Eventually you get used to it, I haven't received an hug in like 3 years or even more, loneliness is my day to day, I just accept it and keep going. Study, Wotkout, Job, myself, loneliness is my nemesis and friend.
Sorry, but it’s been my experience and observations that when we do show vulnerability it becomes an immediate turn off to women. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
Women test you when you show weakness but it’s a biological thing. Don’t fall apart with your lady, that is a guarantee she’ll start looking for other stronger men. You don’t have to ignore pain and shit that happened to you BUT do so with a therapist or another guy you trust. Look for advice to make you stronger. Women don’t like mentally weak men. The only ones who do are test pilots at broom factories
As much as loneliness sucks, I have learned the hard way that there are far worse things than being alone. Like the late Robin Williams said (miss that man): "The worst thing is being with people who make you feel alone."
@@brando7266 when my son turns 18 I will get my freedom back. I can move back to Europe and get a dog. MGTOW + Vasectomy is the only way today. Especially if you're a high value man and women are openly looking for an ex-husband before she even meets the man. The more wealth a man has the more women will want to take it from you. Don't you know, you can talk about male suicide. Only women are victims.
@@iancarisi8342 18? I had to pay till 21,and half of college costs,but at least my sons show proper respect to me,( for overpaying all those yrs,),and it's only getting worse for guys,,( divorced dads) the system is too broken, it heavily favors the mothers too much,,
Loneliness is different for men and women, I’m not going to lie I feel very alone, but I am a strong willed man. When my brother passed away, no one really came to see if I was ok, but I watched everyone check in on my sister daily if not weekly. I don’t know if it was because everyone assumed that I was ok or because I was a man. But it truly made me realize that I was alone in life, the only person who actually asked me how I was doing was a 19 year old coworker whom I rarely work with since we work different work shifts. That little gesture of kindness of him asking me how I was doing made the whole world to me and it surprised the heck out of me. Not even my closest friends reached out like that, not sure why but I won’t lie and say that it didn’t bother me. It changed my whole perspective of how men and women work with their relationships. Regardless, listen up, boys. You are the captain of your own ship, do not expect help but appreciate any given to you. There will be ups and downs, always keep your head up high and don’t allow your spirit to break, go get it, boys. 💪🏻
Men are just expected to internalize things. Why do you think men have anger issues and commit suicide. I don't think society truly knows or maybe just doesn't care how much men suffer.
@@mohanbabu908 Agreed, everyone probably thought that I’d be alright and even though they were right, it still feels good to know that people care by showing some kind of support.
@@kozakmw88 I hate to say that I agree, but I really do. I feel as the perception of men’s mental health is really a joke. All these school shootings are unhappy men without guidance or love taking it out on society. It’s time for a change.
Speaking as a 46 year old introvert who has never been married, lives alone, no children, and hasn't seriously dated anyone in eight years, I'm not gonna lie but loneliness does grip me from time to time. My inner circle at work and especially my small group that I meet with at church once a week continuously give me reassurance that there are people out there who have demonstrated that I'm special to them and that we need each other. It's those little things I'm thankful for each day.
It advantage of being single din"t spend on dates & woman ;; guys have talk& look at woman cashier ; waitress coworkers etc etc as long as men is willing to play the stud / one night stand game; pretty woman sex can be like a ❤️/ lust drug ; men become obsess with a one night stand sex partner
My GF told me she liked it when i expressed myself and show my emotional side. It was great. Till she out of the blue dumped be for another guy that puts up a tough front.... You say that the problem is that we dont show emotion or connect with people on a deeper level. But in a vast majority of cases when we do that itself IS the problem. Woman never want anything to do with that in their guys. And that is the primary reason we have adopted the policy of never doing that, despite how much we want to.
There are differences between being an unemotional tough guy, an emotional whiner, and an honest, caring man. Evaluate your character, and if you fall in the latter category and the woman can't see the difference ... you have lost nothing.
Men and or people in general that are so called, "lonely", need to get out more and or find a hobby or what it is that will take them away from such a state of mind. Loneliness should NEVER exist with people. Loneliness starts from within. Something is lacking inside that compels such a feeling.
Big sis Courtney is back! But in all seriousness, So true. It's a shame that men have it rough, but nobody wants to talk about it because of the negative stereotype that we got through. Hell, male loneliness is played for laughs. Like how is a man breaking down funny? Fucking cruel, fam.
I hear ya - The Dre Day Show! Great tips - by Courtney! And speaking of “Loneliness…” and leading to Depression. The “Best Thing” to do: is to get out of your head… it doesn’t do you any good! Whatever you’re going through - trust me! There are millions of people that are going through worse. When you start thinking about that - all of a sudden, your problem doesn’t seem as bad. What I found caused most of my Depression were Negative Thoughts: thinking about the Past (which I can’t change); thinking about the Future (which hasn’t happened yet); or the Present (all the struggles I’m going through). When I started letting go of all that, and just focus on the “Present”, and what I need to do - to start bettering my life - everything changed! Cheers! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
This girl actually lives in Dreamland. The moment you show vulnerability, your woman looks down on you and she'll seek your replacement. It is my experience. Ten years later I'm still alone.
You just met the wrong woman, not everyone you lose is a loss, good riddance, you’ll meet a better woman, work on yourself, put yourself out there and at the right time you will find her and she won’t run away the minute you become vulnerable
Nope this man is right you can’t show them any weakness they can complain about they’re life and job all the time but the first time you actually try to talk to your girlfriend thinking she is your friend will be your last. Experience leads to predictability
@@Jeansoverslacks yall hanging out with women who have zero interest in yall, a proper woman is gonna hold you down, care about your mental health, one bad experience and y’all are now generalising all women
There's a difference between vulnerability from a positive and proactive standpoint vs. whining and acting like a victim. The latter is not attractive for either gender.
"Pay someone to talk to is sad..." And it is a reality for many of us men. If you don´t have enough money, if you are not handsome enough, if you don´t have enough material stuff, a good car, a good house, a good job...if we are no one, no one pays atttention. We have been taught that we have to work hard to achieve much and then we will be considered valuable, speciall for women. Society, women included, don´t want vulnerable men, and society expect us to keep going, to prettend we have everything under control, no matter how we feel. And if we try to connect with people, other men and women in general disqualify us. Women get to choose, i get it, and is fair. But society now has make it even more difficult, by pointing that men in general are bad, toxic, negative, etc. So...yes, so sad. But most of us will have to endure it all with no help. No one has the obligation to be with us. No one has the obligation to accept our company. And most of us have to swallow that reality.
Once upon a time industrial society used to provide many opportunities for men to have connections, motorcycles and car repair, sports and social clubs - the union, the Friday Pub night and in and out of the workplace training and interwork interactions. The destruction of industry (the rust belt) and the crushing of the traditional white working-class together with neo lib brutality in terms of work programs have left men disorganised and fractured and unemployed. Women's traditional employment was less affected by the west industrial decline. Men are slowly starting to form networks different to the past but it is a whole new learning and reorganisation project. Unfortunately, the coming office automation drive and the use of AI in the medical area will do the same to women's jobs as was done to men. I would expect women's isolation to increase as a result. It was the employment and the work interactions that drove social engagement - despite work being sucky it does provide the defacto social need. I wouldn't just blame men for the situation that men's mental health is in today, I would look back to the industrial past.
"Acting OK when you are not". Any man who has ever showed weakness know NEVER TO SHOW WEAKNESS. Nothing is more despised by women than weakness in a man.
@@motsepethompson1118 Its not fake, if you are weak you cannot have a quality woman. Its not the end of the world, 90% of men have no woman or a nasty one. Lots of homeless bums still enjoy their lives.
@@motsepethompson1118 Wait, you are a woman, what is hard about a woman's life? All you have to do is ignore your urge to chase the worst thugs and life is gravy. I am seriously curious about what women find hard about life?
@@ldn0224 I refuse personally. I refuse to pretend to be tough to meet some bogus societal standard, and I have every intention of forcing society to drop that standard, no matter the cost; human lives, human suffering, personal loss, I don't care. I destroy what I hate, and lately I have realized there is little I hate more than the mask of fake masculinity I am forced to wear by this broken and messed up society.
This video made me reflect on my interactions with women over the past 10 years (I am currently 30 and relentlessly single). Now that I think about it, if and when females were attracted to me (which wasn't often mind you), it was only when I was mysterious and silent before they got to know me. After I began to open up and share my thoughts and emotions, however, is when each of these girls suddenly started ghosting me or losing interest in me, even to the extent of being rude to me in later interactions. I'm a genuine and well-spoken person, so it's easy for me to communicate my feelings, which I thought women appreciated, but it's always after I let girls in a little that they bail. This has been tremendously painful to me over the years to the point that, despite having intense desires for a wife to cherish, I almost prefer to stay single. It hurts even more when females express that they have no time for me because they're busy, yet I later discover they're out with other guys like they have all the time in the world... that part hurts so much. I truly feel unwanted. On the other hand, the women who HAVE shown interest after getting to know me have always been 40+ years old, married/divorced, and have at least two kids who are teenagers, which tells me my personality and values are only appealing to women who have already "had their fun" and prefer a good, mature guy now - the last resort. That's not how I want to be ranked on the scale of desirability. Gay guys are attracted to me, though, which doesn't help me because I'm straight as an arrow. I've been hit on by more guys than girls in my adult life, which just adds to my sadness and confusion. The feelings of hopelessness and depression are crushing on a daily basis, and it doesn't matter to anyone.
I don't hate gay guys but it always gives me a sting when a couple or few gays try to message you in a dating app but when you finally text to a girl there and they show interest, they stop texting and tell you they're busy. Girls get turned off so fucking fast. I'm 23. Never been in a relationship b4
@@vintage_hart6392 I gave up on dating apps a few years ago - realized they’re a waste of time, energy, and emotions. I also realized I don’t really want the kind of girl who typically uses apps anyway. I totally agree on how easily girls get turned off and discard you; it’s maddening. Once again, that’s typical of the dating app girls, who have no problem treating guys like accessories because they get endless attention from all kinds of guys. I remember being 23 and alone as well. People say that’s too young to be feeling hopeless and that you have your whole life ahead of you, but those aren’t helpful words because you feel intense and hurtful loneliness every moment of every day. It’s not like you’re happy-go-lucky all the time just because you’re young. Life is longer when you’re lonely and all you want to do is share your life with a woman you love and cherish, so I sympathize with you for how you feel at your age. I can assure you the pain dulls a bit as you get older and you steadily stop seeing women as sources of happiness and simply as other people with their own problems just like you. The desire for a mate doesn’t go away, but you learn the reality that a woman is just as flawed and damaged as you because she’s also human, and that she’s not your trophy or a goddess to idolize. Stay away from that mindset and look to God instead to be your fulfillment.
I feel and share your pain my brother, as I have the same experience as a man in a world where women seem to love each other more than men. Men being so aggressive chasing men gives wenote power if choice in partners than any man can ever have. However, there is another problem working against men. Women as a whole, unlike men, have sexual attraction to each other. Just watch them more closely. They choose whether or not to act on this attraction.
This couldn't be any more true, being stuck with family members who'll try and control my life aspirations while misunderstanding me daily. Makes me want to debatably be more isolated once I move out than I am already.
@@dillonc7955 i made that mistake and youre letting bad behavior control you. Fix your behavior and set boundaries with everyine else. Anyone who disrespects you or your life, warn them and if it happens again cut em out. Youre teaching people how to treat you. But isolation isnt the greatest. Its a temporary, short term reliwf from a chaotic environment but let healthy people into your life.
I'm a 61 year old man that has spent 95% of my time alone over the last almost 8 years. I'm either in my semi truck or at my place. After 3 divorces I had just had enough. There is a bright spot though. The first 3-4 years were hell, but then I realized what I had been doing was healing from the divorces, childhood and generational traumas and really every poor decision I had ever made. I owned my role in each situation that I was responsible for, and forgave not only myself but anyone who had done me wrong. I'm still at it on a daily basis, but I feel much better about myself today. I do get lonely, but I have hope that will change!
@@stevensaleh6955 ...I've seen enough of the country, lol. I run four 15 hour days a week (Ag exempt), I'm home every night, months vacation a year and yes sir, the money is very good!
I think it goes even deeper than loneliness. I think a lot of men are struggling with depression. I mean let's face it many of us grow up without dads and have no idea what an ideal man is. Then society tells us grow the fuck up. Okay tell me how. We only know what we were taught in high school following the celebs that to be successful, you gotta be good looking, you need to own stuff, and nice guys finish last. And on top of it all your measure among peers is how many girls you could sleep with. While at the same time society constantly reminds us that we are "stupid", "physical abusers", "sexual predators", and "oppressors". It was a recipe for disaster since the beginning. It turns out if you tell a group of people that they are terrible people they start to believe it. The sad truth is. A lot of us don't even know what being a man really means anymore. Before it meant we would be strong protectors, leaders, and breadwinners. But, that all changed with society. I didn't grow up with my dad. Now I have a daughter that I love and cherish. But, I have no idea what to do. I have no idea how to show her what a real man is because I don't know myself. "Be a man" it's one of the most insulting and aggraving things to hear come out of a woman's mouth. Because it's not only said in ignorance - do they even know? But, it's often said to win arguments and be manipulative. It's not to down women, but I want them to honestly tell me what it truly means to "be a man". Because it's no longer leadership and breadwinning are qualities to be shared and protectors are seen as violent. I as a man can never tell a woman to "woman up". I don't know what it means to be a woman because I am not a woman. I would never tell someone to be something that I have no idea what it means to be. In short a lot of us is lost. Having a dad in our lives isn't assumed it's a privilege. All I can do for my daughter is try my best. I don't know if it will be good enough.
Well said. I always have an issue with all those "control the man" sayings. "Be a man", or "man up", or "real man", etc. I went to university and the feminist politics was absolutely disgusting. I made official complaints about it.
Spot on - not to mention the confusing things given to men like 'It's ok to be vulnerable' , 'girls like quiet, emotional men' and 'masculinity is toxic, be more female'
I've grown with my dad but that was pretty much the transport -> job -> eat -> TV -> sleep -> go again routine. I learned and still learn what is to be a "man" today at 27. I think that fighting is the answer, not physically (still, going to gym doesn't do anything wrong to you. Personally, it helps me with mood swings and gives me energy) but fighting for your ideals, against your fears, your anxiety. In my early 20's, I was looking for girlfriend but as time passes, seing other couples fed me up (eh, I never even saw my parents kissing once) and convinced me that my goals aren't here. Maybe one day I will have a woman in my life, maybe not, as time passes it becomes less and less relevant to me. To sum up, fight, fight as much as you can, try things so you don't regret anything.
@@sourcilavise3788 My dad was a good man, but not useful when it came to women. I don't really blame him, he was married just before feminism got really out of hand. He still believes women are these sweet loving tradwife angels.
Being a high-functioning autistic, my whole life has been mostly dealing with loneliness. Not many people talk to me, I've got few relatable interests, I'm never really good at small talk, and I've come off, at best, as weird and ridiculous to others while trying to fit in. There's really nothing more showing about loneliness exactly like in this video than having autism.
@@rtcrump0079 I don't have autism but I'll be honest I've never been the best at socializing unfortunately. Most of the time I have no idea what to say so I just sit there and listen. At least it's a good thing on dates but other than that I don't talk much. Just work, hit the gym to build my Zyzz aesthetic physique and that's it.
Mens health and wellbeing has generally been overlooked and forgotten in the last few decades. Society still feels it as a taboo to acknowledge that it's going on and if men do admit it, they often are looked down on. So a downward spiral they go.
That's their choice. I care about myself. Y'all guys should too. At the end of every day, partner, roomies, parents or whatever, you only have yourself. Everyone else becomes a bonus
I really appreciate this video. My wife and best friend passed away after a 6 year battle with cancer. Loneliness is devastating and such a quiet struggle. No one even notices, especially in men. Thank you for making this video. Gives me a little hope. If you know someone struggling, don’t try to fix them. Just don’t let them feel alone.
Yes! Me too. My loneliness is entirely about being permanently and painfully without my wife, who passed away, who passed on July 30, 2023. I wasn't sure if this topic only covered those men who have severe dating and/or relationship challenges. Then I saw your comment.
Loneliness is one thing I indeed struggle with, and even isolation! What's helped me since relocating last year was I got into martial arts and it helped that one of my instructors is in the military, as I once served myself! From there, I started growing my pool of new people. I still talk to my mentors about things like these to this day! I hope this helps
@@ghosttheprogram6973 I thought it was rather self-explanatory. As the person most scapegoated= least economically independent in my family of origin I felt conditioned to be a people-pleaser or I would be punished. I felt I had no other choice than to stay as far away from other people as I could. I could not handle the level of responsibility they assumed I could simply by virtue of my physical age. I was an emotional and psychological burnout at the age of 5.I was constantly stressed out. I had to get away from as many people as possible and especially those unsafe people who would use or manipulate me for their own gain without my conscious awareness.
