I'm abstinent. Hoping it is the same for the man whom gave me an offer of commitment. People get in the mood from time to time, but no way I am messing that up just for a temporary physical fix when I can have that forever with my forever love.
Yes don't sis! Because listen, I had a bad dream that I had lost my purity, Im no virgin but I been abstinence for iver 4.5 years, but still... I feel purified.... In the bad dream I allowed the desire to take over and afterwards I was so upset!!! So yes, let's stay strong! Once the time arrives when it is ok, hey... Lol! In the meanwhile let's be strong, the joy of the Lord is our strength.
@WarriorMichelle57 I appreciate the advice, but there are things that should already be revealed to you before you get to that point. Trusting your intuition is always best.
I'm waiting until marriage and I relate to the story that was shared. Some men are willing to wait and one of my colleagues shared he was willing to wait even though it was new for him because the young lady he was getting to know was special. He is younger in his late 20s. I was relieved in my last relationship because the man was also waiting already. Ironically, I did announce it when he mentioned living together. However, it did not work out because we never developed romantic chemistry despite having similar values. It felt like a platonic friendship. My preference is to bring it up when the man brings it up. It comes up very soon with men who expect physical intimacy and it typically does not come up with men who are waiting.
I’m abstinent met a guy we really connected but unfortunately he is distant. He was honest and said it would be a strain on him. I respect that. I will continue to wait for my person. I respect honesty.
I'm an abstinent woman & I am going on 2 years. I was married for two decades & i have been working on myself since my divorce 2.5 years ago. I CHOOSE not to have sex because there is nothing casual about it. I'm intentional on who I give my energy & my time to. I am NOT creating soul ties with men I have no business creating a soul tie with. After my divorce, I messed up waddling in my pain & depression. I allowed my emotions to dictate how I moved. I learned there are lying, manipulating, and conniving men that prey on vulnerable women. It was a hard lesson learned, but it was a LESSON indeed. I am taken time to know me & love on me. I've learned what I like about me, what I dislike about me, & I'm still learning how to truly FEEL my emotions. I had to figure out what it was about ME that I didn't like to the point I stayed in a toxic marriage for many years. I say all that to say, being abstinent has brought about a clearer vision for me. I can THINK without my judgment being clouded. My attachment style is anxious attachment & that is something else I needed to work on. I wouldn't have been able to do that WITH sex on the table. I am a new empty nester, just moved away to a new city to start over, new apartment, new work place, & just living right now. ANY man that is interested in getting to know me will have to do so WITHOUT sex. I tell them upfront & allow them to weed themselves out. I needed this message. Thank you! ❤
You and I are in exactly the same place right now. Two decades together, two years apart, same attachment style, not wanting any nonsense from people. 👊
I’m so glad you made this. After a 20 marriage and 4 single, I’m meeting men again. Didn’t realize that in this day and age dating = sex. I’m Christian and confused by the line of legalism and holiness.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Before I met my ex-husband I was celibate for 14 1/2 years. When we met and the relationship began to move towards being serious. We had a discussion about celibacy. We both had NO ISSUES with it. We completely agreed. We got married, our first night together was when we got married. Now, that we've gone our separate ways. When I speak to men and we maybe headed towards a serious relationship. I explain to them that I believe in celibacy before marriage. I explain my reasons during a casual conversation. While we're expressing our EXPECTATIONS in a dating relationship. It's very clear on where we stand. Casual conversations about this is definitely the best way to do it. Thank you, Stephan!
Recently, I had a challenging split. The breakup of my five-year relationship a few months ago has been quite difficult. I still harbor a deep affection for my ex-boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My attempts to win him back have been unsuccessful, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. It may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
I simply looked him up on the internet because of your useful information. extraordinary Father Obah Eze is very sincere, according to my online research. Once more, thank you ❤
I’m a celibate woman of faith. I gracefully and casually let it be known only after the gentleman expresses interest in exploring a potential relationship. I do not wish to mislead anyone, not even for a minute. This is a choice in as much as being a vegetarian is a lifestyle choice. Assuredly, I know I hold much more value than merely sharing my body. There is SO much MORE to me. Look, it’s pretty simple with me, I’m an affectionate lover who loves to love, cuddle and fall asleep with one man. I give myself - heart, mind, and body, catering to one man. Praying for one man. Knowing how I can become attached when sexually involved, I prefer to abstain from sex. I’m holding on to having my own man who loves, understands, and is mutually committed to building together. Until then, and after then, other folks can keep their messy, sneaky link culture. Respectfully, my soul ain’t for sharing.
Abstinence: Refers to the temporary avoidance of sexual activity. Can be for a specific period of time, such as during a relationship or for religious reasons. May include avoiding all forms of sexual contact, including masturbation. Celibacy: Refers to a long-term or permanent commitment to abstaining from sexual activity. Often associated with religious vows or a personal decision to live a life without sex. May extend beyond sexual activity to include romantic relationships and other intimate connections. Key Differences: Duration: Abstinence is temporary, while celibacy is long-term or permanent.
