
@@SnifferSockthat’s not at ALL what these commentators are saying. Get a clue please.
@@SnifferSockain’t going to stop the kid from fucking. Kid is trying to be responsible
She kicked her daughter out knowing how it felt to not have a mom. Are people clueless ? Really 🤦
She is not clueless , she is cruel, wants her daughter to suffer like she suffered
@@monikapp3981 yes ! And I think she's bowing down to whatever her husband says because she doesn't want to be on her own etc
Wow, good point!!! 🥺
I think we take for granted that her growing up w/o a mom is what makes it easy for her to not be a good one. You don't know what you don't know, sometimes. It sounds like she's a 32 year old, with a 16 year old daughter. She's very young for this situation, and obviously didn't get the tools she needed to be a good parent. She got religion.
@@robynpayne9448 I can see how that can be part of it. Or a possibility. People handle things differently. We all get shaped differently, even if we go through same situations . I just know it's wrong on the mom's part , and it's sad and I hope she opens her eyes or someone points out the obvious
I have huge red flags from the stepdad in this scenario. He sounds so self-righteous and controlling. This is a recipe for disaster.
Somehow, me too. The way he talked from the beginning, mentioning multiple times his religious values, made me feel he wanted her to save her virg. for him in the future.
@@carlavv5302Yep. He wants her v card for himself.
I feel like he sees women who have sex outside of marriage as whores. His sex life with his wife isn't healthy because they are both full of guilt. God forgives. God created us to experience pleasure during sex, it's a gift.
@@carlavv5302 I totally got that creepy feeling. I'm like, why is he so obsessed with his step daughter's vagina?
A typical bible thumper. mY vALuEs oR NoTHiNg !🤡
"we're going to end your health insurance" ....to a 16 year old. Wtf. I dont care what she did, that is horrifying. These parents should not get her back and I hope dad is able to get social services involved to gain full custody. Anyone that thinks theowing their 16 year old out of the house because of something like this clearly have the wrong values and perspective on what parenting should be.
When my youngest sister was 17, she went to my mom to ask for condoms. My mom flipped out and refused, thinking that would stop her from having sex. It didn’t. My butt ran and bought them for her because there was no way I wanted her to experience a teen pregnancy or an STD. Refusing birth control doesn’t prevent sex. It does heighten the risk of pregnancy and whatnot. Good lord.
Amazing sister. ❤
Well done big sis !
Kudos Sis!
Exactly!! Stone age thinking
I can't help but think, if the 16 year old knows her mom's story, maybe she is trying to also be proactive. Maybe mom's story scared her and she doesn't want to get pregnant under any circumstances?
The only thing this step father is worried about is his reputation and potentially being publicly shamed by not having ownership of his step-daughter’s body. It’s absolutely gross.
Yep and yep AND IF he had been being an amazing dad like he claimed this girl won't give the young man the time of day without her panties on
It is exactly that. To the point where it’s suspicious. Disgusting.
I am very interested in knowing what was said that resulted in your viewpoint of the step father.
@@ketobarbelle8051 Okay this whole idea about guys want to “own their daughters” is such nonsense. I mean I think this step dad is horrible but him wanting to own her? Are you retarded?
Exactly
Dear 16 year old lady, if you read this, we are proud of you. You are amazing, responsible, you are trying to do the right thing. This is hard right now with these two, but you will grow from this. Keep being responsible and protecting yourself. Don't roll the dice on your future. We believe in you.
I agree.
Also. Stay with your dad and away from these toxic people.
This is exactly what she needs to hear.
The right thing is not fornicating lol
I’m glad someone wrote this because it is very important that she understands this. We are not perfect but the fact that we put in an effort to be as responsible as we can be is very admirable. She must feel so alone and I really home she knows that she is not. Hopefully her and her dad can have a strong bond.
A 16-year-old is not doing the right thing if she's sleeping with someone she's dating. There is no compromise to that statement
I heard a lot of “I” I”, “I”, “my beliefs”, “my faith”.
I believe 100% that states with the highest levels of “religiousness” have higher rates of teen pregnancy and other problems. Religiousness usually means less education, less freedom but more judgment and control. Like these parents that had sex before marriage, made all sorts of mistakes but found god and became holier than thou. They are now qualified to determine who is good or bad and who deserves love or compassion
Allowing your daughter to use birth control doesn't give her a license to be sexually active, but it keeps her safer if she does. Kicking her out teaches her that your love is conditional and comes with a price she might not always be able to pay. My heart beaks for your daughter, She must see that her worth is diminished in your eyes.