@@raularmas317 I meant why you feel insulation is a better fit than inoculation 😂 But mehn you had it tough But I don't think actively trying hard to avoid people is the best solution
Connection doesn't necessarily mean a relationship - as an old guy, I can tell you that being married to the wrong person was also the only time in my life I felt lonely. Now being single, I've never felt lonely as I have my friends and family back.
@@Syncrotron9001 BPD, bipolar and the cluster B spectrum mostly result in children being ignored in their first three years of life - and always feeling abandoned. It'll be on the rise since kids are more about status now than our next generation.
Just curious: how many women have had good friendships with nice guys who obviously had a crush, but didn't pursue it because you didn't want to ruin the friendship? How many nice guys have regularly, or even always, found themselves in this position? How long before those friendships faded? I've been reading a lot of things that say women are getting pickier, looking for emotionally available men who can and want to communicate. If that's the case, why do I still feel like nice guys finish last, and I really hope there's something I'm missing when I hear about guys like Nick Cannon?
Women who are "just friends" with guys are not really "friends." Those women are egotistical narcissists. They will stab you in the back. They are dead wood in your boat. Throw them overboard.
Nice guys don't finish last, they never get to start. The nice guy ends up being the step daddy simp for another man's kids and getting the woman that's past her prime, bitter as hell and ran through. Being nice to a woman will tell her that you're weak and expendable. They don't think or process information like men do. All secrets to how women operate have been unlocked thanks to the Internet and video hosting sites like this one.
To be honest, she is doing it for the views and for the money. She talks about wanting a community here on UA-cam. What exactly does that mean? Comments. She wants more people to comment, because that is what boosts the youtube algorithm. If more people comment on her videos, she gets more attention, views and money. This is a business for her first and foremost. Remember this.
It is a shame how this stuff doesn't get talked about as much. People don't seem to care much about men these days. Women even perpetuate damaging stereotypes of men, thinking men are valued more, and that they don't need to look out for as much.
@@Syncrotron9001 depends on what you mean. If you mean relationships, it could be either. If you mean with friends, it's part of society. I have an ok amount of friends, but only one I can actually talk about tough things with because it's too much "we're guys and we just BS" with the others.
Im 22 years old and just fully realizing what it means to be a man. It is a tough, lonely exisistance and really society has no answer. Purposlessness in a feminine society that doesnt appreciate us or our masculine attributes. Working out in the sunshine doing hard yakka helps, doing martial arts or hobbies are great. Everyone says "just talk about it" always women say this, but like many others as soon as i open up the girl leaves without a second thought. Im good at talking to people and get a few girls a year but shit its hard. Shallow, meaningless relationships are the norm now and the deep ones we have we are seperated by distance or by the online games everyone plays. I am working to get better, but starting late is fucking hard. Stay strong lads, suicide isnt the option to fix it, self improvement is.
Coming out of a 7 year relationship this has been the biggest hurdle. I've done my healing and moving on but I can't shake the feeling of lonliness. Going from talking, listening to and loving someone ever day to well nothing has been jarring to say the least. She cheated so that only made it worse I feel like. This video helped though didnt realise it was such a common issue. Gives a guy hope
Bro, I know what you mean. It’s tough trying to figure out what to do with yourself after you’ve become accustomed to dedicating your life to someone else. I guess we need to find new hobbies that aren’t such solitary time consumers.
Loneliness is truly one of the most difficult things someone can experience. Life is pretty simple, people just need a little bit of love and connection.
Loneliness is difficult at first, but once youve been alone for long enough, a switch flips, at least for me it did. I got over it, and now I truly enjoy being alone. To the point where I have people I can hang out with but choose not to. Its a mental game, but im sure not everyone feels this way. I got over it after 4 years alone. Had my last relationship when I was 18, Im 26 now and the happiest ive ever been.
The best advice that I can give young men struggling with loneliness in general: It is VERY important that you get a creative hobby, not watching football or things like that, but something that enables you to transfer your deepest thoughts and feelings into what you create, like music, lyrics, art or wood working etc. etc. It has a therapeutic effect like nothing else. Trust me, it will calm your nerves and open doors for you in so many ways, also socially :)
I know I’ve struggled with this, and still do to this day. As a single male of 38 years, I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older and my friends have gotten married and have kids, I get less and less time with the friendships I’ve had over the years. It’s gotten to the point where I just go to work and then go home to spend time with my dog, who’s my best friend. Sadly, he’s also been diagnosed with an aggressive and malignant form of melanoma. They told me I’ll have 1-5 months with him if I do nothing, or maybe a year if I put him through tons of surgeries, X-rays, chemo, melanoma vaccines, more testing, etc. It would be selfish of me to put my best friend through all of that for an extra 6 months or so, and they wouldn’t be quality months, for him. So I’ve chosen to do nothing and just love him as much as possible and cherish my time with him. As of June 1st, it’s been 7 months and he’s still going strong and showing no signs of anything being wrong. I’m hoping the doctors got it all during the first surgery and are wrong with their prognosis…but when that day does come, I’m going to be completely alone. My best friends have moved out of state, and my current used-to-be best friend has recently gotten married and I never see him anymore. I bring it up to him in a joking manner, but nothing changes. We’ll make plans for weeks in advance to hang out, and he’ll back out last minute. It really sucks. Also, when he was dating his girl, she started texting me and messaging me in ways that made me feel uncomfortable. I guess he and she were going through a rough patch at that time, which I didn’t know, but the way she was messaging me and sending me certain emojis just felt more than being friendly. I didn’t say anything to him at first, because you can’t unring that bell, but they broke up, so I told him and showed him the texts. I never responded back to her in the way she was texting. I’d even bring up his name multiple times in my texts, because it felt awkward. They were broken up for about a week or two. He told me how much he appreciated me and that me being the person I am is why he loves me, but he also said he didn’t want me talking to her anymore. I told him I had no interest. Then they got back together a week or so later. So then there’s this dynamic where I can’t even hang out with my best friend because of the drama that happened between the three of us. So he basically had to choose hanging out with her, or me. They’re now married, and I was in the wedding…my first time seeing her or speaking to her since all that went down. But now he’s always with her and I can’t even get to see somebody who used to be a best friend. Compound that with the fact that my ex girlfriend used to be my next-door neighbor. She had three kids and couldn’t have more, and that was always something I wanted for myself- to be a father and carry on my family name, as I’m the last in line. That definitely puts pressure on me and I know how badly my parents want grandkids, and I want kids for myself. Me ex got mad at me because she said I was “just interested in sex and playing around because we weren’t engaged or living together after a year”. Mind you that I wanted to take my time and figure out if it’s right for me because she had three kids and I definitely didn’t want to rush things if it wasn’t right for me. I had to determine if I was willing to give up something I’ve wanted all my life, and if my life with her would be worth it. She would try to guilt me in that way or claim I just wanted sex when I would always do nice things for her, do my yard work and then go next door and do hers, I’d do fun things with the kids and take them to the movies, the zoo, the aquarium, I paid for her boys to play football and for her daughter to go to a JoJo Siwa concert, etc. I helped her with her bills, kept the electricity on so the kids wouldn’t be without, paid a rent a center bill so the kids wouldn’t lose their beds, paid to help get her van out of repo, etc. Basically she saw me as a means to an end because I was stable, had a good job and good money. She saw me as somebody who could take care of her, her three kids and her poor choices. But because we weren’t engaged or living together, she used that as a justification to lie to my face, go behind my back and start sleeping with other men. I paid for her boys to play football…she slept with their coach, then lied to me about it when she got home and was beaten up a bit. She said she was out with the football moms, they had too much to drink and a fight broke out. Nope, his wife caught them and beat her up. Living next to her was the worst kind of hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Once I found out about the infidelity, I had to watch as different random guys she just met would come over and spend the night. She was with 6 guys in about 13 months, and there was no way for me to avoid seeing it. She figured if she could give up her body, then maybe some guy will stick around and take care of her. I pity her, but she’s not my problem anymore. I did move away from there and bought a new house, which has been great for my mental state. I never intended to commit suicide, but being in that situation and not being able to escape my own personal hell, those thoughts started entering my mind. Again, no intentions of doing anything, but those thoughts in my head was something I didn’t like at all. When I moved out, she had even turned the kids against me. The kids I was contemplating taking on as my own and giving up a life where I could father my own children…now wouldn’t look at me or even talk to me. I left them a goodbye note in her driveway with their sidewalk chalk, telling them how much I loved them and that I’d always keep them in my heart and my mind. It was purely evil what she did to me. So now I’m in a better place, but still feeling completely alone. I’m a quiet introvert who doesn’t enjoy the bar/club scene. I do work out a lot, but girls in the gym usually have headphones in and don’t want to be bothered. I’ve tried online dating, but I haven’t really found what I’m looking for, and haven’t had a good match yet. It’s a bit disheartening. I work in a field where I don’t get much human interaction (BMW Master tech of 15 years), so meeting women through work is hard. We have a newer woman in sales who I like a lot. She’s super nice, gorgeous, interesting, kind-hearted, etc…but I’ve heard she doesn’t like to date people from work. (I kind of asked another worker to put in a good word for me). Whether or not she truly means that or she just isn’t interested in anyone at work (not sure if she knew I was the one interested) I don’t truly know. So that was a bit of a gut punch, since she’s the first girl I’ve really been interested in since having my heart ripped out. I’ve still been going up and talking with her, making excuses to go up front to sales to steal away a few minutes of time with her, hoping to build some sort of friendship that can become more. Kind of has me stuck in the middle of wanting to be more and asking her out, or does that make me an ass for not respecting her boundaries of not wanting to date anyone from work. Haha who knows at this point. I’m not trying to force anything, but I’m hopeful, regardless. And we’re a big enough place where the two different departments don’t really have a lot of interactions, so it’s not like we see each other all the time…so if we just didn’t hit it off for whatever reason, it wouldn’t be super awkward. As for now, I guess I’m just going to enjoy whatever time I’m lucky enough to have with my wrinkly, furry best friend. My sweet bulldog, Diesel. But yes, many of us men feel this kind of loneliness that can be debilitating and lead you to dark times. Sorry for the long comment. I don’t expect anybody to read or reply. Maybe it’s just cathartic letting it out and venting a bit.
@@smileyglitter852 thank you for that! I hope you find somebody special as well, or hold onto that person if you’ve already found them. I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness you deserve.
Nah, losing the person you love most is far worse... you can always leave a person that makes you feel alone, but you can't get back a love that no longer exist
Loneliness is terrible because when you're in it, the tendency is to keep isolating yourself. It's a legitimate health concern. The irony of it is just how well connected this world is. Thank you for covering this topic Courtney. This channel is evolving very nicely.
My opinion: A person cannot speak on a topic that hasn't experienced it. There's no credability. As a Divorcee lonelyness is a real topic with Men but I found a way to master it and it's probably the only way we as men can solve this issue. It's to help out another guy who is lonely, be there for him. :Hows it going man, hang in there you are doing great! Keep trying you will get there....Most men aren't even getting those messages from their spouses! If we all did that for one guy without expecting anything in return it will be a better place. Some of us just need that bit of encouragement or to know that someone really cares!
Totally agree with you, despite that I like Courtney's videos, and I deeply appreciate that she raises this really overlooked topic, but young attractive woman, living in densely populated area can't for real know what loneliness really is.
Did you even watch the video? She said that she had struggles with being alone and meeting people. She decided to take action, step out of her comfort zone and make connections. It's on you to improve your station in life, no matter how challenging it is.
Excellent response. That's what a true friend, a real man does. Do something to lift another up, without expecting anything in return. I believe God shows the thumbs up on such actions. Also charity helps too. Very positive. Peace
If you have the extra time to do it pick up a second job that makes you interact with people. When I was in school I worked two part-time jobs as an Uber driver and bartender. I was an introvert with no social skills but those side gigs really helped sharpen me up and become a lot more outgoing, and I still meet up with the regulars now and again. Socializing feels completely natural now, compared to what it used to be for me
Had that 2nd job was sexually assaulted by a woman I had just saved her life. Found out my boss hired her to sexually assault me. You cannot make this up
The problem with loneliness is that it doesn't really have a solution. You can't force women to be partners with these men nor can you force the man to change everything about his personality just to suit other people.
Your partly right you can only change if you want to change. Most men think they cant change but i call bullshit to that one. Its a matter if they really want to change.
Pretty much... The red pill act like any man can look max to the point they will become sexually attractive, or a man can change his personality and can become naturally funny to the point women can be attracted to him for it.. I would say the vast majority of men cannot change their looks to the point they will become sexually attractive to women by their looks only, and an even lesser percent of men can change their personality to the point they can develop a very attractive personality for females to get interested in them.. The black pill is going to become more and more common as the years go by once more and more men realize women are only truly sexually attracted to as little as 5% of men
Today I’m going to the super market and I’m going to buy myself a ton of chips. I’ll then drive around in my car. Next girl I see, I’m going to roll the window down and throw a bunch of crumbled chips at her. I’ll make sure it gets in her hair too. Then I’ll drive off and look for more women to throw chips at. I’ll even have a bag of tomatoes.
@@13abcde check out your city’s website, it should have local events on a calendar. Force yourself to attend social events. Use this to increase your conversational skills. It takes practice just like anything else.
I had a group of friends that had A LOT of sexual encounters in our late teens to mid 20's. I had one really young and never had any other sexual encounters until I was 25 and within one year had over half a dozen. I don't know what it was that suddenly made me attractive to women. But what I certainly know why I wasn't, was three things. 1. Putting women on a pedestal. Believing it's up to women to say if you're worthy or good looking enough and thinking all women find you attractive, so you put pressure on yourself. 2. Being non-approachable, always being in a tight unit of males... it's one thing to look tough to other groups of men, as you do when you're young. But girls just don't want to know. but also (as step 1.) thinking every opportunity to talk to a girl is all about sex and flirting and "does she fancy me". 3. Don't watch porn, don't follow women on insta just for eye candy... it's toxic, stay away and respect women.
You’re doing something so incredible for the people who need this advice just by offering it, and I’m grateful to know there are people like you out there helping them out. Much love ❤️
While I can't really get into my story here I'll just say that loneliness has taken me over, body and soul. There is no way out. It's a stigma too. Every time I try and bring it up with friends or family all they say is "you are not alone" or "suck it up" or "everything happens for a reason" and my personal favorite, "other people have it worse." None of that is helpful. It's dismissive and belittling. People have no sense of compassion or understanding. They don't want to hold the space and listen. It makes me feel so much worse. And more alone. I hate my life. I cry every single day and night. There's no hope and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm far away and isolated from everyone who cares (or used to care). There is no human connection in my life. Nothing meaningful anyway. I'm also dealing with a few physical problems too so getting around is hard. I'm usually too exhausted by the end of the day to want to do anything. I keep thinking back to when I was healthy, vibrant and involved in so many positive activities. I was always surrounded by people I love. I'm afraid I'll never get back to that. I feel like my heart has been killed off. It's really bad.
dude I feel my blood boil when people say everything happens for a reason. Uh no the fuck it don't. im sorry brother I deal with it as well. and it fucing sucks
I understand how you feel, it's like life loses it's purpose or something. I've cried so much over the years that tears don't even come out anymore... you just kinda lay there as your soul cries from within
@Stevo I feel the same way, but I have tried to kill myself and got scared... I realized I didn't want to die, just want to feel okay again. There's something in us that wants to keep going... guess that's hope 🤷🏽♂️
Hey Courtney…You are truly blessed to be able to have this channel to confront some of the issues that men have, especially coming from someone like me (a man) who has definitely dealt with all of this you are talking about in this video. It is a tragedy that we feel lonely and sometimes without purpose. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world and I combat it every day. Please continue to work hard to keep your channel speaking up and about things like these, I love your videos on the other subjects as well! 😊❤️
I think loneliness is exacerbated by modern tech. Online interactions trick you into thinking you're filling your social needs, when the hard truth is that we were wired for face-to-face personal interaction.
This is true and I think it tricks a lot of people on dating apps. Matches, chats and the notifications they bring seem to be fulfilling for many and so they lack the motivation to meet in person. I was fooled by chasing notifications at one point, in truth.
One of the hardest parts that wasnt mentioned is when you finally meet someone and are able to connect with them, unfortunately live happens, and you both go your separate ways. You lose a very close friend and are back to square one. But, I'm trying to fix that. I've definitely stepped out side my comfort zone this year, started taking dancing classes. I've meet some great people and it gives me something to look forward to 2x a week.
I feel you. That is the result of a broken heart. Sometimes I feel like I was better off by myself instead of surrounding myself with people who make you feel lonely in their company or they just turn their back on you. It hurts.
many times I have opened up to someone about something I’m vulnerable or sensitive about only for them to use it against you in an argument not long after. Experiencing things like that make you lose the willingness to trust people and open up to them about your vulnerabilities.