Yes. Grew up in the Catholic faith and this is what I was taught. We were encouraged to stay abstinent until marriage. Religious folk like priests and nuns took vows of celibacy.
I absolutely LOVED everything you said up until the end. I'm not going to be friends while acknowledging attraction and hoping it's going to go somewhere with a guy who's just plugging himself into any available hole he can find in the meantime.
As a single 37 year old Christian woman with no children, I can tell you that not having a spouse can be a bit difficult at times because I do desire marriage and companionship. However, I have finally gotten to the place of understanding my worth and value in the Lord to where being alone and keeping my purity holds more weight than sleeping around or shaking up with a man. Next month will be 2 years & 6 months of abstaining from sex. This is a purity journey for me. This is something I’m doing for me and God. In my past, I have experienced a few failed relationships. I have realize my worth and value in the Lord since then. The man I will marry one day will be on the same path as me because I’m truly allowing God to send my husband this time around. I don’t believe in dating as the world dates. Contentment is key. Love the video! 😊
@@MeetStephanSpeaksI've been literally legally separated from my husband for 8 years before then I was Celibate before we separated with after that I met someone but now that's over I've been literally Celibate for 3 years and I'm absolutely fine with it
Thanks for this video! So helpful and insightful. One of the biggest challenge for us believers is to remain celibate until marriage. It’s tough but well worth it.
Being a Christian, I hold to these values. This can be a very tricky conversation. I say that because a woman, or a man can say they're abstinent, but fulfill their own sexual desires. I had a conversation just this week with one younger lady, who expressed that a woman needs to explore her own body (aka sexually fulfill herself). I explained to her that in the long-run this could backfire, with her receiving sexual fulfillment from her partner. I'm glad you're discussing this topic for several reasons.
I want to encourage the ladies here. Ive had 2 men in my life that waited. With the first I was young...he waited for me 6 months and i gave in eventually because i assumed he would leave if i didn't. He told me later on that if i had asked him to wait until marriage, he would have. I was mad at myself for not assuming the best in him. He was a great guy. The second guy....we had a physical relationship but he respected my wanting to wait so we did. I have zero regrets because because he died sime time into our relationship and I am incredibly grateful I didn't stain his soul. We have to protect each other's soul.
I practice abstinence because I'm in my purpose. And now I understand what being abstinent means.... a lack of control and then becoming abstinent. Because of huit's it's a control mechanism. so that would be an issue. The abstinence because you understand your body can be a temple. But it also can be a prison. That's just my perspective and my experience. Thank🤗 you for allowing🤝 me to share.🙏
Thank you dear Stephane for this interesting video, I will say personally if the guy knows that you are really the woman of his life he will agree with you to waiting until marriage. After 3months of dating I told him about abstinence he agreed without asking a question cause he knew from the beginning I was special for him . We are all attached to each other… we can count on God for his guidance ☺️🥰
This was so good!!! So practical, and so refreshing for a topic that can so easily become muddied. Even for the most spirit-led believer trying to navigate very real emotions and desires with somebody.
I love the friends with stated interests approach. I feel I am walking this concept out right now with a man I'm very much interested in and I know he's interested in me too, but he wants to build a friendship and take it slow without any expectation of physical being thrown at each other yet. We just didn't put that label on it as you have stated. But same idea in practice.
I agree with having a discussion about celibacy, I am all in with this, however I dont want to become emotionally tied to a guy as a friend when he is going to be out here seeing other ppl. I am in the over 40 club, and the casual friends are more for a younger set. Where I am in life now, if the man has to frequently get his tires rotated and not practice a life of discipline, then he can be my guest and do what he needs to do independent of me. Moreover, my grandmother used to say in all your pleasing of your flesh, outside the covenant of God's blessings, if Jesus was to return, can he say, "Well done." Remember, our actions will show up in our lives at some point. I don't owe anyone anything anymore but to plesse God. God's man will understand the need for us to wait. I definitely agree with being friends first. Stephan, I am free at this juncture in my life. Others have to generate what is best for them. I choose to plesse God. Period.
I'm actually more spiritual than religious , but have chosen to be celibate/abstinent since my last relationship that ended about 3 years ago. My life has been a lot more simple, maybe because I also haven't even been attracted to anyone so that made it easier. However that has changed recently , hence why I sought out this video for some advice from a male perspective. This has been very helpful. While I feel like I have done enough healing to know the why in my celibacy beyond the past hurt, I find myself wanting to tell him upfront so we don't waste anyone's time. But you are right, that is coming from a place of past hurt. I know I have avoidant attachment so I'm aware this is perhaps me pushing it away or sabotaging something that actually might be very good for me. So I know what I need to work on truly letting go before really pursuing this new person . I have a feeling he would wait though, we seem to have a lot of the same values. This approach in dating & relationships is all very new to me so I appreciate this very much. Thank you.
To me..from my past exoerience a few years ago.. Better Help is for people whom do not have anyone else to talk to, and struggle with spirituality, self journaling, and etc. I did not have that issue, so I did not use their services for even an entire month. Kudos to those who really need that and etc.