Said it perfectly
Well said
Absolutely
Right. Like, you're not ALLOWING it....just acknowledging what JESUS taught...that alllll humans are fallible and let's make sure not to mess up the trajectory or your life behind it.
It also keeps her safe in the unfortunate event of a S.A.
She’s more responsible than most people…I support her 100% …..
Somebody is gonna be a grandpa soon.
She's also clearly well educated
The daughter you mean. 😊
Including her own mom
Dad, it didn’t hurt that much. The girl is trying to do the right thing. You snd mom will e forever remembered as inflexible, and you have damaged the relationship, pethaps beyond repair. 😮😮
As soon as the stepdad said she's always had a room in the house, not that it was her home too, I was so angry for the daughter. I think the mom and stepdad need a reality check big time. I wouldn't want to live with them either.
Yes thank God for dad and stepmother
Couldn’t agree more. ”Always had a room here”. Wtf.
Pretty much just shouting, this isn't your house you just live here
@@bethlangley13 Did you notice that he was in control of the conversation and the mother just hemmed and hawed? It seemed to me that he is over controlling.
@@HappyDays6058
i am 100 percent side eyeing him.👀. his investment in this whole thing is creepy af.
Birth contril is not only to avoid oregnancy but also to have less pain during periods
Don't just blindly believe birth control is a good thing. Read about the side effects.
@kikyamart8749 i'm not stupid I know but it avoids pregnancy (mansplaining)
the fact that the mum is not speaking as much and it's the stepdad doing the talking tells you anything you need to know
They both had unique contributions to the conversation. You're finding bigoted reasons to judge them. (There are better reasons to judge what they've done.)
You're right point blank
@@NXTMusicianBassist its HER daughter. Its not about contribución. She is allowing the dtepdad to dictate the trestment of HER CHILD.
@@miamiare9642 /Their/ child - don't forget they're married. They have equal rights to raise their daughter.
@@NXTMusicianBassist i dont care if theyre merged like a horrifying chimera abominación. Thats HER daughter from HER womb that shes allowing her husband to abuse. Thats disghusting of any parent to allow a stranger to do that. Marriage doesnt make you a parent
So the mother admitted she had sex before marriage and I believe the stepfather admitted he and the mother had sex before marriage, but they condemn the daughter for protecting herself from getting pregnant at sixteen like mom did?
Cause they want the daughter to be as miserable as them. They do not know what love is.
Lmao you're right
I think stepdad is jealous some kid might get what he's been grooming her for since i doubt he would be as stressed over a son wanting condoms...
So hypocritical!
I knew it. A teenage mom cuts off her teen daughter who wants to protect herself from the same fate. What a disgrace.
The mother is under the thumb of the stepfather.
@@rejectionisprotection4448wouldn’t surprise me if they go to John Piper’s church
Then she's failed her child due to weaknesses.@@rejectionisprotection4448
It is disgusting really
Right, like most people who throw their faith in your face it's do as i say not as i do/did... smdh
This is heart breaking. Coming from a daughter who can pin point the exact moment my relationship with my mother broke when I was 16 because of a similar yet different situation and her reaction to it. I’m 35 and our relationship is still broken. It’s not something you ever forget, forgive possibly but knowing that there are parameters for the one person who is supposed to love you to actually love you is a horrible feeling. I’m a firm believer in Christ and I KNOW that their reaction is not approved by Him.
I have 2 beautiful daughters and 2 beautiful sons. There is nothing they could do to make me put conditions on my love for them.
Why is the step dad having anything to say about his step daughter’s body? Ew.
💯💯💯
My thoughts EXACTLY. Creepy and controlling reeks of possible SA.
How does that feel of SA?
My mom would NEVER let that happen thank god.
@@Mn_comicsas a step dad being overly preoccupied with the non bio teens sexuality, it’s common with abusers or groomers but doesn’t always mean that
Sooooo her dad was kind enough to forgive her being pregnant at 16, but she wouldn't support her own daughter trying to prevent that for herself.
Because of new church.
Stepdad is the one pushing this narrative. Mother feels judged by her husband, for sure. And still didn't find her voice to stand up.
Doesn’t look like forgiveness. The daughter is just the whipping boy.
Wait, she’s not pregnant, just purchase birth control correct?😮
@@robingoudy3960 Correct.
She sounds like a very intelligent and responsible young woman. I hope she gets the unconditional love and guidance she deserves.
@@Marymary-ik1bx There was NOTHING in there that spoke of what kind of person she is. Nothing. I'm not sure the dad and mom are worth much either. But being positive no matter what can be toxic too.
First, I am a Christian. "Ye who are without sin, cast the first stone." Do as we say, not as we do (or did). Their daughter is amazing for trusting her parents with her decisions, and they failed her.