Thank you for addressing this issue. It is real and underestimated majorly... Loneliness can create some serious mental health problems for us. I've been dealing with it for almost 10 years now when I moved overseas from my hometown. I've found the solution that helps me through it is to find peace in solitude and balance in all things. Always practice gratitude and keep yourself away from negative thought. Because, who's going to pull you out when you drift to far? No one. Stay content, keep your morals strong always do the right thing and move with integrity. Find a productive hobby, workout or do some work. But don't let yourself go and never dwell into oblivion.
I’m lonelier now than ever and I’m now 300 pounds as a result of it. This video has played a part in realizing its up to me. Our lives are now. Thank you ma’am.
Good man! May I suggest you have a look at Andrew Huberman's great UA-cam presentations on how to boost your dopamine. They really changed my outlook and improved my life a lot. 2 years ago I had a head injury which caused a stroke. I was overweight and deeply depressed. Learning to adjust my own brain chemistry lead me to a level of happiness and health I couldn't have imagined a year ago.
#1 problem in my life right now. Remote work made it 5x worse too. It’s a horrible feeling. An empty pit in your stomach that eats you from the inside out. And there’s no easy way out of it. Not a feeling I’d wish on anyone. If anyone else is lonely, at least know you’re not the only one struggling
This is exactly how it's been for me too. I moved back in with my family because I couldn't handle the loneliness anymore. It was but a band-aid; However, I'm no longer in fear of doing something stupid.
I’m 38 with no living family members left. I’ve never been married. After my last relationship ended I’ve stayed single for 3 years now. I’m a tall wide shouldered cowboy type man and I have zero problems getting women to be attracted to me. The problem is ME. I’ve had a few chase me the last 3 years and I avoid it like a disease. It’s like I’m so lonely that I’m afraid if I meet someone new then something will just come and take it away from me. I’m afraid to let someone make me happy again. It’s like I’d rather just stay alone and lonely than suffer any more loss. It’s pitiful and I’m ashamed of it. But at least I’m honest. I’m not going out and laying a different woman every weekend just because I can. Hurting other people doesn’t help me
After I broke up with the woman I thought was ‘The One’ , I remember walking through a mall in North Seattle full of people with a life and thinking this is the loneliest I’ve ever been. I should’ve apologized to the women I went out with at that time because I wasn’t really all there.
It’s good to note that being alone and being lonely are very different. I choose to be alone, but by no means am I lonely. I don’t have a girlfriend nor am I actively dating right now, but I talk to and hang out with tons of people despite that. Being social is part of working on yourself. Good shit, Courtney.
Gets worse with the passage of time, classmates started to drift apart after graduation in 20s, moved to another country in 30s not knowing anybody, people at work are all acquaintances, ageing parents will not be around long and soon to be permanently alone.
This is why I am starting my UA-cam channel. I am going to create a community with young adults who really want to self improve. Self improvement to enhance your mental , fitness, communication, spiritual, financial, and education. My purpose is to help people. I do it at my gym and now I want to do it nationwide.
It's interesting to see that she genuinely seems to be convinced that solutions that work for women also work for men. "Connect on social media" is nothing but hilarious. When a guy messages any woman on social media, no matter which platform, he will either be ignored or burned down. No in-between. She doesn't say a word on the real cause of this problem: the way women handle interest from men and the way social media has completely fucked up dating for any guy that doesn't have all three sixes *and* looks like Brad Pitt.
First of all, that's not true. The success rate of talking to women online is low, sure. But it's not zero, I've made a bunch of really important relationships from just starting conversations with women online. Both platonic and romantic. And here's a little cheat code for you, it's actually easier to talk to women online if you give them friendly energy and don't in any way try to go beyond that line. If you think the only purpose women have in your life is for sex and romance, that might be a big part of why you get ignored and burned down so much Secondly, the point of this video is that it's just as important to cultivate platonic male friendships as well. So you should also be trying to connect on social media with other men and build those relationships that way. You tunnel visioning on the male female dynamic is saying more about your own personal pessimism than it is about the validity of anything in the video.
She tells people to really spend the time personalizing each message you send on dating apps even though she knows half of the accounts are either fake or just there for validation. "she" will NEVER tell you to avoid online dating its her spidersweb.
I believe she was referring to friendships in general, not just romantic partners. Some men don’t have any close friends to even just hang out with. Her comment, I believe, was aimed at making online connections with new potential friends more so than partners.
Thanks for bringing up the whole onlyfans thing courtney. It always astounded me how men could be so enamored with these para-social relationships. And also thanks for bringing up that they most likely aren't talking to the girls. Funny story I actually met a gay guy who handles chats for a model. And he said that he actually has to take breaks because it makes him sad to see how lonely these men are.
The thing about solitude is that it is truly a double edge sword. It could be the most peaceful place to be in but also the most dangerous place to be in mentally. Stay strong ya’ll
One thing you can always do for fun is full up a super soaker with urine and then hide behind bushes and spray people walking by with high pressured piss coming at them. Be sure to drink plenty of water and beer so you can always have a steady supply of piss in order to urinate on people with a super soaker.
It's different for us men. We basically have to go through hell alone. I've been seeking a relationship I was so desperate I ended up falling for someone who has someone that texted and called but never came around we never went on dates etc. I also don't have anyone to talk to who understands all of my friends are in relationships or married they say pay a female to connect with. I've thought about it honestly that's how lonely I am.
Same dude. But I wouldn’t pay someone to give you attention. Don’t let their egos and feelings of self worth skyrocket while your depression skyrockets at the same time.
Remember guys, it's ok to let talk about your problems and be vulnerable...but not to any woman you seek a romantic relationship with. They WILL judge you and it will destroy the relationship. This is where your friends and family come in.
We as men need to get on that I LOVE YOU MAN, Paul Rudd tip and make some effort. Just bc your married or older than 30 doesnt mean u cant meet new guys. Stop being prideful, start being open. Closed mouths dont get fed. And its not weird or s*xual. Its bonding, its communication, its finding comfort; its fight club. We're out there.
These last 2 years have been the most lonely I’ve ever experienced. I went from having a great friend circle and social life, to looking up how to start a conversation with a stranger without being crippled by anxiety or depression. Can’t remember the last time someone reached out because they wanted to see me. After a year of failing at making new friends or meeting people I subconsciously just gave up and don’t see it changing anytime soon. The highlight of my week is when I go out to dinner for my cheat meal
@Stevo I’ve been there man… I recommend seeking help. Either therapy or going to find new hobbies or interests. Even if you’re not that into it just go to experience and learn new things. But stick around, there are better days up ahead, homie 🖤
On the suicide note... Something that scared the hell out of me as I was in the process of taking my mental health seriously was a statistic I heard about the spontaneity of suicide amongst men. Some exorbitant number of male suicides (maybe 75%) were spontaneous decisions made within a 24 hour period. Let that sink in for second... If you're someone that struggles with depression and/or some level of suicidal ideation, you absolutely NEED to seek help and be willing to put the work in for yourself. As someone that has struggled with depression for 2/3 of my life, and as someone that has had suicidal thoughts, I know that for myself and a lot of the others like me that I've talked to, we don't actually want to kill ourselves. We want to end a part of ourselves. A part that experiences deep levels of pain and loneliness.
Personally I’d like this world better without me in it. A world where one less person has to feel casted out and constantly shat on for feeling regular/normal stuff by this absolute shitshow of a society sounds pretty good to me. Fuck it all
I’m not lonely. I’m with myself, the greatest and most loyal, passionate and intimate relationship there is. What are friends? They’re for the most part a distraction from your self. Most people cannot be alone and cover their anxiety with numerous superficial relationships. Been there, done that. It’s my life and it’s my time which is the most valuable thing.
I'm an introvert and enjoy my alone time, but have still experienced loneliness. During COVID, I started a new job and began living by myself. I worked the graveyard shift and grew to dislike the job quickly. I had been used to being single for quite some time at that point, but this time it felt different. I was alone with my thoughts more, I couldn't socialize, and my mental health took a decline. While I liked being independent and living alone, the pandemic and my work schedule just made me super lonely. However, I was never desperate enough to pay someone to talk to me, or talk to someone I wasn't interested in just to fill that hole in my life. I've been able to overcome loneliness throughout my 20s by not letting it dictate my life or define who I am. And while I feel down about remaining single and our cold dating climate from time to time, I know I have to keep going if I want a meaningful connection with someone. And your channel (which I just recently found and have been binging), has given me a boost. So thank you!
One thing I would say is don’t be afraid of reaching out to your current friends. I’ve always struggled with this, and eventually a lot of friends stopped asking to hang out since they were always initiating. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends to hang out! If they ask you to chill, and you’re never asking them, they’ll wonder if you even want to see them.
I am alone most of the time, but I rarely ever feel lonely. When I was younger I felt _inadequate_ for always being alone, and I believed that was loneliness. Then someone important to me died, and I learned what loneliness actually felt like, and I realized that what I had thought was loneliness was really just dissatisfaction.
Girls shame boys for being loners because they like them but they also instinctively seek out protection from a social group. If a boy doesn’t have friends she sees him as lacking in the resources she needs to feel safe. But in reality boys aren’t responsible for girls’ insecurities
Really feeling this one lately. Recently finished college and trying to find a job has left me with more free time than I'd actually like. It's made me feel extremely lonely and honestly praying for it to end soon
Yh don't Try to be satisfied with yourself and enjoy yourself because if not it'll be very easy to become overly attached and dependent on the feeling of happiness or joy you get from being around others
@Reso The best advise i can give to you is to become your own best friend, do what you like to do and work on the person you want to become. If you stil feel lonely after doing that then just remember we are all alone in the world and you should not punish your self for being lonely. Learn to accept it and then find at way to change your life.
@@Lightflames85 Word. LISTEN TO THIS GUY. I've had those times. B6 ut if YOU CANT BE HAPPY(much of the time, alone) YOU WONT BE TRULY HAPPY , longterm, with someone.... I KNOW. IT FEELS LIKE A FEMALE HUMAN WILL SOLVE IT ALL. You need MORE TIME ALONE if you feel that. I'm sorry. But ITS TRUE. DEVELOP ONESELF.
My default is always to white knuckle situations, especially loneliness. I've been single for 7 years now and not for a lack of trying. There have been lots of dates but hasn't clicked yet, but that has really taken a toll on me mentally and emotionally and exacerbate the loneliness even more.
Same here. I've been single for a while and going on dates. Even going further, but it always ends. Always fucking ends. When it does? It hurts so bad. It's happened so damn much that I've been conditioned to be numb to it. That's good in a way. Problem is that the numbness is just not crying my heart out. Inside, it actually hurts my heart physically. Sorry for rambling. I have more but I'll leave it there.
My first girlfriend loved it when I showed my emotional side. I was very upfront about my feelings and express them to a selected few. Soon she began to tilt her screen away so I couldnt see. Then she betrayed me several times. I broke up. She got mad at me. I was devestated though and foolishly wanted to get back with her. She then used my feelings against me. My second and last grirlfriend knew I was very kind before we got together. But once I opened up and showed a vulnerable side, she ghosted me. I assume she had something with another man. Also non-relationships: whenever I opened up, I got hit in the face and stabbed in the back. I dont take anyone seriously that says "show your feelings". Nowadays there's even studies on how wives lost respect to their men, once they saw how they cried. The "toxic masculinity" stuff is always pushed to us men. We are supposed to be harming ourselves. But the women's part is always ignored. And when someone does mention it, he is called a freak, an incel etc.
The worst thing you can do when you're lonely is do nothing (outside of work). You have to improve yourself, get into hobbies (gym, sports, clubs etc.) , volunteer, finish or start on a new project, anything to keep you moving and your mind preoccupied. Eventually in doing all of those things, you will naturally meet people, make new friends, and even meet someone you can date. Everyone goes thru a rough time at some point in their life. It is up to you on how you decide to tackle it. Sadly many take the easy route out by taking their own life, prove the world wrong and show them how valuable you are thru self-improvement and you will naturally attract others that will want to be around you. Don't be cocky. but be humble and confident in what you do. Again, DOING NOTHING, is a soul killer. Make an effort to keep yourself preoccupied (in a positive way), preferably things that will improve yourself and self value. Anyone can change, it is up to YOU to make that change. Thanks Courtney for highlighting this topic for many men that are suffering. Making a difference one pod cast at a time. 😁
For me, the reason I feel so alone after studying abroad in the US for a year is that I feel like no one really wants to talk to me or like me. It always feels like a one-sided conversation or connection when I'm always the first one to approach or to say hi to someone. Whenever I don't approach first, they never talk to me back or never say hi and its like they pretend I dont exist if i dont interact first. Whenever I got someone's socials, I am always the one who texted first or the one who started a convo, Im also the one who always checks up on people but never get appreciated. Also no one ever checks up on me when Im alone here. I never get invited out anywhere as well, and I always get rejected or ghosted when i ask someone to hangout. I dont even know what to do anymore. At this point im just trying to cope with being lonely, without any friends, and living in a foreign country alone because it is excruciating to build social connections with people as a guy.
Don't pretend for one second that you understand or care about men and their loneliness. If you did you wouldn't think the answer was to act and think more like a woman.
The type of connection is what I miss. Especially being a veteran. When I moved back home, all my friends had cultivated lives without me being there. It was hard to interject myself back into the circle; as I felt we grew in different directions. I have tons of “friends” and people I know. I do jiu jitsu 4 days a week. I lift 1-2 days a week. I hang out after class and we all talk. Sometimes we go out after for food or plan nights to all meet at a bar or restaurant. I talk to people at the gym in passing. I speak to my coworkers daily. I get plenty of human interaction, but I don’t really get connection with any depth-which is discernibly different. I feel like I don’t find people who operate on the same wave length (not that mine is better or worse), or we don’t have anything in common other than the hobbies we share. So once we converse about something else, it becomes awkward and forced. The human interaction keeps me afloat and I am appreciative of it, but I am really missing that depth and unbreakable bond aspect of a brotherly type of friendship. And I’m 36. I’m like Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man 😂
Well, according to statistics 36 percent of all men will die child less and lonely. I am part of that 36 percent but I am not complaining. Lots of focus on the negativity of being lonely but I guess alone and lonely works differently. I am wired to be alone and would probably have made an excellent light house keeper if that profession was still around.
I neglected my friends after marriage and lost them all over time. I relied on my ex wife for everything social. After divorce I was and still am adrift. I have a bunch of hobbies but sometimes I just want to hang out but nobodies around. Guys keep your friendships strong.
Friends suck too man your not missing out majority of people will back stab you in a heartbeat for money, women, to get ahead etc being alone is the way to go.
I'm not fluent in English, but want to help you. Don't be afraid to say "Sorry, i neglected you, and now i need you back in my life. Give me a chance." to your old friends. Maybe they still care :)
But isn't that a good thing? Women seeking validation from us gives us validation! And vice versa. Why would anyone seek validation from someone they wouldn't desire?
Felt the same in large gatherings as well even with acquaintances for so long I felt no one really has my back. Stay strong man this season will pass as all others do.
@Anonymous Guys.. I go to bar alone very rarely, but I start talking to bartender, waiter/waitress.. and you'd be surprised to find single ladies around the bar, waiting for someone to make a move and just start talking. Heck, even other males over there might give you an interesting night by sharing their lives a bit, you can see so much different perspective through another one's soul.. You know.. I always tell myself: okay, now I am alone, single. What do I have to lose to go outside, start a conversation, even if it goes nowhere with a girl, it doesn't matter, as I can only gain. I cannot lose because I end up being alone and single going back home. So take a step up, sip a drink if you really need to muster some courage but yeah, you'd be surprised that others might be in the wait!! As for being rejected, when you get rejected around 50-100 times, you'll see that it doesn't hurt at all, part of life, we move on.. Wishing you the best!
Lonliness is not caused by others, its when your mind tells you nobody cares about you, but power of mind can change this into solitude And content which makes men more successful if they work on them selves and improve I know its difficult to do because lonliness kills inside, but if we try, we can make every thing possible ❤🙏
I agree. Too many people blame electronic tech. Fact is if you feel lonely and want to blame tech you need to take a look in the mirror. If people don't like you in-person doesn't do anything. They don't even want to meet! Examine your life and relationships. That's the cause of loneliness.
I think Introverts can deal better with being lonely compared to an Extrovert. We all feel lonely at times. I think being alone can be good for some people.
personally i love my alone time, im am an introvert 100% but that being said, being lonely as a man. Its the longing to have a deeper connection with someone. I have great co-workers and awesome friends, friends i seem myself growing old with. That being said i long for intimacy (not sex) someone i can express my feelings and my love too. Thats the loneliness that men feel instead of actually being alone all by yourself.