I'm a new subcriber, and I love Stephans sense of humour. I smile whenever he laughs while sharing these topics with us 😃 I enjoy your videos too, you said it well in this video, but I learnt recently that some men who aren't genuine with a woman will make her believe that they respect her choice by not asking for sex again in the relationship, meanwhile they get sex somewhere else. So because he doesn't ask for it again and again, the lady will now feel that the man is the right choice unfortunately sometimes it is late to learn that she actually married a "public manhvvd" and not what you think you had. Sometimes it may be hard for women who don't want sex before marriage
I’m not sure if kissing is okay if you’re trying to live in abstinence. Also, you have to be intentional about dating. Don’t place yourself in compromising situations. Bro. Stephan, you said it all in this video. Not much to comment. I believe in waiting until marriage. Thank you!
Stephan, thank you so much for all the advise you give to women. We need it! Keep it going 👏🏼 I’m wondering about “Friends with stated interest”: what does this look like? Perhaps a topic for another video? 😊 Thank you & may God Bless you.
I appreciate this video but I actually went on a date with a guy and he spent a lot of money on the date and he assumed sex went with the costly date. So I tell the man upfront, if you spend a lot of money or a little money, we not having sex. Don’t assume that from me because you spend a lot of money on me. These men believe that spending money leads to having sex. It a defense mechanism because these men are predators.
Great topic & video! 💯👏🏼❤️ I’ve never… I choose to wait till marriage. Even as a believer, I know the temptation is there for many. Desire or lust is real. No one is perfect. My reasons for waiting are… * It’s in God’s Holy Word to wait. * I don’t want to freely give that away to just any man. * I want to set an example for my nieces & nephews, my younger cousins, my siblings & for my future kids. * For my future husband, ( whoever the godly man God has created for me for my future, my forever love) I want him to be the only man I allow to touch me in that way…to give myself freely & fully to him. * I don’t want to play house; play marriage. I know the right man will understand my reasons for saving myself till marriage. ( I don’t care what people say about me about my reasons… I’ve been called some crazy things…) This is how “I” choose to live my life!
I needed to see this. I am in this situation right now. Because I am developing feelings. It’s getting hard for me to remain in the friend zone that I put in place. It’s crazy 😂. The connection is so strong. I want to believe he is my person.
@ so far he has been really patient with me. We are attracted to each other, but I don’t want him to get to comfortable in the friend zone. Because I don’t want to stay there forever. Oh I forgot to mention. I am also going through a divorce. Makes things tricky because we both have the fear of TMH in us.
Not in all cases..For example I am abstinent because I am not physically with my desired mate..Now after we are closer and we choose to do otherwise, then that would be our business, but some people like myself do not want to be just giving their goodies away to the wrong man. It is supposed to be a very sacred event between two consenting people..not with just anyone.
Thank you for everything you do for us Stephan. There is one request I have; could you please make a video about people who like you but are reserved/slightly cold and people who don't really like you but are polite and would not tell you straight away. I know you discuss relationships, but sometimes I find myself completely lost even when it comes to everyday interactions with people as well. Happy Christmas and thank you😊❤❤
I watch all your videos, in general. I literally watched this 30 min AFTER I told the guy 😂. Idk how that happened that way but we'll see where it goes.
Is someone peeling onions?! Dunno y I cried thru this whole thing… WOW I didn’t realize how important my celibacy means to me. Going thru this now. In my faith s3x is marriage as the Bible teaches….
Me personally..I never told my person that I was exactly waiting until marraige. I said I was abstinent until we were together. We are already married in spirit, so...
I have heard other coaches say that if it's possible, it's best to mention it once you know a man loves you because it's too easy for them to let you go before they catch feelings. Once they see your value and love you, they may be more able to feel like they can and should make the sacrifice for you. This is easier when it's a man that you've known for awhile before you start dating. I think it's harder if it's someone you start dating right after meeting them because you will have to cultivate a relationship for a bit before they will feel love for you. All these things take time for him to feel love for you. Be selective with men.
I’m doing what the Bible says PERIODT💯‼️ A real Godly man that’s submitted to God will be in line with what the Bible says! It’s nonnegotiable GOD TRUMP ALL! If he can’t respect my Christian values & standards, he’s NOT the one for me
Thank u been abstained from sex for so many years because it’s a good way 1st to hear clearly from God and 2nd u get to know who u are and the friend u are with young or older but for me younger😂 this just me I tell them in a friendly conversation right from the start which gives them the opportunity to run or stay this works for me!!! And yes some do stay❤ and some don’t which is good either way!!!
Late dates is not a bad idea to me, because personally that may have been a better time for her. She did not make the first move according to you..the man "assumed" she wanted the moves put on her while watching the movie. She could have been just testing to see what he would try to do. Hopefully my person is not still out here dating after making me an offer, because we are long distance. All he has to do is gap that if he is really serious. I don't entertain other guys like that.
If a person is abstinent it is easier to Not date. Save yourself and the other person the stresses that come along with explaining your reasoning. Be happy within yourself. Cause for many sex is core. Single or engaged.