These are the same parents that would shame her and probably kick her out if she came home pregnant. They would not want her to abort (who really would), nor would they probably want to raise her child. Would they even help her with the child?
The initially nearly silent mother spoke volumes, and I'm sure that they are forever ringing in her daughter's ears.
"If you go by yourself, which unfortunately these days you can" people like you are exactly the reason why
Yup!
She shouldn't have had to have gone by herself.
It’s been like that for a long time! I’m nearly 50 years old and I went to the free clinic and got on birth control when I was a teenager. This isn’t something new. You’ve been able to do this for a long time, because of people like this.
@@MasonSheffieldShe could, should and did.
@pitricander It's good that she had the option and it's good that she took that option.
It absolutely sucks that she needed the option to go alone.
Parents like this make my skin crawl. Religion is YOUR choice not your daughter's.
💯 We are Catholic but also realistic. I love how Dr John refers to understanding and forgiveness as his takeaway from the bible. It just boggles my mind when religion is used as a weapon to wield control. Just NO.
But legally, her daughter shouldn't be having sex at 16. We've made that choice as a society. Are you saying that you think we should lower age of consent?
Shoo, weirdo@@gbear34
Lower at 16 most places
@@gbear34 go away pedo-bear. Just because 16yr Olds want to sleep with each other doesn't mean you get to 🐻
Crazy irony is they don’t want her to have sexual baggage in her future relationships but this type of overreaction and trauma will definitely set the stage for her to have all types of sexual guilt or religious traumas .
Religious trauma?
@@annjames1837 yeah in my opinion I feel like this girl may have a difficult time connecting a loving God her parents want her to worship to the way they dumped her when she disobeyed. I’m not saying I would feel that way but I think lots of people do and it fuels their disinterest or lack of involvement in faith communities.
So well said
@@annjames1837 Religious trauma can cause sexual issues in a relationship, which is how you end up with a Christian newlywed couple (both virgins) and one or the other putting off sex for days, months, or years because they have a skewed belief about sex. For the partner who wants and has no baggage with sex (usually mostly men), the absence of sex ends up being an issue for them because they aren't getting it in marriage as they were "promised".
Amen to that.
I get that you don’t want your child to be sexually active but you NEVER throw a 16 year old out. Ever
What a terrible mother! Got pregnant when she was 16, her father supported her, but when her daughter asked to be put on birth control, she kicks her out to the street! Terrible person, awful mother! Some people just don't deserve to be parents!
I noticed that the stepdad is doing most of the talking, I think he is driving most of this. I think they have damaged the relationship with the daughter in a way that will never recover.
@ecase727 I noticed that too. It's really sad that her mom is just going along with it.
@@sarahdeleon9439 because she is a broken person who found a man who "accepts her"
@@zacharyfair6738 nah. It's called narcissistic manipulation.
Both of them are awful.
I'm a retired OB/gyn. There are some things I haven't heard in this talk yet that are worth saying. Buying birth control pills or other methods does not mean that a child is having sex or that she is planning to do so. It can mean that she has met someone and wants to be safe IF it goes that way. There is rime for you to talk with her about why you believe that waiting is best, that there are failures of contraception, that some contraceptives do not protect against disease and that some of those diseases can have lifelong consequences, etc. Choosing t be on a contraceptive is a very responsible, grown up choice even though it is not the choice that I would want for my daughter at that age. It is a far more responsible choice than being pregnant at 16. I can fully understand that you might not be willing to let her use your insurance to pay for contraception--that if she is going to make this choice, she needs to fund it on her own. But there is no way I can understand you throwing her out of your house for making a decision to "be safe if....." You've had years to instill your values, and con continue to try to do so, but the day will come when she will make her own decisions. If you throw her out, you will ultimately get what you deserve--a daughter who will want nothing to do with you in the future.
Yeah I disagree with him saying that taking your kid to get birth control is giving your permission. It's just admitting that it's not your decision.
Well said 🙏🏻
@@Samantha-Andersonhe didn't exactly say that. He said that even though the parents are not giving permission, to a teen they will interpret the nonverbal action that way.
But if they're on bc doesn't mean they're going to have s*x.
Oh noooo what ever will they do without a promiscuous teenager around
Hell, I'm a living proof of buying protection but not needing it, I use PrEP but I haven't had sex in a long time
So, we're incredible bigots, we rather throw out and abandon our kid instead of supporting her very adult decision to better be safe than sorry.
Daughter made the right choice.
No, birth control sucks. And she wants to basically let men finish inisde her. Shes stupid . Legs closed plain and simple.