Eve was made for Adam, not the other way around. People are so faithless these days that they don’t believe truth. Women are more satisfied helping and being a part of a man’s goals, but instead they are focused in on their own things and then they wonder why they are lonely. But, if you read Genesis 3, you’ll realize that women have desired to rule over men since the beginning of time. Even in all these UA-cam channels one can find numerous women telling men how they should live. It is common sense that in a relationship only one can lead and the other follows. The tail does not wag the dog.
Honestly this has been my life for as long as I can remember, and I’m about to turn 36 and will celebrate it alone. My family is toxic for me, I try to keep in touch but no one ask me to do anything, and when I ask them, it never leads anywhere. It’s frustrating, but I think a lot of people like me either get used to it or accept it. I worry how it’s impacting my health and happiness but it’s something I can’t fix on my own, so I just do things by myself. Part of the issue is I don’t know if other people really know how to deal with a lonely person, so it just reinforces negative thoughts patterns. Not trying to make this into a rant, but just saying as someone who’s had this issue, tried the things suggested in the video, seen therapist, and improved myself, it’s one problem that continues to remain, and I’m sadly not alone in that. But overall, thank you for bringing this to light, and hopefully this helps others and let’s them feel more connected and able to change things around.
I've grown up as an only child, and even though I've had cousins and friends all my life to talk to, I've still had to go through life alone when no one was around. But unlike most people who had siblings they complained about being alone more than I do. I guess I'm used to it in a way. I had one serious long term relationship my whole life and even through that, I did feel lonely even with her. So loneliness is really a state of mind. You can choose to be comfortable in your own skin, keep yourself busy, and be your own best friend, or feel hopeless with nothing to strive for in life.
I'm 37, been alone and single most of my life. I used to get patches of depression and sadness from it. But now I don't know how to live any other way. I will probably never have kids or get married. With dating as it is, and women as entitled as they are, why would I want to do that anyway? I'm at peace alone. But I do like having friends with benefits.
This woman has a lot of good opinions and thoughts on the topic, and she even states that she doesn’t know how lonely men are that end up paying someone to talk to them, but then she goes on to say “I’ve been lonely and put myself in that position where friends invite me out to drink, but I say no and would rather stay home and work in my bed”. Being lonely and choosing to be alone are very different. True lonely people live in virtual isolation. Simply existing is all lonely people do. They don’t have anyone asking me to go drink with them, they don’t have anyone wishing them happy birthday, happy holidays, inviting them to weddings, etc. I’ve been out of college 3 years now and yet to go anywhere or do anything with anyone other than immediate family (mother and sister). When I look at my recent calls/texts, it’s virtually 100% automated messages or family. Besides the one or two family events a year, like Christmas, lonely people (me included) live life completely invisible. If I were to quit my job, not a single soul would know where I am or who I am. I haven’t left my house (besides going to work and get food) in 3 years. It’s getting to the point that, if out of the blue, and old friend messaged me asking to meet up, I don’t think I could because it’s such an unnatural experience. I wouldn’t even have any good clothes I could wear. The pressure it would put on me the days in advance would be so overwhelming I feel like I would cancel the plans. Once you have been lonely long enough, it changes from an emotion into your personality. Being lonely is like a parasite, and once it grabs a hold of most people, it changes them. I have changed. 16 year old me would be so proud of my career achievements so far, but would be so disappointed in my utter lack of social interests. At this point, the only thing keeping me going is hope for the future, and hope that some of the sacrifices I have made for my promising young career can be worth something later in life, for my own family. But once that hope is gone, and one day it probably will be, I’m not sure what I’ll have to look forward too anymore.
I feel this changed my mindset and perspective on talking to or interacting with women, I read it on a forum, I thought the guy hit the nail right on the head. It changed my perspective and mindset on talking to women. A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice "It bothers and annoys, enrages me or pisses me off a lot when people use the word practice, because the way I see it, for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men, because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first" I thought to myself, never truer words have been said or spoken. I thought that was bang-on right there. and i got a response from a dating coach on youtube, which enraged and pissed me off more, while I don't disagree with him, I just don't like how he said the brutal cold harsh fact of how different for men and women when it comes to getting better at talking to and interacting with the opposite sex. It makes sense and I like to believe there is far more advice for guys in the world on how to talk to and interact with girls then there is advice for girls on how to talk to and interact with guys. He said: "Don't worry about what other people don't have to do or why something is easier for them or whatever the comparison may be. Focus on you, where you want to be, what you need to do to get there and then get moving." That pissed me off more when I read that. Another reason why I don't like it is because it feels or seems like the way a guy talks and interacts with people or a guy's social skills, the way he behaves around others, has a much bigger impact on his attractiveness or ability to get a girlfriend then the other way around. As in, the way a girl talks or a girl's social skills doesn't impact her attractiveness or ability to get a boyfriend as much as it does for a guy to get a girlfriend. Men need to focus more on the behavioral aspect than women do when it comes to attracting someone it seems. The main reason why i hate that, is because guys, men, can unfortuneately be labeled creepy or weird in interactions or social situations with women, even if the guy, man, never meant any harm, was never trying to hurt the woman, the reverse isn't true though. And due to men always having been expected to walk up to women and open our mouth, it makes more sense for the man to need to practice but not the woman. If an interaction or conversation goes poorly or bad between a man and a woman,. It's always the guys fault, it's impossible for a woman to screw up a conversation or interaction with a guy, it seems. It also kinda makes me mad because its another remind that it looks like men need to have better social skills than women do in order to attract someone. Because being able to attract someone primarily on your fertility and youth, physical beauty, isn't really something that needs practice or training, not something that needs to be taught.
I have suffered isolation in my childhood/teenage age since I went to school at age 7, this lasted until age 24. It was because of being different (I have disability) and was somehow hated by kids in school, because I was the only one person like that in the town and they hated me for being crippled, but still one of best students in school. Never had friends, I was always outsider, not because I wanted it, I was just forced to be. As a teenager any girl was interested in me - they prefered just to mock up me openly because somehow it was fun for them and I wasn't tall or handsome and it was not cool to date disabled person. Hell, I was even being beaten by groups on simple footwalk and all people in school knew it. I thought, I found friendship at age 17 in new school (last school level before universty) with a girl, at age 19 we started flirting massively, she seemed to reciprocate, she knew already that I love her and stopped trying with others, but then she ghosted me completelly out of sudden - months later she announced bf she met at exact time when she cut contact with me and her friends. That's how valuable was 3 years of friendship. Ghosting. Only later I have realized it was inmature, blind love. She never actually initiated anything in friendship. She was only just talking with me as response to my initiative. And I was the only one bringing support to the table. She only flirted and took help from me. School ended, final exams were done and I found myself more alone than I was feeling it before at age 19. Because I already knew the feeling of unhappy love and overall I lacked everything - having a friend, having romantic love, just any person I could talk. I have isolated myself more for next 4 years, caught mental breakdown, depression and listlessness. I lost any spark of joy. I couldn't even leave home. I couldn't find myself a job or study properly, my grades were getting bad and I started failing exams. I have started spending too much time just playing games, closed myself in my bubble. I forgot about all my hobbies I had - climbing, archery, bicycle, motorsport, collecting things like models of cars, books... It was terrible spiral that was getting worse and worse. Depression and loneliness are the worst things can happen to someones mental health. I don't wish this to nobody. I don't know I have survived. How I didn't went for alcohol, drugs, cigarettes. Just never wanted to do it because these things scare me, I don't see a point, why should I poison my body. Just...games and pornography to deal with high libido. No OF luckily, I still somehow kept my head on neck. At age 24 I have spotted first changes for better. I was lucky, because there happened something, that was main key to trigger me out of depression. A friend. A girl, that had enough empathy and spark in herself to do something women do rarely - ask me out. She is my bestie now, she had already bf, but we clicked so well, but she is my buddy and our friendship exists since 2019. She knows everything about me and I know something about her. She is supportive and shows up everytime when I need her to talk. I can't ask for more, this is already a lot for me. She helped me a lot during crucial time. Still struggling, but started having simple jobs, changed study and chasing dreams I have dropped long time ago. I study now, what I wanted always to do - aviation. Knowing that I can talk with someone gives me energy. But working on myself slowly. And started opening myself to the world. I found myself again being in motorsport cirlcle, regaining slowly my passions. Loneliness is still eating me sometimes. I have no experience in many things yet. But maybe someday I will find myself also in romantic mutual love, get first real kiss and more from life. I am now 26 and just starting having my life. Even today I had nice banter with stranger girl in a tram. We both laughed.
I wish you All the Happiness in the World as you take your first steps into your New Chapter in your Life. Your past experiences has made you so much Stronger to be able to achieve what You won't. Take care of yourself. Andy.
That's right Courtney. You don't understand, and you never will, because you are not a man. I say that as a fact, and not to be hurtful towards you. In fact I actually really do enjoy your videos and even subscribe to your channel. It isn't just men who treat other men like this, women treat men like shit too.
My loneliness has a bit of irony to it. Being surrounded by family members that fail to understand me at the most basic levels, I tend to isolate myself. It's also the reason I haven't dabbled in relationships, let alone friendships for some time. However I am planning on moving out and getting myself out there so I can hopefully at least get a roommate. Thank you for addressing this issue though. It gives a guy like me more hope than you think. :)
Honestly, I am more lonely than I've ever been. It caused me to really open up and allow myself to be vulnerable with others and I've have opened up about my loneliness and depression. I'm not sure how I'll get out of this, but this video is for me and I'll incorporate these tips.
This video is so relatable and I really needed to listen to this and need to follow the advice given. Loneliness is one of the reasons why I suffer from depression. Thank you so much Courtney.
Social groups of and for men, and male spaces, have been under an ideological assault for a very long time. Men need to rebuild and re-establish those groups and spaces outside of, and away from, the presence of women. This will actually make for better relationships with women and better families.
I'm gonna be that guy. I spent 2019-2020 feeling so lonely and hopeless, nothing was going right I hated my job and my life and I was struggling with my mental health. I had no one to turn to while my friend group has moved all over the area over the years and catching up once every other month isnt enough. Decided to join a new brazilian jiu jitsu gym and I immediately felt right at home. All of these men and women suffering and working to hone a craft and getting beat up together created a bond between me and everyone there. If I ever feel like I'm struggling I can always talk to someone there, whether it's my black belt or one of my fellow students. When I got my first stripe promotion was the first time I ever felt like I belonged somewhere, I never grew up being in sports or feeling like I had a group to be a part of. It was such a big deal to me i felt like crying. My bjj gym is my family these days we keep in touch on social media, do dinner after practice and work to lift each other up. I know that this is just my experience but if I could ever give advice from my pov try out a bjj class, it's scary and difficult but it could be the thing that changes everything. Much love guys don't give up, and thank you Courtney for addressing this loneliness epidemic that young men feel. You're the best 👌
@@Tom_Quixote Dogs have literally protected their owners from attackers, and many dogs have saved their owners from dying of a heart attack. Sure, they are there for food too, we all need to eat in order to survive, but a Dog's loyalty is truly pure.
![How We Became the Loneliest Generation [Documentary]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/I19btmIBhx0/mqdefault.jpg)
Over time, being lonely is no longer something you feel. It's something you are.
Eventually you get used to it, I haven't received an hug in like 3 years or even more, loneliness is my day to day, I just accept it and keep going.
Study, Wotkout, Job, myself, loneliness is my nemesis and friend.
That's unfortunate to see this. Why do you think there is no hope to find someone compatible for you?
That's been my whole life as well. I'm genuinely fed up with and sick of it. Everyday I live in limbo between wanting to live and wanting to die.
@@1legend517 you’re destined for more man. I promise. It’s probably hard to believe that but we can talk anytime about this.
@@coachgrandcam Like what? I don't even have any purpose in life.
Sorry, but it’s been my experience and observations that when we do show vulnerability it becomes an immediate turn off to women. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
Some even get sadistic and use it as a weapon against us.
Women test you when you show weakness but it’s a biological thing. Don’t fall apart with your lady, that is a guarantee she’ll start looking for other stronger men. You don’t have to ignore pain and shit that happened to you BUT do so with a therapist or another guy you trust. Look for advice to make you stronger. Women don’t like mentally weak men. The only ones who do are test pilots at broom factories
The human condition
yeah, they don't care and you're giving her a reason to dump you.
But the top of your head looks shiny
As much as loneliness sucks, I have learned the hard way that there are far worse things than being alone. Like the late Robin Williams said (miss that man): "The worst thing is being with people who make you feel alone."
A dog is better than a wife. A dog actually loves you.
@@needparalegal but u can't have sex with a dog,,,,well most guys cant,,lol
@@brando7266 when my son turns 18 I will get my freedom back. I can move back to Europe and get a dog. MGTOW + Vasectomy is the only way today. Especially if you're a high value man and women are openly looking for an ex-husband before she even meets the man.
The more wealth a man has the more women will want to take it from you.
Don't you know, you can talk about male suicide. Only women are victims.
@@iancarisi8342 18? I had to pay till 21,and half of college costs,but at least my sons show proper respect to me,( for overpaying all those yrs,),and it's only getting worse for guys,,( divorced dads) the system is too broken, it heavily favors the mothers too much,,
Robin was one of the best ever.
Loneliness is different for men and women, I’m not going to lie I feel very alone, but I am a strong willed man. When my brother passed away, no one really came to see if I was ok, but I watched everyone check in on my sister daily if not weekly. I don’t know if it was because everyone assumed that I was ok or because I was a man. But it truly made me realize that I was alone in life, the only person who actually asked me how I was doing was a 19 year old coworker whom I rarely work with since we work different work shifts. That little gesture of kindness of him asking me how I was doing made the whole world to me and it surprised the heck out of me. Not even my closest friends reached out like that, not sure why but I won’t lie and say that it didn’t bother me. It changed my whole perspective of how men and women work with their relationships. Regardless, listen up, boys. You are the captain of your own ship, do not expect help but appreciate any given to you. There will be ups and downs, always keep your head up high and don’t allow your spirit to break, go get it, boys. 💪🏻
People often think that man are always alright and women should be treated with care, instead we both should be treated just the same.
Men are just expected to internalize things. Why do you think men have anger issues and commit suicide. I don't think society truly knows or maybe just doesn't care how much men suffer.
@@mohanbabu908 Agreed, everyone probably thought that I’d be alright and even though they were right, it still feels good to know that people care by showing some kind of support.
@@kozakmw88 I hate to say that I agree, but I really do. I feel as the perception of men’s mental health is really a joke. All these school shootings are unhappy men without guidance or love taking it out on society. It’s time for a change.
Man I wish I had friends like you man, all the people I know are so short sighted I just can't connect with anyone.
Speaking as a 46 year old introvert who has never been married, lives alone, no children, and hasn't seriously dated anyone in eight years, I'm not gonna lie but loneliness does grip me from time to time. My inner circle at work and especially my small group that I meet with at church once a week continuously give me reassurance that there are people out there who have demonstrated that I'm special to them and that we need each other. It's those little things I'm thankful for each day.
Glad to hear that
Just keep your eyes open and you'll definitely find a good one out there
Lord God Jesus Christ bless you Sir
It advantage of being single din"t spend on dates & woman ;; guys have talk& look at woman cashier ; waitress coworkers etc etc as long as men is willing to play the stud / one night stand game; pretty woman sex can be like a ❤️/ lust drug ; men become obsess with a one night stand sex partner
Lots of pretty woman looking for stud service
Ben, I'm 45 and 13 years divorced with 2 teens. Hang in there buddy
My GF told me she liked it when i expressed myself and show my emotional side. It was great. Till she out of the blue dumped be for another guy that puts up a tough front....
You say that the problem is that we dont show emotion or connect with people on a deeper level. But in a vast majority of cases when we do that itself IS the problem. Woman never want anything to do with that in their guys. And that is the primary reason we have adopted the policy of never doing that, despite how much we want to.
Learned this the hard way
Life’s a bish and then you die huh?
@@antoniomontana2034 I don't even know anymore..
@@robertgk2017 nah, you really have to focus on building yourself up to be the best you can
There are differences between being an unemotional tough guy, an emotional whiner, and an honest, caring man.
Evaluate your character, and if you fall in the latter category and the woman can't see the difference ... you have lost nothing.
The sad thing Is if a Male is Lonely sad Etc the world will not care we really need to change that
I’m hoping that changes! Talking about it is the first step :)
Men and or people in general that are so called, "lonely", need to get out more and or find a hobby or what it is that will take them away from such a state of mind. Loneliness should NEVER exist with people. Loneliness starts from within. Something is lacking inside that compels such a feeling.
It will never change because men are Hardwired to protect women. And women care more about themselves. So just accept it.
Not just would the world not care, but it will oust him and call him weak.
@@CourtneyRyan talking about it to the right person cuz otherwise you only bleed over people around you which is not good
Big sis Courtney is back! But in all seriousness, So true. It's a shame that men have it rough, but nobody wants to talk about it because of the negative stereotype that we got through. Hell, male loneliness is played for laughs. Like how is a man breaking down funny? Fucking cruel, fam.