Stephan yes ,lets talk about SEX ,you mentioned that " maybe he is trying to take hos time " ladies if ever you encounter such ,be mindfull he is an extremely speical guy
What if you are so traumatized that you don’t ever want to get married again, but also so traumatized that you don’t want to have sex outside marriage 😂
I never understood howen can run through as many women as he wants and is considered clean for marriage at any point. Women need to have a low body count. 😳
Because men dont catch feelings the same as women, you're looking through a lens where you perceive men and women to be the same yet we are totally different. Men are happy with the arrangement of being used for s3x but women are not, this is one example. Men do not produce the same pair bonding chemicals as women do during s3x, this is 2, i can keep listing the differences between us but until ypu open your mind to the fact that we are different there is no point.
Great topic! When you refrain from having sex when getting to know someone, your just preserving yourself for someone who is hopefully wanting to invest into you because they see value in you aside from sex. Sex is great, one of the best thing s ever, but should be with someone who cares about you more than just that. We are much more than a tool. Don't be fooled. If someone values you and is interested in your mind, your spirit, and the whole vessel of you, and honor your value,they will wait until marriage. Once you mutually meet each others criteria and feel you cant wait for a sexual connection,then it's time to seal the deal and get married. Life isn't complicated, people are. Be honest with your self and walk in your truth, walk by faith and not be sight. Whatever God has designed for you is yours. Dont give yourself to every applicant that applies to play a role in yourself. Trust the process & wait for your blessing and know that you are a blessing 💪
Sex is important in a relationship, but before that the communication and their actions is what you have to appreciate and cherish one another before having sex with each other or make love❤
God has a lot to say about sex. Everything He tells us about sex is for our own good. I believe God. Is it easy to walk that path?? Absolutely NOT. The struggle IS real. Right now I feel "safe" because I'm not dating anyone. The real test begins when I start dating again and actually fall in love. I'm also believing God that my person will have the same mindset as far as wanting to wait. If not then, I guess that's not my person. I totally agree with you about having parameters/safeguards in place so you won't be in compromising positions and/or situations. I also agree that you don't have to announce your intentions either. It's unfortunate that some men project that sex is bad or non existent after marriage but somehow sex is all that and a bag of chips when your promiscuous. That ain't nothing but the devil spewing that nonsense and people be believing it too. The devil hates love and marriage. Of course he's going to give it a negative connotation and try to convince people think that they're missing out on something. They're missing out on something alright: heartbreak, soul ties, STD's regret, guilt, shame, comparisons, confusion, etc. I'll gladly miss out on that! I need all the clarity I can get! I think there's value in being disciplined. To me that's the "real" high-value. not money but denying your flesh and honoring God with your body. It shows obedience, self-control and strength which to me in the long run builds trust, loyalty, respect etc. Last, I believe that God will bless, honor and reward couples and give them the desires and pleasures of their heart!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Goodness gracious ,telling a man you are ABSTANANT , if he is a Caribbean man am sure this will be a hudge NO unless he has an ED problem ,trust me
Don’t tease men, tell them right away so no time is wasted …..if he doesn’t want to wait …..it’s ok ladies, he’s of the devil anyway if he doesn’t wait ….God wants us all to wait till marriage.
With *all* *due* *respect* Stephan 🫡 IMO you can skip all that 🙂↔️ Simply proclaim that waiting till marriage, AIN’T FOR AVERAGE people 🙄 uhg. So, *less* you can match my self control, of one of those Royal Soldiers 💂with the funny hats; then, go ahead and move onto the next and keep *breaking* *your* *own* *heart* ❤️🩹🤡💔 the next ex-wife 💸
I feel it weeds out the ones that will waste your time ....
Amen 🙏
I'm abstinent. Hoping it is the same for the man whom gave me an offer of commitment. People get in the mood from time to time, but no way I am messing that up just for a temporary physical fix when I can have that forever with my forever love.
Amen 🙏
Yes don't sis! Because listen, I had a bad dream that I had lost my purity, Im no virgin but I been abstinence for iver 4.5 years, but still... I feel purified.... In the bad dream I allowed the desire to take over and afterwards I was so upset!!! So yes, let's stay strong! Once the time arrives when it is ok, hey... Lol! In the meanwhile let's be strong, the joy of the Lord is our strength.
@WarriorMichelle57 I appreciate the advice, but there are things that should already be revealed to you before you get to that point. Trusting your intuition is always best.
I believe God's got me. If a man doesn't want a woman who is waiting until marriage, let him keep on steppin!
I’m waiting because of my faith. My faith is apart of who I am.
I'm waiting until marriage and I relate to the story that was shared. Some men are willing to wait and one of my colleagues shared he was willing to wait even though it was new for him because the young lady he was getting to know was special. He is younger in his late 20s. I was relieved in my last relationship because the man was also waiting already. Ironically, I did announce it when he mentioned living together. However, it did not work out because we never developed romantic chemistry despite having similar values. It felt like a platonic friendship. My preference is to bring it up when the man brings it up. It comes up very soon with men who expect physical intimacy and it typically does not come up with men who are waiting.