Bigots are racists. I believe the word you're looking for is hypocrites.
That is not being religious, is being in a cult when you chose it over your kid.
This “step father” is sacrificing his wife’s relationship with her daughter because hes a control freak.
YES! Yes.
Yes
yep! + her goofy ass is willingly offering up her own child for that sacrifice.
That's all I heard from this whole call honestly I grew up in the church but when it comes to my kids or God my kids come every time sorry
Sounds like mom is choosing her new man over her daughter. I’ll bet she’s one of those women jealous of her daughter’s youth beauty and perceived potential. Rich coming from a man with a “used” woman.. he’s “just worried about her having the best marriage with her future husband.” Will he enjoy vicariously..? Creepy
"She's 16 years old, her brain isn't fully developed"
Great, so wouldn't you agree it is a really bad idea for her to get pregnant?!
....and it is a really bad idea for her to be having sex.
The hard work of being a teenager is to learn discipline and self-control. Delayed gratification will pay out in adulthood.
Since their brains are not fully developed, they still need an awful lot of guidance even though at this age they figure they don't need it.
@lyndi9719 sure, but isn't it better to explain to your kid why you don't want them to have sex AND make sure they know how to do so safely on the off chance they don't listen?
Or do you prefer taking your chances and possibly have to deal with the consequences of a teenage pregnancy?
@@RileyEffective Yes, and remember, abortion is now forbidden in most of the US.
@@lyndi9719 I’m sure your disapproval and the disapproval of parents of teens everywhere will guarantee that teens never ever have s*x with other teenagers…
Her brain might not be fully developed, but she’s obviously cognitively capable of making an informed decision about her body and she is more than likely thinking about what the consequences of NOT choosing to be on birth control would mean for her future.
I was in this same situation as a teenager. I grew up in a very controlling environment, where my parents would say things like, “You can talk to me about anything,” but then use that information against me later. When I made the decision at 18 years old to start taking birth control, I did not tell my parents, because, well, legally speaking, I was an adult and I didn’t have to, but when my parents found out, they were not happy.
Idk how the mom doesn't see the absolute hypocrisy of this whole situation. If the mom could go back in time and have birth control you know she would take it.
Thank you for saying this so I know there's some sanity here
Maybe
Or maybe, just maybe, if she could go back in time, she might’ve chosen not to have sex in the first place. Because people know the risks and potential consequences. And by engaging in the activity anyways, they inherently accept those risks and potential consequences
This is exactly why I don’t feel bad for someone complaining about the struggle of having kids
@@nicholasselke5214 Mom just jealous that her kid actually bothered to get birth control
Shes a bad human being .
The fact that the daughter felt safe enough to approach her mom about birth control says a lot. But unfortunately, during a time of vulnerability, the parents (probably the stepdad more than anything) nuked the relationship. I think there is a possibility for some reconciliation but it will never be the same.
Never shame a child for wanting to be safe. These are terrible parents. Absolutely disgusting
She’s not safe though. Birth control pills fail if taken incorrectly. Safe would be to abstain.
💯
What is safe about birth control?
@@ServingVibes what not safe about birth control?
@@ServingVibes What is safe about pregnancy?
In 10 years they’ll be calling wondering why their adult child won’t have any contact with them. Please replay this call for them.
Exactly. And just because she's on birth control doesn't mean that she is choosing to have sex either. Their decision is absurd! Better safe than sorry is right. Their daughter came and confided in her parents and they kicked her out. She'll never come to them ever again.
The daughter is actually being responsible. Shame on the Mother for not standing up for her daughter to that controlling step father.
@@agf1700 couldn't agree more. It's the churchy types, too involved in their cults!
You can tell when Deloney is a bit angry when he hears these calls.
I imagine he thought the same.
It’s INSANE that all of you people are thinking that “welp…kids are just gonna be kids”. 😂 NO! The kids do not run the show! They’re minors! They have ZERO SAY
So the "Christian" guy is referring to his stepdaughter as baggage...tells you all you need to know.
Are you talking about the part where he says he doesn't want her to have more baggage? No one was ever referred to as baggage...
@@davibooth4852He didn’t say it directly. It was implied.
I thought the same thing...its very obvious
@@davibooth4852he said that he didn’t want her to have baggage, such as a child, when she eventually marries. He’s indirectly talking about how his wife had baggage, her daughter, when they married.
@@sidneym2066 Bingo. It’s so sad, really.
Kicking a teenager out (a CHILD) over birth control is crazy work. This is the opposite of parenting. Parenting means you stick around for the hard parts and guide your child. That girl will never forget this and won’t forgive them for a very long time. And it might even cause rebellion and for her to go down a bad path. Hoping her dad & stepmom can be there for her and that these two can change their views & mend the relationship. Poor girl.