🎶Break me down you build me up believer believer 🎶
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
are males more into cuddle than females even though females are more emotional
@@marialaden4259 males are emotional. Just not as much. We love cuddles
I hear ya - The Dre Day Show! Great tips - by Courtney!
And speaking of “Loneliness…” and leading to Depression.
The “Best Thing” to do: is to get out of your head… it doesn’t do you any good!
Whatever you’re going through - trust me! There are millions of people that are going through worse.
When you start thinking about that - all of a sudden, your problem doesn’t seem as bad.
What I found caused most of my Depression were Negative Thoughts: thinking about the Past (which I can’t change); thinking about the Future (which hasn’t happened yet); or the Present (all the struggles I’m going through).
When I started letting go of all that, and just focus on the “Present”, and what I need to do - to start bettering my life - everything changed! Cheers!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
This girl actually lives in Dreamland. The moment you show vulnerability, your woman looks down on you and she'll seek your replacement. It is my experience. Ten years later I'm still alone.
You just met the wrong woman, not everyone you lose is a loss, good riddance, you’ll meet a better woman, work on yourself, put yourself out there and at the right time you will find her and she won’t run away the minute you become vulnerable
Nope this man is right you can’t show them any weakness they can complain about they’re life and job all the time but the first time you actually try to talk to your girlfriend thinking she is your friend will be your last. Experience leads to predictability
@@Jeansoverslacks yall hanging out with women who have zero interest in yall, a proper woman is gonna hold you down, care about your mental health, one bad experience and y’all are now generalising all women
There's a difference between vulnerability from a positive and proactive standpoint vs. whining and acting like a victim. The latter is not attractive for either gender.
With a voice that sweet her box must never stink.
"Pay someone to talk to is sad..." And it is a reality for many of us men. If you don´t have enough money, if you are not handsome enough, if you don´t have enough material stuff, a good car, a good house, a good job...if we are no one, no one pays atttention. We have been taught that we have to work hard to achieve much and then we will be considered valuable, speciall for women. Society, women included, don´t want vulnerable men, and society expect us to keep going, to prettend we have everything under control, no matter how we feel. And if we try to connect with people, other men and women in general disqualify us. Women get to choose, i get it, and is fair. But society now has make it even more difficult, by pointing that men in general are bad, toxic, negative, etc. So...yes, so sad. But most of us will have to endure it all with no help. No one has the obligation to be with us. No one has the obligation to accept our company. And most of us have to swallow that reality.
Women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are loved based on what they can provide.
Once upon a time industrial society used to provide many opportunities for men to have connections, motorcycles and car repair, sports and social clubs - the union, the Friday Pub night and in and out of the workplace training and interwork interactions. The destruction of industry (the rust belt) and the crushing of the traditional white working-class together with neo lib brutality in terms of work programs have left men disorganised and fractured and unemployed. Women's traditional employment was less affected by the west industrial decline. Men are slowly starting to form networks different to the past but it is a whole new learning and reorganisation project.
Unfortunately, the coming office automation drive and the use of AI in the medical area will do the same to women's jobs as was done to men. I would expect women's isolation to increase as a result. It was the employment and the work interactions that drove social engagement - despite work being sucky it does provide the defacto social need. I wouldn't just blame men for the situation that men's mental health is in today, I would look back to the industrial past.
Yeah I think only fans part work both ways cus after all women still need validation from men to provide for themselves on those sites
Don't Worry All This Means There Is A Great Change Coming To Humanity..This Game Is Over..
Courtney: "Pay someone to talk to is sad...."
Therapists: 👀
"Acting OK when you are not". Any man who has ever showed weakness know NEVER TO SHOW WEAKNESS. Nothing is more despised by women than weakness in a man.
To be honest,i am internally broken to be living in this fake world
@@motsepethompson1118 Its not fake, if you are weak you cannot have a quality woman. Its not the end of the world, 90% of men have no woman or a nasty one. Lots of homeless bums still enjoy their lives.
@@motsepethompson1118 Wait, you are a woman, what is hard about a woman's life? All you have to do is ignore your urge to chase the worst thugs and life is gravy. I am seriously curious about what women find hard about life?
Yep. Any sign of weakness really pisses of women. It's a 1 or zero. Hard lessons. Be tough and keep your mouth shut.
@@ldn0224 I refuse personally. I refuse to pretend to be tough to meet some bogus societal standard, and I have every intention of forcing society to drop that standard, no matter the cost; human lives, human suffering, personal loss, I don't care.
I destroy what I hate, and lately I have realized there is little I hate more than the mask of fake masculinity I am forced to wear by this broken and messed up society.
This video made me reflect on my interactions with women over the past 10 years (I am currently 30 and relentlessly single). Now that I think about it, if and when females were attracted to me (which wasn't often mind you), it was only when I was mysterious and silent before they got to know me. After I began to open up and share my thoughts and emotions, however, is when each of these girls suddenly started ghosting me or losing interest in me, even to the extent of being rude to me in later interactions. I'm a genuine and well-spoken person, so it's easy for me to communicate my feelings, which I thought women appreciated, but it's always after I let girls in a little that they bail. This has been tremendously painful to me over the years to the point that, despite having intense desires for a wife to cherish, I almost prefer to stay single. It hurts even more when females express that they have no time for me because they're busy, yet I later discover they're out with other guys like they have all the time in the world... that part hurts so much. I truly feel unwanted.
On the other hand, the women who HAVE shown interest after getting to know me have always been 40+ years old, married/divorced, and have at least two kids who are teenagers, which tells me my personality and values are only appealing to women who have already "had their fun" and prefer a good, mature guy now - the last resort. That's not how I want to be ranked on the scale of desirability.
Gay guys are attracted to me, though, which doesn't help me because I'm straight as an arrow. I've been hit on by more guys than girls in my adult life, which just adds to my sadness and confusion.
The feelings of hopelessness and depression are crushing on a daily basis, and it doesn't matter to anyone.
I don't hate gay guys but it always gives me a sting when a couple or few gays try to message you in a dating app but when you finally text to a girl there and they show interest, they stop texting and tell you they're busy. Girls get turned off so fucking fast. I'm 23. Never been in a relationship b4
@@vintage_hart6392 I gave up on dating apps a few years ago - realized they’re a waste of time, energy, and emotions. I also realized I don’t really want the kind of girl who typically uses apps anyway.
I totally agree on how easily girls get turned off and discard you; it’s maddening. Once again, that’s typical of the dating app girls, who have no problem treating guys like accessories because they get endless attention from all kinds of guys.
I remember being 23 and alone as well. People say that’s too young to be feeling hopeless and that you have your whole life ahead of you, but those aren’t helpful words because you feel intense and hurtful loneliness every moment of every day. It’s not like you’re happy-go-lucky all the time just because you’re young. Life is longer when you’re lonely and all you want to do is share your life with a woman you love and cherish, so I sympathize with you for how you feel at your age. I can assure you the pain dulls a bit as you get older and you steadily stop seeing women as sources of happiness and simply as other people with their own problems just like you. The desire for a mate doesn’t go away, but you learn the reality that a woman is just as flawed and damaged as you because she’s also human, and that she’s not your trophy or a goddess to idolize. Stay away from that mindset and look to God instead to be your fulfillment.
My thoughts exactly
I feel and share your pain my brother, as I have the same experience as a man in a world where women seem to love each other more than men. Men being so aggressive chasing men gives wenote power if choice in partners than any man can ever have. However, there is another problem working against men. Women as a whole, unlike men, have sexual attraction to each other. Just watch them more closely. They choose whether or not to act on this attraction.
You get hit on by more guys than girls because men pursue and women are pursued. Go forth and pursue.
"They say being alone is lonely. But the loneliest thing of all is to be surrounded by the wrong people" - The Joker / Arthur Fleck (Joachim Phoenix).
100%. I live alone and I fucking love it. I'd never let anyone ruin what I've got.
This couldn't be any more true, being stuck with family members who'll try and control my life aspirations while misunderstanding me daily. Makes me want to debatably be more isolated once I move out than I am already.
Couldnt agree this is bullshit
@@dillonc7955 i made that mistake and youre letting bad behavior control you. Fix your behavior and set boundaries with everyine else. Anyone who disrespects you or your life, warn them and if it happens again cut em out. Youre teaching people how to treat you. But isolation isnt the greatest. Its a temporary, short term reliwf from a chaotic environment but let healthy people into your life.
He didn’t even say this at any point in the movie lol 😂.
I'm a 61 year old man that has spent 95% of my time alone over the last almost 8 years. I'm either in my semi truck or at my place. After 3 divorces I had just had enough. There is a bright spot though. The first 3-4 years were hell, but then I realized what I had been doing was healing from the divorces, childhood and generational traumas and really every poor decision I had ever made. I owned my role in each situation that I was responsible for, and forgave not only myself but anyone who had done me wrong. I'm still at it on a daily basis, but I feel much better about myself today. I do get lonely, but I have hope that will change!
well put
Sounds like you're out there seeing the country hopefully making good money, make the most of it.
Walking with you Kevin. Pretty similar story/journey. Go well.
@@stevensaleh6955 ...I've seen enough of the country, lol. I run four 15 hour days a week (Ag exempt), I'm home every night, months vacation a year and yes sir, the money is very good!
@@OilCanHarry2U You do the same!
I think it goes even deeper than loneliness. I think a lot of men are struggling with depression. I mean let's face it many of us grow up without dads and have no idea what an ideal man is. Then society tells us grow the fuck up. Okay tell me how.
We only know what we were taught in high school following the celebs that to be successful, you gotta be good looking, you need to own stuff, and nice guys finish last. And on top of it all your measure among peers is how many girls you could sleep with.
While at the same time society constantly reminds us that we are "stupid", "physical abusers", "sexual predators", and "oppressors". It was a recipe for disaster since the beginning. It turns out if you tell a group of people that they are terrible people they start to believe it.
The sad truth is. A lot of us don't even know what being a man really means anymore. Before it meant we would be strong protectors, leaders, and breadwinners. But, that all changed with society.
I didn't grow up with my dad. Now I have a daughter that I love and cherish. But, I have no idea what to do. I have no idea how to show her what a real man is because I don't know myself. "Be a man" it's one of the most insulting and aggraving things to hear come out of a woman's mouth. Because it's not only said in ignorance - do they even know? But, it's often said to win arguments and be manipulative. It's not to down women, but I want them to honestly tell me what it truly means to "be a man". Because it's no longer leadership and breadwinning are qualities to be shared and protectors are seen as violent. I as a man can never tell a woman to "woman up". I don't know what it means to be a woman because I am not a woman. I would never tell someone to be something that I have no idea what it means to be.
In short a lot of us is lost. Having a dad in our lives isn't assumed it's a privilege. All I can do for my daughter is try my best. I don't know if it will be good enough.
Well put 💯
Well said. I always have an issue with all those "control the man" sayings. "Be a man", or "man up", or "real man", etc.
I went to university and the feminist politics was absolutely disgusting. I made official complaints about it.
Spot on - not to mention the confusing things given to men like 'It's ok to be vulnerable' , 'girls like quiet, emotional men' and 'masculinity is toxic, be more female'
I've grown with my dad but that was pretty much the transport -> job -> eat -> TV -> sleep -> go again routine.
I learned and still learn what is to be a "man" today at 27. I think that fighting is the answer, not physically (still, going to gym doesn't do anything wrong to you. Personally, it helps me with mood swings and gives me energy) but fighting for your ideals, against your fears, your anxiety.
In my early 20's, I was looking for girlfriend but as time passes, seing other couples fed me up (eh, I never even saw my parents kissing once) and convinced me that my goals aren't here. Maybe one day I will have a woman in my life, maybe not, as time passes it becomes less and less relevant to me.
To sum up, fight, fight as much as you can, try things so you don't regret anything.
@@sourcilavise3788 My dad was a good man, but not useful when it came to women. I don't really blame him, he was married just before feminism got really out of hand. He still believes women are these sweet loving tradwife angels.
Being a high-functioning autistic, my whole life has been mostly dealing with loneliness. Not many people talk to me, I've got few relatable interests, I'm never really good at small talk, and I've come off, at best, as weird and ridiculous to others while trying to fit in. There's really nothing more showing about loneliness exactly like in this video than having autism.
I have high functioning autism. I feel the exact same way as you it's been that way for a long time.
Trust me. You are not missing much from modern society my friend. Just keep doing you ✌
@@truthskr7127 Believe me, I try yet somehow it still leaves me hanging.
@@rtcrump0079 I don't have autism but I'll be honest I've never been the best at socializing unfortunately. Most of the time I have no idea what to say so I just sit there and listen. At least it's a good thing on dates but other than that I don't talk much. Just work, hit the gym to build my Zyzz aesthetic physique and that's it.
@@paulcoleman5512 Funny, I've just been trying to do just that myself.
Mens health and wellbeing has generally been overlooked and forgotten in the last few decades. Society still feels it as a taboo to acknowledge that it's going on and if men do admit it, they often are looked down on.
So a downward spiral they go.
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
@@omiunusamson9978 That's a dick move.... He didn't say anything about getting back his ex.... please stop.
You can only save the spider or the butterfly not both. thats why.
That's their choice. I care about myself. Y'all guys should too. At the end of every day, partner, roomies, parents or whatever, you only have yourself. Everyone else becomes a bonus
Sperm is cheap. Mean are cheap. No one cares about cheap things.
I really appreciate this video. My wife and best friend passed away after a 6 year battle with cancer. Loneliness is devastating and such a quiet struggle. No one even notices, especially in men. Thank you for making this video. Gives me a little hope. If you know someone struggling, don’t try to fix them. Just don’t let them feel alone.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this, I know there are so many men out there suffering in silence. Hugs ❤️
@@CourtneyRyan thank you for your condolences. Also, thanks for helping…people, especially us men. At times we really need it. Subscribed 🙂
Yes! Me too. My loneliness is entirely about being permanently and painfully without my wife, who passed away, who passed on July 30, 2023.
I wasn't sure if this topic only covered those men who have severe dating and/or relationship challenges. Then I saw your comment.
Loneliness is one thing I indeed struggle with, and even isolation! What's helped me since relocating last year was I got into martial arts and it helped that one of my instructors is in the military, as I once served myself! From there, I started growing my pool of new people. I still talk to my mentors about things like these to this day!
I hope this helps
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
I call it insulation not isolation.
@@raularmas317 hmm
Care to explain why
@@ghosttheprogram6973 I thought it was rather self-explanatory.
As the person most scapegoated= least economically independent in my family of origin I felt conditioned to be a people-pleaser or I would be punished.
I felt I had no other choice than to stay as far away from other people as I could.
I could not handle the level of responsibility they assumed I could simply by virtue of my physical age.
I was an emotional and psychological burnout at the age of 5.I was constantly stressed out.
I had to get away from as many people as possible and especially those unsafe people who would use or manipulate me for their own gain without my conscious awareness.
@@raularmas317 I meant why you feel insulation is a better fit than inoculation 😂
But mehn you had it tough
But I don't think actively trying hard to avoid people is the best solution
Connection doesn't necessarily mean a relationship - as an old guy, I can tell you that being married to the wrong person was also the only time in my life I felt lonely. Now being single, I've never felt lonely as I have my friends and family back.
Theres a MASSIVE amount of BPD and bipolar out there
the Judge knows if YOU dont baby her there will be a pop crash.
@@Syncrotron9001 BPD, bipolar and the cluster B spectrum mostly result in children being ignored in their first three years of life - and always feeling abandoned. It'll be on the rise since kids are more about status now than our next generation.
@@dadteaches Get ready for men with guns to force you to marry bipolar
@@dadteaches if soemone doesnt baby them the pop crashes
Just curious: how many women have had good friendships with nice guys who obviously had a crush, but didn't pursue it because you didn't want to ruin the friendship? How many nice guys have regularly, or even always, found themselves in this position? How long before those friendships faded? I've been reading a lot of things that say women are getting pickier, looking for emotionally available men who can and want to communicate. If that's the case, why do I still feel like nice guys finish last, and I really hope there's something I'm missing when I hear about guys like Nick Cannon?
Women who are "just friends" with guys are not really "friends." Those women are egotistical narcissists. They will stab you in the back. They are dead wood in your boat. Throw them overboard.
Nice guys finish last because women love drama.
Nice guys don't finish last, they never get to start. The nice guy ends up being the step daddy simp for another man's kids and getting the woman that's past her prime, bitter as hell and ran through. Being nice to a woman will tell her that you're weak and expendable. They don't think or process information like men do. All secrets to how women operate have been unlocked thanks to the Internet and video hosting sites like this one.
@@rufusmcgee4383The only women that actually like drama are the ones that want to avoid real life issues or fill a void in their life
@@Clustersey You have just described virtually every woman I have ever met.
A female standing up for us men....