I hear you 🙏
I’m abstinent met a guy we really connected but unfortunately he is distant. He was honest and said it would be a strain on him. I respect that. I will continue to wait for my person. I respect honesty.
I'm an abstinent woman & I am going on 2 years. I was married for two decades & i have been working on myself since my divorce 2.5 years ago. I CHOOSE not to have sex because there is nothing casual about it. I'm intentional on who I give my energy & my time to. I am NOT creating soul ties with men I have no business creating a soul tie with. After my divorce, I messed up waddling in my pain & depression. I allowed my emotions to dictate how I moved. I learned there are lying, manipulating, and conniving men that prey on vulnerable women. It was a hard lesson learned, but it was a LESSON indeed. I am taken time to know me & love on me. I've learned what I like about me, what I dislike about me, & I'm still learning how to truly FEEL my emotions. I had to figure out what it was about ME that I didn't like to the point I stayed in a toxic marriage for many years. I say all that to say, being abstinent has brought about a clearer vision for me. I can THINK without my judgment being clouded. My attachment style is anxious attachment & that is something else I needed to work on. I wouldn't have been able to do that WITH sex on the table. I am a new empty nester, just moved away to a new city to start over, new apartment, new work place, & just living right now. ANY man that is interested in getting to know me will have to do so WITHOUT sex. I tell them upfront & allow them to weed themselves out. I needed this message. Thank you! ❤
Thank you for sharing your experience and your story 🙏
You and I are in exactly the same place right now. Two decades together, two years apart, same attachment style, not wanting any nonsense from people. 👊
I’m so glad you made this. After a 20 marriage and 4 single, I’m meeting men again. Didn’t realize that in this day and age dating = sex. I’m Christian and confused by the line of legalism and holiness.
I'll take the friendship approach... I'm not in a hurry
SAME🙏🏼💅🏽
Smart move
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
Before I met my ex-husband I was celibate for 14 1/2 years. When we met and the relationship began to move towards being serious. We had a discussion about celibacy. We both had NO ISSUES with it. We completely agreed.
We got married, our first night together was when we got married. Now, that we've gone our separate ways. When I speak to men and we maybe headed towards a serious relationship. I explain to them that I believe in celibacy before marriage. I explain my reasons during a casual conversation. While we're expressing our EXPECTATIONS in a dating relationship. It's very clear on where we stand. Casual conversations about this is definitely the best way to do it.
Thank you, Stephan!
Thank you for sharing this with us 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks You're very welcome 😁
Recently, I had a challenging split. The breakup of my five-year relationship a few months ago has been quite difficult. I still harbor a deep affection for my ex-boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My attempts to win him back have been unsuccessful, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. It may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
His name is Father Obah Eze and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I simply looked him up on the internet because of your useful information. extraordinary
Father Obah Eze is very sincere, according to my online research. Once more, thank you ❤
I’m a celibate woman of faith. I gracefully and casually let it be known only after the gentleman expresses interest in exploring a potential relationship. I do not wish to mislead anyone, not even for a minute.
This is a choice in as much as being a vegetarian is a lifestyle choice. Assuredly, I know I hold much more value than merely sharing my body. There is SO much MORE to me.
Look, it’s pretty simple with me, I’m an affectionate lover who loves to love, cuddle and fall asleep with one man. I give myself - heart, mind, and body, catering to one man. Praying for one man. Knowing how I can become attached when sexually involved, I prefer to abstain from sex. I’m holding on to having my own man who loves, understands, and is mutually committed to building together. Until then, and after then, other folks can keep their messy, sneaky link culture. Respectfully, my soul ain’t for sharing.
Amen 🙏
Abstinence:
Refers to the temporary avoidance of sexual activity.
Can be for a specific period of time, such as during a relationship or for religious reasons.
May include avoiding all forms of sexual contact, including masturbation.
Celibacy:
Refers to a long-term or permanent commitment to abstaining from sexual activity.
Often associated with religious vows or a personal decision to live a life without sex.
May extend beyond sexual activity to include romantic relationships and other intimate connections.
Key Differences:
Duration: Abstinence is temporary, while celibacy is long-term or permanent.
Yes. Grew up in the Catholic faith and this is what I was taught. We were encouraged to stay abstinent until marriage. Religious folk like priests and nuns took vows of celibacy.
@@Wa7kr Yet, the nuns get raped and the priests do the raping and molesting after taking said "vows"?
Get out my head! You're right on time with this one. Sending you 🫂
I appreciate that 🙏
I absolutely LOVED everything you said up until the end. I'm not going to be friends while acknowledging attraction and hoping it's going to go somewhere with a guy who's just plugging himself into any available hole he can find in the meantime.
I’m waiting until Marriage as well due to my faith. I remain friends until God say move forward with someone!
As a single 37 year old Christian woman with no children, I can tell you that not having a spouse can be a bit difficult at times because I do desire marriage and companionship. However, I have finally gotten to the place of understanding my worth and value in the Lord to where being alone and keeping my purity holds more weight than sleeping around or shaking up with a man.