The step-father is horrible but the mother is even worse for choosing him over her own daughter. These two don’t deserve to be parents.
Are you okay with your 16 yo walking around your house with her boyfriends load in her?
They are called HYPOCRITES for a reason !
The daughter is chosing the boyfriend over the parents, not vice versa.
No, the daughter is choosing her own bodily autonomy over her parents' religious beliefs. She learned from her mother's mistakes, and has shown more self awareness from the third party perspective of people trying to paint her in the worst light, than religious wackadoos are even capable of when given carte blanche airtime to try and defend their actions in the name of "God".@@jacobfernandez6055
I would never forgive them both!
I was 17 when I was pregnant. I was afraid to tell my mom because I knew I would hear "I told you so." But my dad just said we will figure things out as we go. It was such a relief after I told him. I felt I had someone on my side that would help me and guide me in the right direction. I'm now almost 70 years old and I will never forget what my dad taught me. Don't judge others and figure out a way to solve a problem. That's how I raised all three of my children. Thank you for listening.
Bless your father.
And now because you had a sympathetic, loving support beam, you seem to be a wise woman who spreads her learned knowledge to others. Children need love, not anger.
You are on your own because you acted like a normal teen except that you wanted to be responsible. Abstinence is not as strong as teenage hormones. Praying won’t stop the urges to have sex.
I read this and honestly thought my own mother may have written this. I’m so sorry your mother was like that, just as my grandmother was, but I’m thankful you both had a dad who was kind and understanding.
@@MichaelDoucette-t6l
Feeding that urge...day in and day out; movies, tv shows, music, etc., is the ultimate source of the problem.
Here early to say that removing the option of birth control is effectively increasing the risk your daughter will get pregnant. She’s being responsible… you are not.
Not only that. The mother, who had no birth control at 16 got pregnant and ended up as a single teenage mother. The daughter is doing the right thing, but the witch of a mother sided with a man instead of supporting her offspring.
I would add that teenage pregnancy is more dangerous than adult pregnancies, with more risks of eclampsia, endometriosis and sepsis for the mother, and more risk of being underweight/being born preterm, or having severe neonatal condition for the baby.
Also abtinence only policies are a huge failure. Not only teenagers still have sex, but they also are more at risk to have STDs, and pregnancies at a young age...
Yes
She is not being responsible. This is the better of 2 choices because overall everything has already failed. They already failed by having sex early when they were young, getting divorced, not educating their kids early on about this, etc. because they have already failed, sadly birth control might be the better of 2 options. But by NO means is she being responsible haha
@@mariondumont7634it’s called not having sexual intercorse lol. That is the responsible choice at 16.
😢 you made me so emotional! You are so right and honest about it. Children who are rejected by their loved ones are often so fragile and vulnerable. They will seek connection elsewhere. Yes, this issue is a tough one...
Teenage daughter needs to be applauded for taking responsibility for her actions. She should not be vilified; she should be praised. bless her.
This video has me in tears. I am a 71 year old woman. When I was 16 I went to the Dr to get birth control because I thought I was in love and was following my friends who were a little bit older than me. The Dr. called my Mother to get permission (they did that in the 60', 70's.) She lost her mind. Needless to say I did indeed get pregnant at 17, because it wont happen to me attitude. It sure did. I got kicked out of the house and my life went from bad to worse for many years. I was alone, no one to talk to. Felt so unloved. I got pregnant and had another child 18 months apart from my first pregnancy. I ended up in a hospital for 3 months having Electric Shock Therapy because the depression was so severe. My parents oddly enough came to the rescue and took in my babies and helped raise them. Please dont do this to your daughter. I think she is trying to be responsible and you are forcing her to go behind your back. She was honest with you, and trusted you. You let her down big time.
I'm so sorry it happened to you. 😢
May God bless you. But here’s the thing: with or without birth control pregnancy is always a risk, not having sex at all is the smartest decision, but the daughter would rather risk pregnancy w/ birth control to only lower the risk to an extent
Seriously. They should be grateful that she is trying to be responsible.
@@kathyalex778. I’m 37 years old and I’ve been active since high school. I’ve NEVER needed an abortion, because I had supportive, educated parents, who encouraged me to speak to doctors, and learn the most bulletproof ways to avoid pregnancy. It works. There’s almost no reason to have an accidental pregnancy in this day and age.
