my advice for young queer people
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- Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
- quick special episode bc i got fired up journaling today & really wish i had heard this sort of thing from someone else when i was figuring things out.
i'm talking today about self love, developing a strong sense of self, developing personal style, dating advice, etc. all the important things, some practical and some very mindset-based.
i'm thinking specifically with a queer lens here so hopefully this reaches the right people!
thank you to those who've been commenting and following along, it makes my day seeing people's comments on this channel! xoxoxo!
subscriber count: 2,753
00:00 - wtf im talking abt
02:25 - detach what the world wants from u
04:32 - date a lot
05:43 - move to a big city
06:22 - don't worry about fitting labels
08:17 - coming out isn't a big deal forever
09:40 - develop personal taste
10:32 - hope!
11:06 - sense of self leads 2 happiness
12:45 - xoxoxo
13:19 - extras
I love the fact that you spoke about living a not so ambitious life and wanting to live a chill life. Everybody thinks you have to want a crazy life when some people just want to chill. Love your content Claire!
I'm a bi guy from the UK coming to terms with my identity and love your style and apartment, youre a massive inspiration 👊 love seeing how comfortable you are with yourself on this channel. please post more like this!!
ahh!! hello! thank you so so much that means a lot to me! u got me all fired up to post more stuff like this for sure. appreciate the comment!!
thank youu!! that's literally what i needed to hear as a queer teen from a small country with kinda big dreams. like, my parents talk shit and do shit, 11 years of bullying in school and the whole life of bullying at home don't make life easier either, but hearing all this advice? makes me think life can be enjoyable :)
I'm 20, I came out as bi when I was like 14? 15 maybe. Recently I've realized I don't vibe with the term bi anymore and I really beat myself up over the fact that I couldn't "decide" which term fit more to what I was experiencing and feeling. And honestly you're so right about the label thing, being able to identify with the bisexual label really helped me express myself up until now, it made me feel connected to a group especially because I didn't have as many queer or even just open minded people around me. Now, with a more open community I have no reason to "explain" myself anymore, I can just *exist*. I like the term queer a lot tho, because it's so broad and I believe means different things to different people. Your video was great and I loved the positive outlook on everything 🥹🫶
it’s crazy that you said “Podunk nowhere town” as that’s basically verbatim how i describe where i live 😂 although it could be worse! i could be living in a like, cornfield place. i am currently a college freshman and the idea of fleeing this place is from a certain angle appealing, but at the same time a terrifying prospect as i’ve never felt independent enough for something like that. i still rely on my mother for so much if we’re being so fr. but overall i have been forced recently to reckon with the fact that basically in so many situations the onus is on me to take action.
i had always viewed being gay as a major curse, like you’re telling me i have super limited options for dating, and i have to use a damn app to find them? but i recently saw another side of it…that actually gives you a lot more of your own control over dating when you think about it. and if there really does end up only being like 3 options then imma just view that as God telling me to wait till i can get my ass outta here.
sorry for just word vomiting, it’s currently tweak hours and i should be getting to bed, but i wanted you to know i appreciated this.
"god telling me to wait til i can get my ass out of here" is SOOO REAL
I discovered the term “masc lesbian” maybe a few months ago. And after diving into it, I learned that there are people out there just like *me*!!! Down to how I dress, how I present and express myself! I literally could not believe it. I always felt like an alien and early on accepted that I would never find anyone that I feel I could relate to. (Esp coming from a Mexican household where it’s almost hard to express yourself without being made fun of!!!)
When I found your ig page through a reel one day, I could not explain the sense of excitement and pride I felt. I feel like representation definitely matters and I’m so thankful for your content and advice for those who are trying to discover themselves.
I’m now 24, and I do wish I had friends that are part of our community that I could go out with or even just stay in and chill. It’s definitely hard but if anyone sees this, I am happy to connect, friend invitations are open 🥰
Claire, keep up the good work! Love the editing and consistent uploads. I’ve never clicked so quickly on a new upload 😭😂. Also thank you for making this a safe space for queer people!!