Next month will be 2 years & 6 months of abstaining from sex. This is a purity journey for me. This is something I’m doing for me and God. In my past, I have experienced a few failed relationships. I have realize my worth and value in the Lord since then. The man I will marry one day will be on the same path as me because I’m truly allowing God to send my husband this time around. I don’t believe in dating as the world dates. Contentment is key. Love the video! 😊
God bless you and good luck!
This message is right time…
Thank you 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaksI've been literally legally separated from my husband for 8 years before then I was Celibate before we separated with after that I met someone but now that's over I've been literally Celibate for 3 years and I'm absolutely fine with it
I'm not waiting for marriage, just for a man who is worthy of my precious time & my body ✨
I completely understand
When I say RIGHT ON TIMEEEE!! Scary almost 😂
🙏
Thanks for this video! So helpful and insightful. One of the biggest challenge for us believers is to remain celibate until marriage. It’s tough but well worth it.
I’m glad you found it helpful
Being a Christian, I hold to these values. This can be a very tricky conversation. I say that because a woman, or a man can say they're abstinent, but fulfill their own sexual desires. I had a conversation just this week with one younger lady, who expressed that a woman needs to explore her own body (aka sexually fulfill herself). I explained to her that in the long-run this could backfire, with her receiving sexual fulfillment from her partner. I'm glad you're discussing this topic for several reasons.
Great video! Still not dating anyone but I often wonder how that conversation would go 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Thanks for sharing, much love!
Thank you ❤
Excellent. Thank you sir.
I’m glad you found it helpful. 🙏
SO thankful for this video!
🙌❤️
It's very important to Wait on the Lord. The Lord wants us to WAIT. 🙏
I want to encourage the ladies here. Ive had 2 men in my life that waited. With the first I was young...he waited for me 6 months and i gave in eventually because i assumed he would leave if i didn't. He told me later on that if i had asked him to wait until marriage, he would have. I was mad at myself for not assuming the best in him. He was a great guy. The second guy....we had a physical relationship but he respected my wanting to wait so we did. I have zero regrets because because he died sime time into our relationship and I am incredibly grateful I didn't stain his soul. We have to protect each other's soul.
😢❤
I practice abstinence because I'm in my purpose. And now I understand what being abstinent means.... a lack of control and then becoming abstinent. Because of huit's it's a control mechanism.
so that would be an issue. The abstinence because you understand your body can be a temple. But it also can be a prison. That's just my perspective and my experience. Thank🤗 you for allowing🤝 me to share.🙏
God bless you Stephan! 💕
Thank you dear Stephane for this interesting video, I will say personally if the guy knows that you are really the woman of his life he will agree with you to waiting until marriage. After 3months of dating I told him about abstinence he agreed without asking a question cause he knew from the beginning I was special for him . We are all attached to each other… we can count on God for his guidance ☺️🥰
This was so good!!! So practical, and so refreshing for a topic that can so easily become muddied. Even for the most spirit-led believer trying to navigate very real emotions and desires with somebody.
I love the friends with stated interests approach. I feel I am walking this concept out right now with a man I'm very much interested in and I know he's interested in me too, but he wants to build a friendship and take it slow without any expectation of physical being thrown at each other yet. We just didn't put that label on it as you have stated. But same idea in practice.
Thank you. I needed to hear this.
I agree with having a discussion about celibacy, I am all in with this, however I dont want to become emotionally tied to a guy as a friend when he is going to be out here seeing other ppl. I am in the over 40 club, and the casual friends are more for a younger set. Where I am in life now, if the man has to frequently get his tires rotated and not practice a life of discipline, then he can be my guest and do what he needs to do independent of me. Moreover, my grandmother used to say in all your pleasing of your flesh, outside the covenant of God's blessings, if Jesus was to return, can he say, "Well done." Remember, our actions will show up in our lives at some point. I don't owe anyone anything anymore but to plesse God. God's man will understand the need for us to wait. I definitely agree with being friends first. Stephan, I am free at this juncture in my life. Others have to generate what is best for them. I choose to plesse God. Period.
This video is on point and every mistake I just made. 😢
I'm actually more spiritual than religious , but have chosen to be celibate/abstinent since my last relationship that ended about 3 years ago. My life has been a lot more simple, maybe because I also haven't even been attracted to anyone so that made it easier. However that has changed recently , hence why I sought out this video for some advice from a male perspective. This has been very helpful. While I feel like I have done enough healing to know the why in my celibacy beyond the past hurt, I find myself wanting to tell him upfront so we don't waste anyone's time. But you are right, that is coming from a place of past hurt. I know I have avoidant attachment so I'm aware this is perhaps me pushing it away or sabotaging something that actually might be very good for me. So I know what I need to work on truly letting go before really pursuing this new person . I have a feeling he would wait though, we seem to have a lot of the same values. This approach in dating & relationships is all very new to me so I appreciate this very much. Thank you.
Great video!
27:50 - why don’t you agree with test drive mindset?
Thank you ❤ because it doesn’t truly show if this is the person who can be with long term
Great point, I agree tbh
To me..from my past exoerience a few years ago.. Better Help is for people whom do not have anyone else to talk to, and struggle with spirituality, self journaling, and etc. I did not have that issue, so I did not use their services for even an entire month. Kudos to those who really need that and etc.