@@kathyalex778yes but it is much less of a risk with than without. Of course celibacy is the one way to make sure no pregnancies happen. There’s also other health benefits to being on the pill and risks as well sure but you can say that about anything. I personally got put on the pill at 15 because my periods were so irregular and heavy when they did come, and I had no intention or thoughts about having sex.
And this is why children cut off contact with their parents. Don’t be surprised if she moves away and never speaks to you again.
@@imveryhungry112 In the age of date rape drugs, it's crazy not to have your teen daughters on birth control. That doesn't mean you can't teach good judgment around sex.
@@imveryhungry112 Dude, you don't have control over your child 24/7. And teenagers are sneaky devils. I have dozens of stories of the dumb shenanigans my brother got into, and my parents didn't have a clue, even though they entirely believed they knew everything he was doing. Don't be naive.
@@imveryhungry112 And teens are off to college and living their own lives at 18. It's dangerous and dumb for any woman who doesn't want kids at that time not to be on birth control.
@@imveryhungry112”Normal” people? Or people that don’t want a teenage pregnancy. The reason they have “baggage” is because they were shamed by a useless religion.
But she is having sex. Their beliefs have not stopped her.
Imagine thinking that having 0 sexual experience will make your marriage better. These people are delusional.
What a great way to show a child that you don’t love them unconditionally
@@poppypops1987 unconditional love is not healthy nor helpful. Standards are vital
@@Joe-iq1buStandards of love? Wretched.
@@phe.mp3 ew a feminist
@@phe.mp3 standards of discipline. You wouldn’t know anything about that though.
@@Joe-iq1bu you have to have it for your child and for yourself only . Not for anyone else. It’s terrible not to have that . When I said love that includes compassion , kindness and discipline. If you have conditional love for a child that’s a recipe for a personality disorder. At best codependency. Root of cluster b personality disorders is conditional love from parents .
The relationship is already ruined. She got zero support from her own mother. It will take years to repair this.
Cannot be forgotten.
Right, and even if repaired, never forgotten. Once you see what someone is capable of doing, you can’t unsee that.
It will never be repaired, these parents showed their true colours.
Omg especially as a teenager everything already feels out of wack.
Message from stepfather to stepdaughter: “Controlling you is a vital part of MY faith. I don’t care about my wife possibly becoming a 32-year-old grandma; it’s about my perception of myself, and I need to keep you from purchasing birth control at all costs instead of ongoing conversations about wise decision-making.”
💯
Catholic😢
Step dad said, “your body, my choice” gross
You should be grateful and pleased she is thinking about responsibility.
This is exactly what NOT to do to your 16 year old daughter.
This call hit home for me, and it makes me so angry. The abandonment this young girl will carry on in to adulthood is just the beginning of her feelings of loneliness and self doubt. Unless someone takes her under their wings and shows her she’s worthy of love, self worth and respect. Fortunately for me, I found this at 16, in the arms of a loving family who had known me since I was 5 years old. They picked up my broken heart and broken pieces of my soul. To this day 50+ years later, I still love these people. They are family to me.
I strongly believe that that kind of love is the real way to embody the will of God. Thank God yoi found such a loving family ❤❤❤❤
My heart is broken for the girl in this story.
Dreadful, dreadful, controlling man.
This poor 16 year old kid, trying to be responsible and she’s got this awful, overbearing nut-job step-father calling the shots.
If the daughter is reading this please just live with your biological father and know that this step-father is bonkers.
Maybe the mother might actually develop the ability to think for herself at some point.
It’s best the daughter lives with her daddy,he will let her know to not trust boys.They want one thing
How controlling of you to think your ideology is correct.
Sad.
You disagreed with the parents because you disagreed with their viewpoints.
Kicking the child out is another issue. But why are you so controlling?
Exactly
It's not legal to kick a 16 year old out where is cps
@@mikemcbeth3216 technically she’s not being “kicked out” per se. She has another parent to go live with who probably has 50-50 custody.
I wonder how this woman’s father would’ve reacted to hearing that she’d kicked her daughter out for trying to be responsible and prevent what happened to them 16 years ago.
THIS‼️‼️‼️
That guy is only in his 50s. He’s still around. He should be embarrassed by his daughter
Exactly I’m glad you said this!!
I have a feeling that it was the stepdad's decision but the mom didn't stand her ground and protected her daughter
Wow… I feel bad for his step daughter… mental abuse is what I’m hearing
“She’s 16, her brain isn’t fully developed” but her brain seems to be developed enough to know that she wants to protect herself from getting pregnant if the very normal occurrence of a teenager having sex with another teenager happens. It’s her body. These people are very strange.
Having sex as a teenager is not normal. What does the Bible say about that?