. A round of applause for our truly Courtney🤗🤗🤗
Now I'll watch the video😅
@@zaidthakur4117 what ur insta i m lonly
Get real, she is just saying this becauses it get views. IRL she like so many others will not give a Flying F for you.
To be honest, she is doing it for the views and for the money. She talks about wanting a community here on UA-cam. What exactly does that mean? Comments. She wants more people to comment, because that is what boosts the youtube algorithm. If more people comment on her videos, she gets more attention, views and money.
This is a business for her first and foremost. Remember this.
@@eduardojardim6852 It easy to talk about things that affected other for decades Just before It your turn to be affected because the chain of things
It is a shame how this stuff doesn't get talked about as much. People don't seem to care much about men these days. Women even perpetuate damaging stereotypes of men, thinking men are valued more, and that they don't need to look out for as much.
"These days"? This has been happening for DECADES!
@@thefox47545 Okay, you're not wrong.
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
But why are men lonley? is it because they dont ask? or because no one says yes?
@@Syncrotron9001 depends on what you mean. If you mean relationships, it could be either. If you mean with friends, it's part of society. I have an ok amount of friends, but only one I can actually talk about tough things with because it's too much "we're guys and we just BS" with the others.
Im 22 years old and just fully realizing what it means to be a man. It is a tough, lonely exisistance and really society has no answer. Purposlessness in a feminine society that doesnt appreciate us or our masculine attributes. Working out in the sunshine doing hard yakka helps, doing martial arts or hobbies are great. Everyone says "just talk about it" always women say this, but like many others as soon as i open up the girl leaves without a second thought. Im good at talking to people and get a few girls a year but shit its hard. Shallow, meaningless relationships are the norm now and the deep ones we have we are seperated by distance or by the online games everyone plays. I am working to get better, but starting late is fucking hard. Stay strong lads, suicide isnt the option to fix it, self improvement is.
Coming out of a 7 year relationship this has been the biggest hurdle. I've done my healing and moving on but I can't shake the feeling of lonliness. Going from talking, listening to and loving someone ever day to well nothing has been jarring to say the least. She cheated so that only made it worse I feel like. This video helped though didnt realise it was such a common issue. Gives a guy hope
It will get better bud. Hope you are doing well
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
@@s.beccari4678 I appreciate it! I am doing leagues better than I was a couple months ago that's for sure.
Sup Alec, I would suggest getting into any art or sport that has a community. It helped me
Bro, I know what you mean. It’s tough trying to figure out what to do with yourself after you’ve become accustomed to dedicating your life to someone else. I guess we need to find new hobbies that aren’t such solitary time consumers.
Loneliness is truly one of the most difficult things someone can experience. Life is pretty simple, people just need a little bit of love and connection.
Loneliness is difficult at first, but once youve been alone for long enough, a switch flips, at least for me it did. I got over it, and now I truly enjoy being alone. To the point where I have people I can hang out with but choose not to. Its a mental game, but im sure not everyone feels this way. I got over it after 4 years alone. Had my last relationship when I was 18, Im 26 now and the happiest ive ever been.
Ya if you actually believe in love....
The best advice that I can give young men struggling with loneliness in general:
It is VERY important that you get a creative hobby, not watching football or things like that, but something that enables you to transfer your deepest thoughts and feelings into what you create, like music, lyrics, art or wood working etc. etc. It has a therapeutic effect like nothing else. Trust me, it will calm your nerves and open doors for you in so many ways, also socially :)
I know I’ve struggled with this, and still do to this day. As a single male of 38 years, I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older and my friends have gotten married and have kids, I get less and less time with the friendships I’ve had over the years. It’s gotten to the point where I just go to work and then go home to spend time with my dog, who’s my best friend. Sadly, he’s also been diagnosed with an aggressive and malignant form of melanoma. They told me I’ll have 1-5 months with him if I do nothing, or maybe a year if I put him through tons of surgeries, X-rays, chemo, melanoma vaccines, more testing, etc. It would be selfish of me to put my best friend through all of that for an extra 6 months or so, and they wouldn’t be quality months, for him. So I’ve chosen to do nothing and just love him as much as possible and cherish my time with him. As of June 1st, it’s been 7 months and he’s still going strong and showing no signs of anything being wrong.
I’m hoping the doctors got it all during the first surgery and are wrong with their prognosis…but when that day does come, I’m going to be completely alone. My best friends have moved out of state, and my current used-to-be best friend has recently gotten married and I never see him anymore. I bring it up to him in a joking manner, but nothing changes. We’ll make plans for weeks in advance to hang out, and he’ll back out last minute. It really sucks. Also, when he was dating his girl, she started texting me and messaging me in ways that made me feel uncomfortable. I guess he and she were going through a rough patch at that time, which I didn’t know, but the way she was messaging me and sending me certain emojis just felt more than being friendly. I didn’t say anything to him at first, because you can’t unring that bell, but they broke up, so I told him and showed him the texts. I never responded back to her in the way she was texting. I’d even bring up his name multiple times in my texts, because it felt awkward. They were broken up for about a week or two. He told me how much he appreciated me and that me being the person I am is why he loves me, but he also said he didn’t want me talking to her anymore. I told him I had no interest. Then they got back together a week or so later. So then there’s this dynamic where I can’t even hang out with my best friend because of the drama that happened between the three of us. So he basically had to choose hanging out with her, or me. They’re now married, and I was in the wedding…my first time seeing her or speaking to her since all that went down. But now he’s always with her and I can’t even get to see somebody who used to be a best friend.
Compound that with the fact that my ex girlfriend used to be my next-door neighbor. She had three kids and couldn’t have more, and that was always something I wanted for myself- to be a father and carry on my family name, as I’m the last in line. That definitely puts pressure on me and I know how badly my parents want grandkids, and I want kids for myself. Me ex got mad at me because she said I was “just interested in sex and playing around because we weren’t engaged or living together after a year”. Mind you that I wanted to take my time and figure out if it’s right for me because she had three kids and I definitely didn’t want to rush things if it wasn’t right for me. I had to determine if I was willing to give up something I’ve wanted all my life, and if my life with her would be worth it. She would try to guilt me in that way or claim I just wanted sex when I would always do nice things for her, do my yard work and then go next door and do hers, I’d do fun things with the kids and take them to the movies, the zoo, the aquarium, I paid for her boys to play football and for her daughter to go to a JoJo Siwa concert, etc. I helped her with her bills, kept the electricity on so the kids wouldn’t be without, paid a rent a center bill so the kids wouldn’t lose their beds, paid to help get her van out of repo, etc. Basically she saw me as a means to an end because I was stable, had a good job and good money. She saw me as somebody who could take care of her, her three kids and her poor choices. But because we weren’t engaged or living together, she used that as a justification to lie to my face, go behind my back and start sleeping with other men. I paid for her boys to play football…she slept with their coach, then lied to me about it when she got home and was beaten up a bit. She said she was out with the football moms, they had too much to drink and a fight broke out. Nope, his wife caught them and beat her up.
Living next to her was the worst kind of hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Once I found out about the infidelity, I had to watch as different random guys she just met would come over and spend the night. She was with 6 guys in about 13 months, and there was no way for me to avoid seeing it. She figured if she could give up her body, then maybe some guy will stick around and take care of her. I pity her, but she’s not my problem anymore. I did move away from there and bought a new house, which has been great for my mental state. I never intended to commit suicide, but being in that situation and not being able to escape my own personal hell, those thoughts started entering my mind. Again, no intentions of doing anything, but those thoughts in my head was something I didn’t like at all. When I moved out, she had even turned the kids against me. The kids I was contemplating taking on as my own and giving up a life where I could father my own children…now wouldn’t look at me or even talk to me. I left them a goodbye note in her driveway with their sidewalk chalk, telling them how much I loved them and that I’d always keep them in my heart and my mind. It was purely evil what she did to me.
So now I’m in a better place, but still feeling completely alone. I’m a quiet introvert who doesn’t enjoy the bar/club scene. I do work out a lot, but girls in the gym usually have headphones in and don’t want to be bothered. I’ve tried online dating, but I haven’t really found what I’m looking for, and haven’t had a good match yet. It’s a bit disheartening. I work in a field where I don’t get much human interaction (BMW Master tech of 15 years), so meeting women through work is hard. We have a newer woman in sales who I like a lot. She’s super nice, gorgeous, interesting, kind-hearted, etc…but I’ve heard she doesn’t like to date people from work. (I kind of asked another worker to put in a good word for me). Whether or not she truly means that or she just isn’t interested in anyone at work (not sure if she knew I was the one interested) I don’t truly know. So that was a bit of a gut punch, since she’s the first girl I’ve really been interested in since having my heart ripped out. I’ve still been going up and talking with her, making excuses to go up front to sales to steal away a few minutes of time with her, hoping to build some sort of friendship that can become more. Kind of has me stuck in the middle of wanting to be more and asking her out, or does that make me an ass for not respecting her boundaries of not wanting to date anyone from work. Haha who knows at this point. I’m not trying to force anything, but I’m hopeful, regardless. And we’re a big enough place where the two different departments don’t really have a lot of interactions, so it’s not like we see each other all the time…so if we just didn’t hit it off for whatever reason, it wouldn’t be super awkward.
As for now, I guess I’m just going to enjoy whatever time I’m lucky enough to have with my wrinkly, furry best friend. My sweet bulldog, Diesel. But yes, many of us men feel this kind of loneliness that can be debilitating and lead you to dark times. Sorry for the long comment. I don’t expect anybody to read or reply. Maybe it’s just cathartic letting it out and venting a bit.
@DknollRX7 I hope you find what you are looking for....Peace and blessings friend.
@@smileyglitter852 thank you for that! I hope you find somebody special as well, or hold onto that person if you’ve already found them. I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness you deserve.
Single for 38 years but you say you have had an ex-girlfriend?
@@nobodysperfect06 a single male who is 38 years of age. I didn’t mean that I’ve never had a girlfriend.
@@dknollRX7 how long was your longest relationship and when was the last time you had a girlfriend
A man can never know the depths of true loneliness until he is with a wife that makes him feel alone.
Real talk 👊🏾
🤦🏽♂️ at least that man has someone stop complaining. Do something take a trip tell her she makes you feel alone but not having anyone is worst.
@@Jmelpegues Clearly you've never been in a relationship with a covert narcissist.
@@Jmelpegues Seriously? I'd much rather be all alone than stuck in a marriage where she berates me and denies my thoughts as feelings
Nah, losing the person you love most is far worse... you can always leave a person that makes you feel alone, but you can't get back a love that no longer exist
dating apps absolutely ruined everything for the average man.
Loneliness is terrible because when you're in it, the tendency is to keep isolating yourself. It's a legitimate health concern. The irony of it is just how well connected this world is.
Thank you for covering this topic Courtney. This channel is evolving very nicely.
My opinion: A person cannot speak on a topic that hasn't experienced it. There's no credability. As a Divorcee lonelyness is a real topic with Men but I found a way to master it and it's probably the only way we as men can solve this issue. It's to help out another guy who is lonely, be there for him. :Hows it going man, hang in there you are doing great! Keep trying you will get there....Most men aren't even getting those messages from their spouses! If we all did that for one guy without expecting anything in return it will be a better place. Some of us just need that bit of encouragement or to know that someone really cares!
Totally agree with you, despite that I like Courtney's videos, and I deeply appreciate that she raises this really overlooked topic, but young attractive woman, living in densely populated area can't for real know what loneliness really is.
as a divorced man a good friend was this person for me. he has really helped me get my life on a track I feel hopeful about.
Did you even watch the video? She said that she had struggles with being alone and meeting people. She decided to take action, step out of her comfort zone and make connections. It's on you to improve your station in life, no matter how challenging it is.
Excellent response. That's what a true friend, a real man does. Do something to lift another up, without expecting anything in return. I believe God shows the thumbs up on such actions. Also charity helps too. Very positive. Peace
@@AllergicToAshAndDust she is a woman not a man . N being alone n being lonely are two different things.
If you have the extra time to do it pick up a second job that makes you interact with people. When I was in school I worked two part-time jobs as an Uber driver and bartender. I was an introvert with no social skills but those side gigs really helped sharpen me up and become a lot more outgoing, and I still meet up with the regulars now and again. Socializing feels completely natural now, compared to what it used to be for me
We all have to get out of our comfort zones and build up our social skills. It's good to hear your outlook and side of things.
Did you meet women? Cuz I improved my social skills a lot but I only talk with guys
Had that 2nd job was sexually assaulted by a woman I had just saved her life. Found out my boss hired her to sexually assault me. You cannot make this up
The problem with loneliness is that it doesn't really have a solution. You can't force women to be partners with these men nor can you force the man to change everything about his personality just to suit other people.
Your partly right you can only change if you want to change. Most men think they cant change but i call bullshit to that one. Its a matter if they really want to change.
@@Lightflames85 this is nothing but FAX
Pretty much... The red pill act like any man can look max to the point they will become sexually attractive, or a man can change his personality and can become naturally funny to the point women can be attracted to him for it.. I would say the vast majority of men cannot change their looks to the point they will become sexually attractive to women by their looks only, and an even lesser percent of men can change their personality to the point they can develop a very attractive personality for females to get interested in them.. The black pill is going to become more and more common as the years go by once more and more men realize women are only truly sexually attracted to as little as 5% of men
Today I’m going to the super market and I’m going to buy myself a ton of chips. I’ll then drive around in my car. Next girl I see, I’m going to roll the window down and throw a bunch of crumbled chips at her. I’ll make sure it gets in her hair too. Then I’ll drive off and look for more women to throw chips at.
I’ll even have a bag of tomatoes.
@@Filthy_Larry lol
Loneliness is lack of meaning in life, meaning that means something to YOU. You can have all the friends in the world and still feel lonely.
Yes
Yeah that's what I've been going through in life; lack of meaning...but I'm trying to work in that.
@@13abcde check out your city’s website, it should have local events on a calendar. Force yourself to attend social events. Use this to increase your conversational skills. It takes practice just like anything else.
And you can be alone and not feel lonely.
👏🏼
I had a group of friends that had A LOT of sexual encounters in our late teens to mid 20's. I had one really young and never had any other sexual encounters until I was 25 and within one year had over half a dozen. I don't know what it was that suddenly made me attractive to women. But what I certainly know why I wasn't, was three things.
1. Putting women on a pedestal. Believing it's up to women to say if you're worthy or good looking enough and thinking all women find you attractive, so you put pressure on yourself.
2. Being non-approachable, always being in a tight unit of males... it's one thing to look tough to other groups of men, as you do when you're young. But girls just don't want to know. but also (as step 1.) thinking every opportunity to talk to a girl is all about sex and flirting and "does she fancy me".
3. Don't watch porn, don't follow women on insta just for eye candy... it's toxic, stay away and respect women.
I meet women when playing harmonica
You’re doing something so incredible for the people who need this advice just by offering it, and I’m grateful to know there are people like you out there helping them out. Much love ❤️
While I can't really get into my story here I'll just say that loneliness has taken me over, body and soul. There is no way out. It's a stigma too. Every time I try and bring it up with friends or family all they say is "you are not alone" or "suck it up" or "everything happens for a reason" and my personal favorite, "other people have it worse." None of that is helpful. It's dismissive and belittling. People have no sense of compassion or understanding. They don't want to hold the space and listen. It makes me feel so much worse. And more alone. I hate my life. I cry every single day and night. There's no hope and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm far away and isolated from everyone who cares (or used to care). There is no human connection in my life. Nothing meaningful anyway. I'm also dealing with a few physical problems too so getting around is hard. I'm usually too exhausted by the end of the day to want to do anything. I keep thinking back to when I was healthy, vibrant and involved in so many positive activities. I was always surrounded by people I love. I'm afraid I'll never get back to that. I feel like my heart has been killed off. It's really bad.
🥺 I wish I could give you a hug. I hope you know there are people that do care and want to help. Rooting for you, Brian!
@@CourtneyRyan thank you ❤️
dude I feel my blood boil when people say everything happens for a reason. Uh no the fuck it don't. im sorry brother I deal with it as well. and it fucing sucks
I understand how you feel, it's like life loses it's purpose or something. I've cried so much over the years that tears don't even come out anymore... you just kinda lay there as your soul cries from within
@Stevo I feel the same way, but I have tried to kill myself and got scared... I realized I didn't want to die, just want to feel okay again. There's something in us that wants to keep going... guess that's hope 🤷🏽♂️
Hey Courtney…You are truly blessed to be able to have this channel to confront some of the issues that men have, especially coming from someone like me (a man) who has definitely dealt with all of this you are talking about in this video. It is a tragedy that we feel lonely and sometimes without purpose. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world and I combat it every day. Please continue to work hard to keep your channel speaking up and about things like these, I love your videos on the other subjects as well! 😊❤️
Did it ever get better for you?
I think loneliness is exacerbated by modern tech. Online interactions trick you into thinking you're filling your social needs, when the hard truth is that we were wired for face-to-face personal interaction.