Love from Los Angeles 🫶🏼🥹
hell yes! it feels so good to see other people and masc lesbians because I felt the same way as you not long ago. we are actually everywhere! your comment means so much to me and really motivates me to keep posting. its so important that people see themselves represented or like they aren't an alien or weird. i relate to u so much. thanks for the comment! :)
i’m 15 and finally labelled myself as a lesbian two days ago after a long period of denial. it’s hard to cope with alone, but the safety videos like this bring make it so much easier
Wise words! I’m 23 and I’ve discovered a lot of the same things, especially how coming out enables you to be more true to yourself in other areas of your life. I’ve been watching your outfit reels for a while so it was a pleasant surprise to see you make UA-cam videos too!
Just realized I'm transmasculine aroace after initially coming out in like 7th grade :) I'm really excited to get out there into the world and be able to more openly present as masc as I want!!
Hey me too!
I’m 27 and just now coming out to myself as queer. It’s really inspiring to watch you and feel your energy and how comfortable you are with yourself. I’m on my way, and appreciate this share as I navigate this whole new world!! ❤
thank you! i'm so glad i helped! that process can take some time even tho we want it to happen overnight, but it gets so so so much easier over time. so happy for u and your journey!
I’m just a lil lesbian from San Antonio but I swear I’m at a really conservative school now and sometimes your videos really are my lifeline, like the way you live your life is so inspirational and these videos really do mean a lot especially as someone who just started their undergrad n is wondering how life can be after
I moved from Texas to Washington… things definitely get better when you’re in a more LGBT+ friendly place
You have no idea how your videos saves me from thinking what is around me is the only reality
Thank you for this! I’m in a small catholic all girls HS and its a very tough environment because most people are straight and very judgy or homophobic. I feel super isolated and alone a lot of the time but this gives me hope for college and later in life that I will be surrounded by supportive people and find the loml
I’m not even gay but I find this video so inspiring and somehow relatable. I love the how queer people are constantly challenging the norms and expectations , thanks for existing ❤
I stumbled across this video as a young queer girl and this truly opened up my mindset! I’ve followed your TikTok even before I discovered my identity and your attitude and positivity has definitely shaped my pov of my queerness! ❤️
your words/channel are like a virtual reassuring hug truly, thank you claire🫂
byeeeeeee this is so sweet thank you so much!
This video was so solid, I thought you were bigger on UA-cam than only starting 3 months ago! All this advice is stuff I’ve learned in my time on the internet or come to the realization of on my own while journaling over the years. But some of these are still new realizations so hearing all of them from an external source is very validating and a good reminder to have. Thank you 😊
- a queer girl living in the south just flowing between bi & lesbian and masc & femme labels
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH CLAIRE !!
Me on this exact day stressing out about being myself and rebranding into the life I know I need for myself 🥺
The "stop acting like you don't want sh*t" part DAMN GOT ME GOOD GURL 🙌🏼
ps can u be my life coach lmfaooo
no really this video is speaking to literally everything I'm feeling rn can we plz be friends (24 F from NY!!!)
YESSSSSS forreal! im so glad u found my video! because i relate so much to ur comment & hell yes stop acting like u don't want shit! we would definitely be friends.
I appreciate every second when you post, thank you claire :)
that was so helpful, it opened my mindset fr !! i really needed this thank you claire
Nothing like a little push to have hope. Thanks for sharing!
for sure! thanks for the comment!
love your energy and great advice! I definitely resonate with what you said ab being able to apply the mindset around coming out to other parts of your life and really listening to your own desires and intuition
as someone coming from a culture that places greater value on family and the collective, one thing I think I’ve been trying to figure out has been how to balance my own desires with the desires of family (e.g. wanting to come out to my grandma but parents being worried it would stress her health too much) and how best to negotiate that balance - sometimes I think the western focus on individualism can disregard that balance
great vid!
this is sooo useful!! thank you so much for all your advice
i needed to hear every word Claire!🫶
I really needed this - thank you❤
THANK YOU! I needed to hear this today
This just came at the right time for me. Exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for helping me to dream big!
I...needed to hear this. Thank you!
just found ur channel & this vid really resonated with me. such a great reminder to dream big & to feel worthy of all of my greatest desires 🙏🏼❤️ thank you boutta go watch ur other vids!!