I personally think that she is very responsible by wanting to protect herself against something she knows she is not ready for ! Your personal beliefs as her stepfather have zero barring on her choice or this situation! You are first and foremost her stepfather and need to stay out of this very personal issue! You are the kind of person that will have a stepdaughter pregnant at 17 and then say “oh well this was your choice now deal with it”! Some people just shouldn’t be parents!
Religious fanatics.
@@Ckawauchi35cultists gonna cult 😮💨☕
Also, the brain fully develops at 25 years… do parents want to wait until she’s in her mid 20s??
I completely forgot the wife was on the phone. Wished she had called without this husband. Poor daughter.
Right! Dude out here monologuing like a Bond villian.
a call from her would have been entirely different. it would have been about how she got pregnant at 16, was left by the father of the child, and then was taken in by this religious man who was making her turn her back on her 16 year old daughter.
I’m disgusted by this mother. What a weak woman. Letting her husband rule the roost & destroy her relationship with her daughter.
@@ccm971 the child is destroying the relationship
@@scratch57it’s a CHILD. This is the adults responsibility
This child is smarter than the adults in her life. Poor girl
They did not do their actions for her. They did it for them.
So mom, who had a baby at 16, doesn’t want to help her daughter prevent the same fate because of her new husband’s self-righteous beliefs? Hope they like nursing homes.
This honestly makes me so angry!
yep and she will not have them at her wedding because the odds are they will dictate how it should be done and forget baby shower too.
💯
💯
110% And I hope it's the crappiest nursing home.
Thank you so much for calling this all out! So many people use Christianity to justify harming children
So true, thank you for posting this!
Why do you consider it harming children not to provide birth control?
@@margaretmorrison7301 She kicked her out of the house. At 16. She said if you go on birth control i am no longer your parent. Thats SUPER messed up.
Yes indeed.
@@margaretmorrison7301Crazy that you’re a woman saying this lol. Don’t y’all take birth control just to reduce period cramps? That ain’t what happened here but can you not think of any way that it would harmful not to provide that and then kick them out?
This is disgusting. I'm physically ill from this call. That poor child.
at least she has her dad.
P word
I agree. I wish John had made this much shorter and much harsher.
@user-qp2qe5gf9b agree! I think he handled it well but I would have been a little more blunt on the hypocrisy. I wish he had asked, "how woukd you have felt if your dad kicked you out when you got pregnant?"
@@Starday723y🤨 set the bar high
You did an amazing job guiding them while still respecting their beliefs.
My mother told me NO SEX and refused to let me even be alone with a boy till i turned 18, and i ended up getting pregnant the same month i turned 18... Please teach your children about contraceptives and being safe, I promise you they will find a way to sneak around if they want too!
You had a good mom
@@KathysellsCaliforniainstilling fear instead of educating a kid on sex is literally how op got pregnant, how is that a success in your eyes I dont understand
@@cheyennasandlin8840 your mom was good, you messed up stop blaming your mom.
@@KingDroza.The mom messed up for sure
@@KathysellsCalifornia Yeah no. Ever wonder why the states that have the highest rates of teen pregnancy and STDs are conservative? Because they only do abstinence only "sex education". They dont educate their children, all they tell them is "You will burn in hell if you have sex". Thats not "teaching" them anything.
Do these mothers have a spine? This is your child that you’re letting someone else dictate the relationship you have with her. Kicking your child out due to birth control is INSANE.
No. They prioritize the husband and being submissive to him over their children. Becuase they’ve been told they’re lucky a man still wants them
Kicking a daughter out is sickening and will cause trauma for a lifetime. Terrible parenting. I am sure Jesus is proud of you.
Also how much do they believe in biblical beliefs? Both being divorced. Seems to me this guy only believes in religion when it's convenient for him. When it's someone else he gets to punish. But he doesn't hold himself to those biblical standards.
I could NEVER imagine kicking my daughter out of my house! That’s crazy!
My neighbor’ daughter got pregnant at 16. Her parents are strong Christians. They were not happy. They could have kicked them out. They chose Grace and Love. They supported the couple getting married. They let them live with them so they could finish high school. They brought them to church every Sunday proudly. This young couple felt loved and knew who they could go to for support and help. They have now been happily married 20 yrs with 5 children.
I love this.
There are a lot worse things that can happen in life than having grandkids a few years too early.
There's a difference between telling your parents your already pregnant vs telling them you want go on birth control thus becoming subject to acidental pregnancy.
They're loving parents and it's great it worked out for that young couple. That is not the majority of case and the parents probably felt like they failed their daughter when she told them. Getting pregnant at 16 is bad, regardless if it all worked out 20 years later.