I thought the same thing. But I realized if you're lonely even with online tech you need to take a look at your life and relationships.
This is true and I think it tricks a lot of people on dating apps. Matches, chats and the notifications they bring seem to be fulfilling for many and so they lack the motivation to meet in person. I was fooled by chasing notifications at one point, in truth.
Dating apps are only good for profits. So many facets of life are being monetized, and it’s hurting the quality of life.
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation..
I k.n.o.w o.f a m.a.n w.h.o h.e.l.p m.e g.e.t m.y e.x b.a.c.k..
One of the hardest parts that wasnt mentioned is when you finally meet someone and are able to connect with them, unfortunately live happens, and you both go your separate ways. You lose a very close friend and are back to square one. But, I'm trying to fix that. I've definitely stepped out side my comfort zone this year, started taking dancing classes. I've meet some great people and it gives me something to look forward to 2x a week.
Dancing is fun too!As well as a great way to meet people!
I feel you. That is the result of a broken heart. Sometimes I feel like I was better off by myself instead of surrounding myself with people who make you feel lonely in their company or they just turn their back on you. It hurts.
many times I have opened up to someone about something I’m vulnerable or sensitive about only for them to use it against you in an argument not long after.
Experiencing things like that make you lose the willingness to trust people and open up to them about your vulnerabilities.
Thank you for addressing this issue. It is real and underestimated majorly... Loneliness can create some serious mental health problems for us. I've been dealing with it for almost 10 years now when I moved overseas from my hometown. I've found the solution that helps me through it is to find peace in solitude and balance in all things. Always practice gratitude and keep yourself away from negative thought. Because, who's going to pull you out when you drift to far? No one. Stay content, keep your morals strong always do the right thing and move with integrity. Find a productive hobby, workout or do some work. But don't let yourself go and never dwell into oblivion.
Lonely is an understatement.
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
I’m lonelier now than ever and I’m now 300 pounds as a result of it. This video has played a part in realizing its up to me. Our lives are now. Thank you ma’am.
You got this!
Good man! May I suggest you have a look at Andrew Huberman's great UA-cam presentations on how to boost your dopamine. They really changed my outlook and improved my life a lot. 2 years ago I had a head injury which caused a stroke. I was overweight and deeply depressed. Learning to adjust my own brain chemistry lead me to a level of happiness and health I couldn't have imagined a year ago.
#1 problem in my life right now. Remote work made it 5x worse too. It’s a horrible feeling. An empty pit in your stomach that eats you from the inside out. And there’s no easy way out of it. Not a feeling I’d wish on anyone. If anyone else is lonely, at least know you’re not the only one struggling
This is exactly how it's been for me too. I moved back in with my family because I couldn't handle the loneliness anymore. It was but a band-aid; However, I'm no longer in fear of doing something stupid.
This is so true. I am currently going through this atm. It feels like an unending cycle and there’s just no way out. It’s pretty damn hard.
Day by day, small changes and pushing your comfort zone. Can take a while but try new things, if no luck, rinse and repeat. Your tribe is out there.
Go your own way.
Just smoke weed ,eat and exercise it helped!
See you at the gym, king 👑
I’m 38 with no living family members left. I’ve never been married. After my last relationship ended I’ve stayed single for 3 years now. I’m a tall wide shouldered cowboy type man and I have zero problems getting women to be attracted to me. The problem is ME. I’ve had a few chase me the last 3 years and I avoid it like a disease. It’s like I’m so lonely that I’m afraid if I meet someone new then something will just come and take it away from me. I’m afraid to let someone make me happy again. It’s like I’d rather just stay alone and lonely than suffer any more loss. It’s pitiful and I’m ashamed of it. But at least I’m honest. I’m not going out and laying a different woman every weekend just because I can. Hurting other people doesn’t help me
After I broke up with the woman I thought was ‘The One’ , I remember walking through a mall in North Seattle full of people with a life and thinking this is the loneliest I’ve ever been.
I should’ve apologized to the women I went out with at that time because I wasn’t really all there.
Same brother, same. Time heals wounds. Trust me!
It’s good to note that being alone and being lonely are very different. I choose to be alone, but by no means am I lonely. I don’t have a girlfriend nor am I actively dating right now, but I talk to and hang out with tons of people despite that. Being social is part of working on yourself. Good shit, Courtney.
Co sign
Gets worse with the passage of time, classmates started to drift apart after graduation in 20s, moved to another country in 30s not knowing anybody, people at work are all acquaintances, ageing parents will not be around long and soon to be permanently alone.
This is why I am starting my UA-cam channel. I am going to create a community with young adults who really want to self improve. Self improvement to enhance your mental , fitness, communication, spiritual, financial, and education. My purpose is to help people. I do it at my gym and now I want to do it nationwide.
It's interesting to see that she genuinely seems to be convinced that solutions that work for women also work for men.
"Connect on social media" is nothing but hilarious. When a guy messages any woman on social media, no matter which platform, he will either be ignored or burned down. No in-between.
She doesn't say a word on the real cause of this problem: the way women handle interest from men and the way social media has completely fucked up dating for any guy that doesn't have all three sixes *and* looks like Brad Pitt.
First of all, that's not true. The success rate of talking to women online is low, sure. But it's not zero, I've made a bunch of really important relationships from just starting conversations with women online. Both platonic and romantic. And here's a little cheat code for you, it's actually easier to talk to women online if you give them friendly energy and don't in any way try to go beyond that line. If you think the only purpose women have in your life is for sex and romance, that might be a big part of why you get ignored and burned down so much
Secondly, the point of this video is that it's just as important to cultivate platonic male friendships as well. So you should also be trying to connect on social media with other men and build those relationships that way. You tunnel visioning on the male female dynamic is saying more about your own personal pessimism than it is about the validity of anything in the video.
She tells people to really spend the time personalizing each message you send on dating apps even though she knows half of the accounts are either fake or just there for validation. "she" will NEVER tell you to avoid online dating its her spidersweb.
I believe she was referring to friendships in general, not just romantic partners. Some men don’t have any close friends to even just hang out with. Her comment, I believe, was aimed at making online connections with new potential friends more so than partners.
Maybe if you’re not weird about it. Scroll their feed and see something they’re in to that you also like and connect thru that
@@EthanRom stay off of social media at all costs
Thanks for bringing up the whole onlyfans thing courtney. It always astounded me how men could be so enamored with these para-social relationships. And also thanks for bringing up that they most likely aren't talking to the girls. Funny story I actually met a gay guy who handles chats for a model. And he said that he actually has to take breaks because it makes him sad to see how lonely these men are.
And women have the gall to say that men have the power in dating and relationships.
I prefer real professional porn to OnlyFans, I wish OF would just die off
I am actually a male OF creator and my audience is 90% men (gay) and I handle all my own chatting and honestly it can be very heartbreaking
The thing about solitude is that it is truly a double edge sword. It could be the most peaceful place to be in but also the most dangerous place to be in mentally. Stay strong ya’ll
Weeds will give your solitude a whole new meaning, trust me.
One thing you can always do for fun is full up a super soaker with urine and then hide behind bushes and spray people walking by with high pressured piss coming at them. Be sure to drink plenty of water and beer so you can always have a steady supply of piss in order to urinate on people with a super soaker.
It's different for us men. We basically have to go through hell alone. I've been seeking a relationship I was so desperate I ended up falling for someone who has someone that texted and called but never came around we never went on dates etc. I also don't have anyone to talk to who understands all of my friends are in relationships or married they say pay a female to connect with. I've thought about it honestly that's how lonely I am.
Same dude. But I wouldn’t pay someone to give you attention. Don’t let their egos and feelings of self worth skyrocket while your depression skyrockets at the same time.
You need to develop a relationship with Christ and pray for God to send you a wife.
@@ms.a806 piss off with that religious cope.
Remember guys, it's ok to let talk about your problems and be vulnerable...but not to any woman you seek a romantic relationship with. They WILL judge you and it will destroy the relationship. This is where your friends and family come in.
We as men need to get on that I LOVE YOU MAN, Paul Rudd tip and make some effort. Just bc your married or older than 30 doesnt mean u cant meet new guys. Stop being prideful, start being open. Closed mouths dont get fed. And its not weird or s*xual. Its bonding, its communication, its finding comfort; its fight club. We're out there.
These last 2 years have been the most lonely I’ve ever experienced. I went from having a great friend circle and social life, to looking up how to start a conversation with a stranger without being crippled by anxiety or depression. Can’t remember the last time someone reached out because they wanted to see me. After a year of failing at making new friends or meeting people I subconsciously just gave up and don’t see it changing anytime soon. The highlight of my week is when I go out to dinner for my cheat meal
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
@Stevo I’ve been there man… I recommend seeking help. Either therapy or going to find new hobbies or interests. Even if you’re not that into it just go to experience and learn new things. But stick around, there are better days up ahead, homie 🖤
Eastern Promises is one of my favorite films.
@@JohnDoe-gq3tm my man! 😎
I'm extremely lonely and recently recognized that. I'm working on it.
On the suicide note... Something that scared the hell out of me as I was in the process of taking my mental health seriously was a statistic I heard about the spontaneity of suicide amongst men. Some exorbitant number of male suicides (maybe 75%) were spontaneous decisions made within a 24 hour period. Let that sink in for second... If you're someone that struggles with depression and/or some level of suicidal ideation, you absolutely NEED to seek help and be willing to put the work in for yourself. As someone that has struggled with depression for 2/3 of my life, and as someone that has had suicidal thoughts, I know that for myself and a lot of the others like me that I've talked to, we don't actually want to kill ourselves. We want to end a part of ourselves. A part that experiences deep levels of pain and loneliness.
Eh, as a guy in '22, I wouldn't be much of a loss tbh. Been rejected all my life, it is what it is.
stay heathy folks, people care about you, even if it doesn't feel like they do. You are strong. Keep pushing.
Personally I’d like this world better without me in it. A world where one less person has to feel casted out and constantly shat on for feeling regular/normal stuff by this absolute shitshow of a society sounds pretty good to me. Fuck it all
@@Jaydon0054 People love you, don't go through, with what you are planning to do. I beg you.
…all I know is that when I’m not running on 100%, I go seek professional help. Why won’t most men go seek therapy❓❓❓❓❓😕😕😕
I’m not lonely. I’m with myself, the greatest and most loyal, passionate and intimate relationship there is. What are friends? They’re for the most part a distraction from your self. Most people cannot be alone and cover their anxiety with numerous superficial relationships. Been there, done that. It’s my life and it’s my time which is the most valuable thing.
I'm an introvert and enjoy my alone time, but have still experienced loneliness. During COVID, I started a new job and began living by myself. I worked the graveyard shift and grew to dislike the job quickly. I had been used to being single for quite some time at that point, but this time it felt different. I was alone with my thoughts more, I couldn't socialize, and my mental health took a decline. While I liked being independent and living alone, the pandemic and my work schedule just made me super lonely. However, I was never desperate enough to pay someone to talk to me, or talk to someone I wasn't interested in just to fill that hole in my life. I've been able to overcome loneliness throughout my 20s by not letting it dictate my life or define who I am. And while I feel down about remaining single and our cold dating climate from time to time, I know I have to keep going if I want a meaningful connection with someone. And your channel (which I just recently found and have been binging), has given me a boost. So thank you!
One thing I would say is don’t be afraid of reaching out to your current friends. I’ve always struggled with this, and eventually a lot of friends stopped asking to hang out since they were always initiating.
Don’t be afraid to ask your friends to hang out! If they ask you to chill, and you’re never asking them, they’ll wonder if you even want to see them.
1000%
I am alone most of the time, but I rarely ever feel lonely. When I was younger I felt _inadequate_ for always being alone, and I believed that was loneliness. Then someone important to me died, and I learned what loneliness actually felt like, and I realized that what I had thought was loneliness was really just dissatisfaction.
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
I k.n.o.w o.f a m.a.n w.h.o h.e.l.p m.e g.e.t m.y e.x b.a.c.k
Girls shame boys for being loners because they like them but they also instinctively seek out protection from a social group. If a boy doesn’t have friends she sees him as lacking in the resources she needs to feel safe. But in reality boys aren’t responsible for girls’ insecurities
I was functionally alone my entire life and at this point I'm just wondering if I'd even notice a difference given an actual genuine human connection.
From murdering to mass shootings is why men need help, but nobody help us…
Really feeling this one lately. Recently finished college and trying to find a job has left me with more free time than I'd actually like. It's made me feel extremely lonely and honestly praying for it to end soon
Yh don't
Try to be satisfied with yourself and enjoy yourself because if not it'll be very easy to become overly attached and dependent on the feeling of happiness or joy you get from being around others
@Reso The best advise i can give to you is to become your own best friend, do what you like to do and work on the person you want to become. If you stil feel lonely after doing that then just remember we are all alone in the world and you should not punish your self for being lonely. Learn to accept it and then find at way to change your life.
@@Lightflames85
Word.
LISTEN TO THIS GUY.
I've had those times. B6
ut if YOU CANT BE HAPPY(much of the time, alone) YOU WONT BE TRULY HAPPY , longterm, with someone....
I KNOW. IT FEELS LIKE A FEMALE HUMAN WILL SOLVE IT ALL. You need MORE TIME ALONE if you feel that.
I'm sorry.
But ITS TRUE.
DEVELOP ONESELF.
Find more hobbies
Find meaningful hobbies, praying will not get you a solution unless you meditate
My default is always to white knuckle situations, especially loneliness. I've been single for 7 years now and not for a lack of trying. There have been lots of dates but hasn't clicked yet, but that has really taken a toll on me mentally and emotionally and exacerbate the loneliness even more.
Same here. I've been single for a while and going on dates. Even going further, but it always ends. Always fucking ends. When it does? It hurts so bad. It's happened so damn much that I've been conditioned to be numb to it. That's good in a way. Problem is that the numbness is just not crying my heart out. Inside, it actually hurts my heart physically. Sorry for rambling. I have more but I'll leave it there.
My first girlfriend loved it when I showed my emotional side. I was very upfront about my feelings and express them to a selected few. Soon she began to tilt her screen away so I couldnt see. Then she betrayed me several times. I broke up. She got mad at me. I was devestated though and foolishly wanted to get back with her. She then used my feelings against me.
My second and last grirlfriend knew I was very kind before we got together. But once I opened up and showed a vulnerable side, she ghosted me. I assume she had something with another man.
Also non-relationships: whenever I opened up, I got hit in the face and stabbed in the back. I dont take anyone seriously that says "show your feelings". Nowadays there's even studies on how wives lost respect to their men, once they saw how they cried.
The "toxic masculinity" stuff is always pushed to us men. We are supposed to be harming ourselves. But the women's part is always ignored. And when someone does mention it, he is called a freak, an incel etc.
The worst thing you can do when you're lonely is do nothing (outside of work). You have to improve yourself, get into hobbies (gym, sports, clubs etc.) , volunteer, finish or start on a new project, anything to keep you moving and your mind preoccupied. Eventually in doing all of those things, you will naturally meet people, make new friends, and even meet someone you can date. Everyone goes thru a rough time at some point in their life. It is up to you on how you decide to tackle it. Sadly many take the easy route out by taking their own life, prove the world wrong and show them how valuable you are thru self-improvement and you will naturally attract others that will want to be around you. Don't be cocky. but be humble and confident in what you do.
Again, DOING NOTHING, is a soul killer. Make an effort to keep yourself preoccupied (in a positive way), preferably things that will improve yourself and self value. Anyone can change, it is up to YOU to make that change.
Thanks Courtney for highlighting this topic for many men that are suffering. Making a difference one pod cast at a time. 😁
100% agree with you mate
For me, the reason I feel so alone after studying abroad in the US for a year is that I feel like no one really wants to talk to me or like me. It always feels like a one-sided conversation or connection when I'm always the first one to approach or to say hi to someone. Whenever I don't approach first, they never talk to me back or never say hi and its like they pretend I dont exist if i dont interact first. Whenever I got someone's socials, I am always the one who texted first or the one who started a convo, Im also the one who always checks up on people but never get appreciated. Also no one ever checks up on me when Im alone here. I never get invited out anywhere as well, and I always get rejected or ghosted when i ask someone to hangout. I dont even know what to do anymore. At this point im just trying to cope with being lonely, without any friends, and living in a foreign country alone because it is excruciating to build social connections with people as a guy.
Don't pretend for one second that you understand or care about men and their loneliness.
If you did you wouldn't think the answer was to act and think more like a woman.
She cares. She just doesn't have a clue about the answer. I think she has good intentions
The type of connection is what I miss. Especially being a veteran. When I moved back home, all my friends had cultivated lives without me being there. It was hard to interject myself back into the circle; as I felt we grew in different directions. I have tons of “friends” and people I know. I do jiu jitsu 4 days a week. I lift 1-2 days a week. I hang out after class and we all talk. Sometimes we go out after for food or plan nights to all meet at a bar or restaurant. I talk to people at the gym in passing. I speak to my coworkers daily.