***experience
I'm a new subcriber, and I love Stephans sense of humour. I smile whenever he laughs while sharing these topics with us 😃
I enjoy your videos too, you said it well in this video, but I learnt recently that some men who aren't genuine with a woman will make her believe that they respect her choice by not asking for sex again in the relationship, meanwhile they get sex somewhere else. So because he doesn't ask for it again and again, the lady will now feel that the man is the right choice unfortunately sometimes it is late to learn that she actually married a "public manhvvd" and not what you think you had.
Sometimes it may be hard for women who don't want sex before marriage
I believe your intuition will tell you that something is off.
I’m not sure if kissing is okay if you’re trying to live in abstinence. Also, you have to be intentional about dating. Don’t place yourself in compromising situations. Bro. Stephan, you said it all in this video. Not much to comment. I believe in waiting until marriage. Thank you!
Stephan, thank you so much for all the advise you give to women. We need it! Keep it going 👏🏼
I’m wondering about “Friends with stated interest”: what does this look like? Perhaps a topic for another video? 😊 Thank you & may God Bless you.
I appreciate this video but I actually went on a date with a guy and he spent a lot of money on the date and he assumed sex went with the costly date. So I tell the man upfront, if you spend a lot of money or a little money, we not having sex. Don’t assume that from me because you spend a lot of money on me. These men believe that spending money leads to having sex. It a defense mechanism because these men are predators.
Thank you.
My pleasure 🙏
Great topic & video! 💯👏🏼❤️
I’ve never… I choose to wait till marriage.
Even as a believer, I know the temptation is there for many.
Desire or lust is real.
No one is perfect.
My reasons for waiting are…
* It’s in God’s Holy Word to wait.
* I don’t want to freely give that away to just any man.
* I want to set an example for my nieces & nephews, my younger cousins, my siblings & for my future kids.
* For my future husband, ( whoever the godly man God has created for me for my future, my forever love)
I want him to be the only man I allow to touch me in that way…to give myself freely & fully to him.
* I don’t want to play house; play marriage.
I know the right man will understand my reasons for saving myself till marriage.
( I don’t care what people say about me about my reasons…
I’ve been called some crazy things…)
This is how “I” choose to live my life!
I needed to see this. I am in this situation right now. Because I am developing feelings. It’s getting hard for me to remain in the friend zone that I put in place. It’s crazy 😂. The connection is so strong. I want to believe he is my person.
@ so far he has been really patient with me. We are attracted to each other, but I don’t want him to get to comfortable in the friend zone. Because I don’t want to stay there forever. Oh I forgot to mention. I am also going through a divorce. Makes things tricky because we both have the fear of TMH in us.
@@favoredhandsofjudah4932 I don't condone divorce but I hope God gives you clarity. I understand every situation is different.
Stephan, I definitely have to fit into a size 2 again.
Not in all cases..For example I am abstinent because I am not physically with my desired mate..Now after we are closer and we choose to do otherwise, then that would be our business, but some people like myself do not want to be just giving their goodies away to the wrong man. It is supposed to be a very sacred event between two consenting people..not with just anyone.
Thank you for everything you do for us Stephan. There is one request I have; could you please make a video about people who like you but are reserved/slightly cold and people who don't really like you but are polite and would not tell you straight away. I know you discuss relationships, but sometimes I find myself completely lost even when it comes to everyday interactions with people as well.
Happy Christmas and thank you😊❤❤
I watch all your videos, in general. I literally watched this 30 min AFTER I told the guy 😂. Idk how that happened that way but we'll see where it goes.
Is someone peeling onions?! Dunno y I cried thru this whole thing… WOW I didn’t realize how important my celibacy means to me. Going thru this now. In my faith s3x is marriage as the Bible teaches….
Me personally..I never told my person that I was exactly waiting until marraige. I said I was abstinent until we were together. We are already married in spirit, so...
Connection AND compatibility (:
what God wants will be good 🙏
I have heard other coaches say that if it's possible, it's best to mention it once you know a man loves you because it's too easy for them to let you go before they catch feelings. Once they see your value and love you, they may be more able to feel like they can and should make the sacrifice for you. This is easier when it's a man that you've known for awhile before you start dating. I think it's harder if it's someone you start dating right after meeting them because you will have to cultivate a relationship for a bit before they will feel love for you. All these things take time for him to feel love for you. Be selective with men.
I am.🙋🏾♀️☀️🤭
🙏❤️
You lost your train of thought after talking about waiting..🤣🤣🤣That was funny.
Waiting is good until marriage
Never.
💯
Does this go for virgins too
I’m doing what the Bible says PERIODT💯‼️ A real Godly man that’s submitted to God will be in line with what the Bible says! It’s nonnegotiable GOD TRUMP ALL!
If he can’t respect my Christian values & standards, he’s NOT the one for me
Just WAIT.