So instead of teaching responsible sx and allowing abortion as an option when their CHILD fell pregnant they enrolled her in an underage marriage in which she is now stuck by having four more children. And this is seen by people as something in any way, shape or form as something positive?
@@Lyrazel there's nothing responsible or positive about murdering your unborn child
Who says she wants anything to do with them anymore. I personally would never speak to them again, they would never know their grandchild, I would not be at their funeral.....but that's just me. I go particularly hard.
The mother is SO weak. She allowed her spouse to destroy the relationship with her daughter over his religious zealotry. That poor kid.
Happens far too often, thr bio will bow to the step just so they can keep that person in their lives. It's disgusting and shameful.
Not to mention, dominate the entire conversation. I'm ten minutes in and I think she's said literally one word.
You nailed it right on the head ! Notice how he started the Conversation but got real quiet when it wasn't aligning with his beliefs Don't get me wrong.I don't think kids should be having sex at that kind of age.But you should never turn your back on your kids Religion or not it's your job to guide them through life
And unconditionally Supportive . Like Dr John says as long as there not being a danger to them self and the family what else is there
Exactly, he overstepped. Notice how at first he was the main and first voice. But he slowly stopped yapping whenever it became clear that DR disagreed.
THEN, the mom stepped up and offered her voice and info.
I’m sure they’re part of one of the religions where the man is the authority in the family and the woman is to serve him
Her father accepted and loved her unconditionally, but she decided not to love her daughter unconditionally.
It’s so sad. She’s a weak woman that has allowed her husband to be the one in control and she chose her husband over her daughter. Her daughter will remember that for ever.
It's so sad. The step father needs to take a step back.
@@tulipchchnzhe won’t though. It’s all about control with this type
@@BusArch42I guarantee he is the type that would rather kill his step daughter than for her to have pre-marital sex. He would for sure be casting the first stone.
@Femtoisbackandbetter interesting take. My husband apologized for not being there for me at the worst point in my life. Maybe that’s why we have been together for 35 years. I forgave him
Dr. John's face as he was listening to the stepdad says what we're all thinking. I have a 17 YO daughter and I'm a Christian, I can't fathom kicking her out over birth control. These 'parents' are the reason we hear news stories about kids having babies and leaving them in dumpsters. She won't be going back to her mom's. I know I wouldn't.
yep, that relationship would never be real again.
sometimes women NEED birthcontrol, im a 20 yr old and my parents do not care if im on birth control. i know im an adult, but i get super sick around my period and i take it to stop throwing up.
@@daintyann2935yes, but this is not why it’s been used here so no comparison.
😢 I know. This is a perversion of Christian values. These people have a responsibility to protect and love this girl and they threw her out. 😢
I wonder if they have children together!
The dominative nature of the step father, "our child is in our health insurance, phone bill, car insurance" yeah because they are still a child...
Because why is the stepfather the one talking? It’s all him. Shame on the mom.
You are a weak mother.Shame on you.Stepdad has zero right stepping in.Leave him
I suspect he uses G*d as an excuse to control/bully/abuse his family.
Step dad is probably an emotionally abusive narcissist and has manipulated this entire tragedy. She will hopefully find her strength and get the hell out, and reclaim her daughter.
She’s playing the lamb under her hero lion husband. They’re both ridiculous. He’s masking and she’s liking it. Hope the daughter gets far away.
Because this kind of guy is patriarchal and is the authority.
Can you imagine your child confiding in you and trusting you with such a vulnerable subject, and instead of feeling grateful that your child trusts you, you kick them out of your house. Your kid will never trust you again.
Good and sad point. I pray they change their ways and walk their daughter into a real relationship with Jesus in truth and holiness, but also in love.
@@angelanordmeyer4730 I’m glad she has learned young *exactly* how poisonous religion is- hopefully the chain is permanently broken because religion HATES women. These parents have done her a huge favour in helping her see the poison of religion.
They didn't kick her out of the house, they gave her an ultimatum. If she leaves that's her choice as the adult she thinks she is.
@@jacobfernandez6055 Call csp, sue for full custody and child support..
The think is you cannot treat minor as an adult. Who is even step parent to enforce such.
@jacobfernandez6055 When you're child comes to you for support, giving them an ultimatum isn't love or compassion.
She may someday forgive her mom, but their relationship is forever damaged. What horrible, self-righteous, hypocrites.
Dr. John didn’t hold this step dad accountable to his extreme values. He clearly has influence over this mom. She’s trying to tell him without telling him.
Agree
I think he was holding 90% of what he thought back. I think what he really would have like to do is grab this guy and shake some sense into the asshole.