We definitely need more videos like this! Relatable as well
Another gift from the algorithm. First time "meeting" you, instant sub! Love the quaint chaotic but based vibe, the self-reflection but forward moving, and absolutely dig the topic. Let's gooo 🙌💯
I couldn't have found this video at a better time. I've come to realize I fear what people think so much, and I've known that it's a problem but it hasn't really sunk in how much it actually is holding me back and how other people can sense it too. These last couple of days I've been finding advice for how to be more confident and live the life you want, and the main takeaways from their videos and yours is to really sit down and figure out what the life you want looks like and start working towards getting there, no matter what others think. So, thank you for this, you're really helped a young lesbian out!! :)
I don’t think people pointed out but your thumbnails are fire
literally!!
dating advice i needed to hear!! the part about trying to make it work with someone to validate your identity 😬
preach, girl, PREACH!! 🙏
This was great, THANK YOUU! 💗
Claire I’m loving your long form content - super inspiring to see you trying so many new things 🥹 keep going! you’re amazing!! 💙
thank you so so much! :)
Claire you are speaking to my SOUL!! This is exactly what I needed to hear since I recently came out and I don’t have a community yet. Your videos are so comforting and make me feel less alone 🥹 thank you for sharing and being so real and honest!!! ❤️
that makes me so happy to hear! congratulations on coming out, what a big milestone! im SO glad my videos have helped, that is a big reason i make them in the first place. feeling alone is the worst. but you're not alone! cheers!
this was inspiring, tysm! moving to a big city isn't in my possibilities rn but I'll definitely do after college
this was iconic and very encouraging, ty :)
Thank you dude. I’m a trans guy who’s about 3 weeks away from moving away from a US village of 300 (everyone thinks I’m a lesbian despite trying to be out??) and I’m on my way to a big city to reunite with my queer familia 💚 this year away has been rough and this last month has been really long I really appreciate the moral boost
This is the realest advice I’ve come across so far. I wish this was something I had seen when I was younger. I’ve come to realize all of what you’ve said this year and it feels good to know that I’ve come this far with how i process all this stuff. Hopefully more young queer people come across this 💪
Your video gives me so much hope and confidence. Thanks for your adivce Claire
im so glad! thanks for the support :)
Great messages! The journey in getting more comfortable with oneself is the best part, important part even - good overall blanket message. Right now I'm enjoying vicariously living through your styles haha! As you highlighted in another video that was also spot on is finding a practical, good earning job to give yourself security, which allows you to be free to explore other interests, hobbies outside of the work hours = perfect balance. Way to go! I am an oldie lesbian mom living my life out here in Sweden (moved out here when I was 25!) I was so afraid to come out to new friends, etc when I first moved, but realized very quickly...that nobody caaaaares lol. It is inspiring and interesting to hear your queer story (and likely similar in some ways to other young folks finding their way) - wishing the best to everyone finding all shades of life in your personal journeys! Cheers!
wow! thank you so much for this comment! "oldie lesbian mom living in Sweden" makes you sound like the coolest person ever to me. it's awesome to hear that someone all the way in sweden related to my videos. and yes, i've found the job thing to be so true! and yes it's so true no one cares!!!! it's honestly so reassuring to hear that you agree. how cool that the internet brought us all together. cheeers!!!
Thank you. This was so so so helpful.
i have always found it difficult to find someone who matches my energy in terms of gender expression because of how individual and unique it is. however seeing your tiktoks last year and getting style inspiration etc has really helped with confidence and self acceptance. this video was everything i needed to hear so thank you! love from the uk :)
thank you so much, i'm so glad! cheers! 😁
this is some really good advice!