Thank u been abstained from sex for so many years because it’s a good way 1st to hear clearly from God and 2nd u get to know who u are and the friend u are with young or older but for me younger😂 this just me I tell them in a friendly conversation right from the start which gives them the opportunity to run or stay this works for me!!! And yes some do stay❤ and some don’t which is good either way!!!
Late dates is not a bad idea to me, because personally that may have been a better time for her. She did not make the first move according to you..the man "assumed" she wanted the moves put on her while watching the movie. She could have been just testing to see what he would try to do. Hopefully my person is not still out here dating after making me an offer, because we are long distance. All he has to do is gap that if he is really serious. I don't entertain other guys like that.
If a person is abstinent it is easier to Not date. Save yourself and the other person the stresses that come along with explaining your reasoning. Be happy within yourself. Cause for many sex is core. Single or engaged.
Happy Friday, Sir. I'm getting my Salt N Pepa on. 🗣🎤🎶🎶Let's talk about sex baby‼️💃🏽🕺🏽😁
My fiance broke up with me can I consult with you ? 😢 I need help
Ladies! Its the holidays. A lot of men are yearning for love around this time. Ask yourself, where was he the other 11 months? 😂
Stephan yes ,lets talk about SEX ,you mentioned that " maybe he is trying to take hos time " ladies if ever you encounter such ,be mindfull
he is an extremely speical guy
Dating is dangerous 🎉
What if you are so traumatized that you don’t ever want to get married again, but also so traumatized that you don’t want to have sex outside marriage 😂
Fix your trauma.
What about a virgin???? Like danm everybody celibate & abstinent but not a virgin to avoid those??
Lets talk about sex baby! Let's talk about you and me!🤦🏽♀️ 😂😂This was a great video! I love love love 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏽💚
I never understood howen can run through as many women as he wants and is considered clean for marriage at any point. Women need to have a low body count. 😳
Because men dont catch feelings the same as women, you're looking through a lens where you perceive men and women to be the same yet we are totally different.
Men are happy with the arrangement of being used for s3x but women are not, this is one example.
Men do not produce the same pair bonding chemicals as women do during s3x, this is 2, i can keep listing the differences between us but until ypu open your mind to the fact that we are different there is no point.
Great topic! When you refrain from having sex when getting to know someone, your just preserving yourself for someone who is hopefully wanting to invest into you because they see value in you aside from sex. Sex is great, one of the best thing s ever, but should be with someone who cares about you more than just that. We are much more than a tool. Don't be fooled. If someone values you and is interested in your mind, your spirit, and the whole vessel of you, and honor your value,they will wait until marriage. Once you mutually meet each others criteria and feel you cant wait for a sexual connection,then it's time to seal the deal and get married. Life isn't complicated, people are. Be honest with your self and walk in your truth, walk by faith and not be sight. Whatever God has designed for you is yours. Dont give yourself to every applicant that applies to play a role in yourself. Trust the process & wait for your blessing and know that you are a blessing 💪
Sex is important in a relationship, but before that the communication and their actions is what you have to appreciate and cherish one another before having sex with each other or make love❤
God has a lot to say about sex. Everything He tells us about sex is for our own good. I believe God. Is it easy to walk that path?? Absolutely NOT. The struggle IS real. Right now I feel "safe" because I'm not dating anyone. The real test begins when I start dating again and actually fall in love. I'm also believing God that my person will have the same mindset as far as wanting to wait. If not then, I guess that's not my person. I totally agree with you about having parameters/safeguards in place so you won't be in compromising positions and/or situations. I also agree that you don't have to announce your intentions either. It's unfortunate that some men project that sex is bad or non existent after marriage but somehow sex is all that and a bag of chips when your promiscuous. That ain't nothing but the devil spewing that nonsense and people be believing it too. The devil hates love and marriage. Of course he's going to give it a negative connotation and try to convince people think that they're missing out on something. They're missing out on something alright: heartbreak, soul ties, STD's regret, guilt, shame, comparisons, confusion, etc. I'll gladly miss out on that! I need all the clarity I can get! I think there's value in being disciplined. To me that's the "real" high-value. not money but denying your flesh and honoring God with your body. It shows obedience, self-control and strength which to me in the long run builds trust, loyalty, respect etc. Last, I believe that God will bless, honor and reward couples and give them the desires and pleasures of their heart!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Goodness gracious ,telling a man you are ABSTANANT , if he is a Caribbean man am sure this will be a hudge NO
unless he has an ED problem ,trust me
Not unless he really likes you
Don’t tease men, tell them right away so no time is wasted …..if he doesn’t want to wait …..it’s ok ladies, he’s of the devil anyway if he doesn’t wait ….God wants us all to wait till marriage.
No do not tease these men
Just in time. Amen. 🤍
With *all* *due* *respect* Stephan 🫡 IMO you can skip all that 🙂↔️
Simply proclaim that waiting till marriage, AIN’T FOR AVERAGE people 🙄 uhg.
So, *less* you can match my self control, of one of those Royal Soldiers 💂with the funny hats; then, go ahead and move onto the next and keep *breaking* *your* *own* *heart* ❤️🩹🤡💔 the next ex-wife 💸