I get plenty of human interaction, but I don’t really get connection with any depth-which is discernibly different. I feel like I don’t find people who operate on the same wave length (not that mine is better or worse), or we don’t have anything in common other than the hobbies we share. So once we converse about something else, it becomes awkward and forced. The human interaction keeps me afloat and I am appreciative of it, but I am really missing that depth and unbreakable bond aspect of a brotherly type of friendship. And I’m 36. I’m like Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man 😂
ua-cam.com/video/MkKO3Dx2sDc/v-deo.html&t
it gets worse as you get older, at 66, I have very few friends left, cancer at 56 ended my career, so I'm home all the time almost
Well, according to statistics 36 percent of all men will die child less and lonely. I am part of that 36 percent but I am not complaining. Lots of focus on the negativity of being lonely but I guess alone and lonely works differently. I am wired to be alone and would probably have made an excellent light house keeper if that profession was still around.
Being single never bothered me before. As for being lonely. That's what friends and relatives are for.
Got extra room in that boat 🚢
Sad about lack of facial bones and height
Women will never understand how lonely men are.
Okay 🤷♀️☠️
I neglected my friends after marriage and lost them all over time. I relied on my ex wife for everything social. After divorce I was and still am adrift. I have a bunch of hobbies but sometimes I just want to hang out but nobodies around. Guys keep your friendships strong.
Let me guess she kept all of her friends though because you weren’t allowed to go out with the Boys without her permission
Friends suck too man your not missing out majority of people will back stab you in a heartbeat for money, women, to get ahead etc being alone is the way to go.
I'm not fluent in English, but want to help you. Don't be afraid to say "Sorry, i neglected you, and now i need you back in my life. Give me a chance." to your old friends. Maybe they still care :)
I sometimes feel lonely but then realize I'd rather be lonely than deal with a 24/7 emotional trainwreck that needs constant validation.
Lol sour grapes. Most of the guys on here are emotional wrecks.
@@aslater5 Speak for yourself
@@aslater5 Projection much? lol sounds like your the one who's the emotional wreck. Simp elsewhere beta.
But isn't that a good thing? Women seeking validation from us gives us validation! And vice versa. Why would anyone seek validation from someone they wouldn't desire?
I feel less lonley listening to your podcast over the week ❤. So wise for your years Courtney.
In the Bible it says, “ 18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
Wake up we are in the great delusion your Bible is mandella affected. It is a lie in here you are in a parallel timeline. This is a planned extinction
I feel loneliest when I'm in a large group such as in a bar. This situation makes me realize just how lonely I really am.
Felt the same in large gatherings as well even with acquaintances for so long I felt no one really has my back. Stay strong man this season will pass as all others do.
@Anonymous Guys.. I go to bar alone very rarely, but I start talking to bartender, waiter/waitress.. and you'd be surprised to find single ladies around the bar, waiting for someone to make a move and just start talking. Heck, even other males over there might give you an interesting night by sharing their lives a bit, you can see so much different perspective through another one's soul..
You know.. I always tell myself: okay, now I am alone, single. What do I have to lose to go outside, start a conversation, even if it goes nowhere with a girl, it doesn't matter, as I can only gain. I cannot lose because I end up being alone and single going back home.
So take a step up, sip a drink if you really need to muster some courage but yeah, you'd be surprised that others might be in the wait!!
As for being rejected, when you get rejected around 50-100 times, you'll see that it doesn't hurt at all, part of life, we move on..
Wishing you the best!
I feel like this every public place i go too
Don’t ever open up or be vulnerable around women. They WILL cheat or leave you. Very consistent pattern of behavior in my experience.
Lonliness is not caused by others, its when your mind tells you nobody cares about you, but power of mind can change this into solitude
And content which makes men more successful if they work on them selves and improve
I know its difficult to do because lonliness kills inside, but if we try, we can make every thing possible
❤🙏
I agree. Too many people blame electronic tech. Fact is if you feel lonely and want to blame tech you need to take a look in the mirror. If people don't like you in-person doesn't do anything. They don't even want to meet!
Examine your life and relationships. That's the cause of loneliness.
@@noobbotgaming2173 thats the truth bro
@@noobbotgaming2173 oooor it might be because they already set off 2056 "mushrooms" (you know like in adventure time)
@@noobbotgaming2173 now half the pop is 'tistic
@@noobbotgaming2173 judgement day will be hard for you after spending a lifetime condeming the sick and infirm
I think Introverts can deal better with being lonely compared to an Extrovert. We all feel lonely at times. I think being alone can be good for some people.
Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.
personally i love my alone time, im am an introvert 100% but that being said, being lonely as a man. Its the longing to have a deeper connection with someone. I have great co-workers and awesome friends, friends i seem myself growing old with. That being said i long for intimacy (not sex) someone i can express my feelings and my love too. Thats the loneliness that men feel instead of actually being alone all by yourself.
I am married, and I feel more lonely and used than I ever did single. 😔
I also feel more lonely in marriage. I ask my husband. He's happy and doesn't understand why I'm lonely.
@@lucyfromsiberia preety sure he'd enjoy spending time under and ontop of you
Eve was made for Adam, not the other way around. People are so faithless these days that they don’t believe truth. Women are more satisfied helping and being a part of a man’s goals, but instead they are focused in on their own things and then they wonder why they are lonely. But, if you read Genesis 3, you’ll realize that women have desired to rule over men since the beginning of time. Even in all these UA-cam channels one can find numerous women telling men how they should live. It is common sense that in a relationship only one can lead and the other follows. The tail does not wag the dog.
Why do you tolerate that?
Honestly this has been my life for as long as I can remember, and I’m about to turn 36 and will celebrate it alone. My family is toxic for me, I try to keep in touch but no one ask me to do anything, and when I ask them, it never leads anywhere. It’s frustrating, but I think a lot of people like me either get used to it or accept it. I worry how it’s impacting my health and happiness but it’s something I can’t fix on my own, so I just do things by myself. Part of the issue is I don’t know if other people really know how to deal with a lonely person, so it just reinforces negative thoughts patterns. Not trying to make this into a rant, but just saying as someone who’s had this issue, tried the things suggested in the video, seen therapist, and improved myself, it’s one problem that continues to remain, and I’m sadly not alone in that. But overall, thank you for bringing this to light, and hopefully this helps others and let’s them feel more connected and able to change things around.
I’m often alone, but never feel lonely. I enjoy and I’m comfortable with both - 1) being alone and 2) spending time with others.
This is so helpful, thank you for being so great!
I've grown up as an only child, and even though I've had cousins and friends all my life to talk to, I've still had to go through life alone when no one was around. But unlike most people who had siblings they complained about being alone more than I do. I guess I'm used to it in a way. I had one serious long term relationship my whole life and even through that, I did feel lonely even with her.
So loneliness is really a state of mind. You can choose to be comfortable in your own skin, keep yourself busy, and be your own best friend, or feel hopeless with nothing to strive for in life.
I'm 37, been alone and single most of my life. I used to get patches of depression and sadness from it. But now I don't know how to live any other way. I will probably never have kids or get married. With dating as it is, and women as entitled as they are, why would I want to do that anyway? I'm at peace alone. But I do like having friends with benefits.
This woman has a lot of good opinions and thoughts on the topic, and she even states that she doesn’t know how lonely men are that end up paying someone to talk to them, but then she goes on to say “I’ve been lonely and put myself in that position where friends invite me out to drink, but I say no and would rather stay home and work in my bed”. Being lonely and choosing to be alone are very different. True lonely people live in virtual isolation. Simply existing is all lonely people do. They don’t have anyone asking me to go drink with them, they don’t have anyone wishing them happy birthday, happy holidays, inviting them to weddings, etc. I’ve been out of college 3 years now and yet to go anywhere or do anything with anyone other than immediate family (mother and sister). When I look at my recent calls/texts, it’s virtually 100% automated messages or family. Besides the one or two family events a year, like Christmas, lonely people (me included) live life completely invisible. If I were to quit my job, not a single soul would know where I am or who I am. I haven’t left my house (besides going to work and get food) in 3 years. It’s getting to the point that, if out of the blue, and old friend messaged me asking to meet up, I don’t think I could because it’s such an unnatural experience. I wouldn’t even have any good clothes I could wear. The pressure it would put on me the days in advance would be so overwhelming I feel like I would cancel the plans. Once you have been lonely long enough, it changes from an emotion into your personality. Being lonely is like a parasite, and once it grabs a hold of most people, it changes them. I have changed. 16 year old me would be so proud of my career achievements so far, but would be so disappointed in my utter lack of social interests. At this point, the only thing keeping me going is hope for the future, and hope that some of the sacrifices I have made for my promising young career can be worth something later in life, for my own family. But once that hope is gone, and one day it probably will be, I’m not sure what I’ll have to look forward too anymore.
I feel this changed my mindset and perspective on talking to or interacting with women, I read it on a forum, I thought the guy hit the nail right on the head.
It changed my perspective and mindset on talking to women.
A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice
"It bothers and annoys, enrages me or pisses me off a lot when people use the word practice, because the way I see it, for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men, because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first"
I thought to myself, never truer words have been said or spoken.
I thought that was bang-on right there.
and i got a response from a dating coach on youtube, which enraged and pissed me off more, while I don't disagree with him, I just don't like how he said the brutal cold harsh fact of how different for men and women when it comes to getting better at talking to and interacting with the opposite sex.
It makes sense and I like to believe there is far more advice for guys in the world on how to talk to and interact with girls then there is advice for girls on how to talk to and interact with guys.
He said:
"Don't worry about what other people don't have to do or why something is easier for them or whatever the comparison may be. Focus on you, where you want to be, what you need to do to get there and then get moving."
That pissed me off more when I read that.
Another reason why I don't like it is because it feels or seems like the way a guy talks and interacts with people or a guy's social skills, the way he behaves around others, has a much bigger impact on his attractiveness or ability to get a girlfriend then the other way around. As in, the way a girl talks or a girl's social skills doesn't impact her attractiveness or ability to get a boyfriend as much as it does for a guy to get a girlfriend. Men need to focus more on the behavioral aspect than women do when it comes to attracting someone it seems. The main reason why i hate that, is because guys, men, can unfortuneately be labeled creepy or weird in interactions or social situations with women, even if the guy, man, never meant any harm, was never trying to hurt the woman, the reverse isn't true though.
And due to men always having been expected to walk up to women and open our mouth, it makes more sense for the man to need to practice but not the woman.
If an interaction or conversation goes poorly or bad between a man and a woman,. It's always the guys fault, it's impossible for a woman to screw up a conversation or interaction with a guy, it seems.
It also kinda makes me mad because its another remind that it looks like men need to have better social skills than women do in order to attract someone. Because being able to attract someone primarily on your fertility and youth, physical beauty, isn't really something that needs practice or training, not something that needs to be taught.
I have suffered isolation in my childhood/teenage age since I went to school at age 7, this lasted until age 24. It was because of being different (I have disability) and was somehow hated by kids in school, because I was the only one person like that in the town and they hated me for being crippled, but still one of best students in school. Never had friends, I was always outsider, not because I wanted it, I was just forced to be. As a teenager any girl was interested in me - they prefered just to mock up me openly because somehow it was fun for them and I wasn't tall or handsome and it was not cool to date disabled person.
Hell, I was even being beaten by groups on simple footwalk and all people in school knew it.
I thought, I found friendship at age 17 in new school (last school level before universty) with a girl, at age 19 we started flirting massively, she seemed to reciprocate, she knew already that I love her and stopped trying with others, but then she ghosted me completelly out of sudden - months later she announced bf she met at exact time when she cut contact with me and her friends. That's how valuable was 3 years of friendship. Ghosting.
Only later I have realized it was inmature, blind love. She never actually initiated anything in friendship. She was only just talking with me as response to my initiative. And I was the only one bringing support to the table. She only flirted and took help from me.
School ended, final exams were done and I found myself more alone than I was feeling it before at age 19. Because I already knew the feeling of unhappy love and overall I lacked everything - having a friend, having romantic love, just any person I could talk. I have isolated myself more for next 4 years, caught mental breakdown, depression and listlessness. I lost any spark of joy. I couldn't even leave home. I couldn't find myself a job or study properly, my grades were getting bad and I started failing exams. I have started spending too much time just playing games, closed myself in my bubble. I forgot about all my hobbies I had - climbing, archery, bicycle, motorsport, collecting things like models of cars, books... It was terrible spiral that was getting worse and worse.
Depression and loneliness are the worst things can happen to someones mental health. I don't wish this to nobody.
I don't know I have survived. How I didn't went for alcohol, drugs, cigarettes. Just never wanted to do it because these things scare me, I don't see a point, why should I poison my body. Just...games and pornography to deal with high libido. No OF luckily, I still somehow kept my head on neck.
At age 24 I have spotted first changes for better. I was lucky, because there happened something, that was main key to trigger me out of depression. A friend. A girl, that had enough empathy and spark in herself to do something women do rarely - ask me out. She is my bestie now, she had already bf, but we clicked so well, but she is my buddy and our friendship exists since 2019. She knows everything about me and I know something about her. She is supportive and shows up everytime when I need her to talk. I can't ask for more, this is already a lot for me. She helped me a lot during crucial time.
Still struggling, but started having simple jobs, changed study and chasing dreams I have dropped long time ago. I study now, what I wanted always to do - aviation. Knowing that I can talk with someone gives me energy.
But working on myself slowly.
And started opening myself to the world.
I found myself again being in motorsport cirlcle, regaining slowly my passions.
Loneliness is still eating me sometimes. I have no experience in many things yet. But maybe someday I will find myself also in romantic mutual love, get first real kiss and more from life. I am now 26 and just starting having my life.
Even today I had nice banter with stranger girl in a tram. We both laughed.
I wish you All the Happiness in the World as you take your first steps into your New Chapter in your Life. Your past experiences has made you so much Stronger to be able to achieve what You won't.
Take care of yourself.
Andy.
Good for you. I hope you find peace, joy and love in this life journey. God loves you.
That's right Courtney. You don't understand, and you never will, because you are not a man. I say that as a fact, and not to be hurtful towards you. In fact I actually really do enjoy your videos and even subscribe to your channel. It isn't just men who treat other men like this, women treat men like shit too.
My loneliness has a bit of irony to it. Being surrounded by family members that fail to understand me at the most basic levels, I tend to isolate myself. It's also the reason I haven't dabbled in relationships, let alone friendships for some time. However I am planning on moving out and getting myself out there so I can hopefully at least get a roommate. Thank you for addressing this issue though. It gives a guy like me more hope than you think. :)
Honestly, I am more lonely than I've ever been. It caused me to really open up and allow myself to be vulnerable with others and I've have opened up about my loneliness and depression. I'm not sure how I'll get out of this, but this video is for me and I'll incorporate these tips.
My Dad would always tell me -
“just hang in there son”
So I do. Not because I want to, but to make him proud.
This video is so relatable and I really needed to listen to this and need to follow the advice given. Loneliness is one of the reasons why I suffer from depression. Thank you so much Courtney.
Social groups of and for men, and male spaces, have been under an ideological assault for a very long time. Men need to rebuild and re-establish those groups and spaces outside of, and away from, the presence of women. This will actually make for better relationships with women and better families.
100%
its kind of hard, sometimes such groups does not worth
Whenever a man establishes that idea to hang out with only other men, females think it's misogynistic or some other bullshit🤦🏽♂️
Agreed 100%
Nah men nowadays spend all their time on their women, it's how emasculated the society is now.
I'm gonna be that guy. I spent 2019-2020 feeling so lonely and hopeless, nothing was going right I hated my job and my life and I was struggling with my mental health. I had no one to turn to while my friend group has moved all over the area over the years and catching up once every other month isnt enough. Decided to join a new brazilian jiu jitsu gym and I immediately felt right at home. All of these men and women suffering and working to hone a craft and getting beat up together created a bond between me and everyone there. If I ever feel like I'm struggling I can always talk to someone there, whether it's my black belt or one of my fellow students. When I got my first stripe promotion was the first time I ever felt like I belonged somewhere, I never grew up being in sports or feeling like I had a group to be a part of. It was such a big deal to me i felt like crying. My bjj gym is my family these days we keep in touch on social media, do dinner after practice and work to lift each other up. I know that this is just my experience but if I could ever give advice from my pov try out a bjj class, it's scary and difficult but it could be the thing that changes everything. Much love guys don't give up, and thank you Courtney for addressing this loneliness epidemic that young men feel. You're the best 👌
“I am alone. Not lonely.” -Neil McCauley
“If you’re lonely, get a dog.” -David DeAngelo
Dogs are not company. They are just there for the food.
@@Tom_Quixote Dogs have literally protected their owners from attackers, and many dogs have saved their owners from dying of a heart attack.
Sure, they are there for food too, we all need to eat in order to survive, but a Dog's loyalty is truly pure.