LOVE the hype
Needed to hear all of your advice after a hard week 😅 and immediately subscribed after you said where’s my coffee lol 😂
this is really helpful actually even though im watching it at 3am uk time... but yeah i think as a 16 year old girl who has exams in a couple of months this was kinda exactly what i needed to hear to stop stressing so much about life and being queer and my future sooo yeha :p youre doing a really good thing with videos like this
hey, im also in the uk and just starting uni so i was in your position a few years ago and stressing a lot, so I just wanna say that it'll all turn out ok :) and you'll be alright and things will work out, so try not to stress too much about it all and just enjoy life as much as you can, and good luck with the exams
@@gracet7533 thanks dude im glad to hear it tbh i just want gcses to be over, but im trying not to stress over it too much
you just made my day so thank u :) good luck with uni!
thank you🙂💜
ty so much! really good advice
lovely advice, thanks! :)
I'm 23 and still hella confused about my identity within the lgbtq community. I've been stressing out about labels (especially after dating a few lesbians who didn't like the idea of me being bi o anything other than gay). So thank you for saying that we shouldn't have to worry so much about it, i needed to hear that
hey, don't listen to them about that!! whether or not you're bi or gay doesn't matter, because in that context they should be secure in knowing that you at that moment, loved or was interested in loving them. I hope you find your identity, just remember that as much as labels don't matter, you can still claim labels you feel the best even despite some stigma... you're you!
Hi. Thanks for doing this video. It meant a lot
great to hear 10:33
it's hard to balance between the big idealistic goals and being "realistic" bc things are hard
just put a bit of effort in. depending where you're at
great things are possible! think "wouldn't it be good if"
and if you get an opportunity wondering if you should take it think of what might happen if it went right! and not wrong/only the difficult parts
i love to listen to you
Non-conforming person here! Feel like labels got too much pressure (At least for me!) but I like people and gender is a overly complicated and very simple thing for me:) This was really helpful because I didn't entirely expect to get this far in life so no I have to kinda figure out what I want. I'm doing really good now, but like, I have no idea about careers or style or really anything lol, so thanks for the video:)
Yea, I like how you said that the things you want and enjoy are important, because for me I always felt like they weren't and I would just sort of become what other people wanted me to be. Anyways I do desperately wish I could move to a bigger city with more queer people but I fear that I will never be able to get or keep a job like everyone else. I can't even get a minimum wage job so... I just don't know what to do. I live with my parents, they don't really like me. Pretty negative I know... I appreciate your positive video and admire you and anyone who has became independent and/or grown their social group. I just been feeling pretty hopeless as the end of college is approaching in a few months (A.A. degree from community college - probably useless?)
genuinely REALLY needed this. as a young lesbian IT'S HARD, but this gives me hope!! :) thank you!!!!
hey, i'm a bi guy from France and i recently came out, i'm trying to find my place in all of this and this video helped thanks a lot !
love you
wow, thanks sm Claire!! I recently came out as a lesbian, after being bi quite a while, but I’m still kinda coming to terms with it especially since I’ve just started uni and it’s been hard to find myself overall. Im still trying to isolate myself from all of the lesbian terms (masc, femme etc etc) and figure my style and expression out - any tips for that? Im kinda afraid of not being attractive to people I’m attracted to (mostly because of the stereotypes, yeah I know it sounds ridiculous) But anyways many thanks again!
I really appreciate this video Claire. I’ve been feeling down lately, and doubting I will get out of the borderline homophobic area I live. But this definitely gave me the hope I need to keep trying. .
@@angelicurse Thanks.
i have definitely felt that way before. it can be so so tough. but hang in there, i cant even describe how much better things can get. always keep trying! rooting for u!
@@claire_holt12 Thanks again.
Edit: Good news. I have a remote job that makes a decent amount of money. A friend and I are planning on moving to a more queer-friendly place to live in 5-6 months (I’m still saving up my money). I’m also planning on applying to a trade school, so I can get a certification to be an auto mechanic (I’ve wanted to do it for a while). Things are definitely looking up.
ahem. prepare for an unedited (except for the parts I edited) essay:
This video literally feels like it came from my future self, and it is the most rewarding thing (you even kind of resemble me). I came from a really fundamentalist community (cult), always knowing I wanted to be an artist/writer, but
a) never had access to classic art lessons (small school with questionably credited teachers)
b) couldn't have access to tools to animate even for self-teaching ( software is expensiveee)
c) no chance of a career whatsoever in any of my interests because I was taught that I had to stay within that community and do whatever they said (like the rigidity of social expectations to an extreme).
I came out to my parents as a lesbian senior year when it got to be too much. There's shame around attraction in general, so I couldn't communicate my desire to date- but you hit the nail on the head in this video. Not to mention, I couldn't see a future for myself without art in the forefront. More than girls, i'm in love with a good story. I tried for years, and everything else felt suffocating compared to what I knew I wanted and continuosly deprived myself of (this behavior of self-deprivation is still my biggest battle).
After coming out, it was rocky at first, but I kept making choices that aligned with myself. I became more open about my passions and my thought processes and my journeys. I started to let people get to know me.
Now, my parents let me transfer schools. I go to a downtown public school for the arts that is like 95% queer, and feel like I've made genuine connections for the first time in my life. I take a lot of risks (being myself) that I worry will make me hated/be selfish/be embarrasing, and am still surprised each time to find that people gravitate towards me. Why should we be surprised though, right? This is the ideal world, where people love and encourage those who are fully embodying themselves.
Oh, and I'm moving to NYC next year. I got into one of my dream schools with a pretty good scholarship. I'll be studying animation. I'll have to take out some student loans (lots), but I'm following my dreams. I know what I want in life and am doing it. As easy as that. And all that stress for nothinggg
tl;dr: you're right.
I'm a 16yo lesbian girl and that's so true, the earlier you set yout intentions the better it is. And i really like the fact that you talked about "coming out" everytime you meet someone, like ?? I was like "do i need to do this forever till i die damn", but its actually very reassuring bcs people will know if i have a girlfriend anyway, so thanks for your reassuring words on those topics ❤ :)( don't forget us when you will get famous girl ! ) ( sorry for the mistakes im french lol)
Im non binary and also a people pleaser, so it's really hard for me to correct people when it comes to my pronouns, casually coming out or dressing and wearing whatever the hell I want. Whenever I have a chance to do it I just don't. I start thinking about what people expect or think about me when I do any of those things, I get paralysed and I end up not doing it. Until now I thought I accepted myself as how I was, but maybe I haven't gotten there yet and my lack of self love and craving of external validation is what is keeping me from actually choosing to be happy.
Simply slay
im a lesbian, 15 years old, not sure what the fuck to do with my life, dresses masc and dont know what i want to do. you have no idea how muh this video helped me. thankyou.
Hi, I was looking for male lesbian UA-camrs, and you came to me, thank you very much, I'm marathoning your videos, I've never felt so welcomed, thank you for existing. Of course, I'm from Brazil
Love this video & love your sweater!!! Where did you buy it?
thanks! it's from abercrombie mens section - it's called "marled crew sweater" on their site!
i got too many things i wanna do n no money, i pray everyday for the day i go viral n can make an income by doing something i wanna do
❤
whats ur haircut called? :)
The ” by the way , I’m a lesbian” had me dead
you have the same name as the actress of emma in h2o wow thats fascinating
wait i love that show! that’s like my favorite show lol
i wish i could move
relatable
Im dreaming big now 🥹🫶
rooting for u!
And if you can, make a video on how to actually use pinterest and make your fashion visions come to life
Please speak on more “hot takes” you have on the lesbian community. I think we need a reality check as a group regarding certain behaviors!
Thank you UA-cam algorithm 😂 I’m pan and NB and I’m trying to make peace with wanting things, even if other people don’t approve. I want to have a female partner, I want to leave the Bible Belt, I want to keep my hair short and my style androgynous!
hell yes, i resonate with that soooooo much. i definitely tried to convince myself i didn't want all those things too but it didn't work. i promise you all those things are possible for you!
Thank you for this video, ‘dream big’ part especially hit me. I‘ve been living in Moscow my whole life, but now I’m starting to realize that maybe I need to stop waiting for things to change here and move to a country where the government is okay to queer people. Being against the government and saying something about it is literally dangerous here and some of my friends who are not even queer feel unsafe too. Too bad I have to finish university here, almost 3 years of studying left. And I’m afraid it would be difficult to start working as a clinical psychologist in another country, my English is okay but it’s not perfect, and I guess being a therapist abroad would mean working only with Russian speakers or people whose English isn’t their first language. But it isn’t the worst option, I guess
Long story short, your video made me realize again that I should work on making my life comfortable and fun, and for a pansexual girl from Russia who prefers dating girls and hates her government the most reasonable option is to move :))